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Uchouten Kazoku 2, chapter 2 (part 2 out of 4)

Shogi, shogi and more shogi.

The Eccentric Family: The Nidaime’s Homecoming (Uchouten Kazoku: Nidaime no Kichou) by Morimi Tomihiko

Chapter 2 (part 2/4, pages 83-99)

〇

Nanzenji temple was an ancient temple of Soto school of Zen Buddhism located in the heart of the Higashiyama mountains.

The Nanzenji family's territory was the forest stretching from Nanzenji temple up.

About 80 years ago, in the chilly writing alcove of the temple, an Osaka shogi player by the name of Sakata Sankichi [*1] played off against shogi players from Tokyo. That match was known as the Nanzenji Showdown. Even I, as ignorant as I was about shogi, knew how Sakata Sankichi, previously silent for a long time, gave them a shock of a lifetime with an odd move known as 'pushing the right edge pawn'. Their game that had lasted for 7 days was dreadfully vicious, and even the tanuki of Nanzenji who watched it were left overwhelmed by it.

Even if the legend of the three Nanzenji siblings being taught shogi personally by Sakata Sankichi lacked credibility, it appeared that the fact that that 7 day game was what awakened the Nanzenji clan to shogi was true. Ever since, the Nanzenji family became passionate shogi fans who did everything in their power to popularize shogi in the tanuki world. The reason why our father picked up shogi in his youth was because the previous head of the Nanzenji clan taught him the basics.

Following the instructions from the Nanzenji tanuki, the tanuki on the premises started moving, walking with their paper lanters in hand.

Passing the Nanzenji waterway standing out in the darkness, they climbed the stone steps from where the purl of the streaming water in the Biwako canal could be heard. Swallowed by the looming shadow of the Higashiyama mountains, the area was so humid it was difficult to breathe. Overlooking the garden of Nanzenin, the lantern procession went through a grove of dark cedar trees. From the front of the line, Yasaka Heitarou's laughing voice could be heard, and someone tooted a trumpet.

My eldest brother was vigilantly looking all around as he walked.

"I don't see Kinkaku and Ginkaku."

The great turmoil that had shaken the tanuki world last year had ended with the head of the Ebisugawa family, Ebisugawa Souun, who controlled the factory producing Fake Denki Bran [*2] for many years and stuffed his own pockets, losing his standing. The whereabouts of Souun, who had taken away all his fortune with him, to this date remained unknown, but there were rumors that he made himself comfortable at a hot spring.

Thus, the most idiotic brothers in the whole tanuki world, that is, Kinkaku and Ginkaku, took over running the factory, replacing Souun, and when everyone thought that this might be it for the long-standing and honorable moonshine that was Fake Denki Bran, a shrewd operator, namely Souun's youngest daughter Kaisei, appeared out of nowhere like a meteor [*3] and took up the reins of her idiot brothers. Said brothers were frequently seen on the night streets in tears weeping that "Kaizei chewed us out".

"They obviously have no slightest interest in shogi. They're idiots, after all." "They were mighty sulky after their crushing defeat in the preliminaries, but said they would come to participate in the main tournament anyway. Kaisei provided Fake Denki Bran for refreshments, so it won't do for us to completely exclude the Ebisugawa family from the tournament." "If they're up to no good, I'm ready to take up the gauntlet." "Spare me the off-the-shogi-board fighting, will you."

Before long, we came out to a clearing in the woods.

An impressive bonfire burning bright in one corner of the forest cast light onto a gigantic shogi board several dozens of tatami mats in size and built in the center of the clearing. It was to become the stage for tonight's matches. On the three sides of it, there were put tiered audience seats, and before it stood a long table, tightly packed with simmering oden pots, rows of countless onigiri enough to be dizzied by, and alluringly sparkling large bottles of Fake Denki Bran, shamelessly enticing the assembled tanuki.

The head of the Nanzenji family and Gyokuran's older brother Shoujirou stepped forward, dressed in a traditional Japanese attire.

"I would like to heartily thank all of you who came to the Nanzenji Shogi tournament today. After Shimogamo Souichirou's passing, this tournament has been on hold for a long time, unavoidable though it was, but today, thanks to everyone's kind support, we are opening it again. I pray that this time this tournament will remain annual for years to come. Additionally, I would also like to express our special gratitude to Ebisugawa Kaisei-sama for her enormous contribution."

The tanuki who'd already filled their cups gave a loud cheer.

"Hooray for tanuki shogi! Hooray for Fake Denki Bran!"

As if they were purposefully waiting for the precise moment when those shouts of joy would resound, a procession of black-clad English gentlemen with paper lanterns suddenly appeared. The name on the lanterns read 'Ebisugawa'. Kinkaku, in a top silk hat vulgary glittering with gold, seemed to be basking in the 'Hooray for Fake Denki Bran' cheers with an air of smugness and arrogance. Behind him, Ginkaku, in a similarly glittering top silk hat of silver, also looked very pleased with himself.

"Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you've been expecting us. I'm your Kinkaku." "And I'm Ginkaku you've been waiting for."

"Hell no, we haven't!" I heckled, and the assembled tanuki burst out laughing as one, the forest around buzzing with liveliness. Kinkaku's plump cheeks trembled, and he glared at me. He and Ginkaku then pulled their eyelids down and stuck their tongues at me, and I reciprocated with the same.

Tanuki shogi of Nanzenji temple was something that my father and the previous head of the Nanzenji family invented. That said, the rules themselves were no different from the so-called 'Human shogi' that humans play. What differed was that tanuki put their shapeshifting techniques to use to transform into huge shogi pieces. Players would take the position of the king on each side with a small shogi board at hand while the transformed tanuki would move across the board in accordance with their directions. This was quite a magnificent view if I ever saw one, but at the same time, there was no denying it was also equally stupid.

Nanzenji Shoujirou called out the names of two participants out of those who had won through the preliminary tournament.

"For the Western Army, Nanzenji Gyokuran."

Nanzanji Gyokuran, dressed in traditional Japanese clothing, appeared and bowed to the present in greeting.

"For the Eastern Army, Shimogamo Yajirou."

Together with Shoujirou's call of his name, my second elder brother drew himself up in my hands.

"Wow! It's Beauty and the Frog!" someone commented, and the tanuki burst out laughing again.

My mother and Yashirou heaped oden on their plates and went to the spectator seats. Me and my eldest brother placed Yajirou on a zabuton and carried him to the king's position on the shogi board. "Just relax and take it nice and easy," tried I to get him to relax, but our eldest only piled up more pressure, "Protect the honor of the Shimogamo family. Psyche yourself up and give it your all". "You two say totally opposite things, you know," our frog brother smiled wryly.

As we were busy disputing like this, Nanzenji Gyokuran walked up to us from the enemy camp.

"Yaichirou-san, good everning."

Our eldest stood at attention.

"Good evening, Gyokuran." "I would like to thank you for all your hard work for the sake of this tournament. It is thanks to you, Yaichirou-san, that this day came to pass." "You are too kind. I'm relieved to see this happen, as well."

Gyokuran then smiled at my frog brother. "I will not go easy on you, Yajirou-kun."

Watching her return to her own camp, my second elder brother said, "Gyokuran seems sad because you chose not to participate, nii-san." "I'm basically a novice. Even if I did enter, I wouldn't be able to get past the preliminaries. There's no way I'm qualified to be Gyokuran's opponent."

Back when my brother and Gyokuran were both Akadama-sensei's pupils, in addition to chasing about the mischievous boys, they would often face off from the opposite sides of the shogi board. That is, they studied shogi together, but as time went by, the difference in their ability became progressively more obvious.

And so my eldest brother, having his pride crushed by Gyokuran, left those deep teeth marks on our father's shogi board.

〇

When it comes to shogi, there are no useless pieces, and those who underestimate pawns will be made cry at the hands of a pawn.

However, tanuki were such creatures that if they were going to enact a shogi piece, they wanted to play some more important one, and those of them who signed up to be shogi pieces went through alternating bouts of joy and disappointment as the members of the Nanzenji family read out who was assigned to play what piece. I received the role of the Eastern Army knight commanded by my frog brother, while our eldest brother was assigned the role of the rook which made him very proud. Turning and taking a look at the enemy camp revealed that the annoying Kinkaku and Ginkaku were entrusted with the major roles of the gold and silver generals, which only added to their triumphant and smug air.

Soon, the player with the first move was decided to be our brother, and the game of tanuki shogi started.

In the opening, the pieces only made small moves, and to me, ignorant about shogi as I was, it was boring. The tanuki in the audience were the same, paying all of their attention to oden, Fake Denki Bran and chatter rather than to the game. I kept sending my frog brother looks, silently begging him to use his knight piece in a big way, but my brother only watched the surface of the board with a calm and composed face, paying no heed to his unruly knight.

At any rate, to me, what was so fun about shogi was one of the biggest mysteries ever.

In spite of my father passionately teaching me in my childhood, none of those formal procedures such as the standard moves or the obligatory king encircling stuck in my head, going in one ear and out the other. As it was, I would repeatedly launch a reckless attack on the enemy king in hopes of assassinating him, leaving my own king completely unguarded and vulnerable to being surrounded by the enemy in the process, which of course resulted in glorious KIA for him. In the end, when I created nonsensical pieces like 'Idiot Mountain Sage', 'Pink tanuki' and 'American Minister' and started destroying the game known as shogi at the root, even my father had no choice but to give up. So, I distanced myself from shogi. Giving up on winning and losing on the board, I searched for opportunities outside of it.

While I was reminiscing, the game of tanuki shogi approached its mid-stage, and the pieces on the board started crossing swords. My brother finally decided to move his knight forward, and I leapt energetically, coming to about the center of the board.

Gyokuran moved her silver general, and I ended up facing Ginkaku.

The fake gentleman Ginkaku was trying to play violin which resulted in awful screeching.

"You're being obnoxious, Ginkaku." "I see arts are well and truly beyond your understanding," said Ginkaku with a complacent smile. "We're currently studying the ways of refined English gentlemen. Playing violin is essential to it." "If you guys can become English gentlemen, then surely so could a shougouin daikon [*4]!" "Why, such impertinence!"

From the back rows of the enemy camp Kinkaku shouted, "Ignore him! There is honor in isolation!" "Right, right, honor in isolation. I and my brother decided to stick with this principle like a great English gentleman of old did. And we are above associating with some idiot tanuki."

Except in the tanuki world, Kinkaku and Ginkaku, with their penchant for regularly putting their peerless idiocy on display for the whole world to see, had already been friendless and isolated. I suppose I was lucky to witness that moment when those two's lofty ideals and the tanuki world's common consensus miraculously overlapped.

"I'm pretty sure isolation without honor is just loneliness," I said. "Hush your mouth!" "If you keep those games up, Kaisei will chew you out again." "Hmph. We fear not the likes of Kaisei." "Liars. You look like you're about to cry, face contorted and all, every time she gives you a scolding." "No, we don't cry! We most certainly do not!"

Brandishing the violin bow, Ginkaku was indignant.

"Nii-san, how do I reply to that? I'm so offended right now."

"Just wait, Ginkaku. Your brother is coming to your rescue now!" Kinkaku shouted.

〇

Kinkaku readily retracted his previous remark about honor in isolation by pushing through the crowd to stand in front of me with nimbliness unthinkable for someone like him. The shogi pieces he pushed and shoved on his way forward fell one after another.

"You cannot move without my instructions!" Gyokuran cried, but those two weren't the type to listen. "Hi there, Yasaburou. Honestly, a tanuki like you is always so ungentlemanly." "Alas, nii-san, he will never evolve." "But we are different from you. We always advance and grow." "Yes, we advance, and then we grow. You'd better watch out!"

Kinkaku and Ginkaku, in sync with one another, shapeshifted into bigger shogi pieces, with a writing 'Drunk elephant' and 'Prancing stag' [*5] on them. When I commented that there was no way such weird pieces actually existed, "You never cease to be such an uneducated tanuki, do you," Kinkaku laughed mockingly. "These are actual pieces that used to be in shogi of old. Your ordinary pieces don't suit such extraordinary men as ourselves."

"How do you like my brother's extensive knowledge, hm? He may be bad at shogi, but he's got a really good head on his shoulders!"

"Oh, don't praise me so much, Ginkaku. That would not be very gentlemanly." “Oh, my bad. Indeed, that would be in poor taste."

As I was staring at the stupidly huge shogi pieces towering before me, the 74 new pieces that I rashly came up with in my childhood much to my father's chagrin crossed my mind. My eldest brother asked me to refrain from the off-the-board fighting, but at the moment we were firmly within the borders of the board, and the ones who started it were clearly Kinkaku and Ginkaku. As such, now was the time for me to change into a cooler piece and make my stand. Thus, I shapeshifted into the strongest of the Four Heavenly Kings that I seriously racked my brains to come up with when I was little, namely the 'Idiot Mountain Sage'.

Kinkaku and Ginkaku yelled in a chorus, "There's no such a piece!"

The original purpose of tanki shogi forgotten, the other pieces only watched this unfold in exasperation. Those in the audience, perceiving that all pointed to some off-the-board fighting brewing, leaned forward, "Looks like things are getting interesting!" Meanwhile, Kinkaku and Ginkaku shapeshifted into 'Jizaiten' and 'Gozu Tennou' [*6], I countered with 'American Minister', and by the end, in the center of the board there stood shoulder to shoulder 'Peerless In All Heaven and Earth', 'The Greatest' and 'Supreme Emperor of All Cosmos' iridescent with all the colors of the rainbow.

Losing his patience at that competition in obstinacy that could go on forever, my eldest brother came up to interfere.

"That's enough, Yasaburou." "I'm being careful for it not to off the board though, you know?" "Today is a very important day and a very important event for the Nanzenji family. This is no time to be competing with idiots." "As if I can back down at this point!" "Are you trying to embarrass Gyokuran?"

Just then, "Ahan," Kinkaku suddenly intoned in a nasty voice. "I knew it. For a long time now I thought Yaichirou was suspicious." "What do you mean, 'suspicious'?" my brother asked. "Oh, I just thought how you're always so awfully kind to the Nanzenji family and unkind to us! For someone who aspires to become the Nise-emon you show an awful lot of favoritism to the Nanzenjis, and it's so unfair, don't you think? Even with this tanuki shogi, you've been going out of your way quite a bit to help, no? We Ebisugawas provided so many barrels of Fake Denki Bran as refreshments, yet we heard not a word of gratitude from you, Yaichirou. Is this the kind of treatment you should be giving us? Just how miserable are you making us? How could our pure untainted hearts not get twisted in this situation?!" "So very true. Of course we become twisted, nii-san!" Ginkaku cried out. "The way I see it, the reason why Yaichirou favors the Nanzenjis so much is because of Gyokuran. He wanted to look good in front of her by bringing back tanuki shogi, and he wanted to be told 'Yaichirou-san, you're so wonderful' by her. Now, everyone, there is clearly a problem here, you see? Isn't this what they call mixing official business with personal pleasure, hm? I think that's quite the dishonest attitude unfit for someone trying to become the next Nise-emon."

Silence fell both on and off the board, and the spectators held their breath.

Thinking how such false accusations went too far even for that outrageous duo and how my straight-laced brother, of all people, would never have that kind of ulterior motives, I turned, only to find said brother daring his eyes about and stammering, "Th-th-th-th-th," like some chirping little bird. As it stood, apparently, Kinkaku was right on the money. Setting aside whether it was right or wrong to mix business with personal affairs, I couldn't help feeling for my brother whose crush was outed by Kinkaku and Ginkaku, of all people, in front of a crowd, no less, and the humiliation he was experiencing.

Getting cocky, Kinkaku and Ginkaku shapeshifted into Gyokuran complete with the traditional clothing she wore, and twisted their bodies suggestively on top of the shogi board.

"I was so busy playing shogi that I missed out on my chance to get marri-ah-ed." "Yaichirou-san, could you be so kind as to take me as your wi-ah-fe?"

It was then that the furious Nanzenji Gyokuran galloped across the shogi board.

Having shapeshifted into a big tigress, she let out a deafening roar, stripping Kinkaku and Ginkaku of what little courage they had.

Having turned into a rolling furball, Ginkaku then had his butt bitten by her. A piercing tanuki shriek echoed throughout the board. Gyokuran shook her head from side to side, and the furball in her teeth flew towards the groove of dark cedar trees, whining feebly all the while, "Uhaai!"

"No way we're getting ourselves caught in this mess," decided the tanuki on the board, turning back into furballs and trying to get away, pushing and shoving one another as they did. Using the general confusion, Kinkaku tried to make his escape, but, getting kicked by me, he rolled before being stomped on by Gyokuran with all her might.

Letting out pathethic yelping, he started apologizing to Gyokuran - way too late, at that.

"I'm sorry, Gyokuran. I might have said a bit too much."

The board turned into a total mess, with tanuki shogi being hopelessly out of question anymore.

Howls of the rampaging Gyokuran dispelled the intoxication of the merrymaking tanuki in no time. Yasaka Heitarou, who spectated from his seat in the audience, reluctantly got up, about to go and try to bring the situation under control, when heavy rain hit the land, as if the bottom of the sky had been removed.

Letting out shrieks and screams, the tanuki fled in all directions.

And so, the Tanuki Shogi Tournament held by the Nanzenji family closed the curtain amidst great disturbance.

〇

The rain that had started on the night of the Nanzenji Shogi Tournament, continued painting the city of Kyoto gray. The several bridges spanning the Kamogawa, as well as the townscape on both its banks, looked hazy, as if a phantom city in mist.

Tanuki shogi was met with surprisingly favorable reception from the tanuki of Kyoto, and Yasaka Heitarou was apparently heard saying that he wouldn't mind to hold the tournament next year again. The Ebisugawas, the Shimogamos and the Nanzenjis all thrown together and quite literally fighting it out on top of the shogi board became a party entertainment that many tanuki had enjoyed quite a bit. Sulky and disgruntled, Kinkaku and Ginkaku apparently voiced their objection to the Nanzenji family, saying that the butt that Gyokuran bit hurt so much they couldn't concentrate on their work, but since it was obvious they were grossly exaggerating, Ebisugawa Kaisei requested those complaints not be paid attention to, so the Nanzenji family kept non-committally side-stepping the issue.

Padding it with fluffy fur and making everyone feel better was the tanuki style of solving problems.

The ones who flatly went against this trend were my eldest brother and Nanzenji Gyokuran. Shaking free from her family's control, Gyokuran was in the middle of self-imposed confinement on the top of Nanzenji temple's main gate, while my brother grounded himself in the Tadasu forest, looking gloomy all day long. Being lectured with that face, as depressing as the sky during the rainy season, was more than I could take.

"I told you not to fall for provocations. But you did and ended up causing a lot of trouble for the Nanzenjis." "But it was those two who started it." "Learn already where it's okay to fight and where it's not, is what I'm saying."

My brother did have a point, which only exacerbated my obstinate streak farther and made me unable to back down even if I wanted to.

"Then what about you, aniki? Why didn't you straight up deny those accusations and put Kinkaku and Ginkaku in their place? If we're talking about causing trouble to the Nanzenjis, you should've responded at that time and nipped the very possibility in the bud. It is your fault that Gyokuran wound up publicly embarrassed like that."

Unable to refute that statement, my brother finally got angry for real.

"...Were you born specifically to make trouble for me?"

Speaking of how hard the head of my brother was, it was as rock-hard as eggs that'd been thoroughly boiled in the cauldron of Hell for 3 days and 3 nights. I understood that that disposition of a hard-boiled egg of his and the concern for his three younger brothers, who happened to be a frog, an idiot and a little boy, was what made him want to vocally encourage and lead us to the right path, and that he was like that precisely because he gave thought to the Shimogamo family's future as the young head of said family. Nevertheless, his statement that made it sound like I was born into this world for the sole purpose of causing him trouble was clearly too much.

I cooped up in an elm tree in protest.

"You hurt my feelings deeply. So I'm not coming down until you get on your knees and apologize." "Whatever, have it your way. I see that the saying about fools and smoke being fond of high places is quite true." "Go ahead and try telling that to a tengu."

The next day, I still sat in the tree top, and my brother, fed up with my antics, stopped talking to me.

I climbed the tree out of worthless stubbornness, but now that I thought about it, sitting in a tree during this particular season that made your butt all damp from humidity was a surprisingly comfortable way to spend it.

Away from the ground below, I wandered from a branch to a branch, listening to the rustling of the endless rain hitting the forest's canopy. Leading a life up in the trees, the more I watched my family bustle below and visitors come and go along the road to Shimogamo temple, the more I experienced the magnificent feeling of approaching tengu, remembering how Akadama-sensei used to tie me up to the top of the giant cedar in Kumogahata after giving me a good scolding when I was little.

From time to time, my little brother, having packed a thermos flask and steamed buns in his backpack, would climb up the tree to where I was and ask me with concern, "Nii-chan, you still not coming down? Are you going to live in the trees until you die?" "No way!" said I, stuffing my cheeks with steamed buns. "Oh, what a relief. Mother was worried you might become a tengu if you keep this up. You shouldn't make mother worry so much."

T/N:

[*1] Sakata Sankichi (坂田三吉): a legendary shogi master (1870-1946) who was known for his imaginative and novel moves, some of which became conventional later on and even have his name. [*2] Denki Bran (電氣ブラン) lit. Electric Brandy: a classic Japanese brandy first produced more than 130 years ago (in 1882) in Asakusa, Tokyo, in the period when Japan opened up to the West and its rapid westernization started. You can still find it, if you look, and I hear it's not too expensive. What the Ebisugawas produce is a knock-off of that. [*3] Kaisei (海星): this name consists of kanji for 'sea' (海) and for 'star' (星), thus the comparison to a meteor. [*4] Shogouin daikon (聖護院大根): a sort of turnip that's used for both their tops and roots; is considered a traditional Kyoto vegetable, irreplaceable in winter (jp wiki) [*5] 'Drunk elephant', 'Prancing stag' (酔象　踊鹿): pieces that are used in a few variations of shogi, mostly obsolete, such as shou-shougi (small shogi), chuu-shougi (middle shogi), tenjiku-shougi (indian shogi), tai-shougi (grand shogi), dai-shougi (large shogi), daidai-shougi (huge shogi), taikyoku shougi (ultimate shogi) and makadaidai-shougi (ultra-huge shogi) [*6] Jizaiten and Gozu Tennou (自在天王牛頭天王): Jizaiten is a deity guarding the 12 sacred directions, represents the highest state of existence before achieving enlightenment. Gozu Tennou is a protective deity (against illness) and the deity of Yasaka temple in Kyoto (not wiki)

#uchouten kazoku nidaime no kichou #Uchouten Kazoku 2

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