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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 1 year

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CONTENTMENT.

Assalamu Alaikum!

So I’m really excited to do this blog today with this topic – contentment.

Google defines contentment as “a state of happiness and fulfilment”. So how exactly can we achieve this state? How can we be content with our family and friends, with what we have, with what we’ve been given, with what we’ve not been given, with our blessings and our trials?

It certainly is easier said than done believe i know first hand believe me.

So much is expected of us women. Somehow in this rat race of dunya that we live in we have to be super. “Super mums”, “superwomen” super everything. We need to excel in every aspect of life or else we are somehow not significant enough.

Before we point fingers at others or society I really do feel that the main cause for this is our very own self esteem. If we are happy, if we are content, if we are satisfied then – what anyone says or does SHOULD NOT matter.

It is all in us.

It all begins with us.

What we let in, what we let influence and affect us, our moods and our thoughts.

Not one of us have it all regardless of what people might say or how they act. It is never what it looks like from the outside believe me. The grass always look greener on the other side but its not true. Looking on – at our sisters we somehow feel oh wow. But each of us fail to realize that to each our own competencies, our own strengths and our own weaknesses. All of us – have difficulties, trials, hurdles, blockades that we need to work around.

“Be kind. For each fights a battle none knows naught about”

It never is what it seems. So instead of sitting and wishing about what others have been blessed with. We need to get going.

Supplicate!!

So our beautiful deen is not simply a religion it is a way of life. I say this because we have been taught everything that we need to survive and excel in this world. We have been taught the best of mannerisms. Our Sunnah encompasses all facts of our life. Our internal interactions and our external interactions.

We’ve been taught how to eat, drink, dress and even relieve ourselves! How to purify ourselves with water and even in its absence! The How to’s encompass all aspects of our life. – Glory be to Him. We’ve even been taught such beautiful supplications and one of these which include seeking contentment – my topic for today.

‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) used to supplicate:

“‏اللهم إني أسألك الهدى والتقى، والعفاف، والغنى‏”‏ ‏

“Allahumma inni as’alukal-huda, wat-tuqa, wal-‘afafa, wal-ghina

(O Allah! I beseech You for guidance, piety, chastity and contentment).”

So we need to supplicate to Allah, to make us content, to make us happy with what we have. To guide us to the right path, the right friends, the right priorities. Supplication is after all worship.

Goal!!

“Life is like soccer. We need goals”

We need to have goals to achieve. Having a destination in mind helps us pause and redirect every so often. It’s so easy to get carried away and go with the flow. Having that goal in mind or written somewhere is like a flashlight, a torch. It guides us, makes us see reality and focus and prioritize.

Without working towards a target or knowing where our ultimate destination is we can never really get there. Without a goal – we don’t know what it is we are striving for. It will be what takes us through the daily grind. It need not be all laid out in concrete. Sometimes it simply does to begin. Often times we undermine our selves, but we should have lofty goals. It is the first step towards getting there.

Having a goal make us see the big picture. With faith and hard work we can get there! After all we are supposed to “tie the camel and trust the Lord!”

Pack it in!!

So none of us have it all, or know it all. Every day is a learning curve and I believe we have two choices to deal with whatever life hands us. Either we sit and moan, grumble and complain and end up discontent, dissatisfied and disheartened or we pack it in and do what we can with what we have. The latter attitude is I believe what is needed to be content.

Contentment cannot be monetized. I believe contentment goes hand in hand with Baraka. It is not in our pay check or in the storied house that we live in or the vehicle that we drive. Being content with what we’ve been given starts with our attitude.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“Look at those who are lower than you (financially) but do not look at those who are higher than you, lest you belittle the favors Allah conferred upon you.”

So sometimes yes, we will feel if only we got less money troubles, that most sought after promotion at work and then we’ll be content thats normal we are human for goodness sake if we didn't I dont think we would be human. But we do not know what tomorrow will bring so be patient. We have to change our attitude. We have to learn to accept what we have, to make the maximum of what we have, to do what we can with what we have.

We need to bring Alhamdulillah back into our lives, childrens lives, our families lives and also our friends live. We need to remember that we’ve been taught everything that we need for survival and to get content we need to begin with Alhamdulillah. Reading about the vast meanings of Alhamdulillah and what it means is a great way to start!

Educate ourselves!!

In this materialistic world where brands and possessions dominate and surround us and society and social media has us wanting more. It is easy enough to be discontent. The latest phone, the latest fashions. We are bombarded with new and innovative every turn we take. It’s like keep up or be left out. But the more ilm we have, the more awareness we have of our goal, the more content we can be.

True ilm, will bring us humility.

True ilm will make us more receptive.

True ilm will be our savior.

True ilm will aid us prioritize and see the big picture.

Friends!!

Birds of a feather, flock together.

As the saying goes we are – who we surround ourselves with. So striving to mingle with the kind of people who have our same priorities, same values, same ideas go along away in achieving contentment. The company we keep, the kind of activities that occupy our past times all work towards either giving us the contentment that we so need or making us discontent.

What do you think I have i missed anything out??

#contentment #allhamdulillah #islamicpost #islam help #manifestyourlife #motivational #beautiful quote #positivethinking #positive #self love #finding yourself #friends #reflection #selfreminder #allahswt #muslimah

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 1 year

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THE BEAUTY OF PATIENCE (SABR)

Everyone seems to be in a hurry now a days we all seem to have lost a track of time. We often get furious at little things and fight over minor issues on a daily basis. Our ability to communicate with each other has been severed by irritation actions and putting words into each others mouth. We’ve multi-tasked our lives with events and we give little to no time with our family and friends. Impatience is litrally a daily habit we posses in our society today.

Patient in Islam is known as Sabr is the “endurance” or more accurately “perseverance” and “persistence”. Sabr is characterized as being one of the two parts of faith (the other being shukr). It teaches us to remain spiritually steadfast, and to keep doing good actions in the personal and collective domain, specifically when facing opposition or encountering problems, setbacks, or unexpected and unwanted results.

Most of the time we are thrown in the well of grief and disappointments in our work places, in society, in family and financial situations. The patient ones in Islam are referred to as Sābirūn. They are known to remain steadfast not only in health and prosperity but also in the performance of religious obligations, in refraining from forbidden things and in the event of uncontrollable calamities. Patience (Sabr) have been classified into three phases: Sabr in time of afflictions, Sabr in obedience of Allah. Sabr in guarding against sins.

Abu Musa al-Ashari reported that Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, “When a son of a servant of Allah dies, Allah Says to the angels, ‘Have you taken the son of My servant?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ Then Allah Says, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ Allah Says, ‘What has My servant said?’ They say, ‘He has praised You and said, ʾinnā li-llāhi wa-ʾinnā ʾilaihi rājiʿūn (To Allah we belong and to Him is our return). Then Allah Says, ‘Build a house for My servant in Paradise and call it the house of praise” From Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad and ibn Habban. In another narration Abu Yahya Suhaib b. Sinan said that Prophet Muhammad said: “Wondrous are the believer’s affairs. For him there is good in all his affairs, and this is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him, he is enduring (ṣabr), and that is good for him(Muslim).

Patience is very significant in Islam its that significant that it compared to as a act of worship. In the Holy Quran there is usually a close connection between being patiently persisting in doing right and expecting relief or deliverance from God (tawakkul). Thus, prophet Muhammad (saw) is told to be patient like the Apostles of God before him. The following are a few verses of the Quran about patience;

“Seek God (Allah)’s help with patient perseverance and prayer. It is indeed hard except for those who are humble (2:45)

O you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for God is with those who patiently persevere (2:153)

But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, ‘To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance (2:156–157)

O you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Live in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper (3:200)

Be patient, for your patience is with the help of Allah (16:127)

Patiently, then, persevered for the Promise of Allah is true, and ask forgiveness for your faults, and celebrate the praises of your Lord in the evening and in the morning.(40:55)

Hardships and ease are a trial for us all. Everything Allah chooses from good or evil, is for our benefit and our benefits alone. Whatever occurs could not have missed us and what missed us could never have reached us. Panic and impatience cannot prevent Allah’s Decree. I pray Allah guides us and make us amongst the sabirun (patience ones),

Here is a short Dua/supplication for patience that I found: “Allahumma musarrifal-qulubi, sarrif qulubana `ala ta`atika” — O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience. Ameen!

#islamicpost #motivational #selfreminder #islamquotes #duaa #patience #allahuakbar #muslim #muslimah #holy quran #quranquotes

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 1 year

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How Can You Build Your Self Esteem?

Improving self-esteem is basically improving how you view and value yourself. While some have a high self-esteem by nature, there are also some who need to work on further developing it. After all, the lack of self-esteem is often one of the reasons why we are afraid to try out new things, and it also affects our productivity.

Believe in yourself.

Everything starts with believing yourself. If you, yourself, don’t believe in your own capabilities, then how can you expect others to believe in you? Instead of saying that you can’t do something, why not at least try doing it before you give up? Also, it would be best for you to develop a positive thinking so that you will not easily back out on the challenges that you will face in your life.

As much as possible, you shouldn’t also worry about what other people think about you or about what you are doing (as long as you don’t step on other people’s toes). What’s important is that you are enjoying yourself.

Know what you want to do.

The results would be so much better if you choose to do something because you love doing it or you are passionate about it and not because you are forced to do it. Instead of doing things just to please the people around you, you should do the things that can make you feel happy.

Also, it is important to keep in mind that you cannot please everyone no matter how much you try improving yourself. So, just because a certain someone is not pleased with you doesn’t mean that others feel the same. There would surely be someone who appreciates your efforts.

Write down your strengths and weaknesses.

Although you might not be good in everything, for sure, there are some areas where you are good at. So, list them all down. If you can’t think of anything, then you can ask your family and friends who have been with you for a long time.

Of course, don’t forget to list down your weaknesses as well and then challenge yourself to become better at it. When doing this, you can consider the Quran and Sunnah as your guide to help determine what you did right and what you did wrong.

Spend time with people who appreciate you.

In times when you don’t even appreciate yourself and the efforts you have exerted, spend some time with people who appreciate and love you. Being surrounded with people who show you that you are also someone valuable is a great way for you to start improving yourself since they can provide you great support, especially when you are experiencing difficulties

Moreover, they can also make you feel better about yourself. Whenever you start doubting yourself, think of the compliments that you have received before, and you will surely feel better.

Be mindful of your appearance.

This tip for improving self-esteem does not necessarily mean that you should try your hardest to be pretty, but this only means that you should at least look clean, decent, and presentable. So, wear a modest Islamic outfit. If you look good, then you would also feel good about yourself. You will also have more confidence when dealing with other people.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

No matter how good the people around you are, you still shouldn’t think lowly of yourself. Just because other people are able to do the things that you cannot do doesn’t necessarily mean that you are lesser than them. So, if you find yourself comparing to others whenever you use social media, then it would be best for you to avoid using it.

Learn to celebrate.

Accomplished something on your list? Well, no matter how big or small your accomplishment is, you should celebrate. It can be as simple as treating yourself to a good meal or buying something that you have always wanted to buy. Also, don’t forget to praise yourself for you deserve it.

There you have it— some basic tips on how to build self-esteem. Try them out and you will surely find more happiness and satisfaction as you have just overcome one of your barriers in life. However, you should always keep in mind that too much of it can also be destructive.

#beautiful quote #positivethinking #manifestyourlife #motivational #selfreminder #positive #islam #holy quran #islam help #self love #manifesting

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 1 year

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HELPFUL THINGS FOR MUSLIM A REVERT TO REMEMBER...

Whether you’re brand new to Islam, or a seasoned revert, you may find yourself frustrated with how little you seem to know about being a Muslim. The amount of knowledge to gain is unlimited, and it’s really up to you how much effort you put into your chosen faith.

The amount of knowledge to gain is unlimited, and it’s really up to you how much effort you put into your chosen faith.

If you’re the only Muslim in your household or family, you may find it difficult to explain your choices, or answer questions about Islam.

Insha'Allah, with time, this will become easier.

I took my shahada just a little over five years ago, and I still have so much to learn but I take it in my stride with my head held high because I know Iam doing this for me and to please Allah no other reason. I hope that if you are in a similar situation to me, these suggestions might help guide your struggle.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO LEARN.

But not too much time. Don’t be lazy. It’s easy to fall into Shaytan’s trap and let your habits spiral downwards. If you like to work towards deadlines, make a schedule for yourself. If you always wait for inspiration to strike before picking up the Holy Quran or making du’a, you may find yourself never doing these things. Be patient with yourself, but also be diligent. You are a student of Islam, and studying is just part of being Muslim.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.

This one is difficult. It’s hard not to compare yourself to people who grew up in a Muslim environment, and seem to know just about everything there is to know. Don’t let others make you feel “less Muslim” because you are still learning how to read Arabic. On the flip side, don’t let others make you feel “too Muslim” because you wear hijab ect. Find moderation in all you do, and strive to be the best person you can be while having a reasonable mind about things. Easier said than done, I know.

BEHAVE APPROPRIATELY.

Since we don’t live in a Muslim society, not everyone is going to be on the same page here – and that’s fine. For me, wearing hijab is a reminder of how to behave in public, but if choose not to wear one right now then that is your right. My dear brothers don't think that you shouldn't also wear a hijab and when I say hijab when im referring to men I mean the way you dress not a hijab on your head. You know what to do.

DRESS MODESTLY.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you what to wear. You’re old enough to figure that out yourself. However, as a rule of thumb, it’s probably best not to go out in public wearing something that you would not be able to pray in. What if on a whim you decide to visit the masjid but are dressed inappropriately? Sure, there are worse things that could happen, but putting in the extra effort to be covered where needed will also give you confidence that is also to both my sisters and brothers. I know some people will laugh at this, but it’s just my own opinion.

PRAY. AND, WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY SOME MORE.

I habe to 100% honest here i didn’t get this at first i honestly didnt, it just didnt make sense, but it is one of the pillars of Islam so I rolled with it, I found it difficult I even turned to YouTube to help me. It’s easy to get in the routine of performing salah five times a day if your family members and coworkers are doing it, too. But, more likely than not, they aren’t. So what then? My recommendation to you is just doing it, regardless of whether or not the people you live with or work with pray regularly. If you feel awkward about praying in front of non-Muslims, then dismiss yourself and pray in private. There is no reason for you to feel ashamed about the path you’ve chosen, and praying is a testimony of your faith – so stick to it, and Allah will reward you.

There is no reason for you to feel ashamed about the path you’ve chosen, and praying is a testimony of your faith – so stick to it, and Allah will reward you.

In writing this advice, I don’t know how helpful it will really be, but I hope to offer some solidarity with you as a revert. Reverts are Muslims, too – we’re not some lesser caste of Muslim, and we should remember that ourselves.

#islamicpost #revert #manifestyourlife #motivational #positive #manifesting #self love #selfreminder

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 1 year

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Its been a while since my last blog and i apologies for that but i have been concentrating on my children and i have just given birth to another baby Alhamdulillah ill try to post weekly from now on.

One misconception many Muslim youth hold is they view Islam as a rigid/extreme religion and as a religon that is tough to practice. Because of that, many youth shrink away from Islam or abandon it altogether in their teen years or early adulthood.

However, one thing we must remember is that Islam is not a religion of extremity. In fact, when Islam is practised in the way that it is intended to be practised, it is not a difficult religion to immerse yourself in because Islam actually adheres to basic human psychology and human nature. This concept of making religion easy is shown in the following saying of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), which is called a hadith in Arabic:

Narrated by Abu Hurairah: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded; and gain strength by offering the Salat (prayers) in the mornings, afternoons and during the last hours of the night.” (Bukhari)

There is quite a bit to unpack from the hadith, and there are four main learnings which we’ll discuss below. However, the obvious lessons are that we should not make our religion difficult by overburdening ourselves, going to extremes, or expecting perfection. Instead, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advises that we simply need to do our best, keep our hopes in Allah, and utilize prayer as a means of gaining strength.

One thing to remember is that making our religion easy does NOT mean that we become lazy in our practising of Islam or that we use this hadith as an excuse not to improve ourselves. What making our religion easy means is that we do not become too lax or too extreme in how we worship Allah, fulfil our social obligations, or try to grow as people and Muslims. Instead, we should try to find a middle ground in how we live our lives and in how we practice our religion.

1. Religion Should be Easy:

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “The best of your religion is that which is easiest, the best of your religion is that which is easiest.” (Musnad Ahmad)

Islam is not meant to be a burden on our lives. It is meant to be something that we integrate into our lives, not something that we compartmentalize. Following Islam should make us happier and more fulfilled. If a person is neglecting their family, health, or well-being in the name of Islam, then that is not true Islam.

An example of this is the famous story of when some women of Medina came to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ complaining that their husbands were spending their whole night in prayer and were neglecting them. The Prophet ﷺ responded by chastising the husbands of these women and telling them that their wives had a right over them.

Think of this analogy. Imagine a horse rider who rides their horse so far without giving it any rest. Of course, the horse will perish at some point. In the same sense, if we don’t make religion easy on ourselves, we will lose the joy of Islam and our faith will perish like the horse whose master rides it too hard without giving it any rest. We need to find a middle ground in how we practice religion, one that will help us grow as people without consistently over-exerting ourselves.

Some Muslims stretch themselves too thin and overburden themselves in the name of Islam. Because of this, sometimes their personal lives suffer as a result.

However, we should remember this famous hadith:

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was asked, “What deeds are loved most by Allah?” He said, “The most regular constant deeds even though they may be few.” He added, “Don’t take upon yourselves, except the deeds which are within your ability.” (Bukhari)

The deeds Allah loves best are the good deeds that are done on the regular basis, whether big or small. Even the small deeds we consistently do will Insha’Allah be a mountain for us on the Day of Judgment. Therefore, we should focus on creating the habit of doing daily good deeds that can be integrated into our normal routine. Remember, we never know which good deed will be the one that allows us to enter Jannah, and even a small deed can reap an immense reward when done with pure intentions.

2. Allah does not Expect Perfection:

Another factor that causes stress on Muslims is the idea that they are not doing enough to please Allah. Muslims are often taught to “fear Allah” and taught to be afraid of His wrath. However, this concept of having to be perfect and the fear of making mistakes is not true Islam.

Nowhere in the Qur’an and in no authentic hadith is it ever even hinted that Allah expects perfection. Instead, Allah and Prophet Muhammad ﷺ have told us time and time again that Allah actually expects us to make mistakes and falter.

One hadith states this plainly:

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “All children of Adam are sinners, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” (Tirmidhi)

Allah expects progression, not perfection. Notice the above hadith does not say that the best people are those who don’t make mistakes. No, it says that all of humanity will make mistakes and commit sins; however, “the best of those who sin are those who repent,” meaning that the best of mankind are those who recognize their shortcomings and repent.

Repentance is synonymous with self-improvement because repentance involves trying to undo the sin/mistake if possible, asking for forgiveness, making the intention to not repeat the mistake and then compensating the mistake with a good deed. Therefore, repentance is a way that we build our character and progress as individuals. It is something shown in our actions, not just in our words.

3. Keep Positive Hope in Allah:

Making our religion easy also means that we keep high hopes in Allah’s mercy. One hadith that explains this idea is:

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Allah says, ‘I am as My servant expects Me to be.’” (Bukhari)

The above quotation is the first sentence in a long hadith; however, just this sentence holds an ocean of knowledge. It shows us that we get from Allah what we expect. If I expect harshness from Allah, then that is what I’ll get. However, if I expect good things from Allah, if I have high hopes in His mercy, and if I have high hopes that he’ll accept my good deeds and multiply my reward, then that is what I will get. To put it plainly: our expectation affects what we receive from Allah.

We need to maintain humble yet positive expectations with Allah. Remember that the majority of Allah’s 99 names/attributes deal with His compassion, His love, and His mercy toward humanity while only a handful of His names/attributes describe His wrath. This shows that Allah’s mercy outweighs His anger. Allah is a benevolent Lord who wants the best for us, and our attitude toward Him should reflect this.

Another hadith explains:

Abu Huraira reported: Prophet Muhammad ﷺsaid, “Call upon Allah with certainty that He will answer you. Know that Allah will not answer the supplication of a heart that is negligent and distracted.” (Tirmidhi)

Again, we need to have the right expectation when we think of Allah. Whenever we do our best, do a good deed, repent, or supplicate to Allah, we should have the full conscious expectation that He will accept our good intention/deed or accept our supplication.

This does NOT mean that we become entitled or complacent. Instead, it means that we have high hopes that Allah is always listening and will always do what is best for us.

4. Prayer (Salat) gives us Strength & Patience:

The Qur’an states: “Oh you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.” (2:153)

There are several places in the Qur’an where prayer (Salat) and patience (Sabr) are mentioned side-by-side. This demonstrates that the two naturally go together. The purpose of our daily prayers is to keep us safe from evil acts, and one definition of Islamic patience is it’s the efforts and energy we put to staying on the right path and not falling into evil temptations. Since prayer is how we build restraint and patience is how we exercise restraint, the two go hand-in-hand.

With that being said, prayer helps strengthen our faith in Allah and therefore gives us strength. Patience is how we exercise that strength. By keeping us safe from evil deeds, prayer helps us build our patience because patience revolves around not falling into temptation.

Exercising prayer and patience in our daily lives allows us to build good hope in Allah, which allows us to build positive expectations in how we view Allah, which allows us to practice our religion in the way it was intended (i.e. positively, stress-free, and with ease)!

In conclusion, the main learnings are to find a middle ground in how we practice Islam and to not be too extreme or too lax. Islam should be integrated into our daily lives, not something we compartmentalize. We should not be too hard on ourselves and not expect perfection from ourselves. However, we should maintain positive expectations in Allah and use prayer as a way to strengthen ourselves and increase our patience.

I’d like to end by saying that anything good I said came from Allah. However, anything incorrect I said came from me, and I ask for your forgiveness if I said anything incorrectly.

#islamicpost #prophet muhammad #hadith #positivethinking #beautiful quote #manifestyourlife #motivational #selfreminder

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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Say “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning), do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful” – Surah Az-Zumar 39:53

So I started to write this blog about my journey to islam and learning more about myself while never losing hope in the mercy of Allah swt. In it, I shared what was then my understanding of God’s forgiveness and the story of the companion who symbolised this for me the most.

Fast Forward to last night, I attended a Qu’ran tafseer circle which took my understanding of Allah’s mercy even further. It focused on ayah (verse) 53 of Surah Az-Zumar. I have to admit; I stopped attending this circle for many months throwing in excuses that I was just too busy. However, that day, I had this sense of urgency in my heart that I needed to attend the circle; it was a sensation that I just could not ignore.

That night in the circle, one of the sisters led the session reciting ayah 53 of Surah Az-Zumar, and she shared an in-depth explanation of its meaning. She described the infinite magnitude of the mercy of Allah swt against the mountainous weight of our sins. The tafseer of this one ayah left me in complete awe of the mercy of our Lord. It had me thinking whether I fully understood the concept of Allah’s mercy and so I felt it was only right that I came back and shared with you my thoughts and reflections to further your understanding on the mercy of our Lord.

‘O My servants’ – Allah swt begins this ayah addressing all of His servants – He is not only addressing the ‘pious’ or the ‘good’ Muslims, no. He is addressing all of His slaves; He is speaking to you and me. ‘Who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning)’ – every one of us has sinned- major, minor, knowingly or unknowingly, we are not infallible. This is a concept that many of us struggle to accept as we strive for perfection in our lives. You might have committed unimaginable acts or have crossed the lines that Islam has set. You may feel as a result of these sins, you are no longer a ‘worthy’ Muslim or that there is no hope for you. You may also have experienced other people telling you that you are destined for hell and that you are never going to be forgiven.

Now read carefully the command that comes next after Allah swt addresses you and acknowledges that you have sinned: He swt says ‘do not despair of the mercy of Allah’. Just take a moment and think about this.

This is a command from Allah swt for you never to lose hope, and as His servant, you must obey. You are not allowed to be pessimistic about your sins, you and no one else is allowed to pass sentence. Why? ‘Allah forgives all sins’. You aren’t the only one that has made mistakes- you, me and everyone on this earth have sinned, but we must turn to Allah swt and ask for forgiveness so that He can forgive us. It doesn’t matter how big or how many times you have sinned- Allah swt, your Lord, ‘the Forgiving, the Merciful’ is forbidding you from despairing and assuring you that He will forgive you.

It doesn’t matter how big or how many times you have sinned- Allah swt, your Lord,‘the Forgiving, the Merciful’ is forbidding you from despairing and assuring you that He will forgive you.

I want to remind you of a narration that I hope will help you understand how merciful God is. Umar ibn Khattab RA reported that some prisoners of war were brought to the Prophet ﷺ, and there was a breastfeeding woman among them. Whenever she found a child amongst the prisoners, she would take the child to her chest and nurse it. The Prophet ﷺ said to us:

‘Do you think this woman would throw her child in the fire?’

We said, ‘No, not if she was able to stop it.’ The Prophet ﷺ said ‘Allah swt is more merciful to his servants than a mother is to her child.’-Sahih Al-Bukhari

Over a year ago my sister had her latest newborn and I was able to observe the way she would look after her child- comforting her with each cry, waking up throughout the night to feed her and making sure she was safe. SubhanAllah, I could see the affection and mercy my sister had for her daughter, and yet the Prophet ﷺ tells us that Allah SWT is more merciful than a mother. Just look to your mother on how much she cares and loves you- how can you then lose hope in God?

Du’a for forgiveness

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي

Allahumma innaka afuwwun tuhibbul afwa fa’fu annee

“O Allah, You are Forgiving and love forgiveness, so forgive me” or “O Allah, You are Pardoning and love to pardon, so pardon me.”

Note: By asking Allah swt to pardon us for our mistakes, we are asking Him to not take us on account of them on the day of judgement, i.e. to completely wipe them out as if they never happened in the first place. Try to make a habit of saying this du’a everyday.

I also want to touch on two names of Allah swt: al-Ghaffar (The Oft Forgiving) and al-Ghafur (The All Forgiving). Al-Ghaffar means to cover and conceal, the idea that Allah swt covers His slave by hiding his sins and not taking him to account for them. It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:

‘Allah- Blessed and Exalted is He!- says ‘O son of Adam! So long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam! Were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me having ascribed no partner to Me, I would bring you a similar amount of forgiveness.’ -Sunan Al-Tirmidhi.

The name al-Ghafur is similar to al-Ghaffar but it refers to the amplitude of His forgiveness i.e. the number of times that Allah swt will forgive you. Al-Ghafur is also said to be derived from the word ‘ghafr’ which is a medical plant that is used to heal woulds. The idea here is that forgiveness helps heals our wounds of sins similar to the medicinal plant that will help heal the physical wounds of our bodies.

The last point I also want to mention to you is the concept of being merciful to others. We as human beings are very quick to judge others for their sins- what makes you think that you can judge? If you want God to show you mercy, why aren’t you merciful to His other servants? Allah swt says:

‘Let him pardon and forgive, would you not love that Allah forgives you? Indeed Allah is all-Forgiving, Merciful’ -Surah an-Noor 24:22

I also believe that by encompassing the characteristic of being merciful, it will help you gain a better understanding of the mercy of Allah swt. If someone wrongs you, forgive them- do not grow hatred and if you see someone sin, do not judge, immediately make du’a for them that Allah swt forgives them and guides them to the straight path. This can be difficult at first, but, when you remind yourself that you are doing it for the pleasure of Allah SWT and His mercy, over time, it will become second nature. Remember that any du’a you make for your brothers and sisters; the angels will make that same dua for you as well.

So now let me ask you, Allah swt is inviting you towards His mercy. Will you accept it? Or will you allow the shaytan to make you feel hopeless? Remember that all he can do is whisper, but the promise of God is true.

It’s your choice- make the right one.

Come, come whoever you are

Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving

It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair

Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times

Come, yet again, come, come

#beautiful quote #positivethinking #manifestyourlife #islamquotes #islamdaily #islam #convert to islam #islamicpost #finding yourself #allah #allahuakbar #allahisgreat #allahisone #la ilaha illa allah

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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Forgiving is hard.....

Every time I contemplate on all the heartbreaking episodes & events that i had to endure these past few months, I couldn’t help but to be filled with rage and/or great sorrow. Lately, it has kind of taken a toll on me. I often find it so difficult for me to fully focus & achieve khusyu’ in my ibadah or any task I do in general. As hard as I try to eliminate external distractions when I’m at something, my past always finds its way back to me. I start to be reminded of how hurt i was, and all the familiar faces that caused that hurt. Anger will peek in and just like that, I lose focus.

Now being distracted isn’t my main concern. It’s the fact that by losing focus when i’m in the middle of doing something, be it ibadah or work, I would end up not entirely satisfied of the outcome once it’s done- this bothers me a whole lot. Imagine how much better everything would turn out if I gave my 100%. Until I discover how to get rid of everything that’s bugging me, I don’t think I’ll ever be at peace. The question here is, why can’t I? Why is it so hard to get over everything? Then it occurred me last night that maybe, just maybe, the reason why I can’t let go of my past is because I’m withholding one of the most essential thing that is needed to move on- forgiveness.

In my effort to start fresh, I realised how I still get all emotional and mad each time I think of the ones who broke me. So I ask myself, if I still feel this way then have I really forgiven them? Hm, I don’t think so. But then, why not?

Although Allah has given us the right to refuse from forgiving someone, I’m pretty sure He does not encourage it. As difficult as it is to forgive, holding back forgiveness is way more tormenting and painful. It haunts you. In my idealism, I used to think that if I don’t forgive someone, i have done my revenge. They will not be able to live in peace because regardless of whether they have asked for an apology or not, i’d still consider it as ‘unsettled business’. But hey who am I kidding, because eventually, this mentality corrupts the heart. And a heart which is corrupted will never be at peace- including mine.

Oh come on, It’s islamic new year. If not now, can there be a better time? You see, forgiving does not only benefit the person at fault, but it’s equally as important & necessary for the forgiver as well. You should forgive others not only because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. After all the crap they got you through, even if they never bothered to say sorry, forgive them. Again not because they deserve it, but you are way better than that. Because you are worthy with the quality of being forgiving. It takes the same amount of energy to forgive as well as to not forgive. There’s a certain kind of humility required to be the adult here. Not forgiving, as convenient as we ‘assume’ it is, just indicates the amount of pride and arrogance we have in us. Since when is life a battle of ego? Remember the story of Adam and Iblis Laknatullah? Ego was the exact reason why Iblis was taken out of jannah.

We are all children of Adam. We make mistakes. At some point of our lives, we have also wronged someone. We might have caused them hurt. With or without intentions, knowingly and unknowingly. It is certainly natural to mess up here and there. Yes right now you are torn. Yes you are shattered to pieces and broke to the bones. That person may have betrayed us, slandered us, or simply been a pain in the ass. But how can you be so sure you’ve never left anyone feeling the same way before? And because of that, we all owe each other forgiveness. If we hope to be forgiven, why is it so hard to do the same to people? Why are we withholding something which we are clearly not the rightful owner of in the first place?

Forgiveness, dear readers, it’s is not our forte. It’s not something we humans are experts of. For goodness sake, we are not God. Even Allah is Al-Ghaffur- The Most Forgiving. He forgives and He loves to forgive. It’s one of his beautiful attributes. A Godly one. Now since Allah is All-Forgiving, if the person at fault commits sincere tawbah (repentance), it is most likely for Him to forgive the person. But us humans? We on the the other hand, are different. We tend to come up with so many excuses and have the cheek to not forgive a fellow human being who breathe, eat, sleep and make mistakes just like us. Do we think that if we do not forgive them, we can refuse them jannah? Are we for real? Don’t compare who hurt who more, or ‘my pain is bigger than your pain’. If you look at it that way, you will never be able to forgive. We are not the bosses of others. I don’t owe you, you don’t owe me. Honey, who are we to punish people? If Allah can forgive people, why should we punish them more than they deserve to be punished?

It warms my heart every single time I recall on how forgiving our prophet Muhammad SAW was. Do you remember how he was once rejected by the people of Ta’if? When he arrived to Ta’if, he was pelted with rocks and stones until he bled awfully. His whole body was covered with blood and his sandals were clogged to his feet. Things got so ugly that Jibril was sent down to usher the angels in charge of the mountains to look after this matter. The angel greeted Rasulullah and said;

“Oh Prophet of Allah! I am at your service. If you wish, I can cause the mountains overlooking this town on both sides to collide with each other, so that all the people therein would be crushed to death, or you may suggest any other punishment for them.”

I bet you can guess what the prophet did next.

Yes, he forgave them instead. Allah. He was A PROPHET. A Nabi! He could simply ask Allah to destroy the people of Ta’if. But not only he forgave them, he also prayed for them. He prayed for his enemies. No grudges. No nothing. MashaAllah, such humility. Muhammad SAW raised his hands towards the heavens and said “…So long as You are not angry with me, I do not care. Your favour is of a more expansive relief to me.”

Allahuakbar

Here’s another story. Once during the time of the prophet SAW, a man was said to be given glad tidings of Jannah. A sahabah heard this news and due to curiosity, he observed that man’s activities for 3 days from the moment he wakes up, to the time he goes to bed. However he did not find anything that made the man stand out from the rest of the sahabah who seemed to be doing more good deeds. So one day, he gave up and decided to ask the man directly. The man revealed a truly virtuous act that he never forgets to do every night. He said “Every night, before I go to sleep, I forgive whoever has wronged me. I remove any bad feelings towards anyone from my heart.”

How beautiful is that?

I learnt that one way to be more forgiving is by reading more seerah of the prophets. How they dealt with people, particularly who hated them and had harm inflicted on them. They were so gentle towards others and they showed that it is absolutely possible to forgive with hikmah; to become strong, without being hard, and remain soft, without being weak. Personally, the more I read about the prophets, the more I feel so little. As if I have no right at all to NOT forgive people, despite how they were towards me before.

Again,

Forgive others not solely because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace

It’s a win-win situation, for both parties. Not only that, it is also an investment for our Aakhirah. Our “jannah access cards”. Give yourself a chance to be happy again. Get rid of all that intention of wanting to torment a fellow human being by not forgiving them. It’s liberating and life changing, you know. Set them free, while setting yourself free. Pray for them. Ask Allah to guide them and make them happy. I noticed that by making du’a for those who have hurt us, we will find that their happiness can also be our happiness too. Tell me how can we not be happy seeing our prayers being granted?

And to every single soul that I have wronged, if by any chance you’re reading this, I sincerely beg for your apology. Please make du’a for me. Also know that I have forgiven you and I wish you nothing but the best for both your dunya and aakhirah. May Allah grant you contentment and peace, and may he soften our hearts to continue forgiving.

I deserve peace. You deserve peace.

So may peace be upon us all, inshaAllah.

#reflection #islam #islamicquotes #beautiful quote #positivethinking #manifestyourlife #selfreminder #holy quran #prophet muhammad #forgiveness

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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6 Ways to Stay Encouraged from the Beautiful Religion of Islam

We think that the path of Allah is very difficult and hard to follow, but history has given us people who were not infallible but have shown great strength and patience in the path of Allah, and have succeeded. If we put our trust in Allah, we too can hope and pray for not only success but for all the blessings of Allah Himself.

Staying encouraged and having faith can be difficult for us all – but by remembering that the solutions to all our problems lies in the beauty of the religion of Islam, we can strive towards living a more fulfilled and loving life.

1. Be Hopeful

As we know, the pandemic has shown difficult times to us, and one of the most important virtues that we need to have in these times is being hopeful. When we pray to Allah about our difficulties and problems, we should keep in mind that there are certain conditions for a prayer to be accepted, and being hopeful in the mercy of Allah is one of them.

The modern world has given us social media platforms, which is a great tool, but it’s also creating a fake and virtual world where people show off their possessions and fake beauty. The youth get hallucinated by this fake glamour and complain about their dull life – and gradually, they lose their interest in religion and feel only despair in regards to the mercy of Allah, which can drag them to the path of the shyton. Therefore, we should avoid consuming such poisonous content and always be hopeful in the mercy of Allah and rely only upon Him for assistance.

“O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning] do not despair of the mercy of Allah.” [Quran, 39:53]

2. Be Patient

Patience is one of the greatest virtues to discuss. Patience means staying in the arena without complaining, and not walking away from it. Some people leave the arena while some gradually slip away. We should stay in the arena, keep resisting the oppressive, hegemonic, and bullying forces, and strive in the path of Allah. We should keep our eyes on the distant goal and keep working hard for it.

We achieve various small victories in our life, but we should not let these small achievements make us feel content, and rather keep our eyes on the distant goal and keep working hard for it without complaining. And seek the assistance of Allah always.

“Indeed Allah is with the patient.” [Quran, 8:4]

3. Accept Constructive Criticism

Criticism is what we think is bad about others. As humans, we make mistakes in our life for which people will certainly criticize us at some point. And at the same time, we will also criticize others for their mistakes.

But we should keep in mind that criticism is healthy as constructive criticism, that is, when we want to highlight the other persons’ mistakes in a clement way so that they don’t get hurt or feel ashamed and take our words as advice and work upon themselves to improve.

“A believer acts as mirror to other believers.” Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) [tohfa-al-uqul]

4. Stay Strong

The pandemic has made people mentally and emotionally weak. Of course, the pandemic was something none of us were expecting, and certainly not prepared for. People lost their jobs, students had to compromise with their studies, and the lockdown made many people feel depressed.

These weaknesses clearly show that we are attached to weak sources of happiness, hope, and power. This shows our need for a greater source of power to which we have to attach. If we connect to the infinite source of strength then we will not need anyone else. Even if the whole world is against us we need to keep our connection with Allah. We have to oppose the oppressive, hegemonic, and bullying forces both on a personal level and the wider level. We should always take sides because neutrality helps the oppressor never the oppressed. We have to keep ourselves strong and give hope to others.

“The root of the heart’s strength is in putting one’s trust in Allah.” Imam Ali (a.s) [Ghurur al hikam]

5. Know the Difference Between Friends and Foes

As we can see, the past decade brought about tremendous changes in the world in terms of technology. All the information of the world is at our fingertips. This becomes a huge benefit as well as a great hazard for us, because now it’s very easy for the enemy to share their destructive thoughts and ideologies to everyone. Those with weaker faith have great chances of getting distracted and following these poisonous thoughts. A lot of the time, the enemy is disguised as a friend and because of our weak faith, we cannot recognize them.

So we need to build our faith to be stronger, and always be cautious of the enemy’s vicious plans. We should always keep our eyes and ears open to differentiate between friends and foes.

“We Muslims are busy bickering over whether to fold or unfold our arms during prayer, while the enemy is devising ways to cut them off.” Ayatollah Khomeini.

6. Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah

To strengthen our relationship with Allah, we must first be grateful for the blessings and hope of Allah’s mercy. We should be persistent in prayer, supplication, and in the reading and understanding of the Quran.

One of the most important acts of worship is helping the servants of Allah. If we try to be persistent in the path of Allah with a pure and attentive heart, then Allah will surely help us. We think that the path of Allah is very difficult and hard to follow, but history has given us people who were not infallible but have shown great strength and patience in the path of Allah, and have succeeded. If we put our trust in Allah, we too can hope and pray for not only success but for all the blessings of Allah Himself.

“You Alone we worship; You Alone we ask for help.” [Quran, 1:05]

#religion #prophet muhammad #bismillah #subhanallah #holy quran #islam

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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Spiritual Gains Through Little and Often

The Lockdown life forced us and is forcing us to slow down – with the days blurring into one, we realised that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It gave us the realisation that if we want to make some changes, we have to commit to them.

We’ve heard it so often throughout this year, but this year has been one unlike any other – for all of us; in one way or another. Pre-March 2020 many of our lives were fast-paced; barely enough time to breathe and just be – we were busy with work; consumed by ‘busyness’; our work-life balance non-existent.

We clung to the idea of Ramadan and the spiritual high it brings. We clung to any spiritual moment that allowed us to feel connected to our souls and Allah (The Most High) again. We had so many excuses not to indulge in spiritual activities before, but Lockdown and now Lockdown 2.0 and 3.0 showed us and still is showing us that in fact, we ourselves were the issue. We were placing emphasis on the wrong things in life and then wondering why we felt like we were always playing catch-up.

Looking back, it seems alien that we ever let it get to that, that we ever let this dunya take over our soul and minds to the extent that we felt the need to say things like: I’m too busy for Quran; I’m too busy for praying on time; I’m too busy to watch that lecture. Looking back, we (hopefully) realise now that this was simply an excuse to put our spiritual goals on the back burner. Priorities.

Yes, Lockdown 1.0 seems like a distant dream, but the lessons it has given us are ones we can carry forward, inshaAllah.

One truth that Lockdown has given us is this: little and often is a cliché for a reason – because clichés are true! The Lockdown life forced us and is forcing us to slow down – with the days blurring into one, we realised that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It gave us the realisation that if we want to make some changes, we have to commit to them.

Another truth that came out of Lockdown 1.0 was that social media is simply a (very small) window into people’s lives; when we sit there scrolling through socials, we are seeing the end goal of somebody’s achievement. We aren’t seeing the graft that has gone in consistently to get to that point. Take off the rose-tinted glasses and the truth really isn’t that glamorous – it’s about discipline and staying in your lane.

So, if these lessons were an equation (bear with me, I’m not into Maths either), they’d look something like this: commitment + consistency = gains.

How are we actually going to use this to propel us into action on the spiritual front? How are we going to stop ourselves from falling back into our pre-Lockdown lives? How can we keep a firm grip on the little-and-often mindset?

Here are some tips for cultivating it:

Become a specialist

In other words: pick one or two areas you want to excel in spiritually. Which types of ibadah do you naturally gravitate towards?

Choosing these will get your journey off to a good start. If you choose something you think you should be working on – because everyone on your socials is – then chances are you might not stick to it.

Don’t downplay your daily achievements

Great, so you’ve chosen reading the Quran daily (because you have always loved reflecting on its meaning and connecting it to your own life). Now what?

It’s so important that you keep reminding yourself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Remember that some pages of Quran every day will be a whole, complete reading eventually. Don’t belittle your few pages a day – yes, completing the Quran eventually would be a major spiritual boost; but don’t downplay the daily connection you are building with Allah (The Most Subtle) along the way.

Plan time for it

Just like other things on your to-do list, put this task on your checklist.

Writing down ‘read daily Quran’ ensures personal accountability; develops a habit; and quite honestly serves as a reminder on those days when you can’t seem to remember anything.

Set a realistic daily goal that factors in your other commitments – again, don’t compare to other people (especially not what you see on socials); look at your schedule honestly and pencil in what you can do.

Be kind to yourself

If you slip up one day and don’t manage to read those few pages you pencilled into your diary, then keep things in perspective – it is exactly that: a slip-up. Your whole plan and habit formation haven’t gone out of the window. Don’t let negative self-talk kid you into thinking the journey will be plain sailing. And don’t, I repeat don’t, compare your journey to what other people are choosing to show you of theirs.

Tomorrow is a new day inshaAllah – start again.

Track your progress

The progress you gradually make over time will be really satisfying – when you finish the whole Quran (no matter how long it took you) make a note of it. It’s really easy to forget these things and it ties in with Tip 2 above of celebrating your wins.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that Allah (The Most Merciful) loves actions that are consistent, even if they are small.

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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Losing a loved one is one of the major trials of life many of us will encounter. Grief from that loss is a natural reaction that takes a different trajectory for different people. Some people describe grief as a dark fog that is difficult to shake, others speak of the suffocating regret and anxiety that often accompany those feelings, still others speak about grief as waves that rise up and subside at different points.

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]

Sometimes people are expect to follow a particular timeline of grief, but the reality is that the journey of grief is different for everyone. Counsellors and bereavement supporters often speak about the five stages of grief that were popularized in the famous book On Death and Dying by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross namely: denial (as you begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation, denial begins to fade and difficult feelings may begin to surface), anger/anxiety (anger is the body’s natural reaction to threat and, oftentimes, there is no greater threat than the loss of someone you love or the loss of the way you envisioned life would be. Anger can also feel powerful during times when we feel powerless. You may experience nervousness, heart palpitations, restlessness, irritability, and/or difficulty breathing), bargaining (this stage often includes “If only…” statements due to the feelings of regret that come up with loss. This stage is characterized by an overwhelming desire for life to return to the way it was), depression (you might feel down and cry more often than you usually do. It may also feel like you have less motivation and find less enjoyment in activities you used to love. This stage can feel as though it’ll stretch on forever) and acceptance (it involves accepting the reality that this person is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. Acceptance does not mean that you’re “ok” with what happened. The loss of someone you love will likely never feel ok. The goal in this stage is to learn how to live with this loss and create a new normal despite the huge piece that is missing). However, recent research and understanding has concluded that grief can be an individualized and unpredictable experience and no two people’s experiences will be the same.

Let us look at some advice in the Quran and Sunnah to help us cope with grief and the loss of a loved one:

Shed tears as much as you want, but don’t let the tongue say what may displease Allah

Our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) experienced grief at many points of his life, often at the loss of loved ones. During these experiences he taught us that grief is a natural emotion and that Allah does not hold us accountable for expressing sadness and pain in a permissible manner. Sadness does not negate the acceptance of Allah’s decree which is the very center of a believer’s journey in grief.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1303]

We see the intensity of these emotions in the Prophet Yaʿqub عليه السلام when he was separated from his son Yusuf عليه السلام and he grieved so deeply that his eyes turned white (it’s said that he lost his sight) due to the extent to which he cried. His intense grief is expressed in the Qur’an (after all those years of losing his son) yet he was called to have beautiful patience (sabrun jameel):

And he turned away from them and said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor. [Quran; 12:84]

Accept that all of us belong to Allah and all of us will return to Him

As we see from the hadith above where the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was coping with grief, patience in Islam does not mean that we do not cry and that we do not express our emotions. What is forbidden is wailing and slapping one’s cheeks which was the culture at that time (the Arabs – women in particular – used to scream and wail during funerals or at someone’s death). As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved but the tongue only says what is acceptable to Allah.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 5644]

Make dua for yourself

As human beings, we attempt to cope with negative emotions in different ways. We often attempt to push away difficult emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable as it’s a painful process to sit with these feelings. We may try to distract ourselves or put on a fake smile. Some may even self-medicate through the use of drugs or alcohol to alleviate the pain they are feeling. When we are unable to grieve fully and an experience becomes a source of trauma, we are thrust into survival mode, which shuts down the executive functioning part of our brain and prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why we may react to situations in unhealthy ways or do things during times of stress that we would not have done during times of ease. This is one reason why some people struggle to worship Allah during times of extreme stress. When the “danger activation center” part of our brain is dominant, there is a decrease in self-awareness, our capacity to self-evaluate, and our ability to establish goals. All of these require advanced thought processes, which are very difficult to sustain during times of extreme stress. In order for any activity to help, our brain needs to register it. Research has shown an association between prayer and the ability to re-engage the “thinking” part of our brains.

Umm Salama, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says:” We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. She (Umm Salama) said: When Abu Salama died. I uttered (these very words) as I was commanded (to do) by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). So Allah gave me better in exchange than him. i. e. (I was taken as the wife of) the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 918 b]

When I lost my baby son Hamza, I remember one of my close friends messaged me this dua and reminded me to keep reciting it. I had not really known that dua at that time but I am so grateful for friends who guided me to the right words to say at such a confusing and overwhelming time when I almost lost my faith as a revert.

Stay among people who love you and would support you through this difficult journey

It is quite common to be engulfed by grief with the death of a loved one. However, one must not dwell in it much heaven knows i did but i soon realised this sends an invitation to Shaytan to become your company. Let the death of a loved be a lesson of detaching from Dunya and to hold Allah (glorified and exalted be he) in your heart above all others.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (ﷺ) said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 925]

Remember that your patience is being rewarded more than you can imagine

These are words you should say even when you feel sad at the memory of a loss you faced in the past or when you miss your loved one or the life you had planned with them.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 6424]

Stay away from questioning Qadr of Allah (asking: why me? or if only!)

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [Hadith; Tirmidhi 2144]

Often one of the ways, Shaitan attacks us at times of calamity or a loss is to overwhelm us with questions of what if and why me? How did this happen? Would it have been prevented if I had just done this or that or gone to the hospital earlier or taken this or that medical intervention?? I blamed myself for my sons death so much over the last year (he passed away 25/07/2020) but after reading the following in last few weeks I've become to realise there was nothing I could do to prevent it as it was Allah's will.

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 79]

These are some of the words my midwife told me to say when I heard the news of my baby passing away in my womb after 25weeks of pregnancy I am forever grateful to her for reminding me this at that trying time. Reminding ourselves we all have a path and a time to meet Allah and it is not the time be battling with the what if questions you are bombarded yourself with. I am grateful to Allah (swt) for giving me people in my life who were able to remind me of the right words to say and the right approach at such a difficult time. Remind yourself: whatever happened was decreed by Allah and nothing you or someone else did or did not do could have changed it. Focusing on the factors within your control, rather than on regrets and a desire to return to the less painful past, can help you to get through this stage.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Quran; 2:216]

Turning back to our deen and our belief in Qadr is what helped us accept the death as something Allah had decreed at this exact time and this exact situation and there is nothing we could have done to have changed that. Changing the past is not feasible so channeling our energy into something unchangeable is a recipe for intense pain. Instead of “What if…” Focus on “What is…”: The one thing we consistently have within our control is what we choose to do with the present moment. Shifting our focus away from regrets of the past and worries about the future allows us to take advantage of the present moment. Allah (swt) talks about this attitude of remorse in the Quran:

O you who have believed, do not be like those who disbelieved and said about their brothers when they traveled through the land or went out to fight, “If they had been with us, they would not have died or have been killed,” so Allah makes that a regret within their hearts. And it is Allah who gives life and causes death, and Allah is Seeing of what you do. [Quran; 3:156]

Instead, turn to Allah and open your heart to Him

Death can serve as a reminder to those left behind about the temporariness of this life and the importance of working for our next lives. It forces us to reflect on what is meaningful and what is important. Turn to Allah and pour your heart out to Him, talk to Him about your pain, cry out to Him and ask Him to calm your heart and heal your pain. Ask Him to reunite you with your loved one in Jannah. Ask Him to give you strength and peace. When Prophet Yaqub (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) cried so much that he lost his eyesight after all those years of losing his son, his elder sons said:

They said, “By Allah , you will not cease remembering Joseph until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” [Quran: 12:85-87]

Turn to Allah in sincere dua. No one else can heal your pain and give peace to your heart.

اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.” [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 265]

Journal to face and deal with your emotions so you don’t become hopeless

Writing to process your feelings is another helpful technique to help deal with your emotions and your grief ive found this out this week from advice from a sister who lost her father recently. She said that Writing out your thoughts and confusions will help sort them out, journals about your feelings from day to day, use gratitude journalings to focus on the blessings even at such difficult times, write letters to your loved one as if you are talking to them. All of this helps deal with the emotions and grief just as talking or counselling does as well.

“And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes laugh and weep.” [Quran; 53:42-43]

Find meaning / gratitude in your life again and create the required changes

Grief expert, David Kessler says, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: “When a young daughter of the Messenger of Allah was dying, the Messenger of Allah picked her up and held her to his chest, then he put his hand on her, and she died in front of the Messenger of Allah. Umm Ayman wept and the Messenger of Allah said ‘Oh Umm Ayman, do you weep while the Messenger of Allah is with you?’ She said: ‘Why shouldn’t I weep when the Messenger of Allah is weeping.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, I am not weeping. Rather it is compassion.’ Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘The believer is fine whatever the situation; even when his soul is being pulled from his body and he praises Allah, the Mighty and Sublime”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1843]

Finding meaning cannot erase your grief; pain is a natural reaction to intense loss. However, it can help you move forward. The loss of someone or something dear to you can often lead to reevaluating your priorities in life. Allowing this loss to push you toward positive changes in your life is one of the most profound ways of creating meaning. Gratitude is one of the qualities of a believer. Gratitude is tied closely to the concept of patience. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 2999]

Gratitude is also an attitude during adversity. Although difficult to see, there are always blessings that accompany a difficult time. Look for the blessings and ease that Allah has brought with this difficulty. May be things were easier than they could have been, may be there were eases in other areas of your life, may be this test drew you closer to Allah (swt), may be it allowed you to reflect on the reality of your life and allowed you to give more in charity, may be it became a means of wiping away your sins and earning you reward.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, ‘What did my slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”‘ [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 922]

Know that sadness doesn’t last forever even if the memories do

“For indeed, with hardship ease. Indeed, with hardship ease.” [Quran; 94:6]

Remember this promise of Allah. Remember that every moment of sadness and pain, no matter how overwhelming, is a part of the process of healing. Instead of focusing on the stretch of days ahead of you with this loss feeling like a looming storm cloud over your future, focus on the one step you can take today to get through the day. When experiencing feelings of depression, putting one foot in front of the other can make a huge difference. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy. Your body and well-being are an amānah from Allah that you need to take care of. Find time to decompress, however that might work for you. For some people this may include praying, making dua, reading, art, working out, or engaging in a hobby.

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and a man from among the Ansar came to him and greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with Salam. Then he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?’ He said: ‘He who has the best manners among them.’ He said: ‘Which of them is wisest?’ He said: ‘The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest.’” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 160]

Go through happy memories you experienced with them and remember your loved one in good words

Narrated Abu Al-Aswad: I came to Medina when an epidemic had broken out. While I was sitting with `Umar bin Al-Khattab a funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” And another funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” A third (funeral procession) passed by and the people spoke badly of the deceased. He said, “It has been affirmed to him.” I (Abu Al-Aswad) asked, “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He replied, “I said the same as the Prophet (ﷺ) had said, that is: if four persons testify the piety of a Muslim, Allah will grant him Paradise.” We asked, “If three persons testify his piety?” He (the Prophet) replied, “Even three.” Then we asked, “If two?” He replied, “Even two.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1368]

Remembering the happy times you had with your deceased loved ones can be a bittersweet experience. Many will talk about how this can have a healing effect, others mention how it rekindles the pain in their heart. Sometimes different reactions may also depend on where you are on your grief journey. Remembering the good times you had with your loved one can help you in dealing with the grief and with slowly learning to remember them without always feeling the pain of separation. Reminding yourself that you still have hope of reuniting with them in the hereafter is another way to help you process the pain you are feeling.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “Something bad was said in the presence of the Prophet about a person who had died. He said: ‘Do not say anything but good about your dead.”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1935]

Make dua for your loved one and give charity on their behalf

Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say: ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.'” [Hadith; Sunan Ibn Majah 3660]

Channel your grief in a productive way and think about what you can do for your loved one now. One of the ways we can benefit our deceased loved ones is by making sincere dua for them. We can also benefit our deceased loved ones by giving charity on their behalf.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 1383]

Seek help and support others

Seek social support, go to counselling and therapy, talk to friends about how you feel. Attend a bereavement group if you can so you can see how others in your situation are coping. Check Children of Jannah or Eternal Gardens for bereavement support. One major indicator that someone needs professional help is if they demonstrate an impaired ability to function in their day-to-day life with their family, at work, socially, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually. Again, this doesn’t mean that the person is mentally ill, but that they would likely benefit from talking to someone with expertise in the field of mental health.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 2442]

The aim of ta’ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give them hope at a time when their hope may be waning; it is to lighten the load of the bereaved. After the intense sadness of losing someone you care for deeply, you have the unique ability to empathize with the struggles others face in similar circumstances. Here are some things you can do for grieving families: Spend time with them without imposing yourself as a guest and expecting them to host you with food and drink. Offer to help by buying groceries, doing household chores, or watching their children.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Prepare food for the family of Ja’far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. [Hadith; Sunan Abi Dawud 3132]

Do what helps you through your journey of grief. Remember no two journeys are the same, so listen to your heart and give it what it needs. Sometimes you may need time to be alone, sometimes you may need to be around others you love. Sometimes you may need to talk about them, sometimes you may just need to sit quietly with your own thoughts. May Allah heal your pain, calm your heart and reunite you with your loved one in the hereafter.

I hope this helps who ever needs it see this right now...

Rest in peace my beautiful son Hamza until we meet again in jannah 🤲🤲

#islam #coping with grief #losses #allah #grief/mourning #prophet muhammad #hadith #holy quran

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