#you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah
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I can't believe I'm crying over an Adam Sandler movie. Why was this so cute?
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i love how movies are going away from
'here, learn about the sufferings of this underrepresented group in media'
to
'here, learn about the joys of this underrepresented group in media'
#you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah#ive literally never seen or heard of a movie that was just so jewish that wadnt focused on the struggles of jewish people#and that can also be a me problem but#also a media problem#and this is also about other stuff like#seeing casual queer media where its not about queer pain#like heartstopper is just a cute silly queer coming of age romance#i also saw the blackening recently#and that was also just a black comedy horror#and i love when peoples experiences as minorities are not just about the pain ls but also the joys#i want more of the joys#but also its sad it took so long to get here#movies#netflix
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i wasnt expecting an adam sandler movie being a good depiction of girlhood
#why i cried#i felt so much for these little girls#stacy saying that was being a best friend yeah yeah im weak im on my knees#such a cute movie#girlhood being taken serious will forever make me cry idk#absolutely loved the hebrew school too#i got so happy everytime the rabbi tried to make the kids have fun and actually succeed#why dont we get more of that on school movies i dont know#you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah#adam sandler
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That’s why we fought the Nazis? So you could have a mojito bar?
#this movie was so American 😭 everything was so progressive Judaism is so different here :\#you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah#it speaks
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Ok so I just watched you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah (Thank you @broccolithebunni /gen) and it was actually really good- like 10/10 would watch again.
@fairygodmother08 we should watch it next time we hangout 🤩
I definetly recommend watching it to anyone who hasn't!
#<3#you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah#movies#movie#it was rlly cool#I loved the message#This Movie made me happy :)
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being 13 is a prison
#im watching you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah#its very cute but i feel like crawling out of my skin
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My full thoughts on 'You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah':
So first off, going into it, I didn't think I would like it. I don't really watch the tween-angst genre of movies, and the promotional material for the movie made it look like it was just gonna be a movie about Jews having an extravagant and expensive party, which is obviously problematic.
But the movie.....it blew me away. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Things I loved:
-The typical Jewish stereotypes you see in every movie about Jews weren't present. I really expected Adam Sandler's character to be another nebbish pushover Jewish dad stereotype, but he wasn't. He was goofy and soft but also he was strong and passionate about Judaism and his family. When he got really, truly angry at Stacy, I almost cheered. Of course all the characters in the movie are on the upper middle class end, but upon reflection, that's just the genre of movies. There's a genre of tween and teen movies about extravagant birthday parties where the characters live in a world free from poverty, and well, it's nice to have a movie in that genre for ourselves. It's escapism.
-The characters all loved Judaism and being Jewish. Jewish religious practice and belief wasn't treated as a joke or an afterthought. The kids would actually look forward to Hebrew school, and Hebrew school wasn't depicted as boring and stuffy. The religious aspect of a Bat Mitzvah was front and center- it drove the whole story, from Stacy practicing her Maftir (not "Haftarah" as the movie got wrong) as she comes up with her worst mistake, to Stacy working on her Mitzvah project.
-Because the majority of the story occured at the characters' homes and in Hebrew School and Temple, antisemitism wasn't a player in the story, and I liked that. We have so many movies about Jewish pain and suffering, and it's nice to have a light-hearted movie. It doesn't pretend antisemitism doesn't exist, but it's just not relevant to the story.
-Even though it was a movie about a tween girl and all her struggles and insecurities, she was never once insecure about her Jewish features. They could have very easily slipped into the old "Jewish girl hates her nose" but it didn't. And I hope that if Sunny Sandler gets serious about acting as she grows up, she won't feel pressured to get a nose job like so many other Jewish young women do.
-It doesn't pander to goyim and take time to explain every single Jewish word and reference like Hallmark Hanukkah specials do. It's a movie made by Jews for Jews, and it doesn't edit itself to be more palatable to goyim. And I loved that.
Some critiques:
-My biggest criticism is the portrayal of Jewish tween boys. I get that the movie is from Stacy's POV, so as a tween girl she might see all boys her age as gross and as assholes, but I find it problematic that all the Jewish boys were depicted as nasty, while the only boy depicted as nice and polite was not Jewish. I think it plays into stereotypes of Jewish boys and sends a harmful message.
-I loved Rabbi Rebecca, but I think that at times her character went from endearingly awkward to just gross and inappropriate, such as when she talked about her yeast infection in front of her students. I think just a bit of editorial tweaking would have been beneficial for her character.
Overall rating: 9/10, would definitely recommend it to my Jewish friends. Goyim, you might enjoy it, but it really isn't made for you so you might be lost at times. Just accept you're not the target audience.
#jumblr#you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah#movie review#movie recommendation#jewish movie#my thoughts
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i started writing this and it ended up way longer than anticipated. apologies in advance.
a movie called "you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah" has been on netflix's top 10 for the past couple of weeks now. i thought, "i wonder what this is", looked it up, saw it was review bombed, and thought to myself. great. now i have no choice to watch this.
i'll just write my review of this, and then get into what i found odd about the review bombing.
this is the latest adam sandler production for netflix. it's a coming of age story, kind of a modern take on "are you there god? it's me, margaret?" sort of thing. deals with all the difficulties of modern life – phones, tiktoks, hip rabbis, etc – and the eternal difficulties of life – puberty, getting your priorities in order, why god allows evil, hip rabbis, etc – in a way that's both familiar and specific. it's familiar in part because sandler casts people from his regular orbit, but also a very specific movie because it's about a very specific milieu. which is to say, upper middle class jewish girls and their parents, and tension between a religious event which involves a lot of intellectual preparation for an adult responsibility, and the consumerism involved with bar/bat mitzvah inflation in families that can afford to celebrate on that scale.
i found the specificity charming, especially in the depictions of the protagonist (played by sunny sandler, adam sandler's daughter) and the various difficulties she has with her father (played by her irl dad). although, i'm grading on the netflix curve here, which i'd define as "was this a movie you can watch while you're looking at your phone and still be entertained by even though you're not paying close attention to" and it's pretty much that. i'd say a little bit better than average, because the performances of the young actors really nail it. sunny sandler is great in this. she's not afraid to come off as totally ridiculous, especially in one scene where she's wearing overdone makeup and trying to take selfies. she seems genuinely bereft when her friendship with her best friend unravels. her character does some things which are genuinely cruel, even by the standards of teen movie stuff, but she has a lot of potential as a physical comedian.
it's easy for a movie like this to be a total nepotism project, but it also does not work if sunny sandler isn't good in her role, and she is. and the kids who play her friends are also good in their roles.
another thing that i also found fascinating about this wasn't just the specificity of the jewish experience that's depicted in it, but also the specificity of the current situation where teenagers aren't just presenting themselves on their phones all the time, but in which they're recording each other on their phones all the time. we've all been cautioned about what we share online, but there isn't yet conventional wisdom about documentation we have of other people outside of, idk, "you shouldn't share other people's nudes". and it does a good job of blending a specific cultural milieu with a specific generational experience.
it's not ibsen or anything but it's, like, fine.
so. the review bombs. i think this might have gotten a lot of traction on tiktok, because a lot of the 1 star reviews are prefaced with "i am [12-14] and jewish and i didn't like this". i'm not here to pick on them, but a lot of them share a common gripe about it which is... i'll just pull some quotes from them:
"As a young woman, myself, I was extremely disappointed in the oversexualization and generally offensive depictions of teenagers (especially the girls) in this film."
"With the barbie movie just coming out, I thought we were past sexualising girls. But here comes along a movie AIMED AT KIDS and teaches them that incredibly revealing outfits and quite sexual pictures are correct and even possibly supported for kids!"
"I also noticed that it sexualized teenagers after the amount of times they said “hooking up” after reminding us that they are only 13 years old"
"Second off this show “shows off” 12 year olds in a very dirty way in some parts of the show and some parts are absolutely disgusting."
"Stereotypes, sexualising of 12 and 13 year olds, and teaching people that this is how Jews are"
i'm not going to be like "these dipshits in middle school do not understand the language of film, unlike me, a 28 year old woman who is very smart". but there's nothing remotely sexual in this movie. there's the scene where sunny sandler's character is taking trying to take IG type pictures with her friends, but the audience isn't invited to ogle at it. like, one of her friends is holding a floor lamp so it functions as a ring light, and the dialogue is, like, "how do i look?" "like your goldfish just died :/". and stuff like "they kissed and i heard he touched her underboob" is no more salacious than the sort of juvenile gossip that you'd find in an actual junior high school.
that all said, it's very jarring to me to hear people in that age group using "it sexualizes teenagers" in their critical vocabulary. i don't think that would even cross my mind when i'd be that young and watching a comedy. and i could be reading too much into it, but the ongoing moral panic about sex ed and kids seems like it's driving kids nuts just as much as it is adults.
all of this is a long winded way of saying, this culture war shitstorm has gotten a lot of coverage in terms of the parents who want to ban books, but maybe it'd be prudent for someone to pitch a piece that focuses on how this whole thing is impacting young people who are no doubt absorbing some of this through osmosis and tiktok.
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Why not just eat chocolate? Nobody will know and not eating things you like because of a religion seems kind of cruel? Obviously I get the pork thing - even though that stems from the time Piggys were gross and ate poop - but to not eat chocolate because men 3,000 ish years ago said 'Only eat simple bread and starve yourself" said so?
It just seems so wrong 😕 Religion should be about you and your god, not what people a long time ago said you can or can't do. I have this problem in my own faith. By rights I think it's a period of not indulgence is here or coming shortly. Yet I'm pretty sure main event guy wouldn't want people starving and whipping themselves over him. 🙄
80% of religions these days it going by what some man wrote or decreed, rather than about god and that is a giant same.
Please eat your eggs if you want. You shouldn't have to restrict yourself on word of what a group of men who lived 3000 years ago said.
there are so many things wrong with this ask but you sound so genuine and earnest and im just so fucking pissed right now that i have no choice but to answer asks in this horrible awful no good very bad new post format that im gonna make this brief.
1- i know i dont talk about it much anymore but i have my masters in jewish education and up until last year was working as a bar/bat mitzvah teacher and torah reader in my synagogue for the last like million years of my life. religion has never felt like a burden to me.
2- not eating piggies although its plausible does not necessarily come from the fact that theyre in close contact with poop. doesnt say anything about that in the biblical texts. keeping kosher is also not the same as the dietary restrictions for passover and the reasons for them are not necessarily related.
3 - not eating certain things (chametz - not "simple bread," its more complicated) on passover is not about starving yourself and its not about atonement (that holiday is in the fall), its about remembering important events in jewish history and keeping the sense memory of those events and lessons alive for thousands of years.
4- what religion is asking you to whip and starve yourself for god? sounds like a cult or a dan brown novel tbh
5- judaism is definitely based on shit some men wrote, but it most certainly was nowhere close to one man. we're talking lots and lots of very opinionated and highly intelligent and insightful men (also women if you know where to look, also some dumbass men) whose interpretations and decisions of law regarding how their society and religion could and should function without a central community or authority on earth were passed through millions of hands and thousands of more opinions through the centuries and enforced to many degrees in both extremes only to be falling apart in the last century or so thanks to inescapable global factors that have rolled through our disparate communities like indy's boulder on a rampage.
wait a minute i said this would be brief. fuck.
anywaynot eating my cadbury creme eggs is def not a burden i just enjoy complaining its probably all for the best.
also i hope this didnt come off rude i understand where you're coming from but i also invite you to do a little googling about judaism and the holiday of passover. happy holidays! ✡️🫓🍷
#jewish things#judaism#passover#personal#thoughts out loud#nice people#food mention cw#again i wasnt trying to sound antagonistic but please. religion is not always evil.#💗💗💗#wait wait#i also have to add that#many things we enjoy can be found in a kosher for passover version during the holiday#im sure if there was enough demand for cadbury creme eggs during passover someone might make it simply for the $$#unfortunately that will most definitely never happen s;dklfjgksdhfngjkfdh#but there is plenty of chocolate available to me on passover should i decide i need it#(i am not generally a chocolate girl. i just go through a yearly creme egg phase is all)
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Nobody asked, but here's my thoughts on You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah
I am in love with how Jewish it is. (Almost) everyone is Jewish, there's Kippahs and Magen David stars everywhere, and it's so normalised
On a related note, I have never been to Hebrew school but I imagine that's exactly what it's like
I did find some of the drama a little convoluted, mainly the whole Ledge Period drama and Stacy's mom sending the Entrance video
On the whole though I think the movie does do a really good job of emulating what it's like to be 13- everything is The Most Important Thing Ever and Nobody Understands but you're also. Still a kid and still figuring things out. And you're selfish and mean-spirited and vindictive and emotional and way too concerned with other people think, but that's because you don't know what the fuck you're doing because you're 13!!!
I also enjoyed the tension between Stacy and her dad, in that he's just trying to connect to and support to his daughter, but of course because she's 13 she's going through it and doesn't want to/can't reciprocate. And I like the way this culminates in their argument- it really highlights why this is important to each of them
I liked Stacy's sister a lot- I think they really nailed that dynamic of constantly being at odds and supporting your sister ag the same time
I agree with other critiques that the ending wrap-up was a little hasty, but it did feel very heart-felt so I'll give it a pass
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I just watched "You're So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah" and I'm afraid I'm in my Adam Sandler appreciation and redemption era
#recently saw that he sends Jennifer Aniston flowers on mother's day#and i have heard that he sometimes casts ppl in his movies to help them get away from abusers#and it was really sweet to watch a movie where judaism was a major feature#so. yeah.
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Watching "You're So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah" and im so mad about the plot point where Stacy put together a movie of all Lydia's embarassing home videos and it gets shown at her Bat Mitzvah
Like. A) her mom gave it to Lydia's mom by accident and b) neither of the mother actually watched the video before they showed it to an entire room of people at an incredibly expensive and important party??
Also, Lydia's father doesnt yell at the dj to stop the video until the video is fully over? Even though Stacy asked him to stop and was standing right there begging him to.
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I really loved You're So not Invited to my Bat Mitzvah but ALSO I kinda want a movie about the older teenagers who are addicted to watching 80's horror movies during every Bat Mitzvah they attend
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mr. perfectly fine
jeremiah fisher x oc
chapter 2
I head up to my room. It's exactly the same as when I left it. I told Susannah that I didn't need a room, that I had my own right next door, but she insisted. She said I'm at her house more than my own, so it only makes sense. Susannah decorated my room for me and I love it. Everything from the color of the walls to the decorations is perfect. It's like my save heaven.
As I'm putting my things away, I hear a knock at my door.
"It's open," I say, thinking it's Belly or my mom.
"Hey"
I hear the one voice that I don't want to hear.
"Hey Jere" I turn around with an awkward smile.
He grabs me before flopping down on my bed and pulls me with him.
I quickly stand up and go back to what I was doing. I pretend to not notice the hurt look he gives me. He shouldn't be the one who's hurt, I scoff.
"I was thinking we should go to the beach before dinner."
"Sorry, I can't. I have to finish unpacking."
"You can always do it later. We barely talked the whole year and I missed you."
"I'm sure Belly wants to go. Why don't you go ask her?" I hint, wanting him to drop the conversation.
I hear him exhale before he walks out, closing the door behind him.
"I really did miss you Rena."
______________
I'm trying to focus on dinner, but I can't. My mind keeps drifting to the golden-haired boy sitting across from me.
"Steven, I swear to god if you look at that phone one more time, I'm putting it in the screen basket." Laurel sighs.
"We want to see your beautiful faces. Can dinner be a screen-free zone like the olden days?" Susannah says
Steven ignores them and continues looking at his phone before Jeremiah rips it from his hands and tosses it into the screen basket.
"Boom! Nailed it"
"Dude, are you kidding me? okay okay we get it, you've been working out" Steven laughs
"Oh shut up Stevie, you're just mad that Jere has a better body than you," I say.
We make eye contact but I quickly look away. I don't know why I defended him, but I couldn't stop myself. There's an awkward silence before Steven interrupts it.
"Uh, no. It's all about the lean look now. Otherwise, you can't wear tailored suits."
"Tailored suits" Conrad repeats with a smile.
It's the first thing he's said all dinner.
"When are you leaving for training camp, man?"
Conrad's smile quickly falters
"Uh, he quit football," Jeremiah says for him.
"Con, sweetie, I thought you loved football! What happened?" My mom questions him
The table continues to talk but I'm not paying attention. I can feel Jeremiah staring at me but I'm too scared to look up. I promised myself I would move on, but I guess the pain from a first love never really does away.
I'm pulled from my thoughts when Steven mentions that he and Jeremiah got jobs at the country club.
"Wait, you guys are working this summer?"Belly asks in a confused tone.
"Yeah, I'm lifeguarding, and Steven's working at the snack shop," Jeremiah says while fist-bumping Steven
"Oh! Belly and Rena, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you." Susannah chuckles while handing us envelopes.
"What is that?" the boys ask as they try to read the letters inside.
"I wrangled Belly and Rena invitations to be debutantes!" Susannah exclaims excitedly
"Is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?" Belly asks
"It's... when a girl comes of age and is presented to society. I know it sounds silly but I swear it's fun. Girls come from all over to Cousins just to be a part of it. You'll make so many new friends."
"I cannot believe you're still holding on to this archaic dream" Laurel sighs while getting up.
"No, it used to be about finding a husband, but now it's about networking! They teach you leadership skills like how to market yourself, and it benefits charity. It's um, like a bat mitzvah."
"It is not like a bat mitzvah! There is nothing religious about a debutante ball" Laurel laughs while sitting back down with a bottle of wine.
I see her pour large glasses of wine for herself and my mom. This should be entertaining.
"The whole deb scene is bullshit. It's for sheep." Conrad speaks for the first time since it was announced that he quit football.
"Yeah" Jeremiah and Steven both agree.
Susannah begins to defend herself before I interrupt.
"I think it'll be fun," I say
Jeremiah gives me a confused look
"Since when were you into that type of shit, Rena? The old you would've hated it" He asks
"Well, I guess it's a good thing that I'm not the old me." I say before turning back to Susannah.
"I'd love to be a debutante"
____________
#jenny han#jeremiah fisher x reader#jeremiah fisher#steven conklin#conrad fisher#belly conklin#tsitp#the summer i turned pretty#romance
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okay i. didnt expect you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah to actually make me cry real tears. ???? the adam sandler teen comedy movie??? was good???? and genuinely funny??? and made me so emotional?????
idk maybe im surprised bc the last time i watched an adam sandler movie was in like 2012 and i never rly liked any of them. and with this one Some of the humor and over-the-topness was a toned down version of the same type of not rly my thing... but i liked and felt for the characters and the overall tone was so. charming?
i feel like if i was a teen i'd've haaated this movie bc of how it portrays teens. like i assumed the 'ha ha look at the silly slang and behaviors of Kids These Days amiright' would start to annoy me v quickly at the start of the movie... and i do think there were a FEW moments of it being like that. but overall i was so surprised that it just felt very loving, more like lighthearted teasing. i'm sure it'll grate on actual teens anyways (and fair enough) but as an adult the more remarkable thing was rly the palpable empathy.
'look i dont understand all of this and think a lot of it is silly or even worrying and i will make fun of it a little bit, but i can see you're struggling and i care and feel for you regardless.' like. im not even a parent but that was the vibe of the whole movie and it was. genuinely rly touching. and i did not EXPECT THAT
#you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah#i just. did not expect this movie to be what it is or for this type of story to make me FEEL THINGS#it looks like a movie id roll my eyes at bc of the schmaltzy teen drama romcom-ish tropes but??#it just felt earnest and that made it work for me#the no spoilers big thing at the end...#listen i dont normally cry during movies and when i do its like a singular tear. So When I Tell You I Was Sobbing#also sarah shermans character and entire wardrobe was a delight. bless.#N ALSO. im not jewish but currently trying to learn more abt it so idk how to put this but. i just rly liked? the jewishness of it all? :D#the setting just being like everyone here is jewish just roll w it but we do have one (1) model minority token christian kid was so funny#the fight between stacy and her dad sdkjfhfkjgdf#THATS WHY WE FOUGHT THE NAZIS?1 SO YOU COULD HAVE A MOJITO BAR?!!#pls i was on the floor#but also the only religion im personally familiar with is christianity and im so like. intrigued by how different the approach feels to me#idk why but i never feel particularly comfortable hearing christians talk about god and religious concepts#and to my surprise i dont have that at all hearing jewish ppl talk abt it?#like to bring it back to this movie. there was obv a LOT of talking abt that but instead of alienating me it feels more like#oh wow i can listen and engage with those topics without clenching my whole body for once?#and even discover that i LIKE a lot of the concepts and approaches#maybe its the absence of personal baggage? but also i just think its neat dot meme im INTERESTED i wanna know more#much to think about much to learn u__u anyway go watch it its on netflix
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i'm watching "you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah" and like. it wasn't my jewish experience per se but it's still so fun to see the jewish experience portrayed in a silly little movie
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