#yes jacob is a malewife | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twinktor-frankenstein · 8 months

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Goofy malewives who are surrounded by chaos and are powerless to stop it

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thefanficmonster · 2 years

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Headcanons for Jacob and Kaitlyn having kids/parenting please? 🥺

I'M GOING DOWN WITH THIS SHIP IDC 😫🥺 Thank you so much for the request dear! Enjoy 💕

Pairing: Jacob Custos x Kaitlyn Ka [The Quarry]

Warnings: None :)

Genre: Domestic Fluff, Slice of life, Fluff

This Girlboss/Malewife duo are proud parents of a set of twin boys

Ryland and Liam - both of whom are 100% momma's boys

It's an absolute joy to see the Custos/Ka family in public, for two reasons

1. Kaitlyn and Jacob look like a couple straight out of a rom-com

2. It's nothing short of amusing to see this 6'smt man carry one toddler in each arm while subtly driving his partner crazy with nothing more than a sly smile

Trust me, you DON'T want to see Kaitlyn angry

But you still do, she's adorable

Adorably deadly

That being said, she's a decently strict parent

She's to be praised for the kids' manners and pristine behavior and love for outdoor activities

However, it's Jacob who's taught the 'get out of jail' law bending techniques to the kids

He was forced to, basically, seeing as how he always got dragged into the twins' shenanigans and had to clean up their messes before Kaitlyn saw

The amount of glasses, vases, decorative pieces etc. he's had to replace ever since the twins' second birthday is astronomical

And on a few occasions the three criminals weren't smooth enough for mama to not notice

But she'd let it slide solely for the effort put into the cover-up

And those damn puppy dog eyes

Ryland and Liam definitely got those adorable, can't-say-no-to eyes from their father

It's the same eyes he used when he asked her out on a date

When he asked her to move in

When he asked her to marry him

They never failed him, always got him a yes from her

And they continue to not disappoint, now even working in the twins' favor as well

Apart from the cop/accomplice relationship, Kaitlyn and Jacob have taken onto parenting duty with a very 50/50 approach

If one takes the kids to daycare, the other picks them up

If one got them dressed in the morning, the other prepares them for bed at night

If one made them breakfast, the other will make dinner

When it comes to entertainment, Jacob is a lot more indulgent

Being a child in an adult's costume, he's joyously thrilled to play, watch cartoons and read bedtime stories for the kids

Kaitlyn makes sure to take pictures of him in peculiar predicaments such as sitting cross-legged on the floor surrounded by stuffed animals

Or like that time he put himself to sleep before the kids drifted off, becoming vulnerable to marker drawings on his face

All these pictures are in the family album

Don't worry, Kaitlyn has a fair share of her own pictures in the 'Joys of Parenting' category

Like the time she got drenched while giving the twins their first bath

Or the time he caught her genuinely interested in a random cartoon on TV while the kids were asleep

In short, if anyone would win the parenting Olympics, it'd be these two

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anticrazed · 1 year

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imagine having a multitude of ieytd ocs,, totally can't relate

Just gonna. Put them all here for future reference!

Sparrow: He/him. Agency affiliation. Member of the EOD. Very chaotic and acts like an older brother to Phoenix (usually wants to accompany them on missions). Raven's malewife.

Raven: She/they. Agency affiliation. Yes I'm giving all of my EOD ocs bird names sorry I don't make the rules. Very professional and doesn't talk a lot.

Songbird: She/her. Agency affiliation. Does more simple missions (is pretty new to being a secret agent). Timid yet optimistic.

Hummingbird: She/they/he. Agency affiliation. Doesn't go on missions, but rather creates gadgets and whatnot for the EOD (Bug Finder 2000,,)

Timedancer: She/they/it. Runs an independent company (against both the Agency and Zoraxis) called Ticking Incorporations. Radiates with "chronological energy". Can somewhat control time (however it will only affect objects near her).

Red Jacobs: She/her. Zoraxis affiliation. A famous singer because of a partnership with Zor. Sophisticated. Works in a new department that is trying to harness Timedancer's "energy".

G: She/her. Zoraxis affiliation. Very skilled at espionage. Has a very large crush on Handler (unrequited), and is often seen trying to get him to join Zoraxis. Everyone pretty much hates her, except Red because they're. Uh. Besties.

Crisis: They/them. Necessarily the "evil version" of Phoenix. Zoraxis affiliation. They and Codename are together (they met at a fast food restaurant. i have a very long backstory on both of them but that's for another post). Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

Codename: He/him. Necessarily the "evil version" of Handler (is Crisis' supervisor). Zoraxis affiliation. Has faked a British accent (Handler finding out would be "You liar. You sick, sick liar. What is this tomfoolery? Absolutely disgusting. I feel betrayed.")

#ieytd #i expect you to die #Tumblr seemed to like crisis and codename when they first came out so do with them what you will /hj #Zoraxis is fire #Ticking is water #And the Agency is earth

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chrashley · 2 months

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Since you want NSFW headcanon ideas: do any of the counselors use toys?

OH FUCK YES. i can use this to push another ryan agenda. hell yeah. thank you so much anon you've saved my life

did patience wane? by meowclops injected the concept of closeted monsterfucker ryan into my brain and i am just so violently passionate about it. he probably already wanted to fuck a werewolf pregame. i feel like he probably owns a decent collection of 4 or 5 monster-esque dildos and toys from one online shop he's very dedicated to. he usually gets them in dark red, maroon or black- he says they look sleeker that way

abi is much too shy to purchase any toys- she really wants to, though. she's worried about discreet packaging but she browses toy sites at least once a week and wistfully wishes she had the balls to order a vibrator

however, emma has a decent collection of very pretty toys that are more art than function- glass toys, for example- and once abi gets the courage to order a toy, emma offers to have it shipped to her house so they can try it out together so abi can pick it up comfortably.

kaitlyn owns a wide range of vibrators- she wants options. the only reason she owns any regular dildos is for her strap-on- which she only buys fun colors of because she hates flesh-colored dildos. and dildos with balls. she thinks balls are gross

dylan keeps losing his bottles of lube, buying new ones, and immediately finding the old ones ten minutes later. his record is six bottles in his bedroom drawer at once. his adhd is personally contributing to the sexual lubricant supply chain. on the topic of toys, i am genuinely so on the fence about if he would own a tenga product or not and it's kinda driving me crazy

jacob owns a singular silicone gas station cockring that's lasted him years for some reason. it's in rough shape but it does the job. he cleans it every time and keeps it in his pillowcase for privacy

nick doesn't own any toys or even lube, not because he doesn't want them, but because he's nervous about going to an adult superstore. he does not realize they can be purchased online.

laura is a huge, and i mean HUGE, fan of the strapless strap-on. she probably works out her kegel muscles just so she can use them more. she gets ones that vibrate on her side as well so she can have some sort of a phantom dick situation

max knew he was into anal play before he ever met laura- he owns a well-loved training set of buttplugs as well as a small dildo- not too small, just small enough to be simple. malewifing it up. laura had to slowly work him up to the size she prefers to top him with

#the quarry #dylan lenivy #ryan erzahler #laura kearney #max brinly #abigail blyg #jacob custos #kaitlyn ka #nick furcillo #emma mountebank #headcanons #nsftq #ask

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necromancers-incorporated · 3 years

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Jacob: looks like we can't mansplain, manipulate, malewife, or manwhore our way outta this one

Emma, cracking her knuckles: manslaughter it is then

Bronwyn, lifting a whole chest of drawers above her head: YES

#mphfpc #emma bloom #jacob portman #bronwyn bruntley #memes #has this been said already

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wetheoriginals · 2 years

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it's not about him being a man child but maybe just that he doesn't even find playing this character as interesting as he did when he was 20 years old AND on top of that, IF he has to do it with an entire new cast, that adds to his reluctance

he said himself that it's more about him now than it's about his career, and that he will not be afraid to say "no" when he wants to. i feel like he could just walk out and never look back, it would make a lot of people upset but he clearly doesn't care as much as he did in the past lol. does it means he lacks ambition ? imo, yes, but i'm no one to judge what he's doing with his career. if he wants to stop playing his most successful character yet right here right now, become a malewife and just film/produce little movies every 3-4 years, let him be then

this literally has nothing to do with my reply to the original ask which claimed tom is hesitant to do more movies because jacob and z won't be in them

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