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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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Actually, anti parabatai plot as a criticism of the oppressive regime would have been super interesting. Like they literally perform some magical ritual on minors. Moreover, it’s seen as prestigious and is highly encouraged. Moreover, if children have doubts they can’t even properly discuss them. Notice how in 2x03 Alec is left so alone he only has his baby sister to share his misgivings about the ritual. Moreover, he isn’t even happy about the upcoming ceremony. It really feels like he only ->

-> out of obligation (reminds me of ‘are you happy’, ‘yes, I’m following my duty’). Idk maybe it was indoctrinated that cancelling the ceremony once you gave your word is unthinkable, dishonourable, shameful or some other shit. Anyway, Alec didn’t look enthusiastic AT ALL. We don’t see what role Maryse and Robert played in this but they were probably their toxic selves. Besides, it’s strange to make a team out of two people so different both personality and career wise. And speaking of indoctrination, you can see children getting ingrained with this shit from the very young age. Like little Izzy may not have wanted a parabatai herself but you can see she was still affected. Jace legit said that they were gonna be REAL brothers as if something stopped him seeing Alec as such without a magical tattoo which is major yikes

EXACTLY!!! you get it!!!!!! not only that but the whole "the biggest pain a shadowhunter could ever know is losing a parabatai", "parabatai are the most important people to each other", "parabatai are in perfect tune" etc like so much shit that was straight up NOT SHOWN TO BE TRUE throughout the plot. valentine and luke were parabatai and he betrayed him, jace basically never gave a fuck about alec's wellbeing, he couldn't even tell when alec was literally dying lol also the bond isn't even that strong, like if ur away for a while or try to TRACK THEM it breaks??? and in the books robert and michael were parabatai as well and then they never talked again and robert legit straight up couldnt tell when michael DIED AND WAS REPLACED BY VALENTINE WITH A GLAMOUR like My God

my hc for this whole thing is that the parabatai thing was invented to increase sh loyalty to each other as well as their teamwork, and they made up this bunch of bullshit about it being like family and super important and their pain is your pain and blah blah blah to seem more desirable. kinda like how spartans encouraged relationships between soldiers to make them stronger? or how compulsory monogamy teaches you that the way to achieve happiness is through One Single Person who will be perfect for you always oops

actually o shit there are plenty of parallels between parabataiship and compulsory monogamy and i think i'm gonna go into that now. so mandatory disclaimer that compulsory monogamy =/= your monogamous relationship, just like heteronormativity =/= your heterosexual relationship. okay? okay. if yall come for me screaming that Monogamous People Aren't All Toxic i will ignore you because that's not what i'm saying and i just explicitly stated that. okay? okay

so i’m gonna skip the historical part because compulsory monogamy is very intimately related with the invention of capitalism, private property and etc., and that doesn’t work quite as well in the context of sh since it’s more of a military society than anything, and again, i do believe that it’s more of a “making them more likely to be loyal”/less likely to question missions and stuff thing. but the effects of parabataiship as it is constructed in sh lore are very similar to those of compulsory monogamy in real life:

the whole loyalty thing that can be very easily turned into toxicity/co-dependency/straight up abusive and unequal dynamics. again, i’m talking about monogamy as a system, not saying that all monogamous relationships are toxic, okay? if i sound insistent here, it’s because you wouldn’t believe the amount of times i put 4981749318 disclaimers like that and ppl still got offended on behalf of their monogamous relationships i wasn’t talking about

i’ll go further into that. monogamy ideology, like parabatai ideology, tells us that there’s a kind of relationship that is superior to all others and should be prioritized above all others (romantic relationships for monogamy ideology, parabataiship for parabatai ideology. compulsory monogamy and amatonormativity are more than just intimately related, they are a part of the other). this means that not putting the person you have this kind of relationship with above all others is seen as a crime and betrayal. and i’m not talking about cheating here, i’m talking about stuff such as “would you let your partner go to parties without you?”, seeing you at a place without your partner and asking where they are and why they didn’t come with you/assuming that you must have fought or broken up, considering that a relationship is doomed or not very close if its parts are not literally inseparable, turning the two parts of a relationship into some kind of almost symbiotic creature, where you stop being “A and B” and become “A-and-B” (this exact wording is even a trope in romantic fiction, esp fanfic), “would your missus let you come with us?”, having huge fights because one party wants to go somewhere and the other doesn’t and they can’t come to an agreement on that, etc., i think you get it by now

this mindset that the person you have this particular kind of relationship with should be prioritized above all others, that a part of your sense of self should be merged with theirs, that you essentially have to become a unit, and that it’s hard, but you have to fight to make it work (”love hurts”, “love is tough, it’s like that”, “if you love someone you have to make sacrifices for them”, etc) makes people feel guilty whenever they don’t put that person and their wishes above all else, or even when they want to do something without them, because that is seen as not loving them enough. not only that, but monogamy ideology promises you that once you find The One™ you will achieve a kind of happiness and perfection in your life that you couldn’t get any other way. this means that people are effectively scared of breaking up or of not having/wanting a relationship like that, because it means that they are broken and will never be truly happy (see what i meant when i said that amatonormativity and monogamy ideology are a part of each other?). that’s why you see people saying shit like “my greatest fear is to waste many years on a relationship and break up in the end”, “if you aren’t dating to get married you’re dating to get your heart broken”, etc.

so you see people trying their damn hardest to stay loyal to the relationship even when it obviously doesn’t make them happy, feeling guilty for not being happy, and accepting toxic mindsets and abuse because they feel like they owe it to them. especially the weakest link in the relationship - notably women in monogamy ideology, as monogamy is also inherently linked with the patriarchy and in monogamy ideology specifically a woman in a het relationship is seen as more than just a part of the man she is in a relationship with, she’s seen as his property, but that dynamic can also be inverted or ruled by other factors such as race, sexuality, gender identity, class, etc. - are way more likely to be seen as owing their partners loyalty. not just that, but in particular with people who are otherwise oppressed, being loved is seen as almost a favor, because again, being in a romantic relationship is supposed to be your exclusive golden ticket to heavenly happiness and whatnot, and oppressed people (esp queer ppl and poc) as seen as undeserving of that, and effectively denied that in many ways, so they are more likely to want to stay in a toxic relationship out of fear that they won’t ever find anything better (it’s not a coincidence that “no one will ever love you like i do” is such a common phrase to hear from abusers). also, let’s not forget that even the right to break up in itself is something that had to be fought for. the feminist movement spent years trying to make divorce legal (in the places where it is) and still fights to make it be seen as acceptable. if it weren’t for other pressures trying to change the rules of monogamy, a “breakup” would quite literally not even be allowed, and this always benefits the strongest link

so now that that’s been explained, back to parabataiship. i think the parallels here are very clear - i mean, for one, you can’t really break it up, unless you purposefully use soul tracking or stay away for a long time, so it’s like, old fashioned monogamy. but more than that, breaking your parabatai bond is seen as terrifying. there is a lot of purposeful rethoric that directly says that the pain of the parabatai bond being severed (whether by will or by one of the parts dying) is unmatchable, and that plants a horrible fear into people, to the point where villains use that against parabatai shadowhunters (for example, the owl possessing jace and telling him that it’ll kill alec so he knows what the pain of losing a parabatai is like). this means that loyalty is owed, because even if you just want to be away from your parabatai, this might break the bond and put you through unspeakable pain (in theory. as i’ve been saying, it’s basically been proved that that’s not true, because when jace died that was far from being the worst pain that alec’s ever felt)

moreover: the whole thing about how this kind of relationship is sacred, above all else, and will bring you a kind of happiness that is impossible to achieve otherwise. this is said many times - like you said, parabataiship is seen as something desirable and that brings honor. the vows are very similar to marriage (the highest pillar of monogamy) vows (“your family will be my family, your people will be my people”, “entreat me not to leave thee”), clary is constantly told that she could never understand the relationship jace and alec have because they’re parabatai and being parabatai is special and basically uncomparable to anything else, even by izzy, who never wanted to have a parabatai (and in the end she ends up wanting to, which reminds me of the whole “oh, you’ll want it once you grow up” trope with heterosexual romantic relationships. like, basically, you’ll want it once you find the right person. that is something aro, gay, and non-monog ppl hear all the damn time). the whole thing about how obviously jace is supposed to be the one alec loves the most, they’re parabatai, the whole thing about how “alec would die for me, we’re parabatai” like that is unquestionable; the souls becoming one, the being able to feel each other’s feelings and blah blah blah. in short: sacred, above all else, and, unless you do something very wrong, able to bring you a kind of connection and happiness you wouldn’t be able to get otherwise no matter how strong your feelings or your compatibility is; and once you get it, you can’t get out

and then there’s the imbalance it brings. like i said, notably in monogamy as a pillar of heteronormativity the imbalance lays on women, altho other factors can change that balance or be more prominent. with parabataiship, there’s an obvious trope of queer people getting heterosexual parabatai and being very obviously the weakest link (alec with jace, michael with robert, there are others but i don’t remember. the exception to this is luke, who is written as equally heterosexual and, in the books, equally white, to valentine, but who’s still the weakest link anyway because valentine gains power and prestige luke doesn’t have). again, the whole “alec would die for me” thing tells a lot. he didn’t say “we would die for each other”. he said “alec would die for me”. despite the rethoric being that both parts should be endlessly devoted, the expectation that one should fulfill that obviously falls harder on one than on the other. with monogamy, there’s even a kind of rethoric that you have to work for the reciprocation to be there (for example, victims of domestic abuse being told that if they dedicate themselves to their partners enough, the abuse would stop, like they owe their partners dedication and love and comprehension, and then their partners will give it back only once they get enough of it) that we haven’t really seen with parabatai (at least i don’t remember it) but that i wouldn’t be surprised to see present there. after all, alec can feel it when jace gets a papercut and jace can’t tell when alec is literally dying, and none of that is ever questioned in canon

and then the imbalance is kept because, again, breaking up parabataiship is unthinkable and shameful, not to mention kind of impossible/not allowed to do officially. so the weakest link is basically stuck in this situation of imbalance and, in many cases, toxicity and abuse, but can’t break out of it and effectively feel guilty because according to everything they’ve ever been told, they should be elated that they’ve found their one and they should be happy. if they aren’t happy, then they’re broken, or not trying hard enough, and it’s taboo to even talk about that

again, i’m not saying that all monogamous relationships or all parabataiships are toxic, okay? i’m saying that, as a structurer of our society (and sh’s fictional society) they favor this kind of dynamic, allow it, and justify it through their ideologies. in the same way that heteronormativity allied with misoginy makes it more likely for women to be abuse or r-word victims than men. is every het relationship toxic? no. is heteronormativity toxic? yes. monogamy works the same way

in short, parabataiship is not a relationship model. or rather, it is, but way before and more than that, parabataiship is an ideology that is specifically structured to subjugate shadowhunters, notably queer shadowhunters, and keep their loyalty to each other and to the clave, and most of its rethoric (nothing can ever be stronger than the love for a parabatai, nothing can match the pain of losing a parabatai, parabatai are one and the same and they share a soul) is absolute bullshit built to make it more desirable and make sure that structure is left unquestioned. a plotline that questions the buildings of parabataiship and shows how the whole myth that’s around parabataiship is that, a myth, built to subjugate and control people, would have been amazing, but of course we couldn’t get that so crumbles of meta it is

me: i’m tired of discourse in my blog i’m going to chill for now. me the very same day: what if i went on my first more detailed anti-monogamy rant when that is 100% guaranteed to attract aggressive people who can’t read and also criticized sh fandom’s beloved parabataiship all in one post?

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revol-lover · 4 years

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dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb)

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol) and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why?

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s.

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race.

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school.

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that.

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom?

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented. my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent.

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal.

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about

#personal

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ssironstrange · 5 years

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endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.” SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this.

#endgame

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zxanthe · 5 years

Note

Maka and Soul are best friends and have been since they were infants, but they both have huge crushes on each other and have for a while. Neither one of them knows, but senior prom is coming around and both are looking for dates. More like each other

another late prompt! kinda flubbed it on the “best friends” bit and turned it into more of a “best hatefriends” type of thing - in any case, this is a bit experimental - hope yall enjoy lmao

(also available on ao3)

–

“Broooo,” Starleers, and his teeth glitter too brightly under the lights, “you got a date tothe prom yet?”

Jealousy, irrational and sudden, starts buzzing in ahigh-pitched whine by his ear before he squashes it flat with a snort. “Spend afuckload of money to get trapped in some hotel ballroom with a bunch of peopleI hate for three hours? C’mon, dude, there are way better ways to spend yourtime.”

“Okay, but, consider: Tsubaki Nakatsukasa.” He shoots a grinand a wink over Soul’s shoulder. The girl in question smiles and waves backsheepishly. She’s standing a ways down the hall with Liz Thompson and – oh God.Soul’s heart skips a beat. He swivels his head back frontways, cool as can be.

“She actually said yes?”

“Of course! It’s not like I thought she wouldn’t or anything,I mean have you seen these guns?”

Throbbing, gently glistening muscles are thrust under hisnose. “Should make you a sandwich with all that jelly you got there,” Star sayswith a smirk.

Soul makes a show of rolling his eyes and shoves him away.“Bro, c’mon.”

“No bro, you c’mon.It’s our senior year. Think of all the people we can make fun of!”

“Like we don’t do that every day.”

“But they’ll be thinking they’re even hotter shit thanthey’re usually not so it’ll be twice as funny.”

“Still no.”

“Brah. Whatever, let’s hit the gym. Not much time left tofit in those gains, ya dig?”

“Unbelievable,” Soul grumbles. He grabs his bag and slamshis locker shut.

Across the hall, Maka grabs her bag and slams her lockershut. “Who, Evans?”

“Yeah!” says Liz, smacking her gum. “Tsu’s already goingwith Blockhead over there, might as well go along for moral support. ‘Sides,didn’t you two used to be like BFFs up till like middle school?”

She very determinedly doesn’t look back. She can feel herears heating up. “Okay, one, that was a long time ago and we don’t really talkanymore because he turned into a jerk, and two, Tsu, really?!”

“Black Star has such nice deltoids, Maka,” Tsubaki saysmournfully. “They’re sculpted. Andhe’s actually not all that bad, once you get to know him.”

“You’re too nice for your own good.”

“Maybe so. But you know, he’s kind of charming, in his ownspecial way.”

“Oh my God.”

Liz cackles. “Look, I’d ask Evans myself cause mmm, grungerocker boy with a sexy-ass glare? I’d be all over that, baby, but Kid alreadyasked me, so my hands are kinda tied.”

Maka huffs. Her ears must be totally red by now, ugh, shereally hopes Liz isn’t in an observant mood. It’s not like she expressly needsa date to go to the prom; going stag is very much a thing. Having one wouldn’tnecessarily make the undoubtedly agonizing experience any better, much lessSoul Evans of all people. She imagines, though, for a brief, blinding instant,what he’d look like in a suit – oh no, Liz is looking at her and she doesn’t likethe glint in her eye. Maka clears her throat and fumbles at the threads ofconversation. “That rich boy transfer student? No way.”

“Yes way,” Liz says, smugness creeping into her voice, “andif – “

“ – you don’t go I will be fuckin’ hurt.”

Soul rolls his eyes. “Would you quit it already, it’s beenlike a week now. Th’ fuck you even need me there for anyway, dumbass, you’vefinally got a date with the chick you’ve been talking about nonstop for likethis entire semester.”

“Uh, yeah, and I need my most loyal follower and favoritewingman there to bask in the combined force of our blinding hotness.”

“Jesus, you’re so weird,why do I even talk to you?”

“The words I speaketh are ambrosia on thine ears, my goodbro. Hey, why don’t you ask out Tsubaki’s friend? That short flat-chested onewith the pigtails, I forgot her name. That way you don’t have to worry aboutthird-wheeling us.”

Soul chokes on his protein shake. Black Star pounds himvigorously on the back. “Breathe, brother. I know, I know. But take one for theteam, yeah?”

“Fuck you,” Soul gasps. “You’re the worst.”

“Shh. No tears, only dreams now.”

“Maka Albarn,” Soul begins, “is the nerdiest, most uptight –“

“ – idiotic slacker in the entire school!” Her ears aresteaming, she’s sure of it. “I can’t be seenwith a guy like that, the act alone will drop my GPA by a full lettergrade!”

“GPA-shmeePA,” Liz says with a dismissive wave of herfreshly-painted nails. “Listen, you won’t flunk out of college or whatever justbecause you go party for one night. Besides, what if things go south withBlockhead and Tsu needs backup? Who’ll look after our girl?”

“I know taekwondo, you know,” Tsu says from on top of herbed.

“Not the point. C’mon, Maka!”

“A triangle has three sides,” Tsu says. “Senior prom wouldn’tbe right without you. You don’t even have to ask anyone if you don’t want to.”

I do, though, mumblesa little voice in the back of her head, and an image of Soul surfaces in herbrain. She bites her lip. “Well…”

“Uh,” says Soul.

In front of him, Maka puts a hand on her hip. “Uhhh,” she mimics. “Are you just goingto stare at me like an idiot all day or was there something you had to say?”

His stomach’s doing backflips and it’s making it very hardto concentrate. The bell just rang, they’re huddled awkwardly against the walljust outside the classroom to avoid getting swept up in the crowd, and herealizes, belatedly, that he doesn’t have to do this. He could just go byhimself, and be the awkward third wheel, but. Ugh. This is stupid – why’s he sonervous? (He knows exactly why.) He plays it off as lofty annoyance. “Do you,”he begins.

“Do I.”

“Do you. Wanna go to prom?”

Maka gapes. She was thinking he’d be asking to copy hercalculus homework for the billionth time, or maybe help on a biology problem –they have entirely too many classes together and it’s bullshit, it really is –but not this. She’d been agonizing ona dignified way to ask him for the past three days, and then this just dropsinto her lap –

“Hello in there,” Soul says. “Wow, am I really thatoffensive? I’m hurt.”

Her heart’s beating too fast, ugh, God, she can’t think – wait,he asked her, does this mean – could it be that –

“Yes,” she blurts.

Disappointment skewers his stomach mid-somersault. “Well,that settles that, I guess.”

Mortification consumes her as she realizes what she justsaid. “No!” she cries, too passionately. Soul turns around and quirks aneyebrow. Her ears are flaming. “Imean, yes! I mean, you’re – palatable! I’ll go to prom with you!”

“Oh. Oh. Hella.Rad. Guess I’ll uh. See you then. You have my number already, right?”

“Y-yeah!”

Fuck me, Soulthinks as he escapes, hoping she didn’t catch him blushing like a motherfucker,hella rad –

- you’re palatable – Maka wants to die –

REALLY?!

“Really?” Maka asks.

They made it intact to the dance floor. Some sappy countrysong is playing. The floor is packed with sweaty, inept teenage dancers; itreeks accordingly. He’s wearing a rental and she’s got on this knee-lengthpurple number that really highlights her lack of any womanly curves whatsoever.Her hair’s half-down half bizarre corkscrew pigtails. Liz and Tsubaki must havedone her makeup, there’s no way she could get it to look that polished on herown. She looks gawky. She looks ridiculous. There’s something funny happeningin his chest at the sight of her.

She feels the light, hesitant pressure of his hand in hersand on her hip like nothing she’s ever felt. His palm’s a little clammy. He’sso tall. When did he get so tall? Her heart’s beating a million miles an hour.She wants – she wants – she takes a deep breath. “Do you even know how todance?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh, figures.”

“Hey, you were theone who wanted to get out here, not me. Don’t you dare complain.”

She steps on his toe and feels gratified at the little yelpof pain he gives. “Ugh, you’re so…it’s a freaking dance, dummy, not a sit-at-the-table-like-a-weirdo!” Her heartleaps into her throat as a terrible thought occurs to her. “If you didn’t wannacome,” she says, a shade quieter, “why’d you even ask me?”

Soul swallows. “I, uh. Star, he.”

Oh no. Oh no, she’s a world-class idiot. “Don’t,” she says thickly,beginning to pull away. “Ha ha, very funny, ask the ugly one out for shits and giggles – “

“No!” Soul’s grip tightens. “It wasn’t – I wouldn’t – do youactually think I’d – “

“Yes!” she says,trying to escape in earnest now, and Soul flinches, stung. He doesn’t let go,though.

“Listen to me, itwasn’t a dare, okay, I – “

“Then why!”

“Because – it’s uncool to go to prom without a date and – “

“Oh, so it’s about your image, is it! God, men, you’re all so – “

“Let me finish!” hegrowls, and tries to pull her back to him, but he pulls too hard and of courseshe fucking trips and suddenly it is taking all of Soul’s considerablebalancing skills, honed from years spent studying the ways of the skateboard,to keep them from eating shit like a couple of goddamn morons. They performseveral very silly and energetic twirls instead, earning them some dirty looksfrom neighboring couples.

“Holy shit,” says Black Star from their table, elbowingTsubaki. “This is going way better than we thought.”

“It’s beautiful,” she sighs, smiling a little.

“Jesus,” Soulsays. He’s dipped her. This final move was necessary to prevent them fromfalling, and also to make everything look totally awesome and intentional.Their faces are very close together. She’s got really, really pretty eyes, henotes, a little dazedly. “Because I wantedto,” he blurts out.

Her throat bobs as she swallows. Her mouth is suddenly verydry. “You…what?”

“I mean, like, Star was like, ask Maka, because she’s Tsu’sfriend and all and it would just make sense and I wouldn’t go otherwise but I actuallywanted to, also, I mean, ask you.”

“Oh,” she says. She’s dizzy from all the spinning they justdid and kinda breathless. This close she can smell his cologne. The lights aretoo dim to properly tell but – her heart stops – is that a blush on his face? Oh. Oh.

Oh. She’s looking at him with something very much likedisgust, or shock, or something – fucking hell, he blew it, this is it, shereally does hate him now. He straights back up. The song is still fuckingplaying. He knew this was a bad idea, the entire night, all of it – this danceis just the rotten cherry on the shit sundae of the entire liquid fart of hisentire high school career. He swallows hard, and wonders how much more she’dhate him if he bolted right here and now –

Her brain has short-circuited, as it tends to do around thisstupid, stupid boy. “Are you even going to college?” she blurts nonsensically.

He looks visibly startled. “What? No. No. Fuck the police,”he mumbles.

One beat. Two. Then she busts out laughing. Okay, now he’sdefinitely blushing, she can see it, it’s confirmed. Silly, silly coolguys.

“Fuck you,” he mumbles. “I hate you.”

She’s feeling very brave, or maybe very stupid. Maybethey’re the same thing. She tightens her grip on his shoulder and steps incloser. “Do you?” she asks him. “Well I hate you more. I’ve always hated you.”

“Oh, sick. Even when we were kids?”

“Especially then.”

His eyes get a strange, blazing look. It makes butterfliesexplode in the pit of her stomach. He jerks her through a turn round thecorner. “Well I’ve hated you since I first saw your stupid face,” he growls.“Every time you smile I get so fuckin’ pissed, I wanna just, just kiss it right off you.”

“Holy shit,” Maka blurts, and now her whole face is probablythe color of a fire engine, “son of a,” and she goes for it, loops her armsround his neck and presses close like she’s wanted to all night.

“You’re awful,” Soul rumbles, and hugs her tighter, “fuckingterrible – “

“Uncouth, moronic – “

“Why don’t we cut the crap,” he says suddenly, “and blowthis joint. Let’s go to The Creek and stargaze, like we used to.”

“The Creek?”

“Oh yeah. Our one. Bet our fort’s still there andeverything.”

“Bet.”

“You’re on. Loser’s gotta pay up with – ” and she feels hisbreathing hitch “ – a kiss.”

She pulls away and looks at him. There are spots of color inhis cheeks, and when he meets her eyes they deepen and he looks away. Ice cold,yeah right. She takes a deep breath. They have a lot of catching up to do.

“Deal,” she says, and smiles.

#soma #soulxmaka #soul/maka #soul eater #ask fic #se by z #zxanthe writes sometimes #i wrote this after watching scott pilgrim vs the world for the first time #kms #Anonymous

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venus-says · 5 years

Text

Aikatsu! Episodes 97-101

The Shining Line of Admiration.

We're finally here!!!! End of season 2!!! OOF, I thought I wouldn't be able to keep up with this insanity, BUT HERE WE ARE.

Before anything else I feel like I should apologize, I'm very tired so my comments will probably be shorter than usual. I know it's the end of the season, and I wish I could do a better send-off post about it, but I'm really exhausted I wanna get this done quickly. Besides, I already didn't have a lot to say about these episodes so. I'm really sorry.

Anyway, Episode 97 picks up from the last one as we follow Akari and her struggle with making a special appeal. Again, I think the drama being about the special appeal is silly, but this episode is gorgeous nonetheless. It's good to see this contrast between someone who has a natural-born talent and someone who has to work harder than the most to fulfill their dreams and is even greater that we see this taking emotional effect on Ichigo. I also like the analogy of the stars are still there even if the sun is out they did here, I don't think it's applicable to everything in life but in terms of idol world I guess is a very valuable message. I wish I had something positive to comment about Akari's version of Heart no Melody, but I don't have so I'll stay quiet about it.

I gotta be honest, I don't like Episode 98, to me is way too much drama for things that would be very simple to solve. I also don't like that 2wingS unit coord and song debuts here and not in the cup because it takes off the feel of "special" that it could give in the actual episode of the competition. But at least we got to see the Angely Mountain elevator for the first time so? I guess this episode isn't all bad?

99 and 100 are the cup and I've gotta be honest I was very underwhelmed by them, especially episode 100,

I have two problems with 99, one is WM sudden disband announcement and the other is the bullshit they came up with to give them a reason to break up. But as much as the Gardeners Cup sounds very dumb to me I'm happy to see Mikuru finding her own goals and that these goals aren't Idol related. And again, as much as I don't like the announcement coming so out of the blue, all the emotional moments caused by it work very well and I was very touched by Mikuru and Mizuki's friendship they've shown here. The episode also gives me mixed feelings about the performance where I don't like that it's a reused song but I like that are new coords and to change up we see the second verse of the song instead of the first, I think this is a very cool concept and they definitely should do this more (especially seeing how much they do repeated performances in Friends!)

Episode 100, on the other hand, is just very very underwhelming, I really got nothing to comment on. I get it's a difficult situation since the performance can't be pushed away to the second half so the cup itself would be resolved very quickly in the first half, but still, it felt like something was lacking. Also, the fact that there was nothing new to 2wingS performance made it be less impressive than the intended. Maybe the cup wasn't really all that important and this episode is more to show the end of a cycle, but they've been hyping this up since episode 93 I think, I wanted more.

Once again I don't have a lot to say about 101. It's the transitional episode leading us to the next season and it is pretty effective in what it was trying to do. This episode makes you want to follow Akari even though her appearances throughout this season had a lot of stumbles on. Overall? A good episode.

And this was season 2, I had lots of fun with this one, despite the many flaws I've commented on during these past few days, in the big scheme of things I think I like this one better than season 1.

Tomorrow we're finally getting into Akari gen territory and I hope I'll have more energy to give you all a better post than this one. XD Now if yall excuse me I'm gonna crash on bed because my back is killing me. Thankf for following me in this journey. ^^

#Aikatsu!#aikatsu

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grayisholi · 5 years

Note

@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !

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gayasinstupidpodcast · 5 years

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What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!

Further Reading on LGBT Artists

Montage of a Queering Deferred: Memory, Ownership, and Archival Silencing in the Rhetorical Biography of Langston Hughes

The Political Provocations of Keith Haring

Pop art politics: Activism of Keith Haring

E M Forster’s Gay Fiction

Alok Vaid-Menon Tells Us What It’s Like To Be Femme In Public

Shea Diamond Speaks Her Truth

Aaron’s 2018 November Recs!

Alok Alok Vaid-Menon is one of my favorite poet/activist/performance artists out there! Their writing and stage presence is gorgeous and witty in a way that’s SO clever and still feels like you’re in a room trading jokes you don’t need to explain with your closest trans friends. The way they balance their art creates a real, deeply touching experience that feels very essential to our world.

Miles (2016) Miles is set in 1999 and is a coming of age story about a gay teenager trying to get a volleyball scholarship for college in Chicago. It’s not revolutionary and it’s not over the top dramatic, but it’s funny and honest and it makes me feel nice. Definitely the movie to watch when you’ve just been through something emotionally taxing and need a light crying session and some mediocre pastries.

Isaac’s 2018 November Recs!

The Adventure Zone I know half of you already kin the Mcelroys while the other half either don’t know or don’t care, but the Adventure Zone is one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s a DND podcast (yes, all episodes are transcribed, and they have a graphic novel for the first arc of Balance with a second one on the way!) by three brothers plus their dad, and not only does it have the most amazing story and is ungodly funny, but TONS of gays (Griffin went ape with those Lesbian NPCS)! And just because they can! Same with trans characters. It’s a story where they just exist, and that’s really important to me because in a lot of media LGBT have to almost prove why they deserve to take up space. And it’s not just something that goes on in their first campaign, Amnesty also has those sweet sweet gay! I could talk about this podcast for hours, so if you needed that final push to give it a listen, THIS IS IT!

Stardew Valley You get to farm and be gay. And if THAT hasn’t sold you on this charming video game, then maybe the super cute graphics, beautiful soundtrack and a handful of interesting characters will! TBH I spend so much time playing this game it’s concerning. It’s just such a fun way to relax, and I just really REALLY like video games were I can chose to be gay. Like. God Tier. YOU CAN HAVE CROPS AND CHICKENS AND BE GAY C’MON YALL!!

The Amazing Quotes And Artists Featured!

Meg | instagram | esty

“My identity as a bisexual woman influences my art in many ways. As a woman, i create art about the issues that effect me, such as abortion and gender equality, in order to resonate with the people that matter most to me. As a bisexual individual, my subjects often appear from a gaze that falls outside of the stereotypical eye. My figure drawings and portraits all come from a place of admiration, and don’t fall into the stereotype of the male gaze or womanly care- they are the space inbetween, equally sexualized and normalized. I feel lucky to be a bi gal in the art world because it is a place that is my own to create in. There are so many queer artists that i look up to such as Mapplethorpe and Warhol, and many female artists i can cite as influence (Jenny Holzer, Kiki Smith, and Louise Bourgeois to name a few). My identity gives me a whole new world of content to draw from and allows my work to resonate with a wider audience, and I really think that any artists goal is to reach and touch as many people as possible.“

Cameron | twitter | instagram

“I don’t think that it influences the form really, but it definitely influences the subject matter! (Much as I hate to admit it, my identity influences the majority of choices I make in life.) I write a lot of poems about lgbtq related things and religion, as well as other stuff too. I was raised catholic, so realizing that I was “different” at more than one point in my teen years was scary AF. Being a member of the lgbtq+ community and also trying to still feel like I belong, or wanting to, in a religious community is hard, the two things are usually at a crossroads in my life so writing about them makes it easier for me to get through. My hope is that someday someone reads what I wrote and finds some peace in their own life/experience.”

Vince | art instagram

“Well, being transgender I feel like I’m constantly aware of the lack of representation of my community, and I feel like it might be because of that I tend to experiment with showing all sorts of different type of people in my work. Because there’s so much diversity in the world, why not showcase that?”

Fox | art instagram

“Oof…I’m gay so my characters always be gay. Gotta Fill the void in media w my own bullshit so I don’t have to rely on straight showrunners who will inevitably discard the character since they themselves seem to have no personal attachment and treat lgbt characters as disposable extras. Bc if I don’t at least attempt to create representation in the field I’m going into then I can’t rlly complain about the lack of it right? If I don’t try and change it I can’t complain about the lack of change so being an lgbt artist is lowkey Big Pressure to be revolutionary in your work but sometime…..I just wanna draw funkey animeal and that’s aight too”

Jen | twitter | instagram

“As a female bisexual poet, I worry often that my poetry and art will be too niche to be appreciated. I’ve spent years editing my poetry down to its barest bones in hopes that someone will relate to it. Changing pronouns back and forth because I worry that if I do talk about a woman, the poem will be stripped of its context and suddenly be about my queerness when in reality it never was. When I write about love and people I have dated and have crushed on, I want the poem to exist outside of the gender of who I love. I fear my authorial death will result in a complete misinterpretation of what I mean. When I write, it truly does not matter to me if I am writing about a woman or a man. If I feel what I write and I can make someone else feel it too does it matter that I also love women? I write what matters to me overall, regardless of gender, I try to make my poetry as true as possible. Sometimes, when I catch myself over editing I try to take myself back to the moment, to the person, what I loved about him or her. “

Lain | art instagram

“My LGBT Identity has significantly impacted almost all of my art, especially my work over the last two years. Ever since I have allowed myself to accept that I am trans and began my transition (6 months on T!), the impact that my Roman Catholic upbringing has had on my bisexual trans identity has bled into my artwork. Because of the way I was raised, accepting and allowing myself to be authentic has been an upward struggle. And what better way to process and document struggle than art?

Much of my recent work has had a focus on the trans body, particularly the “sanctity” of self-actualization and the god-like power that comes with accepting and creating yourself in the unique and exceptional way that LGBT people must in order to live authentically. Two of my pieces on this topic were actually recently exhibited at UWM in the Trans-lucent exhibition, and will remain there until December 15th (I think). I got sick and tired of never seeing trans representation, so now I am creating that space that I crave in my own work.”

Kobe | instagram | soundcloud

“My art from is very influenced by my LGBT identity. It is very influenced by my LGBT black Identity. I think that whenever an artist makes their art (in my case writing music, singing, dancing) they should incorporate as much of themselves as possible. I think my LGBT identity definitely adds a sense of representation as well. I want people like me to listen to my music to know they aren’t alone. So it influences my work a lot. “

Nat | art instagram

“I think the fact that I am part of the LGBT+ community influences my art directly. Even though I don’t draw as often as I wish, I believe both my drawings and college projects (I am a 3d art/animation student), and my creativity in general is inspired by my personal experiences as a gay woman and common things experienced by the community. I try as often as I can to bring representation of some kind in the things I do, mainly personal projects. I also feel that it influences me on my motivation to keep creating; whenever I listen to, see drawings, watch movies or see whatever form of artistic expression from LGBT+ artists it gives me the energy to keep going, to keep creating.”

#gay as in stupid podcast #lgbt podcast #lgbt artists #gay art #trans art

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venus-says · 5 years

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Aikatsu Friends! Episodes 52-57

The best of both worlds. Or is it?

⚠ ⚠ Warning! Very long post ahead, be prepared. ⚠ ⚠

I have a lot of things to say about this batch of episodes so I’ll skip an intro and go right away to it. Also because of the sheer amount of stuff I wanted to say I wrote this as a review instead of my reactions like I usually do with Aikatsu posts here on the blog. Anyway, let’s go.

Episode 52 starts promising, the stone appearing on Mio's bed is strange but that doesn't bothers me. The scene with everyone struggling at the 0 gravity room is fun and until this point the episode had me with a smile on my face. Even Aine's joke about the stone being cursed was good. But then it comes my first problem. Hibiki's back story doesn't add up with what we learned before from Mirai and Karen. From last season what's implied is that LMT went against Hibiki and Alicia in the zone and that was what made them "stop" aikatsu, this was the reason why LMT was so concerned about Mio being in the zone and the reason why Karen was afraid of doing it again. But from Hibiki's story the split up occurred before their turn on the DFC, and yes that could be a possibility - Alicia got the news, they went shaken to the stage, they lost, Alicia went back to her country and it would seem to everyone that the loss was the reason for the break up. But if that was the case we would be ignoring the fact that even though Hibiki and Mirai are rivals they're seem to be in very good terms with each other so she could tell her "No, it's not because of you guys, this happened so we're on hiatus" or something. And you can say "yeah but Alicia didn't want to go back and this and that", but Hibiki says she went to Alicia and the response she got was that she's not worthy of being her partner which means that in this scenario, for the people involved the problem would be on Hibiki, not Alicia, so once again Mirai would be able to openly go to her and talk things out. This seems like a small thing and it could be just a retcon, but if this is what they're considering the truth than this invalidates the entirety of the drama around the Aikatsu Zone from last season. And then we come to my other problem with this episode. First Mio gets selfish again, if you're a team you should strive to shine brighter with your partner. If you shine more than Aine things get uneven and Pure Palette goes anywhere, so this speech being part of the thing that triggers the jewel DOESN'T WORK. Second all of sudden they come up with "omg mio has a live today" and this is very unnatural, but this is a flaw of the format because for some reason they think they need to have a CG live every episode -which they don't need- and this creates situations like this, this live is completely non related to everything else we've saw in this episode alone. Which brings me to my next point, Mio getting her JLR in THE SECOND EPISODE OF THE SEASON. I'm sorry but to me is hard to believe this rock would acknowledge? Mio's radiance just from being with her for a single day, and a day where she didn't do ANYTHING. "We wanna showcase her new song" okay, you can do that, just don't make her JLR appear in the first time. This takes off the value of these coords and make them feel not special. And honestly this isn't something that difficult to write. You can leave everything as it is till the moment Mio is alone in the chamber, when she have that moment in space make her just feel something weird on the rock. On the live make she feel that same thing again. She can try to figure out what that rock is trying to say to her in the next episode, then in episode she does the live again and the change happens. This would have been SO MUCH BETTER. Yes is a quick resolve, but at least it would make us feel something. I don't feel nothing but rage after seeing how they made it happen in this episode, it doesn't feel worth of anything, just feels like protagonist plot armor. But hey, at least Sekai was Mawaru is a bop, I guess that's something good.

Episode 53 does a complete 180º turn and is basically perfect. Hibiki's prank show was amazing. It works perfectly as both comedy and drama. We can laugh hard at the extremely weird situations Hibiki comes up with and still feel how strong the bonds between each unit are. It's a great starting point for Hibiki's character to grow and is the first glimpse of hope we have for her relation with Alicia, and this pays off a little later on the episode with Alicia starting to reply back Hibiki's texts as she shows signs of wanting more of her than just being an unit on stage, and eventually picking up her call in the end. That's really good pay off. Even Pure Palette's live going on here makes sense, is to show Alicia what they can become once they come back again. The impact would be more impressive if PP performed Soko no Shikainai Mono in their diamond dresses, but oh well, this isn't enough to turn the episode bad.

One thing that is sad though is that PP new aura is so bland :/ not that I liked their old aura, but at least it was unique, this is just generic. But most importantly this episode gave us great reactions from Kaguya...

... and Mio being a freaking furry again.

Just perfect. XD

Episode 54 starts promising, is kinda of a call back (in a very smaller scale) to that episode where Aoi became Mizuki's manager for a day. Also getting to finally know Wakaba seems very exciting. But right before the opening we already have a red flag. Another magic rock is here. And judging by how Mio's episode went my excitement went all the way down to the underground. The episode pick itself up though. We have and amazing first half with Aine trying to be mature to impress Wakaba and being very weird at it. And I like how this plays out with the jewel disappearing since Aine's not acting as her true self and trying to be something that she's not. There's a good message on this.

Also Hibiki is having a Vegas residency outside Vegas and is just great to see. I also like Hibiki's speech about labels being bs and that you should thrive to be your natural self on situations, I think is very important to have a kids show putting these things out living on a world that seems to care more for appearances and how you fake yourself out to cause a good impression to others more and more each day. But then we hit a wall again. The rock being back makes sense, the rock turning into a jewel does not. There's no pay off here, and once again they make the jeweling dresses seem not special at all. And this, at least to me, makes an episode that was great become bad/medium. We're only 4 episodes in and all of the jeweling dresses introduced in the first part of the game are already here. And none of them feel special, not even Hibiki's. I can't say about Hibiki since she got her jewel before the season started, but Aine and Mio didn't work at all to receive these coords that are supposed to be worn just by idols who prove themselves worth of it. Disappointing. And is sad because Aine's JLR is my favorite of the 3 and I wish it had something more special going for it. Oh well.

Also wtf was that shady moment of Hibiki at the end asking who would get the next jewel? Did they forgot that she's not Elza, they just share the same VA? Like that was so random, we don't need this, stop.

Side note: Wakaba is adorable!!!

Episode 55 got me really excited. By the preview it was what I've always wanted for Friends and with my favorite characters, how couldn't I love this??? And well I loved it. Though I have a few points I dislike that would like to discuss. To start off, I don't like how they were so keen on showing that the shuffle wasn't a good thing. The impression it gives is that the show is saying you can have friends but only one person can be your best friend, and I think that's such bullshit. I was watching that I was like "uhhhhhh no". I understand Tamaki not being that happy because in a business stand point yes it is an anuisance but still if the girls get along, let them be. The second point I didn't like is how rushed everything was, yeah I get that this is a one episode only thing and they can't drag things for a long time, but it felt so uneven and so rushed the way they portrait the units. Which brings me to the next point of I don't really think that rock was necessary. I do believe they could come to all of those decisions on their own and the time spent with them going to the shrine could be used to show us more moments of the girls together to make the experience more meaningful to us.

And to my last bad point, the stages on this episode were just disappointing. First Mio's live at the beginning was completely unnecessary, if they needed something to use as starting point they could've shown HC watching the live on a tv or something and having that discussion somewhere else. Second I would like to see the shuffle units performing together, if not for a full live show us just the chorus. Heck I would be happy if it was just a png moving around of the girls performing each other's songs. But we got nothing of that, instead we got a recycled live of HC, which to me doesn't make any sense since RM was also a part of the shuffle and they could hold this event together and have both perform, and to make things interesting finally giving them their miracle auras, I bet everyone would like this more than just the DFC stage being recycled. Such a missed opportunity. But despite all of that, I still love this episode. Seeing my favorite idols interact in such a good and fun way was amazing, and even though I had those bad thoughts crossing my mind, I truly enjoyed watching this episode. I was so happy I didn't even took notes while watching, all I did was press the auto screenshot key all the time because I would start fanboying everything happening on screen. ALSO THANK YOU AIKATSU FRIENDS! FOR GETTING MY TWO KIDS TOGETHER. AT LEAST THIS YALL GOT IT RIGHT.

I don't have a lot to say about Episode 56. I'm glad they touched the subject I was complaining about on episode 52, but that still doesn't make things right. Hibiki could and should have talked about the matter with Mirai before. I like Karen confrontation with Hibiki, it was necessary. What I don't like is how after giving all that speech to Hibiki LMT just let's things to PP to resolve, and they do it in a very dumb way. I honestly don't know how that audition was supposed to help Hibiki. Oh well we could see space Mirai and space Karen who had outfits 10000x better than PP so. All flashbacks in this episode were kinda good, but honestly what a horrible name "I Believe" is for an unit??? Ang I guess that's all I have to comment on this episode. They made that mistake on Hibiki's card showing Garnet instead of Ruby but honestly I don't really mind it. Alicia was way too mean in the end imo, but I also don't really care. This episode got me really bored after that scene in the boat, I just can't be bothered too write more on this, sorry. XD

If I already had few things to say about 56, I have even less to say about 57. Specially considering that not a lot has happened here.

This episode seemed to be about Aine messing up her preparations before the trip and I think I'd have enjoyed if they went that route, it'd be funny to see Aine running around trying to get her passport. But instead they just threw all responsibility to Tamaki, which to be fair would be the right thing to do since she's an adult and their manager, but by doing that they take away everything that could make this episode interesting, specially because nothing else happened.

We had a press conference -that was unnecessary-, then the next few scenes are of Aine and the girls just sitting down, when was the time for conflict to finally start they just ignore it, then Aine magically has her passport and is in her home packing, then she has a live and they're on the plane. Nothing interesting happened.

We had a few cute scenes with Hibiki, I specially like her moment with Reflect Moon, but that's all this episode has going for it.

I also have a question. If Alicia really vetting the girls on her country, like she said last episode, couldn't she just deny their visa? This could make for a way more interesting conflict. Imagine PP and Hibiki having to think of ways to get inside the principality and the final decision they make is to go in as spies in the best Charlie's Angels fashion? Yes, is not realistic, but if they can have magical rocks who follow idols around they can make this.

And that’s it. Kagayaki no Jewel started very promising at first but there’s just SO MANY BAD DECISIONS. Is just sad. I’m very against the idea of it being a season of just 26 episodes instead of the full year but honestly if they keep doing this may it is for the best to be a shorter season.

Anyway, thanks for sticking by. See yall later.

#Aikatsu Friends!#Kagayaki no Jewel #aikatsu

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