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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

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Chef’s Kiss

Pairing: Song Yunhyeong x reader

World: Chef’s Kitchen (read HERE)

Genre: roommates au / chef au / suggestive

Warnings: something’s burning and maybe it’s not the food (it’s both desire and the food lol)

A/N: This is a follow up to Chef’s Kitchen. I was disappointed I couldn’t call the first one Chef’s Kiss, as a punny name, because there was no kiss in it! So, I had to write this piece to get my title happiness, haha!

Thanks to @noona-clock for requesting the first story (linked above), and to @this-song-thats-only-for-you and @jackiejacks923 for convincing me I needed to write this second part!

Word count: 1325

Food meant something different to you now.

Sure, you had always enjoyed anything delicious and disliked poorly made dishes, and that was still the same. However, you found yourself more disappointed with the meals you scraped together most nights than the ones where Yunhyeong cooked for you now. It made sense, he was a head chef at a popular restaurant in the city and you were without any qualifications. Of course, you could taste a whole lot more in his basic meals, as he referred to them as, compared to your more complicated recipes.

And that was why when he had his next day off that matched yours, you had begged him for cooking lessons.

“Will I ever get you out of a kitchen with me?” he asked with a heavy sigh, though the smile adorning his lips let you know he wasn’t completely put out.

He had made it clear that any time spent with you lately made him happy.

“As your roommate, shouldn’t you feel some sense of responsibility for me?” you questioned, tightening the strap of the apron Yunhyeong had insisted you wear for this. You gave him your best convincing look. “You’re full of information that could help me improve my cooking skills!”

“Are we just roommates?” he murmured and then cleared his throat and gave you a pointed look. “I’m a chef, I don’t like mistakes.”

“So I’ll try my best not to make any,” you answered, trying to simmer down the heat in your face from the first part of his response.

You weren’t sure what you and Yunhyeong had become over the last month. After the first meal you shared, you had since shared three others, all tastier than the last. You had also done other things together, often curling up on the couch and reading books or watching movies together. Grocery shopping now felt like a date for you and for once in your life, you actually were excited for Sunday mornings where you cleaned the house with Yunhyeong.

It definitely felt like you were more than roommates, however, neither of you had made that first move. And although you were desperate to make your dinners alone when Yunhyeong was at work taste better than they were now, you were hopeful that seeing him in his element might give you the surge of confidence to admit that you wanted to date officially.

Or that something would happen today.

“You might hate me after this,” he continued with the forewarning and then sighed. “Which I don’t want.”

“Well, what do you want?” you softly asked and for a moment, Yunhyeong merely stared back at you, soul-searching. Your heart rate increased, and you watched as he moistened his recently chap-sticked lips with his tongue.

“Bell peppers, two of them,” he finally stated and with a languid blink, you snapped out of the shared moment.

“Right, chef.”

Instructions followed regularly thereafter, and you focused on ensuring you did your best at each step along the way. Whilst Yunhyeong was showing you techniques on how to prepare the meal for the freshest flavour, he did make sure you were able to do everything for yourself as well.

And naturally, you were much slower and clumsier in skills. “No, Y/N if you do it like that, you’ll chop your finger instead of the carrot. Here, let me help you.”

Moving in behind you, Yunhyeong placed his hands around yours on the knife and guided the other safely along the carrot. You didn’t think cutting a carrot could feel, well, quite like this.

It was harder to keep your attention on what he was showing you and not on how good he smelt or how warm he felt against you. Blinking rapidly, you cleared your throat which made him stop moving altogether. “I uh, I think I can do it.”

“Right. Yep.”

Awkwardly, you got back to it and finished cutting up the carrot. With a new task, the tension eased off around you and soon you moved onto cooking the meal. Conversation flowed well enough during this time and you even shared a couple of moments of laughter. There was nothing that happened for you to hate Yunhyeong during this lesson. If anything, it had confirmed you liked him a great deal. You were trying to figure out the best moment to tell him this when he held out a spoon towards you.

“As the chef in charge of this meal, you need to try your sauce to make sure it tastes good enough,” he mentioned and you nodded, reaching out to hold onto the spoon over his hand. He watched you intently as you tried to savour the flavour and figure if anything was missing.

When you were done sampling it, you frowned. “It’s missing something but I can’t pinpoint it. Will you try some?”

Taking the spoon and placing some of the sauce on it, you held it out to Yunhyeong, though he didn’t make any movement to take it. Instead, he continued his gaze upon you, unrelenting with the way he soaked you in. You laughed feebly, wiggling the spoon just enough in hopes to garner his attention. “Yunhyeong?”

You vaguely heard the spoon clatter to the ground with how swift Yunhyeong took you in his arms, his mouth moving over yours before you had a chance to even blink. It didn’t take you long to react, however, eyes shutting as your hands wound up his chest to link behind his head, kissing him back with just as much fervour.

You had spent hours thinking about this first kiss and how it would go. Perhaps, you had been naïve to think something soft and sweet led in from a smile would be the most likely option. Much like his food, Yunhyeong had overwhelmed you, now pressing his body flush into yours, wedging you against the countertop. Somewhere, after sucking in a deep breath to continue the next kiss, you had found yourself hoisted up onto the countertop, Yunhyeong stepping in between your legs. And you were certain this moment would have continued, had you not smelt something burning.

Ripping away from the heated embrace, you blinked several times to gather your bearings. Yunhyeong’s eyes were blown with lust and it was evident by how dishevelled he appeared that he had no clue why you had ended the kiss short. You shook his shoulders and then pointed to the stovetop. “It’s burning!”

“What?” Turning his head, he jumped away from you, shutting off the heat and then groaned loudly. “Shit. That wasn’t meant to happen.”

“Which part, the kiss or…?”

Yunhyeong was annoyed by the cooking mishap, but his lips still managed to curl up. “The kiss was definitely meant to happen, though I should have waited until the food was done. We’ll have to start all over.”

“Or we could order in,” you offered, Yunhyeong merely frowning in response. “Less stress or time spent cooking and more time…”

“Kissing?”

“Well, they do say receiving a chef’s kiss is a good thing,” you tempted and once Yunhyeong was satisfied nothing else would interrupt you both, he stepped back in between your legs, hands loosely resting on your hips.

“Is that so?”

You hummed appreciatively and moved so your lips were nearly on his. “Next time, we’ll cook better.”

“I’ll just spoil you and meal prep your dinners before I go to work. It’s the least I can do for you.”

“Because you’re my roommate?” you asked cheekily and he let out a low curse, shaking his head.

“Unless you want me to take that literally and wind up in your bed tonight too, I think we should settle with officially dating.”

You grinned. “Can I get a chef’s kiss to seal the deal?”

With a laugh, Yunhyeong pecked your lips. “The problem isn’t going to be starting. It’s going to be knowing when to stop when it comes to you.”

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albapuella · 4 years

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How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Two)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday. Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 1:

Despite his slacker appearance (and life-style, to be honest), Dave was always punctual. He'd even made an effort to look the part of a guy going on a date with another guy: jeans with only a few holes at the knees, his favorite record shirt, and a red hoodie—all freshly cleaned. So freshly cleaned that the sweater was still very slightly damp. Well, whatever, it'd be fine. They were having dinner first, and that meant he'd have plenty of time for the thing to dry out before they went to the movies where the main thrust of Dave's doki-doki plan would commence.

Karkat arrived a few minutes later. He wasn't dressed to the nines, but it was at least to the sevens. It occurred to Dave, as he watched him approach, that he hadn't known how tall Karkat was. The answer was slightly shorter than Dave but with a more solid build. Stocky. Or maybe that was just the black sweater he was wearing. Then again, his legs looked pretty solid in the black pants he was wearing, too. Either way, he looked good.

Dave gave him an appreciative whistle which made Karkat's eyes narrow. Not the reaction he'd wanted. “Looking good, Karkat,” he said quickly, hoping to smooth over any feathers he might have inadvertently ruffled. “I'm digging the whole sexy college professor thing you've got going.”

“Uh, thanks,” Karkat said with evident disbelief. “You, uh, you look good, too.” He straightened up. “You said we were doing dinner first.”

“Yep.” Dave held out his arm. “I’m taking you to my favorite place. A lot of people think it’s wack, but I’m buying, so if you really don’t like it, at least it didn’t cost you anything.” When his date didn't immediately take his offered arm, he shook it invitingly. “It's not too far from here.”

Karkat looked from Dave's arm to Dave, suspicious. Then he sighed and laid his hand on Dave's arm, his hold tighter than Dave had expected it to be considering his earlier hesitation. “Okay. Fine. Sounds great. Let's go.”

---

The first thing Karkat noticed when he took Dave's arm was that his sleeve was damp. Then he noticed the feeling of the arm beneath his fingers. Despite looking thin enough to break, there was some muscle here. As they walked to what was apparently Dave’s favorite restaurant, Dave just kept talking. If Karkat had been offered a thousand dollars, he doubted he could have remembered any specific details of the inanity he'd been subjected to. A nervous talker. He'd have to put that down in his notes.

Dinner went much the same. Dave talked at him while Karkat sat there trying to eat his food (overpriced, faux Italian—of all the places Dave could have chosen, he'd picked a fucking Olive Garden? That was going in his notes, too.). In all honesty, Karkat tried not to pay too much attention to what was being said. First, he'd already determined that most of what came out of this man's mouth was completely meaningless nonsense, and second, if he actually listened to any of it, he'd be hard pressed not to respond to the idiocy. While Dave had no evident compunction about swearing, Karkat wanted to get through at least this first date without screaming.

All right, so that was an exaggeration. Some of what Dave said was actually pretty funny. In a hopelessly awkward sort of way. Karkat hated that Dave's clumsy compliments were making him blush. Clearly, the man had brain damage... which also explained the rapping that Dave kept doing (completely unprovoked!). By the time dinner was over, Karkat was only too grateful that their next destination meant that Dave would have to stop talking.

---

Since Dave had picked the restaurant, Karkat had picked the movie. Some romantic comedy chick flick Dave couldn't be bothered to remember the title of. Still, it gave him an opportunity to sit right tight next to Karkat and eat his weight in popped, buttery goodness, so he really couldn't complain.

“What’s the deal with that dude?” Dave whispered. “I thought he was already tight with that other chick. What gives? Is he cheating on her?”

Karkat made a noise like a cat being stepped on but softer. “Dave,” he whispered back, his tone full of the same sing-songy patient impatience that Rose would use when she thought Dave was being particularly dim, “if you were paying attention, you'd already know that that 'dude' is that 'other chick's' cousin. They are probably not romantically involved. I know you're from Texas, but that's not how it works above the Mason Dixon line.” Then he ducked his head and took a long drink from his soda. “Sorry. Just-just watch the movie and be quiet.”

Dave blinked. He'd been starting to think Karkat wasn't going to open up at all. At least, he'd had fuck all to say during dinner. Even if it had been an incest joke at his expense, it still was nice to hear Karkat say something. Something that wasn't just non-committal noises or unenthusiastic agreements. He leaned against Karkat's shoulder to whisper, “It's not true, you know. About Texas. We don't fuck our cousins; I mean, we do, but not first cousins. We're strictly second cousins only. It's a rule. Of course, none of my second cousins are as hot as you, so I'd be willing to make an exception. Just this once.”

This earned him a light elbowing to the gut and a low growl, but Karkat didn't push him off.

By the end of the movie, Dave had gotten five more elbows to the gut, three startled bursts of laughter, two creative insults (quickly joined by muttered apologies), and one “Will you please just let me watch this movie?” Over all, Dave felt like he'd succeeded in charming the hell out of this motherfucker, thank you very much.

They'd walked out into the open air, a nice breeze whisking away the smell of popcorn and sweat from the movie theater. “I had a lot of fun, Karkat. Thanks for coming on this date with me. Do you think we could do this again sometime?”

Karkat blinked at him, a clear look of surprise on his face. “Oh, uh, sure.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, I'd love to go on another date with you.”

Dave's heart leapt. “Awesome. You can hit me up on Pesterchum. Or I can hit you up. How about I hit you up?”

“Fine, that's... that's fine.” Karkat's smile seemed uneven. “I'll be looking forward to it.”

Although Dave was tempted to try for a kiss, he didn't think he ought to press his luck so far on the first date. Karkat had loosened up some while they'd been in the theater, but out here under the streetlight, he looked nervous again. The last thing Dave wanted to do was chase him away. “Okay then. I guess I'll see you later?”

A slow nod. “Yeah, later.” Karkat was stilted and contained again. Restricted, like a hermit crab stuck in a shell that was too tight. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. Dave had caught a few glimpses of the real Karkat tonight, and the sight made him hungry to see more.

Dave watched him walk away, admiring the view with a new goal in mind: he was going to get Karkat Vantas out of his shell if it was the last thing he did. Getting to rub him in Rose’s face at her wedding was only going to be a bonus.

---

* Never shuts up. Not even during movies. Especially during movies. Attention span of a gnat. From Texas. Doesn't know how to use a dryer. Finds me attractive. Probable brain damage. Funny. Charming. Obnoxious. Never takes off sunglasses. Olive Garden.

Karkat sighed and set down his pen. He'd tried his best to be as cordial as he knew how to be, and he still hadn't managed to last for the entire four hours without insulting his date. Multiple times. Oh well. At least Dave was apparently brain damaged enough to find rudeness terribly amusing (if the way he'd kept bugging Karkat during the movie had been any indication).

He'd been surprised when Dave had actually asked if they could go on another date. Karkat knew he hadn't made the best impression, and yet Dave wanted to spend more time with him? He looked over his notes, trying to ignore the surge of happiness that filled him at the thought. It didn't mean anything: Dave was clearly an idiot, and after a few more days, Karkat was going to start on the offensive. Whatever meager promise there would have been in this fledgling romance, it was still doomed from the start: like all of Karkat's relationships.

Day 2:

It was all Dave could do to wait until the next day to pester Karkat. He didn't want to come off as too eager, after all. Didn't want to put Karkat off. But Dave was only so strong.

TG: so i was thinking TG: if youre not busy TG: we could go to the park this afternoon TG: watch the grifters and maybe get robbed TG: or you could come to my place and hang TG: is it too soon to do that? TG: asking for a friend TG: this is dave by the way TG: i dont know how many people youre talking to TG: not that its any of my business TG: i wouldnt want you up in my grill asking me who im talking to CG: IT IS SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAY. TG: yea and youre up anyway CG: BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP. WITH YOUR TEXTS. THAT YOU SENT JUST NOW. TG: oh shit sorry CG: IT'S FINE. I NEEDED TO GET UP ANYWAY. CG: YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? WHY?

Dave frowned down at his phone. Was Karkat fishing for compliments or was he being serious?

TG: because its fun to hang out with you TG: thats how this works right? TG: i thought we could watch another movie TG: at my place TG: or your place i guess if that works better for you TG: ive got popcorn if that sweetens the deal at all CG: YES. BECAUSE THE WAY TO MY HEART IS MICROWAVED POPCORN. TG: fucking called it CG: … CG: FINE. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PARK AT 2:30PM. IS THAT ACCEPTABLE? TG: perfect ill meet you by the giant yo CG: YOU MEAN THE OY/YO. TG: tomatoes tomotoes karkat

Dave watched the little “CG is typing” message run for almost a minute, feeling his nervousness grow. What had he said that required a novel length response? He managed to reign in the impulse to apologize preemptively, but it was a struggle.

CG: OKAY. WHATEVER. I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Fine, good then. Nothing was wrong.

TG: im looking forward to it TG: its not hard to intuit TG: when we come out to debut TG: sit by the yo then well go round TG: downtown get the lowdown TG: before we get busy in the hissie TG: partake of the fizzie cause we got a duty TG: to watch the fuck out of this movie CG: RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN. BYE.

Dave shrugged. He couldn't expect Karkat to really appreciate his off the cuff rhymes so soon after waking up, he supposed. Maybe they'd land better later. Flat reception or not, the important thing was he'd gotten Karkat to agree to come to his apartment. He looked around, frowning. Maybe he should clean up a little.

---

Jesus Fucking Christ. Karkat tossed his phone on the bedside table with a groan. It had been all that he could do not to curse out Dave like there would never be a tomorrow. Considering the fact that he was currently planning to go to the apartment of a practical stranger, that much might just be true for him. He lay in bed a little longer, out of spite mostly—he could never get back to sleep after being woken up—, before getting out from under the covers. First things first: notes.

* Inconsiderate asshole. Horrible rapper. Calls the OY/YO “the YO”. Doesn't know the right way to express “tomatoes, tomahtos”. Wants to spend time with me. Insane. We have that much in common.

Thanks to Dave's wake-up call, Karkat had plenty of time to eat a hearty breakfast and start his article.

“How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure” BY KARKAT VANTAS

Since you have decided to read this article, I will assume that you are looking to learn the art of ruining your relationships without the mess of all that trial and error. Maybe you enjoy breaking hearts. Maybe you are the kind of masochist who enjoys getting their heart broken but is at a loss as to how to properly sabotage your relationship yourself. If you can manage to follow these simple steps, you will be well on your way to the same bitter loneliness that usually only the most unlucky in love get the privilege to experience.

The first step is the victim. For the purposes of this article, I picked one that is particularly obnoxious and brain dead. You may have different qualities you are looking for in a potential short-term partner. Ultimately, the most important thing to consider when you plan to lose a guy (or gal or enby) is that you make certain they are one you do not mind losing. That way you can start the process without any regrets.

The second step is the hook. Laugh at their dumb jokes; accept their stupid compliments; ignore their mangling of the English language (in my case, his horrible rapping); and generally be as agreeable as you can manage. A severe lack of intelligence in your short-term partner can be a boon here, though you will find most people are not immune to flattery. You need to make certain that you have your short-term partner well and truly interested in you before you attempt to lose them. If you try to lose them too soon, you will miss out on the full relationship ruining experience.

A little too informal, maybe, but a fine start. Depending on how well this afternoon went (assuming he wasn't murdered and stuffed in a closet), maybe Karkat would be able to start on step three. He was able to stomp down his nascent guilt with ease. After all, Dave wouldn't have been interested in him after the novelty wore off anyway.

---

The afternoon was a little warmer than the evening had been, but Dave still wore his hoodie. It felt lucky, and it was still clean. More the latter than the former, but the point stood! He sat down on the bench next to the giant yellow YO installation and waited. While it was tempting to shoot a message to Karkat, he decided against it. He’d be seeing him in less than ten minutes, and he didn’t want him to think he was clingy. Which he wasn’t. Totally not. Dave Strider had never clung his whole life. Ask anyone. Except Jade. Don’t ask her.

He noticed his leg was bouncing and put a stop to that noise. He was a cool operator. He had this thing on lock. The date yesterday had gone good, right? Karkat wouldn’t have agreed to see him again if he’d had a terrible time. He pushed back his hood and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing to worry about. He’d have a date for Rose’s wedding and continue sorting out the mystery that was Karkat Vantas.

Dave heard the crunch of gravel and looked over to see Karkat approaching. Another sweater combo, but gray this time. The guy had a style he preferred, clearly. It was fine: he looked great. He stood and closed the distance between them. “Hey, Karkat.”

“Hey,” Karkat returned, frowning. Of course, that seemed to be his default expression. “I brought a movie to watch,” he said gruffly.

Although Dave had been hoping he’d be able to pick the movie this time, he wasn’t too cut up about it. It might be a little early in the relationship to bring out The Room anyway. He wouldn’t know. “Sounds great. My place isn’t too far from here.” He held his arm out. “Shall we?”

Again, Karkat regarded his arm with suspicion. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

Karkat opened his mouth before seeming to think better of whatever he’d planned to say. “Never mind.” He took Dave’s arm. “Let’s get going.”

As they walked to his apartment, Dave tried to keep the conversation flowing, but Karkat’s subdued responses quickly killed his enthusiasm. “I feel like I’m talking too much,” he said finally.

Karkat mumbled something which sounded suspiciously like “You think?” before he shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m just a little too tired to, uh, participate, that’s all.”

Dave winced at the reminder of his first faux pas of the day. “No problem, dude. I got us covered. I got words for days.”

“Months even,” Karkat added before ducking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

Nudging Karkat’s side, Dave laughed. “Nah, man it’s true. I’ve got words for fucking years.”

Karkat smiled slightly. “Decades.”

“Centuries.”

“Eons”

“Until the next motherfucking epoch, I’ve got words, Karkat. So many words. All the words even.”

Karkat snorted, covering his face with his free hand. “Damn it, Dave. Stop making yourself likeable.”

“I think that’s the point of this whole thing,” Dave pointed out reasonably. “Dating, I mean. It’s not like the old days where your dad and my dad decide if you’re worth enough chickens to trade me for, you know. These days I get to decide for myself how many chickens I want to be traded for.” He gave Karkat a mock critical eye. “How about it, Karkat? How many chickens could I get for you?”

“I don’t know,” Karkat said, his mock serious tone almost too close to a serious tone for Dave’s comfort. “Let me look in my pocket.” He made a show of staring down at the pocket containing his free hand before sliding the hand out and flipping Dave the bird. “Is this enough for you?”

Dave laughed. “I’m sorry, Karkat. You must have at least five chickens to ride this ride.” He felt his face flush but pushed onward. “I guess you’ll have to settle for a movie, and maybe some pizza.”

Karkat was grinning, and Dave decided right then and there that he wanted to keep seeing it. “Maybe next time.” As though to intentionally spite him, Karkat frowned again. “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, man, just a little further.” As they continued their journey to his apartment, Dave felt himself frown. What was Karkat’s deal? He was a lot more fun when he let himself be himself. Dave didn’t like meanness for meanness sake, but he enjoyed a good joke. For some reason, Karkat seemed to think he shouldn’t joke around? Why? His frown deepened. Karkat also apologized a lot. And he was so often deferential even when it was obvious he had OPINIONS he wasn’t sharing. The pieces were adding up to a disturbing picture.

Maybe after he was done hanging out with Karkat today, he should hit up Rose. She’d know what to do.

---

Karkat’s expectations for Dave’s apartment had been fairly low, and he’d been pleasantly surprised. While not as meticulous as his own apartment, there at least weren’t empty food containers on every surface or dirty clothes everywhere. There was an overall shabbiness though: the feeling that the occupant didn’t care overly much about the apartment’s upkeep. The futon in front of the television was ancient and threadbare as were the carpets. The posters hung on the walls were dusty and faded, and there was a sort of mildewy smell. Still, as previously mentioned it was clean (more or less), and there were no obvious signs of a hidden murder dungeon (not that there would be if there were one, naturally).

“Nice place,” he said for politeness’ sake.

Dave beamed like a little boy who’d gotten just what he’d wanted for Christmas. “Thanks. It’s not much, but it keeps the rain off.” He gestured towards the futon. “Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got apple juice. And water from the tap, I guess. I could go pick up some beer if you want to go that route, or--”

Karkat held up his hand, hoping to stem the tide of suggestions. “Water’s fine, thank you.”

“You’ve got it,” Dave said before tilting his head and making twin awkward gestures with both hands involving his pointer fingers. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

It wasn’t until after he’d disappeared into, presumably, the kitchen that Karkat realized he’d been making finger guns. What a dork. Not that Karkat was any more suave, but he liked to think he was at least less childish. He tried to supplant the rush of fondness he felt by recalling just how pissed he’d been with this manchild this morning. It was not one hundred percent successful.

Dave returned with two glasses: water for Karkat, and apple juice for himself. “Take a seat,” he insisted as he set the glasses on the coffee table (sans coasters). “It won’t bite.”

Gingerly, Karkat took a seat on the ancient futon. The padding was so thin, he could feel the bars beneath. It was going to take a while to become unbearable, and he hoped this hang out? date? didn’t last long enough for that to happen. Just as he’d been about to reach for the water, suddenly uncertain whether he actually ought to drink anything Dave gave him, Dave flopped down onto the futon beside him like a sack of gangly flour. “Dave!”

“S’up?” Dave asked, grinning.

“Don’t ‘s’up’ me--,” Karkat managed to stop himself from calling Dave an asshole, but only just. “Just don’t ‘s’up’ me. Speak like a normal person.” He realized he was making a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “Sorry, I--”

“Dude,” Dave said, his grin dropping away, “Karkat, you don’t have to apologise for every kind of mean thing you say. I’m a big boy: I can take it.”

Karkat supposed he shouldn’t be surprised: he’d never been good at pretending to be a good person. If he could have managed that feat for any length of time, he wouldn’t be in this position. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as dryly as he could.

“I’m serious.” Dave sat up and turned to face Karkat head on, and Karkat saw his own annoyed expression mirrored in the black lenses. “I haven’t known you very long, and maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but--”

“You’re right,” Karkat interrupted, feeling his tenuous hold on his temper slipping. “You shouldn’t say anything.” After taking a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to say anything he didn’t mean to, he spoke again. “Let’s just watch the movie and eat some microwaved popcorn. Does that sound like something we could do? Or would you like to keep pretending you have some deep insights into my character as though we’ve known each other longer than three days?”

Dave raised his hands, and Karkat realized he’d sounded far more aggressive than the situation warranted. At this rate, he wouldn’t even get a chance to lose this asshole! Nice job, Vantas: stellar work. “No, you’re right. I’ll step off.” Dave said softly. He got off of the futon with far more grace than he’d flopped onto it with. “You just put the movie in, and I’ll, uh, I’ll make the popcorn.”

Karkat watched him go before putting his head in his hands. Well, fuck. As though this whole situation hadn’t been awkward before. He should just leave. Just leave, forget about his stupid article, and stop dragging this stupidly likeable idiot down with him. He should.

He stayed where he was.

---

Dave took maybe longer than he absolutely needed to to prepare the popcorn. As much as he liked to consider himself a smooth operator, he could tell when he’d made a mistake, and he wanted to give the guy in the other room a chance to cool down. What made it made it worse was that Karkat had been right to get mad at him: Dave barely knew him. In his place, Dave would probably be pissed, too.

Even so, Dave didn’t think he was wrong about the conclusions he’d come to. It was obvious that Karkat was, for whatever reason, putting on a show for Dave’s sake. Honestly, it was kind of creepy. If he understood why Karkat felt the need to do that, he’d feel better about it.

But it wasn’t his business. Not yet. Maybe you had to reach a certain level on the boyfriend echeladder before that kind of thing was something you talked about. It would probably help if they were actually boyfriends and not just newly dating, too. There seemed to be at least one obvious solution to that problem.

Dave could be patient. After all, he still had eleven days or so to get Karkat to at least like him enough to be his plus one at Rose’s wedding. It wasn’t all he wanted anymore, but it'd be enough to start with. As Rose had so often told him, start with small goals.

He poured an obscene amount of butter over the popcorn in the bowl and headed out to the living room. Karkat was bent over, fiddling with the DVD player, and when he looked up at Dave, his mouth was curved somewhat upwards. “What movie do you have for us?”

Karkat stood. “Coming to America.” He made his way back to the futon and sat down as though worried he might fall through if he sat down too quickly. “It’s more comedy than romantic, so I thought you might enjoy it more.”

That sounded vaguely familiar. “Okay.” Dave joined him on the futon, taking care not to startle him this time. “Let’s get this party started.”

---

Karkat had hoped bringing a comedy would hold Dave’s attention enough to keep him from talking through the whole thing. He’d been mistaken. Yes, a lot of what Dave said was funny, but it just never fucking stopped. Finally, Karkat couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. Then he very deliberately set the remote back down. “I want you to listen to me, Dave. Are you listening?”

Dave looked confused, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’m listening. Do you have something you want to tell me? I’m all ears. Lay it on me.”

God, he couldn’t even listen without rambling! “Would it kill you to shut up?” He saw Dave’s eyebrows peek over the tops of his glasses. A part of him told him to reconsider his current course of action, but naturally, Karkat could never abide by a piece of good advice. “Would it literally cause you to drop dead if you couldn’t expel your idiocy out of your mouth like a goddamned septic pipe full of half-formed metaphors and bullshit? Would your head explode? Can we try that experiment and see what happens?” Karkat felt his fingernails biting into his palms and realized he’d clenched his fists. “What do you say, Dave? Wait, I’ve changed my mind: don’t say anything. Let me bask in the gentle ethereal glow of silence for a moment. Can you do that for me, Dave? Can you let me bask? Will the endless flow of words finally cease?”

‘No’ was clearly the answer to that question since Dave was already opening his mouth. Then, to Karkat’s utter shock, he shut it again. His expression wasn’t ever easy to read with those douche shades he insisted on wearing all the time, but now it was completely closed off. Even the eyebrows had lowered back to their original position.

Silence stretched between them.

Karkat felt sick to his stomach. Shit. Shit. He really just couldn’t do it, could he? Couldn’t pretend even for a few hours that he was a normal person. Well, so much for this experiment. Time to write off this little adventure. Was it worth even trying to apologise? Before he could decide, Dave made the decision for him.

He was clapping. “Damn, just got owned,” he said, a wide grin splitting his face. “You owned me, Karkat. You should feel proud. Not everyone gets own this,” he gestured to himself. “I just hope you know what you’re getting into: I’m barely house trained.”

For an embarrassingly high number of seconds, all Karkat could do was blink. “You’re not mad?”

“Fuck no,” Dave said, still grinning. “I’m a big kid now. I’ve graduated from diapers all the way to pull ups. It takes more than a finely crafted, well-deserved take down to take me down.” The grin softened. “This is what I was trying to say before: I want to date you, not some weird super agreeable version of you. If you want to tell me off for talking too much, fucking go for it. You’ve got a way with insults--it’s a gift. Frankly, I’m insulted you’ve been keeping it to yourself.”

“There’s more where that comes from, asshole,” Karkat said before he could stop himself. To his amazement, Dave still seemed more amused than anything. A strange mixture of anger and fondness welled up inside him. “Stop grinning at me, and watch the fucking movie.” He picked up the remote and hesitated. “You don’t have to be silent,” he said, still feeling a little guilty over his earlier outburst, “just maybe less talking?”

Dave made a big show of running a zipper over his lips. Then he immediately ruined it by saying, “Scouts honor, Karkat. My word is bond. You can cash that shit at the bank.”

Karkat tried to picture Dave as a boy scout and failed. “Right.” He pressed play and the movie resumed. Of course, Dave still talked during the movie, but the sheer volume of words had slowed to a moderate stream rather than the full-bore blasting Karkat had been subjected to earlier. As he sat there on the futon, occasionally answering Dave’s stupid comments with barbs of his own, he felt warm in a way that was only nominally connected to the temperature of the arm he was leaning against. He felt… content.

---

Overall, Operation Hang Out had been a big success. It had been rocky in places, but again, overall, Dave felt like he’d hit his major mission objectives. A movie was watched, pizza was consumed, and Karkat finally, finally, did something other than apologise every time a hint of the person he’d met at the cafe had come through. He didn’t necessarily want to keep pissing Karkat off, but that bitch fit he’d thrown had been epic.

Karkat wasn’t the kind of guy Dave had expected to find himself interested in. At least, he’d never thought he’d have a grumpy asshole kink. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the more quiet parts of Karkat’s visit, too. It had felt nice to sit on the futon with someone leaning against his shoulder. Dave wasn’t a sap, no, not a suave guy like him, but he couldn’t deny he’d like to do it again some time.

He considered texting Rose as he’d planned to earlier before deciding not to. After all, he’d managed the first crisis all on his own, and she might consider it cheating if he got her help. No, for now at least, this bird was flying solo.

---

* Clean apartment. Finger guns. Puts too much butter on popcorn. Also talks during movies outside theater setting. Likes getting insulted. Kink? Wants to date the “real” me. Delusional. Comfortable arm. Had a nice time. Had acceptable time. Clothes in his shower???

#Homestuck #Humanstuck #fan fic #my fic #wip

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ofargentum · 4 years

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|| @ofscientia cont.

A tomb .. For a moment he falters, bitterness rising in a heart that usually throws forth nothing but joviality, no matter the secrets it covers so ardently. Blue-violet eyes flicker to where Aranea waits, gaze narrowing as they take in her features. She’s beautiful, he’d have to be blind to not concede that ... and Ignis is smart, right? That means he sees it too.

Another wave of jealousy surges through him as he fights the urge to stalk off, black boots splashing their way through swampy marsh in a determined step. He’s not sulking.... he’s not. The clearing of his throat echoes loud in the silence thats gathered around them, arms crossing over his chest as body shakes with nervous energy. Being still is something that Prompto Argentum has always struggled with, and this latest problem offers no solution. Arms wave in a stretch as he bounces his weight from heel to toe and back again, eyes purposely ignoring the green gaze that always sees right through him.

An affirmative from Noct has the blonde blinking upwards - for a moment he had forgotten where they were, what they were trying to accomplish .. and pale cheeks flush pink, shame coloring his features. Forgetting their mission was forgetting Noct ... was forgetting Insomnia. Voice rises as he’s one of the first to move, words high pitched and forced even to his own ears - feet stepping on the back of the commodore’s boots. “Whoops - sorry.” His shade of red is only deepening as they follow her into the ruins, thoughts too focused on his own shortcomings to take even the slightest notice of the dark they quickly find themselves in.

Despite his best efforts he’s soon once more at Ignis’s side, thankful for the dark that envelops them so completely. Was Ignis watching Aranea as they walked? Was he thinking that she was someone more ... befitting ... of his time? Tongue presses to the inside of one cheek as black boots falter for the barest of moments, feet tripping over themselves as he struggles to make sense of the thoughts that swerve through his head. The confession is there on the tip of his tongue, throat making a strangled noise as he does his best to force it out - but teeth clench tightly shut, pushing it further back into the recesses of his chest.

“Hey guys ! Crumbling stairs? Chance of certain death? - yep, you got it !” A wave of his hand as he digs out the camera resting in his back pocket, waving it in the air as if the others can somehow see it. He hears Noct’s scoff and Aranea’s pained sigh and yet he all but skips forward, waving his latest treasure in the air. “Its picture time!”

He won’t look at Ignis. He won’t ...

#ofscientia #There are no bargains between lions and men // (v. main)#we were like gods at the dawning of the world // (in character)#me: o god i hope i can do justice to amy's length #me: *word vomits*#prompto is being ..... prompto.#but he loves iggy okay?#never forget it #he's just convinced that anyone is more worthy of iggy than him #and he's afraid ignis is going to see it too #:||

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akingdomtheorist · 5 years

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KH Catch-Up: BBS FM Aqua

AQUA STORY START

"Aqua is like a mom friend and Terra is like the cool uncle."

-sees Dodge and Dodge Roll Cartwheel- "Aqus is so cool."

"Is that an outfit or does Vanitas just have glowing red abs?"

"I just realized they're all wearing X's. Xehanort knows where they are at all times!"

"Oh don't make promises-don't-MMMM..."

CASTLE OF DREAMS

"Are we gonna turn into a mouse? I'm gonna be upset if we turn into a mouse again."

"These are some ominous camera angles."

"Aw we have to deal with the evil step-bitches now?"

He is in love with Barrier Surge.

-looks in the shop- "We don't have it (Cure) yet???"

"Oh we are a mouse- god dammit."

"So Aqua is 'we're late to the party' campaign."

"Take off your super anime shoes."

"Grenades?! When did she get grenades?!"

DWARF WOODLANDS

"I like how they assume the girls aren't here to steal their shit."

"I like how theres no context to this for us. Magic Mirror is just like 'Theres another anime kid in the castle, better take care of this one too.'"

"Yep he (Ven) had to go to that great Keyblade in the sky, thats why he left."

ENCHANTED DOMINION

"Excuse me? You're not allowed to do that, that's cheating!"

"Wait was this the room with the Rainbow Rocket bullshit?"

-during Spellweaver- "I sporkle."

"Run run run run run."

"Ah, this is where we get dragon'd."

"Kay Phillip I kinda need you to do your shield thing."

"In reality throwing your sword is entirely impractical. This is why you should keep a bow on you."

RADIANT GARDEN

"I like how Radiant Garden's tower is entirely nonsensical even before Xehanort took over."

"KAIRI! THAT'S BABY KAIRI!"

"Hi Mickey, what's up?"

"I am SO POWERFUL. I AM SO POWERFUL but also squishy."

"We're not grown ups!"

"We aren't even spying on him!"

"SHE DID NOTHING WRONG! NOTHING! SHE'S BEEN CLEANING UP TERRA'S MESS THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME! SHE JUST WANTS YOU ALL TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN! I'm upset. I'm mad."

Then the grinding that was spent resulted in 32 Blizzard drops and the most op Command Deck he's ever made.

"Oh hi Vanitas. Oh we're going to destroy you."

"Oh hun I have grinded for six hours-you know let's see what Mega Flare does."

Mega Flare did nothing.

"I hate this."

"Alright, Haley Joel Osment Joker laughing was not what I expected."

OLYMPUS COLISEUM

"Can you please hold, I'm preparing your destruction."

"Is Phil hitting on me?"

"You don't want-you don't want me to do that (my best) Zack."

"I'm sorry to crush your dreams kid. I'm sorry to crush them in a giant nuclear explosion."

"OH MY GOD THIS FREEZES HIM!?"

"Look, kid you're- no you're just fighting an archmage."

-sees Hades- "Same haiiiiir."

"What rules? The rules you just made up? Well I mean you're Hades so yes the rules you just made up."

"I remember how to do this, I don't need Curaga."

"Aqua just be like 'I appreciate your enthusiasm'."

DISNEY TOWN

"-sigh- I'll go nuke 'em for ya."

"Are we playing tennis? Is this Kingdom Hearts Tennis?"

"I am not good at this mini game."

"Awww... to be fair, we all got one vote, out of three."

"Did you forget she was a princess, Pete? Did you forget she had guards?"

"Awww..."

"She dumped him in the fucking Shadow Realm!"

"Is that Malefi- of course that's Maleficent."

"I didn't realize Disney had a Shadow Realm."

DEEP SPACE

"This might be the only one Gantu gets along with. Oh wait, never mind, he had to go and ruin it."

"Alright lets go leave all these monsters so we can tell her we killed all the monsters."

"Am I high enough high jump to do this? Nope. -shuts off gravity-."

NEVERLAND

"I feel like Aqua's campaign can be summed up as "Sigh... boys."."

"I sproing."

"Man these worlds are short when you don't have to fight anything."

If you ask my opinion. "I DIDN'T."

"This is the battle of the fuckin' I-Frames here."

DESTINY ISLANDS

"Riku must just be like 'man, three weird people today'."

He's a spitting image of Ven. "AHEM. HMM."

"They still get Keyblades anyway."

KEYBLADE GRAVEYARD

"Yeah Kingdom Hearts blahdiblah things I don't understand."

"Hey Braig."

"Nope. This is gonna be the final boss isn't it."

"Now when you have I-Frames, that's cheating."

"I don't believe this is real. Okay maybe it's real."

THE SECRET MOVIE WE WATCHED OFF YOUTUBE

"Terra's SASSY."

"Oh this is where he meets Ansem."

"This is after KH2 isn't it?"

"Yeah you were kind of a dick."

"I'm so sad Aqua's gonna get Norted."

"Every time I see these three (Sea Salt Trio) I'm SAD."

"Crackpot Theory: Sora restores everybody in 3 and that's what that scene is."

"Puberty hit these kids like a truck, they went from looking twelve to seventeen like overnight."

THAT'S THE END OF BBS

#kh catch up #BBS #kh bbs #aqua

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not-close-to-straight · 6 years

Text

Spideypool Arranged Marriage-- Walking in on Awkward Situations

(So this is definitely going to be more of a “Bad Ideas” sort of fic, where Wade and Peter spent just as much time snarking at each other as they do sexing at each other and angsting at each other. I was going to make it more serious/set in a specific time period with rigid rules and proper speech and all that, but I decided that creating my own little universe where I can cherry pick my favorite cliches/ideas from different time periods and mash them up into this little disaster would be more fun. Enjoy)

(read more cuz its gets like a tiny bit smutty)

******************************************

Peter won’t even look at Wade during dinner, and that’s fine because the Alpha can hardly sit still, rubbing his hands down his thighs, coughing awkwardly, not even attempting to make conversation.

“I can’t get it out of my head.” he finally whispers, agitated and jumpy and looking like he is thinking about out right bolting from his seat, manners be damned.

“Use bleach.” Peter hisses, his face burning in embarrassment, well aware that everyone in the general vicinity can scent the panic and anger pouring off of him.

“Bleach?” Wade frowns at him. “Bleach? Uh no thanks. I mean I cannot. stop. thinking. about. it. and not like, not in a bad way?”

“Not in a bad way?” Peter frowns right back. “What do you--”

The Alpha clears his throat and sends a pointed glance down to his lap, and the Omega looks down, then snaps his head back up, his eyes wide. “Oh.” Peter squeaks.

“Yep.” Wade nods. “So thanks for that.”

“Um--” Peters hand is so tight around his fork that its almost white. “Um-- you-- I thought you would be grossed out.”

“Grossed out?” Wade sounds like he is strangling. “No offense, your highness, but no Alpha in the world would be grossed out by...by that.”

“Oh.” Peter squeaks again, and they sit in miserable, completely too aware of each other, silence for several minutes.

“It seems a little crude.” Peter finally whispers. “To be caught doing... I mean, it isn’t proper, and--”

“Its gorgeous.” Wade groans and his eyes blur red, the cup shattering in his hands when he squeezes too hard as his Alpha surges towards the surface. “Gorgeous.” he says again, and this time its little more than a growl and the servants cleaning up the broken glass and the spilled wine look at him nervously.

“Oh my.” Peter wants to die now, because his scent changes from panicked to interested and he can tell by the way the Alpha’s nostrils flare that he picked up on it.

“You’re killing me.” Wade says through clenched teeth. “Little Omega, you are killing me.”

“Thats the first time you’ve ever called me gorgeous.” Peter swallows hard. “Um, you’ve never said anything like that to me before.”

“My mistake.” the Alpha turns to look at him, visibly willing the red to recede so Peter can see the hazel of his eyes. “Ill say it all the time now.”

“No, um, you dont have to.” Peter says lamely, even though his Omega is practically whining, whimpering, begging to come forward a little to court the Alpha.

“Well.” Wade shrugs, much more under control than he had been just a few minutes before. “I could lie to you and tell you you’re ugly, if you want.”

Peter huffs in annoyance, the moment going from awkward to heated to sweet to obnoxious just that fast.

“Alpha Prince.” he says firmly. “i would prefer it if you didnt insult me.”

“So proper when you’re angry.” Wade laughs a little. “Fucking gorgeous.”

Peter starts eating again, a flush on his cheeks, and Wade takes a drink from his new cup, telling himself not to think of how he had walked in on Peter earlier, while the Omega had been spread across the bed, one hand around that pretty little cock, the other pushing a toy into his--

“Wade!” Peter shrieks a little when the heavy scent of Alpha swamps him. “STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.”

“I need to leave.” Wade announces and leaves the table without another word.

Peter hides his red face in his hands and wants to die.

But a piece of him wants to know if he hadn’t yelled for Wade to get out of his room if the Alpha would have helped him....

Peter tosses his napkin down and flees the dining room as well.

#spideypool #arranged marriage #alpha wade #omega peter

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Life and Death {Biadore} Chapter 2 -C*NT

A/N: Hi all! It’s been a little since I’ve wrote, this is chapter 2 of Life and Death since people really wanted me to continue it! Again, this does not necessarily reflect upon my personal beliefs as far as religion goes, so please dont bite my head off for naming “the big guy” God. Enjoy this somewhat beefy chapter. No tws so thats always a plus. ❤️

They left the room, which Danny was relieved about because honestly he felt a little creeped out. Basically, the grim reaper was his soulmate, according to the device. Maybe he wont be so bad, he thought. But his nerves weren’t put at bay just yet, because Death led Danny into an equally as dreary hallway.

“Where are we?” Danny asked as he tried to study his surroundings. There was a sleek looking elevator at the end of the hall, which looked very out of place compared to the out of date decor on the walls. There were no windows to give any hint to where they were at either, Danny thought glumly. There was an old maroon paisley printed rug lining the length of the passageway, adorned with lamps decorated with red velvet lampshades at each end. They cast an ugly yellow light throughout the room, as if the lightbulbs were obnoxiously yellow on purpose. It even smelled old and musty, similar to the room they were just sitting in. He felt like he was back in the 1970’s.

“Limbo.” Death muttered as they made their way to the elevator. They pressed the button and the doors immediately opened, exposing a very plain but high tech elevator. Danny was rattled by how quickly the doors opened, and they stepped inside.

“So Limbo is real?” Danny asked. He had imagined Limbo would be similar to Earth, but instead it reminded him of a vintage motel. He felt like he was in a completely different era, and maybe that was the point. You weren’t supposed to feel clear abouf where you were in Limbo, all you were supposed to know was that you are somewhere in between Heaven and Hell.

“Yep.” Death pressed a large gold button that was clearly labeled ‘Heaven’, ultimately shutting the doors.

Danny’s heart raced as the elevator started shooting up towards Heaven. He was going to see Heaven, he realized with a surge of excitement. He wondered what it was going to be like, as he studied the large gold button curiously. He noticed there was also one for Earth. Then he realized the elevator had buttons for all sorts of different places, times, and dimensions. The last one in the long row of buttons was the biggest and most ominous looking of all, it was black and said ‘Hell’ in bright red letters. He shuddered at the thought of having to go down there. He hoped that wasn’t his final destination after all of this was said and done.

Death snorted to themself and Danny glared at them. He had about enough of Death’s antics. He was a know it all, literally and was not being sympathetic to how he was feeling and frankly it was pissing him off.

“You know, not everyone knows everything there is to know about the universe.” Danny snapped.

“Fair.” Death shrugged. “But Satan is literally just a big jokester. Even if you did end up in Hell, it wouldn’t be as terrible as you thought.”

“So would the same be said about Heaven?”

“You’re about to find out now, aren’t you?”

The doors opened, greeting them with a blinding white light. When Danny’s eyes adjusted, the first thing he noticed that he was rather underdressed. It was just as he pictured, almost everyone was dressed in long grecian looking gowns. Except no one had huge angel wings like he was always told about on Earth. His eyes were wide as he took in all of the sights. Everyone was drop dead gorgeous and looked incredibly happy. There were dogs, cats, small children, teenagers, people of every age group and color. Everyone smiled at them, he noticed they were directed more at Danny then Death.

The second thing he noticed was how beautiful Heaven really was. The sky was bright blue with small puffy white clouds decorating it, and a small brisk breeze, but nothing too chilly or too disturbing to be considered uncomfortable. There was a courtyard with the biggest fountain he had ever seen, made of big slabs of white marble with bright gold flakes decorating each tier. The water spurting out of it was a brilliant teal, the kind of crystal clear water you’d see in the caribbean. Brick paths weaved in and out of what appeared to be a town square, where there were shops and buildings of all shapes and sizes. There was every restaurant you could think of, and beyond that were houses that were all of different shapes and sizes. Some people’s version of their dream house was small and cozy, while others were grand with huge gardens and trees. It was incredible.

None of those houses compared to the big white mansion that was situated at the end of what appeared to be Main Street though. The word mansion was an understatement for what it was, but Danny didn’t know a bigger word to describe the building. Castle? Palace? Palace was probably more accurate, seeing as the building was so tall you couldn’t see the top of it. There were huge roman columns supporting it, rose gardens on either side of the yard, and the pathway near it seemed to sparkle - it was all solid gold bricks lining the road the closer they got to the palace.

Death smiled at Danny, who looked like a little kid in a candy store for the first time. Heaven was truly a beautiful place, especially for someone who had never seen it before. But they were here for answers, not to gawk. Death wanted to know once and for all whether or not this young man was truly his soulmate.

“Come on.” Death urged Danny and grabbed his hand. To Danny’s surprise, Death was incredibly warm and had very soft hands.

They made their way towards the palace at the end of the block and Death knocked lightly on the door. It was the biggest door Danny had ever seen, reaching so high up he couldn’t see the top of it.

“Don’t be nervous.” Death warned.

Danny nodded. This would be the first time he would be meeting “the big guy”. He hoped he wouldn’t damn him to hell.

The large doors finally opened slowly, and the big guy finally appeared; only he was not big at all. In fact, he just looked like an average guy to Danny as far as height went. However, it was very hard to look at him because he was so striking. He was how he had always pictured him, tan muscular and blonde with bright blue eyes. He had a glow of light around him, it was faint but it still hurt his eyes if he stared for too long. Danny fixated his eyes on the decorations around him to ensure he wouldnt harm his vision.

“Roy! I see you brought Daniel with you.” He smiled widely. His teeth were so white it was blinding.

Danny burst out laughing and if he could see Roy underneath his hood, he would’ve saw the literal death glare he was shooting him.

“Your real name is Roy? Why didn’t you tell me?” Danny grinned.

“That’s actually classified information, Daniel. No one knew his real name but me.” God stated.

“So wait, you’re a guy?” Danny asked Roy confused.

He looked at Roy and tried to determine if he could see some sort of manly shape, but the cloak hid his body well. It was useless, he wouldn’t know until he took it off.

“It’s complicated.” God admitted and stepped aside to let them in.

“So it’s true then.” Roy murmured.

“Roy, yes it’s true.” God rolled his eyes and Danny fought back a snicker.

“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you, Danny.” He shot him a serious look. His piercing blue eyes made his face go cold as he nodded his head in understanding.

“I’m sorry sir.” Danny stammered. When he was nervous, his natural reaction was to laugh things off. The fact that Roy being his soulmate was now confirmed, just made it even more nerve wracking. He knew Roy probably thought he was just an inexperienced fucktard for lack of a better word, so he didn’t know how well things were about to play out. His anxiety was through the roof, and being yelled at by God was not how he wanted to start the day out.

Roy chuckled, sticking his tongue out at the young man. God glared at him, and he cleared his throat loudly trying to ease the tense energy in the room.

“He can’t see you, idiot.” God grinned.

Danny looked between the two men confused and saw Roy visibly sigh.

“Roy, can you just take off your dang hood already? Danny already knows you’re his. Show him who he’ll be spending eternity with.”

Danny stared at Roy with suspense, realizing that he literally had no idea who his soulmate really was. He couldn’t even put a face to a name, just a black abyss underneath a dark cloak.

“Hang on. Why him? After all of this time being alone, why now?” Roy asked.

“Come.” God motioned.

They made their way over to the sofa in the corner of the living room, which was a small word for how grand the room really was. There was a large couch that was upholstered with a beautiful soft ivory suede, and a giant crystal chandelier hung above the fragile looking glass coffee table. A marble fireplace sat against the wall, the flames crackling loudly. Danny’s shoes squeaked against the marble floors as the three of them sat down.

It was the most comfortable couch Danny had ever sat on. He sank into it, resting his head against it as he listened to the two of them talk.

“Roy, you’ve been miserable and frankly, a pain in my rear if I do say so myself. Especially over the last millennium. I’ve been waiting for the right person for you to be ready, and finally he’s here. I think it’s time you retire.”

“He’s 24 years old. He’s a baby!”

“He’s also right here.” Danny waved his hand annoyed.

“I can’t retire, what am I supposed to do with my free time?”Roy said, ignoring Danny.

“Make out with me.” Danny winked.

“In your dreams, queen.” Roy scoffed.

Danny glared at him and crossed his arms, sliding even further away from Roy. At least he was trying to find something to like about him. Roy wasn’t even trying to be his friend, let alone accept that he was his soulmate.

“He’s also the complete opposite of you.” God interrupted the tense exchange. “You’re death; grim, sarcastic, and cold hearted - or so you claim. He’s your life: positive, upbeat, but you share similar qualities as well. You’ll see Roy.”

Roy rolled his eyes underneath his cloak and sighed. He looked over at Danny, who was actually pretty attractive for his age. His dark hair and light eyes really complemented his fair skin, however he still had a hispanic background like him. He supposed that was their only thing in common, despite so many years separating them.

Danny grew up in a time where it was okay to be a drag queen, and to dress as a woman, and be whoever it was that you wanted to be. Roy didn’t have that same experience. How were they supposed to find any common ground other then being physically attracted to each other?

Who was even to say that Danny would find him attractive to begin with?

“So it’s okay to be gay?” Danny blurted out.

God’s face changed from pure confusion to amusement before he bursted out into laughter. Roy laughed along, it was pretty sweet that he was asking all of these innocent questions.

“Yes, it’s fine.”

Roy facepalmed and Danny smiled excitedly.

“So I’m not going to hell?”

“No of course not. You lived a very nice life, and now you’ll live here with Roy and hopefully make him not as bitter.” God smirked.

“So who’s taking my job?” Roy asked annoyed, choosing to ignore the bitter comment.

“That is something for me to worry about, and me only. So, am I going to have to forcibly remove your hood, or are you going to take it off already?”

Roy hesitated. It looked as if he was shaking as he grabbed the edges of the dark fabric.

What if Danny found him unattractive? He didn’t know what his type was, and he would be crushed if his soulmate was disgusted by his appearance. Even if they hadn’t hit it off yet.

“Trust me, you don’t look like Death anymore. Especially to him.” God encouraged, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s just- I’ve worn this garment for such a long time and have never taken it completely off. It’s throwing me for a loop here.” Roy hesitated.

God raised an eyebrow at him with a knowing look and Roy sighed.

Please don’t tell him, Roy thought.

God smiled sadly at him and nodded in understanding.

“Take your time. It doesn’t have to happen today.” Danny encouraged, breaking the silence.

Roy smiled at him sincerely, but then realized Danny couldn’t see him yet so it was useless. He sighed as his hands shook at the edge of the cloak, finally removing them from the hood and placing them by his sides again.

“You have to realize Daniel, that it has been many many many millennia since Roy has not worn a hood. This is a big deal for him.” God explained sternly.

Thank you, Roy thought. He was thankful he hadn’t given anything away about his insecurities. It may have seemed stupid to Danny for all he knew.

Danny nodded in understanding, and then pondered over whether or not he should ask what he had been wondering about. He had a lot of questions.

“What is it Danny?” God asked curiously.

Danny bit his lip nervously and clasped his hands together.

“So since Roy is my soulmate, and that was my last wish to find out who exactly that was; what happens now?”

“Well, you were actually supposed to be reincarnated again-”

“Again?” Danny asked dumbfounded.

“Yes again. You see, you had been reincarnated over many, many, many millenniums in order for me to make Roy the perfect soulmate. I had to have you go through many different lives to shape who you died as this time.” God beamed and then shot a look at Roy. “So even though you are 24 in your final stage Daniel, you are actually only a few years younger than Roy. Not that age matters, and anyway time is something created by humans; but that’s a completely different discussion that you will have plenty of time to engage in.”

This was a lot for Danny to wrap his head around. Reincarnation, soulmates, being gay was okay, the fact that he was many millenniums old and not just 24. He had so much on his mind, and didn’t even know where to begin asking anymore questions. He was utterly overwhelmed.

“Now, I’m sensing Roy would like to remove his cloak in private, and I need to get back to work so I’m afraid I’m going to have to dismiss you two. I have a feeling you’ll like what you see underneath it Danny. I’ve set up your dream house near the edge of town, by a river for Roy and big and eccentric for Daniel.” God snapped his fingers and two shiny gold skeleton keys appeared in their hands. “Those are your keys. It is literally impossible to lose them, as they will always find a way into your pockets when you change or what not. So enjoy. I’ll walk you out.”

God walked them to the front steps, and Danny noticed he heard a clicking sound as they walked across the marble floor. He looked down at God’s feet and realized it wasn’t his shoes, as he was barefoot. Danny was decked out in his black converse so it definitely wasn’t him. The sound was distinctive, and oddly familiar.

It was the final click before they hit the outdoors that made him realize it could only be one thing.

“Are you wearing heels?” Danny asked Roy incredulously. How had he not noticed that before?

God chuckled as he opened the large billowing doors for them.

“Like I said, you have more in common then you realize. Enjoy your time together. And for the last time Roy, this is not a prank!” God groaned.

“Thank you sir.” Danny said, and then hesitating. “Um, can I hug you?”

God snickered and brought Danny in for a squeeze.

“You are such a delight! Oh Roy you are in for a treat. Daniel, if you have any questions about anything please know that my doors are always open.” God said. “By the way Roy, since you are no longer the reaper, you won’t be able to read minds. You’ll have to learn about Daniel the old fashioned way. Anyway, I must go now, so farewell!”

Danny heard the doors close behind them and both men sighed in unison. Now Danny had to walk to his new home, where he would be spending eternity with someone who didn’t even want to be his soulmate.

They walked in silence back through the town square, lost in their thoughts and started towards the edge of town. Danny was admiring all of the scenery and people, some in regular clothes he noticed, others in the grecian gowns that he had seen when they first arrived. That was a good sign, he could wear whatever he desired.

“Which one do you think is ours?” Danny asked, as Roy’s heels clicked on the brick road. He never realized it, but Roy walked very elegantly; almost in a regal manner.

“I don’t know, I haven’t lived in a house in a very long time so I have no idea what we’re even looking for.” Roy shrugged.

“Where did you live as the reaper?”

“Remember Limbo?” Roy asked dryly.

“Ew you lived in that musty ass apartment?” Danny asked. He then clasped his hands over his mouth and looked around frantically. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to say that, I’m so sorry please don’t deport me!”

Roy cackled with laughter, his laugh so high pitched that Danny jumped; but then he laughed along with him in amusement. Roys laugh was very melodic, in a way that he hadn’t noticed before. It was actually pretty cute.

“You’re not going to get deported! Just don’t curse in front of God.”

Danny sighed in relief and realized they had reached the end of the road. He got a warm feeling in his stomach, as if he was close to home.

“There.” Roy breathed.

Nestled at the top of a small hill, was their house. It was an off white color, victorian style with a wrap around porch. There was bright pink trim around the roof, a porch swing and a blue mandala tapestry on one side of to shield the bright sun from reaching the patio. The door was painted a bright mustard yellow color, and the windows were all brand new, but still looked vintage enough to match the style of the house. Wildflowers surrounded it, in splashes of purple, orange, blue and red, and there was a field of sunflowers on one side of the house of all different colors. A river sparkled a few feet in front of it, with crystal clear water and what appeared to be a brand new wooden dock.

They were speechless, and didn’t even realize they had grabbed each other’s hands as they stared at their forever home.

“You know I don’t hate you right?” Roy finally said, rubbing his fingers over Danny’s hand. He was so warm, it was comforting. Very different than what Roy was used to.

“I know I’m not what you envisioned but at least give me a chance.” Danny snapped.

“Oh, no it’s not that. You are very attractive.” Roy stammered. “It’s just - I’ve been alone for so long, I don’t know how to do this whole soulmate thing yet. Just give me time please?”

Danny felt his cheeks warming up at the tender words. He hadn’t known him very long, but he could tell he wasn’t a very emotional person so it probably took a lot for him to say that.

“We have all the time in the world.” Danny murmured.

He knew Danny couldn’t see him, but he was losing himself in his green eyes. They were so bright and happy, he could stare into them for all eternity.

On the other hand, Danny felt himself drawing closer to Roy as he stared into the dark abyss underneath his hood trying to find the hint of his face. He didn’t know what it was, but he just wanted to be close to him in this moment. He put one arm around his shoulder and sort of side hugged him, throwing the other arm across his stomach.

Roy sighed into the touch and felt himself squeezing back. This felt like home, something he hadn’t known in a very long time.

They held each other for a few minutes as they gazed at the house, taking in the experience, and enjoying each other’s warmth.

What broke them out of their trance was a small meow and a shy bark.

The two men looked down, and Danny squealed in delight. A small golden chihuahua and an orange cat with black stripes had greeted them. The cat rubbed against Danny and meowed again, and the dog woofed at Roy as they stared incredulously at the ground.

“We have pets!” Danny exclaimed, picking up the cat with delight and holding it close.

“Hi Angel, aren’t you just the cutest.” Roy cooed to the small dog. Dogs were his weakness, and Danny giggled at the invulnerability that he was showing for the first time.

“That should be his name. Angel!” Danny grinned.

“How do you know it’s a boy?” Roy challenged.

Danny shrugged. “Dunno. Because you act macho, so I’d assume you’d end up with an equally as macho pet, so obviously it’d have to be a boy.”

Roy scoffed and picked up the dog flipping it over to see if it was a girl or a boy.

“Ugh, you’re right.” Roy groaned. Danny squealed and picked up his new cat.

“I’m gonna name you Halloween, Weenie for short.” Danny cuddled Weenie close to him and set the cat down on the ground. He untied his black converse and held them by the laces in one hand, as he felt the soft grass inbetween his toes for the first time. The air was fragrant with the scent of wildflowers, and he sighed as he looked at his new home from the top of the knoll one last time.

“Let’s go!” Danny exclaimed as he started running down the hill.

Roy watched the young man run and jump down the hill as the sun illuminated his pale skin. He had to admit, he was pretty cute in an innocent sort of way. He could feel himself start to grow fond of Danny, and how happy and positive of a person he was. He could tell that Danny was a hippie, enjoying every moment in nature that he could as he ran through the grass barefoot.

He sighed in relief as he realized he would no longer be escorting sick and confused humans and animals from earth to either heaven, hell, or limbo. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do with all of this free time that he now had. He didn’t know anything other than what he had been doing for the last part of the millenia.

How did God expect him to just fall in love with Danny like it was nothing? He was the complete opposite of everything he thought he’d have in a soulmate. Danny was rambunkshus, ditzy, and completely over the top. He had named his cat Weenie, for fucks sake.

Roy had been under the impression that he would be paired off with a man of sophistication.

But that would just be too easy, he thought.

He gazed down at his soulmate, who was stomping around the porch of their house, grinning and pointing at the front door excitedly to Halloween.

Roy had decided he refused to call the cat Weenie. Why name the cat a badass name like Halloween, and then ruin it with something as stupid as Weenie?

“Oh my god I love this!” Danny exclaimed, as he sat back on the porch swing, kicking his bare feet up excitedly.

“Maybe this won’t be so bad Angel.” Roy smiled and picked up his new dog, following after Danny

#c*nt #life and death #biadore #bianca del rio #adore delano #au #rpdr fanfiction #submission #m/m au

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