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gl1tteryzebra · 2 months

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I had a very pleasant interaction with a cute blonde-headed mechanic recently, now all I can think about is mechanic!jj...

the patchy sliver of shade provided by a low hanging loblolly offered a small reprieve from the heat. jj's signature collared shirt was now hanging open as he tinkered away beneath the bonnet of your car – that was how you knew it was truly sweltering.

it was a miracle you'd been able to rummage that half torn napkin from the depths of your centre console. after your engine stuttered to a stop on the side of some desolate road you were certain you were screwed– 6pm on a sunday night, even if you did manage to coax someone out to wherever you were, the rates would surely plummet your bank account into a state of despair– and then you remembered.

a few months back when you last had car trouble, the blonde slid a crumby piece of tissue across the till at his workshop with a wink, a number scribbled in blotchy red ink.

"you should really invest in a business card." you'd said with a grimace as remnants of whatever he'd been eating drifted down like heavy snowflakes.

" uh–well actually," he reached into his breast pocket, removing a wad of neatly stacked cards bound together by an elastic band. "we're one step ahead of you, sugar."

he passed one of the sleek black cards over as well, albeit a little reluctantly."what's this for then?" you inquired with furrowed brows and he laughed at that, genuinely tickled.

"oh that— that's just in case you're ever in need of my personal assistance."

and it was almost as though today was his manifestation coming too fruition.

off in the distance, through the thicket and beyond the marsh, remnants of daylight peeked over the horizon like a fragile yolk ready to spill into darkness at any moment. you wanted nothing more than to be tucked into bed with a warm cup of tea and your favourite book, but whatever was wrong with your car seemed to not be a simple fix.

patting down the pleats of your skirt, you paced leisurely back and forth before eventually clearing your throat. "how's she looking?"

"she?" his blonde head peeked out from behind the hunk of metal, interest glistening in those pale blue orbs.

"yeah, pinkie. are you telling me you don't name your beloved vehicle?" (the vehicle in question: his beaten up honda CRF 230 which currently laid discarded in a pothole with an open tool box spilling its content onto the side of the road.)

he snickered, removing his cap to wipe the sweat from his brow. "guess you got me there– that's bessie, the finest lass on the road."

you scoffed, "why bessie of all things?"

"oh-kay, there's no way I'll be judged by someone who named their car pinkie...and its not even pink."

"it wasn't available at the time!"

his lips tugged into a downward crescent, mocking your face as it contoured into an earnest pout. "now that's a true tragedy– oh, 'n you happen to go through a car wash recently?"

"uh–yeah. today actually, why?"

"welllll you got water stuck in the engine cylinders, blocking up the emission control system. it got real stinky in the cabin right?"

"yeah it did, almost as bad as a guys locker room."

"ha! sounds 'bout right," his ring clad fingers reached above his head to pull the bonnet down. your eyes naturally drifted to his exposed midriff; lean muscles stretching taut, flecks of sun damage marring his pale skin, a defined v dipping below his waistline...

snapping out of your stupor, your gaze lifted to be met with a knowing smirk– shit. you were surprised when he didn't comment on the fact that you'd so shamelessly checked him out, but even more so as he rushed to pack up his tool box almost bashfully. "uh–so fancy this, I don't actually have the tools I need to fix it on me."

"really? I thought you said you kept everything you ever need on hand."

"huh–oh yeah, well one of the boys must've stolen my shit, bloody typical."

"right...what should I do then?" he flicked his grimy hair from his forehead, regarding you with an impish grin.

"come back to the shop. I'll get my guy to tow your pinkie in tonight, get 'er fixed up bright an' early in the mornin' so you can be on your merry way."

"it's not exactly close to my house–"

he shrugged, persistent as ever, "that's cool, no worries, we've got a couch and some blankets if you wanna stay the night."

"what about you?"

"well I can't risk a thief in the night, can I? best if I stay too."

you resisted the urge to snort, what an idiot. "how am I supposed to get back to your shop now though?"

his eyes spoke for themself, gesturing to his bike as is if that was a stupid question. "oh–no, no no no no no, no way." your hands wildly gesticulated. no, absolutely not. you knew enough about jj's reckless and impulsive nature to guess how this would present itself in other areas of his life– most of a concern to you in this moment, his driving.

"hey, there's need to be scared sugar, I always drive extra careful with precious cargo." he cut himself off with a boyish chuckle as your face morphed into something deeply unimpressed. "c'mon, it's not exactly like you have any other choice...so whadd'ya say?"

you settled onto the back of his bike with a grumble, hands shooting up to adjust the helmet he loaned you (his only helmet). the engine revved to an obnoxious start and with a shriek you hurried cling onto his waist– heart thumping erratically behind your ribs.

"comfy?"

"shut up."

"holdin' me a bit tight, sweetheart. sure you're not enjoying this?"

"shut. up."

his chest rumbled with laughter as he took off into the sunset.

couldn't be bothered to get down and dirty with this one tonight, think I might just make a pt.2

🎀 @seabunni 🎀

#jj maybank drabble #jj maybank prompt #divider by @firefly-graphics #mechanic!jj #jj maybank x reader #want to write more about this #so if you have prompts send em in!!#especially smutty ones hehe #obx x reader

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midnight-echoes · 2 years

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Here are some incorrect quotes with NickToons. Enjoy.

Timmy: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? Jimmy: Technically a mix of green and blue. Timmy: So blurple. Jimmy: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. Timmy: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE? Jimmy: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

SpongeBob: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three. SpongeBob: One... two... three. Patrick: ... SpongeBob: ... SpongeBob: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered* Zim: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer? Mikey: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine. Rudy: What about Guano? Nobody ever suspects Guano! Guano: Well what about Danny? Danny: Zim has a knife. Zim: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! (stabs Rudy in the arm)

Bessie: What do you call disobeying the law? Other NickToons: A hobby. Bessie: *crosses her arms* Other NickToons: That we do not engage in.

(Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation) Fanboy: How do you eat pickles? Chum Chum: What do you mean? Fanboy: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes. Chum Chum: Yeah, that's why you use a fork. Fanboy: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean. Chum Chum: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work. Fanboy: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl. Chum Chum: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing. Fanboy: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug. Chum Chum: Nods in agreement Kyle: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS! Fanboy: Jeez, okay. Chum Chum: Quit yelling at us already.

Guano: What the hell were you thinking? Sheen: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic! Guano: You released OSTRICHES!

Lincoln: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into- Ronnie Anne: You sleep with a stuffed rabbit. Lincoln: He’s my SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

SpongeBob & Patrick: accidentally set the kitchen on fire SpongeBob: We need an adult! Patrick: SpongeBob, you are an adult! SpongeBob: We need an adultier adult! Get Danny!

(Timmy recording whilst Frida and Manny are arguing) Frida: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO! Timmy: wheezes like a tea kettle Manny, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab her. Frida: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? Manny: It's my favorite movi- Frida: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, MANNY! Manny: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y- Frida: GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

Arnold: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Lincoln: wHat? Arnold: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Lincoln: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Doug: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Ronnie Anne: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Doug: That's not how it works…? Bessie: Hmm… I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free… not sure where you're getting your facts from…

Olly: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Saraline: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Olly: Not when you’re playing with Ansi, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Pelswick: What did you two do? SpongeBob: Timmy: Pelswick: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Pelswick: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Sheen: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 Jenny: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Sheen: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. Danny: Did you burn an orange too? How??? Sheen: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

SpongeBob: Where's Fanboy? Timmy: Don't worry, I'll find him. Timmy, shouting: Chum Chum sucks! Fanboy, distantly: Chum Chum is the best person ever! Fuck you! Timmy: Found him.

Jimmy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK! Timmy: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

Kidnapper: We have your child Bessie: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich? Bessie: Oh god, you have SpongeBob.

Cat: Dog… Dog: Oh no, 'Dog' in B flat. Dog: You're disappointed.

GIR: honk. Zim: WHAT. GIR: HONK. Zim: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Timmy: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Patrick will and will not eat. Danny: Grass? Yes! Timmy: Moss? Yes!! Danny: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Timmy: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Danny: Worms? Sometimes! Timmy: Rocks? Usually nah. Danny: Twigs? Usually! Timmy: Jimmy's cooking? Inconclusive! SpongeBob: How did you… test this? Timmy: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it. SpongeBob: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Jimmy: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Kyle: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Fanboy: Hey, Kyle. Kyle: GODDAMNIT!

Guano: Mikey, please calm down. Mikey: I asked for two large fries! Mikey: *dumps fries onto table* Mikey: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

Ansi, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles. Olly: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake- Saraline, under her breath: Don’t say Jortles. Olly: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.

SpongeBob: Guys… the principal just called— Jimmy: It was Timmy! Timmy: It was Dib! Dib: It was Zim! Zim: It was I ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM

Snap: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Arnold: I think you mean cards. Rudy: He did not. Snap, pulling out knives: I did not.

Miko: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. SpongeBob: What's wrong with you?? Miko: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention. Five: No, he means other than that. Miko: Ohhhhhh. Miko: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Jenny: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment…at all? Timmy: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Snap: I’m quick at math. Rudy: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Snap: 24. Rudy: That wasn’t even close. Snap: But it was quick.

SpongeBob: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt? Danny: Danny: Why are you eating dirt? SpongeBob: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Dib, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Gaz, my own sister, for telling me SpongeBob was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

*Sheen falls over* Chum Chum: Sheen! Are you alright? Sheen: Is that you, God? Chum Chum: What? Sheen: It's just, you sound a lot more like Chum Chum than I expected.

Timmy: So… what’s goin’ on? Arnold: You want the long version or the short version? Timmy, hesitantly: The short one, I guess? Arnold: Shit’s fucked. Timmy: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

Dib: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Mikey: Several traffic violations. Chum Chum: Three counts of resisting arrest. Fanboy: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Guano: Also, that’s not our car.

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