Propaganda

Isabel Jeans (Gigi)—gigi is not a good film but I think she’s absolutely stunning as the courtesan aunt! i want her entire wardrobe and then i want her to tell me how to sniff cigars and determine which diamonds are the good ones :3

Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)—Major Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Isabel Jeans:

Sophia Loren:

im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty

She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65

OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)

One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.

Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances

JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL

Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.

Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.

Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.

Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face 😳

Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.

Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.

Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isn’t self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.

She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.

On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non è vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."

Round 4 Match 9

propaganda below the cut! (enormous wall of text warning)

Trent Reznor:

"he is everything. he is all that exists around us. he is the air which we breathe. he performed covered in mud at woodstock 94 and somehow made it work. he's largely responsible for arguably the most influential concept album of the 90s. he is beautiful and sweet and stunning. i want to study him under a microscope. i know closer is about sex as a self-destructive behavior but also have you seen how insanely gorgeous he looks in the music video? in the words of my friend, "he sings like he's in heat". he literally humps and destroys synths (in a variety of ways, including stripping the keys off with his boot) during performances. every single outfit he wears is extremely cunty. on multiple occasions guys have said that even though they're straight they would fuck him. finally, in the words of jude doyle: "to this day, looking at a photograph of trent reznor in the early '90s feels like looking into the sun""

"The live March Of The Pigs (1994) video makes me froth at the mouth I start biting and snapping my teeth and growling. I need to rewatch it five times a week at LEAST to stay sane. Trent Reznor is like if a trophy wife was a man. Also the way he WHISPERS INTO THE MIC AT THE END OF SUCK?????HHFSJBDNDNS???? THE ENTIRETY OF THE BROKEN EP????????? Cleanup on aisle my fucking pants. Is this too insane? Sorry"

"I’m a lesbian but that does not fucking mean anything when confronted with trent reznor"

"It's Trent, man. Even the literal devil wants him. He's just boypretty."

"This man deadass wrote a song with the lyric “My moral standing is lying down" in it"

Jonny Greenwood:

"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"

"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."

"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."

"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."

"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"

"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"

"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"

Mike Patton:

"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"

"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."

"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"

"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"

"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."

"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

How would you rate Sabatini's biography on Cesare? I love it, but I wondered if you had any other (English) recommendations? Also take a shot everyone Sabatini interrupts his narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was sfhttjjggj

I think as far as Cesare bios goes, I’d rate his biography 7/10. I have conflicted feelings with Sabatini’s work, because I love his writing style, his sense of humour is great, it matched mine right away, and he has such a genius way of pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards applied to the Borgia family. He cleverly shows how much of the Borgia myths and general accusations thrown their way are connected to politics (shocker!) and to their Spaniard, and less nobly origins. Not to mention how he exposes the historical bias against Cesare, and general dishonesty with him, from primary sources to modern historians such as Gregorovius, that paragraph Sabatini wrote about him was truly a moment in the Borgia historical literature for me, I'm glad he said it. I just wish he hadn't fallen so hard for the Machiavellian Prince archetype about Cesare. The more I re-read his work, the more it becomes clear to me he took Machiavelli’s writings about Cesare at face value, fell in love with the image presented by him, and then proceeded (whether consciously or unconsciously) to apply this interpretation, one that has its limitations and flaws on their own, to all the facets of Cesare’s character, and all the other aspects of his life lol, which resulted in this too strict, robot-like persona. There is no nuance, no deepth to Cesare’s Sabatini, he exists only as the stoic, unscrupulous, unfeeling Machiavellian Prince. It’s a mistake I see being made time and again by most of Cesare’s biographers, many who follow Sabatini too blindly, or just Borgia biographers in general tbh, but Sabatini’s bio acutely illustrates this particular issue better than the other bios I’ve read I think, (with the exception perhaps of Beuf’s “work”, who somehow managed to outdone Sabatini in this Machiavellian presentation of Cesare, taking it to new extremes with super dramatic and misleading writing, for the most part). And you know, I always get the impression Sabatini had his own conflicted feelings in regards to The Prince, and its clear-headed, pragmatic politics. He seemed to admired it and feel repulsed by it at the time. And those mixed feelings sometimes ended up leaking into his view and writing about Cesare and some historical events, and what he believed had happened (e.g., the take of Urbino), and I find that very interesting. In any case, the point is: Sabatini’s Cesare is unrealistic, and it constantly enters into conflict with what Sabatini also presents as evidence for his history. I mean, he insists throughout the book in reaffirming Cesare was a utter egoist, cold man. Only moved by his ambition and thirst for power. He was incapable of kindness, or of being considerate with others, of feeling compassion, without ulterior motives involved. All of his actions were always calculated to only serve his own interests. Everyone around him were pawns to be used and discarded when they were no longer of any use to him. We are to believe he was a cynic, a block of ice, essentially. We are also to believe he never had genuine emotional bonds with anyone, much less with women. Women were interchangeble to him. Sabatini was convinced he was a man incapable of having a sentimental side, of loving or of having any connection with them beyond the physical aspect. But then, in between chapters, sometimes pages, he also tell us how Cesare seems to have deeply grieved the death of his cousin, Giovanni Borgia, whom he refers as Mio Fatre in his letters. He gives an honest, if quick, account about the marriage and relationship between Cesare and Charlotte d’Albret, in which Cesare’s obvious feelings for her can be seen, as well as his kindness and respect towards her. Sabatini admits the evidence shows they may well have loved each other, and that when leaving Charlotte in charge of all his affairs in France, as the governor and administrator of his lands and lorships there, as well as his heiress in case of his death, Cesare shows “his esteem of her and the confidence he reposed in her mental qualities.” And of Cesare’s policies and behavior as its ruler in the Romagna, it reaches a point where his mere self-interest doesn’t quite alone explain his relationship with this romagnese subjects and many of his decisions. It undermines Sabatini’s claim that it was for show and for his political gain. Last but not least, what is one supposed to make of the hypothesis he posits to the what I like to call, the Dorotea affair? This event is the peak of his contradiction and his mental gymnastics, because to be sure, his hypothesis is not far-fetched. I will concede I thought it was the first I read his bio. But over the years, between carefully separating fiction from history and reading other sources, then going back to his bio, I recognized his hypothesis is one of the plausible ones, certainly more plausible than the official sensationalistic narrative of Cesare simply abducting the innocent maiden Dorotea out on a whim, to satisfy his lust, (the fact Borgia scholars  are still repeating this narrative with a straight face is beyond my comprehension), I can see Cesare doing what he proposes, it def. aligns better with my understanding of him, and all the historical material I’ve read about him and his times, however, this hypothesis is completely irreconcilable with Sabatini’s Cesare. So, he says one thing, then he says another that’s incompatible with the first thing he said, and then proceeds to show evidence that either puts into doubt or confirms the opposite of his characterization of Cesare. And that’s only considering the historical info he dedided to include in his bio. If he had included some of the info Alvisi presents in his Duca di Romagna, a work he must have checked out, if not read it all, given one of the languages he spoke was Italian, and Alvisi’s bio is the best and most authoritative historical work made to date about Cesare and his life, I believe he would have struggled a lot more than he did. It just seems like he enters into a trap of his own making. Turning an already difficult task more difficult than it needs to be, honestly. Ironically, his stance is as messy and contradictory as the aforementioned Gregorovius in his Lucrezia Borgia, where you also have two Cesare(s): the one he sees and wants to present versus the one that emerges from the his own writing at times and historical material he himself exposes it. Overall, his work frustrates on some fronts, and I think it could have been better. It has its faults, some the typical faults/vices fond in Borgia biographies, others very much his own, but nevertheless I have a fondness for his bio which I do not share with others bios on Cesare, or the Borgia family. It is the only bio in the English language I find myself reading again and again, and the one I would put it first as better, or more decent, in this language about Cesare. I admire his honesty, and his bravery in challenging a little bit of Cesare’s dark legend, and the baseless accusations attached to his name. I appreciate what he tried to do, the very least of what I expect from a serious historian when dealing with figures as infamous in popular imagination as Cesare and Rodrigo Borgia. There is no denying his work was one of the main works which advanced Cesare’s historical literature, and the approach to his figure. Moving slightly from the literary, colorful, villain-like character of the Italian Renaissance, towards starting to be more seriously studied as a historical figure properly. And oh my god, yes, interrupting the narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was. It’s funny you mentioned that, because I don’t remember him doing that so much (time for a re-read!), but that's one of the characteristics of the Borgian/Cesarean historical literature heh. I’m yet to read a bio where authors do not feel the need to take a moment to talk about how hot he was, some even a poetic way lol, it’s so amusing, and always the one thing I know I will agree with them, if nothing else. Also, I think Borgia bios have huge potential for drinking games! Like: take a shot of tequila every time Cesare gets badmouthed for no reason, or baselessly asserted guilty of questionable murders, fratricide, rape, and abduction. Or when Juan and Cesare envied and hated each other narrative is repeated. Or when Guicciardini, Sanuto, Cappello and Giustinian are uncritically used as credible sources for Rodrigo and Cesare. Every time Lucrezia gets painted as the Good Borgia, the pretty, passive doll who was the helpless victim of the terrible Borgia men. Or when authors get uncomfortably shippy with the Cesare/Lucrezia relationship resulting in exaggerated claims such as: Lucrezia was Cesare’s only exception, or they were unusually close as siblings, etc. And of course, whenever Cesare’s hotness and allure has to be talked about dsjdsjsj, the list is long, and I think it will get you drunk very quickly. I know I couldn’t keep up back when I was reading Sacerdote’s bio, and I was drinking wine so. As for recs in the English language, I would say Woodward’s bio has its value in terms of sources and historical documents. I also think his analysis about politics, about Cesare’s goverment in the Romagna, and also concerning the conclave of 1503 are generally good. His last five, four chapters are the best ones imo, so if you are interested in these points I mentioned, it might be worth checking out. I would just open a caveat saying that as far as a biography about the person of Cesare Borgia is concerned, it is weak and to be read with a grain of salt. I was mostly unimpressive by his work on that front, and I thought about quitting time and again. He likes presenting himself as the impartial historian, (a big red flag that only makes me twice as cautious when reading any historical work) writing in a mostly sober tone, but of course like all scholars, all people, he has his bias, and they do come to surface from time to time. He displays an peculiar antipathy and ill will towards Cesare at times, which leads to harsh, confusing, unsubstantiated claims about his character and some of the events about his life. In contrast, you can see he is more benevolent and fair towards Rodrigo Borgia, and a constant thought I had while reading his bio was that he obviously chose the wrong Borgia to write a bio on. Had he chose Rodrigo as his Borgia subject, I believe we would have had a pretty good bio about him and his papacy.

What are your issues with S3 of Winx Club?

Okay, so. I am going to get long and ranty and annoyed overall on this post. I shouldn’t even have to preface this, half of the people that follow me have critical thinking skills I hope, but you can have whatever opinion on S3 and all the things I’m gonna touch on this post, I do not care and you should not either, live your life however the fuck you want yadda yadda yadda. Now:

The first thing that comes to mind is the pacing, and just how fucking terrible it is. Every single event takes so long and its so slow for the first 18-or-so episodes (a lot of situations really did not require two episodes), only to be suddenly kicked into high gear and have 7 different “final” battles one after another. It felt like it was just happening to end the season already and so they could keep working on SOTLK, and like I get you’re working on both and all but you COULD have afforded to at least PRETEND you gave a shit, Rainbow.

Next topic is Valtor, who is my absolute least favorite villain in the series, and yes, I am including the S5-S7 villains on this. This is where it’s not much a fault of the character itself (well. not ENTIRELY a fault of the character), but a fault of both the narrative and (and for this I am petty) the fanbase. Valtor, to me, is the most generic villain in the franchise, a different flavor than Darkar but by no means less bland - Valtor is your standard “hot” prettyboy villain who tries to charm the protagonist to his side with the empty promise of answers, and THAT COULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING... if the show ever bothered to do anything with it other than Valtor creeping on a senior highschool student for 26 episodes. Because it’s all a farce, there’s not an actual connection between them outside of Valtor feeding her lies about her retconned parent’s backstory (we’ll talk about this more later) and both of them having God’s power inside them. My second point on Valtor is that he singlehandedly ruined the Trix’s characterization to simply be your standard evil henchwomen that thirst after Valtor’s dick because truly they all have terrible taste in men, and nothing else, and it’s annoying as all fuck, ESPECIALLY when you compare the Trix as Darkar’s lackeys a season earlier, where they stayed mostly the same personality-wise and only allied with the Phoenix out of necessity and survival. And the worst part? Valtor doesn’t do shit in the season! Like, at all! He only ever gets Chimera, Cassandra and Diaspro on his side, blinds Aisha and that’s literally it as far as confrontations with the Winx go - outside of fighting them when they get the Water Stars and the three last battles, he spends most of the show’s time fucking around random planets getting weird magic and sitting broodily on a chair, and apparently this makes him a good villain???? Okay, sure.

And since I mentioned them, let’s get on the Water Stars for a bit, and while yes, this is the one part everyone agrees on that was weak as fuck, it still brings attention because WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. All this time there was this antithetical force to the Dragon’s Flame, super-mega-ultra powerful little thingies that could douse the Flame’s power almost permanently, AND YOU ONLY BRING THEM TO ATTENTION NOW AGAINST VAMPIRE AESTHETIC. Do you have any idea how fucking useful they could have been against the Trix in S1???? If they had gotten the little squishy motherfuckers two seasons earlier the War of Magix would have been over quicker. And it’s not like Bloom would have been in much risk, she barely had any Flame left in her.

In a similar situation, we have Enchantix, which is my second most-hated form after Tynix for similar reasons. One, where in the fuck were all the Enchantix fairies during S1? Fairy Dust is supposed to be this OP magic, and could have also been very useful against the Army of Decay. Two, the way to earn Enchantix, for what is retroactively just the final base fairy form, is far too obtuse and complicated for the average fairy, not to mention incredibly limiting - you just have to hope someone from your realm is in a dangerous situation so you can fling yourself into danger and probably die, and all you get for it are some opera gloves and a pair of barefoot sandals. Like sure a super powerful magic upgrade also happens but still, it’s such a specific situation to find yourself in that it’s no wonder no one ever graduates Alfea, it’s literally borderline impossible unless you like traveling. My last point on the transformation, and this one is a bit YMMV, 3 of the 6 Winx did not actually earn Enchantix. Bloom counts for this, but it’s an actual plot point (though it was terribly handled) so I let it slide most of the time, but Musa and Tecna? Musa didn’t even get to sacrifice anything, she just suddenly got the form and that’s it, GALATEA was doing more of a sacrifice to let everyone leave the burning library without her than Musa was. Tecna also got Enchantix without saving anyone from Zenith, and before you even type it out, no, it was never said Tecna saved the entire universe by closing the Omega Portal. None of the three English dubs nor the original Italian ever say this. That’s entirely just fanon. I have headcanonned it away as “some of the prisoners were Zenithian” to justify it for myself, but overall it was very obviously just shoehorned in because as always, the writers don’t know what to do with Tecna.

“But Drops! What about Nabu???” I can already hear you type, and no, I do not like Nabu. I don’t hate him either, outside of the fact I reject the idea of Aisha being into men in any way, shape or form, but he is very much worshipped as the Golden Child in the fandom and I’m tired of it. You can see a better description on my feelings about Nabu (as well as how the fandom loves to demonize Sky for the shit he pulled in S1 but hold nothing against either Brandon or Nabu, who pulled the same shit) here.

There *is* a part of S3 I like, that being the Solaria Usurpation arc, but it’s the one sole thing that I legitimately enjoy in the season and I’m not gonna stick around the fuckton of episodes that interrupt the arc just for that.

But what I hate the most about S3, above all this, is how goddamn irrelevant it is. Outside of getting the Winx Enchantix, NOTHING about the season is remotely relevant lore-wise or plot-wise, and the show itself acknowledges this! Even SOTLK pretends S3 never happened and the girls just got Enchantix somehow! Because of the drive Rainbow had to end the franchise’s original arc with fancy shitty CGI, they ended up making the original last season of the show, what was supposed to be the best thing before the movie, into the biggest waste of time instead. You can really just watch the episodes each girl gets Enchantix and then the final episode and you wouldn’t miss anything at all.

So the TL;DR for all this is “I hate S3 because Valtor sucks, Enchantix sucks, the pacing is garbage and there’s really nothing nice in it outside of like 3 episodes”, and I refuse to rewatch it ever again.

@mercyxkilling​ said: “can i kiss you?” other crew members be damned, she didn’t care. let them have their show if they wanted to watch. Send "Can I kiss you?" to see how my muse responds - No Longer Accepting

Pls accept and enjoy this lil ficlet about these babs. Because of you my adoration for this franchise has be revived TENFOLD and I just can’t get enough of these two being so disgustingly adorable together.

I adore you and your amazing muse so much, and I should tell you more   (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It All Happens In The Mess Hall~Cloud x Mercy a Mass Effect Story.

It was possibly the one place aboard Mercy’s ship where Cloud spent the majority of his time, that and this was where his relationships with the rest of the crew members began to gain any real traction. A neutral ground where it became so very apparent that almost every member of this ragtag group was here for the same reason. To earn a few credits and perhaps sate a thirst for a little adventure. 

And they all loved their captain with every fibre of their being. 

Cloud had spent the initial weeks of his time amongst the crew largely by himself, but this was nothing really new; naturally coy the task of attempting to relate to others was laborious at best. Even as a member of T’Loak’s court had he been a man one on his own, not that there was any love lost there whatsoever. It had never truly been a problem, not when alcohol and red sand was in copious supply and enough of an escape from the arduous day to day life living amongst the rest of the filth occupying the Omega station. Moreover this environment was so wholly different, wholesome almost, to a fault, and the longer he spent on the outside of this tight-knit collective, the longing to be included began to eat away at him. Often would he remove himself from the hall when the crew would filter in, sensing all those eye puncturing the flesh between otherwise broad shoulders. They didn’t trust him, and they had every reason to be wary.

Shotgun - a battle worn Krogan mercenary - was the first to approach him here in the mess hall, though it was after Cloud had all but shit himself believing this guy was about to pop his head like a zit (Listen... this bastard is BIG and looks very angry almost always, can’t blame a guy for feeling just a tad intimidated beneath his shadow) that he came to realise Shotgun was very interested in the firearm he was servicing at that time. 

A rather worn and very well loved M-300 Claymore - A Krogan weapon. 

A common ground was established in that moment, taking root and from that grew an unlikely friendship between them, and for a time the pair were seemingly inseparable. It was the first time in a long while in which Cloud was reduced to fits of laughter at the Krogan’s many stories, and, boy, did he have a lot of those. Maybe some were a little far fetched and embellished, but it really didn’t matter. The guy was hilarious, and Strife very much enjoyed his company, even if the guy liked to overshare on occasion. Discovering that male Krogan have four testicles dangling between their legs was enough nightmare fuel to keep the blond awake for two nights straight after the fact. And needless to say maintaining eye contact with Shotgun had been a little more difficult than usual for a few days until Strife had eventually gotten over himself. At least he knew where the term ‘QUADS’ originated now... 

No wonder Krogan were so pissed about the Genophage, all things considered of course; these guys were clearly breeding machines as well as living breathing tanks, evolved over millennia for the very purpose of brutal warfare, civil or otherwise. It seemed the Salarians and the Turians had a lot to answer for.  

Still, oversharing and absurd knowledge about alien reproductive organs aside, the mess hall, and Shotgun’s kinship was the beginning of Cloud’s gradual unification with the rest of the team. As far as he was concerned, Mercy had very little to do with that aspect, though he knew very little of the woman and what gears she was working behind the scenes. He was, unfortunately not privy to the private smiles she kept hidden in the shadows when she would spy his social development amongst the men she cared so deeply for; he had no true reason at that point to believe she even cared about it. Though Cloud had every reason to figure that simply having him onboard, despite the toxic levels of contention his presence here initially - and unsurprisingly - wrought, was enough for her men to decide that he was, at the very least, useful; a first for him really. 

But Shotgun had done well to push open the door left ajar by their comrades and gave Cloud a golden opportunity to further still this usefulness he’d never been able to appreciate before now. He would help Vinnie during meal prep even if Cloud was only the busboy for the most part, setting tables, clearing them, washing dishes; all part and parcel of mucking in as it were and it seemed the older guy appreciated the aid. And the Turian Brothers - Adavixus and Artisius - would sometimes invite him to play in their tournaments of Numerfictil whenever Cloud was present in the mess; a game very similar to dominoes where decorative tiles with strange symbols were used to beat those already placed upon the board. It took a while for Strife to learn what each symbol meant, but the brother’s persevered with the highest level of patience. Other crew mates would join on occasion, bringing to the table cloudy bottles of homebrewed lager fermented from alien fruits beneath one of many heating vents on the ship; often pungent, almost always violently potent in which contests between the humans were born to see who could stomach the most ‘poison’ in one sitting. 

Cloud almost always lost those bets and would suffer greatly for them the following day. Though never would he complain, even when the hangover rendered him practically useless and crumpled agonisingly deep in the darkest recesses of the communal shower block. To be gathered amongst comrades around the smallest table in the mess, to be shunted playfully via the shoulders and included in the guffaws and jests from the mouths of men hailing from all walks of life and the far reaches of the galaxy, he’d be stupid to trade it in for anything else. They’d dubbed him Strifey - and he liked that more than he cared to mention. To be included, to form meaningful bonds, for all of his sorry life, that was all he’d ever wanted and it had taken him until now to even realise it.  

He was beginning to like it here, along with all the colourful people surrounding him. How strange it felt to begin associating a star-fairing ship as home. 

The trust was building, and for the first time for as long as he could even dare to recall, Cloud was being greeted with welcoming nods, hard slaps to the shoulder and raised hands on his commute to the days tasks either in the mess or the engine room where Darius resided, a rather strapping Italian-American man honing a booming voice but with the patience of a doting father teaching his son how to maintain the family vehicle. He was beginning to enjoy the eyewatering stink of engine oil and general man stink, and Darius was all about teaching his new protégé everything he could about ‘Nova’s’ inner workings and how to maintain her. 

Even his relationship with the previously emotionally elusive captain had begun to flourish. In the beginning Cloud was under no illusion that his biotic abilities were of some great interest to her. She honed similar attributes even if her gift was granted to her under very different circumstances. Yet Mercy would pick at him, complain about the state of his armour - as shoddy as it was but fit like an old favourite slipper hence his reluctance to do anything about it - though with an air of comedic affection laced from an otherwise viciously sharp tongue. On occasion she would reprimand him when his performance was lacklustre, when his actions or lack thereof became detriment to the collective of her crew. He didn’t like those days, to be reminded of his flaws and failings, and yet, from those instances began what could be considered a strange flurry of respect for a woman deemed hostile from anyone on the outside looking in. Because never in those instances did she beat him down, but drove into him how she didn’t believe he was better than what he was giving, but that she knew it to be true. Another instance where, for the first time, he was given food for thought, something to chew and improve on. 

Some hard lessons were learned this way, and her methods were brutal often resulting in volatile spats the whole ship could hear, yet somehow Mercy seemed to know that a firm hand was needed to keep the newest member of her team grounded, and no mistake was ever repeated twice. Yet after all of that, apologies for her hard hitting words would be delivered mostly without fail, once again, in the comfort of the mess hall. Cloud, of course, would take them with the upmost humility. She was the captain after all, her word aboard her ship, was as good as the word of any God. 

Despite all of this, with every mission Strife would be on the front lines with her, standing down heavy fire from the enemy and teaming up with this formidable and outrageously powerful woman to deliver precise and deadly attacks. And it was the culmination of that power, coupled with the harsh demands to be better where a whole new problem began to develop deep in the recesses of his cluttered head. Cloud didn’t recognise it at first, all he knew for certain was he was frustrated, and Mercy’s presence seemed to aggravate that issue exponentially. It wasn’t until she invited a stranger into her cabin some weeks after that the penny finally dropped. 

He was falling for her. And the sight of her bringing that man into her intimate space was a pain like no other, so much so that it fractured something inside of him he wasn’t sure he could even fix.

White-hot jealousy began to override his good senses, unable to shake the notion that it wasn’t him occupying the spaces in her bed, and throwing himself into work was doing so very little to alleviate the devastation of - once again - being on the outside looking inward. Wishing to be a part of something so very far out of his reach. 

But what could he do? Cloud knew of other crew members trying their luck and getting knocked back. He didn’t think he could handle that level of humiliation, and so he settled into a foul gloomy limbo of wanting her and never being able to have her. Residing to live vicariously through his own sexual fantasies and fucking his pillow whenever he was alone. Pathetic didn’t even come close to how he viewed his own behaviour, when he was reserved and snippy with her, yet utterly miserable was much closer to the truth than he truly wanted to admit, even to himself. Strife had even tried Mercy’s methods of attempting to deal with his predicament, inviting attractive tail onto her ship with the intent of getting his end away in a bid to alleviate the intolerable pressure building in his loins. A failed attempt at best when all he was able to talk about was his disdain for his captain and how she made him feel so damn desperate. Needless to say that instance was a flop at its very finest. 

It was Mercy he wanted, not some loose broad dragged in from a club. No one else's interest could even come close to what he wanted from her. 

Though it wasn’t long after that instance that things began to change; where he would catch her watching him only for her quickly turn away when their gazes locked. Where she would begin to make excuses to touch him, softly, so tenderly, be that with fingers through his hair in the guise of innocent curiosity, or the slow sensual dances illuminated by the strobe lights of every bar and club they’d visit. Where hands roamed over broad planes of covered flesh and set his soul on fire. Where times spent simply talking in the observation deck had drawn them closer, noses bumping together while he’d begin to drown in the warm honey of her eyes, swept away on the winds of every exhale, unable to fight against the gravity of her, and relishing how his heart pounded against the walls of his chest in eager anticipation of that very first kiss. 

Cloud was so fucking ready to fall in love with her, to plummet beyond that point of no return only encouraged by her imploring hands and those heavy lust filled hues. To kiss her, touch her, make sweet love to her and make her his. Even if they were interrupted each and every time by convenient obstacles in the form of Benny and Vinnie. 

It all came to a head during one of their many sparring sessions, tensions released as they fucked like animals on the cold floor of the training room, where she’d cried his name and nothing in the galaxy had ever sounded so sweet, where the sharp grazes running across his shoulders had never hurt so good, marked to claim him as hers together with the sensual rocking of hips and desperate pleading moans. And there on after Cloud was common presence in those spaces in her bed, peeling away the layers, touching her in her most intimate places, securing hot wet kisses against scorched flesh while she straddled his waist and rode him beyond that sheer edge of rapture itself. No amount of booze nor substances could compare to this addiction, just her hands on him was enough to make him hard, just her lips moaning his name hotly against the shell his ear enough to make him cum, for her and only her over, and over, and over again. 

Wild and untameable was she, and he wouldn’t change her for all the credits in all of Citadel Space; no finer feeling had he ever experienced to know that she, this apparition of everything Cloud knew to be beautiful, inside and out, had chosen him in the end.  

Keeping their relationship from the rest of the crew was impossible, they were too obvious with how they merely looked at one another, the way they had started to protect one another in battle, how they were caught so many times locking lips within the shadows of corridors. Yet even then, everyone knew, if the knowledge of their relationship wasn’t widely accepted as being out in the open, it was still very much common knowledge. And for her men at least, harbouring that information was insufferable. 

Until one day, in the usual place where the crew gathered, where she would muscle Shotgun out of his seat next to Cloud to claim it as her own, and she looks at him from beneath those long dark lashes and the words “Can I kiss you?” oozed from her lips like the finest syrup. Cloud gazes back, baby blue’s dropping to her mouth before flickering upwards once more to meet with those gorgeous honey glazed eyes. He doesn’t offer an answer, least not a verbal one, choosing instead to close that distance, his mouth enclosing those glorious luscious lips with the softest of coquettish sighs. 

And much to the gleeful appreciation of the crew sat amongst them, jeering and whooping in a sort of celebration for this affection they’d found in the most unexpected of circumstances. 

Because like everything here aboard the Nova, it all happens in the mess hall. 

Speaking off, I just now realized not everyone in the world had to live through one whole year of Promessi Sposi in High School.

So, here I Promessi Sposi (The Promised Spouses), the FIRST book to ever be written into the actual Italian Language, kinda, straigh out of the 800's:

0) The story is framed as a Found Footage book. The (Fictional) Author found a collection of diaries written by a second (Fictional) Author, and decided to adapt them and publish them as a completed book, changing as little as possible.

1) So, "On that branch of the Como's Lake that turns toward the Midday" is a small and simple village in the 500's, under the control of a powerful Lord. In the village lives Don (Read "Father") Abbondio, the Town Priest, a cowardly and stressed Saint Bernard in human form, and true protagonist of this story according to some critics.

2) Anyway, Abbondio Is taking his morning stroll minding his own business when he is accosted by two Bravi (Read Henchmen). The Bravi, working directly under Don (Read Asshole) Rodrigo's orders, the local lord, threaten the priest, who was to marry a young couple (The Titular Promised Spouses) later in the day, into dropping the marriage ("This marriage shall not be done. Not now, not EVER!")

3) Abbondio, cowardly Saint Bernard he is, instantly goes back into his house and tells Perpetua (Actual role among single women into aiding local Catholic priests into tasks commonly reserved to women. Basically his "Maid") what has happened, only for Renzo, One Half of the Promised Spouses, to show up all happy for the marriage.

4) Renzo Is a Blue collar worker, honest to a fault, but is also hot headed and has been eyeing some Guillotines on his free time, so the news of the local lord pressuring the local priest not to have him marry kinda tick him off. He storms back to Lucia (Lit. Bringer of Light), the other half of the Promised Spouses, to warn her that the priest is having cold feet now that there is the possibility for him to be found dead in a ditch if the two youngsters were to marry.

5) Lucia is Pious and Demure. Imagine a frail songbird but with a rosary in her grasp. That's Lucia.

6) Anyway, Lucia reveals that the Local Lord, The Incel Don Rodrigo, has been trying to fuck her for a while, mostly due to a bet he made with his cousin, the Chad Attilio, But she has always denied herself to him. This makes Renzo almost go into apocalyptic rage, but he knows he alone can't do shit against Rodrigo, so he tries more legal means.

7) The only lawyer around is corrupt, so they go directly to a superior power, Friar Cristoforo. Cristoforo used to be a asshole noble named Lorenzo, fastest saber in the north and all, but then one day his servant Cristoforo died in his arms to save him, and he had a change of heart over it, changed name, and became a good and just Friar. Dude instantly starts working to help the two Spouses, alone if he has to, even if it kills him.

8) First thing first, he goes to Don Rodrigo and tries to have him see reason. Rodrigo is unfortunately a creepy fuck ("Look, if this Lucia is so afraid, tell her to come here. I'll... Hire her and protect her for her... Services") which does push Cristoforo into actual Apocalyptic rage. He does not skewer Rodrigo unfortunately, like he would have as Lorenzo, but he does say the immortal line "The Day Will Come-!" Instantly spooking the man with the prospect of his incoming death.

9) Rodrigo is on edge now, so he calls his second in command, Il Griso, to have Lucia Kidnapped and brought to him in the night. As this happens, Cristoforo goes for Plan B, which is help the Spouses run away from the village and hide them out for a while. As this happens, Lucia's mom tries to pull a fast one too, has Lucia and Renzo attempt to strongarm Abbondio into marrying them, but the plan fails because Lucia was too Demure and Pious to go through with it, so they have to run away in the middle of the night.

10) Lucia goes to Mantova with her mom, hiding in a Convent run by the Monaca di Monza (Lit. "Monza's (Female) Monk"). She is this tragic morally grey character who was forced into the nun life by her rich father, and thinks the same is happening to Lucia, and is currently having a secret thirst with a shady dude, and has killed a fellow nun who ended up discovering it. More on this later.

11) Renzo goes to Milan. Unfortunately, revolution also goes to Milan, and Renzo, attracted by the Siren Song of the Guillotine, joins in the protests for the lack of bread. The local Spanish Governor seemingly placates the mobs, but Renzo Is accosted by a undercover cop during the riots and is blamed as a scapegoat for the whole thing, branded as a medieval times Antifa if you will. He manages to escape that situation too with the help of some other rioters, and goes further away into Veneto, another country compared to Lombardy at the time, and starts living there with his cousin, waiting for Godot Lucia.

12) Lucia is tricked by the Monaca di Monza into getting kidnapped by her Paramour. He is a Bravo too, but for another, far stronger, far more powerful Lord, one the author doesn't dare name, and is simply called L'innominato (Lit. "The Unmentioned"). He has been contacted by Rodrigo, who meanwhile has managed to use his contacts in the church to quietly have Cristoforo moved away from the village, and is doing this as a favour to him.

13) Lucia is now a prisoner of the Unmentioned, but, depressed as she is, right after she decides to take a Bow of Chastity to the Virgin Mary in the case she was to be saved, her Demure personality and Pious behaviour manage to strike the Unmentionable so hard he has a change of heart and becomes good. He dismisses the men who didn't want to go down with him with ample pay due to the loyalty they had for him, goes to town, where saintly cardinal Borromeo is currently visiting, and confesses all his crimes, wanting to repent, freeing Lucia in the process, now chaste for life.

14) Borromeo calls out Abbondio, Who was currently among the local priests in his entourage, for not doing shit to help the two Spouses, and Abbondio goes "easy for you to say, rich and powerful as you are, what should have I done, die?"

15) Then, put of nowhere, the Plague arrives. Lots of people catch it and die, among them Rodrigo, Il Griso, Attilio, Lucia's Mom, Perpetua and Cristoforo. Lucia and Renzo meet back in a local lazarette, both having survived the Plague, and Lucia reveals that she will never fuck him. Cristoforo has enough time before dying to absolve her of her vow since "The Virgin Mary Will Understand, that a vow made in such conditions is no vow at all" and Rodrigo survives long enough to be forgiven by Cristoforo, Lucia and Renzo.

16) Renzo and Lucia ho back to their village, where Abbondio, Who also survived the Plague, one of the few people in the village who did, finally marries them. They still move back into Veneto since, like... Renzo Is still branded as a Anarchist, and they live there for the rest of their lives, Renzo trying to tell his kids to never start fights, since that's how you get into trouble, and Lucia telling them that it didn't really matter in the end since she never started a fight herself yet all the men in her life gave her plenty of trouble as it is.

The End

And this was one of the most important stories of the Italian Language.

The Fall of Cordonia

Chapter Three

Trigger Warning: Infant mortality mentioned, suicide, sexual assault and murder.

A/N: Im a little shook from writing this 😬

Word count: 2342

Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Thanks to my girls @burnsoslow and @emceesynonymroll for prereading snippets.

Tagging: @khakie4 @jemrmax2love @princess-geek @rainbowsinthestorm @annekebbphotography @ao719 @texaskitten30 @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @lodberg @romanticatheart-posts @duchessemersynwalker @cordoniansqueen @burnsoslow @kimmiedoo5 @innerpostmentality @sirbeepsalot @emceesynonymroll @janezillow @cordoniantrash @jovialyouthmusic @dcbbw @moonlightgem7 @polishchoicesfan @jessiembruno @lovemychoices @mallorycortez @angi15h @hopefulmoonobject @gardeningourmet

Nikolas had not stopped crying since being placed in Marguerite's arms many hours ago. She sat on the edge of her bed with him, thrusting her nipple into his mouth, attempting to feed and soothe him;  disregarding the fact her supply dried up months ago. Each time he suckled desperately, his tiny mouth released into an erratic fit, fingers balled into tight fists, unsatisfied with his continuing thirst.

Her scent was different, the sound of her voice unfamiliar, and the beating of her heart did not have the same rhythmic tune that usually lulled him to sleep.

The Princess continued her attempts to feed and bring comfort to him, however, the baby refuses her breast. After the night she had, all the crying, Nikolas refusing to bond with her, sleep deprivation, she wasn't sure if her plan would be plausible, if this child would ever accept her as his mother.

She rose from the bed and gently laid him in the bassinet that sat directly next to her, staring at his swollen, bright blue eyes, that were full of rage and fear. Those same eyes were similar in color and form as her own newborn son, except his had been void of any emotion...there were no tears, no blinking, no pain, just stillness.

Her own eyes began to mist as she thought about that day,  privately delivering a stillborn child, two months before her due date. She knew the minute she saw the soft, downey hair of blonde that covered his small head, the father was not a current King, but, rather, a former prince.

Nikolas was the closest thing she now had to keeping her miserable reality a distant memory. Nearly the same blood that coursed through his tiny veins, was the also the one that burned with desire and passion for her almost a year ago. Would Leo ever accept this child as his own? He had been so relunctant to before, but, now, just maybe, if he held their baby in his arms, would she be able to entice him back into her world. Except, this wasn't their sweet baby, she wasn't his mother and Nikolas was making damn sure, without a doubt, she knew it.

Feeling depleted, she plopped back down onto the bed, the sheer volume of his ever continuous crying, driving her to the brink of insanity. She was positive, at that moment, all of Monaco could hear the weeping of the young prince of Cordonia; it was almost a symbolic gesture of his first duty, to share the downfall of his country and to share his displeasure.

Her hands began to shake uncontrollably and an intense pressure started to rise in her chest that caused breathing to become laborious.

She had to silence him somehow and quickly, to end the nightmare of her own enduring agony.

With her first real attempt at being a mother, seemingly failing, she called for her maid servant, unable to take it any longer. She hastily wrapped Nikolas in the blanket he arrived to her in, which bore a tiny phoenix in the corner,  the crest of his mother's house. Marguerite dropped the child in the arms of her servant, at which time, his crying began to subside. She made explicit instructions to rid her of the reminder, that once again, her failure to secure an heir and the man she lusted for, would be in vain.

The servant bowed and shuffled from the room with Nikolas nestled in her arms.

Marguerite turned to face the wall opposite of her, the one that held the sword of generations of Monacan monarchs, her tiny hands releasing it from its mount.

Gripping the pommel, she held it in front of her, and with a deep breath, thrust the blade into her gut and twisted. She fell back onto the bed as pools of hot blood flowed at her sides. The Princess ran a finger down the cool, shiny, silver blade, embracing her pending death and inevitable peace.

******

Liam directed Paul to take the remains of his step mother back her quarters and placed with dignity in her bed. He then ordered the other guard to lay the Countess with her, until proper arrangements could be made, if it ever could at this point.

With Regina and Madeleine's death happening within the walls of the palace, he was wrought with nausea, pondering who else had succumbed to this senseless atrocity. He wanted to believe Bastien's words that it was possible, Riley and Nikolas were safe, yet, the Auvernal army was able to breach the guard and protection of the palace. They had successfully taken out two of the most powerful women in Cordonia, the Queen and Prince was sure to be a bullseye in this sick game of wit and intellegence.

It was exactly one year ago yesterday, when against his better judgement, his new bride was beckoned by Queen Isabella, to visit with her in Auvernal, while they were in Texas. In a rather hostile move, Isabella, without hesitation, put on a troublesome display of the military might of her country, in what could only be construed as intimidation.

In a rather bold move, she tested Riley's ability to literally withstand the heat, a test he wasn't surprised she accomplished flawlessly. Would Liam really be able to outwit his opponent without his queen by his side? If Bradshaw was the man Isabella described him as during that trip, obviously weak and vulnerable, she could potentially be far more dangerous than he was.

When Nikolas was born three months ago, both Riley and Liam agreed their son would not be part of a marriage agreement. They both felt that what they shared and their experiences together, was far more important than any political alliance. A healthy relationship built on love made the monarchy stronger in their opinion.

They both knew the reprecussions of their decision, yet never expected an all out war for it. He presumed the greatest threat to Cordonia would be an embargo on trade with one another and political alliances, that he in turn would render economic sanctions against them. Would he have changed his mind had he known this would be the fate of that conclusion? He didn't know, not yet, it would depend on the personal cost to his family and his people.

Last night, Liam was sure that he had lost everything that truly mattered to him, but, something in his heart gave him a sense of peace. He had always told himself that he didn't exist without Riley, yet, here he was, living, breathing and feeling. Liam could sense her in his soul and he was prepared to move heaven and earth to bring her and their baby home to him.

He sat down at his desk, eagerly awaiting word from the Italian officials, to give him an update on the retaliatory attack. Francesco was already working tirelessly to gather other allies together and provide security and assistance for Cordonia.

Bastien found an unbroken bottle of scotch in the cabinet and poured two tumblers of it, handing one to Liam. They eyed one another, both in understanding of the calamity that would be ensuing, knowing it had to be done.

Bastien raised his glass to the King, gesturing for one last toast, in light of the situation.

Liam swirled the contents of his glass before tapping that of his head guard's.

"To my King and Queen, long may they reign"

Liam nodded in kind to Bastien, then downed the liquid, "To My Queen...".

*******

Leo dropped to his knees, clutching the hole that burned in his stomach, with a mixture of shock and remorse scrolling across his face.

"You were saying?", Bradshaw asked, before Leo fell face first to the floor, his head bouncing from the surface.

Bradshaw casually placed the gun back into the safe, pulled a handkerchief from his suit pocket, and wiped the moisture and soot from the palm of his hand.

He strolled over to Leo, dropped to one knee and lifted his lifeless head up by the back of his hair. "Leo, Leo, Leo....it appears we both have something in common....we never miss our targets". He mused, thinking about Marguerite and her lost baby, that neither he, nor,  Leo wanted anything to do with. He releases Leo's head and it thuds to the ground.

The King's informant ushers into the room with fervor, asking permission to speak about grave information.

"Your Majesty....intelligence from Rome has informed me of an impending attack on our city by the Italian's in retalliation of Cordonia".

"How much time do we have?".

"Just under an hour, sir".

Bradshaw furrowed his brows, preparing to unleash his next plan earlier than anticipated, but, it was, afterall,  his ace in the hole.

Bradshaw leads his guards, dragging a bloodied Leo behind them, leaving a crimson trail out of the dining area. They walk briskly down the corridor and to the room where he is holding Riley hostage. He directs his men to throw her brother in law on the bed next to her.

Riley is barely conscious, she has a few broken bones and extensive bruising throughout her body. She watches groggily as they enter, then lets out a blood curdling scream as she catches sight of Leo's gunshot wound. Its then that she realizes she was a hostage. Recognizing Bradshaw immediately, she makes a concerted effort to move, to run, to fight back, however, the pain is too great.

Bradshaw orders everyone out of the room, his guards, the nurses and servants. He checks the video feed and when he is sure it is ready, he sends a direct link to Liam's email; time was of the essense.

As he waits for Liam to respond, he eyes Riley, admiring her petite frame and curvacous figure, just as he had the day she was first introduced to him at Valtoria. He licks his lips, as lustful thoughts take hold of him and he trails an unwelcome finger down the length of her cheek and across her neck. She was his prisoner, completely dependant on him and he wanted nothing more than to hear his name screaming from her lips.

He leans down, licking her face and across her tightly closed lips, feeling greatly aroused by her whimpers and powerlessness. He runs a hand across her flattened stomach, only covered by the thin white gown the nurse changed her into.

He grabs her cheeks with one hand and squeezes harshly until she can no longer keep her mouth closed; he immediately thrust his unwanted tongue into her own as she tries to pull away. His mouth catches her every groan with the deepest pleasure and he inhales her barely escaped breaths.

"Get the fuck off my wife!", an irate and panicked Liam yells as Bradshaw pauses his assualt.

He looks behind him at the laptop, set up for this particular moment, seeing the ire and disgust on Liam's face. Bradshaw curls his lips into an evil grin, this was more satisfying than he had anticipated.

"Riley! Love...can you hear me...I'm right hear...I'm right here", his voice cracking with relief at her survival.

Bradshaw lets out a small laugh, "And she is right here.....I assume you will be calling off your minions....or is it boom boom for...your love".

"Liam....I love you", Riley forces the words out of her lips with a horrendous sob.

"Sweetheart, oh god, I love you too....is Nikolas with you, is he alright?".

Bradshaw interrupted, rolling his eyes, "Oh please, spare me of the sickening declarations of love.....are you calling off the Italians or what Liam?".

Liam motioned for Bastien, giving him directions to contact the Prime Minister at once to halt their sssault immediately.

"What do you want Bradshaw?", he asked, while Bastien made his call.

"You know what I want."

"A political alliance and a marriage contract between our children...do I still have a child, Your Majesty?".

"You do....not that you'll benefit much from him".

Liam let out a shaky breath, closing his, thanking God for the knowledge that his son and wife were still living.

"I'll ask again, what do you want then?

"Surrender Cordonia to me".

"No Liam, don't!", Riley yelled out, before Bradshaw turned, smacking her harshly in the face.

"DAMN IT BRADSHAW!". Liam screamed in anger and frustration, feeling completely helpless.

"I give you your wife back, tell you where your son is, and all you have to do is surrender your reign and country to me".

There was no question what Liam's answer would be, however, it wasn't that simple, "I can't...not without consent from the council....this isn't something I can control alone and I presume half the fucking council is dead".

Bradshaw shrugged his shoulders and pursed his lips, "Then I have no choice but to force your hand further".

"What do you mean?", Liam asked, knowing he did not want to know the answer to his question.

Bradshaw, still positioned next to Riley, reached over, gracing one of his hands up her thigh and the other cupping her breast over her gown. Riley began to cry out, begging him to stop.

Liam stood from his desk, watching the exchange, "I'LL DO IT....I'LL DO IT.....JUST LET HER GO!!!".

Bradshaw ignored Liam and Riley's cries, immensly gratified by his complete control over them...he was the puppetmaster.

Liam had both hands clutching his hair, tears streaming down his face, his whole body shaking, "You fucking peckerhead, so help me, I'm going to rip your throat out".

Bradshaw tugged on Riley's panties and he groped himself through his pants, slowly pulling down his zipper.

With Liam still screaming in the background, Riley turned her head, unable to look at her husband as Bradshaw prepared to defile her.

She stared at Leo, whose head was only a few inches from hers, his eyes starting to flicker open. She let out a fearful gasp, as her legs started to slowly part and Leo could see the trouble in her brown eyes.

Inhaling deeply against the pain he was wracked with, he bolted up, grabbing Bradshaw around the neck with such force, the King thought it would pop off his shoulders.

Bradshaw hit Leo in his wound, while trying to tear the powerful grip he had around his neck.

Leo took his other hand, placing it on the jaw of the man before him, and twisted as hard as he could., until he got the desired snap he wanted.

Hi, here's my essay on NN, please give me a good grade!!! 💞💞💞

Babe. I’m not okay. So here I go, I’m officially writing my “last” ask for Napule Nights. I opened a proper document to write this and everything, usually I just use the notepad on my laptop, but this is serious business and you deserve to know how magical, special and incredible this story is. Fifty two chapters? I’m so shook by that number. Every single one has been filled with excitement and rich, gorgeous description that makes my heart tingle for Alex, that has drawn me deeper and deeper in love with our Mafia prince. As you know, I read the last chapter last night in bed after you finished the first draft and you know how much I cried, how much it all means to me, how overwhelmed I was. I’m going to attempt to dissect this chapter in all it’s glory as best I can and as I’m submitting this (deffo not gonna be worth the effort of 100 asks), I’m truly going to go off.

So first of all - We open on my darling Jade, my triple fire bish. God I love her so much even though I hate her so much. She genuinely feels like a lifelong friend at this point. You know I’m weak for character development and the satisfaction on Jade’s face, the power she has as she’s going to see her man, the fact she’s flanked by and not being escorted by Matt and Jamie is so wonderful. 

Special shoutout here to every single character and OC you’ve added to NN. From Matt and Jamie being badass, sarcastic babes to Miles being the most extra, flamboyant, hilarious Mafia icon/hoe, to Serena, Alex’s parents, the truly putrid Adriana, Alfonso, Mancini, all of the people who hurt our babies, (quick mention of my number one hun Rocco, best character I ever named, love him) and I just really love “Lana” for obvious???? reasons. It’s incredible how you’ve adapted already established people from Al’s world into the universe of NN and created such believable OC’s at the same time, they all play such a vital part in the story. It’s a talent I’ll never quite be over.

Then Alex, oh my sweet tineh babeh, he’s come so far but has never been any less hot. We’ve watched him struggle internally and externally, fight for power and dominance in his love life and work life and he really is on top of the world now. He’s cocky, possessive, arrogant and extremely rude but I love him fiercely. It never gets any less hot when you’d describe him and this time was no exception. You know I’m weak for him just greeting her by saying her name - I’ll never be over it. I love how addicted they are, how they radiate towards each other and have learned each other so naturally, it’s so perfect. Love Jade being a badass business woman who secures deals for her man (side note: imagine how jealous he’d be knowing she’s surrounded by other men when he’s not there, mmm). They’re so proud and attracted to each other’s brains just as much as how hot they both are and that’s just incredible. Each tiny soft touch makes me melt.  He is such a tease about her contract and I’m just as excited for it as she is. And honestly, can’t blame her from wanting to sleep with the boss, I mean same. He is so desperate to prove he owns and is in charge of her and the smut as a result of that is too good. Puppy has made a return and I cannot with that nickname, he is such a tineh puppeh. He’s so hot and demanding and got himself worked up so quickly, I love it, their fire will never go out. Him taking his time undressing and using his belt - mmmmm what a bitch. I hate him. As always so many poetic lines even in the smuttiness. ‘She was too much, her desire matched by only his own in a way that was so unapologetic, so beautiful, and he never wanted to tame it’, ‘he was satisfied knowing she’d be bruised the next day, inside and out and he had every intention of tending to her every wish when she was’. Can he leave???? Please??? You attacked me a lot, he’s so soft with his kisses and touches even when he’s being this hot powerful bitch and I can’t with it. The “I’m ‘ere…” mmmm, I love him. He makes me so happy. Redressing her, being needy for her to stay, to enjoy the afterglow with him. It’s so perfect. Can he not kiss her jaw? Them sharing a smoke, teasing each other, being so wrapped up in the warmth as they drink together is so intimate and so different to the first time he had her over his desk. The parallels are wonderful and I obviously noticed them all but it’s so incredible how much has changed. They show so much obvious love and care for each other, the pride he has watching her work, the silly giggles they have together, the respect they show for each other - ‘getting lost in the way he spoke, the way his mind worked, brilliant and unapologetic’, ‘finding herself hopelessly lost in everything he stood for once again’. It’s all so final but full of hope and I love it. My king and queen of Naples. I love them.

So here we go, hope you’ve enjoyed my essay.

This story has helped me through so many shitty days, has been there when I’ve been feeling my absolute worst and has brought me so much joy and endless escape, I seriously cannot thank you enough. I have so many favourite chapters and moments in NN, too many to list here but you know I’ll tell you in detail why I love them over and over again. I am so excited to re-read it from the beginning. I loved learning Italian with you. I loved researching fanceh food and drinks with you, naming cocktails and places and bars. I loved (hated) describing Jade’s dress in every chapter, envisioning each setting and brianstorming ideas with you. I loved thirsting over how hot Al is when he’s in control. I loved every conversation and idea we had about them. Reading it, developing it and planning NN with you has not only genuinely made me a better writer, it has also been the biggest honour and it really is part of the reason our friendship became such a huge, important part of my life. I am so thankful I get to be a part of this universe, their world, these tiny idiots who have grown so much and so beautifully. From the bottom of my heart thank you, for this story, for your love, your friendship and for being the incredible, selfless, talented pisces Queen you are and always will be. I love you now and always 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

I honestly adore you for being so immersed in this story and taking it so seriously and always helping me out with it when I needed it and genuinely making it a better story. It would be nothing without you, the true Mafia prince our tiny son is wouldn’t have developed that way!! You know how hard establishing OCs is so the fact that you like Jade so much as a character (and hate her too) honestly makes me so so happy, thank you for helping me describing her outfits, discussing how she would react and what she would do and just generally stanning her and talking about her. And I’m so happy you liked all the other characters too, how I’ve put them in or developed them (especially Lana 😏) and thank you for helping with that as well, thank you for helping me research and just discussing everything in this story, it truly is so fun and I could not have done it without you, it’s improved my writing for sure to write with you and I don’t know what I’d do without you! I know I did you a massive attack with everything Alex says and does, he is a soft puppy but he’s a hot and dominant bitch and I love writing him that way, mmmmmmmm. That’s our son. Thank you for pointing out my lines that you enjoyed too, you know how much I value your opinion. 

I love you so so much, this story wouldn’t be what it is without you and I mean that and I want you to not doubt that because it’s true. It would be boring and generic without you and you made it what it is. I am so excited to develop the one shots with you and I’m so excited to write everything with you. You’re the best and I’m so thankful that you’re my friend, you’re a Queen!!! 🧡💝💓💛💕

We Point Out All the Cameos and References in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind (So You Don't Have to)

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is an epic that spans continents, generations, and even multiple casts of characters. Despite this, it somehow manages to all come together as one cohesive narrative about one man's thirst for power and a bloodline resolved to thwart him at every turn. It's latest iteration--Golden Wind--centers around Giorno Giovanna, a descendant of the Joestar bloodline on a quest for control of the Italian mafia. While this premise might sound very self-contained, it's actually quite connected to the overall JoJo story. The first episode alone contains references to each and every JoJo arc that came before it.

  Now, it's been a hot minute since Diamond is Unbreakable graced the screens of our respective devices--we can't blame anyone for being a little fuzzy on some of the previous crazy capers the various Jojos have all gotten into. To remedy that, here's a rundown of every reference and cameo so far in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind!

Our first cameo in Golden Wind is none other than Koichi Hirose, the lovable pint-sized sidekick from Diamond is Unbreakable. What he lacks in height, he more than makes up for in heart. After being shot by a mysterious bow and arrow, Koichi avoided death and came out the other side with mysterious Stand powers. Joining forces with Josuke and Jotaro to root out the evil within his hometown, he took down a con-man, swayed the heart of a creepy stalker, and even stood toe-to-toe with a sadistic suburban serial killer! Without the efforts of Koichi Hirose, Yoshikage Kira and his unbeatable quartet of abilities would continue to terrorize the quiet streets of Morioh. Speaking of which, Morioh’s town symbol can be spotted as a sticker on Koichi’s suitcase.

In response to a compliment on his proficiency speaking Italian, Koichi eludes to being helped by a certain man named Rohan. This is, of course, a reference to Rohan Kishibe, Morioh’s resident professional manga artist. When he’s not busy drawing his hit shonen manga Pink Dark Boy, Rohan is often found licking spiders, setting houses on fire, and using his Stand Heaven’s Door to make little Koichi Hiroses everywhere miserable. Heaven’s Door gives Rohan the ability to read people like a book... literally. He actually turns people into books and reads everything about them. He can also write things in the margins of these books that manifest into reality, such as “Koichi Hirose can speak fluent Italian.” He sounds kind of like a jerk, but don’t worry, he’s a jerk with a heart of gold (silver at the very least).

Fun fact: Rohan is a huge fan of the film Pretty Woman, and spent ¥2,500,000 on furniture identical to those used on-set in the 1990 Julia Roberts film.

Not even five minutes after his plane lands, Koichi already finds himself in need of assistance from his Stand: Reverb Act 3. We don’t get a good look at Reverb here, but it’s an impressive display of its ability to add tremendous weight to any object within range. Koichi understandably strikes a pose to punctuate its coolness.

DIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--wait, why does GioGio own a picture of a long-dead vampire with the ability to stop time and yell “WRYYYYYYYYYYY” in the sexiest way possible? Why would the assumed heir to the heroic Joestar bloodline keep a photo of their arch-nemesis inside his wallet and not on a pillow underneath a larger picture of said nemesis simply labeled “NEMESIS”? Worry not, we’ll find out soon enough.

Hmmm, Giorno sure likes the word “useless,” doesn’t he? Wasn’t there some other guy in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure who said that a lot?

Here we get a flashback to Koichi being tasked with his mission to Italy by none other than Jotaro Kujo! Jotaro is, of course, a former vampire hunter turned marine biologist who can stop time and punch people REALLY hard. Jotaro was the hero of his own arc in Stardust Crusaders, before assuming more of a supporting role in Diamond is Unbreakable. As a student, he traveled from his native country of Japan halfway across the world to Egypt in pursuit of the aforementioned evil vampire DIO. After a long, hard journey, Jotaro punched the immortal being so hard he turned into ash and died. He later traveled to Morioh to contact his younger uncle Josuke and investigate a string of local murders. It’s there that he also met Koichi.

Jotaro happens to mention the Speedwagon Foundation in this flashback, a name with a history that extends all the way back to Phantom Blood. Robert E. O. Speedwagon was the name of a common street thug who attempted to mug Jonathan Joestar on the cold streets of London one night. However, he was won over by the gentleman Joestar’s compassion and joined him in his pursuit of the soon-to-be evil vampire Dio Brando. After the suspected death of Dio, Speedwagon left for America, where he stumbled into becoming a massive oil baron. With his fortune he set up the Speedwagon Foundation, a global organization dedicated to the pursuit of evil individuals and artifacts with paranormal abilities, such as Pillar Men and Stand users. After working with them in Stardust Crusaders, Jotaro joined the Speedwagon Foundation.

While Golden Wind has yet to fully reveal Giorno’s true ties to the Joestar bloodline, he clearly seems to possess their famous way with women.

Finally we get the full reveal of Reverb Act 3 and his big shorts.

After Giorno escapes him, Koichi reports back to Jotaro and mentions that “Stand users are drawn to other Stand users,” a common refrain from Diamond is Unbreakable used to explain why so many darn Stand users all live in quiet Japanese suburbs.

In this same conversation we get a shot of the titular Stardust Crusaders: Jotaro, Kakyoin, Avdol, Polnareff, Joseph, and Iggy the Boston terrier. This picture of Stardust Crusaders' main cast was taken during their long journey to Egypt in pursuit of the evil vampire DIO. They will all be missed.

While gazing at this picture, Jotaro reveals to Koichi that he’s the one who killed Giorno’s father. Here, most would assume he means the user of Dark Blue Moon, but he actually means DIO. It turns out that after his reappearance in Egypt, DIO took some time out from killing and eating people to father a son. If you’re wondering why this makes him a Joestar instead of just a Brando, don’t forget that the body DIO used to father Giorno belonged to none other than his adopted brother Jonathan Joestar. Jonathan had supposedly killed the vampire Dio Brando, but it turned out he only succeeded in killing Dio up to the neck. His head lived on and swore vengeance on Jonathan, going so far as to stow away on a ship and murder its passengers, including Jonathan. He attached his head to Jonathan’s body and locked himself inside a coffin that sank to the bottom of the ocean, only to be unearthed a century later.

    It remains unclear why Giorno keeps such a sensual photo of his father as a keepsake.

Koichi then mentions the bow and arrow, an ancient artifact that has the ability to draw Stands out of those with the ability to wield them and kill those without. DIO uses this artifact to recruit Stand users to his side in Stardust Crusaders, and it pops up again in the hands of one of DIO’s associates in Diamond is Unbreakable. Koichi owes his own Reverb ability to being stabbed with this very artifact.

Fast-forward a few episodes, and it appears that a Stand associated with the prisoner Polpo is in possession of an arrow too! What could it mean that another bow and arrow happens to pop up in the same city as the son of DIO? Can Koichi use his knowledge and experience to aid Giorno on his quest? Will any other fan-favorite characters make an appearance at some point? One thing’s for certain: one of the most wild arcs of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure has only just begun, and I for one can’t wait to see what else it has in store for us. 

Were there any references so far that we missed? Are there any characters you'd like to see come back for Golden Wind? Let us know in the comments below!

-----

Danni Wilmoth is a Features and Social Videos writer for Crunchyroll and also co-hosts the video game podcast Indiecent. You can find more words from her on Twitter @NanamisEgg.

By: [email protected]

Propaganda

Kyōko Kagawa (Tokyo Story, Sansho the Bailiff)— She's just so charming and talented and pretty what else could you want

Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)—Major Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Kyōko Kagawa:

Sophia Loren:

im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty

She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65

OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)

One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.

Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances

JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL

Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.

Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face 😳

Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.

Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.

Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.

Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.

Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isn’t self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.

She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.

On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non è vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."

EROTICA

His Kitten

The club was electric tonight. It was a loud mix of sex and booze and money. It's places like this where you come to forget everything you know or want except to live for the moment.

I slid down the pole seductively, grinning as I heard a roar of whistles and cheers that eventually got drowned out by the music. As I came back up I gave the crowd a nice view of my perfectly round bottom, barely covered by my racy black panties.

I turned around and slid my hand down my chest in a slow, lingering touch while I bit my lip provocatively. I twirled my hands in my ruby red locks giving an eyeful to the salivating men right at my feet. Kitty! I heard many of them scream, trying to catch my attention.

I loved when they stared. Looking is free after all. But to touch mmm, that comes with a price.

I got down on my hands and knees, a crowd favorite, and crawled around the stage, thrusting my ass in the air like a feline cat. There was a particularly handsome stranger in the front, his eyes glued to me with a strong drink in his hand. I crawled impossibly close to him and dipped my tongue in his glass, proceeding to kiss him just once. A kiss I'm sure he'll never forget.

People went wild, trying to get a taste of Miss Kitty. I got back up and finished my sexy number, making sure I ended the dance with a nice, clear view of my soaked panties. The vibe and action of this place made me wet and horny. I needed to find my...

"Looking for me?" that familiar, sultry voice said as I stepped offstage in my super high heels.

I paused in the dark stairway and watched with excitement as my lover and master stepped out of the shadows, a hungry look plastered on his beautiful face.

I could never get enough of my dom. Every time I laid eyes on him felt like the first time. It's hard to describe how I feel when he's around me. Excitement, need, lust, thirst...

"Mmmm," I moaned as he pressed his cold lips to the nape of my neck, kissing gently and inhaling my scent. "I take it you enjoyed the show," I whispered, looking into his big, gorgeous eyes and kissing him passionately.

"There's very few things I enjoy more than watching you dance, kitten" he said, biting gently on my lower lip.

"Oh yeah, like what baby?" I purred, pushing my body against him. God I needed him so badly it physically hurt.

He smiled that sinister smile, the one that completely exposed his mouth full of gold and diamond. His heavily tattooed hands moved up my body, over my breasts and to my neck where they wrapped around. I knew what it meant when he did this. He wanted to punish me...but why?

I knew better to question him when he was in this mood. I could only anticipate what would be coming to me...a rough, sick fucking that wouldn't end until he believed I learned my lesson.

"Come along Kitten, I have some business to take care of," he whispered in my ear before releasing his hands on my neck and engulfing my small hand in his.

His stride was long and powerful. I struggled to keep up in my heels but he wouldn't slow down. He waved off people who tried to get his attention and threw back the heavy velvet curtains of the VIP section, reserved for the elite and famous.

"OUT!" he barked at some cigar smoking mafia men being entertained by some very expensive escorts.

They stood up immediately, ready to argue with Vladimir, but they saw the look on his face and reluctantly took off, cursing in Slavic tongues. You see, what Vladimir wants he gets. He owns this city and more. His power and influence is undeniable and enough to make even royalty cower to him. He's deadly, and he's mine...

"You know there's a million other places we could have gone to for privacy," I whispered, again pushing my body onto his, and kissing his delicious lips. But I noticed he was rigid and distracted.

"Make yourself comfortable kitten, I need to make a quick phone call."

I sat on the plush velvet lounge chair and he splayed himself out on the one across from me, immediately removing one of his many cell phones from his jacket.

"Bring him in," he said barely audibly. Within seconds a man was roughly carried in by two beefy security guards. They tied him tightly to a chair and didn't leave until he was securely bound. I realized it was the same guy I had kissed during my dance and felt my stomach knot up. Oh shit...

Thanks boys, Vladimir said to the security, throwing a few hundred dollar bills at them. When they departed, Vlad drew the curtain shut and turned towards the man, flashing him a sadistic grin. I knew much too well what that grin meant.

"Look, I don't know what the fuck it is you want from me but I don't want no trouble. Do you know who I am? Pietrov Lossini, Italian billionaire. Not some punk you can intimidate," the man spit out.

"Shhhh. Don't get too excited baby, we're just getting started here." Vlad then let out a hysterical laugh which I joined in with. We're fucking crazy what else can I say?

"Now listen uh..Mr. Lossini. I'm having a bit of trouble understanding why you thought it was okay to put your hands on my girl."

The man immediately opened his mouth to defend himself but Vladimir put his finger to his lips and got real close to him, pulling out a fully loaded gun.

"I don't wanna listen to a novel. Just summarize to me exactly why I shouldn't blow your brains out right here, right now?" Vladimir whispered, tauntingly close to the man's face.

Pietrov grit his teeth and exhaled through his nostrils. "I didn't fucking touch your girl" he spit out.

Vlad laughed again and laid the weapon down, coming over to me. "See that's where we disagree sunny boy." He pulled me onto his lap and kissed the lower corner of my bottom lip. "Sweetheart why don't you tell everyone nice and loudly who your pussy belongs to."

Fuck, I knew I wasn't off the hook just quite.

"You," I said meekly, suddenly fascinated with my shoes.

"How about a little louder love, our guest here may be hard of hearing."

"My pussy belongs to you baby. My whole body is yours to do what you want with."

Vladimir grinned and squeezed my ass. "The lady has spoken!" he said while starting to unbutton his crisp white button down. I could feel his hard, angry cock like a snake underneath me. I didn't know what he had planned but I knew it was going to be vile, filthy, but oh so deliciously good.

Pietrov wriggled around in his restraints, letting out a string of Italian curses when he saw he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I moved my hips circularly on Vlad's lap earning a deep sigh and trace of kisses on my neck. He held my waist possessively and spread my legs wider, tracing his cold, ring-laden fingers down my hips to my hot, wet core.

The cool feeling of his long, skilled fingers elicited a feline moan from my lips. I let my head fall back into his neck. I could feel his heartbeat against my back and the security of his grasp in all of my nerves.

"Can you smell that Mr.Lossini? That's the beautiful scent of a woman ready to be fucked. Now, as much fun as it would be to blow your brains out, I'd rather make you sit here and watch me fuck and use what belongs to me. I dare you to take your eyes off of this even once, and you'll be feeling your way along the streets for however long I allow you to live.

With the conclusion of his ice-cold threat my Dom suddenly ripped apart my skanky little stripper outfit in one gesture, exposing my lacy bra and panties, which came off just as quickly. I was practically dripping by this point. My panties were a soiled mess, and Vladimir knew that, but I know he wanted to punish me tonight so I wouldn't be having his cock just yet.

He fisted his hands in my ginger curls forcing me from his lap to my knees, exposing his long, thick pierced cock in the process. With one hard slap to my tits he forced himself in my mouth, filling it as far as he could go.

Like a good girl I held onto my master's thighs and sucked him just the way he liked it, messily and loudly. With a tight grip on my hair he bounced my head up and down, muttering sick things to me with the occasional light slap to the face. His cock, swollen and engorged was at the complete mercy of my lips and tongue while I was at the mercy of his hands. That's how a lot of things happened in our complicated relationship.

"Oh fuck, don't make me cum you sneaky little bitch," he said, with an edge of humor to his tone. I smiled seductively, and fondled my breasts for his pleasure. He helped me up and I eagerly straddled his lap ready for him to make me forget my own name.

He kissed me passionately and roughly, leaving what would surely turn into a trail of light bruises tomorrow on my skin.

"Ah, I nearly forgot about our lovely guest. How about you turn around so we can give him a show baby?"

I willingly accepted and reversed myself, so that I was facing Pietrov. He no longer seemed murderous and agitated, but dizzy with lust and excitement.

"You like what you see, don't you boy?" Vladimir taunted. Pietrov absent-mindedly nodded, never taking his eyes off of my naked body.

Vladimir chuckled a deep laugh and held my wrists together behind my back. He leaned us back against the cushion and I obediently lifted my hips as he positioned his thick cock at my soaking wet pussy.

I sunk down on it, immediately gasping at the sensation of fullness inside of my body. Millions of nerves came alive, and I felt my whole body alight with almost electrical pleasure. Our moans were in unison as we fucked, raw and rough like animals. My Dom was most vulnerable during sex. His other, softer personality showed itself in his moans, and passionate thrusts.

He held onto me for dear life as he plowed into me. His heavy, cum-filled balls slapped against the extremely sensitive part of my clit, making me desperately need to cum for him.

"You need to cum baby?" Vlad said, in a feral-growl like tone. It's as if he read my mind. A particularly deep pounding elicited an orgasmic response from me, confirming his thoughts. He chuckled into my ear and kissed me tenderly on the lips while he roughly jerked his hips upward, increasing the speed and intensity of the sex.

I cried out and held on for dear life as he tore my pussy apart. I could feel the strength of his thrusts and grip weakening with each passing second. He was going to cum soon.

My body couldn't take it anymore. I needed to release right now as I felt I would explode. The piercing on the head of his glorious cock was slamming into my g-spot with each rough screw until the pleasure was unbearable.

Vladimir gasped and with a cry of pleasure, climaxed inside of me. "Cum for me baby, cum for your master," he choked out, holding onto my waist as he spastically shot out rope after rope of hot, thick batter into my body.

My climax was harsh and shattering, draining me of all my energy. The same thoughts ran through my head after every time we had this kind of sex..he ruined me, I won't be able to walk for a week.

I kissed his delicious inked skin, and let him completely envelop me in his arms. I smoothed my hand through his green locks and rested my head against his chest until his heart beat slowed down.

"Do you love me kitten?" he whispered. I looked up into his eyes and nodded softly.

"Good, now wait here while I slit this man's throat."