universeofdestiny-blog - Tumblr blog

universeofdestiny-blog · 5 years

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I will not tell you who I am

Instead, I’ll tell you who I’m not.

Let’s get one thing straight — I hate introductions.

I believe they’re pointless. This belief stems from the undeniable fact that when two strangers are walking down the street, nine times outta ten neither of them are ever actually going to care about the other.

So then why; I wonder; Why does this change the second we come across a stranger online? Why is it that we find ourselves then looking through their public photos and reading their 300 character biographies consisting of quotes that were copy-pasted from google with the thought “yeah, this fits the aesthetic.”

Why do we do this? The answer is simple, and widely known already. We’re all a bunch of nosy people when we’re hiding behind a computer screen. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. Which leads me to my second reasoning behind hating introductions — you already know everything.

Let’s say however, for humors sake, — that you don’t know everything. In that case, I could tell you that my name is Destiny Lewis. I could tell you that I’m a 20 year old Aquarius. I could tell you that I’m a dog-mom and a cat-mom. I could tell you that I live on the beautiful west coast of Canada. I could tell you that I have a personality disorder. I could tell you all about my passions for writing, psychology, tea, dogs, watching Netflix, sleeping, outdoor adventures, and getting into stupid situations with my other 20 year old friends. Like the time we went out on the back roads in my best friends Jeep Wrangler and climbed a mountain that was covered in ice in the middle of December. We obviously got stuck and damn near died, but hey — we were 18 at the time.

Sure, I could tell you all these things — but I won’t. All these things are who I am.

Which — lets face it — you really don’t care much about, do you? It’s boring. Everyone tells you who they are. Instead, let me relieve you by telling you who I’m not.

I’m not special, but my friends think the world of me. I’m not a psychologist, but I love reading about the wonders of the human subconscious and behavior. I’m not a university or even a college student, but I graduated high school with honors and I know damn well I can get into any school I want. Eventually.

I’m not ruled by my personality disorder (anymore). I’m not suicidal (anymore). I don’t self-harm (anymore). Although I know that recovery comes with relapse, and I’m equipped to deal with it. I know that I probably won’t change the world and I know that I probably won’t be remembered by the masses either — but I’ll be damned if I don’t make a difference in someone’s life.

I’m not neat, I’m not tidy or organized, and my room is a constant state of disaster along with my “trusty” Dodge Caravan. However my journal is organized like a pro and if I ever want to, I can clean anything until it looks brand new.

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, or who I want to be with. I don’t know why that boy I’m into hasn’t texted me back, but I’m not clingy. I don’t know why my friends are all hanging out without me, but I’m not codependent.

I’m not 10, 12, 16, or 18 years old anymore, but I know I’m not really an adult. I’m not invincible, but I’ll bloody well act like I am. I’m not strong, but I’ll bloody well act like I’m that, too. I’m not parental material, but I know my furbabies will still get me a gift on Mother’s Day.

I’m not religious, but I follow the guidance of the Universe. My Universe.

My name is Destiny, and I am a god.

With that statement, I guess I failed at telling you who I’m not.

Perhaps introductions aren’t so bad after all.

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