Aroace here. I think ppl get too pressed over things that don’t matter. Like I think the community should be talking about the discrimination we face in life and in the queer community but people start screaming about fictional characters.

At the minute it’s a huge thing with Alastor from HH. I’m aroace. I multiship alastor with at least 5 different characters. I don’t need anyone to get offended for me when people write him as allo or even somewhere on the aro spectrum where he can occasionally feel romantic love. Same with ace. I don’t mind reading or writing or seeing or drawing art with alastor being NSFW. Because he’s a CARTOON. I think people need to get over themselves and the shipping culture of fandoms because it doesn’t change the fact the canon character is a representation of aroace people. No matter if the fandom ship him it won’t change the fact the character is aroace . We have more important community issues and when ppl get upset about this I assume they’re just chronically online.

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how do i explain to a good friend that i don’t want to date them because im asexual (when i know that most people don’t know what asexuality is)?

like i feel like just saying no im gay is sort of lying (bc im aro ace), but just being like “no i dont date” sounds like im trying to get out of dating them, and idk i feel like it would be so awkward if someone asked you out and ur like “no and now im going to give u a lecture on aspec identities”, so idk what i would do in that situation

this hasn’t happened but i’m kinda worried it will and idk how to handle it, especially as a generally awkward person

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i feel like im aroace, ive never felt any attraction but im nervous about identifying and assuming too early and also i donr even know if this is the right blog to say this

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I have a poll that I'm curious about, you can include the context or not

I've identified as asexual since I knew what the term meant (13-14 y/o), but I didn't realize till I was sixteen that it wasn't "normal" to have zero libido. I'm an adult now- and I've never experienced arousal, that specific kind of pleasure, or an orgasm. but I was also diagnosed as intersex a while back, with a common side effect of my specific condition being a low libido. I also know aces with similar experiences to mine without additional factors complicating their libidos, which makes me curious...

aspec people are free to vote as the ace option, ily besties on the spectrum <3

1) I'm asexual with very little/no libido and I think it's 100% my sexuality

2) I'm asexual with very little/no libido and I think it's influenced by something else specific

3) I'm asexual with very little/no libido and I might have something else influencing it (undiagnosed/unsure)

4) I'm asexual with very little/no libido and I have different thoughts about it

5) I'm asexual with a libido

6) I'm not asexual

one thing that people don’t know is…

s3x doesn’t please me.

give me garlic bread and put on danger force. that is real pleasure.

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im sorry if this makes you uncomfortable or is tmi but i am sex repulsed ace, yet have high libido. idk if that's actually what it's called but i get horny a lot and it always makes me feel gross. is there a way to turn it off :(

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shoutout to michael from the good place for being a fanciful powerful silly childish demon character in the body of an untumblrsexifiable goofy old man. shoutout to him and janet for at every turn implying the concept of a potential love interest would be ridiculous and even unthinkable. shoutout to making up the concept of soulmates as a torture method because you think it’s stupid. shoutout to “kissing is disgusting, you’re just mashing your food holes together. that’s not what they’re for.” shoutout to forgiving the evil in your nature only to realize there is no evil or nature and your change is your own. shoutout to “the reason is friends.” shoutout to all the “humans are horny overcomplicated flesh puppets” characters that longed so desperately for that flesh and those complications, and shoutout to the one that made it. shoutout to the honorary human that could.

i think peoples faces are beautiful. I think the way people laugh is beautiful. I love their outfits and their smiles. And I think I'm gray ace, but does this count as sexual attraction? am I faking it? idk, but I can see myself having sex at some point. I'm too young rn, but I might want to at some point. I just don't think I feel sexual attraction. and I don't know if I'm faking it or not.

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send us an ask!

Edit: choose the third option for " I don't like them but I make them"

send us an ask!

Edit: choose the third option for " I don't like them but I make them"

there not enough discourse around being ace and preferring not to talk about seggsual content even in clean situations. some of my friends (who are even a part of the aroace community) don’t understand this.

(sorry this is probably going to turn into a rant)

last week my aro friend and i were discussing sex and i used relatively clean or minimally detailed terms to talk about it because that’s just what i prefer but they straight up said something along the lines of “why are you acting like a 12 year old” (we’re both adults).

they know i’m ace. but that doesn’t seem to be reason enough for me to prefer not using explicit terms/language??

i feel like there’s a lot of talk about aces who may also have sex or aces who make sex jokes.

what about the aces who prefer to not think or talk about sex because it makes them uncomfortable?

tbh i think there should be more discourse around it.

why am i being compared to a child under the guise of “it’s normal to talk about sex as an adult”

i’m just mad that this kind of stuff is still going on today, even among people who claim to be educated on aroace identities.

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I want to actually reply to this one, as an asexual who's friends thought they were so oblivious as to have never seen what a penis looked like. As in. Never even saw a picture. ALL of our friends are virgins, not a bad thing, and I was the one singled out. Because I was vocally uncomfortable talking about sex. So you know what I did? Complete 180, everything is a sex joke, everything is phallic. Because I was SO tired of being singled out. A lot of asexual people are adults, some who have had sex, a large amount who have consumed sexual content in some way (in movies, on TV, through fandom, through books) and even if we choose not to, we should NOT be treated as innocent children for it!!! We should not be CALLED children for it!!!! It's. Excuse my language, it's fucking disconcerting!! You have to have so much cognitive dissonance to speak to me the way I speak to the eight year olds in my classes.

It's so incredibly wild that an aromantic said that to you too, that's not okay. They of all people should have enough exposure to the ace community, and the aroace community, to understand why that is such a fucking stupid thing to say. Sorry. I'm so ANGRY about it!!!! I'm so angry about arospecs and acespecs being socially engineered to think like this too! I'm so angry about how people treat us, even the ones we love or respect! We are not kids! Not having sex doesn't make you a child! Not having a relationship doesn't make you a child! Neither of these traits should define your humanity or your adulthood and if they do that's a problem, even in allo people!!! Can the world stop being so fucking stupid about reproduction!!!! Holy shit!!!!!!

so glad i found this blog as an aroace lesbian muslim who would get kicked out plus worse if anyone ever found out and can only be happily out online because of the risks and is forever scared of her siblings finding her account because she's in a niche fandom that they also enjoy 💔

anyway i love this place

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abdisjdjdjshhs a while ago I was trying so hard to like guys and be in a relationship with one

I kept talking to guys but then they were horrible or I realized they wanted more that I didn’t want

it was just so ahitty feeling like I thought there was something wrong with me

Like a key that just did not fit with the lock it was just not right and I was not fitting into who these guys wanted me to be

it took me SO LONG to realize I actually wasn’t attracted to them. At all. Definitely not sexually

anyways I’m so grateful for tumblr bc otherwise I’d never have known about a sexuality or found the other aspec people here 💕

Love yourselves dearly and remember that you are perfect and don’t have to change for other peoples standards 😘

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asexual (and aromantic) forever confused about how attraction actually works

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aroace and im “romantically” involved with someone. broke up a year ago and had a whole character arc about accepting my aromanticism, but we got back together recently. i feel really deeply for them, but i can’t reciprocate the love they have for me, and it gets more draining every day having to manufacture romantic affection when i just don’t feel that way toward them. they know im aroacespec but communicating the extent to it to them is difficult because of just how much they love me. it’s overwhelming. i want to separate again, with finality this time, but i care for them too much to hurt their feelings. kind of screwed Lol.

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omfg im so glad i found this blog i need to vent (sorry in advance if this is kinda negative)

Im south asian and in my late twenties which is the age when every single south asian elder person whom i meet asks about my love life and then gives unsolicited advice about it

This lady came to our house to chat with my mom and within the first 5 minutes of meeting me shes asking 'are you dating someone? Are you on the apps? Are you meeting people at the club? You should meet people to figure out your sexual compatibility with them. If you dont meet someone soon all the good people will be gone. You should not try to be a spinster forever you will regret it.'

Maybe im just too ace but are these normal questions to ask allo people???. Is this just how people talk? All it did was annoy and kinda upset me like theres more to me than a relationship.

I dont want to have sex and i dont want a relationship and its really frustrating that almost no one understands that. I feel so uncomfortable and othered in conversations like that as a result. I even asserted that I don't mind being single for the rest of my life and i was dismissed like I don't know what im talking about its just really frustrating.

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I'm aroace (and completely uninterested in being in a relationship/have never been in a relationship) and a friend just told me I'm their favorite person to get relationship advice from because my "outside perspective makes me objective" and I can't get over it.

Like it's funny, true, and confusing askldfjasl

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