sorry, not an update but more just a fun life coincidence

i love this AU but knew nothing about planes/piloting. however. my boyfriend of a few years now happens to have a pilot license and NOW

1) i know a lot about planes and also 2) I FLEW A PLANE YESTERDAY (well he flew it for the most part and i got to move the controls to make it turn and go up and down a few times)

ten years ago, starting this blog to now uwu. life is weird.

also, love you all. i miss this AU and i miss what SPN was to me. i’m glad this existed and i’m glad for all the memories we had together.

- thimble ❤️

PS i was not the one controlling the plane when i took this photo lmao

oh man i've been dreading that post! but i understand. do you think you could tell us how you imagined things going anyway? i know from your last posts you were sketching out some things. i really want to know how things would have turned out!

HM SOOOO. i was going to answer this privately and just spill what i was planning and then make a post later. but this got a lot more in depth than i thought it would so. i’m publishing it. feel free to send me asks about any of this stuff! i love talking about it, and i love this au - i just literally have no desire to draw it because i suck at comics and at writing long stories :/

SO. SUPER LONG TEXT RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT.

we ended with an impromptu party at dean’s place

charlie was going to show up next, bemoaning some issues she’s been having with her girlfriend, gilda. i really wanted to explore types of relationships and imperfect people (...hard to do in small comic format hahah), so the storyline with charlie/gilda was going to focus on the fact that charlie consistently puts gilda up on a pedestal. she calls her amazing and perfect all the time, but in doing so, charlie often puts herself down as well (like “i don’t know why you like me,” etc etc). gilda would eventually break up with her later on, and charlie and dean would have a long conversation about how relationships have to be about balance - which would tie into dean’s own low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. this obviously wouldn’t happen during impromptu party time but!! it would start to lead that way (i had dialogue semi-planned where charlie moans “women! who needs them, right, dean??” and dean would start to say something and sam would go, “well, dean’s bi. so technically -” which would establish dean’s sexuality in an outright way, which i felt was important? haha

charlie would eventually meet dorothy, who comes to the airport on her motorcycle, all dressed in biker leather. they’d have a healthy relationship that i hadn’t completely planned out yet haha

UMMMM with the impromptu party, cas shows up wanting to give dean his jacket back and they both awkwardly attempt to come up with an excuse for why he would have it but it just makes them look even more suspicious. 

sam makes cas stay and watch a movie with them. they all have a good time, and cas sees dean in his comfort zone and realizes that SHIT he’s definitely in love - or at least dean isn’t just the attractive mechanic, but also a warm and friendly person.

HHHMMMMM i’m not sure exactly what would have happened after specifically but here’s some basic plot lines i’d been planning:

sam and sarah blake go on a date, they talk about what he wants to do with his degree in law and she worries about him letting his dreams go because he doesn’t want to leave dean alone. sam says that it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice and that he has his whole life to pursue what he wants to do, so if it means waiting around a little bit for dean to be healthy and happy, he’d gladly do it. he mentions that he thinks dean is getting there, but also that he would never ever ever want dean to know that he can’t get the exact degree/education that he wants without leaving the island. sarah calls him a sweet kid, and he’s a little shocked - and she’s like “you think i didn’t notice that you had no idea about the bars and legal adult hang out spots?” and laughs, since she knew he wasn’t 21 - she just wanted some company. she kisses him on the cheek at the end of the date, and says that she’d definitely hit him up in a few years and gives him the name of a defense lawyer she knows who could give him some advice.

dean and cas start hanging out more in an effort to basically...work backwards. like to be friends. but they both know they’re attracted to each other so it’s kind of awkward. one night they get really drunk and cas passes out with dean in dean’s bed (nothing happens). in the morning, cas wakes up to dean cooking bacon (again) and is suddenly struck with the “holy crap, i love this guy. i want to be with him” and walks over and kisses him when he turns around to say good morning.

dean is shocked at splashes grease on cas’s arm, ruining the moment

they take care of the injury and dean is very obviously trying to avoid talking about what happened, but cas is adamant. eventually dean breaks and says something along the lines of “you don’t want this cas - you have no idea the things that i’ve done or about what happened over there - you don’t” and cas just like stops him by gently touching his arm, but he’s also glaring, and basically says “as if i’m perfect, or as if i don’t have any demons in my past. whatever it is, i’m willing to work it out.”

and it’s sappy as all get out, but they basically decide to actually try the “dating thing”

OF COURSE then their pasts start actually coming back to haunt them - first lisa visits the island and cas learns that dean was once engaged. this storyline would reveal that lisa was completely willing to stay with dean and to work it out but that he had already made the decision that she didn’t want to deal with his PTSD and that she’d be better off without him. she’s not still hung up on him, but she definitely cares a great deal for him. considering that she thought he was dead, she had a lapse in judgement for a few months and slept with a guy who wasn’t good for her. she got pregnant and kept the baby, but left the guy, so when dean comes home she’s very up front with him about the entire situation. dean tries to make it work for a bit, but he drinks a lot and lisa has to pick him up from random alleys more than once, and even has to bail him out of jail, and dean starts to feel worthless and like he doesn’t deserve her. when lisa is getting ready to have ben she tells dean that she wants to move back home to be close to her family and that she wants him to come with her. he refuses and they end their relationship. she tries to call him almost every day to check up on him, but he ignores her calls. she and sam have a decent relationship, though, and remain in contact and she continues to express concern and care for dean. when she visits the island they finally reconnect and patch things up. 

cas gets jealous when he hears of their relationship and when he sees them together, and is kind of a butthead while she’s there. benny finally pulls him aside, explaining the situation, but also telling him that jealousy doesn’t indicate that cas loves dean - but is actually very selfish, and just shows a lack of trust. the primary reason for this whole thing has to do with the number of people who sent me asks wanting to see instances where cas or dean would get jealous of the other and that’s literally one of my least favorite things that happens in fic that’s always painted as ROMANTIC. because people are flawed, i do think jealousy happens, but i don’t think it should be romanticized or treated as a “sexy” indication or an indication of powerful love. same thing with possessiveness. i wanted dean and cas to have all their negative qualities they have in the show, but for them to be called out for it basically.

uUUUUMMMMMMMM

the only other thing i had planned was that john winchester would show up at one point, and i was basically going to directly reference the episode of “wings” where their mother shows up. dean would do everything he could to accept their father back, trying to make everything feel like it was perfect and normal and great - sam wouldn’t have any of it, and would eventually break down, getting angry at john because of how his leaving affected them so badly. sam tells john, eventually, that he’s willing to be polite and work to mend some kind of relationship, but that john is not his father - bobby and dean are. they learn about adam and john’s new wife but don’t meet them. john leaves with the promise of not dropping contact with them again, but of course drops off the face of the earth again instead. dean is very hurt by this situation, because he just wants to tape their broken family back together, but sam and benny help him through and remind him that family doesn’t end with blood. 

UHHHHHHH i had kind of planned out a storyline where lilith comes back to try to get ruby back - basically tries to convince ruby that she still loves her and that they can work things out. ruby falls for it, because she really did love lilith, but it turns out that lilith was just using her to frame her from something drug related IDK - bobby and dean end up sticking up for ruby and pin everything back on lilith. ruby is hurt by all this, but expresses it by getting mad at bobby for sticking his nose in her business. rather than hold it over her, though, bobby shows uncharacteristic kindness by saying something sweet IDK.

i’d also had an idea for a holiday situation where cas has to go to visit his extended family and dean offers to go with him. either they’re dating at this point or they just go as friends, but if they go as friends the entire family assumes they’re dating anyway. this would have introduced naomi, along with hannah and gadreel, who are twins. kali and gabe’s relationship would also be explored in this section, to some extent.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s it i think. as i’ve said in the past, i had no concrete storyline starting out hahaha, just general ideas. i also would have liked to go into benny’s past a lot more, as well as develop the friendship between him and dean even further, and introduce cain and the biker bar. alas. 

i got really frustrated with comics because i can’t draw them quickly and they take a lot of effort but i also wanted to get really in depth so i couldn’t just do quick doodles - and then i’m also horrible at writing long stories so that much was out. it was a noble effort at the beginning but definitely too ambitious hahahah

TL;DR: no longer updating

OKAY SO.

i’ve been avoiding making this post because 

a) i really do love this au and b) i don’t want to let anyone down

but. this blog will no longer be updated. i had hoped that, despite not being too interested in the show (ie not actively watching) but still loving the characters, that i could still bring myself to keep drawing for this.

however, recent events in the show have made me entirely uninterested in creating anything else for it. i love the characters still, but what i love about them is now so far removed from how they are in the show currently that i don’t even feel like i’m writing the same people. rather than inventing scenarios, personalities, and representation that i know will never be in spn, ever, i’m choosing to focus my creativity on original stuff and fandoms that are already inclusive.

i would actually still be up to talk about this AU with anyone who does love it and still has an interest in it, because, like i said, i adore this AU and i love my headcanons for the characters - i just have no desire to draw comics or to draw deancas or anything else from spn :/

if you are interested in that, you can either message me on here or add me on skype at thimbletown and just lemme know who you are.

in conclusion, love you guys, thanks for the love for this AU and for indulging me - i’m incredibly sorry that i can’t keep up with it, but i’ll still leave everything up so people can still see it. if you want to use my AU or continue it or whatever, feel free to do so.

PSA!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry for lack of updates even though like three weeks ago i said i would update OOPS

i could try to come up with an excuse that's not "i've literally only been playing dragon age inquisition" but that would 1) be a lie and 2) i actually don't feel too bad about only doing that because this is the first time in my life that my free time has actually been...free time (as in, no homework, no projects, no immediate need to work on my portfolio)

the thing is, this blog is very much for fun and i actually do have a full time job as an artist so when i get home i rarely have an immediate want to draw (once i do, i enjoy it but yeah). i do have the next few panels sketched out, plus a plan on where i'm going - but most of the art i do for fun is very sketchy and dumb and drawing comics takes more effort a lot of the time.

basically, i've never intended to update this thing like someone would update a web comic. like...this thing is super self indulgent and i could lose all my followers and i'd still update because i love it so don't worry about it...stopping or anything

this weekend will also be the first time in awhile that i haven't had someone over or been out of town SO. it's much more likely that i'll actually be inclined to work on this and hopefully update.

LOVE YOU GUYS

ugh okay update is being sketched out but i got super distracted tonight so i probably wont actually finish it till tomorrow sorryyyy

but for now hav e things i've thought about for back story

(aaaugh this au has evolved to a point that all the old stuff seems super inconsistent so just...be mindful of that when it comes to this thing. i started off thinking it would just be a fun thing but now it's kind of become a whole new beast so ah)

okay some stuff from all over the place sorry mobile users

hannah and gadreel are brother and sister (maybe? this could change, but i feel like they kind of act similar). naomi is their mother, metatron is their father. naomi left him after hannah was born. hannah and gadreel are super serious and formal, but generally nice people (idk guys everyone is awesome in this au except john winchester and metatron) (also a previous comic had "Ezekiel" as sam's hermit roommate, but that was before gadreel was revealed and was mostly a joke so ignore that)

tessa was sam's grief counselor back when they thought that dean was actually dead (about a three/four month period). she's also dean's counselor that he's supposed to see once a month. that hasn't come into play at all, which sucks, but the thought popped in my head (i was doing an spn rewatch haha) and it's too perfect to me to not include in some way so...since this is actually becoming more story-oriented, that might actually happen?

gordon walker was one of dean's fellow squad mates, and he's eventually gonna show up (maybe), and that'll cause some tension, because gordon only knows dean from "before"

dumb stuff

thanks to the 200th, sam's probably gonna take a theater class soon because dumb theater nerd sam is too cute

dean plays guitar and has a guitar in his room, but he hates playing in front of people

dean and charlie live in the same apartment building. it's one of those apartments that has inner hallways too (i realize this might be common? but every apartment i've ever lived in has front doors that open to the outside so), so she's pretty much down the hall and around the corner. dean doesn't understand why they always have to go to her apartment to hang out, but she does have better internet

dean's characterization in this (esp. at the beginning) is SOO much how i pictured him this is so lovely aahhhh

and cas's indignation at dean "ignoring" him is so perfect

i am in love (also...i might...steal sam's camera thing. that was so perfect)

please excuse the fact that this hasn’t been updated in almost a month haha

also pardon the style changing. depending on my mood and probably how important the scene is, i may or may not color? it just takes a lot longerrrrrrr

looks like it's a party at dean's apartment! 

words words words

auuugh i was gonna update this tonight but then life happened sorry guys ;;;;

i am doing a mini-break-from-story-comic for halloween (it'll be dumb and fluffy and be part of the overall story only in that it illustrates how life is at the aiport/balthazar's crazy large house) and it'll only be like one or two posts

so look forward to that, along with storyline stuff

sorry sorry sorry uaaaau

precious babes

'nother non update sorry guys!

was gonna edit it to make hannah be the sister of cas and everyone, but decided to make her their cousin? her parents are naomi and metatron (name...tbd?), but naomi kicked him to the curb pretty quickly after hannah was born.

hannah is more stiff and formal than cas, and especially gabe (she got along with michael alright), but their families were overall close (cas's mom, naomi's sister in law, babysat quite a bit)

still working it out, but it'll eventually be part of a storyline where dean offers to accompany cas to a family event because gabriel is dumb and is dating kali again so cas'll be the "still single and almost thirty" brother and naomi will zero in on him for dating her weird coworkers' children.

like just imagine everything that's ever happened in a sitcom and it'll probably eventually happen in this au if i have my way.

I just want to say I'm really glad you've been updating again because this is a wonderful story and your art is beautiful! I know you probably won't publish this but I just wanted you to know you're amazing and I appreciate your work! Thank you so much

haha well just because you said that, i'm gonna publish this! (haha just kidding)

thank you so much, i'm really glad you're enjoying the blog and enjoying the story (:

though, really, the reason i'm actually publishing this is to let you all know that if you send something on anon, i DO see it and i do read it and i do love it! i just hate publishing asks? haha. unless it's a question, i feel weird just publishing asks that are compliments? i worry over cluttering up my blog and my follower's dashboards.

so just so you know! thanks for all the love guys

some stuff about dean and benny in this au

feel like i should maybe make a psa about them? just in case? hahahaha

basically, going forward they have a very platonic, intimately physical? relationship that’s not necessarily romantic or sexual. like there’s lots of physical touch and comforting involved, but yeaahhhh (this has been evident since early posts though, since dean kind of just like…sprawls across benny sometimes). and like in my head it’s kind of romantic but it’s also not like how dean/cas is going to be (which will, eventually, one day, be outwardly romantic)? it’s two very different types of relationships and friendships that are developing and i’m having a lot of fun with it.

like if you know me at this point at all (ie follow my art blog or my tragically unupdated nsfw blog), you know i’m a multishipper or whatever (i legitimately enjoy every single spn ship pretty much). and the temptation to make this au feature my ot3 (dean/cas/benny) is incredibly strong?

but. i also like the idea of dean/benny’s relationship as it is now, and i also know that a lot of people started becoming invested in this blog as a dean/cas au. and i realize it’s my au and i can technically do whatever i want, but i kind of already am? hahahaha. like, any time i imagine a scenario between dean and benny it’s very intimate anyway?

so yeah just, if you were worried about that happening and you hate that pairing don’t worry. you’ll probably have to put up with a lot of subtext that can be interpreted as romantic, but it’s technically not? and i also don’t do that with the intention of baiting people who DO want that to happen which is why i’m making this post?

this ALSO means, however, that there will, thankfully, be no like…love triangle or jealousy thing (like i think at this point, cas might get jealous because he misinterprets the relationship? i also do not like jealousy being perceived as a romantic notion, BUT THAT WILL COME UP because jealousy is a very human flaw and cas isn’t perfect so) 

also the office next door is remodelling so our entire office smells like turpentine and i have a headache and modelling a character is just making it worse so. text post.

OKAY DONE sorry guys, hopefully update tonight

benny knows the best way to solve a sad situation

trick dean into cooking

AHHHH look at this cutie pilot!! omg this is adorable i don't mind at all ;;

They say that immitation is the sincerest form of flattery right? Cas from thimblings AU askparadiseair I just really needed some inspiration and to draw something. I hope she doesn’t mind…