#you all might be able to guess . maybe..
Text
I remain as predictable as ever
#i was gonna say you might be able to guess the scene just from this#but theres actually like at LEAST three parts where people grab his face huh#and i love all of them#so maybe you can guess but only bc statistically theres like a 33 or 25% chance you get it#or. i am just that predictable#we'll find out#wip#aftg#tsc spoilers#tsc#the sunshine court#jean moreau#and to keep you guessing i will not tag the second set of hands 💕#hmm. this may be easier to guess than i thought now that i think of it lmao
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s a little frustrating sometimes to watch people try to “debunk” gay mike evidence by quibbling over things that are. kind of beside the point? like arguing that mike’s consistently negative (or even neutral, if you want the benefit of the doubt) reactions to girls aren’t “disgust” therefore they don’t mean anything. but like 1. yeah i agree, cates gate isn’t about mike being “disgusted.” mike’s face when el kisses him isn’t “disgusted.” mike’s reaction to el, to max, to girls in general doesn’t really read to me as “disgust” either. so 2. what DOES it read to you as? incredulity? confusion? discomfort? those…. still aren’t positive reactions.
the point is that mike actively and blatantly Does Not react positively toward el kissing him. and he also Doesn’t react positively to dustin’s description of a girl being “hotter than phoebe cates.” he asks “is she cute?” with maybe preemptive incredulity (in line with will's question "girls go to science camp?") over a girl who goes to science camp being cute, or perhaps just a neutrally curious state over dustin's new girlfriend, but then dustin doesn’t say “she’s hotter than phoebe cates.” he says, “think phoebe cates. only hotter.” that’s a prescriptive statement. you want to know if she’s cute, mike? think about phoebe cates, and then imagine someone hotter than that. and mike’s expression doesn’t improve in the slightest. think about someone hotter than phoebe cates, dustin tells mike. and mike? remains confused and entirely unintrigued. no, he’s not disgusted, but the point is not his negative reaction, it’s a complete lack of any sort of positive reaction. if he’s listening to dustin, he should have, in that moment, thought of phoebe cates. and his reaction?
nothing.
(but. this is also just to say... i don’t even think it's fair to call most of mike’s facial reactions “proof” of his sexuality in any argument… i think they’re fun little easter eggs that add an extra visual element to his gay characterization. but. it’s not WHY people think he’s gay. it's funny to point out BECAUSE he's gay)
[edit: AND this is not even to mention the direct line drawn to this in season four via stobin's discussion of fast times, linking phoebe cates to 'people who like boobies.' #notmikewheeler]
#y’all want gay to mean nothing less than ‘disgusted by women’ and pretend that’s not homophobic#‘he’s kissed a girl without throwing up so he can’t be gay check mate’ maybe check your homophobia 👍#this was inspired by a bylr confession anon that i shouldn’t have seen bc i have that blog blocked but it showed up anyway. this is why#(i know i called this proof uh. two years ago but it's not 'proof' i recognize that. also not going on another tangent but. there is no One#irrefutable gay mike proof and that's also the entire point. you can point out specific things out of context and say hey i think this#points in this direction. but if you pull EVERYTHNG together and analyze IN FULL then the entire narrative only makes sense from a gay mike#perspective. imo. 'well i think this one is a reach' ok fine but if you see it all together and your only argument is 'idk it's just not#that deep' i mean. fine i guess but the burden of proof is on you then. the issue is then that no one who is against gay mike is willing#(or. um. able.) to put together a COMPREHENSIVE analysis that supports bi mke as a Full narrative without brushing a bunch of stuff aside#as 'eh idk i don't think that means anything' and instead fall back to 'it's just a headcanon i don't have to prove anything to you'#but refuse to recognize that gay mike is not actually a headcanon it's a theory. backed by analysis. we are not the same.)#idk. got annoyed might delete later 😗✌️#beets posts
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could I request a moodboard that's based off of Charles Henri Sanson *from the manga innocent rouge* being a caregiver to a little boy? No pacifier please! And preferably with fantasy and book related agere stuff? Thank you lol I'm sorry this is complicated
Sure!!
#charles henri sanson#innocent rouge#!!#im very lucky that i finished this in advance#Im able to write the tags on my laptop#i dont know when this problem will be fixed#so i guess i might have to take a hiatus for a while#or i'll have to make posts and tag people#maybe i'll make a poll#anyway i hope you like it!!#it wasnt complicated at all!#sfw interaction only#moodboard#sfw agere#age regression#sfw littlespace#agere moodboard#agere
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character.
So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
-
SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me
#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your#ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it#*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like#this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask#if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had#fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your#fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your#swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my#abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of#gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up#for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how#hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know#how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy#am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other#organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it#get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to#get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh my god i have so many WEIRD self-projection tv show monkees headcanons that I feel like i’d get yelled at for having but like, it’s all about stuff that I’ve done or literally do and cannot help. sometimes i want to share them and then freak out about backlash but i feel like any backlash would just be from ableist people.
#the monkees#okay it’s not like THAT weird#like for example: peter struggles with bedwetting. like that’s not that bad i guess but people might be like NO NOT MY CHARACTER—and that’s#fine that’s fine. that’s just my little headcanon thing because i’ve had issues with that all my life and i see similarities in myself in#the character of peter#stress and autism combined does not bode well for brain being able to focus on keeping piss inside body while sleeping#especially when you have bad nightmares#which i think peter sometimes gets. maybe after the devil and peter tork#i’ve just been thinking about these kind of headcanons because i’ve been going through it recently lol#like all the crazy stuff#and the monkees help they really do. it’s a weird comfort from my childhood to put all of my struggles onto mike or peter or davy#(i did not like micky as a kid and now i feel bad! i love micky now!! shut up idiot child!!! he’s wonderful!!!!)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#my cousin is busy tonight. my parents just went out for the evening. I'm not going to the gym. and i have no friends who live very close#I want people!!!#i would not be able to live all by myself because I cannot stand being alone most of the time (especially in the evenings)#i would go watch the new planet of the apes movie but i hate the idea of going to movies by myself#and I'm saving it for next weekend#I'm too introverted to randomly text any friends and ask if they want to hang out#and I'm too extroverted to want to be by myself#the frienda i do have that i might be willing to text all live 45min+ away btw#another thing that seriously stinks about being one of the few people my age who goes to my church#the only other one who is my age and lives close is my cousin (see first sentence)#i guess I'll cook me some supper which will give me something nice and productive to do#and then maybe I'll play zelda or pikman? i haven't played my switch in a while and that sounds mildy better than watching a movie#I hate feeling so alone (in the social sense)#normally I'm too busy or my parents are around and we can watch something or play games#but man. when they go out...it's not fun#and I could have gone with them tonight but going to restaurants is just not a fun experience when you have 5+ food allergies#yeah...lots of rambling but I just wanted to get some of that off my chest...#the ramblings of a dragon
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I might delete this later but I'm feeling a bit disheartened and want to just put this out there into the world but not super publicly#But like#The worst part of being overweight in my opinion is that it's so so hard to feel cute or pretty or even decent looking#I'm going to Japan with my older brother next week and I've been curating a cutesy Lolita-esque style outfit for the trip and I finally#got the last of the pieces so I tried it all on. And it's just... no matter how hard I try I can't really see myself as cute in it#I don't know maybe pink isn't my color and this just isn't my style. But.#I tried really hard to make an outfit I'd feel cute in and it's devastating to not really see myself as cute#And it's not really that I think I look bad per se it's just...#I don't know#Not what I wanted it to be I guess#And I know that if I posted pictures people would say ''wow you look great!!!'' because people always say that kind of thing#But I'd always think they were lying or were playing it up#Even if they really weren't#I just wanted to feel cutesy and everything and it hurts somewhere deep inside to not feel that way#I'll still wear the outfit in Japan since I spent enough time and money on this outfit but it really dampens my enthusiasm#And this wasn't the first time I've tried on the dress obviously. I've been trying it on periodically all along#But I kept hoping that once it was done and I had the makeup all on maybe I'd finally be able to see myself as cute#But no#I still don't. Not really.#It doesn't help that the dress itself doesn't even fit properly#I got it on sale which is what sparked this whole idea in the first place and it was always a size too small#It never zipped properly but I was able to work around that with an outer corset that held it closed#And a lace shrug that helped hide the weird bunching in the back#I can sometimes get the dress zipped now since I've lost a little weight#But it's a struggle and I can only do it about half the time and it feels like I'm going to break the zipper each time#I'd think to buy a new dress but a) that would cost even more money and I've already spent way more than I had wanted in my endeavor#to feel cute in this dress. And b) all of the accessories are tailored to this dress specifically#It would be hard to find a good replacement and there is no guarantee that would even help#So I just... I don't know#It's just hard.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Song of the Day: March 26
"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan
#song of the day#you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll)#they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs#I love them. I adore them#'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable)#'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain#Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain#they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain'#what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy#anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/#I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times#which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is)#but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful'#and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday'#and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--'#and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning'#and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--'#and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about'#so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both#which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything?#it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/#(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better#and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it#hmm maybe yeah)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I kind of want to try making mead or ambrosia 👀
Obviously not right now because I have Shit To Do; but maybe during the summer after I’ve moved
#alcohol mention#Apparently you can make mead out of honey and I love honey so of course I have to try it#I want to make more food from scratch so I can reduce my plastic consumption#because my ten-year goal is to convert to a completely anticapitalist zero-waste lifestyle#Just for me… I don’t put pressure on anyone to do the same unless they’re well-off and being ridiculous about their consumption#Except for maybe encouraging people to switch to reusable water bottles if they’re in an area where the tap water is potable#(like where I live)#or flaunting my canvas shopping bag that I got for 5 dollars at a hardware store whenever possible#Okay I guess I do push people a little bit#But it’s all reasonable things directed at people I know are physically mentally and financially able to do those things#or I’ll just casually mention microplastics and pollution in conversation as a “fun fact”#But I’m not ridiculous about it with anyone but myself#I hold myself to some weird standards that I don’t hold others to and I’m fine with it#Obviously it’s the corporations’ faults that everything is the way it is and no single person can make a huge difference#But if everyone does one thing to help the planet; then it might buy us some time to change the system#There is also the issue of supply and demand; if more people reduce plastic intake then less plastic will be produced#But again: it’s very hard to be ethical in this society. EVERYTHING enjoyable is packaged in plastic and it sucks#(ok not literally everything but consider: most candy is wrapped in plastic and clothes have plastic tags and chips are in plastic#sushi is in plastic containers and meat is in shrink wrap or styrofoam and most modern chewing gum is a byproduct of vinyl#toys are packaged in plastic etc. etc.)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#red rants#I'm so fucking awful. god#I care about people so much but my first thought everytime is me first. me me me.#One of my friends will be crying and there will be that overwhelming voice in my head saying “can't they just get over themselves already?”#AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT WAY. I DON'T WANT TO BE CRUEL LIKE THAT.#BUT I DON'T LOVE. IT'S NOT SOMETHING I FEEL. IN ALMOST ANY WAY.#the closest thing I have is my mother#I care about them. I really do. But I can't keep doing this.#I can't keep watching them break and not being able to feel anything for them but apathy.#what am I even supposed to say? all the tactics that work with them require those emotions i can't feel!#and all the tactics I can use only hurt them more! I'm so sick of this!#I'm sick of seeing them suffer and my first thought being “At least people see you. You're lucky and you don't even know it”#I'M SICK OF BEING A JEALOUS LOVELESS ANTISOCIAL ASSHOLE I WANT FRIENDS I WANT LOVE I WANT IT SO BADLY#but what the fuck am I supposed to do. I'm too tired to even think about changing myself.#I might as well not even try to be friends with anyone. I'm not going to able to be there for them when it counts most.#maybe I've just fucking doomed myself into loneliness. I don't wanna be alone. I don't want you to be alone. You shouldn't have to be alone.#but turns out my fucking shitty broken brain is too exhausted to care about people more often than not.#i care so much i loop back around to not caring. how fucking amazing. whatever. i've never kept anyone for that long anyway#guess I'm just doomed to fail
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
okkk so hypothetically speaking just saying hypothetically if i had this EVIL yaoi in a draft post with drawings of it dating all the way back in may. would you all be mad and rip me apart to shreds if i ever even dreamed of posting it . be honest
(jigsaw puppet image) you have 24 hours
#clemramble#its not even this serious but somehow ive convinced myself that if i post a ship image thats explicitly a ship people are going to very m#ad and chase me down and kill my and ok not that serious but you get the gist#of course the worst that could happen is someone doesnt like it and just blocks me and thats perfectly fine build your online space#you all might be able to guess . maybe..#hahah but youre not allowed to guess ok infact just wipe all my posts every from your memory banks ok#my friends keep telling me to 'boss up' but i am not known for 'bossing' nor for 'up'#so i leave the peer pressure in the form of a handy poll that probably 3 people are going to see max because im not tagging this otherwise#(Imagine im saying that last part with a very annoying smirk on my face)
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.
we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together.
but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?
in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”
and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that.
but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.
#the politics of being a pretty young woman#tales from diana#i also wouldn't have felt comfortable telling anyone that anecdote about myself if they had known less about me than my friends i was with#so i guess i wouldn't be in danger of humblebragging. but sometimes i think i do? by mistake.#like when i talk about my social life in the past i always mention no one openly liked me in high school. not one person.#it very much affected how i saw myself. bc bullshit. young girls. male approval. y'know.#but in retrospect now i'm better able to tell when a boy had some kind of crush on me so i might mention it like 'he thought i was cute'#and one time a different friend i had. but one who i have also told im asexual (im trying to do that more) said to me#'you know for how unpopular you say you were in high school it seemed like a lot of ppl liked you'#i mean. yes? it's complicated. i was most certainly not popular i can tell you that.#i was more of a 'hey goob nice binder' 'hey goob wanna hang out at my house after school?' [narration: they all hated me...] kinda kid.#i probably kept myself from making friends wo realizing it but also lots of cliques i would've liked to be part of very much ignored me.#i was hot on the margins. a truly underrepresented social archetype... except that's literally every teen movie so maybe not.#i didn't have a big win in the final act that's the difference.#also before the concert we were talking about one of our other friends who is just. so fuckin funny.#like we were all talking about how much we love him. and they said they had been talking about who in the group chat we're in#has the most 'pull' and im like. pull?#like who could pick up the most ppl successfully. hypothetically.#both of them ranked me high :^) i was like. thank you.#they asked me to ponder on the topic myself and try to come back to it but i think im just confused by the concept of 'pull' itself#stromae has pull. that is all.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
The way I love hearing Shiv and Tom finally being venomous to Each Other
It’s so goddamn beautiful and Mean and real.
#TomShiv#I want them to stay together because I love seeing and watching all of this#as you might be able to guess I love watching people get divorced#((Freudian behavior on my part? maybe. but we can get to that later))#Succession#Succession Spoilers
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
I am intrigued about soul magic please expand maybe :)???
hm yes hi Trade I can very much expand on that!!!
caveat that a lot of this info is very possibly stuff I made up literally this month bc I only had the vaguest idea of how soul magic worked before starting on this particular story (ie the box for it in the twinery thing where I keep all my worldbuilding legit just has the world it comes from in it and nothing else lmao ^^; )
The vague in-text explanation we get is thus;
“Users power their spells with their lifeforce,” Jasper said. “Its main applications are healing and interrogation, but it can also be used to create locks and the like that are fine-tuned to a specific person.”
which is very rough but honestly it covers the basics. Jasper knows what he's about
When he says locks, I'm meaning like... biometric kinda scans only I couldn't remember the word when I wrote that. I may go back and write that in actually.
The other thing it can do that is like. the main part of the plot of this story is that the mages can use it to control other people! They're getting other people caught for their crimes!!
Mostly when a soul mage uses their magic, they're relying on their own life to power it. So many soul mages burn out early because they don't get the exchange right, or they just use their magic too freely. If a soul mage is old it means that either
a) they don't use magic a lot
b) they know the best exchange rates for spells (eg smaller spells will take less life)
c) they largely use it via aids such as gems and older spells that have been sunk into items for general use
or
d) they tie their spells to someone else's life.
d is why soul mages tend to have a pretty bad rep amongst the wider mist worlds. They're not as bad as green witches in general but hoo boy.
sometimes!! sometimes tying their spells to something else is useful. This is how you get the healing; you convince the hurt person's body to heal itself gotdamn quicker and if they maybe get a year or so knocked off their life in the process they probably won't notice. Can they siphon off other people's lives to extend theirs? uh. technically. yes. that's the plot of another story (sort of)*.
This is how you get the biometric locks and other fun trinkets that non-mages can use; you set the spell into the lock or the item or whatever and give it a trigger phrase or motion which can be used by anyone. Biometrics will ofc only work for like the one person, but anything else is just dependant on the person knowing the phrase or the motion. Using an item with soul magic in it is obvious - Solaris likens the feeling to a sudden weakness at one point and doesn't like using it. You can fully faint while using soul magic if you're not used to it sort of thing.
This is how you get the interrogation; no one likes having their soul poked at ok. it feels gross. they can and will rifle through your memories. Sometimes they ask for consent first (it could also be a therapy tool, I guess) but holy fuck it's tricky to do without damaging anything. Weirdly this is a fine-wire one that tends to fall more on the mage's life being the one used up because they're still the one using the magic. They could tip it the other way, but then they run the risk of like. killing the subject before they get anything useful.
The controlling-other-people part of the magic is less well known which is why everyone is so fucken stumped by the shenanigans that start this story. It's like. fairytale kinda nonsense. "the soul mage made me do it" to the tune of "the boy who cried wolf", you know?
But that one is tied to the victim's life and can be set as intricately as the mage likes. Most people never know they've even been controlled, although they'll have li'l missing screeds of time where they've just blanked the fuck out and then come to, maybe in another place with no knowledge of how they got there
noticeably it does not work well on fully bonded ferals bc they have two souls and not everyone knows this. The mage that goes after Jasper fucks up by just suppressing his human soul to make him lose the fight and uh. well. buddy's got a lynx soul in there as well, and the lynx has access to fire. That one may have backfired (lmao) on the mage that set the spell, but I'm not sure yet
The other fucked up casefile I have is Elise who is the target the soul mages are trying to get ahold of in this story bc she has a green witch sharing her body who fucked herself over by attempting to use soul magic when she was already dying. There's a timeshare going on. The soul mages stabilised them and would like the experiment back, thank you very much, but because of the stabilisation thingy-majiggy, soul magic no longer affects them. Elise would like the timeshare broken, the green witch is fairly sure she'd die in that case and Does Not Want that, no thank you. They are however both agreed that they're not letting the soul mages get their grubby little paws on them. The soul mages would like her back because literally no one can work out how the fuck she managed to make that happen. like. the only other beings that have two souls are fully bonded feral mages and uh. demons. I think is how Skilkran is classed anyway. but yeah Elise is decidedly neither like damn she's just a girl who turns into a witch when night falls.
(soul magic probably could affect them, the parameters of the spells just need to be set properly but no one's actually thought of that yet. or maybe they have but it's been since they escaped so they haven't had a chance to test the theory)
anyway! yes! soul magery! it was uhhhh it was born out of a dumb joke with brother#2 because the first time I wrote it the magic was set in the saxophone of a dude who was playing um. soul music.
that scene still exists within The Soul of the Party because there are no depths I will not sink to for a dumb joke.
*this is Mint of Red String, they may have had a bad break up with a soul mage in their youth and the soul mage reacted by uh. cursing them to drain the life of whoever fell in love with them? That gets broken with the power of polyamory and also maybe necromancy because fuck yes the gays are winning this one.
#soul magic#mist worlds#do I want to set a soul mage on skilkran just to see what would happen? maybe#we all know the answer is probably a godawful fucktonne of fire but you never know#I have yet to say anything about sole-the-fish#or sole-the-shoe I guess#maybe I can... shoehorn them in ayyyyyy#anyway I'm going to shove this into the twine file and pretend it was there all along#we love world building on the fly#definitely will find notes that contradict this tho I betcha#hopefully that is readable and also makes sense#I have been staring at a laptop on and off all day so I think I'm a li'l bit fried right now#I should probably do something else for a bit#(sleep. I might do sleep)#lisetta (the green witch who timeshares with Elise) is also an interesting one bc she legit should not have been able to use soul magic#which is possibly why they're so fucked up. like she got her hands on a healing item and went#''ah yes I shall twist this to my purposes'' although it ended up being a very heat of the moment thing#pff heat of the moment they were rolling about in a stream? having been hit by a bucket of water balloons?#I possibly need to go back and recheck that#... not the point here#that got long#hopefully it is understandable?#I fully could save this to drafts and recheck it tomorrow#but alas then i would forget it exists#no one needs that
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
call-me-galaxy-blog
I love Animal Crossing!
hotpakidad
Hot Paki Dad
aftrekkenisleuk
Naamloos
damianodavidwife
Damiano David Dynasty
s-shewolf
a.k.a. fuckingvacio