nothing

- short story -

Nothing.

an endless expanse of nothing. Not that Nothing was bad, it certainly wasn’t Something, but an endless plane of bright white wasn’t a terrible place to be. At least here there was peace, tranquility, quiet. All in all, there was absolutely nothing that could be changed, misread, demoralized, destroyed, or violated in any term. Nothing was safe, Nothing was a good place to be.

A stern gaze locked to the horizon to keep focused on how nice this was.  Rhythmic  breathing, uninterrupted. One,two,three in, one,two,three out.  Yes, this was mightily pleasant.  No doors, no windows, no up or down, sideways;  in this plane of Nothing, there was just the surface (Or atl east, It certainly felt like they sat on something sleek and flat).  All this Nothing to simply sit and breathe and keep an empty mind, up until they got tired, then maybe they would lie down instead of sitting. What a change, right? Not like when that pit first appeared.  The locked gaze shifted to a spot, just a little to the downward-right of the horizon line. No siree, that was a bad change. Just this vacant black hole, with nothing but echoing darkness, so thick and cold that to even fathom that such a thing had appeared was gut-wrenchingly horrifying! But it was fine, see, because they were over here and the pit was over there, so they could still pretend that the Nothing was all that existed. One,two,three in, one,two,three out.  Yes, this was pleasant.  So nice, that they felt it well in their chest;  ah! Maybe they would sing! A hymn, or maybe just hum a tune-  something different than the quiet stillness- Something..flickered. Eyes rolling upward, not to disturb the careful posture of the head or neck, the gaze glanced to and fro. Something had flickerd- it had to be Something, because Nothing had never flickered before.   A change was falling down! Oh dear, not again! It will be okay, nevermind that, just… focus on breathing. One,two,three in- Something…fell. Gently, softly, back and forth, just inches from their nose. It glittered gold and twirled on non-existant air currents, unperturbed by the razing , wide-eyed stare of the one who sat in Nothing. -One,two,three out.   No, this was not nice. Where had Something come from? What was that..that thing, doing there?  Sitting, innocently, softly curled into itself, un-moving now that it’d finished its decent from the sky. Why was it such a colour? A nearly golden yellow, completely free of Nothing or its close colour, white. What had caused it to fall? They were so distracted, they’d missed another one! Flitting over their shoulder, they’d nearly snapped their head to look (They didn’t! almost, though, almost..) as it twirled on the empty air and too, drifted down, resting onto the ground. Those wide eyes bore down, a set mouth frowning deeply at Two strange petals, that had come from seemingly, nowhere, both sentimentally curled, both golden-yellow and- a weathered finger gingerly twitched, moving on its own accord under the harsh gaze to gently touch one   -soft. Quickly snapping back intoposition, the dry mouth cleared, steeling sights forward again. Whatever this Something was, it didn’t matter.  There was still Plenty of Nothing around, and far better things to focus on, like the tantric breathing exercise. One, two- Something landed on their head. It was so light that, had they’d ever been somewhere that wasn’t No where for so long, they’d have doubt something had landed there. But without anything ever having touched their head before, it was clear that Something had landed there. A strange strangled noise arose from their throat, arm creaking as they lifted up to grasp it. It was a flower.  One as soft as the petals, just as golden and yellow, clasped carefully in spindly fingers . They held it, just a moment, before with a grunt, they crumpled it under weak fingers. Where ever this Something had some from, it did not belong here. It wasn’t white, it was Yellow;  It wasn’t hard like the surface, but Soft. It was something, and not Nothing, which it should have been. Crushing it until it was bits and pieces (a difficult process, it was soft and smushed together rather than turned to powder), they flicked their fingers clean, satisfied at the destruction. (which there shouldn’t have been in the first place, not in this place of Nothing) Their eyes stared on towards the petals that had fallen first. Perhaps those should be destroyed to, so that the Nothing could be rebalanced, so that there would be nothing but them and the Pit. Then something..fell on their shoulder. This time they flinched, jerking to the side, neck vertebra grinding as they moved. Eyes burning and wide, hands clenched, they stared. Another!  Another flower had fallen! Something out of Nothing-  this was getting ridiculous! Their teeth ground, but they didn’t move, remembering  that this place (that was once Nothing, and was quickly and begrudgingly becoming Something) was for peace, contentment, and constant tantric lessons. One,two,three in- They shuffled their body to face forward with a straight back, face relaxing into a cold resolve, before a dusty arm lifted to swat the flower away. -One,two,three out

There. See? Now the flower was off, off to rest at the ground with its crushed brethren an pieces of another.  There would have to be peace now,  the flower from Something would surely be the last one to fall at the threat of being destroyed,  orbeing tossed in the pit. Something brushed against their bare back. Arching forward in surprise at the touch, their torso twisted, vehemently glaring at the disturbance! Three! Three more damned flowers, gently settling to the ground as though they’d breezed in from a long distance, resting conformingly and innocently against the bridge of ground and skin. ‘Enough!’  They thought, grabbing the flowers and tearing the petals in fruitful attempt to cease the appearance of Something, teeth grinding as the tiny golden flecks rained from their aching and trembling fingers. This was a place of Nothing!  It ha Always been a place of Nothing! Save for them and that pit, there wasn’t suppose to Be a Something! “If any more show,” A dry, un-used voice cracked, howling with nonexistent air “I swear, it will all be tossed into that shadowed, vile hole!” The  warning was screamed out to the Nothing. There was no wind to carry it nor any walls to bounce it back. They listened, bristling; for a moment, believing there might’ve been a shout back, an echo of some kind. But the moment carried on, and the Nothing remained Nothing, and gradually, their shoulders fell back, and their back straightened. Alright.  Good.  Back to Nothing. As their eyes closed against the sight of tattered gold, a faint sound began. A faint flutter of air here. A flutter of air there-  Eyes wrenching open and glancing over their shoulder (A cold pit in their empty stomach), a Pile of golden flowers had grown! Petals fluttered uselessly in the air, and the flowers gently tumbled as though a handful had just been tossed ontop. A strange palpitation in their heart- fear- as the cold grip settled in their chest. Despite the endless moment they’d been sitting cross legged, the stringly legs managed to un-wind themselves, lightly ‘papping’ against the sleek non-existant surface, hands and arms flailing to stead up-right. Where.. where had all these flowers Come from? Had they not been warded away with the destruction of the first that had appeared? “Be-gone!” Their voice shook and croaked “This is no place for Something!” A dry shout as they wobbled, disoriented at the rush of being up-right.   Those single petals in their raining mass continued to drift down at varying rates, a slow-motion rainfall as the flowers petals (incredibly lightly) moved in light of nonexistent air. They heaved as though they’d run miles, staring at the arm-full pile of marigolds. Was…was it this Spot? Maybe that was it-  maybe they’d sat here too long!  Maybe, after such a long moment of steady meditative being, simply breathing and gazing into the plane of nothing, that Something had to show! It must be time to find somewhere else to meditate, that was all. “Alright, this spot is yours,” His dry voice cracked, but spoke humbly “I ask forgiveness at the destruction of your first brethren,  and wish you well,” A careful calsp of hands, a bow, before they turned and began to walk away.  Yes, this was it;  simply a change (just like that Pit) that meant a new place to sit. Pap, pap, pap

Of dry skin against the plane of white, they began feeling content again. Pap, pap, pap- wonderfully rhythmic! A little bit of something like this noise wasn’t too terrible,  it was almost like their breathing. Ah! And no sooner had they thought about it than they came to a stop, a fair distance from where they’d been sitting. While closer to that smudge where the pit lay, it was without a doubt, more Nothing than where they’d sat before. “This will be fine,” They mumbled, heaving a breath as they gingerly sat down to the floor. The surface was cold;  un-touched, it would take some time until this spot of Nothing had enough warmth to be comfortable. That was alright though, they’d rather wait here than go back to where Nothing had become Something. A flicker. A petal drifted in front of them. Their eyes widened and their lips pulled taught, watching fearfully as it drifted by, a cold dread gently clasping their chest. ‘Oh, no,’ They glanced around- petals and flowers, a trail of them! All scattered from where they’d walked, and they bloomed and floated down in and around their peripheral. “No!” Voice squeaking rather than screaming, they scrambled to stand up again in a tangle of limbs. “Be gone! Wretched something- I left you my space!” They back pedaled, stumbling backwards;  another, smaller pile had formed and more petals twirled in the gasp of empty air they’d left. “No!” Croaking again “Be gone, I say!” They took off, a stumble turning into a gangly run, panting on the empty air. x What is time, to Nothing? farther, farther still! The mind chanted, gasping and choking as the run turned into a tumbling shamble, awkwardly coming to a quaking stop.  How long had they’d run? It wouldn’t matter so long as the Something had stayed behind-  God, they hoped so. It felt like the entire world around would be swallowed in the soft gold. Gradually, the heaving breathing became easier, and gradually, they stood upright. The Pit;  hardly a few yards away. Gravitating, they took a step, and another, softly stepping over towards it. It’d been ages since they’d last looked own the endless shaft.  Was it still as dark, as bleak, as cold as it had been before? A petal, rifted by, and they lurched backward, stumbling in a confounded daze. It twirled and drifted on, down, down into the pit as they watched. “Go! Yield! Begone!” The hoarse voice tried to roar in tired desperation, swinging a tired fist at the rain fall of golden flowers.  “The rest of your brethren will fall, All into the pit! I swear, no matter how many come! No matter how thick the seas of gold! They’ll fall!” A silence stung the air. One by one, the flowers and their pieces drifted and twirled like heavy rain, into the pit. It was strange, that silence could be like that-  sharp, pained, rather than all-conforming and empty. Something…whispered.  It was an echo, and it floated up. They stood still, bristled, looking on. Eyes darting. What else did Nothing have in store for them? Would it from below? Behind! They turned around sharply, and faced the pit, where another, almost identical to a soft breeze, picked up. A whisper. The softest sound imaginable, drifted up. They gazed down, down into the depths of the abyss. Dropping to their knees, to their hands; gaze boring down. Out of the darkness, Someone- someone, was in the black.  Someone was in a similar place of Nothing. “These are….this is… an incredibly… beautiful flower… and it has… been very empty, and…very cold.. for a long time,” They couldn’t say anything, or do anything, but stare. Stare into nothing. A dark, darker than any conceivable shadow, where the voice that could hardly be any more dense than a feather, lifted by its own sheer lack of density. They felt their mouth open, then close. Gradually, they sat, shoulders slouching, more petals and sparse flowers resting by their hands and feet as the rest fluttered by towards the bleak hole. “thank you…this is….very beautiful.”

piece of heaven - short story-  w.i.p(?) - Her hand circled his chest softly. It was something new that had started the last few torture sessions they shared-  the damned and the soul. Her horns had grown a soft luster, as had her eyes, curled upon his outstreatched arms, tempered eyes watching his face as the dislocated jaw and its bore open hamstrings gradually knit back together. “So…what do you think?”

An unusual, awkward silence hung between them. The distant moans and screams of the tortured were muted as the dense glow of the caverns died down, the nightfall begging a different round of torment for those souls who kept themselves locked behind the heavy iron gates of their own conciousness. It was unusual for silence to extend this long, but then again, their.. gradually growing relationship had its fair share of unusal start-and-stops. From gritty, revolting torture sessions involving barbed wire and screams that turned hoarse, with cruel laughter and unkept weeping to slow, rhythmic exploring hands, running sensually through and under organs with a spined tounge rubbing generously-almost tenderly- through neck tendons and around bone; To say there was love was immediately disowned as a thought, but.. perhaps a genuine affection had taken route over the seemless hours, days, eons of blood, tears, and semen. His shoulders rotated in their cuffs, loosing some tension from the iron bindings along his wrists. He rememberd when he’d been pinned by his skin with rusted iron nails, endless pus and infections rampant as more nails were hammerd in every inch of mobile skin. The steel cuffs he had on now hardley scuffed, and they’d even come loose enough for his hands to slip through, wrapping sore arms and a spent body around the she-devil who hadn’t seen another soul in ages. ”I don’t know,”  He answered simply.

There was a reason he was here. There was always a reason for souls to be kept here, in the in-between. To ask any of the souls wrapped in their own intestines, chewed apart by their own teeth, would agree. This is what they deserved, and what they would repent. His own sins were a shadow of thought, hardly a glimmer of the raging whoreson, screaming demons they’d been when he’d first clawed through the dirt, beleiving he’d been burried alive. His hands had run with blood, bones peeling through the skin, and as he began to choke on dirt and his own vomit and tears, he broke through- to a black and red world, running with lava and blood. ”I mean…I was thinking;” The she devils hand rested warmly on his now healed chest, where not hours ago had been peeled open to reveal intact organs and a smooth ribcage. Not a scar lingered, not then nor now, dulled claws softly dragging their circles. Once, way back, they’d be leaving thick, smoking gauges in random streaks and patterns, the stench and sensation leaving him choking, gagging on his own tears. It felt like it had only happened the other day, yet the memory was fleeting; distant.

“..about you coming with me?” She leant up on a spined elbow, something else that had long since ebbed and grown soft, and with eager eyes looked on with something that he hadn’t seen in ages. ”I know its…I mean, it’s something to think about, but I think if I were to go through with it, I..think it’d be a worthwhile journey, and maybe something you’d want to experience too?”

 He rolled his shoulders again, a heavy breath coming from his chest. Where to start? It felt like a good idea..great, even, but he could feel that familiar fear, ever vigilinte in his mind, starting up in a pace. ”Well for one thing,” He started, carefully avoiding eye contact, rather looking to the side which was void of any visible being. They’d long since moved to a far more private section of hovering lava-rock formations, far from prying eyes and ears of other damned beings.  “I’m still not sure I’ve completely repented, and,”  he hesitated, as her shoulders sagged visibly from the corner of his eye “and I just..I don’t know,” He said again simply, looking at her sympathetically. She looked away and sat up. He followed suit, wrists sliding out of the loose cuffs easily. He didn’t have to rub away any severe markings, and rather gently reached for her hand that had been on his chest, gently clasping it back. ”I think it’s a great idea, and if its something you want to go through with, then I say go for it,” He gave her hand a squeeze, looking on to the soft orange and deep reds that reflected the cavern. Despite the softened moans and screams of the damned, the place could have been mistaken for a paradise, if even for a moment.  “I think..I would. I would really like to try it,” His breath caught as she turned to him, eyes glittering and pointed teeth poking out in a trying-to-hide-it grin “but..I don’t know, I need some time to think about it, ok?” ”Just giving it some thought is more than enough for me.” He smiled, and caught in the moment, leant forward and planted a small kiss on her cheek. Her red skin grew redder and her smile beamed, standing swiftly on sleek cloven hooves as her hands drifted through his hair as he sat. ”Well, I’m going to go over somethings with the head guys. I’ll get back to you in awhile.” She bent and for the first time in a long while, gave him a lingering kiss. It wasn’t something anyone got often, not in the depths of hell, but it was there, and it was several minutes later until he came back to reality to realize she’d left him to the quiet, secluded space, alone with himself, his thoughts, and the soft glowing embers of repenters below.

-

@sixpenceee