Tumgik
#zero two stream
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@profily-and-friends this is for you
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kitsunekurisu · 9 months
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my G A M I N G home
perfect for most new games and retro stuff (emulation etc.) 🌸🌸🌸
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crimescrimson · 11 months
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I swear to god if I see untagged MK1 spoilers because of a leak or some shit I'm going to be Pissed. I did not preorder premium edition just to have the story spoiled for me three months in advance.
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mattodore · 6 months
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probably the most important tests i've taken for mattodore 🧑‍💻
#theo's on the left and matthias is on the right btw... though i think you can tell that just based on the percentage bars 😭#matthias fr just likes everything. love my little hedonist <333#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#echthroi#oc extras#uh.....#nsft#...??? idk they're words on a screen but just in case#the 41% non-monogamist vs. 81%... lol#idk if i mentioned this before but while mattodore are monogamist they do still have sex with other people together#but bc of how jealous theo is the threesomes they have have a general no-touch rule wrt matthias#like he's entirely off limits to their third. theo is very strict abt this too... he'll be immediately taken out of a scene#if a hand even grazes matthias's skin... which is funny considering they mostly have threesomes with women anyway bc of his jealousy#and yet he still reacts poorly. like theo knows matthias is gay it's just that he's jealous in a completely irrational way#matthias likes it tho <3 it pleases him like nothing else to watch theo snap at someone not to touch him. like he's rock solid every time 🤷#guy whose jealousy meter is always at zero vs. guy whose jealous meter is always at a hundred... incredible dynamic imo#anyway......... i edited two other screenshots too but they're just for me <3 and i think i'm getting tired now#so i'm going to try to sleep. i'm counting on this jerma stream to keep my brain busy until i pass out.#if that doesn't work then i'll be scooping out my brain w/ a spoon as an alternative
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neeksnicoboytoy · 3 months
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PPARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT. bokuto shows up in the worst outfit you've ever seen but hes confident so really it doesnt matter (or does it) he claims he is bringing "The Drip" to the party. no one agrees with him except nishinoya which really is a bad sign when you think about him as a person. konoha threatens to burn his closet down when he's least expecting it and that man is SERIOUS. bokuto actually briefly feels a full body chill . EVERYTHING about he's wearing is neon and mismatched nishinoya fucks with it soooo hard hes actually kind of jealous!! i think bokuto would wear a snapback i'm sorry he cant dance either. but just like with his outfit he is so outrageously confident that it does not matter all that much (to him). at least SOMEONE'S representing the bad dancers on the floor am i right? ha ha. actually no take that man away this is hard to look at. tries to do the worm and fails miserably so he's probaly bruised all over the day after!! claims the bruises are battle scars even though they are bruises and not scars!! cmon now. he attempts the worm every party everyone is fed up with him. i feel like hinata WOULD be able to do the worm which really should not be the thing that gets you impressed about someone but bokuto LOVES it and he tries to get hinata to dance with him every chance he gets. he reaaally wants the aux but all his friends are not impressed with Pitbull and bokuto IS a crowd pleaser after all so he refrains.
akaashi trailing behind the crowd wearing something so normal you wouldnt look twice at it but it looks insane when you look at the scene -> neon lights confetti loud ass music etc etc. this man is in BUISNESS casual like he's about to attend a moderately dress code wise relaxed 9-5 office job. when you ask him about his choice of dress he just blinks and wanders off to talk about something pretentious like the musical arrangement in radiohead songs with daishou (who has managed to incorperate his "edge cutting" read edgy style in everything he's wearing so he's basically gone eboy. it looks horrific but kuroo thinks it's cool either way. not that he would admit that though) he's not entirely sure why he became friends with daishou seeing that he doesn't like daishou all that much but he supposes it is nice to talk shit with someone. bokuto thinks they match (they don't) and is very excited about this. akaashi is the weirdest fucker at the entire party besides maybe kageyama. he dances shockingly badly for someone that pretty but everyone loves him and knows he's kind of shy so they support him either way.
hinata has looked up cool teenage party outfit multiple times before going so he would look just right but in the end he figured he would just go for what's comfortable and ends up wearing sport shorts and a sweatshirt kageyama gave him. the important distinction between his athletic wear and bokuto's mess is that bokuto picked something athletic on purpose and hinata just doesn't have any other type of clothes someone help him please yachi is in constant disbelief and horror. he was so nervous that he almost puked before showing up but once he arrives at the party he realizes they are in Japan and thus no omnious solo red cup will be showing up like he assumed(guys there is no alchol involved dont WORRY they are MINORS) (besides tanaka i think. that guy is insane). after that he is in his ELEMENT and goes bonkers. he talks to everyone in the house and everyone not in the house and everyone likes him! fucks up the dancefloor. good for him. starts playing volleyball in the backyard with kageyama once he's had his fair share of the dance floor and promptly passes out in the midst of a set. kageyama would be very concerned but has at this point gained so much acceptance for the miracle that hinata is that he assumes hinata is Just like That so he sort of chills besides the stiff and unmoving body of his best friend for a while
other special mentions on this topic:
-oikawa is a really good dancer but everyone tells him he's bad to piss him off. he gets so mad at this that he trips
-iwaizumi shows up in a muscle tee and the party goes quiet for a bit. sexualities are reconsidered and self-discoveries are made. it's a really ugly and ratty shirt with godzilla on it but since the focus is not really on the shirt no one minds besides kentarou who is sort of torn between feeling betrayed and proud
-kageyama bonds with kenma. kenma is not willingly participating in this but kageyama doesn't really care. he's too busy getting his ass kicked n mario kart (plays as mario)
-tsukishima doesn't like parties but yamaguchi LOVES them and dresses up all cute for them. tsukki gets dragged along every time
-tendou absolutely fucking HATES!!!! popular music. he says it's too boring and also too mainstream to appeal to him so he starts bringing along his own speaker to parties . it always clashes horribly with the already playing, louder music and everyone BEGS him to turn it off but tendou is nothing if not persistent so he just turns the volume up. what a man. i respect the hustle
-ushiwaka, sakusa and kageyama passionately talk about volleyball together. akaashi joins in for a bit but then is lovingly (read: aggresively) pulled to the dancefloor by bokuto and the group gives up any kind of rescue mission once they've caught a glimpse of bokuto's biceps. sorry buddy you'll have to handle this by yourself i guess
-yaku starts doing pushups across the room to flirt with nishinoya. it works a bit too well because nishinoya sees it as a challenge and they end up doing pushups for a while. nishinoya loses btw
-i do think that they ^ kiss later
-suga and oikawa both dress cunty and real recognizes real so they exchange numbers. i do think oikawa would piss suga off to no end but for a while he (suga) manages to ignore that. once the party is over they never talk anyone
-tanaka gets a new haircut impulsively. he and nishinoya march out of the bathroom and all of sudden he's blonde. no one really knows what to do with it but tsukishima despises that they're both blond now. the other blondes are seriously impressed and accept him into their group
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sysig · 1 year
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I finally set my last notebook to rest, so it’s time for a new one (Patreon)
#Doodles#It took a long time! Having three concurrent notebooks at a time will do that#I'm used to only having two at a time but I think three is going to become my new regular#One for sketches - studies and random concepts and scribbly comics to be cleaned up in SAI at a later time#One for more finished paper art - not necessarily Fancy but lineless y'know lol a bit more proper as far as I'm concerned#And then a true free for all lol anything allowed! Basically a stream-of-consciousness captured to page#For now I've got the latter two covered I'm currently vetting the slightly-more-focused lined notebook#It was from a bit ago and I was being silly at the time haha but the first one is from a new brand I'm testing out#It feels good! It's grippy but not in a scratchy way and it accepts graphite and pigment well#I haven't tested pen bleed yet tho that'll be next on my list#The second is an old standby - not my favourite but one that is very easy to acquire and I know what to expect of it#It's also the same as my free-for-all notebook but that's really neither here nor there lol - I'm not likely to mix them up#The only thing I've really noticed so far is the new brand takes a bit more cleaning because its margin line bleeds a bit more than normal#It's not bad but I can see it getting annoying - pros and cons#The second two are just normal sona thoughts#I miss my spider. I've looked out at where I buried them every day since but it feels more manageable#It feels more approachable like I'll be able to talk about it with the sellers when we're able to go to see them#I do hope they don't think less of me for it...#And then the last haha - my Vargas immunity is currently basically zero so any outside mention of them is overwhelming#I got about three lines into a fic and had to stop lol - I still really want to read it! I just don't trust my brain with it right now#As if I still don't think about them all the time lol ♪#Plus now I have my hammock again (♥!!!!) so I've got my reading spot back!#Reading never felt so good <3 <3
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scatmaan · 1 year
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always wanna give stream original movies a try but god are they never good
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jyumaster21 · 1 year
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Twitch Streamer KatoKing425 and his fiancé dressed as Zero Two.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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ffxiv w the ffiv references please take my heart my everything is yours
#tag later#FF4!!!!!!! THE MUSIC THE TWO MOONS#the two moons.. sob.. ill cry#what if. theme of love has an ffxiv version is that too much hopium 🥹#i love you final fantasy xiv you are my favorite distraction my favorite escape my everything#i'm bout to make ffxiv my entire personality JUST YOU WATCH#i'm actually gna go insane it's probably a Bit (perhaps that is an understatement) unhealthy using ffxiv as a distraction like this#every time the night comes i fight the urge to do the same thing i did nights before but uh we don't talk about that <33#i shouldn't have wrote about that fuck#i was doing well just a moment ago but that specific memory just#nooooooooo i'm fine i'm fine i'm watching (listening) to the live stream rn <3#i do not understand jpn but i am multitasking sm rn i'll just look at translations later uh#i just started laughing at this one tweet i saw from my favorite feral zero liker on the tl#top.. 💀 I HAVE MY LAUGHS ON A VOICE RECORDING IM GNA LAUGH SM WHEN I REWATCH THAT#ARGHDLFKAJFLKSDJ FERAL FOR ZERO I LOVE YOU ZERO PLEASE TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME ZERO????#YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME ZERO MY ONE N ONLY IM#OKAY.#NO.#im so sorry when i find my mind drifting a bit from fiction like idk ffxiv or wtvr i find that i'm srs in a constant battle with my mind#BUT AS LONG AS I DON'T DO THAT AGAIN..#NO THIS IS A CYCLE 😭 that damned memory at least the. Thing on my hand i will not say the word#at least it's healing but i still haven't thrown the.. the yeah away n i'm afraid of what i might do if#i was. gna do it again last night but reading old stuff comforted me but then when tomorrow comes i find my mind torn once more n#i'm rambling T_T but i'm fine i think i'm just a mess right now i will just hold unto ffxiv.
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agentravensong · 1 year
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spoilers for pokemon scarlet and violet but
it's a shame that this game has both a hacker friend character and an ai character, and does, as far as i can tell, absolutely nothing with the potential for their interactions/relationship
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f1newgems · 2 months
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M indycar szteam is absolute garbage and unwatchable like always so I am think I am checking out
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aoharushiyo · 4 months
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kaisei / orangestar [eng translation]
TITLE: 快晴 (Clear Weather) VOCAL: IA COMPOSITION: Orangestar LYRICS: Orangestar OFFICIAL MV: (from youtube)
ENG:
When will the rainy season finally let up? you grumbled at the sight of morning dew still sparkling on the hydrangeas We can already hear summer's footsteps around the corner, you said, your hands already pushing my back, so let's go and greet it!
On your mark, we left the alleyways behind, scrambled over the hills from back then, and even crossed rainbows Nobody's left their footprints on this summer sky yet, so let's take it for ourselves, just for the two of us!
...Or so you said with a smile in that distant summer memory Though we can't meet again, nor can we ever return to that day, that's what made it so beautiful: The summer we had all to ourselves
Goodbye, I love you With that, it seems like this is the end of our story Maybe we weren't meant to be after all Some things won't change like the sky, the stars, and that crying face of yours But I hope that someday, we can laugh together once again
A lot has happened since then, and it's probably still happening But I'll keep living with a smile on my face because, as you'd say, "that's how life is", hm?
If I were so simple-minded like that, then no matter how pleasant my days are, there'd be no meaning to the days that pass If that's the case, then tomorrow's 'me' wouldn't be 'me' because that's not how it works, is it?
Though I might cry, the skies will surely clear Though my tears blur your visage, you'll always be clear as day Though we struggle, the sky will rain with falling stars, so... Yeah, I guess I'll keep living
I know this sky loves you Though everything might someday change, the sky will still be blue! I won't ever forget that. But so that I might someday meet you again, I'll keep on living and living so please smile, okay?
JPN:
梅雨が明けるまであとどれくらい? まだ紫陽花の光る朝 君の愚痴 夏の足音はすぐそこまで ねぇ迎えに行こって僕を急かす
君に言われるがまま路地を抜け あの時の坂を越え 虹を越え まだ誰もいない夏の空を 全部全部二人占めにするんだ
なんて君は笑ってたよな 遠い夏の記憶 もう逢えなくても 二度と帰れなくても それは美しい 僕らだけの夏だったろう
さよならI love you それで全て 終わってしまうような 僕らじゃないだろう 変わらないな 空も星も その泣き顔も っていつか君と また笑えますように
そりゃ色々あっただろう 今もあるだろう でも笑いながら生きていく 「それが人世だ」って
そんな単細胞になれたなら どれだけ良いかって 過ぎ去っていく日々に意味はない なら明日の僕は僕じゃない そんな筈はないだろう
泣いていたって空は晴れるよ 君が濡らしたって滲まないほど あがいていたって空は星を降らすから まぁ、生きていくよ
I know this sky loves you いずれ全て 変わってしまったって 空は青いだろう! 忘れないさ でもまた出逢えますように って生きて征くよ 君は笑っていて
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All Over Again
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Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: You're drunk. Your mate is trying to get you home. Only problem is—you're really, really drunk.
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: Drinking, absolutely zero attempt to establish a pov on my part
a/n: A cute little drabble because if it all fell is making me a tiny bit sad and I love this trope <3
Main Masterlist ♡
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The world spun around you as you let out a delighted laugh, faerie wine pulsing in your veins. This was bliss, and—admittedly—the most fun you’d had in months. The workload you’d been dealt this last year was one for the books. 
“Exactly how many drinks did you have?” Feyre asked you, red and green rays lighting up her face in time with the beat inside Rita’s. 
“So many,” you yelled back, flinging your arms around her shoulders. “So many and I’m going to have more!” 
The High Lady chuckled and swayed with you as you dragged her around the dancefloor. 
This was good for you, your friends had decided, a girl’s night where you could let go of all your responsibilities and inhibitions and then sleep for a solid two days afterward. Feyre and Mor had agreed to stay relatively sober to watch over you, but Mor was just as intoxicated as you were at this point.
“Mor!” you screamed, the shout directed fully into Feyre’s ear. She flinched, but you just continued. “Mor, come here! We can all dance together!” 
The blonde was pulled into the circle of fae, but very little “dancing” took place. You were far past the level of functional inebriation. 
“We should get Azriel,” Feyre shouted over your head, trying to catch the attention of her very distracted friend. 
But Mor just laughed and asked, “Who the hell is that?” as she left the pair to join a woman in a dazzling purple dress at the bar. 
Feyre bit back a sigh, still feeling patient with the small amount of alcohol running through her. “We should go home, yeah?” she attempted, catching your clutch as it tumbled out of your hands. 
You responded with a loud, “Woo!” and Feyre knew she needed to call in reinforcements. A quick outstretch of her mind and the request was sent. 
“This is so much fun!” Your smile was infectious, Feyre replicating it unconsciously as she watched you jump around. “I love you!” you screamed at her—again, directly into her ear. 
It was a few short minutes before Azriel’s presence was felt inside the overcrowded pleasure hall. Small streams of black shadows had begun to slink around your shoulders and arms with you none the wiser to their arrival. Feyre smirked when you jumped at a hand on your back. 
“Hello, my love,” Azriel said, voice low as he bent over to relay the words. “Having fun?” 
Your responding screech had panic flashing across the spymaster’s face, the man simply watching as you threw yourself against Feyre’s chest. He sent a tentative hand out in your direction, but you only pressed further into your friend. 
“Y/n—” Azriel began. 
“I’m married,” you seethed. “I have a mate,” you doubled down. 
Azriel blinked. 
He looked around him, checking behind his tightly coiled wings and past the broad expanse of his shoulders. 
When no other fae appeared to be lurking near his mate, Azriel returned his attention to the pair in front of him, his hazel eyes meeting your piercing (but rather hazy) glare. 
“Y/n, I am… well aware that you have a mate,” he replied, shaking his head to match his slow words. 
You scoffed, sending Feyre a glance as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?” 
“Well, then you should be well aware—” A shaky, misguided finger pointed close to where Azriel was standing “—that I am not interested in you. Got that?” 
A smile paired with furrowed brows conveyed the vast array of Azriel’s current feelings. He watched as you sent him another scathing glare and turned back to your High Lady, noticing the uneven way you stood and the handful of your belongings being managed by your friend. 
“She’s had a lot to drink,” Feyre emphasized. “I’ve been trying to get her to go home but she won’t budge. I thought you’d be able to persuade her. She’s been talking about you nonstop.” 
You were maneuvered into a quieter hallway as Feyre recounted your adventures of the night, making sure to catalog each drink she saw you consume. Azriel fought back a grimace as he pictured you in the morning. You had the worst hangovers. 
“Y/n,” Feyre began, offering you an encouraging smile as you blearily blinked at her words. “Azriel’s here. Do you want to see him? He said he’d bring you home with him.” 
This time, you gasped, face betraying you as it heated with embarrassment. “You called Azriel here?” 
“Mhm, and he said he’s terribly exhausted and needs you to come home for the night.” 
You gaped. “He wants me to come home with him?” 
Standing at your back, Azriel felt his expression pucker in confusion. Hadn’t you just chastised him for flirting with you, a married woman? A married woman who was married to him? 
Feyre seemed to agree with that sentiment as she nodded and said, “Of course he does. He always wants you with him.” 
Your eyes grew wide, hands reaching out to grip Feyre’s shoulders in a serious motion. “Did you tell him?” you panicked. “Fey, you promised you wouldn’t tell him. It could ruin everything.” 
Azriel was suddenly catapulted back about 20 years to when you were too nervous to tell him you were in love with him and Azriel was too much of an idiot to tell you that you were his mate. But that time had passed, thankfully, long ago. The two of you were now very much in love, both mated and married shortly after the inner circle had meddled in your affairs. 
Looking past his disorientation, Azriel caught your wide, pleading gaze directed at Feye. 
“Y/n?” he asked, craning his neck to catch your eyes. When you slowly turned in mortification, a soft kind of adoration pulled at his chest. “Hey,” he smiled. “I’m going to take you home, alright?” 
“O-Okay,” you blushed, taking his outstretched hand in your own. “To my apartment?” 
“No, I thought we’d go to mine. That alright?” he asked, voice gravelly and low and echoing off the long hallway inside Rita’s. 
It didn't matter that you were actually going to his house. The one the two of you shared. 
Instinctually, Azriel grabbed your hand, twinning his fingers with yours and pulling you closer. You, however, so drunk that you were unsure of your current whereabouts or today's date, let out a shaky breath at the intimacy. Azriel felt your fingers tremble between his own. 
“Is this okay?” he found himself asking. 
You nodded jerkily, and Azriel relished in the feeling of falling in love with you all over again. It was an immensely better experience than you pushing him away and accusing him of preying on married women. 
His married woman, but that was beside the point. 
A few steps in silence. You shivered with the rush of cool air outside the pleasure hall. Azriel shifted his wings out, enveloping you in their warmth. 
“Um,” you began, fiddling with his fingers as they rested beside yours. “It’s really nice of you to walk me home.” 
His heart was going to burst. Seeing you, his mate, so shy and reserved and hopelessly enamored by him in such a public way was endlessly endearing. 
“Of course. I would never let you walk home alone,” he replied evenly. And then, to spice things up, he added, “I told you I would always protect you. I meant that.” 
“You said th—” 
You whipped your head to the side as you spoke, losing your balance with the alcohol coursing through you. Your feet fumbled over each other and Azriel caught your hip to deter you from making a full-on beeline for the ground. After he was sure you were not going to plummet to your death, he tucked your hair back from your face. 
“You are my mate,” he said, so assuredly. It was a truth ingrained within him. “I will always walk you home.” 
Your eyes went wide, fingers wrapped tightly around his arms as he held you. You held eye contact with your mate, a feat in and of itself with the state of your head, and he watched as your tongue came out to wet your lips. 
And then, just because he could—because you were his and because you probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning—he whispered, “I love you.” 
The sharp intake of breath that followed his words was apparently too much for your alcohol-addled brain. You let out a small squeak, blinked at him several times, and then, you fainted. Directly into your mate's arms. 
Azriel carried you home (the one you two shared, to clarify yet again), silently laughing to himself, feeling quite smug at the outcome that night. 20 years and he still felt the same. 20 years and he was still in disbelief that he got to walk you home. 
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captainfern · 8 months
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hi cap ily sm
pls price x reader x graves smut 😛
With The Lights Out
Captain John Price x fem!reader x Commander Phillip Graves
["With the Lights Out" boxset by Nirvana]
[18+]
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• summary - price and graves don't have anything in common. except, of course, their attraction to you lol. • rating - 18+ • wordcount - 4.3k • warnings - fem!reader, all porn literally zero plot, this is nasty guys fr, threesome, reader goes to paris, possessive!price, possessive!graves, oral [f!&m!receiving], fingering, unprotected piv, cumplay idk, double penetration [2 in 1 *wink wink*], creampies, a competitive breeding kink from both men lmao, price has a sir kink, graves has a corruption kink, both men are whipped, praise, degradation, strong language, their last names are used because i find it hot ok? don't judge me 😭
i'm going to hell
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Price and Graves had virtually nothing in common. They butted heads on the scale of authority, and both had very different ideas on how to run successful missions.
But there was one thing they agreed on.
You.
And for some reason, by the grace of the universe, they ended up agreeing on that one thing very well.
One moment, you were in your bedroom, both your captain and commander entering to talk you through certain topics they said had been playing on their minds as of late. It turns out that those certain topics involved you being shared by both of them.
Completely naked, you lay on your bed with a thin sheen of sweat across your skin. Your upper body was propped up against Price's lap, who had one hand groping your breasts, twisting your nipples between his calloused fingers. His other hand cupped your jaw, his forefinger and middle finger in your mouth. Saliva dribbled from the corners, down your chin in glistening streams, as Price's fingers pressed down against your tongue. You murmured moans around his digits while your legs twitched, hiked over Graves' shoulders.
Graves was between your legs, two hands gripping the fat of your thighs, kneading the flesh as his tongue worked in and out of your sopping cunt. He grunted with each thrust of his tongue, his nose bumping against your puffy clit, the vibrations of his grunting making your legs tremble more.
Price shushed you gently. He was still in his boxers, but you could feel the outline of his hardened cock against your upper back. You arched your back at the feeling, and he squeezed at your tits harder, making you mewl around his fingers.
The reason Price had his fingers in your mouth was so that Graves couldn't hear how good he was making you feel. Jealously stirred inside his chest when you moaned loudly when the commander sucked your clit, his tongue between your folds making you babble his name so beautifully. Price used his position to his advantage and gagged you with his fingers, continuing to grope at your pretty tits.
That didn't deter Graves though– who continued lapping at your wet cunt, maintaining as much eye contact as he could. He held your gaze as he fucked his tongue in and out, dragging your orgasm closer and closer. You whined around Price's fingers, hips bucking, nudging Graves' face further into you. Graves moaned, the vibrations sending you over the edge.
You came, eyes rolling back in your head, thighs clamping around Graves' head. He licked you through it, tongue not leaving you until you were whimpering, thighs trembling in his hold. Price praised you gently, rubbing the mounds of your breasts gently as Graves pulled his face away from you.
The American, face glistening with your arousal, locked eyes with Price and licked his lips, a triumphant smirk on his face. Price grunted, removing his fingers from your mouth, before leaning over and kissing you.
You whimpered into the kiss as Price shoved his tongue past the seam of your lips, coaxing more and more little noises from your throat. He held your face to his, angling it so Graves could get a good look. Price opened his eyes, looking to the side and directly at Graves as he smoothed his tongue against yours, drawing more light moans from you.
"That's how you want to do it, huh?" Graves grunted at Price, gently removing your legs from his shoulders.
He rubbed his hands up and down your legs, massaging the muscles of your calves and thighs, then moving up to squeeze the flesh of your arse. You hummed contentedly into Price's mouth at the feeling of Graves' hands on you, pushing and pulling at your warm skin.
"S'that feel good, baby?" Graves asked, his hands beneath the curve of your arse, gripping the backs of your thighs. He leaned forward to press kisses to your tummy, sucking at the soft skin just below your navel.
Graves watched you try to pull out of the kiss to reply, but Price grumbled low in his throat, holding your jaw tightly and sliding your mouth back to his. You moaned into the kiss, but it was muffled, and Graves couldn't help but grow annoyed.
He sat back on his heels as Price kissed you, kneaded your breasts– that, for the record, were covered in Graves' spit from about ten minutes earlier. The American slowly spread your legs once more, moaning under his breath at the sight of your glistening cunt, all pretty and puffy after he'd made you come in his mouth. He licked his lips, still tasting you.
Graves pulled his boxers down, managing to kick them away while still kneeling on the bed. He gripped his hard cock, the tip red and beading with pre-cum. He hissed lowly, pumping himself, more pre-cum dribbling from his slit and down his length. He was so fucking hard it almost hurt.
Gently, he crawled back between your legs as you and Price made out. He had to admit, it was a pretty sight, but it'd be a whole lot prettier if he could just hear you.
So, of course, he had a plan.
Graves gripped his cock and guided the head to your cunt. He dragged the tip up through your slick folds, tapping it against your clit and smearing his pre over it.
His plan worked– you ripped yourself away from Price's eager mouth and moaned loudly, followed by whimpered mewls of Graves as the commander continued to rub his cock up and down your folds. Price tried to chase your mouth again, but you turned your head so you could watch Graves rut himself against your core.
"You're so wet, aren't you, baby? Yeah? You feel that?" Graves asked with a coy smile, circling the head of his cock against your swollen clit. Wet sounds elicited from your core, and it made you whimper out for him again. He hummed, pleased, dragging his cock down to press the head to your hole, circling that as well. You moaned, and Price had had enough of that.
"And who said you get to fuck her first, eh?" He challenged, threading his arms beneath your armpits and hoisting you further up the bed. You gasped out as he pulled you against him until you were sitting in his lap.
Graves grit his teeth, the warmth of your cunt literally dragged away from him. His cock, still fisted in his hand, glistened wet with your arousal. The sight made you wriggle in Price's lap, grinding his own erection against your arse. He hissed, dipping his head to attach his lips to your shoulder.
"I think the pretty girl can decide that for herself, can't she?" Graves quipped, and began moving up the bed again. He closed in on you where you sat all pretty and desperate in Price's lap. "Can't you, baby?" He whispered, then kissed you gently, lips moving slowly against yours. You could taste yourself when the tip of his tongue swiped along your lips.
You nodded carefully as Graves' kissed your mouth and Price kissed along the curve of your bare shoulder. Graves pulled back, eyes taking in every inch of your face.
"I want both." You whined out as Price sucked at the hot skin beneath your ear. He chuckled, and so did Graves, who leaned back towards you to brush his lips against yours, featherlight.
"Can't have both yet, pretty girl," he said. "Just gotta have one cock to stretch you out first, okay? An' you want me to do that? Want me to stretch out this pretty pussy, hm?"
Price removed his mouth from your neck. "She didn't say that, Graves, you fucking prick. Let her speak."
You all but ignored Price, moaning out at Graves' words. You leaned forward to kiss him, just as you felt two fingers weasel beneath your legs and prod at your dripping hole.
Price pushed two fingers inside you from where he had you sat in his lap. He grunted, the tight heat of your cunt sucking his fingers in as he sunk all the way to the knuckle. He placed kisses along your neck as he dragged his fingers in and out as Graves kissed you. Price could see him gripping tightly at the base of his cock.
"Mmmygodddd–" You whined into Graves' mouth as Price fucked you with his fingers, adding a third. His other hand moved over your leg this time, his middle finger collecting your arousal from your inner thighs and circling your clit.
He pinched it gently, and you sobbed into Graves' mouth, your lips going lax. Graves pulled back to see Price's fingers thrusting in and out of you. His jaw clenched.
"Who do you want first, sweetheart?" Price asked you, eyes flicking up to Graves, who was now fisting his cock, watching Price finger you.
"Mmm..." You hummed out, about to make an answer. Price curled his fingers inside you, pressing into your g-spot with just the right amount of pressure to have you crying out, head falling back against his shoulder. "Fuck, fuck– you, Price, please–"
Price smiled at Graves. Graves rolled his eyes.
Price kissed you one last time on the neck. "Want you to come 'round my fingers first."
You did– your orgasm rippling through you like static, making your whole body tremble against him. You came around his fingers, milking the digits tight and making Price groan out.
"Good girl, there you go..." He muttered, removing his fingers with a slick squelch, shining wet.
Cocky, he looked over at Graves and then held his three fingers towards him, crooking them in a come here motion. Graves bared his teeth in disapproval.
"Don't fucking push it." Graves hissed, but Price persisted, keeping his fingers held out towards the American's face. Graves sneered, but knowing just how good your pussy tasted on his tongue made his cock jump in his hand. He groaned, Price's glistening fingers directly in line with his mouth, tempting. Then, he gave in, opening his mouth for Price to shove his fingers in.
On any other day, it would have been absolutely demoralising for the commander. But, not only was the taste of you on Price's fingers enough for his stomach to twist with his looming orgasm, you released the prettiest sound he'd ever heard. You moaned, so breathy and desperate, as you watched Graves suck your arousal from Price's fingers.
Your core throbbed, the veil of overstimulation lifting. Your clit pulsed in time with your rapid heartbeat, and you found yourself grinding into Price's lap. Price nodded, pleased, at Graves, a subtle smile on his lips. Then, he yanked his fingers free and pet Graves on the cheek, saliva smearing across the scar on the Americans cheek. Graves sneered and slapped Price's hand away, but his pupils were blown wide, his cock leaking pearl after pearl of precum.
"Fuck you." Graves grit out, but Price ignored it. Instead, he shifted the scene– instructing Graves to the head of the bed and positioning you on your hands and knees. You sunk slightly into the mattress, but Price held you up, his hands on your hips as he positioned himself behind you.
He rid himself of his boxers as Graves settled you between his legs. The commander placed one hand on the back of your neck, the other guiding his cock to your lips. He smeared pre across your closed lips, and you stuck out your tongue to press it into his slit. Graves grumbled some praise before you were wrapping your lips around the reddened tip.
"Oh, fuck, there you go, good girl, baby," Graves praised, squeezing the back of your neck gently. "That's it, wrap that pretty mouth 'round my cock."
Meanwhile, Price was lining his cock up with your cunt, wet with your two orgasms, arousal dripping down your inner thighs. The sight made his brain short-circuit, and he found himself beginning to push into you with no warning. Your slick walls sucked him in so perfectly, making him groan lowly the entire time he pushed inside you.
You moaned around Graves' cock, eyes fluttering closed, your arse backing up in an attempt to make Price hurry up. But the captain continued his slow push in– dropping half of his body across yours, pressing warm kisses to your spine. Finally, with a leisurely snap of his hips, he buried himself to the hilt inside you, cock settled up against your cervix.
Again, you moaned around Graves' cock, whose hand on the back of your neck tightened further. That made you moan, too.
Price panted against your spine. "God, y'taking my cock so well, sweetheart."
You whimpered. Graves pressed you further down onto his cock until your nose pressed up against the light-coloured hair at the base. His tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag. Graves pulled you back, and then repeated the action a few more times, each time groaning your name for just the two of you to hear.
"Yeah, that's it, baby, suck your commander's cock," Graves whispered to you, other hand stroking the side of your face– so tender, so loving. Maybe that was the corruption kink talking. "You like gagging on your commander's cock, don't you? Naughty fucking thing."
For emphasis, his hips bucked again. You gagged, tears springing to your eyes. One fell, rolling down your cheek, but Graves caught it and wiped it away with his thumb. He continued to hold the back of your neck, guiding you up and down as you sucked his cock.
Price wasn't fucking you as slow anymore. Once he had passed the initial threshold of stretching you around him, he had simply pulled back out and then thrusted all the way back in. His hips slapped against you arse, forcing you forward and making you take more of the commander's cock down your throat. You gagged. Graves groaned.
You could hardly breathe, the pleasure coursing through you rendering you breathless.
Price fucked into you, deep and rough, abusing your cervix and making your eyes roll as light degradation fell from his lips. "Needy fucking whore, taking two cocks, eh? Needs her mouth and her tight cunt fucking stuffed to be happy. Dirty girl... fucking needy."
Graves guided you to suck his cock, gentle but firm, rubbing the tears from your cheeks with soft coos of praise. "You're doin' so well, baby, an' you look so fucking gorgeous, you know that? Lookin' so pretty takin' both our cocks, an' you're doin' so good, too. Fuck–"
God, the drawl of his accent was driving you insane. Price's gruff voice was doing much the same, and it had your cunt fluttering around his cock as your orgasm brewed heavy and rich in the base of your tummy.
Price groaned, pulling your hips back to meet his thrusts. "Can feel you fucking squeezing me. You wanna come?"
You hummed your reply with Graves' cock down your throat. Graves hissed out, the hand on your neck tightening again.
Price grumbled, happy and blissed-out. "Yeah, 'course you do. So fucking needy for it. Go on then. Come 'round my cock."
You tried to moan his name, but it was forced back down your throat by the head of Graves' cock. Instead, you just whined, mumbled and hoarse, as you came around Price. Your cunt squeezed him tight as you came, your thighs shaking– you would have probably collapsed onto the bed if he wasn't holding you up against him. Your arousal dripped down your thighs, fucked out of you by the girth of Price's cock, and you could feel the tiny streams reach the sides of your bent knees.
"So messy..." Price tutted, leaning back and admiring your backside as he fucked into your cunt.
Price's words made Graves grit his teeth, balls tightening and cock twitching deep in your mouth. He held you down against his pelvis, drool threatening to leak out past the corner of your lips again, as he whimpered above you.
"Gonna come, gonna come," he whispered, his whiny tone making your clit pulse. "Oh fucking hell, m'coming, baby–"
He pulled back just enough to release properly inside your mouth, rather than right down the back of your throat. His cum filled your mouth and you rounded your cheeks to take more as you felt him twitching against your tongue. He kept his semi-hard length inside your mouth and pressed a thumb to the corner of your lips.
"Don't swallow yet." He said, pushing a dribble of his spend back into your mouth.
Price wasn't far behind, either– with a guttural moan of your name, it took everything in him to pull out in time. He came across your arsecheeks and lower back, painting your skin white. Mouth full, you whimpered at the warm splatter across your backside.
"Fucking hell..." Price collapsed beside you on the bed, one arm resting across your lower back. He ran his fingers through his cum, smearing it against the fat of your arse and thighs.
But Graves wasn't close to being done. Quickly but gently, he pulled his cock out of your mouth and you kept your mouth closed as he manhandled you into a sitting position. He twisted you around so your back was pressed to his front, and he could tuck his chin against your shoulder, his cock already hardening against you.
"Don't tell me you're tired already, Price." Graves quipped as he slowly ground you down onto his lap, much like Price had done before. Except this time, you could feel his cock against your bare arse, and it made you shudder, cunt dripping against him.
Price grunted, then sat up. "Not a fucking chance." He positioned himself in front of you, and you felt hot with the way both men looked down at you, sandwiching you between them.
Just as you were wondering why you still had a mouth full of Graves' cum, you got your answer. Graves' cupped your jaw, thumb on one cheek, four fingers on the other cheek. He angled your face up to look Price in the eyes, and then he slowly, slowly applied pressure to your cheeks. You whined out quietly as your lips were pushed just slightly open and strings of his cum began leaking out.
Price's mouth dropped open as he watched, dribbles of white mixed in with your saliva pooling down your chin and dripping down your tits. He groaned, his cock twitching again. He gripped it and began pumping himself.
"Lick it off." Graves said simply, his dark tone making your eyelids droop and your stomach flutter. What made it even better was that he wasn't talking to you.
Price eyed Graves with dark, calculating eyes. You imagined Graves was giving him a similar challenging look.
Graves pressed his fingers harder into your cheeks, pushing more of his cum out of your mouth. As he did so, he was smoothly rubbing his cock through your sensitive folds.
Price didn't say anything, and didn't move.
Graves lifted you slightly and lined his cock up with your hole. Without breaking eye contact with the captain, he began placing wet, messy kisses along your neck.
"Lick it off while I stuff her with my cock." He whispered, then nipped at your earlobe, making you whine again.
Price conceded without more than a growl, leaning forward to run his tongue along the tops of your breasts. You moaned at the feeling. Graves removed his hand from your face, instead holding– not choking– your neck as he bucked his hips and shoved his cock inside you in one solid thrust.
You choked on a moan when the head of his cock hit the same place as Price's, knocking up against the plug of your womb. Price dragged his tongue away from your breasts and over your chin, his facial hair tickling your face. He licked up the mess on your lower face, before kissing you roughly. It was all teeth, tongue and spit. You could taste Graves and yourself still on Price's tongue.
"You think you can take two now, sweetheart?" Price asked you calmly once he pulled out of the kiss. He was spreading your legs further, getting a clear view of the way Graves rutted up into your hole. "You think this tight hole can take two cocks?"
You nodded deliriously, desperately. Price chuckled at your eagerness, then lined himself up alongside Graves. The American stopped, balls deep inside you as the head of Price's cock pressed to your entrance.
"Fuck, please, please, I need you, sir." You begged, and Price moaned loudly, ducking to kiss you again. He ran his hand along your inner thighs, collecting your arousal in his palm, before fisting his cock and spreading it. Cock slick, he slowly began easing into you.
"That's a good girl, call me sir when I'm filling this tight cunt." Price whispered, one hand on your thigh, the other on his cock as he fed more into your tight hole. Pushed up against Graves', his cock reached your womb.
You moaned loudly, probably the loudest of the night. You felt so full. They were both so deep inside you.
Both Graves and Price responded with their own grunts and groans of pleasure as everyone paused for a moment, adjusting to the fit.
"Fucking Christ you're tight." Price muttered. Graves didn't say anything. He just nosed at your pulse beneath your ear, breathing hard against your skin.
You were growing hot. And impatient.
You squirmed in their holds. "Please move."
They moved. It took a tense, testosterone-laced moment to get the rhythm right, but both men got it. Each time Price moved out, Graves was thrusting in and each time Graves moved out, Price was rutting into you. They worked like a well-oiled machine, never leaving your hole empty.
You were in heaven– dizzy off the pleasure, mind fuzzy and vision blurry. Your body was on fire, but in the best way possible, nerve-endings tingling as you were fucked by both men. You could feel them in your stomach.
Graves had one hand around your neck still, the other now on one of your breasts, rolling a peaked nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He continued to kiss and lick at your sweat-slick skin, up and down your neck, whimpering against you with each thrust.
"You feel good, baby?" He asked.
You whined out a “yesssss–!”
"Mhm, yeah, feels good getting fucked by your commander and captain, don't it? Feels good getting this pretty pussy fucked by your bosses..." He finished his sentence with a moan into the curve of your neck, skimming his teeth against you.
Price, with both hands on your hips, moved one hand to press against the mound of your tummy, pressing deep enough to make you moan.
"Fucking you so deep, sweetheart," Price whispered, panting. "You feel that? You feel us both in this pretty tummy?"
Your answer was a high-pitched moan. You were already so close–
"Aw, you wanna come, pretty girl?" Graves asked the question, a whisper in your ear.
You nodded, one of each of your arms scrambling to hold onto them and keep yourself grounded.
“That’s it, ‘atta girl.” Graves said, with Price adding a deep, “Come ‘round our cocks, sweetheart.”
You came around their cocks with moans of both of their names, followed by babbling whimpers as the pleasure rolled over you in deep waves. You felt your own release gush out around them, drenching the bed covers, your body trembling unbearably hot.
Both Price and Graves groaned.
"Fuck, fuck, m'close..." Graves whimpered into your neck, rutting into you desperately.
Price was much the same, each of his thrusts becoming sloppier, his hands gripping your hips for balance, as to not topple over his orgasm too soon– not before Graves, anyway.
But Graves had other ideas.
"Fuck, m'gonna come first, fill you up first. How's that sound, baby?" He asked you, words slurred around his impending orgasm. "You want me to stuff this pretty pussy full'a my babies? Hm? Wanna make me proud? Wanna make me a daddy, baby?"
You mewled, biting your lip. "Graves, oh my god–"
Fuck that, Price thought.
"No, no, you want me, don't you, sweetheart? You want your captain to come deep in your tight cunt. Want your captain's babies in this pretty tummy."
You were so dizzy. "P-Price, fuck–"
Graves growled into your neck, and then came with a guttural groan of your name. He stuffed his cock deep inside you and came right up against your cervix, flooding your womb with his seed. He groaned and grunted against your neck, whispering your name over and over as he came.
Price, too high on pleasure to feel annoyed, thrust deeply once, twice more, then came inside you too. He shoved his cock in beside Graves, stretching you out and spilling into you. His head fell forward, onto the opposite shoulder to Graves, and he grunted your name through gritted teeth as he filled your womb.
You stuttered, whimpering at the sensation, feeling so warm and full. Your eyes closed, and you slumped against them, their cum trapped inside you. Neither of them made any attempt to move, just breathing hard against you.
"You alright, sweetheart?" Price asked as Graves pressed kisses to your neck, jaw and cheek.
"Yeah..." You breathed, heart calming. "Really good..."
"Good girl," Graves whispered, massaging your now sore breasts with tentative fingers. "Let me run you a bath. How's that sound?"
"Good..." You hummed. "After... after one more round."
Graves just groaned and Price chuckled against your shoulder. "Christ, sweetheart, you'll be the death of us, won't you?"
•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•
happy october 1st whores
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empty-movement · 6 months
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Chiho Saito’s 1999 Revolutionary Girl Utena Original Illustration Collection
IT’S HERE. IT’S DONE. IT’S FINISHED. NOW…IT’S YOURS. Happy Holidays, my friends.
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Vanna here! I have posted some already about this project, and the responses I got, public and otherwise, have been absolutely incredible. Y’all have been reblogging and hyping this before it even finished…I haven’t felt so encouraged about an Utena project since the musicals! (Yes, streams soon, I promise.) You can read the other post to get more details, and catch my post here with more details about the process if you’re interested. The long and short of it?
This is the first artbook I ever scanned. I did it in 2001. In Photoshop, using multiple scans per page that took hours to process. But it was 2001. A half megabyte file that was 1250px wide was considered extremely hardcore and impressive. That’s just always been the business I’m in when it comes to Utena art, you know? 
It’s now the latest artbook I’ve scanned, and so much of the process, and effort involved, is unchanged. What has changed, is the result. Welcome to your new desktop background. Your new phone background. Your new poster print. 
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What I’ve done here is attempt to create definitive digitized images of Chiho Saito’s work as offered by this book--I have removed the print moiré of the original scans, and used my literal decades of experience to try and tease out as much information from them as possible. Without being physically in front of the original artwork (which is a thing I’ve had the great fortune to get to do) this is The Most Chiho Saito you are ever going to get. I’ve tried my best to make sure there is a way to get it that works for everyone:
Do you just wanna scope 'em out? Look at some disaster gays? Grab your favorite one or two? This is the path for you! Check out the ‘compressed’ (not very) 10k ‘web friendly’ (not really) copy at the Bibliothèque, the media archiving wing of the Something Eternal forums at Empty Movement*. All the following links are also available from here. Do you want these copies? All of them? Don't just grab them individually, friend. This batch is 375MB and can be downloaded as a zip of the individual files here on our Google Drive.
Do you like digital archiving? Are you looking for a copy that preserves the archival quality of the effort but sits nice and comfy in a single file? This is for you. A minimally compressed 10k, 513MB version worked into a PDF is now up, shiny and chrome, on the Internet Archive. Do you like the idea of the minimal compression, but want the individual files in a zip? Yep I did that too, here's the drive link.
Are you looking to print these in a larger size? This is probably the only reason on Earth you’d ever want them, and yet a bunch of you are going to go straight for these. Here are the zero-compression JPG full size copies, most of them are 15k across, like simply a ridiculous size. Pick your fave and download it from our Google Drive! 
I am genuinely really proud of this work.** I was able to tease out so much new detail from these…her incredible layering techniques, the faintest brush of her highlights, and the full range of her delicate hand at whites and blacks… details commonly lost in digitization. I sincerely hope you find something here that you’re looking for, as an artist looking for inspiration, as a weeb looking for a desktop, as an archiver excited to see incredible 90s manga artwork saved forever in the digital realm. I feel like I have already said so much about them, and could keep going, but you know what? This work speaks for itself. Enjoy, use, explore, and definitely tell us what you think!
We love y’all. ~ Vanna & Yasha
* AHEM ASTERISK AHEM
You might be wondering what any of that is. Something Eternal? Biblewhatawhat??? EmptyMovement.com? You might even have done a double take at the word ‘forum.’ And you should!!!
I have a confession. This artbook was my ‘side project’ as I worked on this, *the main project.* For a couple years I’ve been banging around with a new domain, and originally I had other plans for it, but Elon Musk ruined my Twitter and Discord is well along on its way to enshittification, and well….we joke on the Discord a lot about ‘reject modernity, embrace forums’ and you know what? We’re right. So Yasha and I are putting our money where our mouths are once again, and doing something insane. We are launching, in 2023, a website forum. Obviously, this is not the official ‘launch’ per se, but I cannot announce the artbook without directing you to the forum, since it sits on the attached very cool gallery system. Oops! Told on myself. Another post more focused on the forum will be forthcoming, but if you are just that motivated to get in right away, you absolutely can! (This will help stagger new arrivals anyway, which is good for us!) If you would rather wait for the ‘official’ launch, by all means that’s coming, including a lengthy screed about how and why we’re doing this. In either case, remember: this is a couple weebs trying to make internet magic happen, we are not website developers by trade. Give us grace as we iron things out and grow into this cool new website thingie…hopefully along with some of you! :D
If you do join up, naturally, there is a thread about this project!
** If you like this kind of content, consider helping us pay for it! We do have a Patreon! If you’re wanting to use these in some public-facing distributive way, all we ask is for credit back to Empty Movement (ohtori.nu or emptymovement.com, either will work.) 
I would like to say ‘don’t just slap these files on RedBubble to get easy money’ but I know that saying this won’t effectively prevent it. Y’all that do that suck, but you’re not worth letting it rain on the rest of this parade. :)
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tkingfisher · 1 year
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Right! Apropos another post, let’s talk about lawn crayfish aka The Lobsters Beneath Our Feet!
This is Craw-Bob. He’s about three and a half inches long.
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Long ago, when I had only gardened in the Southeast for a year or two, I saw an interesting hole in a flowerbed. It was rather deep and had a muddy front porch. I gazed into this hole, thinking “Ooh! Is it a rodent? A snake? A toad?”
And then I saw…the Claw.
It was unmistakably a crustacean claw. And it was in a hole in my yard. My terrestrial yard! Why was there a crustacean in my flowerbed?!
I could not have been more astounded if an octopus tentacle had come flopping out. I ran screaming for my husband and the internet, both of whom said “Yeah, that’s a lawn crayfish, they do that.”
And yes. There are about 400 species of crayfish* in North America, and a not inconsiderable number of them are burrowing species. The devil crayfish, which builds little mud towers, ranges from the Rockies to the Atlantic and as far north as Ontario. There are a number of other species as well. Some are limited to stream banks, but many burrow in lawns, flowerbeds, and other places with consistently damp soil, which means that there is a non-zero chance that when you wander around the grass, a tiny lobster is lurking somewhere beneath your feet.
You would think that more people would know this, but at no point in my life had anyone ever mentioned it to me.
Being me, I immediately set out to determine if other people knew about lawn crayfish and I had just somehow missed it. I took an informal poll—by which I mean I accosted random strangers at the farmer’s market, the coffee shop, and my doctor’s office—and discovered a stark divide. Half the people looked at me like I was telling them I’d seen a lawn chupacabra and the other half looked at me like I’d asked if they’d ever heard of squirrels.
It was not divided by social class or education. The farmer with the heirloom breed hogs knew about them, his wife did not. My nurse practitioner first thought I was hallucinating, then went out into the clinic, and began demanding to know if her co-workers had heard of this. My barista was like “Yeah, mudbugs,” but he’s from Florida, so may not count.
My theory is that if you know they’re there, it’s just a fact of life so obvious that you don’t bother to comment on it, and if you don’t—well, why would you ever assume that any given hole in the ground comes from a goddamn MINI LOBSTER? And since they mostly just hang out underground during the day and don’t really hurt anything, it just doesn’t come up very often, until one day you’re at the farmer’s market, just trying to sell some organic tomatoes, and a wild-eyed woman with a Studio Ghibli T-shirt descends on you yelling “Are you aware of lawn crayfish?!”
(Yes, they’re edible, but it’s a lot of work popping them individually out of their burrows.)
During torrential rains, they will often leave their burrows and wander around, which is how I got the photos of Craw-Bob. My hound spotted him in the garden and poked him with her nose, whereupon Craw-Bob poked back. Hound, not sure what was happening but that it was probably bad, began doing her “release the humans!” alarm bark, and I came out to find her toe to toe with a crustacean who was waving its claws and presumably screaming “Come on if you think you’re hard enough!” in Lobster.
Despite their willingness to fight everything, they’re pretty harmless. The most they do is move soil from underground to a little pile above. I’m sure golf courses hate them. Our local county extension office suggests “These nonprolific creatures should be appreciated like an interesting bird or turtle living on the property.” Some, like the Greensboro burrowing crayfish, are so rare they were thought to be extinct until somebody found one in the backyard.
So. Lawn crayfish. They exist! And could be lurking underfoot as we speak!
*or crawfish, depending on where you’re from.
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