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waywardnerd67 · 4 years

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Starving Affection

Summary: It had been five years since (Y/N) had any physical contact with another person. When she starts talking with a man online who reads her fanfics, a battle of her mind and body begins. When the time comes to meet him, she finds that there are still decent human beings in the world. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Sami (OFC), Plus Size!Reader Pairing: Jensen x Plus Size!Reader Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut/Body Image Distortion Word Count: 9256 A/N: Again, me working through my feels. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

My chest tightened. Jaw clenched until my teeth hurt. My body rigid and frozen as panic flowed through my veins. The overly friendly, new teacher had her arms outstretched towards me. If I had been a normal person, I would gladly hold my arms out as well embracing her kindness and affection.

I was not normal.

“Hey Katy!” My partner teacher and best friend, Sami, headed her off by stepping in front of me and taking the hit of affection.

There was a special place in Heaven for Sami and if not, I would fight God themselves to make it so. I could see Sami whispering to Katy and a nod of acknowledgement told me I would not have to worry about her advancements again.

“Sorry (Y/N), I didn’t know you weren’t a hugger. How about a high five?” Her sweet gesture had my trembling hand stretching out to her as she quickly slapped it with her own.

Only Sami could see my flinch from the physical touch of someone. Everyone else summed it up to my quirky personality and weird aversion to being touched. Thankfully our English department meeting was over and I could escape to the safe haven of my car. Sami was close behind me waving goodbye to everyone.

I bumped my shoulder to hers as she was the only one I had no problem with minor touching, “Thank you for taking that hug for me.”

She laughed, “You’re lucky I’m a friendly and huggy person. Hey, I meant to ask you before school today, but how is counseling going?”

I cringed, averting my gaze from her, “It’s… going fine.”

She stopped me with a tap on my shoulder, “The truth, please.”

I sighed as my shoulders slumped in defeat, “I stopped going,” I saw the incoming assault in her narrowing sky colored eyes.

“(Y/N)! You were making such good progress with this counselor. I was even able to give you a one arm hug.” The disappointment in her voice weighed my shoulders down even more.

I leaned against my car pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, “I know, I know. She had me go to one of her support groups and everyone had to hug someone. I… I just couldn’t. I tried three or four times going to the group and I failed every time.”

My eyes fell to the ground, disgust filling my mind, “Yes, you really are as pathetic as you’re sounding.” My inner voice snarked.

I heard Sami sigh, “It’s okay. We can work through it together. We can keep doing everything you liked from her and work at your pace.”

Looking up, I forced my lips into a small smile to appease my only real life friend, “That sounds good. Thanks Sami for putting up with me.”

I made my way home to a small ranch style home that was off the beaten path. My grandparents had left it to me knowing I would love the seclusion of it. It was my Fortress of Solitude. The only living thing, other than Sami, to be able to snuggle with me was Charlie the cat. The copper Main Coon was sitting by the door awaiting my arrival.

My evenings were always the same. Check in with my mom for an hour on the phone. Make or order dinner, which tonight was ordering pizza for the leftovers tomorrow. Turning on my favorite TV show, Supernatural, on Netflix and working on one of my millions of fanfics.

“Yes, stay in complete denial by hiding in your fantasy worlds and falling in love with fictional characters. Loser.”

I pushed my inner thoughts to the very back of my mind and focused on my current series I was writing. Pulling up Tumblr, I looked in my notifications seeing someone binge reading my masterlist. My heart always swelled with joy whenever someone took the time to read my writings. This person was also leaving feedback as well.

“ChevyMan67: I love this version of Dean! You truly have captured his personality and sarcasm.”

“ChevyMan67: I can’t get enough of this series! Please tell me there is more to come. I need to know if Dean finally falls in love and gets his apple pie life.”

I read through every comment and looked at every GIF the reader posted. I hit follow on his blog then took a few screenshots from my activity page, pulling up a blank post adding the pictures.

“Thank you to @ChevyMan67 for binging my stories! Your feedback means everything to me!”

As soon as I posted it there was a notification of a reblog from him. He posted a GIF of Dean screaming with #Fangirling flashing underneath. My cheeks ached from the unusual tension of a genuine smile spreading across my face.

Online I could be anyone I wanted. I would virtual hug and blow kisses at my friends. I was able to be more like the woman I was. Social, happy, carefree, open to others. I could be the woman I desperately wanted to be but my mind would not allow.

“Stay guarded. Remember what happened when you trusted him? Trusted his family? Never again. You promised never again.”

My indeed guard held the line at the gate of my mind. She stood in full armor and shield ready to throw off anyone that even attempted to break through to the part of me that desired to be a whole person again. I shook my head with a firm nod and reaffirmed my promise to myself to never let anyone that close to me again.

As I was closing down her computer for the evening, a ding caught my attention as a message came from Tumblr. Opening the window, I saw a DM from my newest follower.

“Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for following me. Apparently I’m a rarity on here for being male and a fan of Supernatural. I truly love all your writings and can’t wait to read more. Hopefully, we can get to know each other better and become friends. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Message me any time. Goodnight.”

I re-read the message several times before closing my computer. Sure I had people message me for small talk and a few close friends I had on there. This felt different. Something deep within me sparked and I did not know how to react. There was only one person I knew I could go to and her reaction was more frightening than the thought of responding to ChevyMan67. That night was the first of many restless nights for me.

A week later, I finally sat down and responded to him.

“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I’m… well, I’m not used to talking to guys here. I think it’s great that you’re on here and reading, BTW. I’m working on a few pieces right now, maybe you could beta for me if you have time. I hope we can be friends as well. Have a good weekend!”

I was nearly hyperventilating when I hit enter sending the message. I tried to work on my newest one shot story and ignore my anxious heart awaiting for the ding. It was not until I was in bed watching my favorite episode of Supernatural that my phone chimed.

“Tumblr: Message from ChevyMan67”

My finger hovered for a moment before opening the app. The message opened and I let out a air I had been holding in my chest.

“No worries. Everyone is busy and has their “real life” to attend too. I work odd hours and days all the time so I get it. I would LOVE to beta for you!!!! Reading your work before it’s posted online? HELL YEAH! I feel honored you asked and I’m fanboying hard right now. Crap… that sounded… I mean. Sorry lol. You can send your fics to [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you again.”

Over the next six months, Ross and I talked throughout our days getting to know one another. Three month into Tumblr messenger and dumb updates, he gave me his cell number to text one another. At times, I would have to catch myself from laughing while my students took a test. Everyone around me started to notice the small changes in me. Smiling more, talking more and one student commented on me wearing bright colors.

“You look good in yellow Miss (Y/L/N).”

However it was Sami who demanded to know all about the changes going on with me. We sat at our favorite restaurant, the first round of drinks being set in front of us. After the waiter took our order, Sami began her interrogation.

“Tell. Me. Everything. You’ve been keeping me at bay and I’ve respected your space, but you have seemingly blossomed in the last few months. Spill.”

I bit my lower lip as my phone sounded with an all to familiar chime. I went to grab my phone when Sami placed her hand over it, “Me first. Tumblr second.”

“It’s not Tumblr. Let me reply to him and then I will tell you everything.” I dared to look up to see my best friend’s face frozen in shock.

Her eyes wide and mouth gaping, “Him?!”

I nodded reading Ross’s message, “Hey I know you’re out with Sami and going to tell her about little ole me. I just wanted to make sure you were still thinking about what I asked last night. Can’t wait to hear from you soon. Not now though, have fun with Sami.”

I smiled, locking my phone and putting it in my purse looking back to my ridiculously happy friend, “His name is Ross.”

There was a loud, attention grabbing squeal from her as I shushed her, “Leave out no details…” she rested her perfect chin on her folded hands.

I told her all about Ross and how we began talking. I told her everything I knew about him and what he knew about me. Finally, as our food came out and drinks were refilled, I told her about what he had dropped on me the previous night.

“He asked me to meet him at the Supernatural Convention in Dallas next month. He already has the passes paid for and a few photo ops that we could share.” My heart raced at the thought of meeting Ross and meeting my favorite celebrities all at the same time.

Sami’s smile faded slightly, “Does he know about your struggles with being touched?”

I nodded, “It was one of the first personal things I told him. He’s still talking to me so I took that as a frightening good sign.”

“What are you feeling?” her point blank question shook me for a moment.

My fingers drummed against the table, “I’m nervous, scared, anxious…” I paused for a moment before looking up at her with a smile.

“I’m also excited, hopeful and curious.”

Sami held out her hands to me, palms up and I hesitantly placed my hands in hers. It was something we had been working on for the last couple of months. This was the first time I allowed her to squeeze my hands.

“You really like him.” She whispered smiling like a fool.

I felt my own smile mirroring hers, “Yes I do and that scares me shitless.”

The rest of the evening felt like the old days before my life fell apart. When I got home, I decided to test my luck. Pulling up Ross’s number, my thumb hovered over it until I smashed it hearing it ringing.

“Well hello, this is a surprise.” His velvety smooth voice sent shivers down my body, “Take a deep breath and know it’s okay if you hang up to just text me.”

“N-No, I’ll be okay.” I stammered as he let out a low chuckle.

I could hear him moving away from other voices around him, “I interrupted something…” Guilt and shame weighing my shoulders down.

“Not at all. They can wait, you calling me is an important moment. Not everyday, I get to speak to my favorite writer on the phone.” His compliments calmed my queasy stomach, “Could I be so hopeful that this phone call is working up to a good answer?”

I took a deep breath in and let out slowly, “Yes.” The word seems foregin to her as it left my lips.

“Yes I can be hopeful or yes to my question?” His jovial banter eased the tension in my shoulders.

“Yes.” I tried to sound a little more confident, my heart beating against my chest.

There was a moment of silence before loud cheering and yelling came through her speaker. His excitement was silenced by my own unfamiliar laughter. Suddenly I was hyper aware that he was no longer making any noises. Panic and fear swelling inside me.

A soft sigh came from him, “You have a beautiful laugh. I can’t wait to hear it again.”

My cheeks burned, “Thank you.”

Ross told me he would send all the details for our trip and that I was not to worry about money of any kind. Mentally, I began planning out how to save as much money as I could in the next four weeks. Thankfully, my savings was built up enough to take a small hit and not dip into her emergency fund. Over the next several weeks, I began to prepare for my first convention, first time meeting an online friend, first time traveling by myself, first time facing the unknown in five years.

The morning of my travel day, I went over to Sami’s house with Charlie. I was surprised to see her sister sitting there. She waved to me before taking Charlie’s crate.

“What’s going on?” I looked around seeing Sami’s suitcase packed by the door.

She smiled, “Your friend Ross, reached out to me.”

The color from my face drained for a moment, “H-He did… How?”

“He found me on your Instagram page. DM me asking me to join you on your trip. Stating and I quote, ‘I know you being there with (Y/N) will make her more comfortable. I want this weekend to go as comfortably as possible for her. I know it’s a big step and I want her to be taken care of.’”

She smiled softly as my vision blurred from tears slipping down my face, “Oh… wow.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing (Y/N/N). If you were ever going to work on overcoming your touch aversion this would be the man to do it for.” Sami turned around to help her sister, leaving me to my own thoughts.

“Absolutely not! There is no way he is getting through my defenses. I have held strong for five years. Your heart and mind are safe within my holds.”

“Do you really think he’s going to want to touch you? Look at yourself. Lumpy. Chunky. Squishy. Dull (Y/C/H) hair. Boring (Y/C/E) eyes. Not even a decent pair of boobs or ass. You’re nothing special. Always remember that you’re nothing special.”

“(Y/N)? (Y/N) stop it.” Sami’s voice rang clear bringing me back to the present.

I nodded slowly, “Sorry. I zoned out.”

“Freaked out. We will work through it. Sara is gonna drive us to the airport and we have an hour to chat. Okay?”

It was in the moment that I noticed my best friend had absentmindedly placed her hand on my shoulder and I did not flinch. My eyes looked to her hand and back to her, “You’re touching my shoulder.”

“Crap, I’m so sor…” she started to say but my bright smile stopped her, “What?”

I placed my hand on top of hers, “I didn’t flinch or move or even notice you did it.”

Now her smile was matching mine and we had a moment of pure excitement jumping around each other. True to her word, we spent the hour on the plane doing some meditative exercises. I thanked every high power who would listen for my best friend getting her psychology degree.

There was a man waiting with our names on a piece of paper. He took our bags and drove us to a hotel near where the convention was being held. Sami checked us in since there were so many people inside and my anxiety started to flare up.

Breathe in counting to six. Breathe out counting to six.

I repeated my breathing exercise until Sami returned her brow furrowed, “What is it?”

“I don’t know who Ross knows, but he must be connected in some way. We have a suite on the fourteenth floor.”

My jaw dropped slightly before I stood up bracing myself for the next hurdle of getting through the elevator ride. Luckily, there were only two other girls in the car and I could safely keep my distance from them.

“I heard that Jensen is staying at this hotel.” One mentioned as the other rolled her eyes.

“Yeah right. This is Dallas, I’m sure he’s probably staying with his family or something.”

The girls exit on the eighth floor and before the doors could close Sami and I were chuckling to ourselves. The chances of Jensen Ackles staying at this hotel would be astronomical. The car dinged for the top floor and opened to a small hallway. When we opened the door to our suite neither of us spoke.

Sami walked throughout the entire room before I could even move from the entryway, “This room is amazing! Check out the view we have (Y/N).”

“Hold on. Having a moment.” I breathed as Sami came to my side and I held my hand out, “I’m fine. Just need a moment to make sure this is real and not a dream.”

I watched as she walked over to the coffee table where there was a gift basket and she held up a small notecard, “Oh it’s real.”

“(Y/N) and Sami, I hope you love your room. Enjoy your night and order anything you want. The front desk knows it’s all on my tab. I’m hoping you both will join me for dinner tomorrow night after registration. Sadly, my job won’t let me leave before then. I look forward to meeting you both. -R PS: I highly recommend the spa and they have a large private jacuzzi just for you, (Y/N).”

Sami sighed, “I really hope he has a single brother, cousin, friend that is like him for me.”

I rolled my eyes walking over to the large windows looking out. Flashes of the last time I was in Dallas popping into my mind. I shivered as the one voice I hated yelled loudly in my ears. My hands covered them and I felt Sami tap my shoulder twice. For the first time, in several years, I reached out to her and gripped her arms.

“(Y/N) remember why we’re here. Remember talking with Ross on the phone. The tone of Ross’s voice. His laughter.” Her calm tone eased me out of the wretched memory.

She guided me over to the couch and went to get me a glass of water. I sipped it slowly before squeezing her hand, “Thank you.”

“You know, I can get used to you reaching out to me. Feels like the (Y/N) I knew coming back.” Sami squeezed my hand back before I let slip from her grasp.

She was right, the woman I once was before my ex was fighting her way to get out again. Still, my guard was up standing fortified at the gate.

That evening was a girls’ night of epic proportions. They went to the spa where (Y/N) sat in her private jacuzzi while Sami received the best massage of her life. Afterwards, we ordered our dinner from room service making moderate choices since neither of us were paying. When our food came there was a special dessert also with another note.

“A little birdy told me that your favorite dessert was French Silk pie. I wanted you to have a slice and some New York Style cheesecake for Sami. Have a wonderful night.”

Sami whistled, “Man, he has it bad for you.”

“Shut up.” I muttered lifting the dome to see a delicious slice of pie.

As they ate and talked, Sami took my phone taking pictures of them enjoying a very Sam and Dean style dinner. Sami having a Chef’s salad with honey mustard dressing. I took a picture of my dinner sending it to Ross with a text saying thank you.

“Dean would be proud! That bacon cheeseburger looks good. Enjoy!”

I smiled the entire time I ate my burger. Finishing out meals, Sami hooked up her laptop putting on Supernatural. I decided to try and work on some stories when a terrifying thought crossed my mind. I looked up to the screen as Dean began to talk. I closed my eyes listening carefully to his voice. The low tone and smoothness of it. It was the way he said the word writer that had my eyes snapping open and a gasp escaping my lips.

“What? What is it?” Sami sat up concerning filling her eyes.

Like pieces to a puzzle everything snapped into place. All the small details that would go unnoticed by someone who would never expect it. Sami tapped my shoulder and I turned to her with wide eyes.

“Ross… that’s Jensen’s middle name.” I mumbled reaching for my phone.

Sami stood up pausing the episode, “Okay… what are you getting at.”

“Listen.” I played for her the voicemail he had left a few days earlier, “Now play the episode.”

Sami’s eyes connected to her, “No way.”

“Ross is Jensen Ackles.”

That night my dreams were filled with my ex yelling at me. Fat shaming me. Calling me a loser. Calling me useless for not being able to bear children. His looming form made me coward into a ball on the floor. I woke up several times during the night, the final time close to six in the morning. Sami was peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed.

I picked up my phone going into the living area and dialing the all too familiar number. On the third ring she was going to hang up, but then his groggy voice pierced my ears.

“(Y/N), is everything alright?” All I could hear was Dean, which meant that it was truly Jensen on the other side.

“You tell me, Jensen.” I heard him sit up as I began to pace near the window.

A long sigh came from him, “I knew you would figure it out before meeting me.”

I scoffed, “Is this some kind of celebrity joke or prank? Pretend to be someone’s friend and embarrass them when they meet you.”

My guard was shaking her head muttering, “Told you so…”

“No, (Y/N) it’s nothing like that. Misha had read some of your stories and suggested I should read them. At first, I thought it would be weird because I’ve never read fanfiction before, but your writing… it drew me in.” His words came out all in one breath.

I froze, “M-Misha read my stories? Oh god…” My body burned from embarrassment.

“Honestly, there’s not a person on our crew that hasn’t read at least one of your stories. You’re talented and the way you write for the boys is amazing. Our own writer’s are impressed with your talent.”

I groaned slumping down to the floor, “This was all a mistake.” The last thing I heard before ending the call was rustling around as if Jensen was moving from his bed.

My phone slipped from my hand as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes allowing my inner voices to consume me. Dragging me down into the darkness.

“You fool! Here I stood guarding you from this and still you allowed someone in. You deserve what is coming to you!”

“You useless piece of nothing! You’re the biggest joke this world ever created. Fat, ugly, even your body can’t do the one basic thing god made it to do. You’re worthless. Sucking up air that could be used on someone contributing to the world. No matter what anyone says you will always be the biggest failure in this world. You. Are. Nothing.”

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and I tightened myself into a ball, “Go away Sami.”

The tapping continued and I reached out grasping an unfamiliar hand. My eyes snapped open and were met with concerning, piercing olive eyes. The eyes I stared at for hours on my TV. The eyes I wrote about in hundreds of thousands of words online.

As soon as my eyes opened he withdrew his hand and my heart sank further into darkness, “I told you. He will never want to touch your disgusting body.” The snide voice of my inner self whispered.

“(Y/N), please hear me out. Please for five minutes just listen to my side.” He sat across from me leaving a foot of distance between us.

I nodded looking up as Sami gently touched his shoulder, “I will be just outside if you need me.”

He waited for the door to close to start talking. His large hands rubbing against his cotton covered thighs.

“I started reading your masterlist on Tumblr and couldn’t get enough of your stories. I didn’t know exactly how to work Tumblr so Misha showed me how. I noticed you don’t get a lot of notes and I wanted everyone to notice you. I started sharing your work with everyone after sending you that message.”

He paused for a moment as I fidget with the hem of my shirt, “Why did you message me?”

His smile was more radiant in person, “It’s just as I said. I loved your work and I wanted to be friends. However, the more I got to know you… the more I wanted to meet you in person. I knew that would be problematic.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I scoffed looking down to my hands.

He inhaled a deep breath, “You connect with Dean Winchester the same way I do. To find someone like that is a once in a lifetime chance. I want someone who I can gush over Dean with because soon I won’t be hanging out with him as much and he’s the best imaginary friend I’ve ever had.”

Seeing Jensen open himself up to me was creating a battle of mind and body within me. He was just as nervous as I was to open up to someone else. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone in my isolation. My hand trembled as I reached over placing it atop of his.

“Dean Winchester saved my life and I don’t mean that figuratively. I was on the verge of leaping into darkness when I found him getting Sammy to find their dad. I found the strength to carry on because I knew that was what Dean would do. I found that being broken wasn’t a bad thing but something that could drive you to keep working. Dean helped me to feel again when I had become numb to the world around me.”

His eyes shined as I spoke trying to hold back his own tears, “I’m glad he could be there for you when you needed him the most.”

“Then you came into my life when I least expected it.” I whispered as I squeezed his hand.

My mind was screaming at me to get as far away from him as I possibly could. To call out to Sami to make him leave and move out of the state disappearing from the world. However, my body was urging me to jump into his arms. To open myself up to him as he had done with me. I felt like a spring coil ready to snap. My mind was holding my body back waiting for my consciousness to make a decision.

And she did.

I launched myself into his arms startling him as we crashed to the floor. His arms instinctively wrapped around me as mine encircled his neck. The door flew open as Sami came rushing in as Jensen’s laughter filled the room. I hugged him tighter to me as he tightened his grip around me.

“Oh my god… (Y/N), you’re hugging him.”

I did not need to open my eyes to know tears were slipping down my best friend’s cheeks. Her voice was thick with utter joy and amazement.

“Does this hug mean that you don’t hate me?” His question caught me off guard.

Jensen’s hands kept me in place as he sat up swinging my legs across his. My arms are still around his neck not wanting to lose the connection. Now that my body was against his, it flooded with the strange feeling of desire. Sami joined them on the floor sitting cross legged in front of them.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though I’m still upset you lied to me.” I rested my head on my arm and against the side of his neck.

Feeling him sigh and seeing Sami grinning, I knew this was a big moment for all of us. We sat on the floor for another hour talking before Jensen had to go back to his room to get ready for the day. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other. He hugged me one last time before walking out of the suite. When I turned around I was immediately engulfed into another hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Sami squealed.

“Thanks, I think…” My sentence drifted and she pulled away from me.

I walked back toward the bed and flopped face first onto it. I felt her crawl up on the bed beside me knowing me well enough to give me space.

“Talk it out, (Y/N). What are you feeling?”

My cheeks burned from the first feeling to pop into my head, “I feel warm, anxious, happy...” I paused gathering the courage to say the last word, “desire.”

“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Sami eagerly asked.

I sat up, “Desire.” Saying the very word felt weird.

She began to clap and raised her hands in the air, “Praise the lord!”

“Don’t get all weird about it. I don’t know what any of this means. My body is tingling…”

Sami interrupted, “I bet it does…”

“Shut up, mostly not in that way. I don’t know how to act around other people anymore. What is too much touching? What is too little? What does a hug mean? I have too many questions and all the answers just walked out the door.”

I looked over as my phone chimed seeing a message from Ross, “I guess I need to change that now.” I murmured as I pulled up his message.

“First, thank you for trusting me with a hug. It means the world to me. I wanted to know if you wanted to have an early lunch with me? We could eat in my room or restaurant or your room with Sami. Whatever you are most comfortable with. Let me know.”

I held my phone up for Sami to read and she jumped off the bed, “You can have our room. I will go entertain myself by the pool.”

I texted him back that he could come to my room as Sami began tossing clothes out on the bed, “What are you doing?”

“Finding you the perfect outfit. Now go shower so I can play dress up with you.” She clapped her hands excitedly as I groaned loudly.

Looking in the mirror again, I pulled at the shirt clingy to every soft, round surface of my waist. I pushed my stomach watching as it bounced back into place like jello. Turning to the side, I sucked as many rolls as I could inward, holding my breath. The air rushed from my lips as a knock came from the door. Making my way towards it, I grabbed my zip-up hoodie slipping my arms in it quickly.

“Hi.” The word came out more breathlessly than I wanted.

My inner voice whispering, “Yeah fatty, let him know that walking across the room makes you lose your breath.”

“Hey there, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and grabbed lunch for us.” Jensen held up a paper bag from a local sandwich spot.

As he walked in, I took a moment to truly admire him. He looked like a male model in his tight dark jeans, black boots, dark olive Henley and sunglasses resting on top of his unruly, sandy brown hair. His smooth voice caught my attention.

“You could take a picture and it would last longer.” He chuckled sitting down on the couch and laying out their lunch.

I sat on the opposite side of him as far away as I could. Even though my body desperately wanted to be closer to him, I kept my distance not pushing my mental capacity. He glanced over a hint of disappointment in his eyes seeing me so far away.

Jensen slid a sandwich towards me, “I remember you telling me that you love ham and swiss with tomato.”

“Thank you.” I unwrapped the sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips.

We ate in silence as a strange tension built between us. My stomach churning to the point I could no longer eat. I would look over to him out of the corner of my eye to find his eyes drifting over me. I wrapped my hoodie around me instinctively trying to hide the imperfections.

“There’s no hoodie big enough to hide your ugliness.” The familiar voice whispered.

I shook my head when I heard music playing, looking back to Jensen. He smiled sheepishly as he set his phone on the table.

“I thought maybe some background noise would help,” He stood up clearing the food from the table then stood in front of me with his hand out, “Trust me?”

His eyes were shining from the afternoon rays of sun coming from the window and his lips were spread in a gentle smile. I exhaled slowly allowing all the tension to leave my body and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up from the couch taking my hands and placing them behind his neck. His large hands slid down my sides to my hips and I flinched.

“You do know that you’re beautiful, right?” He whispered swaying my body with the music.

I shook my head, “I’m really not. Ordinary at best.”

Jensen lifted my chin, piercing (Y/C/E) meeting , “You are far from ordinary, (Y/N).”

“You’re just being kind.” I looked away as he slowly turned us in a circle.

The music continued but Jensen stopped moving, “I have so many questions but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you running to the hills.”

“Questions for me? Surely, you have better things to do with your time other than sitting inside with me. Don’t you have fans to entertain?” I smirked.

He chuckled, “Lucky for you, I happen to have the day off. I normally spend the day with my family. However this year they all ditched me.”

I mockingly acted shocked, “Oh no! You poor thing.”

His eyes narrowed in on me before laughing, “My mom and dad are somewhere in Spain enjoying their anniversary gift. My sister decided a girls trip with her best friends was better than hanging with me for the day. My brother is always busy with his family. You’re stuck with me.”

“I guess there’s worse ways to spend my day. Okay, ask away but I’m not promising I’ll answer them all.”

Jensen led me back to the couch, but kept ahold of my hand as we sat back down. He laced his long fingers with mine. His thumb brushing over my knuckle. I settled back against the couch once again wrapping my hoodie around me.

“What were you thinking when I put my hands on your hips earlier?”

I bit my lower lip, “I was mortified that you were touching my squish rolls of skin. I was thinking you must be disgusted by it.”

“Wow…” He squeezed my hand, “Whoever he was he really did a number on you. If I ask his name and address would you be against me and Jared beating the crap out of him?”

A genuine burst of laughter echoed in the room, “He’s really not worth it. Plus, he is much happier with his life now and that’s all that matters. He deserves to be happy.”

I was surprised to see Jensen face scrunched up in anger, “But you don’t?” He leaned in slightly, his features softening.

“No, I don’t.” The words came out without even a second thought and seeing Jensen recoil from them as if they had slapped him in the face twisted my heart.

His tongue darted out over his lips and the electrical energy between us sparked wildly, “You’re wrong. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Any man who told you otherwise is no man at all.”

He was leaning in closer, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart pounding in my ears and my body urging me to meet him in the middle. His forehead pressed against mine and his nose caressed mine.

“I’m going to kiss you.” he whispered.

“I don’t think I remember how to kiss back.” The pathetic confession was followed by a wayward tear slipping down my cheek.

His soft, full lips pressed gently against mine. My mind searched for the file within the long abandoned cabinets for how to kiss someone. He pulled away for a split second only to return his lips to mine. I found my lips pushing against his out of basic instinct. Our lips melded together for a moment before I felt him smile against mine.

His hands cupping my face, “I think it will all come back to you easier than you may think.”

I took in a deep breath letting it out in a short burst, “I think you believe in me too much for only meeting me a few hours ago.”

Jensen was still holding my face as he leaned back, “Other than Jared and Mish, I have never felt closer to anyone, but you.”

“You have your work cut out for you then,” I pointed to my head, “because it’s a nightmarish mess up in here.”

He leaned in kissing me once again, “You are worth every second of being with you because you’re stunning, smart, talented, caring and most of all you’re beautiful inside and out.”

I stared up at him speechless as my inner guard laid down her shield, “I like this one.”

“No… no one has ever said that about me. I-I don’t know what to say or how to react.” I stammered, unable to comprehend what he said.

He smiled widely, “Get used to that feeling because I’m preparing for you to feel that way a lot. Now, I don’t want to test your boundaries too much so I think we should hang out here and watch a movie.”

Jensen moved to the end of the couch resting his arm along the back of it and propping his feet on the table. For the first time in forever, there were no inner voices to keep me from doing what I desperately wanted. I moved over next to him resting my back into his side and stretching my legs out to the other end of the couch. His arm draped over the front of my chest and his fingertips brushed against my side.

This time there was no flinching and I smiled at the small victory.

The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Seeing the convention backstage, meeting all the rest of the other actors on the show and most of all Jensen’s constant touch comforted me throughout it all. Sami beaming with pride as I pushed myself to be in the crowd for the concert on Saturday. When Sunday came, I found myself riddled with sadness knowing I would have to leave this magical weekend behind.

Sami had decided to go back to the hotel while I waited for Jensen to finish his autographs. I had noticed Clif, the boys’ friend and bodyguard, staying close by me. When the last fan left the autograph room, he motioned for me to follow him. Entering the room, I found Jensen with his head down on his table while Jared and Misha were fooling around at theirs.

Walking up, I slid my hands over his shoulders and began rubbing the knots out of them. A small groan escaping his lips sent a wave of desire over my body. I moved my hands down his back eagerly wanting to hear him again.

“Hey, if you’re giving free massages away I’ll take one!” Jared called out.

Jensen’s head snapped up, “Don’t even think about it Padalecki. Her hands are too precious for your sweaty self.”

I chuckled as he stood up letting my hands drift down his back. I knew he was fit but his body was firm and lean in all the right spots. As he moved away I found my fingers stretching out to touch him again. All weekend I had found myself craving his touch. My mind was obsessively thinking about his hand in mine or my arms around his waist or his hands gripping my hips. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I heard him chuckle.

“You okay? You kind of spaced out for a moment.”

I nodded smiling, “I’m great. Just thinking was all.”

“Well come on, you and I can grab something to eat then hang out in my room.” His arm slipped around my shoulders and instantly I relaxed into his embrace.

Dinner was unexpectedly crashed by Jared and Misha tagging along. We found a twenty-four hours diner near the hotel that was nearly empty and we all spent a few hours talking, laughing. I could not help the sadness creeping over me as the minutes passed by. Minutes I was losing to have Jensen to myself. As if he read my mind he excused us to head back to the hotel.

We walked in silence, hand in hand. Stepping into the elevator, he pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His room was on the opposite end of the same hall as mine. Stepping inside, the door clicking shut as we stood across from one another. It was like a shotgun going off as Jensen closed the distance between us. His hands sliding down my body as his mouth crashed to mine.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over.

“I’m sorry… shit. (Y/N) I’m really sorry.” His pleads confused me for a moment.

Breathing heavily as he stepped back further from me I blurted out, “W-Why are you apologizing? D-Did I do something wrong?”

His dark forest eyes snapped up, “You do something… you didn’t do anything but be you, (Y/N). I just couldn’t stop myself. This weekend has been the best one in my life. Being around you, holding your hand, kissing you has rejuvenated me. I just want more of you, all of you. Simple looks you give, the way you hold yourself and the moment you open yourself up to reach out to me. I just found myself unable to hold back anymore. I know…”

This time it was me who closed the distance between us. My lips crashing into his. My hands running up his broad chest and into his soft hair. The soft moan escaping my lips as we parted.

“I want you to have me…” I whispered in between breaths, “I’m nervous with a bunch of what ifs running in my head.”

“Do you trust me?” The corner of his lip curling upward.

“Yes.”

Jensen took my hand leading me into the bedroom of his suite. He gently picked me up and sat me on the bed. He knelt in front of me, slipping my shoes from my feet then pulling my socks off. His thumbs pressing into the bottom of my feet as I began to giggle.

“Oh… now that is an amazing sound. I must hear that again.” He smirked, tickling my feet.

I fell back in a fit of giggles as Jensen’s laughter joined mine. I leaned up on my elbows looking down at Jensen resting his chin on my knee. He lifted his brows asking permission and I nodded. His hands drifted over my calves, up to my knees and over my thighs.

“You have incredible legs. I found myself staring at them as you would walk in front of me with Sami. Wondering how they would feel beneath my hands.” He gently squeezed them near my hips.

His knee pressed into the mattress between my legs as his firm body hovered over mine. My fingers brushed against the hem of his shirt pushing it up and hesitantly touching his stomach. Jensen sucked in a quick breath as his hands paused on his hips. I focused on the feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my fingertips. His flat stomach is surprisingly soft.

I grasped the end of his shirt pulling it towards his head as he pulled back allowing it over his head. Taking it from my hands, he tossed it on the floor. I took in every inch of his skin from his muscles flexing to the freckles decorating it.

“You beautiful, you know that?” I did not think he heard me until I saw the smug smirk on his face.

He leaned down kissing me, “Stealing my lines, sweetheart.”

His hands went back to my hips as his lips left a trail of kisses down my neck, “You think that your softness is revolting, but I find it inviting.”

I froze as his hand pushed up into my shirt touching my stomach. I squirmed as he pushed my shirt up just under my bra. My hands threading through his hair as his lips pressed small kisses against my stomach.

“Jensen…” The tension in my tone caught his attention.

His eyes filled with worry, “Too much?”

I took a few deep breaths and shook my head, “I’m fine, promise.”

“See there you go, being brave and pushing yourself. You have no idea how sexy that is.” He murmured against my skin.

As Jensen’s mouth neared the waistband of my jeans, I tugged his hair motioning for him to come back up to her. He smiled randomly kissing spots along my body. His lips finally met mine as I slid my arms around him. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip as they parted for him. His gentleness and care to make me comfortable broke down the last existing wall of defense.

Their kiss deepened. My body burned with a need to feel Jensen’s skin against mine and to be close to him in every way physically possible. Foreign pressure began to simmer deep within me and I lifted my hips pressing them against his thigh.

He pulled away his eyes blown with passion searching mine for an answer to a silent question.

“Please… take away everything he did. I want to feel whole again.” I pleaded just above a whisper.

His lips were on mine again as he gently lifted me up further onto his bed. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt over my head holding it in front of me for a brief moment. His eyes watching my every move as I tossed it over the side. He reached behind me with one hand unclasping my bra in one swift movement.

I kissed his collarbone as he leaned in to do so, “Show off.”

He chuckled before leaning back and allowing me at my pace to unveiling my bare chest to him. I slid the straps down my arms holding it in place before playfully tossing it at him chuckling. Joking had always been my way of dealing with uncomfortable moments. When I looked up his eyes were drifting down my bare upper body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He smirked as I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously, (Y/N)... you’re absolutely stunning.”

He ran his hand down my chest, between my breasts and down to my jeans. He undid the button and slowly drew down the zipper. Hooking his fingers with a belt loops dragging my jeans down my legs. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. Jensen tossed them off to the side then began to place gentle, open mouth kisses up my leg.

My breaths were coming out in small little puffs the further up my leg he got. His mouth hovered over her cotton cover mound inching closer to it. My teeth dug into my lip desperately wanting him to press them against me. Instead he kept his path up my body stopping at my breasts. He cupped the side of one running his thumb over my nipple.

A long sigh escaping my lips from just the slightest touch from him, “O-Oh… Jensen…” His mouth had gently suckled my other nipple, the pressure turning to an ache between my legs.

“You have no idea hearing my name from your lips does to me.” He softly said before circling my nipple with his tongue.

Feeling bold, I slid my hand down between us running it along the hard bulge being restrained by denim. Jensen sucked in a sharp breath dropping his head between my breasts, “Shit…”

“I believe I have some kind of an idea.” I smiled as he grinded himself against my palm.

He stood up at the edge of the bed, his intense stare making me tremble with anticipation. Leaning forward, his fingers hooked the sides of her cotton panties and pulled them down until they were on the floor.

“Exquisite, flawless, perfect.”

“As are you.” I sat up until I was sitting on the edge in front of him.

My hands trembled as I unbuttoned his jeans and carefully unzipped them. Jensen let out a soft hiss as I brushed against his length. His hands cupped my face pulling my lips to his urgently kissing me. I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could before he pushed me back onto the mattress. His hand drifting down my body until his fingers pressed against my folds.

“Jensen, please…” I begged needing to feel any kind of relief from the pressure pulsating from between my legs, “Ohhh… god.”

Jensen began to rub lazy circles against my clit. My hips grinding against his hand as his lips pressed just below my ear, “Are you okay?”

His question sober me from the drunken stupor of desire and I placed my hand over his pushing down further, “More than okay.”

Jensen pushed one long finger deep inside me with a hiss, “Fuck pretty girl, your so tight.” He slowly pushed a second finger inside.

My head pressed against the mattress, my back arching as he pumped his thick fingers in me, “More, oh please Jensen, I need more.”

His pace picked up and I looked up to his face. His eyes wide and dark watching me come undone as his thumb rubbed harshly against my throbbing clit, “Jensen!” I cried out overwhelming pleasure wrecked through my body.

Breathing heavily, my body shaking slightly as he pulled his fingers from me, “Now that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

A slow grin spread across my face as I pulled his mouth to mine. He positioned himself between my legs pulling away slightly, his lips grazing against mine.

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want.” Jensen’s tone was tense as I felt his length resting against my folds.

I kissed him, “I need you. All of you.”

He braced himself up with one arm as his hand slipped between us. Jensen ran the swollen head along my slickness before nudging it against my entrance. The room filled with groans and heavy breaths as Jensen slowly sheathed himself within me. There was a singe of pain as I stretched taking him his thick length but quickly was replaced with immense pleasure as he thrusted gently into me.

“So. Tight.” He panted against my cheek.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him digging my heels into him. Each stroke pushing me further to the edge. Feeling every muscle straining along his back and arms. His head buried in the crook of my neck grunting almost painfully. I knew then he was holding back.

I pressed my lips to his ear, “Jensen, I won’t break. You’re making me feel incredible, but I want you to let go. Show me how I make you feel.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest as he nipped at my neck and his hips snapped against me. The echoes of our skin meeting, loving praises and the headboard against the wall filled the room. I started to meet each thrust of his, the coil within me ready to snap. His hands were gripping my shoulders holding me against his burning body. I clung to him scraping my nails against his back making him growl again.

“Shit Jensen, I’m so close. Just a little more, oh god please!” I beg as he thrusted into me feverishly small grunts coming from him, “Yes, yes, oh… Jensen!”

My whole body was shaking as an intense wave of euphoria covered me. Pulsating around him, he abandoned all control chasing his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gritted his teeth as his body went rigid before slamming into me his length twitching deep within me, “Holy shit…”

Jensen rode out his release, his arms shaking to the point he could not hold himself up anymore. I groaned as he pulled out leaving me empty. He rolled onto his back breathing heavily as I curled into his side burying my head into his chest.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His concern only made me cling to him more.

I shook my head, “No, I’m just overwhelmed. Too many feelings at once.”

“Talk it out. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Jensen wrapped his arms around me holding me close.

I took a deep breath, “I’m feeling exhilaration, bliss, pleasure. Right now, I’m feeling empty and it’s almost like I can’t breath. I feel scared by how much I need to feel your touch.”

His fingers were drawing small circles against my bare back, “If that’s your way of asking for round two, you’re going to have to wait for a little bit. I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.”

There was a brief moment of silence before I started to laugh. My body shaking from the laughter pouring from my lips. I kissed his chest, “Thank you.”

“You never need to thank me. It’s my honor to make you laugh. Bring your pleasure. Praise you for your beautifulness. More importantly, always holding you close to me.”

I entwined my legs with his as he pulled the sheet over our naked bodies. Just when I thought he was about to fall asleep, I slipped my hand over his soft member then pressed my lips just under his chin.

“Round two?”

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#jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x plus size!reader #jensen ackles #angst #fluff #smut

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littlespaceporgs · 4 years

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The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along!

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

#the clone wars #tcw #the clone wars reacts #reacts series #star wars ahsoka #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obi wan kenobi #kit fisto #riyo chuchi #jar jar binks #basically a leah simp fest #fucking sigh #it took one (1) ep for me to simp

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sailor-cresselia · 5 years

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Zi-O 14: Raw viewing

Hm. Hmmm. HMMM.

omoshiroi.

Here’s the liveblog for Zi-O 14, pre-subs.

These are apparently taking me several hours to watch now, since I’m taking notes live, and with checking the wiki to get names right and backing up frequently to check images and figure out what I can actually hear. Whoops.

(WOW that phrase comes in handy.)

Woz, where’d you go – oh, so the clock’s not just some sort of Aesthetic Background. It’s actually there.

Okay, I can’t tell if he’s pissed because Sougo’s kinda dead, or because he’s not the reason Sougo’s kinda dead, but Geiz is pissed.

Aw. I think he might actually care.

“Can’t you just tell them that I’m right here?”

“They wouldn’t believe me.”

Urgh, I can’t actually get what they’re saying. I THINK it’s along the lines of:

Takeru: “So, I’m the only one who can see you, and it ‘might’ be because of this.” He pulls out the Ghost watch.

Sougo: “Ohhhh. So Geiz is headed to see the past you.”

Takeru: “Wait, what? The past?!” (oh god no not time travel again!)

(Re: the opening)

HEY WAIT.

Apparently, episode 11 was the last time that the final shot of the Opening had that uncomfortable ‘burning page reversing itself while grainy footage of Zi-o on his bike’ sequence. Episode 12 turned it to being a straight shot of Zi-o Riding his bike straight at the camera between two jets of flame. I only noticed watching 14, just now, but huh. I thought the only changes that had happened so far were the shots of the Time Jackers updating.

I’ll have to check on that later.

Ohh… Another Ghost immediately went after the crane operator… that’s really heartbreaking.

(Geiz, bud, what’s with the terrible green-screen? Your transformation’s usually better done than that.)

Hora: Come on, we need to kick Geiz’s butt in the past.

Tsukasa: Pft. Plebe. I can travel on my own, thanks. (proceeds to open a dimensional portal of his own)

Thank you for not summoning the hoodies this time, Geiz.

Enter Ryuki!Decade… who promptly changes to Ghost!Decade… oh, this could be good. (I paused mid transformation to write, mind you.)

The rules of time travel say that only one version of a rider’s powers can exist at a time. Somehow, the Another Riders count as this, but the Ride Watches don’t, which bugs me. But now… We have Another Ghost present, Geiz is using the Ghost Watch, and Decade is about to use the Ghost Card.

How will this play out… (spoiler alert to 2:00 am samantha from 3:30 am samantha: it made absolutely no difference. drat.)

SURE, you’ll let TSUKASA be spooky, but what about Takeru, huh? HUH?!?

Okay, so Geiz just summoned Musashi and Edison. Another Ghost has Robin Hood and Newton. Tsukasa got Billy the Kid and… um. I think that’s Beethoven? Yup. Beethoven.

OUCH. Geiz’s losing streak continues, with a distressing looking slash from the Gan Gun Saber, followed by a pair of Rider Kicks from Ghost!Decade and Another Ghost.

That red-and-black aesthetic of Another Ghost’s Emblem behind his kick though… Mm. Yes. This is still such a good Another Rider look. … and actually, this is the first time since Another Build and Another Ex-aid that we’ve seen this much of an Another Rider using their bases powers, isn’t it? Build was making bottles and using them, and Ex-aid was summoning bugster mooks. Okay, that’s admittedly actually a Bugster thing, but he was also generating game areas, so it still counts.

Hm. No sequence breaking for us, it would seem. Decade just wiped the Ghost Watch, turning it blank… and tossed Geiz the Decade Watch before taking off.

Interesting.

Or we could have some compeletely different sequence breaking, seeing as how Takeru had to pilot the time mazine for Sougo. Yanno, due to incorporeality. THEY landed just before Mika’s brother dies, as opposed to Geiz landing just after.

I hate to say this, but Nani The F*ck? So clearly, inherently magical Takeru can also force shove objects, because he just deflected the beams before they could hit either Mika or her brother. So now he can’t become Another Ghost, which sends Sougo back to his body… in 2018. While 21-year-old!Takeru is now in 2015. Where spooky!18-year-old!Takeru is supposed to also be.

Oh deary. So Heure pulls out the blank watch he was going to use to make Another Ghost, and summons a bunch of Ganma mooks with it. Fine, good, he’s ticked, makes sense. They attack 21!Takeru. Fine, fine.

Makoto shows up, asking why Takeru isn’t transforming.

He’s asking 21!Takeru – who, being from an altered timeline, does not remember being Ghost (allegedly).

“Oh, right, I’m a Kamen Rider. Makoto, let’s go!”

Mind you, Makoto is played by the same actor as always, and clearly neither of these men have aged a much more than a day since 2015, since they still look pretty much identical. This is for the best, because otherwise we’d have to wonder why Makoto doesn’t catch that suddenly Takeru (who should not be aging in 2015) looks bit older than he ought to.

((Takeru: Oh, man, I’m out of practice, last time I did this was December, one year ago for me, two years from now… I might be stuck here… ~oh well~ ~not like I haven’t gone off script like thirty different ways before~))

I don’t know what just happened in the hospital (2018) but I do not like it. That was very uncomfortable to watch. I can get that the whole Sougo-going-back-to-his-body thing just was undone, since Another Ghost exists again, but. What was Woz explaining? And he didn’t move when he said ‘waga maou.’ That was… that wasn’t a thought sound effect for that, the ‘stylization’ for thoughts and narrative are about the same, and they aren’t as faint as that. That felt like… idk, a telepathy thing?

~It’s not Ghost without sister issues~

Takeru: (oh no oh no I think we pulled it off? Maybe? Oh no Makoto’s looking at you say something)

Takeru: Uh, okay, uh, hey, Makoto, give the other Takeru my regards.

Makoto: ???

(exit: stage future)

Geiz is worried. That is a worried Geiz. And a stressed Sougo. And an uncle who is definitely faking his usual, already awkward laughter.

Sougo’s uncle has too many dishes ready to not have known there were extra people coming.

(Hee, Narita’s got Akari’s Shiranui cannon! And they mentioned her by name! Eee!)

TEAM WORK. THIS IS THE BEST THEMATIC TEAMWORK YESSSSS.

Sougo using the Ex-Aid watch with his mech is cool enough – it gets the same hammers that he does.

And then Geiz comes in with Genm. AND THE PURPLE WARP PIPES YESSSSS!

Is that. That’s the Cross-z watch.

MECHA BUILD AND CROSS-Z UGH YES.

Bottle boyfriend mecha RIDER KICK!

Hm. More mook summoning, by Another Ghost this time, ala Ex-Aid and OOO.

Pft-ahahaha.

I love Tsukasa’s reaction to Woz’s speech.

Tsukasa: What. What are you doing.

And Woz just growls.

NEAT. I knew that the Decade Armor let Zi-o get the Mid-forms of the Legend Riders, but I didn’t think of how that screen variant of the helmet could come into play with it. It shows the Zi-o-with-Decade color scheme before he changes, and when he puts in the Build watch… it’s shuffling, kind of like a character select screen – or cards being dealt. You can see Ex-Aid most clearly going by, but I can tell there were others.

Welcome back, RabbitTank Sparkling!

And Tsukasa just tells Woz to shut up and grabs his book. Was he always like this? Because I’m liking the snark.

I don’t know what this sword is called but I really really like it. Not only are the Ex-aid sound effects back in English, but it let him summon Max Flare, Funky Spike, and Midnight Shadow’s tires! (fangirl squeal)

Welcome back, Grateful!

“Why did I give him my watch? Eh. Thought it’d be interesting.”

(I think that’s about what he was saying? Ish? Approximately?)

Hang on, that screen? The mask for Decade is a Zi-o variant, but RabbitTank Sparkling and Grateful are their usual appearances.

And now Geiz has someone he wants to punch even more than he does Sougo or Woz.

So, overall...

Interesting indeed, Tsukasa. Interesting indeed.

#kamen rider zi o #kamen rider ghost #kamen rider decade #sailorcressy says #wait when did i learn to liveblog?

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cloud17dreams · 7 years

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A Touch of Our Fingers (Woozi/Jihoon)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1831 words

Summary: The boys give Jihoon a hard time for not showing affection to you, so when you’re alone with him you suggest the Vulcan way of kissing to start him off.

Requested by: A shy cloud ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ hope you’ll like it!

It had been clear from the start that Jihoon didn’t fancy physical skinship. From a lack of morning kisses, to rarely ever initiating hugs, it had been evident - but being a person who generally wasn’t a huge sucker for romance, you were fine with it as well. There just, wasn’t a need for touches between the both of you, however baffling it may sound; as long as you were right beside him, and him you, you were both satisfied with the company. No frequent hand-holding, no dramatic cupping of cheeks while staring into each other’s eyes, nor will there be a time when the both of you would be sitting on each other’s laps. As compared to all the other outwardly romantic and cheesy couples, the relationship between you two had always seemed more platonic than romantic to people around you - filled with jokes, harmless pranks, and playful giggles throughout every date, however, the both of you still knew deep in your hearts that you were both meant for each other.

It had started off slow initially with the both of you also tricked by the demeanor that you both could only be friends and nothing more. But the days went by, and you both found yourselves yearning for each other’s company whenever apart, and the epiphany had struck you like a benign lightning bolt one day, between the laughs and giggles: you couldn’t imagine yourself living without Jihoon. Everything from there then went smoothly. You can’t seem to remember who confessed first, but either way, the both of you got together soon enough, your budding romance sprouting slowly but surely on the basis of your close friendship. Physical touches still had never been in the equation, but nevertheless this was a relationship that you both indulged in.

Alongside dating him, of course, was the chaos of meeting the rest of the guys. The first time had been intimidating, and that was for sure. Imagine a person swooning over their newfound family member, curiously asking a tons of questions then being amazed by anything they say, and multiply that by twelve. Scary indeed. Over time, however, you grew used to their antics, and had even taken it to yourself to roast them back snarkily on occasion, and Jihoon infinitely took pride in teaching you so. It was just another time you met up with all of them for dinner at Mingyu’s, that Soonyoung had said something about the severe lack of a show of affection in your relationship with Jihoon.

Lounging on the couch after a satisfying round of Mingyu’s homecooked dishes, he had commented, “Hey, Jihoon, why don’t I ever see you doing anything with y/n?” He tutted and shook his head, “Look at you, you’ve been watching this same episode of Doctors for the fifth time already while y/n has been on her laptop there for hours doing some work alone! Come on, aren’t you both a couple? Go and give her a kiss and cuddle with her while she works or something!“

Jihoon froze at that comment, his eyes glued to the TV screen to avoid eye contact with anyone. Then, even Chan piped up from the kitchen. “Yeah, why haven’t I ever caught you guys doing anything couply like exchanging small kisses whenever you can? I’m the person with the worst luck here, always bumping into couples. Look at Vernon over there cuddling on the couch with his girlfriend whule taking a nap. The both of you aren’t even in each other’s 10 metres radius!”

The other guys then raised their eyebrows, nodding in agreement after having heard Chan and Soonyoung.

“Yeah, Jihoon, the both of you don’t ever seem like a couple!” chuckled Wonwoo.

“If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought y/n was only your sister,” It was as if they were scared for not being able to stir trouble up - the comments never stopped!

“Yeah, Jihoon, are you both sure you’re dating?” Another one.

“Jihoon…do you even love y/n?” bombarded the twelve other guys in the apartment. You bit your lower lip at Jihoon’s reaction, noting that his expression was blank. That wasn’t a good thing; Jihoon had always only employed that barrier to shut people out, and you had known that from years of being with him. The chair grunted as you immediately stood up and exclaimed with forced cheeriness and enthusiasm. “Jihoon, let’s go home! I’m finally done with this damn thing and I want to go home and rest. I’m tired!” you whined, pretending to not have heard the boys questioning Jihoon, and dragged him out of the door in a rush.

“Bye, Mingyu, bye guys, thanks for the amazing dinner!”

Jihoon had stayed silent throughout the journey back to your shared apartment. It hurt him, of course, how his feelings could be this easily doubted just because he didn’t outwardly showcase it in front of everybody. But he kept silent, as always, not wanting to upset himself further.

As soon as the both of you reached your shared apartment, he took his shoes and socks off, silently placing them on the rack, then tailed right behind you as you unlocked the door. You sat on the couch, and patted the seat beside you, beckoning him to come over.

“Don’t listen to them, okay?” You comforted as he plopped himself on the couch beside you, while quietly leaning your weight against him, your back to his toned arms. This little contact was what he probably needed right now. His laboured breath lightly brushed your skin, the night dark and quiet, and you basked in the serenity. Quiet, alone times with Jihoon always made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“We’ll take this at our own pace,”

“But they’re right,” he said, searching your eyes for any sign of bitterness, “I’m sure you love publicly sweet gestures - most people do! I mean, if you want to, I can always start having skinship with you in public…”

“If you forcefully will yourself to have skinship with me, I think I’d die of awkwardness before you do,” you chuckled, looking at his head lowering down in guilt, and ruffled his hair. He flinched a little, not used to the amount of affection behind that gesture. That was probably the extent of skinship he could take, and yet now he was offering to give hugs and kisses in public? You chortled.

“It really is okay, Jihoon. Don’t listen to them. Plus, if you cringe at me ruffling your hair, how are you ever going to survive public displays of affection?” You laughed breathily, imagining the expression on Jihoon’s face if he ever tried to do skinship willingly. He’d scrunch his nose so hard, pout his mouth so high-

“If you like it, I’m willing to push myself to make you feel comfortable and loved and-” he pouted.

“Tsk,” you shushed him, while lightly punching him in the stomach. This wasn’t the Jihoon you knew. Upon being punched, Jihoon then dramatically folded into himself, clutching his abdomen comically, and earned a few laughs from you. Now this was the Jihoon you were familiar with.

“Honestly, this is already enough for me. To be able to be watering our plants together frantically because we thought they were gonna die, to constantly searching for what to eat every single time, and right up to the endless movie nights- this is enough,” you grinned, a smile breaking out on your face.

“However…” you said, eyes glinting with mischief.

Jihoon fought down the impulse to roll his eyes at you, already bracing himself for his impending doom. He knew you had a small evil plan brewing in the stew for him already.

“Come on, spit it out - what mischief are you up to this time?”

You looked down at his question, and suddenly took a lot of interest in twirling your fingers. Contemplating again, you unconsciously twirled your ankle too behind you while looking up with a cat smile to try and charm him. His face muscles twitched.

“Well…we could try the way Vulcans kiss in Star Trek…” you suggested hesitantly in a soft voice, a blush of excitement colouring your cheeks.

He facepalmed. You were such a dork for Star Trek, people already knew that, but to the extent that he had to act this out with you and try this whole “Vulcan way of kissing”? He had found it the most endearing when your eyes lit up at the very thought of actually reenacting something from your favourite series.

You pouted. “Come on, Jihoon, didn’t you say you wanted to try to show me more affection?”

He paused, then laughed a little at your childishness. “Okay, okay, so how do these ‘Vulcans’,” Jihoon mocked with a small smile and gestures in the air to indicate the noun, “kiss? It can’t be too faraway from exchanging saliva though, can it?” winced Jihoon, an afterthought of a certain disturbing image replaying endlessly in his mind.

Your face lit up at his questions. “Wait, really? You’re really willing to do it for me and fulfill all my fantasies?”

Jihoon laughed again soundlessly. “That sounded a little wrong, but essentially, yes. Come on. Just tell me how to do it already and we can get it done and over with,” He said, feigning annoyance.

You jumped in excitement and grinned. “Okay, so basically,” you said as you dragged his hand over to your palm. “I touch my two fingers,” you suppressed an inner fangirl squeal, “to your two fingers,” and touched his two fingers, “like this!”

Jihoon smiled at your excitement, and hummed as your fingers touched his. “And then? What’s next?” He asked, bracing himself for more intimacy.

“Uh…” you paused awkwardly, eyes darting from one place to another.

“Wait…what? Is that all?” He asked.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it,” you said, your eyes lighting up again. “Isn’t it easy?”

He hummed again. “Quite so,” he said, then continued, “So I touch my two fingers,” he murmured, bringing his other free hand up to yours, “to your two fingers lightly, like this,” he said, as he touched the two fingers of your other hand.

“Gosh, this is oddly intimate,” he commented, staring down at your touching fingers.

“You don’t like it…? Is it too much for you? Hey, we can not do this if you’re uncomfortable with it,” you suggested worriedly. Jihoon brought your hands up then, and shushed you gently.

“No, y/n, this is okay,” he reassured you, and you beamed at him. The efforts he put into your relationship was touching, though never obvious.

“Let’s do this more often,”

So what if we’ve never acted like a couple? You thought, and retorted the assumptions made by the boys just now in your head. Jihoon loved you, and you loved him; there was no doubt about that. Life was amazing, you had someone who loved you endlessly, and you would never have asked for anything more. Maybe for more two-finger touches though, you reckoned with a laugh.

A/N: Man, it’s been such a long time since we’ve posted :( but here’s some tooth-rotting fluff at this point of time when I reckon a lot of us are busy with life! :)

-Admin Sapphire ^_^

#by sapphire #seventeen fluff #seventeen #woozi #jihoon #seventeen scenarios #woozi scenarios #jihoon scenarios #jihoon fluff #woozi fluff #why does my phone always autocorrect woozi to woozi #i must have screamed too much at bby woozi #yes #sorry for being so inactive clouds :(#have a nice day!

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annashipper · 7 years

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Sojourner Anon Submission

I’m in a similar situation to the Confused Anon - I’ve known about Benedict Cumberbatch since 2007 (Atonement), and had seen him in a bunch of stuff over the years prior to Sherlock, but wasn’t impressed enough with his acting to take an interest in him until Doctor Strange and TLD (it helped that he was smoking hot in both of these - scruff really does wonders for his face). Naturally my first course of action was to go on a bender through Tumblr for a couple of months, which is how I wound up on skeptic blogs. I’d seen pictures of Benedict with his wife in the past (mostly from the 2015 awards season) and I was aware that there existed a faction of fans that didn’t like her - mostly because of something that had happened to a friend of mine about two years ago.

I don’t wanna go into too many details, since I don’t want to expose her to more hate, so I’ll keep it simple: she’s a huge Benedict fan, not a UK resident but got to stay there for a while back in 2015, during which time she saw Sophie and the baby at some kind of event she (my friend, that is) attended - something that got her torn apart by the skeptics. Now, I’ve known this woman for ages. I’ll grant you that she’s a nanny, but most of her friends are, at best, very casual fans. She’s not a BNF, nor an attention-seeker or a consummate liar, so I find it truly hard to believe she’d make up something like that. There was literally nothing for her to be gained by saying she’d seen Benedict’s wife and baby (I doubt she’s on his PR’s payroll, considering she’s not someone followed by a ton of fans or anything remotely close).

I’ve seen the uncensored pap pics where you can see the face of the child being carried. His resemblance to Benedict is almost uncanny, which is saying something because Benedict doesn’t exactly have a very common face. If they really did hire someone, they did one hell of a job finding a kid who looked like the biological son of both parents.

Furthermore, I agree with what Confused Anon had to say. It’s one thing to get your friends and family to cover for you, but this is a man who’s constantly surrounded by virtual strangers that don’t owe him shit. There’s nothing stopping them from going to the press, and yet not even CDAN will publish a blind contending Benedict’s children are a lie (when it had no problems publishing such things about other celebs).

And what happens down the line, if he did create a fake family? They’re too young right now, but in a few years Benedict’s gonna be expected to discuss funny anecdotes about his children on talk shows - like that cute gifset you recently shared, with all the Marvel actors saying how their kids were embarrassed by them. You can bet your ass someone’s gonna ask Benedict what his sons think about him being Doctor Strange, and people will wonder why he’s not bringing them on set like other Marvel actors… and later, he’ll have to start regularly showing up in public with them, or gossip rags are gonna wonder aloud how come he never brings his children to any public events, like others do with theirs.

I don’t pretend to know what spurred this relationship, although I do have a theory that he panicked as he was nearing 40 with no kids and just jumped at the first opportunity to be a father, maybe hoping he’d learn to love Sophie along the way. Sadly, I’ve met couples like that IRL… but I digress. Whatever the real reason, it can’t have involved a fake pregnancy, or he would’ve said “not mine” a long time ago and jumped ship. At this point, that kind of admission would destroy his public image and career for a very long time, possibly even for good, so unless Benedict is EXTREMELY stupid - and he doesn’t come off that way to me - there’d have to be at least one child.

And yes, I’ve seen the photo collages of her pregnancy. I too have been pregnant and given birth, but unlike the rest of your mom anons, I don’t think that makes me an authority on either pregnancies or babies. No self-respecting medical professional would opine on a stranger’s pregnancy by just looking at photos, and neither should laymen who only have anecdotal evidence at their disposal. In other words, sorry, but drawing outlines on pictures isn’t how gynecologists determine pregnancy.

I’ve seen how you react to people who disagree with you, so I just wanted to say upfront that I’m not really expecting a serious answer beyond a sarcastic gif or sending me to those archives that don’t actually answer anything. My infatuation with Benedict has already begun to subside (I mean, it’s been almost six months, there’s only so long I can fangirl). I had five minutes to burn on my daily commute and that Confused Anon was something of a catalyst, so I dropped you a line. Have a great day, Anna, I hope both you and Benedict find happiness in your lives. (Please accept my apologies if this comes out too long, incoherent or misspelled; English isn’t my first or even second language).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hi Sojourner Anon!

First off, since you’ve seen how I react to people who disagree with me, you probably already know enough to expect a serious answer from me when you’re being as cordial as you have been. I reserve sarcasm and snark for the obviously baity Anons who’re just looking for trouble.

Anyway, as your submission has indeed come out a bit long, I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible and simply address the points you’re making in the order that you made them:

Regarding your friend and her being torn apart by Skeptics, I don’t expect you to be aware of this since you’ve only just recently discovered the Skeptical community for yourself, but we have a long standing rule about sightings. They have to make sense (to at least be taken seriously) and they have to come with photographic evidence attached (to be believed and included in confirmed sightings). As I don’t know what your friend saw and where, it is impossible for me to argue whether what she saw was legitimate or not. The one sighting of Weirdo and Pilo at an event I can remember, is the one where Weirdo supposedly took (a very young) Pilo (at the time) to an Ian Mc Kellen reading, and that’s simply because there was a lot of back and forth about it being legit. Skeptics who are much more social media savvy than I am and have far higher powers of Google Fu than I do were able to find multiple pictures from the inside of the venue and ... guess what: No matter how many brunette women the Nans pointed to as being Weirdo, it turned out she wasn’t in the audience. If this is not the sighting you’re alluding to, I would be more than happy to discuss this with you privately in case you’re inclined to provide me with more details.

On the matter of your friend being torn apart by Skeptics, let me also add that I personally have never ventured outside of Tumblr for any reason whatsoever and have made it a point to try to deter my fellow Skeptics from doing so as well. For the record, all real Skeptics know how to stay in our lane. The ones who don’t are not considered real Skeptics (and yes, there are a number of trolls who have infiltrated the community since the beginning of this showmance and are posing as Skeptics just to make us look bad).

I’ve seen the unblurred pics of Rent-A-Pilo’s face too. At first I had the same reaction as you did. I thought Rent-A-Pilo looked remarkably similar to Ben and went on record saying so (on a post which I haven’t deleted, because I don’t delete posts). Here is the LINK. Notice how even immediately after seeing Rent-A-Pilo’s face for the first time and posting under shock I still didn’t believe Weirdo had gestated a real human baby? I still don’t.

Seeing how the pillows are only ever mentioned / trotted out when Daddy needs to sell a new project or Mommy throws a tantrum to get a new pap walk, I don’t believe they’re surrogate children either. I just think they’re imaginary. It goes hand in hand with the fact that Ben knows next to nothing about babies. 2 hour skyping sessions with a 5 month old, filthy props from a movie set being used as teethers by a 10 month old and babies eating sliced apples are only some of the things Ben doesn’t seem to understand are not the norm for children of Pilo’s age. I won’t even mention the lack of bathtime.

I don’t think Ben is extremely stupid. I think Ben is extremely desperate not to come off as a man who faked a relationship / engagement / wedding / pregnancy / fatherhood for an Oscar he didn’t even come close to winning because he simply chose an unstable famewhore to play the part of his red carpet girlfriend.

I have to say I’m disappointed you don’t see fit to counter any of the arguments we pose via the bump comparisons you mentioned seeing as you’ve obviously studied them. I have been posting / reblogging / arguing using these bump comparisons as evidence that Weirdo faked the first pregnancy for the better part of the past two years and not a single Anon has ever offered a convincing counter-argument regarding how ridiculous Weirdo looked with a bump that kept inflating / deflating / changing shapes / inflating again / folding over / disappearing altogether / inflating again / staying the same size during the last trimester of that weird pregnancy. I would really like to hear your thoughts on that if you feel inclined to have a mature back and forth about it. Be forewarned: arguments such as “I can’t accept anyone would be crazy enough to fake a pregnancy like that while being papped left and right” and anecdotal evidence such as “my sister’s friend’s mother’s cousin’s (twice removed) never developed breasts / never got swollen ankles / belly kept deflating / bellybutton kept popping out and in and out again, etc” won’t be taken seriously. For obvious reasons.

I hope the above answers some of your questions about my take on this showmance and I apologise for getting a bit snarky regarding the pregnancy that never was on my last paragraph, but faking that pregnancy is a very sensitive subject for me personally.

I have a couple of very close friends who have been trying to conceive and I know how taxing it’s been on them. Let’s just say a famewhore faking a pregnancy just to establish herself in the public eye rubs me the wrong way.

It’s why I keep coming back to the first pregnancy (which we got to document through numerous pap walks unlike the second one), it’s why I’ll keep calling Weirdo ... weirdo and it’s why I intend on remaining an active Skeptic for the foreseeable future.

Apologies to everyone reading this blog as I think my answer to Sojourner Anon may actually be longer than her submission was. What can I say? I’m a rambler...

#sojourner anon #submission

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wolfpawn · 5 years

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Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 29

Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.

Chapter Summary - Loki goes to the throne room and deals with the day there, after, he has two conversations that make him think more of his interactions with Ella

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Tags - @peppermint-j @damalseer @perpetual-fangirl @tinchentitri @inspired-snowflace @raphaelaisabella @alexakeyloveloki @caffiend-queen @devilbat @nonsensicalobsessions @skulliebythesea @majoringinlife @salempoe @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @rookienumber98 @emily-s1263 @ivytoh @agarwaeneth

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Loki walked into the throne room with purpose. Court was in session for the past hour and he was late but considering his morning, he was surprised he could force himself from the bed at all. When he rushed to his father’s side during an interval, Laufey looked at him curiously. “Apologies, Father, I found myself having to attend to some issues.”

Laufey had not expected to see Loki for the day at all, as Helbindi was utterly inebriated when he had come into his father’s rooms the night before the same time Loki had unintentionally entered Ella’s and informed his father that he and Loki had drunk the late-night hours away. Yet here stood his middle son, looking fresher than a newly blossomed flower in front of him. “I thought I excused you from court for the day to recuperate after the heat of Vanaheim?”

“My good mate ensured that we did not have to endure too badly on Vanaheim.” He smiled to where Ella was now standing in the court.

Laufey looked at Ella who seemed unable to cease smirking. To his side, he noted his son doing the same. Though startled by the situation he was now clearly able to translate from their faces, and wondering how it could have possibly come to pass considering the day before’s revelations, he was elated to see the connection between his son and his mate. “Well, then, you know what to do. You are always fearful you will miss something.” He remarked as he gave the order for another to come forward.

When the issues of the court were discussed and Laufey asked his son to inform all of what had occurred whilst on Vanaheim, Loki spoke, but through the entirety of the rest of the proceedings, his mind was only on one thing, the morning with his mate. He watched her across the hall, paying attention to everything that was occurring and when she noted him looking at her, she gave him warning glances but could not cease to smirk herself.

Laufey was able to see their interactions and could not resist giving his son a raised brow himself. On seeing Loki’s reaction of not being able to hold his gaze, he chuckled to himself. Upon dismissing everyone for the day, Laufey asked Loki to remain behind.

“Yes, Father?”

“Arden informed me of Prince Nigel’s attempts to anger and bother you all, congratulations on keeping a calm head and for allowing Prince Thor’s assistance. The marriage to Ella is a strong one and allows such alliances. I also heard of your discussions with the Vanir and Light Elves and of the trade talks you are arranging with them, you are every bit the capable man I knew you to be, my son."

"Thank you, Father." Loki was used to his father's comments on his actions, knowing him to think him capable but considering the sheer magnitude of the situation with foreign realms, it made him all the prouder.

"I understand the situation at present with Byleistr is fraught, his betrayal will not go unpunished by myself and indeed by you as my heir."

"Your support in this is all I could ever ask for. As Ella stated, had there been honesty, had they spoken to me and explained their situation, I would have been hurt but I would have respected it, this I cannot respect, this was lower than low. To lie...Ella put it better than I can."

"And in this, something had changed between you and your mate?" Laufey gently pushed.

Loki found himself smiling again. "Ella is never dishonest with me. She respects me enough to be so and I cannot help but want to return her respect. She understands my thoughts even when she does not experience them herself because she takes time to consider others."

Laufey studied his son closer. "Is that everything?" Loki looked at him baffled. "You forget, my son, that all present in the throne room today saw your interactions with your mate and you can be assured, it will not be received negatively. This is a wonderful advancement of things. I am elated that you see the value in her now, both for her own being and for what she brings to Jotunheim with her ties. There are many great things that this does for you, my son. Focus on being happy with a good mate and cease mourning one that evidently did not see fit to respect your sacrifice. She knew well her actions and as your mate stated, had there been respect, well, it is still unacceptable but to show that would, at the very least, show some thought for another, but they both declined to do so."

"I do not intend to spend time thinking about such things. As Ella stated this morning, thinking of such constantly only allows such thoughts to fester and when they do, they poison our thoughts and cloud our judgment. I will not let any take from my focus."

"Not even Aesir mates with whom it is clear you cannot cease thinking of in some manner that I assume has something to do with you being in discussion with her this morning?" Again, Loki did not look his father in the eye causing him to chuckle. "Come now, do you think me blind? All can see that the time in Vanaheim has stirred something different in the relationship between you."

"She understands everything, even things I have not told her and she respects it all fully, without question or expectation to be told more. I have a mate like none other."

"I am elated to hear that my son. Now, I have to deal with the ever dull Lord Gregory, damn but I hate that Jotnar, but needs must." Laufey rose to his feet. "Try not to skewer anything in the meantime." Loki looked at his father on confusion. "I saw your little anger exercise yesterday."

"Ella felt it a better idea to release some anger."

"Once again, your mate was correct. It is clear to see, now more than ever, that the mate you have is more than the one you could ever want, she is what you need more than any, my son."

Laufey left, leaving Loki to consider his thoughts. Not long after, a timid looking Helbindi entered the throne room. Loki laughed at him as he meekly held his head.

“How are you here? You drank more than me?”

“Ella healed me,” he declared smugly.

“That is not fair. How come she did that?”

“I may have accidentally stumbled into her room last night in my drunken state and not my own.” Helbindi laughed at that. “Better than you walking into Father’s rooms.”

“I’ll have you know, I did not walk in, I fell in, on top of him.” Loki chuckled at the image of his younger brother falling onto their father. “How did she take you barging in?”

“Very well, according to what she showed me from her memories this morning since I remember nothing.”

Helbindi noticed something in his brother’s features. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“What?”

“Like...wait, what happened?”

“What are you babbling about?” Loki tried to walk off but Helbindi used his superior size to block his brother. “Bind…”

“Who is she?”

“Who?”

“This new one? You only ever look that happy after you get to have some fun, who is she?”

“Bind…” Loki looked around. “You cannot speak like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I am sniffing around those I should not. I do not want trouble.”

“So, just say her name.”

“Ella.”

“Your mate?”

“Yes, my mate.”

“Why are you saying her name?”

“Because she is who you wish to know the name of.”

“No, I don’t, I want to know about...wait, you lay with her?” Loki nodded. “Not sleeping, actually…”

“Well, there was sleeping too.”

“But you said it was terrible with her.”

“It was,” Loki agreed. “Before.”

“What changed?”

“The time she almost left, she confessed that she heard us talking about her, how I spoke about her to you and she decided not to put any effort in but this time she did and it was good, great even.”

“Really? But you said she was a maiden, so how would she know how to do anything?”

“She has this ability, with her seidr, to show things she has seen in the past and she showed me things she read and things that those ladies-in-waiting she spoke about, Helbindi, the Aesir women would make you blush, they are not without sexual knowledge.” Loki’s eyes were wide as he recalled one of Ella’s ladies explain how to perform a leud act.

“Really, how?” Helbindi was intrigued more than he should be by such a statement.

“The things they know, and they all told her things. And what she read...Why did she never say anything…”

“What were the books?”

“I have no idea.”

“Ask her.”

“I am not asking her, you ask her.”

Helbindi looked at him with disbelief. “I cannot ask her, you idiot, then she will know we spoke like this again and she won’t let you near her.”

Loki winced. “Good point.”

“Wait, what if she bears you a child now?”

“Considering she is supposed to give me two sons, I would think it would be seen as a good thing.”

“But what about, you know…‘Leist and...”

“Ella stated it best, it would have been better if they were honest but they were not. I want to hate her for it, hate both of them for it but she wanted to hurt me, so I won’t let her.”

“Do you think that is why she did it?” Helbindi asked.

“I am not sure but the manner she looked at me, the cold look in her eyes, I think that perhaps she did. But I will not let her get me down, not now.”

“Not that your mate showed she actually knows what she is doing?”

“That helps, I will confess,” Loki smirked.

“Do you think the Vanir are as knowledgeable. There were one or two there that seemed interested in some fun when we were there.”

"I know a few of her ladies were Vanir. None seemed to be blushing in her memories."

"Nice." Helbindi's eyes were alight with such a prospect. “I think they look better than the Aesir.”

“Yes, you would think that, I remember you and the, what was her name?” Loki looked at his brother.

“No idea, that kissing thing they do is fun though. What do you think?”

“Have not tried it.”

“Really?”

“Is that hard for you to believe?”

“I thought you would try it since you tried everything else again. So, not a corpse then?”

Loki thought about how Ella had intertwined her legs with his, her hands exploring his body, whether intentionally or not, the manner in which she gripped his ass as he moved, urging him on. It all felt so much more natural. The one thing he did notice was her attempts to remain silent, biting her lips to remain so. He pleaded with her a few times to not force herself to remain quiet, but Ella would not relent, biting her lips together in attempts to not make noise. Clearly, that was something she was still under the impression should be done. He would have to speak with her and inform her that he liked that, being told how much his partner was enjoying herself made him feel better, knowing he was doing things well was something he wished for. It may be an awkward conversation, but he was willing to try it, as he hoped she would want to try other things with him. “Not like a corpse, definitely not.”

“I think you would rather be with her now.” Helbindi jested.

Loki could not argue his point.

#loki fic #Pride and Prejudice #chapter 29 #wolfpawn

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