the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.
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-Donte Collins, from Calling the Boy Home
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on my way to home~
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Cielo Cinema Cafe
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Muse
Vacant eyes, these swinging highs,
Three finsihed cigarettes, an overflowing desk-
The stage is set.
Your tender gaze comes with some exertion.
Kisses smudged on cigarettes butts, you are playing your part well.
Vacant eyes, swollen thighs,
Would this be enough to keep this alive?
2 am- tired, distant, this act of love.
There it is, your tender gaze.
Vacant eyes; you fear you have lost your muse.
It comes to you in a dream;
Half awake, you scribble.
You understand the words,
just not what they mean together.
You understand me,
just not what it means to be together.
-aria
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Worked on my midterm paper in an interesting cafe. It was architecture-themed🤍
The latte was so good! It was just the right amount of milky.
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Words & Scratches
Words and scratches,
you left deep crevices on the pages of the yellow notebook.
It would remind me of a girl that loved too deeply.
She didn't know when to stop watering her little pots on the window sill.
Words and scratches,
you ache so deep; these crevices give you away.
Was it the angry man that followed you everywhere? Or another whose fingers itched to be inside you? Or the lover who was deaf to your no?
Words and scratches,
you have left them hurting too.
this indecision, this constant running,
you leave crevices inside people too.
~aria
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rainy day~
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after my interview yesterday, I went to the bookstore as a treat to myself.
felt like I was where I belonged ♡
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Note to self
Sometimes life will be cruel. But it's all a lesson.
Sometimes life will seem cruel. It's because you have yet to learn. You were too guarded.
You will try to complain and to put a name to that hurt, you might call life unfair.
It is not so.
We are only passing through. We are only passing through
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Bowing down and asking for redemption doesn't work.
You're forgetting the scratches on your knees. The scars from the last time you begged and cried.
There was no one to hear then. There is no one to hear now.
The only thing that's changed is the room.
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I carry you with a certain desperation in my dreams.
The kind I am unaware is latched on to me in my waking hours.
When you finally reached for me, my starvation for your embrace would put me to shame in those hours.
But not in the dreams.
What took you so long? Engulf me for an answer.
This desperation would rip me apart, were I awake.
Better for it to be manifested in the dark.
~by aria.
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Chai and conversations
Went to a really good chai place in 성수동 (seongsu-dong). It was authentic not just in it's taste but also in the vibe. I was so happy to see the same ceiling fan we have in India. Not just that, the containers to store tea and spices were also very South Asian! It made me so nostalgic. The summer evening was pleasant and after a long waiting, we could get the best seats!
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