can't even look at myself

Phoenix: From Ashes Smoldering | Chapter 6 – The Heart of Thy Soul | A Hellsing Fanfic

Faced with Zorin’s illusions, Seras continues undeterred on her quest to find her lost Master.

Words: 10,936

Trigger warning: Blood, extreme gore, eye trauma, dismemberment, foul language, major character death

Full Chapter Here

Stopping at a window, Seras peered out in confusion. Something had begun to push itself up from the field, she realized, a thing which at first would seem shapeless in appearance, gelatinous, and she originally thought that all she had come to witness was a curiously colored fog. And yet, when thick purple fingers — roiling beneath their murky surface — curved around the hillside, the back of Seras’s mind noted the halting of gunfire; with their silence, a series of stringing incantations echoed in their place.

Seras’s mouth gaped at the figure which lifted a head the size of the moon, connected to an even larger torso just finished pulling itself together.

“Holy shit!” somebody yelled, and the Geese started to scramble back from their rifles while the shadow of the colossus darkened the manor’s walls.

“Is this just me, or have you guys lost your fucking minds too?”

“What the hell is that thing?!”

A person, Seras thought. A massive person with gleaming red eyes set into an uneven face and battle-hardened skin which shone like granite. Millennium’s soldiers skittered from the trees, around those pillar-like legs, and the giant’s head shifted seemingly to look right at Seras. But no, she thought. This wasn’t right. That face, something about it strained her eyes, made her brain start pounding behind her forehead.

“Sitrep!” Pip barked into the microphone, unable to conceal his own voice’s cracking. “Talk to me…! Goddammit, someone tell me what ze ‘ell is going on!”

Dropping his speaker, Pip’s chair went skidding back and crashed against the wall with a loud rap as he threw the door open.

“What are you doing? Seras, boys, resume fire now—!”

Pip suddenly froze when he spotted the immense red eye and fanged smirk still leering at them through a window. “Mon Dieu…” he whispered, and his words trembled in place for a moment behind sweating lips. “Sir Integra never told me zey could do… z-zis…!”

As if able to hear him, the giant leaned in closer until that eye seemed to take up the entire corridor of windows — so maniacal, that gaze, so eager to begin the show. Pip’s back bumped into the wall, and his hand flew for his gun. The eye blinked before he could move to aim however, and he hesitated when it at last backed away.

Seras shot Pip a questioning stare. Was that it? Had that really been all these freaks had come here to do, scare them until most of them had surely soiled themselves?

No, Seras told herself, it couldn’t be. Not after everything they had tried to do before this point. There was something else, there had to be—

Pip opened his mouth.

“Oh my God!”

Warm Bodies AU: NaLu

Tagging: @lovelyluce @magnolia726 @p-r-i-d-e007 @petri808 @shadows-music-and-more @trollka21 @ravenstyx @shicca-no-aoneko-blog @nitroflame95 @etherealuce @lindzeee @agnes-neko-shipper@carmenalcazarc @michiamotippete @zoetjessweets @th-th-th-thats-all-folks @mwub

Chapter 1: After The End

N shuffled down the street following the same route he did everyday. It was the same thing everyday. He didn’t know why he always took the same route, maybe it was framiliar? 

He made his way to a large wooden building. N always ended up at the same building. He pushed open the large wooden doors and saw the same corpses that were always there. Nodding a hello he made his way to the bar were a dark haired corpse sat. 

N sat a couple seats down next to a female corpse with long brown hair that was clutching a barrel to her chest.

“Nnnnnn,”  she grunted.

N grunted back before looking over at the black haired corpse. The male was looking at him and rolled his eyes. N staggered to his feet and made his way over to the other corpse that had also gotten up from his stool. The corpse grabbed n by his collar as they butted heads as well as their stiffened bodies would let them. 

“Nnn!” the black haired corpse growled.

“Grrrr!” N groaned back, calling the corpse by what they thought was his name. 

The two of them stood there wobbling like they were about to start a fight. Another giant corpse with white hair came over and knocked the two of them over with one massive hand.

They staggered back to their feet and faced the larger corpse. 

“En-n-ough!” a red haired female attempted to shout as she made her way to them. Gr and N stopped what they were doing a put an arm around each other’s shoulders. The red haired corpse ‘Z’ as they all called her nodded in approval before turning away. 

A female corpse with long white hair walked out of the back room followed by another with short white hair. “H-hungry,” she stated. This drew the attention of every corpse in the building. 

Gr and N exchanged looks before N said. “Hunt,” and they all began to shuffle out of the building.

%%%%% Lucy looked out at the ruined landscape as she rode shotgun in the jeep her group was using for patrol. 

“Lucy?” the driver repeated, pulling her from her thoughts.

“What, Dan?” Lucy sighed as she turned to face him.

“I was just saying that maybe we should get married sooner rather than later,” he said giving her a big smile. 

“And what makes you think I want to marry you?” Lucy asked.

“Well...since the world has ended... we have a duty to keep the human race alive,” Dan replied as he reached over and tried to hold her hand. 

“Excuse me! I’m going to have to pass,” she said with disgust as she turned back to the window. 

“Really, Lucy, you don’t have to be so difficult..” Dan started but was interrupted by one of the other passenger in the vehicle.

“Oh, look! We’re here!” Loke said leaning forward.

Dan pulled the vehicle to a stop and got out. 

Lucy turned into her seat to look at her orange hair friend and gave him a smile. “Thanks, Loke.”

“No problem, besides, everyone know that if you marry anyone its going to be me,” he grinned. 

“Keep dreaming, Play Boy,” Lucy laughed as she stepped out of the jeep. 

Loke chuckled as he got out of the jeep and joined the rest of their party infront of the building they parked in front of. 

“Alright, in and out, stay together and gather as many supplies as you can,” Dan ordered as he made his way to the door. 

Lucy went to the back of the Jeep with her friend Virgo and pulled out a bunch of bags to hand out. 

“These runs always give me the creeps,” Aries said as she looked fearfully at the tall building. 

“Just stick together and we will be fine,” Virgo reassured her. 

The group made their way into the building making sure to check all the rooms. Finally, after about 15 minutes, they found a storage room that hadn’t been raided yet. 

“Jackpot!” one of the other people in their group cheered.

“Quite,” Loke hissed as he held his firearm at the ready.

“Common, let’s hurry,” Lucy said as she lead the others towards the shelves.The started loading the bags while Loke, Dan, and a few other stood guard. Lucy was busy looking through some medicine when she noticed Aries had froze. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I think I heard something,” Aries whimpered.

“Nonsense, it is probably just your imagination. Let’s hurry and get this stuff back to town,” Dan scoffed.

They all continued to stuff their bags full of supplies when a scraping sound came from outside the door.

“Ok, we all heard that,” Virgo said right before the door on the otherside of the room burst open and corpses started filing in. 

“Back to the trucks!” Loke shouted before opening fire.

Lucy grabbed her bags and darted around a shelf, grabbing Aries hand as she made for the door with Virgo right behind them. 

“Ahhh!” Virgo cried out and Lucy turned around. 

Lucy spun around to see a corpse had grabbed her friend’s shirt and was attempting to make a meal out of her. 

“Virgo!” Lucy cried out. She saw a shot gun laying on the floor where one of their comrades had dropped it. “Head to the Jeep!” she told Aries as she picked up the weapon. She hefted the gun to her shoulder and carefully took aim before pulling the trigger. The corpse dropped as it’s head exploded and Virgo ran past her to join Aries. That was when Lucy saw Loke struggling with a pink haired male corpse. She didn’t hesitate as she shot again, hitting the corpse in the shoulder and giving Loke a chance to get away. 

The blast spun the corpse her way and it froze as she pulled the trigger again. The clicking sound from the gun made Lucy’s heart drop as the pink haired corpse started to walk towards her. 

“Lucy!” Dan yelled as he vaulted over a counter and ran into the corpse, but the corpse grabbed a hold of Dan and slammed him into the floor. Lucy spun around and made for the door only to find it blocked by two more corpses. She stopped and backed up as they advanced on her.

“Lucy!” Loke called from the doorway before taking aim and shooting the two advancing corpses. 

Lucy smiled and stepped forward only to feel a tight grip grab her arm. She found herself being dragged between a couple of shelves as more corpses headed towards Loke, blocking him from her sight. “No, Lucy!” Loke cried out before the sound of gunshots filled the room once more. 

Lucy turned to come face to face with the pink haired corpse. Her breath caught in her throat, he was so close, his nose inches from her own as he sniffed. She didn’t dare to breathe and just stood there holding his vacant gaze. His dark green eyes were glazed over but they seemed to have a spark of curiosity. 

The gunshots got more distant as Lucy heard engines start outside. She could still hear the groans of corpses in the room as she let out the shaky breath she was holding. The pink haired corpse blinked and looked around the end of the shelf before turning back to Lucy. Slowly he brought a finger to his lips and made a small ‘shushing’ noise.

Lucy froze, the action had caught her completely of guard. Then the corpse reached to his shoulder, smearing blood all over his hand before wiping it on Lucy’s neck and chest. She gagged as she fought back the bile rising in her thoat.

The corpse then pulled on her shirt motioning for her to follow him. Lucy was so shocked that she didn’t even think twice before she followed the curious corpse out of the room.

%%%%%

N had been walking with a large group of corpses for a while. There was more than just his group in the mob as they turned down the next street. A delicious scent wafted through the air as they turned the corner. It was coming from a building across the street. 

N found a back door and with Gr’s help they pried it  open.Slowly they all filed inside, following the smell that got stronger the farther they walked into the building. It wasn’t long before they could hear the voices of the living. N and a couple others burst through a door, startling the living humans inside. One of the living rushed them hitting N with the but of his gun and knocking him down. Screams, groaning and gunfired filled the room as N got back to his feet. 

He rushed an orange haired soldier, grabbing his gun and trying to pull him to the floor. There was a loud shot as N was blown back. He turned to see who had shot him when the flash of gold and a pair of brown eyes had him freezing in place. Warm brown eyes looked at him down the barrel of a shotgun and yet he couldn’t move. N was mesmerized by the beautiful golden hair that haloed the angel that stood before him. 

A frightened look crossed her face as a clicking sound came from the gun in her hands. N stepped forward, pulled by something he had never known.

“Lucy!” a voice yelled before another of the living slammed into him. N grabbed the man and started slamming him into the ground over and over until the man lay still. 

He turned back to where the angel had stood to see her facing to corpses he had never seen. Her companions called out as they shot the corpses advancing on her. N pulled her behind the nearest shelf and away from the others. She was so close he could see the bits of gold in her eyes, and she smelled so good as he leaned in closer. The woman had frozen as N heard the other living start the engines outside. The groaning of his own brought him back from his thoughts as he realized he could stop the others from harming her. 

Thinking fast, N tried to tell her to be quite as he smeared his own blood over the pulse points on her neck and over her heart. Quietly, he pulled on her shirt so she would follow him out of the building. He had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was that he had to keep her safe.

I hope you like it! If I get enough likes I will do a second chapter!

***massive general trigger warning***

I can't seem to add a read more so this is your last warning if you're triggered by: mentions of parents, abuse, neglect, self-harm, or suicide mentions, fucking scroll, scroll, scroll.

there's such a... disconnect between how my parents treat(ed) me vs how they treat the world. my mum worked in a children's unit and the kids there loved her, david is a clinical support nurse who loves helping out others and is a brilliant host. like... people always say "you're so hospitable like your dad", "you always want to help people just like your dad", "you have a heart of gold just like your dad". I'm not like him. I'm convenient for other people. where david would turn a rude guest out of his home, I'd push through it and pray they leave soon, where he'd tell someone to wait until he finishes x,y,z to help them, I'd drop everything I'm doing and rush over even if it's to my detriment, and where he'd lend money to someone only if he had it and would expect to be paid back, I have literally gave the last of my money to someone and told them that they didn't have to bother about repaying it.

and this isn't me harping on about my good traits, bc they're not good traits. they're the traits of a coward who can't allow people to feel disappointed. maybe I do get some of those traits from that... sperm donor... but the last piece of the puzzle I'm missing that won't allow these traits go haywire is assertiveness.

and he and my mum is always saying like - "your dad would walk through fire for you" or "he gave you x amount of money this time and he would do it again". and it makes me feel like shit. because what if I am blowing things out of proportion? but I just can't ignore the fact that I flinch involuntarily when he quickly and unexpectedly enters a room, or the fact that he hasn't talked to me in a month, or that he chased me through the house to beat the shit out of me and didn't stop until my mum dragged him off, or the fact that after all of that happened I dry heaved for 20 minutes, or that he strangled me on the landing, denied it when I brought this up when I was forced to talk with him about why he scares me (thanks mum that was the worst idea you've ever had - not to mention on a tangent that during this talk after I was promised that 1. I would have a couple of days warning beforehand so I could prepare myself and then I was just dragged downstairs unexpectedly and 2. I was allowed to leave any time I wanted and when I did that my mum chased me upstairs and yelled at me for being too political (???) and that was the reason the family has an issue with me and then david chased me through the house again and everyone got angry that I escaped through the back because he was blocking the front door and refused to move when I begged him to).

I find it so difficult to reconcile the image of david's public persona and the one I know. and it hurts that everyone in my family is more eager for me to finally leave the house so they can get back to normal instead of actually realizing what he's done to me. the fact that I've started to have vivid nightmares, where sometimes he's the antagonist, or that i tense/panic/chest constricts every time I hear him move around the house, or that he hasn't talked to me, or that the rest of my family go out for lunches and dinners and fun places all the time now when they never did before and they don't tell me whilst I'm in the house, or that my destructive behaviours have upticked along with me following through my impulsive thoughts more often (e.g. cutting a bug bite with a razor and scratching it knowing full well it'll leave a nasty welt, or shaving only one leg, or the time I kept holding my palm over a flame, or burning the end of a safety pin and pressing it against my skin, or shoving safety pins through my ears even after they get all oozey and sore, or trying to pierce my nose with a safety pin and then trying my eyebrow when that didn't work, or getting piss drunk and falling asleep in a field, or starting smoking, or trying drugs after being completely clean my whole life, etc., and this is the past month all of those things occurred).

idk I'm just in a state of going in between "well your whole family seems to like david more than you so maybe you ARE the problem" vs "I really fucking hate david and I want him to get hurt" vs "well I'm a really shitty human being wanting my own father dead".

and like. I'm not suicidal, but I found myself in the middle of writing a note a week ago. not because I wanted to use it, but... just in case. I wanted to write out everything I wanted to say to them in the harshest way possible pretending that if they were to see it, they'd maybe understand. you know? like I feel like... I don't want to die, but the only way they'd understand exactly what they've done is if they were reading my note.

sorry this was a lot, I just have a lot on my mind and don't want to burden one specific person with it.

fin.

Only Have Eyes For You - Pt.2 [G.D]

SUMMARY: His dads insane, his mothers a disheartened wreck, his brother is a major junkie, and his bad boy facade is driving him mad. All the girls desire the secretive boy, but he only has eyes for her.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: sorry a lot of depressing shit and smut I guess. possible triggers? also this is my first fanfic so get ready for some punctuation mistakes!

[Y/n’s POV]

I checked the clock that was plastered to the front of the class and above Mr.White's desk.

It read '8:30pm'.

Thank god detention was almost over. All these years of being in the education system, and I've never been in this room once. It was definitely more foul-smelling then I had imagined. There was so much hype about how exhilarating detention was, how the people here were always fun to mess around with. I thought at least Maverick would be hear, since he's usually here alongside Dolan. He always winks at me when I pass him on my way to 2nd period.

Maverick Duval, the very attractive, super tough guy, that happens to be the captain of the football team, and has his very own cool kid posse, like guys like him do in the movies. No one would dare touch him, unless you wanted your legs to be seen crawling back to the other half of your body; no one except stupid head over there in the corner, and his even more stupid brother, Ethan Dolan, AKA; ex captain of the football team and might I add, the biggest badass known to man, no one messes with him either. Everyone says Ethan takes after his dad, Randy.

I don't talk to E, nor have I seen his dad, so I'm not gonna make any assumptions. Maverick and the twins are always at each other's throats. I kinda wanted to see how they'd all be locked in a room with one another for 5 hours. I'd bet one of them would have had the others heads by now.

There's no one in here but Mr. Mysterious and my groggy colleague. It was kind of a let down.

Definitely no breakfast club.

Rachel fell asleep around 2 hours ago and was currently lying on the collection of drool forming on my desk. Grayson has been humming non stop looking like he was having the time of his life, sitting there in his seat tapping his two fingers over top the table over and over again. Countless songs by Weezer, Arctic Monkeys and surprisingly, New Kids on the Block were heard coming from his mouth.

I'd never thought he'd be the type to listen to New Kids on the Block.

Like ever.

[Grayson's POV]

God I hate when Mr.Whites late. The clock at the front of the class read '9:28pm'. The guy was a track star back in the 90's, and now, he's slow as fuck. I guess when Ethan whipped a shot put ball at him in 7th grade, he really messed the hell out of his knee. He was a cripple for the rest of that year, resulting in him accumulating a massive hatred for us Dolan’s, getting pent up inside him ever since.

Rachel and y/n were presently passed out beside one another, no doubt getting over their major hangovers. Mr. White better hurry the fuck up, or the past will soon replay itself. I was scared.

I had seemed to subconsciously shed a tear, "Shit." I say under my breath, knowing that y/n was only sleeping lighting. I pat the tear away with the sleeve of my red sweater. I was really scared.

Scared of what they would think of me when I coward in the corner whilst my dad comes bashing through the class room doors, asking why the hell I wasn't out yet. 'You're wasting my fucking time.' I bet he'd say, while gripping me around my neck as tight as he could, most liking turning my face a disturbing shade of blue. He's traumatized the fuck outta me ever since I was a kid. He had some brutal strength, and doesn't hesitate to hurt me in front of my friends. I don't know why'd he hesitate around girls, it would just show them how much of a pussy I really am.

He's not my dad though, he's my step dad. You know, one of those stereotypical step parents you see on TV, that you would think to have had some time in prison by now. I'm really, not exaggerating. My mom met him at a strip club, shortly after my dad died in a freak car accident when I was 4. He probably won her over by buying her a drink or complimenting her figure or some stupid shit like that.

She was so stupid, worst mistake of her life. Me and Ethan despised him the first day we met the guy; the way he would drunkenly stagger my mom to the doorway after a long night at who knows were. The way he would make these disgusting remarks about my mom, that she would just brush off later like it was nothing. The way he touched me and Ethan. It started out small first, but now hitting us is in his daily routine. She was so utterly depressed and desperate and needed a distraction from the pain, I guess that distraction was my dick head dad.

I don't like calling him dad.

[Y/n's POV]

I awoke with a loud bang coming from the opposite side of the door. I was dazed and confused, since the last thing I remember was staring at the clock, making sure I didn't end up catching any z's, but clearly I was out cold.

Oh shit the clock. 9:36pm I read, after rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Grayson was awake, and he looked petrified. Another bang struck the door, and it reverberated throughout the room.

I gazed over at Grayson, and with every thump, his eyes closed tight, and his body shook in terror. A man's deep voice was heard from the flip-side of the door, and quite frankly, it didn't sound pleasant. "Grayson!" The man yelled. Grayson looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were drenched.

"Y/n what's going on?!" Rachel said, wide eyed. She awoke from her sleep clearly as confused and scared as I was. Her knees curled up to her chin. "Is Mr.White trying to get in?!"

I peered over at Grayson and found myself staring at what looked to be the body of a petrified 5 year old, cowardly shielding himself with his hands. I've never seen him like this, it was scary.

He looked back at me, he was breathing heavily. Rachel was too busy worrying about who was at the door rather than to notice Grayson.

"Gray! Are you in there? Let me in!" The man's voice boomed behind the closed door. Grayson immediately unwrapped his arms from his legs, and quickly wiped away the tears falling from his puffy, red eyes. He staggered his way up to the door sniffling and occasionally dabbing his nose with the back of his wet hand. He twisted the handle, and behind the door, was no other then his quit pale looking twin. I let out a sigh of relief.

Ethan rushed in the room, "What the hell? You were supposed to be out of this place 45 minutes ago! I was worried dude." He raised his hands up over his figure, leaned forward and shook his head. "Your fucking lucky dad didn't-" he paused and slapped his hands down to his sides. "Who's the pretty lady?" He asked pointing in my direction. "I've been in here how many times? And I haven't seen your gorgeous face once." He smiled and rested his thumbs in the loops of his jeans.

Grayson looked my way and rolled his eyes. "The 'pretty lady' has a name E." He cleared his throat. "And that is?" Ethan said, licking his lips. He turned his head so his ear was all I could see. I reply to his question with my name and cross my arms. I look over to see Rachel with raised eyebrows and a lollipop she probably found at the bottom of her bag, wedged in between her lips.

"Wow nice to see you too Ethan. Nothing to say about my pretty face?" She said walking closer. Ethan looked down and smiled. He let out a scoff. "Hi Rachel. I've seen you enough times to know that your face is pretty." He laughed, and she copied. Ethan looked back my way after the chuckles stopped and the silence in the room got bigger. "Well y/n, it was nice to meet you, but me and Gray gotta head out. And you guys should too, it's getting dark out there." He jerked his head to the door.

We all jumped when Mr.White came crashing in to the room. He had a briefcase in hand and colourful papers were flying out of it everywhere. He let out a loud sigh and rubbed his eyebrows together. "Sorry, the traffic was insane." We all stood there waiting on someone to say something. "Well?" His Eyes darted between the each of us. "You can go know!" He waved his hand towards the door and chuckled.

I didn't hesitate to move my feet towards the exit fast, I had no idea what had just went down. Rachel quickly speed up to get beside me. "Bye guys! See you next time." She yelled looking back. I heard two faint 'good byes' in the distance, and half of a witty remark made by one of the brothers, but I didn't stop to find out what the rest was, I was just happy to be out of that contested room.

We made it to the parking lot and unlocked Rachel's burgundy Mercedes. I was thinking about asking her about Grayson's little episode that happened earlier, but I assumed she didn't see it since she definitely would have questioned me about it all ready. I'll just keep it to myself.

[Grayson's POV]

'Shit.' I thought. "Shit." I said. Ethan turned his head and questioned me. "What?" He turned the sharp corner slowly in my Ford Bronco. Our stupid old man crashed Ethan's car last week, so I let him use my ride.

"Ah, nothing." I said looking over my shoulder and out the window. It wasn't actually nothing. Ethan took a hand off the wheel, grabbed my face, and jerked my head left so it was facing him. He squinted his eyes and stared at me hard. He slammed the breaks and grunted.

"Dude what the hell?!" I said bracing myself with the side of my door. "Why are your eyes red and swollen." He said sternly and monotone. He wouldn't break the gaze between us until I spoke up. "You were crying, weren't you." He took in a sharp breath. "You were fucking crying!" He banged his hands against the wheel. "Ethan." I gulped.

He whipped his head back and rested it on the back of his seat. "Grayson who saw." He clenched his eyes shut. This is what I was afraid of. How did he always know what I was thinking when I haven't even said anything yet? "Only Y/n." I hesitated. "Only y/n? You mean the girl you just met and know nothing about?" He gave me a shocked and disappointed look. "Shit Gray, she could end up telling the whole school!"

I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth. "What? What happens if people find out? Am I not aloud to be scared?! You were fucking banging on the door like a maniac!" I snapped. "I thought you were dad." A single tear slipped from my eye. He looked at me with sympathy. "Grayson. I just don't want anything to happen to you. You know Maverick and his goons are friggin insane." He paused and shook his head. "They'll start a fight with you about anything and everything." I nodded my head in agreement, well knowing his statement was very true. "I just want to cry like a normal person." I said low, not breaking contact with the dark road ahead of us.

The car was unbearably silent for a few minutes after that. "Gray?" He broke the awkwardness. I hummed softly, signalling he could ask his question. "Can you stay with Y/n?" He shot me a look then quickly shifted his eyes back to the road. I was confused. "Do what?" He sighed, "Gray, if you don't stay with her for the next couple of days, she might as-well think telling the whole school about your little incident is the given thing to do."

I rolled my eyes. He was right, I didn't know this girl. I had no idea what her intentions might be. Who knows what she might do with the information. I nodded my head. "Gray, I just-" he stuttered. "You just don't want me to get hurt." I finished his sentence. I watched as he rested his cheek in his hand. "C'mon, it won't be that hard." He made sure to emphasized the 'that'. He shot me a grin.

"What do you mean?" I responded. "I mean, you were looking at that girl like she was your dinner."

"Was not."

"Was too." He shot back, lightly punching me in my arm. I guess I was, Y/n was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. I've kinda had a thing for her since 5th grade. I want to get to know her.

Combat knowledge and airsoft.

A lot of people have been asking ma about what is airsoft and where Ive gotten my combat knowledge... Read below the cut! Its kinda long. 

Alright as many or you have learned I love a sport called airsoft. Its like paintball but more realistic. Its a combat simulation sport. Real looking guns and real tactics. All the guns shoot are little BBs. I myself am a support gunner. Meaning I carry a big ass gun. My BAR, MG36 or mainly my RPK These are classified as light machine guns. I carry lots of ammo for myself mainly and quite a bit of gear sometimes. I specialize in heavy fire and area coverage. I point my gun and pull the trigger. Laying down a large amount of BBs into one area. I like this job because its easy and I can stand in the middle of the group. When things go down everyone dives for cover. Not me, I point and rack up the “kills” (Ill be saying kills but they are a stand point kinda thing. I dont kill anyone but in the game if you are hit by a BB then you are dead as far as the game goes. More to come) Sometimes I does result in me being killed but thats the fun of it. A medic will come over and patch me up. Whether its applying a fake tourniquet or placing hands on me for 30 seconds im back up and shooting again. In the Games I go to sometimes full auto, continuous fire, is restricted to the support gunner class. So I normally lug around my RPK which is like 15 pounds and a spare drum magazine and two regular magazines. Bringing my total ammo count to 7,600 BBs. Thats a LOT most normal guns like an M4 only holds 30-148 BBs and consequently I produce a lot of noise when walking. A lot of rattling. But it is really fun. Ive met a lot of really cool people. I go to milsim events or “Military Simulation events” Sometimes I have to carry a lot more equipment for my class. The 7600 bbs I was talking about. I normally sport 4600 at any given time at any game. I play indoor and out door. But I use my PPSH for indoor due to semi auto, single fire, restrictions. Its all great fun. At the Milsim events I normally get chosen for special teams since ive been playing since 2008. The special teams sometimes get some training by special guests or by the squad leaders. I always go to events with friends who have more experience then me and im always the support gunner for them. So I learn many new things. I am also asked to the their support gunner due to my luck, or lack of luck... I am known as a Grenade magnet. (The grenades either make a big pop/bang or shoot bbs and make the big bang all are gas powered CO2) Ive had grenades thrown at me and they always seem to hit me before going off. Like the actual grenade itself hits my chest or leg and then goes off and showers me in bbs. One time, one went off, literally. right in my face that was fun. Didnt hurt cuz of my protection but it was still pretty cool. Then there are things called Tag grenades. They explode in a power cloud to tag a vehicle thats been hit. That was the only time I got hurt playing airsoft. It hit me in my side didnt go off but it felt like a good solid punch. I just kinda laid on the ground for a bit while a massive battle raged on, I was the only person in the town to fully die in the battle. I bleed out in the game standards. I was in the middle of the open yelling at some civilians (Milsims have many fractions one including a civilian fraction that is sometimes hostel) I was busy talking to them so I didnt notice a green truck (ours) rolled up a few yards behind me and a tan truck (enemy) tried to take it out and missed, hitting me. So I bled out after 5 min and walked like 10 yards to the respawn in the hospital and sat up there and drank a bunch of water and ate food. Thats just one of many stories I have. Have some photos!

Me with my RPK and a 44 revolver. I have a holster and a backpack with some repair tools and food and bbs and water thats all I had. and the red rag is my “Dead Rag” to show I have been hit in the game and are bleeding out. The fanny pack had more bbs. 

This here is a 2.5 tonne truck stuck in a river bed. On the other side in the town, is where I was hit the fallowing year by the tag round. We went down the wrong path and well... he got stuck trying to turn around. Luckily they brought two of these and with the help of a bobcat they dug out the river bank and pulled out out by that tree across the river bed

This is me, 4 or so years ago mind you, in my tent at a milsim. It was hot as hell and this was on the final day when my parents came to get me. My dog came to my rescue haha. But yeah that area you see is about all the room I had. I over packed for this one. Some milsims let you sleep in your tent and others make you carry all your gear onto the play field and sleep in the ruff as it were. 

Here is my buddy Zach testing out, back then, a new grenade. The “Thunder B” it makes a really loud bang. I have a video of this somewhere... But yeah. It took us a while to figure these out. We are in a back yard in this pic XD

Indoor games. When put in like a small office space with 20 other people and 5-6 enemies coming for you, “Swat” gets real wild. I love my revolvers XD  But yeah. This was my favorite mode. There were 7 rooms all like bedroom sized with 2 larger rooms. The swat team would have to take out all the bad guys. I was on the swat team several times and it was always nerve racking cuz we only had one medic while the badies could heal whoever. 

This is over 100 pounds of gear I carried up a mountain. Aptly named “Fuck Mountain” It was THE WORST airsoft milsim ive been to. Not because I nearly had a heart attack climbing the mountain and walking 2 miles with all of this but because when we set up... I was sat at a wall with my “Ammo Bitch” as I called him and we sat there for 5 hours... My ammo bitch was my buddy jared. Its a refernce to Dragon Ball z abridged by team 4 star.  “Im Max, and this is Jared, He was an Ammo Bitch...” 

With play sometimes comes injury! These are some of the injuries ive gotten while playing airsoft. My buddy lost a tooth because someone got way too close... 

This ones hard to tell but that is my thigh and those red bots are from an airsoft 40mm grenade. Its a tube loaded grenade and its basically a massive shotgun. I failed to realized after 2 days the shell might be pressurized still... Matrix makes some good stuff... 

Saving Private Brian! And finally we have Brian. He, by far, is my favorite photographer ive met at these events. Hes a really cool dude and he takes a lot of photos and lets me use them and stuff. The first and second photos were both taken by him.  I added this pic because there are lots of shenanigans that go on.  If you have any questions feel free to ask ^^

Reboot - Part 4: ACTIVATED

A simple breeze over the trees, a cold but clear night, and a villain base rising through the forest like a knife through skin. A steel-spire, likely assembled using some combination of quirks, was only illuminated by a handful of spotlights and a few blinking diodes running up the side of the base itself. Guards walked along the outer wall or on the surrounding grounds, armed with off-brand support weapons or their own variety of quirks. In hindsight, calling it a “villain base” was a bit of an undersell. It was a fortress. A monument to some evil ambition.

And they were here to dismantle it.

A young woman put her hands together.

“Wideband Jam – 40 KM.” She said, a faint static hum pulsed through the air before growing silent again. She nodded at the other young heroes among her, and they moved out.

East Wall.

A guard looks past the trees, bored, a little tired, and drifts his gaze back towards the wall. A search light flickers for a moment but that’s nothing to worry about. He looks across at the other guards, focused and ready, before rolling his eyes and tilting his head back towards the trees.

CLUNK! CLINK CLING CLINK CLINK!

His head snapped back towards the guards, one of them with a clump of shiny rectangular rocks around his head. The other raising his weapon and pointing towards the tree line.

“Call-“ He managed say before a similar clump formed around his head. The now very awake guard turned to leap off the wall, clutching his radio, but watched the world go dark, his head encased and breath quic kly growing shallow. As he faded, he felt the rocks shift.

It felt like they were smiling.

North Wall.

Guards along the main grounds rush towards another on the ground, fallen backwards off the wall.

“I-I’m fine I just got really hot and lightheaded-,” he said before sneezing on the guard helping him.

“IDIOT! You have a cold; you’ve been on too much night duh-duh-duuuh CHU!” He said through a sneeze.

He watched as the other guards started stumbling, sweating heavily. Many began sneezing and coughing, some vomiting where they stood before falling over in a heap. He raised a fist dripping black oil toward the wall, just in time to watch a net descend on them all and a faint girl’s voice say “sorry.”

West Wall.

“I can’t reach anyone from the East or North end of the perimeter. We need to sound the-“ Her body was yanked towards the outer wall, and soon pinned against it. Any metal on them or loose on the grounds was yanked out and pulled towards the wall, clumping more and more guards against it, a notably pompous laugh rising through the trees.

South Wall was where the fun began.

A burning flash from the tree line and simmering white smoke filling the perimeter. Getting harder to breath, the guards stumble to group up on each other. One runs through the smoke to try and fall back towards the main base itself. A swipe of a toothy tentacle in the smoke, something green leaping down and kicking an ally, glowsticks and music echoing from all around among the shouting, fighting, and screaming. More bright flashes, like from a massive flood light and the sound of some sort of rocket overhead.

He stumbled, sliding across something so smoothly as if the ground weren’t even there and ran into something hard and fleshy. His gazed up at the form up and stopped on a set of gleaming shark teeth glaring at him from behind a clear oxygen mask. He raised his arms as a fist comes crashing down.

A handful of guards ran down a hallway and before turning and aiming their weapons. A slow one stumbled around a corner and can barely shout “RUN!” before a wave of water surges around the corner and rushes down the hall. A main production floor of some kind quickly floods, guards helping drag each other up to walkways as the figure producing the wave skims along the top of it, circling the room.

A guard inhales and jumps out from cover, arm covered in thorns aimed down at the surfing young hero. He felt something sharp pierce his hand and came face-to-face with a red glow of a pair of triangular pupils. His memory falters as more pistol-fired darts enter his arm and foot, expert close quarters shots. She kicks him over a railing and into the water, her gaze following him down before looking out over the walkways, fights breaking out across them.

A golden fist connecting with some poor guard’s face, a human spinning top pinging between the railings, a wrestler punching the walkway and having the metal roll like a wave, knocking more guards into the water below.

A boy in a blue coat finished handcuffing a guard to a railing, his third eye scanning the guard before joining alongside Akira, his eye meeting her red, triangular pupils.

“Miss Step,” He said to Akira, his voice low and steady, “We are on-schedule, they had no idea we would be arrive here and no plan for us. The upper floors have the better armed guards, as we expected, but the rest of the floors in-between are likely empty. Your thoughts?”

“We stick to what we planned Loresight, like Palm-Sensei said. He didn’t want us here but between the rest of the war going on out there and the lack of support they gave him, he needs us. But we stick to his wishes-“

A larger villain fell from the upper walkways and landed, his bulging muscular torso bending the metal bar of a railing. The two responded to the loud noise but entering a combat stance before relaxing as a green mohawked boy leapt off the crumpled villain’s back.

“Dammit Guts! Your quirk makes you fearless, not reckless” Akira shouted, jabbing her finger hard in Daitan’s chest. “I want everyone to come back in one piece, no unnecessary risks!”

“Well sorry AKIRA! I didn’t mean to interrupt your boring conversation with MINATO! Seriously this codename shit is old, we’re not just fighting random thugs on the street! This is real shit!”

“And that’s why we have to do this right!” She shot back as space in nearby wall tore itself open.

A short, cloaked girl stumbled out, alongside another girl with x-ray skin and one no taller than a figurine. The figurine sized girl returned to normal size and to help balance the smaller one, despite her own shakiness. They were all breathing heavily.

“We…we got Palm-sensei and the upper classmen where they need to go,’ Rei said, still trying to catch her breath. It’s pretty crowded up there, the hardiest we’ve ever had sneaking around. But we got them. Now we just need t-to hold things down here.”

An explosion roars from outside. The radios crackle to life.

“Yah sounds fucking easy,” Daitan said, a massive smile spreading across his face as they begin running back to the main grounds. “Let’s hope Palm-sensei takes his time!”

A bright red beam burns itself through the combat lab’s center floor, leaving long craters of molten metal, steam rising from them. Aura Palm stands behind a pillar, sword in hand, and looks across the smoking crater to Douser, his fire helmet visor cracked. He body begins to slouch down his pillar, a trail of blood staining it.

“S-Sorry Palm-sensei,” the upper classmen said, exhaustion filling in my voice. “It sort of looks like a tank but this thing’s engine must be electric…a-at least now we know its beam doesn’t burn hot enough to c-cauterize wounds. P-Pass me another one of those guns, will you?”

Aura Palm cursed and tossed the rifle over. Douser unloaded the magazine and placed it next to a few others and a fire extinguisher, firing the remaining bullet in the chamber at the strange tank to keep its attention. Another beam tore into the floor. This time it scorched the back wall. He taped the magazine to another set of magazines.

Gunfire and shouting echoed away from them, Ziggurat hunkered down and bracing shots, her zigzag mesh of skin and metal more metal than either man had ever seen. Treadnautica stood behind her, carrying a bleeding Blow-Hearty and holding the rear.

“Treadnautica, get yourself and Blow-Hearty out of here! I can cover you!”

“Like hell I’m leaving ya alone!” Treadnautica shouted back. She stomped on a guard and threw her tread into reverse. The man was sent flying out into the legs of a squad just coming up the stairs and they tumbled down, crashing through tables and chemistry equipment.

“Yeeeaa, we’re with you Zig…” Blow-Hearty said, letting out a ragged cough. “Just need to catch my breath.”

The two girls let out bitter laughs, even as the gunfire hitting Ziggurat intensified. The two upper classmen were good and one of them was nearly bulletproof through quirk alone. But if that laser-mounted tank turned on them…

Douser took a deep breath, stuffing the magazines into his coat pockets.

“You ready Palm-sensei?”

“Send it, Douser.” He said with a nod, his fist shaking with glowing redish-purple aura.

Douser nodded and the two rounded their pillars. He tossed the extinguisher into the air, the tank taking aim as Aura Palm blasted. The extinguisher burst in a cool plume of mist just as the tank fired, its long slow burning path changed abruptly into a z-pattern, reducing the pillars they had been hiding behind to molten slag. The tank waited, its sensors looking for movement in the mist.

A glowing sword sliced through the mist and into a series of cameras near the laser, sparks and smoke shooting from the module. The laser turned to face the last piece of monitored movement and fired, Aura Palm barely dodging its tracking shot. He ran and slid under some sort of workbench as Douser circled the rear and tossed his device onto the tank. He pressed the trigger again and again as he started blinking rapidly.

“Wanna know why I call myself ‘Douser’ and not ‘Extinguisher’,” he shouted as the packs of magazines seemed to grow hotter, but always just stopping just before they could ignite. A set of rear sensors blinked, and the tank turned to face him.

“Because there’s more than one way to douse a fire!” He yelled, thrusting his hand forward. All at once, the denied combustion was returned to the bullets.

There was a violent flash, like a fireworks display made of a giant shotgun. The laser mount was all but blown to bits, its laser exploding seconds later. Debris littered the combat lab. The gunmen flinched and steadied their aim but were alarmed when they pulled their triggers to no effect, Douser now glaring up at them. Ziggurat’s massive form finally collapsed.

Treadnautica leapt over her as Blow-Hearty inhaled. His chest held its inflated form for a few seconds before he released, and a burst of air sent the men tumbling back down the walkway. A purple glowing flash roared up and past the walkway before a massive purple palm-shaped blast of energy slammed into them. They were finished. AP gently touched down between the incapacitated gunmen. He kicked a gun away from one of their hands, just to avoid any surprise second winds.

“I didn’t even think there were this many assault weapons in Japan.”

Douser gave a thumbs up from the ground and they regrouped on the main floor, staring down into the main chamber these men had guarded with such ferocity. Aura Palm scowled at it, a glass dome over a crater, high-powered light lamps blasting solar energy into in the chamber. A figured strapped into a chair with some form of headset over his head.

“So that’s…that’s what they’re doing to Dummy-Sensei?”

“His name is Synergy,” Aura Palm as raised a glowing fist. “And we’re getting him out of here-“

There was a flash beside Aura Palm, as he felt someone’s shoulder driving into his stomach. His feet left the ground, and he was sent rocketing upwards, just able to grab a passing upper railing. Someone who could fly. Stretch? What-

“SUNDOWNER: ACTIVE!” A voice shouted over an intercom. Several familiar voices chanted in response.

“SUNDOWNER, ACTIVATED!” A glowing figure stood where Aura Palm had been, its body vibrating between small fields of light. The light dimmed and Aura Palm’s eyes widened, almost choking on his own breath.

It was a guard. One of the several guards he had just beaten, face fully covered, strange gear on their tactical suits.

The other fallen guards’ bodies began to glow to, and slowly their broken forms rose.

“This war between the hero society and our TRUE society needs soldiers. Several facilities like this one exist, built by our vary weapons: duplicates, replications, construct makes, you name it. Your friend he is rather interesting to me.”

Aura Palm watched as the Synergy duplicates rushed the upperclassmen. He leapt off the walkway, pushing off a railing, but felt several hands grabbed his waist and slam him down into the walkway. He grabbed a loose pipe, amplified it, and started swinging. The voice droned on.

“Each and every copy of his has the same quirk BUT they’re limited to one or two other copies as opposed to your friend’s hundred? Why? And then it hit me: Resistance. Your friend stores solar energy and then uses that energy to make solar duplicates. But each duplicate only has a FRACTION of the total’s energy output. It’s why even when one falls and he gets the energy back, his capacity to make more of himself is weakened. But if you could somehow make up that lost energy, or say, keep it constant across every resister…well.”

Aura Palm was pushing Synergies left and right, clutching the pipe for dear life. One finally caught his wrist, becoming about a dozen more before slamming his hand down against the nearest railing. He yelled out in pain, the pipe clattering to the floor below, as the upperclassmen were swallowed by a sea of Synergy.

“You would be a god.”