sometimes it's hard for me to remember that behind all the avatars, posts, videos, music, everything online, behind all of that stand people, regular people i could meet in the subway or in the park... and with character ai, v-tubers, voice changers, abstract fucking word choice all being a thing, the line in my mind between real and fictional is even more blurry... i even start to feel, like i don't mean it, when i wish someone good luck, or when i say that they're valid and loved... my intent is to make people feel that way, to feel happier, but with all this anonymity and hiding behind characters... caricatures of ourselves... i start to question myself... am i really a good person, or just someone who says good things for just another dose of dopamine? even now... did i write this because i had to get it off my chest, or do i just want people to say nice things to me?... who am i to myself? to others?... what am i?...
If any of my friends comes out as transmasc, i without any hold back, start buying T, so they won't struggle with this fuckery, it's not even legal being trans here, so it's a double "fuck you" to the system. And to all closeted, eggs, or open, you are who you are, don't let anyone say otherwise, even those intrusive thoughts, you're valid and loved, even if you don't see it yet. It's not only to trans, or any other kind of queer people, you're all wonderful and capable of great things, even if i can't support you financially or, sometimes even mentally, because I don't have the words, or knowledge of full picture, i still want you to feel supported and valued... Keep going, no matter how hard it gets, take breaks, slow down, run fast, doesn't matter, just don't give up on your life! You matter, no matter who you are! Pun intended...
I went on a fucking supporting tangent again, didn't i?...
Well, you really are all those things, so fuck you, you deserve support!
hey, I know these are just words on your screen, but I really want you to know that everything is going to be okay. life is weird, brains are weird, and it seems like everything is just overwhelming. all the time.
no matter how hectic things get around you, I know that you'll be okay. things will get easier, and all of these things stressing you out will be so much easier to manage as time goes on. you're capable of pushing through any hurdles you might face because I know you've already made it to the point you are at today, and even though everyone acts like living day to day is easy, I know that it's incredibly difficult to do.
take things easy, you are loved, and everything is going to be all right