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black and online
Being black on the internet is unbelievably draining
I want to unwind with racism jump scares
I can never escape it and i hate it
I wish I could go online and only interact with other black ppl
The racism makes me so sad it tires me so much
Also if ur white plz dont comment on this I do not want ur pitty
#black tumblr#black in america#poc punk#black punk#racism#im mad as hell#discrimination#online spaces
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Having a chronic illness that is impacted by weather is actually the worst
Oh it’s raining, now your joints hurt
What’s that? It’s supposed to rain in three days? Never too early to make your joints hurt
Now it’s nice and sunny! So your joints should be fine....right??
NOPE! it got warm too fast so uhhh you’re gonna need some joint pain.
Please just let me liveeeee
#disabled#disability#disabled problems#chronic illness#rheumatoid arthritis#autoimmune#chronically sick#cripple shit#cripple posting#complaining
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So I got a steroid shot
it was nice, but at the same time felt like a cruel joke
I got a glimpse into what life was like for me before I got sick
I'm not even sure it was worth it
I felt so devastated when it wore off
I feel like I will be chasing that feeling for the rest of my life
I can't get it again because it had bad side effects
I have been sick for so long that I forgot what it was like to be well
I miss it so much
#disability#disabled#chronic illness#rheumarthritis#ehlers danlos syndrome#rheumatoid arthritis#cripple posting#cripple shit
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I hate the weird culture that non-immunocompromised people have built up around sickness
We are in a society that prioritizes the individual and their needs until it comes to sickness
Suddenly when someone is sick sharing is caring
It is somehow rude of me to move seats when someone in my class is sick
How dare I wear a mask when someone who is sick enters my home
I should want to be bedridden for weeks because of their lack of caution
I should want their germs what's wrong with me
Suddenly it is rude to put yourself first
#disabled#disabled problems#disability#chronic illness#immunocompromised#cripple punk#rheumatoid arthritis#covid isn't over#wear a mask#wear a fucking mask
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i just rbed a post about something similar but. i need my white disabled to folks to be more aware of the privileges they have when navigating the healthcare system. every bit of medical ableism one can experience can be made even worse by being a poc. some of us can't threaten to report a doctor to the ethics board, or refuse care from healthcare workers who aren't masking, without jeopardizing our access to care in general or even our physical safety. we are more likely to be seen as drug seeking, or marked as noncompliant, or experience medical abuse and neglect. that's not to say these things don't happen to white disabled people, but i just think it's important to recognize how dangerous receiving medical care can be for disabled poc specifically. please keep this in mind when giving advice on navigating healthcare.
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People like to pretend I will "get better" so they do not have to think about the deadly lie they are living. Abandoning disabled and high-risk people to preventable death is eugenics.
To clarify, this is NOT just an American issue -- think of the "pan" in pandemic.
The MSKCC Library
The People's CDC (weekly weather reports on COVID in the U.S.)
Image IDs available in Alt Text and written out below:
Image ID begins. A black and white cartoon comic titled Pandemic Year 4. This is panel 1. A boy with short hair — Joey, the author of the comic — is holding a Christmas wreath and handing it to his boyfriend, a boy with long hair and a beard, who is standing in a window while decorating. The text reads: This year, my boyfriend and I got fresh pine wreaths from the farmer’s market — our fist big Christmas decorations together!
Panel 2. A hand holds pine needles. Cartoon stink clouds radiate off of the pine needles. The text reads: I break pine needles between my fingers and it smells hideous. Pain shoots through my head.
Panel 3. Joey stands in front of a table on which there are various foods. He looks disgusted and is covering his nose and mouth with his hands. The text reads: This is how I have lived since my February 2020 COVID infection. COVID caused brain and nerve damage, making everything smell and taste like rot. The condition is called parosmia, and it has no cure. Eating is a nightmare.
Panel 4. Joey’s boyfriend, a taller boy with long hair and a beard, puts his hand on Joey’s shoulder. They are shown from behind and are both wearing backpacks and winter coats. The text reads: Last week, my boyfriend walked me home from work midday after I had a near-fainting episode. I wear a heart monitor full-time. Doctors say I’m “too young”.
Panel 5. Joey is shown from behind, sitting sadly and gazing out a window. The text reads: I’ve literally been isolated from the rest of the world for four years. One COVID infection destroyed my life, and I can’t risk another. How can I get you to understand? After becoming disabled by COVID at 19 years old, I have been completely shut off from the outside world.
Panel 6. Joey stands in between two maskless and anonymous figures. Joey looks uncomfortable and is crossing his arms and gazing at them. He is wearing a respirator mask and goggles. The figure on the right is holding a bag labeled “food Joey can’t eat”. The text reads: “Friends” and family who have seen the depth of my suffering for four years have stopped masking and can’t be bothered to care. Family Christmas meant that I had to reiterate daily that I would not and physically could not eat at restaurants.
Panel 7. A drawing of an open laptop, next to which lays an N95 mask. On the laptop, a headline from the Washington Post is displayed. The headline reads: Covid kills nearly 10,000 in a month as holidays fuel spread, WHO says. The comic text reads: This winter has been the 2nd highest peak of the pandemic, with at least 10,000 Americans dying of COVID in December. Playing pretend at “normalcy” is profoundly violent and deadly. Under the comic frame, a citation reads: The Washington Post, January 11, 2024. This is an undercount, as there is no more COVID tracking in the U.S.
Panel 8. A drawing of Joey gesturing at an educational chalk board with a pointer. He is wearing a respirator mask, goggles, and a sweater vest. The text reads: COVID is a virus that causes long-term damage to your organs and nervous system. It’s also a Biosafety Level 3 pathogen, like tuberculosis, meaning that is can be lethal upon inhalation and requires special and serious PPE in Laboratories. The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center has a digital library of research on COVID impacts. https://libguides.mskcc.org/CovidImpacts/Home
Panel 9. An anonymous figure behind an oration desk is trying to cover a pile of bones behind them. On the pile of bones is a flag that says: Just keep buying and working! The text reads: You are being led to enact violence on your community members by a government who is sacrificing you on the altar of capital. You should be terrified.
Panel 10. A drawing of Joey’s head from the side. he is wearing a respirator mask. The text reads: There is no neutrality in a mass-death and mass-disabling pandemic. Wear a mask or forever be complicit. The comic is dated February 3, 2024. Image ID ends.
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I feel like nobody talks about the generational trauma of having a disabled parent who projects their internalized ableism onto their similarly disabled child.
Like just because you’re “worse off” than me doesn’t mean I don’t deserve accomodations!!!
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One thing that I love about my disabilities is that they have taught me to be slow and gentile
While I might not always want to be slow and gentle, I must
I need to treat my body with love and kindness
I need to treat her like a baby bird kicked from the nest for being too small
unable to keep up with those around her
I spent so much time hating my body
When she just needed to be loved
#this is still a process for me and many others our relationships with our disabilities are hard and confusing I'm trying to love myself more#chronic illness#disabled problems#ehlers danlos syndrome#rheumarthritis#immunocompromised#this post is about physically disabled people#disabled#disability#cripple punk#rheumatoid arthritis
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As a disabled person, I despise the phrase "Thank you"
I hate being forced to say when people do the bare minimum for me
I hate being forced to say it when people help me just so they can feel good about themselves
I hate being forced to say thank you when people cross my boundaries for the sake of "helping" me
I hate being forced to say thank you to doctors who tell me nothing is wrong with me
I hate being forced to say thank you every day when I never mean it
#disabled#cripple punk#this post is about physically disabled people#chronic illness#disability#disabled problems#cripple posting#cripple shit
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Ever since I got my mobility aid I keep hearing
"I hope you feel better" or "Get well soon"
I know these people mean well, but I want to tell them I won't
I want them to know that I'll be like this for the rest of my life
That I'll only get worse
I don't want them living with the comforting idea that this is temporary
I want them to have to face the uncomfortable reality that I must live like this forever
#disability#disabled#disabled problems#chronic illness#cripple punk#cripple posting#this post is about physically disabled people#mobility aid#ranting
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The transition from having an invisible disability to being visibly disabled has been jarring
to say the least.
It makes me feel like I'm faking my disability
I'm constantly worried that if I go out without my mobility aid and someone will say something
I feel like my disability is a performance that I need to keep up
I'm filled with dread about what random able-bodied people think and hate it
I wish I didn't care what they thought
#chronic illness#disabled problems#disability#disabled#ehlers danlos syndrome#this post is about physically disabled people#cripple posting#cripple shit
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Mobility aid slander
I recently got a mobility aid and I wanna talk about it a bit.
So I got very basic fore arm crutches, they like metallic hospital looking ones.
I have POTS EDS and rheumatoid arthritis
I have ra in my hands and feet so I was very worried when looking for mobility aids.
I know that with almost all of them they put pressure on your wrists
So far I have not been having much wrist pain from my crutches
Although its not all perfect some cons I've been are experiencing are
The handles hurt like hell to hold onto for rlly long periods of time (I recommend getting foam covers or grippy gloves)
Crutches make it VERY hard to open up doors
It is also really hard to carry stuff
When use them for a while it hurts my shoulders
because of my ra sometimes I need to decide which pain is worse and spare my hands by not using the crutches
ra in my hands makes it hard to grip the handles sometimes
If i'm not careful my elbows will hyper extend while I'm using them
Everyone on earth will ask you what happened to you when you start using them
If the crutches are not at the right settings for your body you will not be stable while using them
It is a nightmare to find places to put them when you are in class or on public transport or a restaurant
Ok now for things I like about them
They offer a lot of support for both sides of my body
waiting in lines has become something I can do without insane pain or feeling like I'm going to pass out
I have bad hips and these make walking hurt them less
There are a lot of different ways to walk with them
If I do not feel like using both I can just use one and it functions almost like a cane with extra arm support
The ones I have are very easy to adjust
If one of my feet is really bothering me I can use them like regular crutches and not put pressure on that foot
the cuffs add extra support that keeps my wrists from killing me
I can swing with them to go faster if I need to
The ones I have are shockingly lightweight
Thats all for now.
#disabled#disability#ehlers danlos syndrome#rheumarthritis#chronic illness#rheumatoid arthritis#mobility aid#forearm crutches#Mobility aid slander
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my current thoughts on mobility aids I've used
Unassisted walking
Pros
Not feeling judged
No jokes at my expense
Cons
Ouch
Fatigue
Cane
Pros
Reduced fatigue
Able to take weight off one problem area at a time
Cons
Hurts shoulder
All weight on wrist
Can only assist one leg at a time
Crutches
Pros
Able to switch gaits to take weight off problem area(s)
Very stable and balanced
Can move quickly
Significantly reduced fatigue (still affected by inclines)
Cons
Cannot hold anything
Difficulties opening doors
Difficulties going upstairs for non-fatigue reasons (you try walking upstairs and also carrying two big sticks, it's difficult)
My arms get tired (they’re getting stronger)
People love to stare
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true!! I have to sneak my mobility aid and I wish I could talk to my doctors about it. From the research i've done I think its doing more good than bad.
braces do damage to your body
canes do damage to your body
crutches do damage to your body
rollators do damage to your body
wheelchairs do damage to your body
before you choose to use a mobility aid you need to weigh the pros and cons of using one. there are drawbacks to every single mobility aid. there is no such thing as a harmless mobility aid. mobility aids are not the right choice for everyone and it's important that people emphasize that when suggesting that people try them. mobility aids can permanently damage your joints and it's important that people emphasize that when suggesting them.
mobility aids need to be an informed decision.
so many people have permanent damage to their bodies that they regret because people online told them to try a mobility aid and that there were no downsides. there are downsides.
a mobility aid is only the right choice when the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. it takes information for someone to know whether they would benefit enough from a mobility aid to make it worth it. when you tell someone that there are no problems with mobility aids, that doctors are all lying about the damage they do, you deny people information. doctors can be wrong and can deny people mobility aids incorrectly but there's truth in the fact that they damage joints, change gaits, and cause muscle atrophy among other problems.
and on that note doctor/PT/OT guidance is important when it's available. using mobility aids that have been sized incorrectly, even for a short time, can cause enough damage that mobility aids are no longer an option for that person. using mobility aids incorrectly, even for a short time, can cause enough damage that mobility aids are no longer an option for that person. failing to tell people that they need to learn how to use and size their mobility aid correctly (preferably with a doctor/PT/OT's help) causes real harm to people.
give people information when you suggest mobility aids to them. people listen to your suggestions without researching and it causes harm.
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Self destructive behavior pertaining to disability isn’t talking about enough
Forcing yourself to do activities that you know will hurt your body is bad!
Making yourself not use your mobility aid when you know you need it is bad!
Not taking your medicine because you want to get worse or just don’t care anymore is bad!!!!!
I think that mental illness can definitely manifest differently for disabled people. It’s not rlly talked about because this all stuff that ableds see as inspiring or us pushing through. It is just harmful behavior.
Since every single disabled person is or has been mentally ill this stuff is just seen as normal.
#disabled#disabled problems#disability#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness#this post is about physically disabled people#immunocompromised#rheumatoid arthritis#arthritis#cripple punk#cripple posting#mobility aid#cripple shit#mental illness#mentalheathawareness
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When I was first diagnosed with my illness I couldn’t wait to start medication
I couldn’t wait to get better
And every day without failed I’d take all my meds
But after a year of this I’ve slowly been slacking on my meds
I hate taking them now
Every pill I swallow makes me want to gag
It is just a reminder that I’ll always be sick
I desperately wish I could feel the hope I once had again
#disabled#disabled problems#disability#vent post#chronic illness#this post is about physically disabled people#cripple posting#rheumatoid arthritis#ehlers danlos syndrome
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Friendly reminder that there is no special criteria you need to meet to use a mobility aid
I see a lot of people hesitant to get one because they “aren’t disabled enough”
Here’s quick guide to help you see if you need one!
Do you want a mobility aid?
If you answered yes then good new, you need one!
#disabled#disabled problems#disability#ehlers danlos syndrome#rheumarthritis#chronic illness#this post is about physically disabled people#mobility aid#arthritis#cripple shit#cripple posting
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