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theelvenhaven · 9 days

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11 Months

Trigger Warning Ahead:

Mental Health Related

11 months Self Harm Clean 🫶🏻✨

11 months Attempt Free 🫶🏻✨

11 months Ideation Free 🫶🏻✨

11 months without the Crisis Hotline 🫶🏻✨

11 months of feeling like a total stranger in my own head- not knowing who I am anymore and having to find myself all over again.

But I’m here to do it. 🫶🏻✨

I’m breathing, taking medication, enjoying foods, outside, decorating my home, talking to the few friends I have, having a better bond with my sisters. For having my loving husband of 10 years this year. For having 2 loving and crazy babies. 🫶🏻✨

Here’s a bit of a glimpse of all I’d have missed this year if I went through with it:

#personal #tw mental health #mental health #4 months into the year #sh clean #attempt free #me #my face

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theelvenhaven · 1 month

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How are things going over there? Better I hope?

03.21.2024

They are and they aren’t if you know what I mean.

Like emotionally I’m stable, but like at the same time- ever since I went through my hospitalization in May.. I still don’t feel like myself at all.

I have no love, excitement, or passion for a lot if not most of my hobbies. It’s a very strange place to be mentally.

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theelvenhaven · 3 months

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A Tolkien/Silmarillion Reference in Baldurs Gate 3!!!

Looks like someone didn’t survive the end of time 🫡😜

May he rest in peace 😅

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #melkor #morgoth #Tolkien #jrr tolkien #jirt #the silm #the silmarillion

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theelvenhaven · 3 months

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Will you ever resume rp in the fandom or it it not much to a hobby anymore?

I would very much like too. I really would, I want to resume writing and rping. I’ve rp’ed very minimally and it was like 2 or 3 replies to someone for the Witcher.

But since my breakdown and mental hospitalization in May.. I just.. don’t have that same drive anymore. I still talk about Tolkien all the time, and read his works when I have the energy.

But between the friendship breakup with Saviorsong and the massive break in my mental health I just don’t have the drive.

I haven’t drawn since May, I haven’t written a story since May, I haven’t written headcanons, I haven’t written anything outside the fandom that I have enjoyed, I have just NOW started playing video games again.

I would like for everything to return how it was, but in all honesty? I think it’s going to take some time, the mental toll the hospitalization had taken on me, was a lot.

The friendship breakup was painful too, and as a result.. I am afraid to be active again in the community, and make new friends and meet new readers.. So I just.. need some time that’s for certain.

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theelvenhaven · 3 months

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So glad you and your kids only have minor injuries! I had my first wreck last year which was very similar except they t-boned me when I had the right of way. Insurance is a headache and a drawn out process, but it's all manageable - just read carefully before you sign anything! The other driver's insurance tried to get me to sign a waiver saying that the money for a rental car was all the damages I would receive before any assessments had even been done.

Don't know how shaken you are by the experience, but what a lady told me after my accident was: it's okay to feel a little nervous when you're driving for the next few days/weeks, what matters is that you do it.

Ugh I am SO sorry you got in a wreck last year. That’s awful. They are TERRIFYING. I like NEVER want to do that ever again.

Anxiety said as soon as airbags deployed I just started screaming- which scared my poor daughter 😭 my son was like “what happened mom?”

And then the other parent came over and opened my door- he was a blessing seriously.

I knew as soon as they pulled out I was SOL as I hit the break. If they had hit the gas I think it would’ve been WAY more minor. But they saw me and STOPPED in the middle of the road.

But yes! My husband is helping me with the insurance things and reading over EVERYTHING. I have to give my statement to my insurance tomorrow.

But sound advice all the way around! And maybe someone else who may need it can also see this in case they don’t have any help!

And yeah I straight up told my husband I’m not going anywhere the next couple days. The hospital gave the kids excuses to stay out for the rest of the week. So I’m just gonna be at home with them.

I live down the street from my parents and my grandmother, and my favorite aunt moved back to town. So if I need anything I’ve got options. Fortunately.

Just glad we walked away with minor injuries. We were very fortunate, idk what God/Gods whatever was watching over us, but I’m glad they were.

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theelvenhaven · 3 months

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Welp sometimes life goes a little too good sometimes and our ancestors who crossed bred citrus to create a lemon pelts you with one on occasion:

Got in my first ever wreck today on the way taking the kids to school.

Car looks bad, but man to Volkswagens hold up to their safety standards y’all!

Kids are okay! My son has a little bruising from his seatbelt and and my daughter has a tiny scratch from debris.

I took the brunt of the force since I t-boned them with the front of my car. I had the right of way when the pulled out and suddenly stopped right as I came under the green light and I hit their drivers side.

Ground was too wet for me to gain any traction.

And THANKFULLY their kid was on the passenger backseat side.

An AMAZING dad stopped and helped me and the kids, my iPhone sensed I had been in a wreck and immediately called 911 and my husband and mom.

Went to the ER and got checked out-

Nothings broken, no internal bleeding, no severe injuries.

I do have a sprained ankle, and some scrapes, my hands are sore and my seatbelt hurt my abdomen. But hey we all about car safety- all airbags deployed, everyone had their seatbelt on and the kids were in a booster!

No shattered glass, no jaws of life, we’re so lucky.

We have car insurance and the dad who witnessed the wreck was able to corroborate I had the right of way when the wreck happened.

So here’s to thanking the Gods who were watching over the kids and I, a safe car, and that we walked away with bruises and scratches! 🥂

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theelvenhaven · 4 months

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What were you go-to writing songs?

Soooooo I actually used to listen to horror stories while writing romance 💀

But a lot of Spiritbox, Dayseeker, Sleep Token, Halsey, Bad Omens, The Word Alive, Nerv. And my personal favorite would be the Thedas Love Theme from Dragon Age Inquisition.

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theelvenhaven · 4 months

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Eh not really a request but I just found your blog and now I'm on a mission to read the silmarillion just so I can read your writing hahah! You seem very well spoken and cool and can't wait to read more of your writing!

Also, that new year fit looks stunning on you! I love lehengas like those, tho I usually end up going for salwar kurtas :p

Happy new year!

Hey! 🥰

Well welcome to the Silmarillion community we are so happy to have you here! 🥰💖 I hope you enjoy everything I’ve written when you get the chance to indulge!

Ah yes!!! Salwar Kurtas are stunning! My husband would’ve worn his Kurtas but he had to work night shift.

But thank you! 🥰 I had to mix and match my blouse and skirt.

My pink blouse is a hair too tight! lol so I wore the top my MIL gave me.

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theelvenhaven · 4 months

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Happy New Years Eve!

This upcoming year will mark 5 amazing years since running this blog and meeting so many amazing people and sharing my art and my writing with you all!! I hope 2024 brings EVERYONE peace, I hope 2024 brings everyone healing, love, joy and prosperity!

Also check out my beautiful clothes from my in laws:

I love you all so much! I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve and an amazing New Year!!! 🥂🍾🎉

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theelvenhaven · 4 months

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Ladies and Guys and my Gentlethems

I am going to ask for you all to keep politics off the books here.

It is not because I am complicit in anyways. For those who know me personally. They know.

BUT this is a safe space. Please let’s keep it that way.

But here this isn’t the place. I am aware of how privileged that sounds of me. People need escapism, and a moment to breathe, to forget for just a little bit and pretend everything’s okay for just a little bit.

So please, keep it safe.

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theelvenhaven · 5 months

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Hey guys!!

Just a life update, I’m still on break for a bit. Especially while settling into my new place!

So the exciting part of that is- my husband and I bought our first house! And it’s BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT. (It’s not like one of those crazy half a mil houses.) But it’s so cute and we have DOORS compared to our loft apartment! It’s so beautiful!

And we moved in just in time for me to set up the Christmas tree today, yes I am pagan but my kids still deserve fun Christmas magic.

Also mentally I am SUPER super stable right now! The medication change has been helping tremendously these last few months!

My husband and I celebrated 10 years together in October! My daughter is excelling in her extracurricular, I haven’t heard from my abuser at all since locking things down so I think I’m comfortable with sharing photos again.

So I’ll share a few cute updates with you of my family and I! And also a big milestone for me- which is since switching antipsychotics I’ve lost 20ish pounds!!! My hyperprolactinemia seems to be getting under control! Yay!!

I love you guys so much! Thank you for almost 5 years of support, of love, of kindness, of hilarity, fun and spontaneity!

I do hope to be back eventually! 💖 but for now I’m going to keep resting and enjoying this exciting time for my family and I! 💖

#personal

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theelvenhaven · 6 months

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I miss your writing <3

I honestly miss writing too, a lot. Tolkien is still extremely heavily my hyperfixation just in case anyone is wondering if I’ve just given up on the blog. I haven’t.

I would like to return eventually.

But you know in the 5 years almost since I have had this blog I am 90% sure I have over 200 fanfics/headcanons combined. More or less.

I think I just need a break- like I’ve said in the past “I’ll take a break” and like a month later I’m like “hey guys I wrote 30 more fics! Enjoy!”

So I just need a good long break. I know it’s been 5 months. But like I’m just really tired.

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theelvenhaven · 6 months

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Please do not condone the doxxing or harassment over Inquisitor3’s contributors. The Italian government is opening an investigation - let the authorities handle the situation.

my apologies but what happened in the cod fandom?

i’m not apart of the fandom, but you got me morbidly curious about what’s going on?

Okay so I am going to put a TRIGGER WARNING and I’ll put an undercut to make sure that no one is subjected to explanation. So please proceed with caution.

I’d like to clarify I don’t play the games, but I watch my husband play them and I enjoy them very much.

I’d also like to add I do not condone ANY cyber bullying against the people who pushed him to do what he did. Do NOT send them death threats or hate spam.

So this was Inquisitor3 Ghost

Inquisitor3 garnered a HUGE following for his cosplay because it was a mash up of Star Wars and one of the main characters Simon “Ghost” Riley.

His whole goal was to become an Operator Skin in the CoD games for Simon Riley. His cosplay was completely original despite wearing Ghost’s popular mask in the game. While also spreading a lot of kindness and happiness. He was a very sweet soul, he always said such uplifting things and kind things to everyone.

Well in March he met this fan who claimed to be an adult, who’d make edits of his cosplay for him to post on TikTok. As you can see in the ss I attached it strictly says MDNI (minors do not interact)

Well unbeknownst to him- the editor was a minor (17).

Unaware of her age when she’d send this amazing edits of his cosplay- he’d say things like:

“OMG I LOVE YOU”

“IMMA MARRY YOU.”

Just enthusiasm.

Well it turns out her of age boyfriend and her were conspiring to get him cancelled for being a “groomer/pedo.” There is evidence that has been released by the of age boyfriend of him and his girlfriend conspiring to cancel him. Him encouraging her to try and get Inquisitor3 to sext her so they could oust him.

Problem for them was- she had made Inquisitor3 uncomfortable with her behavior. So he repeatedly asked her to leave him alone, and she continued to lie about how she wasn’t a minor.

So they took their evidence of his praise, and brought it to the attention of another cosplayer- Keegansmask. Who then started a witch hunt against Inquisitor3. Getting another cosplayer- Bravo-07 and MrsKonig to join in on the witch hunt. And they openly ousted him as a “pedophile” and “groomer” with the tiniest amount of context and lack of information.

None of these “vigilantes” asked for more context, nor Inquisitor3 for his side. Nor did they advise her to go to the authorities or seek out specialists- like RAINN and SA Centers who specialize in these things. Not helping the situation was a popular cosplayer Seether admitting to being a groomer and dipping.

So Inquisitor3 horrified by what happened and receiving an influx of intense hate, death threats and so on deleted all of his social media platforms.

Well, Monday night in Italy (where he is from), he reactivated his TikTok. Went live but turned off comments.

It turns out during that live Inquisitor3 committed suicide. I will not go into anymore details about what happened in that video- he was mostly off camera- though you could very vaguely see his reflection in the window.

In the meantime- Keegansmask elsewhere was mocking the live entirely. Even when help arrived.

Unfortunately on Tuesday, his father and friends confirmed that he had been successful in his attempt. And that he has since passed away.

The cosplayers involved for the witch hunt are giving have baked apologies and taking hardly any accountability from what I’ve seen. With people even going so far as to forgive them.

Keegansmask on her private insta is still, from what TurkishTerminator and Keegs have reported, is making fun of the situation.

While the minors boyfriend is in complete denial that Inquisitor3 has passed away despite confirmation from family and friends. The minors boyfriend is also trying to take a lot of the blame off of himself. And pin it on his girlfriend or now ex. Despite his direct idea of him encouraging her to get him to sext her.

It was and it is an absolutely horrific tragedy. That was totally preventable if these “concerned” vigilantes had directed her to the proper authorities and could’ve exposed them either as truthful or liars.

It is a hard week for losing such a sweet and gentle soul, and also a hard week for CSA survivors like myself- as now it weakens our credibility further.

It was an absolute tragedy.

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theelvenhaven · 7 months