aspiedistra - Tumblr blog

aspiedistra · 2 years

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very weird to have not read house of leaves yet even as ive owned a copy for like 3 years..i think it was waiting for me to read it right now

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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Renarin Kholin from the Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson

Steris Harms from the second era Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson

Hey if you are autistic please

Reply with any celebrity, fictional character who’s autistic, orTV series, movies, videogames, etc. That touches the topic, even if it’s in a awful way (like Atypical)

#actuallyautistic #autistic characters #text post tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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Does anyone feel like singing is their way of stimming?

When I’m bored or feel like I need to be stimulated, I just start singing a piece of a song I really like over and over again, just a bit that really calls to me and I just act like a record player on the fritz for 10 minutes. I do this alone, usually when I’m driving to or from school. I really like the feeling of belting out certain notes or channeling the vocals stabilizes me. Anyone else stim like this?

#dear god YEEESSSSSS #and it's A Problem #but it's one of my biggest stims tbh #stimming #singing #about the owl #actuallyautistic #autistic tag #vocal stims

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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personally I generally struggle with being emotional, and I can actually find it difficult sometimes?? It sometimes feels like....Like I’m a champagne bottle that’s been very aggressively shaken up but the cork just won’t pop, and there’s this sense of ‘where is the pop? where is the outpouring of foam? why is there just nothing?’ the sense that something is supposed to be there/be happening, but it just isn’t.

And sometimes it’s definitely like a pressure/need for relief thing, and I’ll watch my SpIns and know they’re getting to Impactful Emotional Moments and will myself to just sink into them and let them happen because I need that moment of screaming, or crying, or flapping so hard I feel like my hands are going to fall off. And for me (and some of the other autistic folks I know) this is a place I can only get to via a fictional connection, that just doesn’t happen generally to me IRL. so yeah. that’s a small snippet of my Emotion Feelings.

So honest question. Do others with autism of any kind have troubles being emotional? Or is it just me? Cause I hate it.

#autistic tag #actuallyautistic #me #about the owl #luca rambles #text post tag #luca adds to things #emotions

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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If you have a suspicion your kid is autistic, you need to follow up.

This was my parents’ mistake. My parents “didn’t think it was a problem” and chose not to get me diagnosed. They weren’t bad parents, but being a good parent to an allistic child is not the same as being a good one to an autistic child.

I have emotional abuse symptoms. I get anxious when I hear footsteps outside my door. My heart rate jumps when I hear garage doors open. My parents were never mean, my parents apologized if they ever snapped at me or said something out of line, my parents spelled out that they loved me constantly.

But my parents forced me to talk when I was nonverbal. My parents left me sitting at the kitchen table for hours in attempt to make me eat foods I couldn’t. My parents scolded me for leaving my own birthday parties to hide in my room because I was overwhelmed. My parents pulled me out of my hyperfocus when I was trying to do homework. My parents didn’t allow me to stim or doodle during things like church or school. My parents got irritated if I wore earplugs or headphones to drown out the noise of our constantly noisy household. My parents once took my bedroom door off its hinges for two days because I kept closing it when they told me not to.

When you’re a parent, and you’re trying your best and you’re doing everything out of all the parenting books, you need to understand that autistic children are not in the parenting books. They play by different rules. And things that might work for allistic children could be permanently damaging for autistics.

If you have a suspicion or a feeling, get your kid diagnosed. Research autism symptoms. Parent them accordingly.

Because if you don’t you could be breaking that relationship completely and not even knowing it.

#mm yes good important #autistic tag #me #text post tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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-Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf, and Percy de Rolo from Critical Role.

-Nesta Archeron from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series

-Lexa, The 100

-Steris Harms and Vin Venture - Mistborn

- Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom - Harry Potter

Fellow Autistic Peeps,

What fictional character(s) do you relate to the most?

#probably lots more but i can't remember them #text post tag #autistic tag #fictional characters #SpIns #i don't recommend acotar #at all #but Nesta was A Gift

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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R u a hand between your thighs pressure stimmer or a hands under your thighs pressure stimmer

#oh both #stimming #me #text post tag #actuallyautistic #autistic tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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“Sadly, girls’ trauma is more likely to be missed than that of boys. In children younger than about 11, boys tend to act out and behave badly if they are unhappy - so their trauma is noticed and (hopefully) addressed.Girls tend to react by becoming “people pleasers”. It’s as if they see trauma as a punishment, and hope that they can avoid it by being “good”. They will talk less, work harder, always be springing up ready to help anyone with anything at the slightest indication they may want it. They watch the emotional states of adults like a hawk and soothe, placate and offer practical help at the slightest sign of anger or displeasure. As this is the kind of behavior encouraged in girls, no one takes any notice until it’s too late.”

— Tool of the Matriarchy (via sonnywortzik)

#welp #if this isn't me #trauma #trauma responses #misogyny #feminism #psychology #sigh #text post tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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Better late than never, we have a new Walkinredinstead April Challenge!

This is for autistic people only!

I took the recommendations from last year and did my best with them (though I did do this very quickly and went on memory)

For me to see them, you can submit them here, tag me @walkinreadinstead, or put it in the tags (#walkinredinstead)

No day is required, you can participate in as manny or as few days as you want!

Under the cut is a vague description of each of the days, though each is open to interpretation - this is just what was in my head about them.

Keep reading

#actuallyautistic #autistic tag #walkinredinstead #autistic positivity

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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A Gas-Lit Life

Growing up autistic often means a life time of gas lighting.

For many of us, for as far back as we can remember, we have been told that what we percieve is wrong.

“That doesn’t hurt!”

“It’s not that loud”

We are forced into clothing that causes us pain with no way to convey this to those who think we’re just obstinate.

We are seen as moody or temperamental for “overreacting” or having “tantrums”

We are told that the sensory pain we experience isn’t happening.

We are told to stop “overreacting” to “small things” (or, worse, “nothing”).

We are pressured by adults to eat foods that make us gag.

As we get older, we are told that our perceptions of the social world are wrong.

“Are you sure that’s what they meant?”

“I didn’t yell. I just spoke sternly”

“Is that really what happened?”

We are told again and again that the ways we percieve interactions are flawed.

We are called liars for being honest because they don’t believe our truths.

Our explanations are “excuses”, our realities, untrustworthy.

When you spend your life being told that what you experience is not real, is it any wonder that so many of us end up with anxiety, depression, ©PTSD, psychosis, dissociation, and difficulty trusting ourselves?

We are gas-lit by society throughout most of our lives. Parents, teachers, classmates, friends, and so many others reinforce the message again and again that we cannot trust our own perceptions.

And, the worst part is how insidious this reality questioning is. It’s so many small comments that bombard us from nearly everyone around us.

So, to all the autists reading this, your experiences are real. The sensations you feel are real.

Trust yourselves and love yourselves

Live boldly

Live radically

Live autisticly

#an important post <3 #actuallyautistic #autistic tag #text post tag #long post #autistic positivity

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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u know when u have a special interest & u just kinda ♥️🔮💋✨💗😍🎉🌈🌹🎉💞✨🍰😍💋🌹🐠🎉💖🍭🐳🎠😍🍭🐠🌈🔮😘💖✨🎠💓

#uh-huh #me #text post tag #actuallyautistic #autistic #spin #special interests

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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“I’m not clumsy, my physics engine is just kinda buggy”

#OH MY GOD #dyspraxia #(i assume)#actuallyautistic #autistic tag #me #SO ME #my poor gf will attest #text post tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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so uh. hey. anyone autistic wondering why their trauma is affecting them so harshly despite thinking it wasn’t as severe as it could’ve been?? here’s your reassurance that you’re not overreacting, your Trauma Bank ™ just runs on overdrive.

#*sounds of dawning comprehension and lightbulbs illuminating*#but also can said trauma go fuck itself bc like #i've got shit to do y'all #i don't need this #actuallyautistic #autistic tag #science #autistic science #text post tag #IDK HOW TO TAG

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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#holy shit this is horrifying #i t hought we'd seen the worst with to siri but oh no apparently n ot #jesus #fuck this hit #i'm done with the NT pity parties. i'm beyond done #picture post tag #ableism #actuallyautistic #autistic tag #this is #so disgusting

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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*puts a hello kitty bandaid over my childhood trauma*

#i mean it might help #at this point i'm willing to try anything #text post tag #trauma #humour #dark humour

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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Genderqueer Autistic and Kickass Amazing

(Anti-kink, radfems, queerphobes, aphobes don’t interact.)

#A Good Post #actuallyautistic #autistic tag #nonbinary tag #picture post tag

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aspiedistra · 6 years

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oh yes. I hate getting new glasses because it always messes me up sensory wise for a few days, depending on how much of a change to the prescription it was. My best advice is to try and keep your head as still as possible (which isn’t always possible, I know) and to avoid sharp/quick head movements.

Did anybody else’s sensory system go through hell while adjusting to glasses for the first time? I’ve been crawly all over today and I can’t think of anything else it might be

#spd #autisticsmolfox #text post tag #lauren adds to things

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