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doginshoe · 3 years

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What You’d Do To Me Tonight

summary: Lucy had been in a blooming high school romance, but now that the love has wilted between her and her husband, she searches for a solace. However, she finds it in an already broken man that manages to set her alight in more ways then one. When her secrets spill, she finds her world begins to crumble from beneath her feet as the two men in her life torture her already broken heart.

tw: graphic violence mention of blood, aggressive language

tag list: @shadyhydrathesnekqueen @lovelyluce @trollka21@sobatsu @millennial-star-gazer @celestialspiritqueen@loveandlucky @theanxiouscupcake @mautrino @sereniii@celestialtitania @otaku-daydreamer-4673 @samanthaa-leanne @sevenlaila @albinoclifford @darkwingpegasus21 @i-live-off-pina-coladas

Chapter 10

His fingers twitched. The explosion of emotions began to make his blood boil as he threw the front door open, heart racing faster in his chest with every heavy step he took. This wasn’t what he had been expecting - the yelling outside coming closer as he sucked in a large deep breath, glare searching everywhere as he looked for her.

Jackal hadn’t been expecting this at all.

“Where the fuck is she?” He yelled, voice filled with anger as he threw down the bag in his hands, contents spilling across the floor as he continued to run rampant in the house.

His hands were shaking and the thought crossed his mind to turn back around and put his fist through her car window, but he restrained himself. The easier target was in the house - images of how he was going to put her in her place flashing through his mind as he made a bee-line for the staircase.

“Lucy!” Jackal’s hand tightened into a fist, nails piercing his palm from how tight he squeezed. “Lucy, come out here now you fucking bitch!”

Though, the voice that came from behind him had him freezing in place. The man he had seen outside, huffing out a cloud of smoke from a dwindling cigarette near the curb. His voice sent a shock through him, startled that someone else was here like a cold knife cutting through his stomach, but it soon turned to anger as he turned around to face him.

“Luce!” Natsu shouted, panic settling inside his chest before he fixated a glare on the man that he had run after. It had to be him, an older and more worn face from the pictures that he had seen littered around the house. Lucy’s husband. His brows narrowed as they locked their gazes, tension rising and becoming so thick in the room he found it harder to breathe.

Natsu swallowed, back straightening as he stood defensively - broad shoulders pulling back and hands tightening into barely constrained fists. He felt every muscle in his body pull taught and he struggled to keep his voice undercontrol as he growled, “Stay the fuck away from her.”

There was a thud from upstairs, the sound of footsteps echoing throughout the house and Jackal looked over his shoulder before bringing his gaze back to the stranger in front of him.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He seethed. “This is private property and none of your business. So, I’d suggest you get the fuck out of here.” The blood was rushing in his ears, burning his face - heart racing faster with every minute that he looked at the dark green eyes that were glaring back at him. It made him more furious than when Lucy would look at him. The man’s entire front doubled his rage as he festered and bubbled the pit of hot white aggression that was eating him up.

Natsu sneered. “We’re just leaving.”

“We?” Jackal stepped forward, brows knitting together tightly in confusion. “I don’t know what you think this is, but you have no right-”

The stumbling cut him off. The sound of footsteps coming down the staircase bringing his eyes over his shoulders to watch as his wife landed hard on her feet, shoulders shaking as she took in deep breaths. Jackal’s gut twisted, taking in her appearance - or what he could see. Her small frame was consumed in a jumper, loose tracksuit pants that were too big for her. She was wearing a man's clothes.

“Na..tsu,” She whimpered, the sound catching in her throat as she stared at him. Her brown eyes were blown wide, glassy with fresh tears. Though, they didn’t fall. The shake of her hands showed just how scared she was as her pupils darted towards Jackal instantly.

He couldn’t describe the emotion that filled him. A sour taste rising from the back of his throat as he felt his stomach sink. Jackal couldn’t take his eyes off of his wife, not even when the man beside him took a step towards his Lucy. His entire demeanor changed as he made a move to comfort her. His hands came out, shoulders dropping and his green eyes softening as he tried to reach out to her.

“Lucy, are you alright-”

Jackal’s heart was beating in his ears. The way he said her name made his gut twist and tumble as he felt a burning in his chest like no other. All of his thoughts could only boil down to one, the anger making him feel like he would explode as the veins in his arms protruded from how hard he clenched his fists.

“How could she dare do this to him?”

His lips pulled back as he hissed, “Dirty fucking whore!”

The words felt like ice, a chill coming over the room. His hazel eyes locked with Lucy’s, a pulsing starting in his temple and making his vision blur. It was hot - the rage made his chest feel tight. It was a weight that he was familiar with - when he had fallen to his lowest and the disappointment, guilt and self-loathing in himself that had made him so angry for so long that it had taken up permanent residence in who he was. Yet, it was entirely different. A nausea was taking over and he couldn’t think straight, his entire body locked on the woman in front of him.

But, he couldn’t keep his eyes focused on her for long as he felt a firm hand tighten around his arm.

“Don’t you dare talk to her like that.”

Lucy stared, her entire frame frozen in place as Natsu got up in Jackal's face. He was seething, teeth bared as his hands were curled into fists at his sides. She didn’t know what to do as she watched him shout in her husband’s face, her lungs felt constricted and she couldn’t breathe. Her fingers gripped down harder on the contents in her hands as Jackal swayed slightly from the jerk on his body, glare turning away from her as his jaw locked tight.

“Don’t think I’m going to let you go anywhere near, Lucy. Not after what you’ve done. How could you fucking lay a hand on her?” Natsu was boiling, dark gaze piercing him as his shoulders shook. “You’re disgusting!”

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Jackal pushed him back, stepping away and shaking the hand off his arm as he seethed. His entire demeanour was deadly, voice low and threatening as he hissed, “I don’t need this shit. If you don’t leave then I’m calling the police.”

Natsu stood his ground, not letting him walk away from him as he took another step closer. “I’d like to see you try,” He spat, hand coming up to point at Lucy as she kneeled at the bottom of the staircase. “You really think they’ll see her and not haul your ass to jail? Hell, I hope you do call em.’ Jail is where filth like you fucking belong.”

Jackal's eyes turned to her and she shook, her mind reeling as she went to recoil. His glare sent a fear through her that flipped her gut and she couldn’t stop herself as she fell back onto her butt, but Natsu’s voice was cutting through the tension, hand grabbing onto the collar of his shirt as he brought Jackal’s attention back to him.

“Don’t you fucking look at her. You don’t have the right”

Lucy’s husband sneered, hazel eyes turning furious as he looked at Natsu - his disgust was written across his face. “Who do you think you are? That’s my wife. I’ll do whatever the fuck I please.”

He tightened his fist around the top of his shirt, Natsu’s anger flaring as his jaw clenched. His blood was pumping through him, heart pounding in his ears but he hung onto every word that came out of his mouth - the heat inside of his chest burning him up as he held himself back.

“Shut up,” He growled. “Just shut your fucking mouth.”

Jackal’s lips pulled up, his brows drawn inwards as he laughed bitterly. “You should really leave, buddy. I think we have this sorted out.” The words were laced with venom, spitting out each syllable as he grabbed onto the fist at his throat. “We’re going to have a nice long talk and she won’t have the chance to run to any deadbeats like you that chase after her.”

“Lucy!” Natsu yelled, but his hand only tightened its grip further on Jackal’s shirt, stitching ripping whilst nails bit down into his wrist. “Get up. It’s time to get out of here.”

Though, the blonde didn’t move. Her legs were numb as her eyes rounded in her shock. Her husband’s next question made her heart skip, the chill freezing her over whilst her gaze was locked on the movement of his lips and the way he gripped onto Natsu. Then suddenly, she couldn’t hear anything. The sound of her breathing becoming too loud in her own ears.

“What is she doing to have you so worked up anyway? Come on, tell me. Is she fucking you, huh?” His lips thinned as he growled. “Suits the filthy fucking whor-”

Lucy didn’t realise she was screaming, hands coming up to shield her face from what was happening in front of her as she squeezed her eyes shut.

He had snapped, Natsu lunging forward as he raised his fist in the air. He grabbed onto Jackal, breathing heavy as he threw his fist toward his face. He was knocked back from the impact, but Natsu didn’t give him a chance to recover before he pushed him up against the wall. The sound of something breaking on the floor reached his ears, but he was already screaming in his face, too far worked up to care as he pressed his forearm against his throat.

“I said shut up! Don’t you dare talk about her like that.” Natsu’s heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, his knuckles throbbing with pain as he glared at Jackal - the blood beginning to trickle from his nose. “She showed up at my door last night barely fucking conscious and you think you can talk such fucking bullshit?” He felt the pulse in his neck twitch as he leaned further in, arm crushing the pinned man’s trachea as he seethed.” She was covered in blood and bruises from YOU!”

“Shut your fucking mouth. You have no idea what you’re talking about you little cunt,” Jackal snarled as his hands grabbed onto Natsu’s shoulders, trying to push the man off of him.

“Natsu, stop it! Please,” Lucy sobbed, but she was drowned out as they continued to breathe down the others neck, tensions high as both males glared at the other.

The tendons in his neck tightened as Natsu grit his teeth. “I know that you’re an abusi-”

They were on the floor before Natsu could finish, Jackal’s knee having come up and knocking the wind out of him as it dug hard into his stomach. Lucy’s husband pushed him back, toppling them over as his head smacked into the ground - a sharp ringing resonating in his ears as he felt a weight fall on him.

He struggled to breathe, taking in a large gulp of air before Jackal struck him. The pain exploded on the side of his face as his head snapped to the side from the blow. The force made his vision blur before his body was reacting, the need to escape overriding any thoughts while he only just made sense of what was happening around him. The blow came down again and again before Natsu thrashed and pulled his arms up, a wet feeling beginning to trail into his hair as he yelled out in fury.

Natsu’s hands came up to shield his face, blocking the next swing as he grabbed onto Jackal’s arm. His fingers gripped down into the flesh before he pushed it to the side, pulling his balance off as he swung his body alongside the momentum. Everything moved quickly, every sound merging into one as he took the power from Jackal and raised his fist.

“Stop! Stop! Stop! Please, Stop it!”

His chest felt heavy as he swung, breathing laboured but he didn’t stop his assault as he punched over and over again. The pain in his hands screamed, burning as they cracked on Jackal’s jaw and the high point of his cheek bone. There was blood pouring down Natsu’s face from the fresh split on his brow and his eyes were dark as he glared down at the man beneath him. Jackal’s expression was twisted, the red liquid coming from his broken nose covering his mouth and dripping down his neck. This was the man that had hurt Lucy, the one who had hit her-

Natsu didn’t want to stop.

“Please,” The blonde whispered. “Please, please, please. Just stop it.” Her hands pulled at her hair, palms covering her hands over her ears but she could still hear the scuffle on the floor - pained cries deafening her as she desperately tried to block it out. Though, every crack of a fist coming down sent sickening shocks through her body, again and again before the yelling filled her ears.

Natsu grabbed onto Jackal’s shirt and pulled him up, his lungs burning as he heaved in more air, but it wasn’t enough. “How could you do that? How could you hurt her like that? She’s your fucking wife!” He threw him to the floor and a gurgle erupted from Jackal’s throat before he spit blood.

“You don’t know shit...” His voice was raspy, oxygen struggling to make its way to his lungs. “It’s all her fault. She’s the reason-” Jackal brought his shaky hands up and tightened their grasp around Natsu’s wrists. “I lost everything!”

The man beneath him struggled against Natsu’s weight, scratching at the arms that were pinning him down. They were both breathing heavy and neither relented as the need to hurt the other flared in their gaze - seeing red.

“Just shut up!” Natsu grit his teeth, feeling Jackal's nails pull down his arms as he fought to keep himself on top. He could feel his shoulders buckle, muscles waning as he tried to hold the other man down. “You- You had no right!”

He was drawing blood. Jackal pressed his fingers so tightly into Natsu’s flesh that skin was bunching under his nails, tiny droplets of blood surfacing as he raked them down his forearm.

“What do you know?” He seethed. “She was just something to stick your dick in. You don’t know anything about us!”

“I said stop!” Lucy screamed, her throat burning and voice hoarse as she cried. “You can’t do this!” She was shaking, shoulders bouncing with each sob that left her lips. “I- I can’t let this… Please don’t hurt e-each other.” Though she felt weak as she remained glued to the floor, the weight kept her locked in place as her heart beat wildly in her chest, breathing becoming more laboured as she bit her lip to stop the whimpers from bubbling up and spilling from her throat. Brown eyes only able to watch on as she sat on the cold wooden floor beneath her - tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Natsu…” Her voice felt raw, the cry coming out scratchy. “Please!”

It felt like being shot. The pitchy voice that screamed his name sending a cold shiver through the blind aggression that had consumed him. Natsu was almost numb to the soft tugging. His whole body felt as if it were on fire, burning from the inside as his heart pounding against his chest. Sweat had broken out on his forehead, blood sliding down his face, but he could barely feel anything but the heat that was rolling off his body and the small voice that was begging for him to relent.

He held himself up - no longer looking at the man positioned beneath him. Natsu exhaled each breath like a steam train, hot air burning it’s way up his throat as his nostrils flared. Instead his dark green eyes had fixed themselves on the sobbing blonde, her hands desperately wiping the tears away from her face that was blotchy and red.

“Please… Just- just stop…” She whispered it so quietly that her pleading could barely be heard over the tension in the room, but his ears caught onto every word. “I can’t… I can’t take this anymore. I-I… I don’t… w-want you to hurt him.” The sound of her soft cries echoed, the only noise accompanying it being the heavy breathing as the intense atmosphere in the house fizzled.

She hung her head and Natsu could only watch as she cried, curled into herself as a mess on the floor. His heart ached, the heat being replaced with an overwhelming sadness that crept into every crevice of his being, but not for himself. He hurt for Lucy.

“You’re pathetic,” Jackal hissed, snapping Natsu’s attention back to the man underneath him. “One word and you come running like a fucking lost puppy. She was using you, can’t you see that?” He was struggling to speak, each word leaving his mouth making his panting harder, but his glare remained fierce. “Or are you that much of an idiot? That bitch was fucking you and then would come home to me for the same thing.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to shut your mouth?” Natsu seethed, brows drawing in. “I don’t wanna hear a word you have to say.” He pushed Jackal’s arms back, using his weight to crush him against the floor before he stood up, knees buckling slightly and forcing him to hold himself up against the wall.

The adrenaline had dwindled, the exhaustion kicking in as Natsu struggled to hold himself up. His entire body felt tingly and dragged down from an invisible weight. It was heavy on his shoulders and made his feet feel like bricks, but he ignored it in favour of righting himself up. He brought a hand to his chest, a weak attempt at calming the erratic muscle that was still pumping inside his chest before putting one foot in front of the other as he made slow steps towards Lucy.

Jackal brought a hand up to his face, propping himself up on a shaky elbow as blood continued to trickle from his nose. He took in heavy gasps. Though, he kept the same deathly expression, narrowed eyes pointed at the blonde on the floor and the backside of the other man.

The man that he knew gave Lucy the marks that he had seen on her neck.

“Go on!” His lips felt sticky as he yelled, the blood already beginning to dry a dark rouge on his face. “Take back that dirty slut after everything she did! Like hell would I ever want her.”

Natsu felt like his body would give out on him as he crouched beside the weeping blonde. His legs shook and he had to keep both hands flat on the floor to make sure that he didn’t waver and really did fall to the floor. His muscles hurt, physically exhausted as his mind tried to desperately keep up to where he was in the present moment.

“Come on, Lucy,” Natsu murmured, keeping his voice low. “...Let’s go… Let’s go home.”

However, she didn’t look up. Only keeping her head in her hands as she continued to cry. Her hands were still trembling. The fabric of the hoodie was bunched in tight grasps, but it couldn’t stop the slight shake of her wrist.

“Don’t think that you can ever come back here. We’re done once you walk out that door, you hear me?” Jackal watched, lips pulled up into a snarl. “Lucy.”

She couldn’t look up, lower lip trembling. She didn’t want to see what she’d find. The way Jackal said her name was like a knife cutting into her. A cold pool of water dropped in her stomach making the hairs on her neck stand as her thoughts raced through her mind. Lucy couldn’t speak, she couldn’t move - she didn’t want to.

Lucy was scared.

“Hey.”

The voice made her shrink, trying to make herself smaller on the floor.

“It’s… It’s alright.” Natsu’s voice. “Stand with me now. We don’t hafta be here anymore, Luce.”

She could hear something sliding across the floor as Natsu picked something up. His heavy breathing beside her as he sat there and waited - not leaving her when she knew that he should. It would be so much easier if he had never met her. This mess wouldn’t have been made if she wasn’t so-

“You ready?”

When she finally lifted her head she felt like she was pushing against gravity, the strain in her neck making itself known with a pain that went straight down her spine. Her vision was blurry, tears still making their way down tracks on her red blotchy cheeks as she made eye contact with Natsu.

He didn’t smile, his facial expression looking worn and tired with blood spilling from his brow. He only held out a hand to her, the other cradling her photo albums close to his chest. The sight squeezed her chest and caused more tears to flow as she shakily put her hand in his, letting him slowly pull her up. They both swayed slightly, but lent on each other before the other could stumble.

Natsu squeezed her hand softly, keeping his eyes locked with hers for a moment before he gestured for her to walk in front of him. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. You can go, it’s okay.”

She wordlessly moved, feeling as if she was on autopilot as she sought out the front door. Lucy didn’t look behind her, only moving slowly enough that she could still feel Natsu’s presence at her backside - keeping her safe as she kept her arms locked around her waist.

“You think she’s everything, don’t you?” Jackal yelled. “That she’s the sun in such a dark fucking world. But you don’t know her like I do.” He had got to his feet now, legs shaking as he wiped at his nose - hissing in pain from the slightest touch. “We were happy too once. I thought she was everything.”

Natsu paused, hand resting on the door frame. His eyes stayed locked on Lucy in front of him as she too stood in place.

“And look where we ended up. It all turns out the fucking same.” He stumbled forward, quickly resting a hand on the wall as he slouched over before he spat onto the floor. “She’s not worth any of this. You’re just going to end up like me- When she fucks you over and ruins everything! You’ll be nothing. Isn’t that right, Lucy? You’re just going to stand back as he does it all, just like-"

The door slammed before Jackal could finish, yet he continued to yell as Natsu ushered Lucy away from the house and towards the car. Neither spoke a word to one another as he took the keys and helped her into the passenger side. Only when the engine started did Natsu turn to her, his expression pinched into something unreadable.

“Did you grab everything?”

“...Y-yeah… I think so,” Lucy whispered.

Natsu nodded, “Good,” before he shifted the car into reverse. Not wasting any time as he put as much distance as he could between him, the house, and whatever thoughts that had crossed his mind in that moment.

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doginshoe · 4 years

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What You’d Do To Me Tonight

tw: Brief mention of abuse

I would like to thank @rougescribe and @bmarvels for betaing this. It's always so much help to have an extra pair of eyes read through something, especially when I'm doubting my work. Check out their writing if you can!

tag list: @shadyhydrathesnekqueen @lovelyluce @trollka21 @sobatsu @millennial-star-gazer @celestialspiritqueen @loveandlucky @theanxiouscupcake @mautrino @sereniii @celestialtitania @otaku-daydreamer-4673 @theweiszguy @samanthaa-leanne @sevenlaila @albinoclifford @darkwingpegasus21 @i-live-off-pina-coladas

chapter 8.

The sound of a dull thud stirred Lucy awake that morning. She was warm, fingers tightening over the blanket that she had pulled over her chest and she snuggled further into the soft cushion beneath her. It was comforting, though she had definitely felt better days. There was a fog in front of her mind as she let the heat wrap around her, an ache that started around her hips and throbbed all the way around her body incessant on making itself known as soon as she tried to dive back into the lull of sleep. Her eyelids were heavy, already stinging from the light that was peeking in from her bedroom windows, but she refused to meet its bright rays today.

She was tired and in pain - Lucy wanted nothing more than to rest.

A loud clatter jolted her upright before she could let the confines of her exhaustion wrap around her. Her puffy brown eyes snapped open, taking in the living room around her to then whip her head to look at the source of the noise coming from behind her.

Natsu was there, his face turned towards her like a deer caught in headlights as he clutched a cup in his hands that seemed to have fallen off the bench. Lucy had to adjust her eyes as he settled it down, lips already pulling up as he brought his hand up to scratch at the back of his head.

This wasn’t her bedroom.

His lips pulled up after a moment, his eyes softening as he looked at her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake ya.”

She blinked - her eyes locking with his before her face dropped, quickly breaking their contact as she felt a tug in her chest - embarrassment making her cheeks warm as she turned her gaze to the floor. The shock of waking up rippled the surface of her memories as she realised why she was on Natsu’s couch. Her heart ached, eyebrows scrunching before she flittered her gaze back up to meet his.

Right. Her and Jackal had-

Natsu was still looking at her, his expression tense, he placed the cup down on the countertop before leaning against it. “Did you get a good sleep?” His voice cut through the thick atmosphere, the sound rough from it’s morning rasp and she realised that he couldn’t have been awake much longer than she had. His pink locks were still strewn in every direction, some sticking up towards the ceiling that made her cheeks darken. The way he was watching her made her uncomfortable as he waited for her response, his usually bright eyes dark with emotion, but he was still trying to strain a slight smile for her.

“I know the couch isn’t very comfortable, especially…” He let the sentence die, fingers drumming on the bench as he pushed the thought aside.

Especially when you’re sharing it with someone else.

It wasn’t a big deal. They had slept together. Just sleeping. He didn’t want to move after she had finally passed out on his chest, but Natsu felt it was out of place to say it outloud - to give the action more meaning than there was. It only served to make him feel off, and he didn’t want to know how Lucy would react. Natsu didn’t want to give rise to those emotions. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on it. He didn’t think there ever would be a time. Instead he settled to carry the conversation elsewhere as he started again, “You know how old the thing is. I’m sure you had a few broken springs diggin’ into ya throughout the night.”

“Oh, it-”

Her hand reached for her throat, coughing as her voice felt like scraping nails through her windpipe. Yet, each puff of air that left her lips had her eyes watering, throat searing as she tried to stifle the spasm of her lungs. Each heave of her shoulders sent a jolt of pain down her body making Lucy feel dizzy, her eyes closing shut as she tried to calm down.

“Oh, shit.” Natsu turned back, the sound of running water reaching Lucy’s ears as she clutched at the skin of her neck, though she winced as her finger tips made contact with the tender flesh.

She bit onto her bottom lip, keeping in the cry that wanted to leave her as it would only make the pain worse. Lucy felt sick as she remembered the hands that caused the bruises that were now imprinted onto her. She didn’t want to imagine what they looked like, her eyes sliding shut. She didn’t want to know what she looked like right now. The injuries that were littered across her entire body now flaring up as the memories surged back to the forefront of her mind.

She pulled her hand away to instead thread her fingers into the red fabric of the jacket resting near her collarbones, squeezing tight as she felt her throat burn.

“Hey, hey-” He was by her side, warm hands gently touching her upper arm and pulling her back into the moment. “Here. Drink up. You need some water.”

She opened her eyes again, sniffling slightly as she saw Natsu in front of her - green irises watching in concern as his lips were pulled down into a frown. Lucy raised a shaky hand up as she accepted the glass of water he was pushing towards her, though she kept the other still close to her throat.

She knew he’d seen it. There was no way that Natsu was able to miss the marks on her body after he had been the one to clean her up last night. Yet, she still tried to conceal it - gaze flickering to her lap and away from him as she took a small sip of the cool liquid.

She tried not to let the tingles down her throat bother her, feeling like just that small amount was too much for the swollen glands as she swallowed - the sound loud in her ears as she sat in silence. She brought the glass down to her lap, keeping her hand flat against the smooth surface to stop it from shaking.

“Th-than-“ The hum of her vocal cords still hurt, voice coming out strained and croaky, and she paused to take another drink until she finally sighed. “Thank you…”

Those words hung in the air, their meaning not quite coming across properly as Lucy almost whispered them. She felt awkward. There was a lot she should be thanking him for. Not just for a measly cup of water, but Lucy didn’t quite feel like elaborating further for him. There was a weight in her chest, holding her perfectly still as she tried to look everywhere but at Natsu.

“No sweat.” Natsu kept his gaze on her, hands moving back immediately from where he had touched her arm. “How’re you feeling?” He didn’t let his gaze wander, focusing solely on her eyes as he watched her - the worry that had settled into his chest beginning to rise as she struggled to take in air.

Lucy forced a strained quirk of her lips, pulling the jumper higher as she sunk down. “F-Fine.”

“Really, Lucy -”

“I’m okay… Natsu,” She said, but the high pitch tone of her voice betrayed her and she had to force her gaze up slightly. “Really, I’m fine.”

Dark green eyes watched her and Lucy felt her gut twist whilst he studied her. Her nails bit down, picking at the fabric and she had to force herself not to look away. She felt nervous in front of him, a hollow feeling surfacing in her chest as she recoiled.

He knew. There was no pretending, no lying anymore, but she couldn’t fight down the shame that was building up inside her. The weight was getting heavier and heavier, muscles tightening as she squeezed the glass in her grasp.

His hand moved to take the glass from her, not thinking as he reached for her before Lucy visibly pulled back. The water jostled in her grasp and she opened her lips to say something, but nothing came out as they locked eyes - Natsu pulling back as his frown deepened.

They were both skirting around the edge, neither saying a word. The house felt suffocating. The presence of what had happened not leaving and refusing to be ignored, but Lucy wasn’t budging and Natsu didn’t know what to do. His thoughts were jumbled, still trying to work himself through his feelings as he tried his best to make the right choice. Whatever that was. He knew what he needed to do, to be there for Lucy as someone she could rely on, but there was no manual on what steps he had to take. He felt like he was running blind and she was the unfortunate sucker stuck hanging at his side.

He sighed before he stood and tousled his hair, walking away from her and back into the kitchen. She tried to settle her breathing - Lucy unsure when her heart had started beating so rapidly in her chest as she took another tentative sip of water.

“I was going to go to the store, but I didn’t want you to wake up alone,” He started, voice far off in her mind as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “So, the kitchen’s pretty empty but-”

She shouldn’t be here.

Lucy tried to take a breath. In and out. Yet, it wasn’t helping. Her eyes began to sting, blurring with unwanted tears as her throat burned. She tried to swallow down the lump that had formed, but she couldn’t break it down. There was too much for her to think about, her emotions becoming sporadic as she struggled to keep them under control.

She pulled her hand away from her neck, downing the rest of her water as she gripped the cup with both hands. The water dribbled down her face from her quivering lip, dampening the jumper she wore. Natsu’s jumper - That he had given her because she had shown up here with her problems.

Her hands were trembling when she turned to put down the glass, fists tightening before squeezing her eyes shut. Though, the tears dropped onto her cheeks and she had to scrub at her face, flushing from the frustration that was beginning to take hold of her. Lucy let out a shaky breath as she adjusted herself, sitting up straight on the couch as the blanket bunched around her hips.

“Sorry, it’s all I have left.” Natsu’s footsteps were heavy on the ground, coming back as he fell into the couch with another heavy sigh and a packet in his hands. He opened it, fiddling slightly before offering it to Lucy. “Breakfast is served.”

She flicked her gaze down beside her and to the bag of cashews that he was offering her.

“I’m not hungry…” Her voice quavered as she curled her arms around herself, forcing another smile at the man next to her. Though, it was weak, looking similar to a grimace rather than what she wanted to show him. “Thank… Thank you though.”

She tried not to bite the inside of her cheek, feeling sick as those words left her lips again. Thank you… like she had any right to have even ask him- to even show up here after what she had done to him.

This wasn’t right. She felt so wrong and it hurt. That pain sat directly in her chest, below her heart. It was etching itself across her ribs and spreading down to her stomach. Her thoughts only picked up the speed, making her more upset as Natsu sat across from her.

Guilt. Lucy knew of it well after all these years and it was burning through her like wildfire.

“You should really eat something, Lucy.”

Natsu wasn’t attempting to smile anymore, his gaze dark as he turned his body towards her. His brow was pinched together in concern, jaw clenched. Sympathetic care for the woman beside him.

“I’ve got you some pain-killers too. I’m no doc, but I figured it would help.”

It was the only reason he was helping her. She knew it. He was just waiting for her to leave, for her to pack up her mess and get out of his face so he didn’t have to deal with the maniac in his house anymore. He fixed her up because he had no other choice. Natsu didn’t want her here. He just felt sorry for her, that she was so useless that she couldn’t even hold her own marriage together.

Lucy hated it.

She shifted uncomfortably as she kept her eyes down. She didn’t move as he shuffled, the crinkle of foil resounding throughout the small room before he put down panadol on the coffee table alongside her empty cup. The bag of nuts stayed out stretched to her.

All he wanted was to make this better. His thoughts centered around giving Lucy everything she needed as he tried his best to work out what that was. He hated seeing her like this. It made him feel sick. Whether he wanted to admit it before or not, but she was someone he cared about. If he could do anything right in his life then he knew it was helping her. Though, it would be easier if she would let him - her passive refusal not going unnoticed.

Natsu was stubborn.

“I can go get you some more water to take it with,” He mumbled, more to himself, but still loud enough for her to hear. He felt so frustrated. “We could go to the shops- Well, I can walk in.” Natsu looked at her, taking in every bruise as he corrected himself. He was such an idiot. There was no way she would want to walk around in public when she was in pain. “You don’t have to come in… We can get whatever you want to eat. If you don’t like cashews, that is.”

She didn’t answer. Not that she wanted to, but she couldn’t get the words out, throat constricting as Natsu spoke. The weight was beginning to suffocate her. Her ribs feeling as if they were enclosing around her heart.

His lips turned up, making the effort that she wouldn’t. “Or we could get groceries delivered.”

She didn't miss the slight strain of his smile, it was barely noticeable but it stood out to her. Of course, he didn’t want to be seen with her. With the way Lucy looked... Her hand climbed up to once again pull the jumper up to try and hide her neck. She didn’t want to imagine the many gazes that would be on her. How everyone would know.

"Saves a walk and pulling all those bags all the way here." He pushed out more words, as if to fill the silence between them as much as possible. "The cabinets are mostly dust right now so I feel sorry for the poor sucker who has to deliver them." He tried for a chuckle, but it was forced - unnatural as it spilled from his lips.

Though, Lucy wasn’t listening anymore. Her mind became blank as she blurted out her next words, interrupting Natsu’s rambling. “I.. I have to go.”

Natsu paused, his smile falling. “What?”

“I have to go,” She said, voice firmer. Her eye’s finally moved up, meeting his surprised gaze as a silence passed between them. His face twisted, eyebrows narrowing as his lips turned down into a frown, but Lucy wasn’t giving him time to speak.

She pulled the blanket to the side, bringing herself to stand up until her knees buckled. The blonde fell forward, her ankle surrendering under her weight as pain shot up her body. Her head spun, the sudden movement making her feel faint as she swayed. Yet, strong arms were wrapping around her before she crumbled - held firm around her waist, stilling her before pulling her to lean against a hard chest.

Lucy yelped at the contact, trying to pull away but the feeling of falling having her hands wrapping around him before she could stop herself as she struggled to stand. Her breathing was heavy, adrenaline rushing through her and causing her whole body to tremble. Neither said a word, moment continuing to pass as they were joined together awkwardly in a hug. Though, they didn’t move - only letting the seconds tick by as the blonde got hold of her bearings.

When Lucy finally looked up, her brown eyes watering as she met Natsu’s own, he was already looking down at her. He had taken on that same look, the one from last night that didn’t suit him - an expression that was pinched with an underlying pain as he stared at her.

He moved his hands, coming instead to hold her arm in order to keep her stable. His lips were drawn down, eyes already knowing her answer but seeming to ask her the question anyways.

“Go where, Lucy?”

She always loved Natsu’s warmth. It was what contrasted him to Jackal. Where her husband was cold, an explosion of dark anger - Natsu was always light. She didn’t like how that changed now. How he was looking at her with so much furry ladened underneath green eyes. Lucy had never seen it before and she felt the air leave her lungs, a jolt of energy to rip herself away from him rushing through her.

She had faltered, her mind glitching like the sizzle of static on an old TV. She saw Natsu first, his dark irises while he held her causing a pool of heat to rush to her cheeks, but then Natsu wasn’t there anymore. Instead, Jackal glared at her and the grip on her arm felt too tight as she recoiled. It felt all too real, fear seizing her before she had a chance to catch herself.

Natsu let her slip out of his grasp, though he watched her carefully as she grabbed onto the arm of the couch, holding herself up as she lifted her twisted ankle off the floor as she was too uncertain to stand on it fully.

“I-I can’t stay here,” She bit out, forcing herself to speak as tears fell down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure when she had started crying. Though, Lucy had been doing that a lot lately. Her eyes constantly bloodshot and teary.

“Yes, you can. Sit down, Lucy.” He looked like he wanted to pull her back to him, but Natsu wasn’t moving an inch - already struggling to control the level of his voice. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not happening.”

She leaned back, though didn’t let up her grip on the arm of the couch. “I should have never come here! This.. This isn’t your problem, Natsu.” She sucked in a breath, trying to not choke on her tears, but it felt so hard for her to speak to him openly. “..I’m s-so sorry. I never wanted you to have any part in this.”

His frown deepened. “Don’t do this. Please.”

Lucy shook her head, no longer listening to him as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Please, Natsu. You don’t have to pretend… f-for me..”

She was shaking, hands trembling and her breathing becoming more laboured with each intake of her lungs. She was so stupid to come here. Who did she think she was? Lucy had caused enough damage by using Natsu for her own selfish reasons.

He didn’t deserve this.

“Pretend?” He raised his voice, Lucy wincing in response, and Natsu tried to pull himself together. Yet, his anger was beginning to surge - the thought of what Lucy was accusing him of only adding to the fire that was building. “Lucy, please.. Do you really think I’m doing this ‘cause I have to?“

“I know what happened between us..” He let out a frustrated growl, pushing a hand through his hair. That wound was still tender, he had to admit, but Natsu knew that wasn’t important right now. “Just because of what we’ve been through doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. What’s done is done and I’m going to look after you.”

“I’m not your clean up job, Natsu!”

“I never said that you were!” He hissed. “Would you please listen to me? I don’t know everything, I know, but I don’t care, Luce. Just look at yo-” His throat closed up, his own eyes becoming watery and he had to tear his gaze away, bringing a hand to his mouth as he took a deep breath. “Where do you even think you’re going to go? Because I’m not letting you go back there.”

Go back there...

The thought bubbled up, the question that had been on her mind last night as she had left the house on foot with nothing but the clothes she was wearing - where would she go? Lucy knew the only place left for her was with Jackal. They had played this game before. She couldn’t count the amount of times she had slept in her car, or Jackal had been missing from the house for days.

This wasn’t any different. Except it was. He had something against her now. Jackal tried to kill her. Truly. Lucy didn’t doubt that he would’ve strangled her to death last night if she hadn’t defended herself, but what was she to do…

She wanted to laugh, but she was sobbing even harder. “I- I don’t know…”

The blonde brought her hand up to her face, trying to shield herself from him as she broke down completely. “Natsu, I.. I don’t know w-what to do…”

“Lucy…” He was cautious, swallowing thickly as he watched her crumble once again. “Lucy, please.” Natsu took a deep breath, his hands coming up as they reached out for her - watching her barely holding herself up as she cried.

He couldn’t stand it.

She didn’t deserve to feel this way. No one did. He had his own share of mistakes. Natsu knew how painful being betrayed by someone could be - he had experienced it so much of his life. Constantly surrounded by pain from people that he had trusted. Yet, at the same time, he knew that he would never truly understand Lucy. The very thought of what she had been through-

“Hey,” he spoke softly, slowly closing the distance. “Lucy?”

She shook her head, not looking up at him. She didn’t want to see how he was looking at her, the pity in his eyes as he saw how pathetic she was. Lucy wanted to curl up and disappear. She didn’t want to make these decisions and she… she didn’t want to hurt Natsu anymore.

“I know this hard, but I’m here.” His voice was barely above a whisper, so soft as he tried to coax her towards him, doing what he knew best, but he needed her permission. “Just let me be here for you.”

She choked on a sob, her brain screaming at her, yet, she wrapped her arms around him as soon as he pulled her closer. The distance between them dwindling as his arms encircled her before she pushed her face against his chest. Her tears were soaking into his shirt, small hands clutching tightly onto him. He knew that there was one thing he could do for her now - to be that stability that she needed in a moment where she didn’t have anything left.

“It’s..” Natsu hesitated with his next words, hands tightening around her form tighter in his arms as he contemplated if he really believed what he was going to tell her. Yet, he knew he believed in Lucy even if she didn’t. “It’s going to be okay, Luce.”

“N-no… It isn’t,” She cried, “This isn’t o-okay, Natsu.”

He held her tighter, refusing to let go as he buried his nose in her hair. “We’re friends.” The term felt off as it left his lips, feeling as though it didn’t quite reach where their relationship truly was, but he pushed it aside. “I’m gonna help you anyway I can, which means you can stay here as long as you like.”

“But I-”

“Don’t.” Natsu pulled back just enough so that he was looking into her teary eyes, his expression serious. “You’re not doing this alone anymore, Lucy. I promise you.”

Her lips curved down, the tears rolling down her cheeks. “Everything t-that’s happened-”

“Doesn’t matter,” He breathed, leaning in close. His forehead pressed against her own, but Lucy made no move to back away. Their grasps tight as they stared into the others eyes. “I’m not backing down. We can do this- You can do this.”

“We can go grab your things and I can borrow a mattress from Gray. I don’t mind.” His green eyes were intense, burning with a determination that sent fear pooling in her gut alongside something she couldn’t quite place.

“You don’t have to call that place home anymore.”

Lucy smiled, a real smile that had her eyes shining as tears rolled down the rise of her cheeks. Her chest felt tight still, but warmth was spreading through her and wrapping around every part of her as she laughed before burying her face into his shoulder. It was weak and sounded more like a snort, but she didn’t care. The weight on her, for the first time in so long, feeling so much lighter than it had before as he held her close.

They had merely scratched the surface, she knew. There were so many issues that would eat her up inside when she had the time to think clearly, but for now she let his warmth consume her like before. The effect of Natsu that had her so drawn to him in the first place. It was selfish and naive, but she didn’t want to worry anymore. All Lucy wanted to do was melt in the hope that she knew wouldn’t last. She wanted to let herself rely on him, even for a moment.

Thank you.

#what you'd do to me tonight #fairy tail #nalu #fairytail #ft fanfiction #Nalu fanfiction #wydtmt #my writing #ft fanfic #Nalu fanfic #Natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #ft Jackal #Natsu x lucy #fanfiction #doginshoe #angst #abuse mention: tw #trigger warning

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doginshoe · 3 years

Note

Any updates on WYDTMT?

Between work and uni I don't have a lot of time so I haven’t been writing for the last couple of months. However, it still pops into my brain every now and again so it’s just a matter of time until I get back into it. Hopefully once this semester ends I’ll be able to do more.

Have this in the mean time. Chapter 11 preview:

“Not that it was drastic by any normal person's standards, but to Lucy - she couldn’t contain the confidence she felt. When she was able to choose her own looks, her own sense of self, she felt empowered and it gave her some control. That’s what Lucy had thought.

It was silly, but it brought a sense of gratification that she didn’t think anyone could take away from her. They could try, just like her father had, but she would always bring her own flare to every style. It’s what she had always been drawn to about beauty, but she should’ve known that even he could take that choice from her.

Her fingers traced over the cut on her lip first, brown eyes staring back at her whilst she looked in the mirror. Yet, it didn’t look like her. The Lucy she saw was unfamiliar. Her skin was marred. She looked ugly.

Staring back at herself, she felt like she was looking at a different person. Her chest felt numb whilst she pulled her eyes over every inch of herself that was available in Natsu’s small mirror. She had to swallow back the pain that she felt building up, throat dry as she tried to bring some moisture back into her mouth.”

#wip #wydtmt #anon #replies

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doginshoe · 4 years

Text

What You’d Do To Me Tonight

tw: Brief mention of abuse, mention of blood, aggressive language

tag list: @shadyhydrathesnekqueen @lovelyluce @trollka21 @sobatsu @millennial-star-gazer @celestialspiritqueen @loveandlucky @theanxiouscupcake @mautrino @sereniii @celestialtitania @otaku-daydreamer-4673 @theweiszguy @samanthaa-leanne @sevenlaila @albinoclifford @darkwingpegasus21 @i-live-off-pina-coladas

chapter 9 :)

Hearing the sound of wheels crunching against the road had never filled Lucy with so much fear and unease. It was the crunch as the taxi reversed, tyres smoothing over unsettled bitumen near the driveway before the car picked up speed and took off down the street. Each crackle had her feet tingling, the shivers climbing all the way up her back while she tried to swallow down the lump in her throat.

“Deep breaths.” Natsu squeezed her hand beside her. “I’m right here with you.”

The blonde didn’t tear her eyes from the house in front of her, taking in a deep steady breath to try and calm her nerves. “Okay.”

It didn’t help. Lucy felt cold, fingers numb in his grasp as he held onto her tightly. The world was dissipating from around her. The only focus being the building in front of her and the nerves that were sending a prickle from the bottom of her spine all the way to the base of her neck. She resisted the urge to shiver, to shake the feeling away. She knew that it wasn’t going anywhere.

Natsu stood firm, anchoring her in place. He felt like a heavy shadow more than anything else. A shadow that Lucy didn’t want. She had tried to tell him that she needed to do this on her own, but of course he hadn’t listened. Natsu had made a promise and he intended to keep it.

Even though it only increased the jitters that she was feeling.

He waited until she took the first step, not pushing her or pulling her back as he waited for the woman beside him to make her move. Silence passed, neither took a step forward. She tried to psych herself up as she kept her eyes locked on what was in front of her, but the clouds of doubt were already hanging over her mind. Lucy grit her teeth.

“Are you sure?” Her voice was meek, uncertain as she asked the question that was holding her back, seeking permission on whether she was allowed back into the place which she had called home.

“It’s your decision, Lucy, but you’re going to have to do it eventually. Your whole life was here and you can’t just leave it there.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth, sinking further into the large hoodie that she had changed into. It was a lot larger than the jacket he had given her that night, covered more and allowed herself to hide in its comfort. She made sure to push the hood up, concealing the bruises around her face and neck in its shadows.

Lucy sucked in a breath, feeling her heartbeat quickening inside her chest.

He was right. She couldn’t run away. Yet, it was all she wished she could do. The dark circles under her eyes were witness to that. A sleepless night alone in Natsu’s bed as she went over all her options. Lucy had wanted to scream. Though, only silent tears fell down her cheeks, wetting the pillow as she curled in on herself and wept. Her family photos, her car, cellphone, documents, laptop… Every single one of her possessions were there - stuck with him. The man she had married, who she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with.

This wasn’t how she wanted to go about things. It was all fucked up. Her plan to leave, every thought or lead she hung onto were tossed out the window. Lucy didn’t even take a step into independence. She was stuck in her corner. Scared, pathetic and ruined. This was going to make her lose everything. Her job, the house that she had and -

“Lucy.”

She blinked, eyes turning down as Natsu called her name. Her shoulders shook, taking in a deep breath before trying to pull herself together again. Lucy took a step forward onto uncertain ground, ankle throbbing with the weight of her step.

None of that mattered though. Not when Jackal was what she was facing. She had to know that this wasn’t going to be easy, that she would have to struggle and fall whilst picking up the pieces, but…

Her hand fell out of his when they came to the door, shaking Natsu off of her as she positioned herself in front of him. Her heart knocked against her ribs in time with her fist on the door. She didn’t even realise she was shaking, her arms coming to wrap around herself as she waited to be face to face with him. Again.

Lucy wanted to tell herself that this was just like every other time, but the looming presence behind her was all she needed to remind herself that it wasn’t. She wasn’t crawling back to Jackal again. This time was different and that was a good thing. Change was what Lucy hoped she needed, but it didn’t help that she felt like she was going to be sick. Her stomach churning with every second that passed, feeling like an eternity as Lucy pushed her gaze to the floor trying to steel her resolve.

“Is he home?”

Her body stiffened at Natsu’s voice, heart almost leaping out of her throat before she took a deep breath. She turned her brown eyes to him, his face already fixed to her as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. An answer was close to falling from her mouth, yet she hesitated.

Yes, of course he’s home. It’s a Saturday. We would watch shitty TV every Saturday.

That was a pastime that Lucy hadn’t done in years. The memory was vague and dated, barely scraping the surface of her mind when she was cuddled into his side as they laughed at the corny jokes with the stereotypical crowd applause in the background of reality shows. It hurt, a foreign pain that always lingered in her chest that restarted and Lucy had to swallow it down.

“I don’t know.”

The man that Jackal had become was a stranger to her. Only wearing the aged face of the person that she had once been so in love with when they were young. She couldn’t tell anyone how he spent his morning - probably with a hangover if she were to try guessing, but she couldn’t tell them how he would wake up and groan from the shining light or if he would take himself straight to the toilet where he would be sick from the lingering alcohol. Lucy couldn’t answer with a smile that he loved his eggs sunny side up or hard boiled or scrambled. He used to be so easy for her to read, but now she doubted that she ever really knew him at all.

Natsu sighed, his brows pinching inwards and Lucy fixed her eyes on the way his lips thinned as he pulled at the hair near the base of his neck. At least Natsu didn’t like eggs. That answer was simple, letting her brain become distracted from the feelings that were surfacing. They made her uncomfortable, the queasy feeling in her stomach increasing as they stood at her doorstep.

“What are we going to do then?” He asked.

She kicked her feet on the ground before huffing and let her eyes pull towards the side of the house. “Well-”

“Please tell me we’re going to have to break in.” His smile broke on his face before he finished, the first she had seen today and she couldn’t help the twitch of her own, rolling her eyes as she turned back to him.

“No.” Lucy started walking, investigating the bush around the corner of the house. Sticks poked into her side and leaves caught in her hair but soon she was picking up a small garden ornament in the shape of a grandfather clock. It was odd looking, but she had thought it was cute at a garage sale when she was twenty-one and it had found its use soon enough. The spare key was right where she had left it, underneath the weird character, and she made her way up to Natsu, jingling it around in her fingers. “You really think I would break into my own house?”

He shrugged, though the disappointed look was clear on his face. “Hey, I wouldn’t mind smashing a few windows. Let the guy have to pay some damage fees.” Natsu pinned her with a pointed stare before looking away. ”It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it.”

Lucy chose to ignore him, shaking the keys off before leading to unlock the door. It wasn’t that he had said something wrong. The blonde knew that many people would agree with that statement and she did too… He did deserve to suffer because of what he did to her. Though, it wasn’t something that she wanted to speak out loud, voice feeling constricted in her throat as she heard the familiar click of the front door.

She sucked in a breath as it opened just a fraction. It was enough to make Lucy falter, her trembling hand stopping as she tried to take in more deep breaths. The nerves doubled and there was a weight hanging from her chest that settled in her stomach making her feel like turning away.

“Do you want me to -” Natsu started but Lucy shook her head, her voice coming out a bit firmer than she intended.

“No! No… It’s- I’m alright.”

Speaking it out loud helped. Natsu was here with her and they would be out of this place before she knew it. This was the last time she’d be opening up this door. The last time that she would come home to the house where she spent some of the worst years of her life. Opening up this door was like taking the first step on the road that she had only spoken the truth of in the last remaining hope of her mind. Granted, the path was broken and barely constructed for proper use, but it was the only way she would move forward.

She stepped through, leaving her key in the door as she was met with the same mess that she had left the house in. The blood on the kitchen floor was what immediately caught her attention. Dark dried splatters that looked like someone had attempted to clean before giving up with a red soaked paper towel tossed beside it. The glass was still shattered on the floor, half folded washing on the table and a pile of dishes that were left unrinsed in the sink - a kitchen knife left to the side.

Her chest tightened, but there was no sign of Jackal and her eyes immediately turned to Natsu as his footsteps settled beside her.

“Jesus Christ,” He spat, the anger spilling into his tone and she didn’t have to follow his gaze to know what he was staring at. “I swear if I ever…”

Her face felt hot, embarrassed as he brought a hand to his face to cover his mouth. He pulled his face away and settled instead to turn to face the doorway to the living room. At least that was still intact. Though, it still looked like a war zone with beer cans littering the coffee table alongside more dirty dishes.

“I’m sorry you have to see this.”

The words left her before she could stop herself. Her arms curled around herself, feeling insecure whilst her lower lip quivered. She hated that Natsu had to look at her, the bruises and cuts on her face, and she hated that he was seeing the reality that was her life. The shame gripped her, grabbing at her entire being. She felt sick. Lucy felt sick with herself and she couldn’t change that. There were no more cover ups and no more lying. This was everything that she was.

A mess.

“It’s fine,” He grumbled. “Come on. Let’s wrap this up quickly before fuckhead comes back. It’ll be better if we aren’t here.” Natsu turned back to her, shaking his shoulders as he offered a strained half smile. “What do you want me to grab?”

Her mind couldn’t help but wander to when she had last stood here with Natsu, the memories immediately making her eyes glassy as that heart ache returned in full force. It seemed it was ancient history but a week hadn’t gone by since he had walked away from her. Now, here he was. Natsu was standing beside her. She couldn’t imagine how she had hurt him, but he… he was supporting her.

Lucy couldn’t stop that guilt from swallowing her whole.

She tore her gaze from him to instead find her bag. It had been thrown onto the floor, pushed off the kitchen bench with its contents spilled and adding to the disaster “Upstairs. I-In the hallway… There’s a door that should have a cabinet in front of it… Don’t bother asking why.” Her lips tugged even further down, that memory making her sour and Natsu nodded briefly. “We can probably start putting my clothes into trash bags so they can go into the back of the car… I’ll look in the office.”

“Alright.”

She moved to the kitchen, pulling open the cupboards under the sink to pull out a roll of garbage bags before looking down to scoop up her car keys on the floor. “Catch,” Lucy started and then tossed the two items towards him that he caught with ease. “Let me know when you’re finished, okay?”

He nodded before he made his way upstairs, his feet moving quickly as Lucy watched his retreating figure. Though, she didn’t let her mind wander before she kneeled back down to continue putting back the items inside her handbag. Natsu was right. They needed to get this done quickly otherwise they’d have a bigger problem on their hands.

The blonde had barely started to look through the piles of papers in the office until she heard a knock on the wall. Her eyes flickered up from the pile she had started to find Natsu standing there, holding a black bag that he had tied off whilst he leaned against the doorway. It ruffled as he twisted in place.

“Lucy.” He sounded hesitant, unsure of his next words and he eyed her from where she sat on the floor surrounded by paper and files. “I need you to come look at this.”

She gave him a puzzled look, but he only shook his head before waiting for her to stand and follow him. They passed another half full bag that Natsu had dropped to the side of the hallway and Lucy was confused as to what he wanted her to look at if he hadn’t finished packing her clothes away. Her hands felt clammy, palms sweating as he held open the beaten door and Lucy walked into the bedroom.

“In the bathroom,” Natsu added as he let her walk ahead.

As soon as she walked in the blonde could see that Jackal had turned their room on its head. The bedside table had been flipped over, the lamp was shattered on the floor with rumbled blankets tossed hazardously to the side. Her heart pounded in her chest, beating its pulse in her ears as she made her way further in. There was some type of mess on the floor, but she couldn't tell what it was, some of her clothes were ripped near the entrance way - Chester draws toppled over in the corner of the room.

Lucy didn't know what she had expected, or why she felt surprised when she saw the majority of her clothes piled up in the bathtub, ruined. She pushed forward, coming to stand over it to see just what he had done, but Natsu’s voice was quick to stop her in her tracks.

“I wouldn’t touch it,” He started, watching her as he had followed close behind. “Smells like it’s covered in bleach. The stuff stinks.” His nose twitched, lips turned down into a deep frown. “Sorry, Luce. But I don’t think we can do much.”

Her shoulders shook, eyes stuck staring at all her clothes that were covered in nasty orange spots. There were cuts in her jeans, tops pulled and stretched as they sat in a soggy heap in the bath. Maybe it was the smell of the chemicals finally reaching her, but her eyes stung, fresh tears lining the corners as she bit down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling.

It wasn’t just her clothes. Her blurry vision finding cracked foundation bottles and liner pens with broken eyeshadow palettes in the mix. It had all been ruined. Everything of Lucy’s he had trashed, either cut up or smashed to pieces. Not even her bras and underwear had been spared. Jackal had destroyed all of it. She wasn’t even sure how Natsu had managed to salvage some clothing - the little of it that must’ve been left.

She felt Natsu’s hesitant touch on her shoulder, his hand beginning to rub soothingly across her back as her hands tightened into fists. Though, it didn’t help as she stared at so many of her possessions discarded and treated like shit.

“Luce?” He called her, his voice soft and quiet as she sniffled.

“It- It’s f-fine,” Lucy sobbed, tears finding themselves sliding down her cheeks but she quickly pulled up her sleeve to wipe them away. “It’s just… I-It’s on-only…” She swallowed, trying to take in deep breaths before she started again. “It’s only c-clothes. No big… no big deal.”

His brows drew together, expression pained as he watched as she tried to calm herself down. “Do you wanna take five minutes? I’m pretty much done in here. We could get a breather outside.”

Yet, Lucy was already shaking her head.

“No. I have to get this done. Just… Could you take what’s left into the car please?” She turned to face him, her hand finding his and holding it as she grounded herself, squeezing it tight as she looked at him through a teary gaze. He stared down at where they touched, frown deepening as he nodded.

“Sure thing.” He pulled himself away from her, detaching himself from the contact. “I’ll help ya out when I’m done.”

She let out a shaky breath, not moving for a few moments as she tried to collect herself. Lucy tried to repeat her own words through her mind. It’s only clothes, it’s only clothes, it’s only clothes… It’s only things, Lucy! Though she couldn’t help as another sob bubbled up and pushed past her lips, failing to choke it down as a few more tears escaped her eyes.

Jackal was always steps ahead of her.

She pressed her hand into her face, trying to drown out her cries as she fell apart slowly. It just wasn’t fair. He hurt her in every way, but there was always something more.

A bitter laugh left her instead. Of course there was always more.

She brought her hand down, sucking in a large breath of air before her shoulders dropped. Lucy just couldn’t let it bother her, the blonde walking forward and not turning back. The hurt spun inside her chest, but she swallowed it down. The blonde wouldn’t let it. Anger began to take shape in its place from the constant whirl as she stormed into the office, huffing as she ripped up pointless letters and grabbed files to order her papers.

Her eyes were still red and puffy from the night before, the new tears only making them sting, but she didn’t care - whipping her runny nose on her sleeve as she continued to sort through everything around her. It didn’t bother her and she wouldn’t let it.

Lucy was too tired. Pushed past her breaking point as she blocked out everything around her and let the world fall silent. It wasn’t until Natsu came to join her that she looked up, his bright smile nearly blinding her as he asked where she needed him.

She tried to work quietly, but he had other ideas. The stream of questions from him gathering one word responses until the blonde finally cracked a goofy grin when he decided it was time to play basketball with everything that had Jackals name printed on it. His eyes practically shone when she laughed, making the time pass a little bit brighter until they had nearly gathered everything Lucy needed.

“You sure you don’t mind taking this down to the car?” She asked, her face twisted into concern as she eyed Natsu with an old plastic box in his hands that was full of paper and books. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He rolled his eyes, an easy smile spreading across his face as he shifted it into one hand, keeping it up by balancing it on his hip. “These muscles aren’t just for show, ya know? Honest, Luce. I’m not sure if I should be ah-ffended by this.”

“Off-ended, Natsu.” Lucy emphasised the O, her brows raising as she shook her head. “I swear we’ve been over this.”

“And it won’t be the last time either,” He hollered, giving her a thumbs up as he walked out of the room but not before winking at her with his cheshire grin beginning to crinkle the corners of his eyes. “I’ll meet you downstairs!”

Lucy sighed, exasperated. “Unbelievable.” Though, her own soft smile had made its way on her face as she looked around at the mess they had made in the office, but glad that they had managed to nearly shove the most important things in her car.

It had been hard for Lucy to let some things go. She had already felt that she had tried to bring more than what was necessary with her, a pang resonating in her chest when she thought about how she would be leaving it here until she could figure something out. Natsu hadn’t been much help either, always picking up things that she had set down with a heavy heart and thought that she would have to part with.

He had stated it simply. “If it hurts to leave it then bring it with you.” Yet, Lucy had replied with a deep frown. It was bad enough that she was intruding on him. She didn’t need to clutter up his house with her junk, especially since he was a bit of a hoarder himself. Natsu’s house had bits and pieces left hazardously around in every nook and cranny of his small home. Each one he could talk for hours about, a story attached that left her hanging off every word.

Though, hers… It wasn’t nearly as dear. Her favourite books, a pen that was branded with her old University logo and an old envelope that was missing the card from her mother that was given to her on her 4th birthday. Lucy had put it down with a sad look and he had collected it straight after and packed it up. Even arguing with him was pointless as he shrugged his shoulders and kept mindlessly talking or asking her questions about if she needed something or not.

Her chest felt warm and tight, smile stretching further as she pulled albums off the shelf. Her hands kept weary of her wedding photos, doing her best to ignore the burning feelings that she distracted herself from, and instead pulled her own family pictures out. She had kept all the volumes, even her mum and dad's pictures of when they were younger that were given to her after their deaths. They had been tucked away and she piled them in her arms to put away in the car.

She knew she couldn’t leave them. If what Natsu had told her was true, then she would never be able to split from all of the memories of her parents. It would be too painful for her. Not that they weren’t safe here, her heart already soaring that Jackal hadn’t had the thought to burn the last remaining thing of them she had left. Lucy knew she had to protect it, her smile widening as she eyed the cover of an old scrapbook that had a photo of their time in Acalypha.

Lucy was only young at the time, but it was one of few pictures of their family together - when her mother was still alive and her father hadn’t been as busy with his company. She pulled it close, piling it into her arms before her fingers traced over their smiling faces.

She missed them.

Her lips thinned, desperately trying not to cry as she studied the photo. They were a lot happier back then. Foggy reminiscents of times in her childhood when her family was complete. She could only wish that she had them with her now, brown eyes blurring with tears as she thought about how badly they would think of her, but at least it was someone. Lucy would gladly listen to her father grumble at her then to do this alone any longer. How angry they would be at Jackal, her mother asking why she hadn’t talked to them sooner… Having someone care about her again.

Lucy wiped at her eyes, taking in a long breath of air as she looked up. Her heart ached in her chest and she felt the lump begin to form in her throat as she tried to breathe deeply. Though, she quickly reached for the last album, not letting herself get lost in the pain as she turned around and squeezed her eyes tight.

There were only a few things left and then her and Natsu could leave. Her arms slumped as she felt the weight crush down on her, struggling to hold up the albums whilst she sniffled. She was exhausted, the stress of the day catching up to her with every step she took down the hallway as she dried a stray tear with a shrug of her shoulder across her cheek.

Yet, Lucy nearly lost her balance as she felt a shudder rock the house, a loud bang coming from downstairs as the front door slammed shut.

“Where the fuck is she?”

The yelling that reached her ears sent tingles down her spine, freezing her in place as her eyes blew wide - ears catching onto every word as she stood completely still in the hallway.

“Lucy!” Jackal screamed. “Lucy, come out here now you fucking bitch!”

Her stomach felt like it dropped to her feet, heart thundering against her chest and she struggled to breath - feeling a panic swarm in her chest as her legs started to shake. Lucy didn’t want to believe it, but the heavy footsteps were echoing throughout the house making her hands sweat as the photo albums started to slip in her grasp.

It couldn’t.

The tears were back, blurring her vision as she continued to stand stock still. She couldn’t move, her muscles tensing painfully as they locked in place. Lucy felt like her chest was going to explode and her lips quivered downwards as he continued to shout.

This wasn’t happening.

She looked down, mind racing. She had to hide them. Otherwise- She choked, a pained gasp leaving her as she hyperventilated. Otherwise he would take them away from her. As soon as he saw her he was going to rip it all up, the last piece of her parents. He was going to beat her. He was going to teach her a lesson.

What was she doing?

Her legs gave out as the door slammed again, more shouting following it as she clutched the photos closer to her chest and closed her eyes shut.

“Luce!”

Lucy jolted, looking up as another voice followed - an icy chill filling her chest as her mouth parted in realisation.

“Stay the fuck away from her!”

Natsu.

The chill swept through her body, pushing up as she felt her heart in her throat. She didn’t realise she was running until she was bolting down the stairs. Her legs wobbled as she took them two at a time and she felt like she was going to fall as her injured ankle buckled, but her hand caught herself on the wall before she stumbled.

The adrenaline shot through her, the tears falling as desperately made her way to him.

She righted the album in her arms, feeling the weight pull her to the side. Though, it didn’t stop her as she leapt to the bottom floor, panting as she came down hard on her feet. The pain was even worse, erupting from the sole of her heel as fire lit up the nerve endings and stretched to her shin. Lucy grit her teeth, grimacing before quickly searching the room.

#fairy tail #fairytail #what you'd do to me tonight #nalu #Nalu fanfiction #nalu fanfic #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu dragneel #angst #ft fanfic #fairy tail fanfiction #doginshoe #wydtmt #my writing #ft jackal

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doginshoe · 4 years

Text

What You’d Do To Me Tonight

tw: blood, some mention of abuse

thank you to @bmarvels for always editing through these! You are amazing and ily

tag who I think wanted more?: @shadyhydrathesnekqueen @lovelyluce @trollka21 @sobatsu @millennial-star-gazer @celestialspiritqueen @loveandlucky @yogicturtle @mautrino @sereniii @celestialtitania @otaku-daydreamer-4673 @theweiszguy @samanthaa-leanne @sleepy-space-dragon @sevenlaila @albinoclifford @darkwingpegasus21 @i-live-off-pina-coladas @mushi9

Chapter 7. 7800 wordish. I worked tirelessly to try and make this perfect so I hope everyone likes it. For @lovelyluce because she deserves this update.

Happy 1 year anniversary for wydtmt loves <3

11:57pm.

Natsu was tired. He had barely slept, only nodding off on the couch for an hour the night prior until he had so graciously woken up after he had tumbled to the floor. He had sworn something very colourful and loud as he cradled his head and readjusted himself on the sofa. It wasn’t the worst way he had woken up, but it had certainly left him in a sour mood that wasn’t helped by how worn out he felt.

It was his own fault for not sleeping, he had spent the majority of the evening lighting up cigarette after cigarette and pouring glasses of scotch on the rocks. Natsu didn’t usually smoke inside the house unless he was lazy and had cracked a window open, his own personal rule alongside not smoking in front of kids, the elderly or pregnant women. Yet, he made an exception that he had paid for in the morning when he had to leave all his windows open to let the house air out from the smell that had become trapped inside.

He just hadn’t wanted to go out on his porch, or anywhere really, and he had to tap into bad habits that he didn’t think he would have been going back to anytime soon. Though, Natsu had to admit that he was still awesome at getting so fucked that everything melted away.

It had been a long day to say the least and yet, he couldn’t seem to find it in him to close his eyes as he stared up at his cracked ceiling. He’d resigned himself back to his small couch, sinking into the old cushions as his feet hung off the arm rest. His stomach felt twisted and no matter how he moved, he couldn’t get comfortable, but there was no way that he was going to sleep in his own bed - the sheets still smelled like her after all.

He blamed that on how much perfume she always wore - his nose twitching as he grimaced at the thought of it. Her neck was always saturated in a spray of something sweet and floral, combined with a fruity lip gloss and a strawberry shampoo that lingered in her blonde hair. It had soaked into his pillow and the left side of his bed that had become a reserved spot for her.

It shouldn’t have been. It was just meant to be casual sex, but he had fucked that rule up. He wasn’t meant to have become so attached. He wasn’t attached. It wasn’t anything more than a long term hookup. He knew that and yet -

Natsu sat up, scrubbing at his eyes as he sighed. He wasn’t meant to be thinking about her, he scolded himself.

There was a kink in his neck and he rolled his shoulders to ease the build of tension caught in his back. He had worked a double shift at the bar. Not that he was meant to be in today, but he needed the distraction as he swapped hours with Elfman. At least to stop him from reaching for his cigarettes again and again. Though Gray had sent him home before close with a pat on his back, dark brooding eyes filled with a hint of concern as he offered him the only advice that he probably knew in a situation like this.

“You need to rest.”

The underlying words rang out in Natsu’s head as his friend kept his hand on him for a moment longer.

“Forget about her.”

Natsu reached for the pack on the coffee table, fingers flicking open the cardboard box to find it empty. It was just his luck that he had run out, the need to suck on nicotine causing his eyebrow to twitch as the stress continued to build. He threw it, the cigarette packet not going far as it settled on the floor. His hands tangled through his pink hair, making it stick up in all directions, until finally he dropped his shoulders.

He let out a groan. “Fuck this.”

He stood, grabbing onto a water bottle as he settled to sleep in his own bed - even if he had to ditch the sheets for the night. Natsu didn’t really care either way since he usually slept on top of the blankets, or only used the thin sheet. It crossed his mind to hit up the twenty four hour service station for a new pack, but he needed to get some rest. Not to mention that he was supposed to be quitting, but he had made that promise before.

Natsu was just about to turn off the lamp, fingers cradling the switch, when he heard it.

The tap at the door was soft, hitting once before pausing and then a slightly louder rap on the wood. He left the lamp on, the only light managing to give enough visibility in his small living area as he let out another sigh, beginning to walk towards the door and called out to whoever was on the other side.

“Who is it?”

Natsu took a quick chug of his water before leaving the rest on the kitchen bench. There was an annoying irk in his stomach that told him it was probably Gray, the bastard swinging by after work to do some one on one comforting bullshit that involved drinking. He was already coming up with an excuse. Natsu wasn’t bothered and he didn’t need ‘alcohol therapy.’ Not when he had already given himself a good dose the night before. The thought of it already leaving an off taste in his mouth, or maybe that was the withdrawal from his smokes. He shrugged it off, nearly halfway to the door when he heard it.

There was a soft whimper followed by sniffles and a shaky exhale, “N-Natsu..” He froze, tensing as he recognised the weak voice through the door that he would’ve missed if it weren’t for his sensitive hearing. Not that his mind was letting him forget just who it belonged to, or how it sounded when it was breaking. “It’s me... It… I-It’s Lucy.”

She was here.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he swallowed his tongue instead as his legs felt like jelly and he leaned back to catch himself on the couch. It felt as though he had been knocked back, chest light as the air seemed to leave him all at once. His stomach was twisting itself in knots, binding itself together and sinking to the floor as a wave of nerves washed over him. If he thought before that he could go without a drag tonight, then Natsu was dead wrong now.

He wanted to puke. No, that was an understatement - what he wanted to do was rip his front door off its hinges so he could see her and scream or cry, maybe both? Natsu wasn’t really sure anymore. He felt suffocated like there wasn’t enough room in the house, which was ridiculous considering the little furniture he kept around. There wasn’t enough space for him to think and his knuckles were turning white as he gripped onto the couch.

“...N-Natsu?”

There it was again, her raspy voice calling him and Natsu brought a hand to his face, fist rubbing at his eyes as he tried to pull himself together to begin getting a reply out. It sounded like she was struggling to breathe, her whispers through the door even straining his ears and it hurt. His heart felt like it was breaking as it thumped against his ribs and there was the urge to forget what he had learned the last time he saw her - to let her in.

“Please… C-Could you… open the door.” Lucy wobbled slightly. Her breathing was heavy, barely keeping herself standing. The exhaustion was beginning to wash over her now that she was here and she was struggling to form words and her shoulders slumped. She felt cold, the beginnings of aches and pains spreading across her body as she shivered, but she continued to try her best to speak - to reach him. It was the only thing her brain was telling her to do.

Safety.

Natsu swallowed, taking in a breath before he readjusted himself. “Lucy I-” He hated how strained he sounded, just barely holding it together. Natsu couldn’t stand it. He cleared his throat as he started again, pulling himself up but not letting go of the couch. “I… I can’t do that.” He took a deep breath. “Lucy, you shouldn’t be here.”

She winced, bottom lip wobbling as she struggled to keep it together. “I… I have nowhere else to go.” She gasped for breath, taking a long pause that shouldn't have been there, before Lucy was reaching out to him again. “P-Please.”

He bit back a groan, feeling his emotions at war in his mind. There was too much weight on his shoulders and he didn’t feel like doing this right now. Natsu was exhausted and as much as the pathetic side of him soared at the thought that she had showed up here to… Well he didn’t know, but if he knew Lucy at all then he was sure that there was an apology waiting at the tip of her tongue as soon as he opened that door.

She was too soft for her own good. Natsu sneered, even if she had been a homewrecking bitch.

Natsu cleared his throat. “You can go home, Lucy. Come on, it’s late and we aren’t gonna do this tonight. Not any night.” His dark eyes found the floor, his chest burning as he tightened his hand into a fist. “Not... Not ever.”

“Natsu,” She was pleading with him, “I- I can’t. Please!” The blonde stumbled forward, biting back the feeling of dread wrapping around her heart and pooling in her gut. “I… I know how I-” Lucy sucked in a breath. “I n-need you now.”

“Please.” He turned to the door as he pulled himself away from the couch, the thought that she was so close making his head feel fuzzy as he pushed past her words that he knew he couldn’t dwell on. “Ya know that we can’t do this. I-” Natsu bit his lip, cursing underneath his breath as he walked to the door. She was right behind such a flimsy piece of wood, which he knew because he had broken the damn thing too many times to count. It just wasn’t fair that if he opened it then he would be face to face with her again, the tears probably fucking with his heart just like they had the first time. Natsu couldn’t do that.

He pressed his forehead against the wood. It was cool on his skin and he allowed himself to take in a much needed breath before he spoke again, his voice low. “I’m going to sleep, Lucy. Please… Just leave.”

“But there’s…” She hiccuped, more tears gathering in her eyes as he continued to turn her away. There was no way she could go anywhere else. He was the last place that she could turn to. “T-There’s nowhere else that I-”

“Lucy, I’m begging you.”

He couldn’t do this.

“N-Natsu, please... listen to me!”

She was desperate.

Natsu sighed. “You don’t have to say anything to me, Lucy. You don’t have to tell me you’re sorry.” He paused. “I get it. There’s nothing left for us to talk about, okay?”

His chest felt empty as he admitted it outloud, voice hollow of all emotion. It hurt. It hurt knowing that this was happening all over again. Natsu didn’t want to believe it. He had let himself slip again, to trust and now look where he got himself. He was too tired to waste any more energy on something that just wasn’t for him. He wasn’t meant for love.

Lucy wrapped her arms tighter around herself. His words were like a knife driven in her chest, but she knew she deserved it. She deserved a lot of things. Lucy didn’t even know why she was here, why she had come to someone that didn’t deserve this. Yet, her feet stayed planted in place and the tears stung at her eyes as she swallowed down a strained cry.

“I know that. I-I do.” She whimpered. “I… I never meant for this to happen.” Lucy sucked in another breath, cooling the rawness of her throat. “But I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need to be.”

“Lucy,” he warned, fists tightening by his side.

“You… You said I could tell you anything. So p-please.” Her heart poured everything into her words, voice cracking as she looked at the wood, wishing that she was looking into his eyes instead. “Let me.”

Natsu steeled himself. Her jab was low and he knew it. Though, he couldn’t help the sinking in his gut or how he felt his throat constrict. He was never good with emotions and he hated the feelings that were washing over him now. It was difficult to understand, even harder for him to feel - the betrayal of a spark that was quickly dampened by the overwhelming rains of mistrust. As much as part of him wanted to hope and to give second chances. Especially for her. Lucy had been the touch of calmness to the raging inferno inside him. He hadn’t felt that kind of way in a long time and yet… He knew the answer he had to give her.

“No.”

The word felt thick on his tongue, barely pushing it past as his eyes became wet, but he meant it. He did. Even though his heart was breaking, the weight crushing onto his chest as he stilled - becoming frozen in place against the door.

“I... “ Lucy struggled to breathe, the world stopping around her. It was a simple answer, yet it caused an immeasurable amount of panic that washed over her. Her nails bit down into the flesh of her arms and her lips curled downwards as the tears started. The same pain of when he had walked away from her was filling her up, coiling around each part of her body as she threatened to fall to the ground.

As soon as the first sob left her lips, she could no longer stop.

He had to close his eyes when he heard the sharp intake of breath, the muffled cry that seemed to be torn from her throat before she coughed. Yet, it was strained and guttural before she choked, her tears finally spilling over and Natsu used everything he had to tear himself away from the door.

He barely took two steps before he turned back, pulling in his bottom lip. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing. This was the right choice, he felt it in his gut, but why did it send a shooting pain through him? Why couldn’t he walk away? He threw his hands into the air, before they pulled tightly at his pink locks and the sound of her breathing becoming erratic on the other side of the door was only pushing him to do something stupid.

He knew that he hurt her, but she would get over it. Natsu knew she would. She would go home, curl up into her husband's side and be happy whilst he kept himself here. Alone. That was just how it was, even though the thought had his blood boiling and made it hard for him to breathe. This was what he had to do.

Ending it here was good for the both of them.

“I really… I-I,” She sobbed, taking in short shuddering breaths that shook her shoulders. “I can’t go back. I w-won’t, please.” Lucy’s voice was getting louder as she continued to speak, words a rambling mess. “You do-don’t… un… understand. He… Natsu. I can’t go back to him. There’s nothing left! Please.”

He grit his teeth, grinding them together. The image of her face, when he had walked out on her, was at the forefront of his mind. Though, it never really left. The way she had looked, it made him restless and Natsu had been doing everything he could to stop feeling the guilt that was eating at him, the care, the need to be there for her. He wasn’t meant to care. This was entirely bullshit. Lucy was…

“I… I’m so sorry. I-I had no…” She sobbed, “Where else to go. And-”

Her tears grated on his will. Listening to her strained sobs was torture and he begged himself to move. He didn’t understand what she was talking about. This didn’t make any sense. She shouldn’t even be here.

Lucy was right - he didn’t understand.

He didn’t get why she would see someone else. Someone like him when she had a nice house, a good job, someone to come home to every night. Why did she waste her time? And why was she so upset? He was the one meant to be hurt. He was the one she had lied to. Lucy had waltz into his shitty fucking life and turned it on its head, spruced up his entire routine by just existing cause god, he wanted to see her smile more. It was a constant pull and then she had taken everything right from under him and left him grasping at short straws trying to find an answer.

She knew what she was doing and so she didn’t have the right to be hurt. To come here and ask for him, because he knew that he would open that door. No matter how hard he tried, lied through his fucking teeth and took a stand. He was going to open it and it was just a matter of time because Natsu was stupid. He had too much hope that wouldn’t kick the bucket no matter how much he put on a front.

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Lucy hiccuped, her face turned down as she shook her head. “You’re the only person that… t-that I know.” She could hardly breathe, her cries spilling before she could stop them. Her nails were piercing her skin and she could only continue falling apart.

Natsu couldn’t take it anymore. He had enough. She had no right to do this to him.

With one stride he was back at the door, swinging it open as he gripped the handle so tightly that it felt like it would come off. His shoulders were shaking and he ignored how his fingers were trembling as he inhaled sharply, eyebrows drawing in as he finally stood in front of her with all the pain he was feeling written across his face.

“Lucy! I told you-”

He felt his heart stop. His eyes blown wide, mouth falling open as the words died in his throat and his fierce hold on the doorknob dropped. Everything that he was going to say to her left, his thoughts halting as he stared down at her, bloodshot brown eyes full of fresh tears as she was sobbing in front of him.

Though it wasn’t her tears that had hit him like a punch in the gut. There was blood, dripping from her hairline and down the side of her face - some of it dried into mats in her blonde locks. Her shirt, the same one he had last seen her in, was ripped, her small arms desperately clinging to her chest in an attempt to cover the skin that it exposed as she hugged herself. Yet, that wasn’t what had him struggling to comprehend as the shock kept him rooted in place, fear beginning to well up in his chest as he took her in. It was the angry scarlet marks that littered her pale skin, deep purple bruises already beginning to form in the shape of fingers around her arms, wrist and neck. That was what attracted his attention the most - the red raw skin of her throat, the small scratches and drops of blood that was splattered across her chest, then the hands that were burned into the skin with violet prints.

He could barely choke out her name before she was collapsing into him.

Natsu stepped forward immediately, catching her and bringing her into his chest. She was shaking, her whimpers muffled in his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. He felt empty, barely able to form a sentence as he continued to stare at where she had once been, now only looking into the dark street. Her car wasn’t even here.

“Lu… cy?” His heart kicked into gear as he swallowed. “Lucy?”

She only shook her head, words muffled into his chest as her fingers now found his shirt and she held onto him desperately whilst he moved his body so that he could hold her up - to keep her stable against him.

Lucy sobbed, “Please… P-Please let me in. I-I can’t. I don’t have anywhere else, N… Natsu. I’m so… s-s-sorry.”

It was like ice had been dropped down his back, his hands instinctively tightening around her smaller form as he looked down at the top of her head. “Lucy, what… what happened?”

The blonde only continued to shake, holding onto him for dear life. Her knees were weak, unable to support herself as all her weight leaned on him. Safety. She was safe, the one thought continuing to run through her mind as she revelled in the warmth of his body and sunk into the arms wrapped around her.

“I-I. Just how? Lucy, are you…” He was frantic, tripping over his own thoughts. Every emotion had left him, the shock taking over to replace his senses as he struggled to form a coherent sentence. His eyes came away from her form, an urge to reassess his surroundings kicking in as he looked for a threat, but he saw none. Only the same street that he had become familiar with after years of living here. It put him on edge and he pulled Lucy closer as the need to bring her inside heightened.

Natsu shuffled himself down to lift her up, cradling her close to himself as he took care to adjust her in his arms. He tried his hardest not to lose his balance, but his anxiety was through the roof, hands coming to pry her fingers from his shirt as he settled her on the couch.

She wrapped her hands back around her waist.

He pulled his hands through his hair, eyes flicking from Lucy to around the room. “God, where is my fucking phone.” He had to call the police, or an ambulance. Hell, his blood was beginning to boil as his mind began registering that someone had hurt her. That they had hurt Lucy. He gnashed his teeth together, fear and anger beginning to raise an array of emotions within him as he searched the coffee table with shaking hands.

Natsu nearly flipped it over when it wasn’t there.

“For fuck sakes,” He tried to calm himself down, but his stress was beginning to peak. Pulling a hand up, he rubbed the creases forming on his forehead before he turned to Lucy and crouched down in front of her. “Luce, you need to tell me what happened. We have the call the police if the person who-”

“No… Please don’t.” She shook her head, not meeting his gaze. “I just.” her voice was barely above a whisper, strained and weak as she reached for his hand, holding him close to her. “I just want to stay here… for n-now. I-If that's okay.”

The refusal was on the tip of his tongue, mouth open until she brought her eyes up to his. She looked broken. Not cracked, or torn. Just broken, as if someone had split her seamlessly in two. Lucy was exhausted, and he knew that bringing the authorities would only bring an added stress to her. Natsu had his fair share of run ins to know that it wasn’t easy.

Yet, he felt inadequate as he knelt in front of her. There had to be something that he could do for her, especially since he wasn’t there to fucking help her when he should’ve been.

“Please, Natsu.” She asked after his silence.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay.” He tightened his grip on her hand before he stood up. “I’ll be right back. Let me just…”

He didn’t finish his sentence as he walked off. There were a thousand thoughts rushing through Natsu as he took a moment, trying to take in as much air as he could. His hands were shaking, body humming with energy - the need to do something as he started pulling open cupboard doors, clattering utensils together and taking out a bowl to fill it with hot water.

He jogged to the bathroom, eyes flicking around every which way as he bounced around the walls to rummage through the bottom draw and hoping he had something left in his first aid box and that he hadn’t used up all the shit inside it, but he wasn’t making it easy for himself.

Natsu was a mess, his unsteady hands trying to quickly gather up the sprawled out contents. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to do in this situation. He was still trying to absorb it all, that Lucy was sitting in his living room looking like she had been hit by a fucking car, or something. Natsu hadn’t expected her to show up covered in blood, he hadn’t expected her to show up at all. They were meant to be finished and so why the fuck did she turn up here. Didn’t she have a husband to -

He didn’t get to finish that thought before he dropped the container onto the tiles.

“Fuck,” he hissed, bending down to pick up the contents once again before he stood. “Fucking hell.” Natsu put the first aid box down, turning on the tap and splashing cold water onto his face. He spat into the sink, grabbing a hand towel to roughly dry the water off before he was looking directly at himself in the mirror.

God, he needed a cigarette.

He bit the inside of his cheek. Natsu had to get a hold of himself. This was too much. He was too much. Whatever was going through his mind right now he had to switch it off, his lungs heaving in deep breaths as he tried to keep himself calm. He tried to focus, pushing down the shock that had seemed to paralyse his senses as he concentrated and among the disarray there was one thought that managed to throw itself apart from the others.

Keep her safe.

As he locked eyes with himself he nodded, pulling himself back from gripping onto the cabinet as he smoothed out his breathing. Now wasn’t the time to freak out. Lucy needed him, she had even asked him herself. He had to let everything go, making sure she was okay was his first priority.

Natsu pulled a hand through his hair again before he came back out, throwing a clean towel over his shoulder as he grabbed the bowl of hot water with the small medicine box under his arm and walked back to Lucy.

She hadn’t moved from where she was in the few minutes he left her, not even an inch. Her shoulders were still shaking, but her tears had lessened - only small cries leaving her lips as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth and kept her arms wrapped around herself. Lucy flicked her eyes up as he pushed everything off the coffee table, setting down the contents in his hands that he thought he would need as he kneeled in front of her again.

Natsu’s face was grim as he eased his gaze over her injuries again, mouth set into a hard line as he soaked the towel and wrung it of any excess water. “Let me know if this is too hot for ya,” He spoke - his voice carrying a heavy weight in his almost silent house. Yet, Lucy didn’t answer him and he only paused for a second, eyes flicking up to her own for any sign for him to stop, before he began wiping up the blood.

He softly grabbed onto one of her hands first, easing it away from her body like handling fragile glass. There was only a moment of hesitance from her, but soon she let him slip his fingers into her own as he pulled it closer to himself. His skin ghosted over her own, hesitant to linger anywhere too long as he cleaned her fingers tips and up her arm. His dark eyes kept flicking up to the cuts and the bruises, but he knew he had to ease her into it - he could leave them a little while longer.

A thick tension settled in the room. Neither of them spoke as he kept at his task, working in the minimal glow from his lamp as the shadows made the wounds look angrier against her pale skin, more violent, and Natsu had to stop his lips from twitching downwards as he moved to her face.

Lucy flinched away and he stopped, hand outstretched to her. He tried to find her gaze, but she hung her head and refused to meet his dark eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “You can… You can keep going.”

Natsu nodded even though she couldn’t see him. He kept his jaw tight, carefully moving as he watched her closer. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, his only thoughts right now surrounding taking care of her. Though, every new cut or bruise he revealed made it harder for him to keep his touch gentle.

He moved her blonde hair behind her ear. It was still matted with blood, but he would have to soak the tresses later. His main concern was the wound on her head, the worry gnawing on his insides as every possible fear popped up in his mind. Natsu got up on his knees, coming closer to her as he inspected the gash.

“Does this hurt?” Natsu whispered while he traced his fingers across the skin near the cut and Lucy grabbed onto his upper arm, stilling him immediately as her eyes flickered up to his own. Their faces were close, only a few breaths away from each other, but the distance felt like miles as he locked his gaze with her own.

“Y-yes.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth and Natsu tried to soften his expression. “Just breathe, okay?”

Lucy nodded meekly and he pulled back, dunking the wet cloth and rinsing it before he moved back.

“Hold onto me alright. Squeeze as hard ya want,” He soothed, smile quirking up as he added. “I’m sure I can take it.”

He waited a moment, watching as the blonde readjusted her grip on his bicep and pulled her eyes shut. Taking her deep breaths as a sign to go ahead, he carefully pressed the cloth first to her lower jaw - dabbing up the blood as he slowly cleaned her face. With each brush against her skin she winced, fingers tightening on their hold on him but she never once told him to stop. The only sign that she was in pain being the pinch in her brow or the small hiss that left through clenched teeth.

Natsu monitored her breathing, watching as her shoulders rose and fell with each intake of air. She was still shaking, but Lucy seemed to be concentrated on keeping her breath steady, each one deliberate as she held it for three seconds before repeating. As he climbed high with his ministrations, the uneasy feeling in his gut only twisted further. It was deep, stretching into her hairline and it looked like it would leave a tender scar. She must’ve hit the ground, or been hit -

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, cutting off the troubles that were beginning to swirl in his head.

Her brown eyes opened with a start, meeting him immediately as he pulled the cloth down to rinse it again. The silence carried between them, the lull returning as Lucy remained quiet. Though, Natsu waited until she was ready, keeping his hand busy as he squeezed the cloth underneath the now lukewarm water.

“It’s-” She started, but pulled her eyes down as she cleared her throat. “It’s blue.”

The sound of water dripping into the tub filled the room as he nodded, bringing the cloth up to her face once more. This time now hovering over the cut directly. “Try not to pull away,” He said gently and Lucy tightened her grip on his arm as he pushed the fabric against the wound.

She scrunched up her face, brows pulling in as her lips twisted into a grimace. “I-It’s okay…”

“Good,” Natsu breathed, though he didn’t miss a beat as he asked her another question. “So, what’s your favourite animal?”

Her expression eased as the sting subsided, though was soon replaced by pursed lips as she gave him a look. “I-I can’t choose that,” She almost whined. “I... like all of them.”

He raised a brow at her. “All of them? Really, Lucy?” His tone was teasing as he added, “I don’t think I believe that.”

“W-well…” She trailed off and Natsu thought she wouldn’t answer him before her soft voice reached his ears again. “Except for baboons,” Lucy murmured, flicking her gaze away from him and Natsu couldn’t help the twitch of his lips.

“Baboons?”

She nodded. “They make me… U-uncomfortable.” Her voice was barely audible as colour flushed her face. “With t-they’re butts.” The bloom on her cheeks was faint, but Lucy still couldn’t fight off the burn of the blush as she refused to look at Natsu.

He bit his lip, suppressing the smile that was trying to force itself on his face. “O-oh. That’s…” Though, he couldn’t finish his sentence as the chuckle bubbled up, nearly escaping before he clamped his lips shut as he pushed his lips down into a forced frown. Except he was betrayed by the shake of his shoulders, his eyes watering as he desperately tried to fight it off.

“Don’t laug- Ouch!” Her hand moved to his own where it had jolted against her cut and Natsu quickly swallowed down the chuckle. Any trace of humour leaving the air as the reality of the situation refused to be ignored.

His features returned to their prior places, though it was softer this time - jaw no longer locked as he looked up at Lucy.

“Sorry.” Natsu’s voice was gentle as he moved the cloth away from the cut. There were still traces of blood, but it was better than before, it’s length now visible and he swiped the skin around it once more before putting the cloth back in the bowl.

Lucy brought her eyes up, holding his gaze. The corners of her mouth had twitched up and it helped ease the broken picture in front of him of dried tears and marked skin. “Don’t worry about it.”

He had to tear his eyes away from her, busying his hands to stop himself from staring. Natsu flicked through the first aid kit, getting scissors in hand as he rolled out the gauze.

“I think you’re being harsh on those monkeys,” He spoke aimlessly as he cut off a square from the white meshed fabric. “They didn’t ask to be like that. Just like how you’re Lucy. You can’t help who ya are and there’s no changing it..” Natsu squinted as he held it up to her face, seeming to imagine the patch over the cut before he settled it down. Though, she said nothing as he continued to rumage, pulling out a bottle of alcohol that he quickly poured onto the gauze.

His knees cracked as he finally stood from his position on the ground and moved closer to her. His breathing was steady as he carefully pressed it down, pulling away as he grabbed a few bandaids, which he used to help hold down the patch. Natsu smiled at his handy work before looking back at Lucy.

“It’s just how it is.”

Her brown eyes stared up at him, chin titled only slightly as his words seemed to be mulled over. He didn’t look away.

“You’re…” She cleared her throat, “I think y-you’re too nice.”

Natsu blinked, mouth falling open as she broke away from him. Her head turned downwards and she went back to clinging onto what was left of her shirt. Her words sounded like they meant more, holding more weight that settled on his shoulders and returning the frown on his lips. He bent down as he picked up his cloth, carefulling trailing his hands on her shoulder before he grabbed the matted pieces of her long hair where the cut was.

He hummed, trying his best to clean through the blood that had dried there. “I wouldn’t say that.” The thought of how he was pushing her away earlier flickered through his mind and he stopped, a feeling he couldn’t describe clawing at his insides as he looked down at the woman seated on his couch. “I nearly left… I -”

“You are helping me when you shouldn’t be,” Lucy spoke, her voice void of any emotion. “I shouldn’t even… be here. Yet,” She paused, taking a deep breath and Natsu couldn't tear his eyes away as she gripped onto her shirt tighter and tighter. “Yet, here I am.”

He dropped his hands. “Why wouldn’t I help you?” His tone was angrier than he would have liked it to be. “You’re covered in blood- Lucy, you’ve been hurt!”

“I’ve hurt you!”

“That doesn’t matter.” He threw down the cloth, teeth bared. “Why would any of it matter!”

She sucked in a sharp breath. Lucy was crying again, voice weak as she spoke again, “Because.... I-I… I never wanted to drag you into this.” Her shoulders were shaking and she continued to try and pull her shirt closed. “It just… it wasn’t meant to turn out this way.”

“What? Turn out what way? What do you mean, Luce?”

Lucy shook her head, bowing in front of him as she clammed up.

“You have to tell me what’s going on, Lucy!” His emotions were getting the better of him and he had to take in a deep breath, dark eyes watching her as she dug her nails into the flesh of her exposed stomach. “Just -”

He dragged a hand through his hair as he walked away from her. Not wasting anytime as he returned with one of his jumpers and a blanket. He laid the thick comforter onto the couch before he tried to hand the jacket to Lucy, though her tears were not stopping as she struggled to breathe.

“Hey, Hey!” Natsu settled himself next to her, grabbing onto her hands as he tried to get her to look at him. “Lucy, please. Luce!”

“I-I’m… s-sorry.” She stopped, pulling her brown eyes up to his and he moved to capture her face, warm hands cradling her cheeks as her bottom lip wobbled. Lucy was barely keeping it together in front of him and he tried his best to wipe away the tears that were still falling.

“It’s s’okay. Breathe,” He soothed, voice soft as he kept her steady. “Just breathe.”

She hiccuped, “But -”

Natsu interrupted her, shaking his head slightly. “Don’t. Just calm down, Lucy.” He pulled away when she nodded, only to push the jacket towards her. “Put this on ya. You’ll feel better.” He held it out for her and Lucy followed what he told her as she put her arm through, letting Natsu drop it as she shrugged on the red fluffy jumper. As soon as it was around her, he moved to zip it up before encircling her in his arms.

The blonde let herself drop into his chest and he pulled her closer, only shuffling slightly as he reached for the blanket and pulled it over her. She sniffled and Natsu massaged his fingers through her hair while she breathed deeply, shaky exhales that fanned across his neck and sent shivers down his spine.

“It’s okay,” He whispered, repeating it to her again and again as he held her flush against him. He peered down at her, tucking her head underneath his as they sat there in silence. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Though, Lucy weakly shook her head. “It’s… n-not okay.”

“Luc -”

He tried to speak, but she was pulling away, bringing her teary eyes up to his gaze as she tugged on the bottom of his shirt. “I am sorry, Natsu. I-I really never wanted any of this…”

Her voice was soft, but the tone told him that she was serious and his lips pulled down into a frown, eyes turning dark as he stared right back at Lucy - the dim light stretching the shadows further on her broken expression.

He took a breath. “What… What happened, Lucy?”

Her head dropped, shoulders slumping as she tried to force a watery smile. “Well... That’s the thing. I’m not really sure.” A choked laugh bubbled up. “I’ve never been able to guess what happened… w-where, or how, it all went wrong. What I did to fuck it all up...”

Natsu stayed quiet as she seemed to collect herself, not even moving as he watched her every move and how her fingers curled into tightened fists.

“You remember, don’t you? When we first met?” Her eyes were glassy, looking far away as she spoke like Lucy was reliving everything right before him. “We were already halfway to the bed when you asked me if I knew this was just a hookup.”

He grimaced, listening to her talk as he tried to picture the faint memory. They were both drunk and he had a habit of being blunt when under the influence.

“Yeah… I remember.”

She looked up, eyes glistening in the warm light. “I had told you then, that it was okay. A hookup was all I was looking for - and that was true.” She breathed in deeply, waiting a few seconds before she let out a shaky exhale. “It was meant to be my one mistake… A-a night where I could finally let go.”

The break in her voice started a new wave of tears to appear in her eyes and Lucy bit her lip as she swallowed, trying her best to keep calm but she knew that Natsu could feel the tremble of her hands.

“But I never told… j-just what it was that I was running from that night.”

Natsu didn’t realise he was holding his breath, hands tightening on the blanket by her side as he felt the twist of anticipation in his gut. This was his answer. He knew it, but he couldn’t help the dread that was lingering behind his need to know. The feeling that he wouldn’t like the next words that came out from her lips.

“I only came here tonight because I… I had nowhere else to go.” Lucy was no longer trying to smile, her features twisted into one of grief as she tried to keep going. “I-I know it was wrong and that I shouldn’t of ever tried to pretend that he-”

She sobbed, her words getting cut short as she tried to take in more air. “If I… If I go home then I d-don’t know what he’ll do to me…” The tears were falling down her cheeks, the fat droplets maring her face as she whispered in a voice so choked up that Natsu had to strain himself to hear her. “He hurts me.”

Natsu didn’t know what to do when she fell into his chest again, sobs wracking her body as her shoulders shook so hard it sent reverberations through him. He felt cold, almost like when he had first opened the door and saw her bloody and bruised, but it wasn’t quite the same.

The icy grip squeezed his heart, so tightly that he felt like he was going to freeze up and he was. Natsu could barely move a muscle as Lucy cried into him, his hand only moving to rest on her back as he tried his best to understand what she meant. Though, he felt like he already knew the answer. It became entirely clear as every moment fell into place and screamed at him to face that truth that he refused to acknowledge. That he didn’t want to believe.

His mind could only repeat the words again and again in his head and he felt his throat constrict. It couldn’t be true. He didn’t want it to be. Lucy didn’t -

He hurts me.

Him.

Her Husband.

The man that was the reason Lucy had bruises in places that didn’t look normal and why she stumbled to come up with a reason and why she closed up when she couldn’t give him one that was good enough. The man that Natsu had seen in the photos in her house and left her with as he stormed out without giving her a chance to even talk to him. The man that had beaten her so badly that she had shown at his door covered in blood with hand prints wrapped around her throat and -

He tried to breathe, but there wasn’t enough air to fill his lungs and he wrapped his arms tighter around the blonde who’s breathing had finally settled. Natsu didn’t know how long he must’ve been sitting there but it seemed Lucy had fallen asleep nestled into his side. Her head was leaning against his shoulder and he allowed the silence to wash over them as he tried to get his bearings. The tension in the room had faded and turned to a chill that clung to Natsu’s skin.

The world, he felt, had crumbled around him. His dark eyes drawing down to the crown of Lucy’s head and her sleeping face, tear tracks dried as she held onto him so tightly like he was her only lifeline in this moment, which he wanted to laugh at. Him? Natsu couldn’t have chosen someone worse for the job.

He barely had his own shit together rather than helping someone through their own. He was messy, unpredictable, and struggling to work through everything that had slowly piled onto him over the years.

Lucy, Natsu thought, has terrible taste. Yet, his gaze softened as he continued to stare at her, bringing one of his hands up to push the long blonde hair from her face as he sighed.

But he… He pressed his lips into a tight line. The thoughts were spinning around in his head and he couldn’t have imagined this would be the end to his night, holding onto the girl who was the second person to break his heart and leave him feeling more vulnerable and pathetic than ever before.

He breathed in, but he would do it. He would do it for her.

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