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starswimmingart · 4 months

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bringing this back because it's still silly and relatable

#the selkie search #my art #the boys #hehehe #i love themmmmm #robots go brrrrr #wrote a little more today!!!#im excited!!

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thresholdbb · 2 days

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what's the threshold theory

There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.

If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.

#every day is threshold day #tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans #we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold #but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past #so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol #we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting #not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well #it's part of why her instinct is so strong #also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory #listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow #those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind #tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory #she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp #I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol #meta #Star Trek voyager #Kathryn janeway #threshold day #did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school #I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once #I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills

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pahtoosh · 1 year

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doctor daddy

[image ID: a behind the scenes photo of Sebastian Stan as Lee Bodecker from The Devil All The Time. He is standing with his hands in his pockets and looking off into the distance. /.end ID]

masterlist

18+

wc: ~980 words

warnings: Lee wants to beat someone up(no one in particular, he’s just frustrated), reader is in physical pain, mentions of painkillers, written on my phone, sappy and needy reader as usual. Lee carries reader.

a/n: this picture makes me giggle, I wonder what he’s thinking about.

pairing: lee bodecker x gn!little!reader

summary: Lee’s baby is hurting

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Pain and suffering: that’s all you knew. The sun never seemed so dull and the nights never seemed so cold. You wondered if you’d survive the ne-

“Baby?”

Oh! Daddy’s home!

Lee quickly toed off his shoes and met you at the couch, setting down his paper grocery bag along the way. You looked adorable swaddled up in a blanket with your stuffed bunny, but Lee’s heart couldn’t help but ache for you.

You’d been stuck on the couch all day. Standing or even sitting up required too much energy, not to mention that shifting positions could mean upsetting your body further.

Earlier today Lee wanted to call in sick and tend to you, but you assured him that you would be okay as he went on with his shift at the station. He lovingly carried you to the couch where he’d set up everything you could’ve possibly needed while he was gone. Blankets, painkillers, snacks, water, books, and the TV remote were all within reach. Your daddy left you with a kiss on the forehead and strict instructions to rest up, drink water, eat a snack, and call him if you needed help.

You obliged with a yes, daddy and made it through the next seven hours still in pain, bored, and missing your daddy. You were so happy when he came home, but your state meant you had to wait for him to come to you instead of running to meet him at the door as usual. Luckily, Lee wasted no time getting to your side. He’d missed you just as much as you’d missed him.

He held your smaller hand in his and gave you three gentle kisses on your forehead, the tip of your nose, and your puffed out lip. Lee normally loved your pouty face but knowing that this one was caused by your state of pain rather than an adorable neediness made it less enjoyable. He almost wished there was a single person responsible for your pain so he could take it out on them, but he knew all he could do now was be here for you.

“How ya feelin’ sweetie?”

“Hurts, Daddy.”

Lee muttered a curse under his breath and gently massaged the hand he was holding. “My poor baby. ‘ wish there was somethin’ I could do to help. I could beat up someone right now, makes me so mad seein’ my baby hurt like this.”

You shook your head and pulled his hand closer. “Just need Daddy.”

Lee smiled for the first time that day. “And you’ll get him, sweetheart. Just let me help ya out a little first, yeah? I stopped by the store and got somethin’.”

You raised your eyebrows in curiosity. Lee normally just bought the essentials, and you technically had everything you could need to recover at home already. He tucked your arm back under the blanket and began pulling stuff out of the bag.

“I gotcha a different kinda pain medicine, this one’s a cream. There’s a new thermometer, in case the old one wasn’ workin’ right and my baby really is sick. This here’s a new pair of socks to keep yer feet warm and protected. And this is a lollipop for being my good ‘n brave little baby.”

You admired your new socks and treat with a soft thank you daddy and let Lee fuss over you with his new supplies. He cleaned the new thermometer and let out a sigh of relief when it confirmed that you were at a safe temperature. He swapped out your old, worn-out socks with the new, softer ones. And then he carefully peeled back the blanket and your clothing to rub in the pain-relief cream.

After Lee washed his hands, he climbed in behind you on the couch, replacing the numerous pillows and blankets with his solid body. His round belly fit perfectly into the curve of your back, and his strong arms acted like a weighted blanket. He knew just how to support you to keep you comfortable and ease your pain.

In this position, he could also speak to you in a hushed tone and feel butterflies in his chest whenever you whispered back or snuggled closer to him.

You asked him about his day. He kept it brief, mostly talking about how much he missed you. He only shared the details of his work with you when you were at your big age; Lee was very diligent about preserving the safety of your little mind.

He turned the question on you, listening to you describe the episodes of Bugs Bunny you watched and what antics your stuffies got into today. He loved hearing about your inner world. Lee never got to explore his imagination too much. His responsibilities kept him tied to the real world, so he admired that you were able to keep that part of you alive while still dealing with your own issues.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence before you were overcome with the need to tell your daddy how much you appreciate him.

“Thank you for takin’ care of me, Daddy.”

Lee kissed the back of your head. “It’s no problem, sweetheart. That’s what daddies are for. You feelin’ any better? That pain medicine doin’ its job yet?”

“Mhm.” You nodded and then turned your head to muffle your next sentence, shy about the sappy words about to leave your mouth. “Daddy’s the best medicine though.”

Lee chuckled and pulled you closer if that was possible. “Oh yeah? What makes ya say that?”

You squeezed his arms wrapped around you and wiggled against his belly, proving your point. “Daddy’s soft and cozy and strong. And Daddy gives the best cuddles.”

Lee shook his head, not believing how lucky he was to have you in his life. “Daddy loves you, baby. And I’ll never stop cuddling you.”

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front-facing-pokemon · 6 months

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#palpitoad #this is SLIGHTLY more respectable than tympole? significantly. more respectable. but i still do not respect him very much #only a little #everyone's asking me why i'm being so mean on the tympole tags but all you have to do is LOOK AT IT #AND THAT'LL TELL YOU WHY LOOK AT ITS FACE. ITS EYES. ITS EYEBROWS???? THE MOUTH. GROSS #and the “stop this shit at ONCE!!!!!” is a jerma reference. ok #i don't remember why i was THAT mean considering i wrote those tags on the sixteenth and i'm updating these now today but #i mean i still think it's JUSTIFIED LOOK AT IT!!!! IT'S SO UGLY #SEE TUMBLR USER MEOWSTIX AGREES WITH ME. GREAT URL BY THE WAY YOU ALL ARE JUST HATERS OF ME BEING A HATER #“you guys are bullying a literal tadpole” ok but do you know what tadpoles do? they turn people into mindflayers. case closed #tympole would absolutely be the type to try to turn me into a mindflayer are you kidding me? he wants to go inside my brain #and turn me into a palpitoad. this is tympole's dream. do we want to let them take over the world like this? instate the Grand Design? no

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lit-in-thy-heart · 9 months

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been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious #with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen #but idk how to write it just yet #if i'm feeling stuck or bored #and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else #and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night)#but it's working wonders with my brain #and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas #just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about #like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september #(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific)#but that's okay!#not everything has to be done and dusted immediately!#i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back #and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby #but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so #lit talks #personal

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carefulfears · 9 months

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i hope someday he reads this and knows

(the x files little green men / ? / the x files closure / ann brashares my name is a memory / the x files dreamland ii / anne carson antigonick / the x files my struggle i / jandy nelson i'll give you the sun / michael dickman killing flies / the x files amor fati / the x files closure script / the x files conduit, redux / the x files conduit script)

#thinking today about how badly these two missed each other for their whole lives #she was so little and being literally tortured and all she wanted was her big brother #he spends the REST of his life trying to be there for people like he couldn't be for her #this show is a tragedy etc etc #kae web weaving #she wrote in her journal that she just wished she could see his face for REAL and she never did!!! she only saw him again in death!!!!#when her 'ghost' comes out of the woods and she just sees him and smiles and Runs to him. yeah.#in his mind he'll always be a Failed big brother but to her he's just Her big brother #she was 14 and a human lab rat and the memory of him was literally the only thing that she had to hold onto. i'm making myself insane #she just wanted him to know someday. that she wished she could see him #he blamed and hated himself for his whole entire life and she literally didn't think anything more than Missing his face.#wanting him to know her story #writing it all down and hiding it for him #good morning everyone

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iron-sparrow · 1 month

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today is a good day to cry over OCs (in a good way) wheezing

#idk why I wrote this out like a poem #anyway this is how I feel about OCs #today especially #yein x odette #and also many many more #goofy little poem for ALL the blorbos out there

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oatbugs · 4 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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lilyoffandoms · 2 months

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Crimes Drabble - Trystan x Lilah

Happy Birthday week, Dani!!

Warnings & A/N: No warnings. Lilah belongs to @storyofmychoices. The quote is actually “I said I liked it. I didn’t say I wanted to kiss it.” from In a Lonely Place.

“Ruby, not tonight,” I sigh.

My drink is smoky and the amber color reflects against my hand as I raise it to my lips. I close my eyes and savor the burn that trails down my throat. It’s smoother than my usual. Uncle Tommy left the good stuff at our table.

A birthday gift, for my favorite niece, he had said.

I’m your only niece, I had chuckled.

That’s why you’re my favorite, he had teased back.

Ruby’s playful tone pulls me back to the present.

“I only asked if you had, you know, any plans with someone tonight,” she grinned.

“My plan is to enjoy this bottle in peace and try not to think about the case load waiting on my desk for me tomorrow.”

“But you’d like to have plans with him tonight.”

It’s a knowing statement rather than a question.

“I admit to wanting quiet. And that will only be achieved by keeping him over there with Luke and you quiet.”

I give her a teasing pointed look.

“I have only question,” she waits my reluctant nod before asking. “Will tonight end in a kiss?”

“Ruby!” I groan.

I throw in an eye roll for good measure and but I can’t stop myself from looking over at him.

I try to keep my features schooled as she leans further across the table and just grins her silly grin at me. I seem the look before. I’ve seen the same body language. Hell, I’ve used the same techniques in the interrogation room.

She’s waiting for me to break.

“You do know that my profession, right? You know I can read tones and between the lines? I know all the tricks in that playbook.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she smirks and keeps her focus on me.

I sit back in my seat and sip my whiskey again and smirk at her over the edge of my glass but not before my eyes dart in his direction again.

“As I suspected,” she chuckles. “You like like him.”

“I said I liked him. I didn’t say I wanted to kiss him.”

Not my finest defense but it will have to do because I’m unable to deny anything as he smiles that infuriating smile and walks over to me.

#it was a quick little gift tonight #i wrote it beside a roaring fire set beneath a vat a syrup bubbling away while sipping on a whiskey maple old fashioned #i hope you are having the best and loveliest of weeks leading up to your birthday #i will drink to you tonight my friend and toss the bundle of dried maple flowers into the fire in your honor tonight #my drabble #i like to live dangerously and do not edit #trystan x lilah #yes i’m quoting more film noir #any excuse to do so and i will take it #we are now discussing our favorite film noir and also detective films #life is good today

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vivitalks · 5 days

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It doesn't make much sense that he and Hardison understand each other this well. On paper, they couldn't be less alike. Give Eliot a face to punch over a code to crack any day. He likes things simple: if you're stronger than the other guy, he goes down and you don't. In Eliot's line of work, the hard way is the only way to learn. Nothing about this bizarre triangular dynamic of theirs is simple. And yet, in spite of that, Hardison just…gets it. Even when Eliot kind of doesn't really get it, Hardison gets it. Parker gets it. They don't ask him to change. They just show that he fits, exactly as he is. (Or: a morning with Eliot, Hardison, and Parker.)

some more leverage ot3 :)

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thebirdandhersong · 6 months

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on the bright side:

I'm almost done studying for one of my November midterms, thank God!

my friend introduced me to Penny and Sparrow and I've been listening to them a lot today

am holding Wendy Cope's "The Orange" like an orange in my cardigan pocket

just started Frederick Buechner's Telling the Truth and it is BRILLIANT, my friends

listened to the Field Guide and Lizzy McAlpine cover of Coldplay's Yellow today and I am simply... obsessed

people are trickling back into the dorm after reading week and it is so good to hear more laughter around the table!!

I think efforts toward community cultivating have been super successful, thanks be to God. I set up a prayer wall and people are actually using it! We continue to do Sunday night worship and nightly psalm readings! People are actually taking advantage of the open invitation to come by for tea and a cookie and a chat, which I have been WAITING since last year to happen!

came back from Hadestown on Friday even more convinced that no love is ever wasted, and that was a huge comfort to me.

#i literally have no more energy to cry!#so i will not cry :)#one day i will look back and laugh by golly i will look back and laugh #when spotify wrapped comes out i will look at the number of times i've listened to ceilings and i will giggle (and sigh a little maybe)#i will look back on this season and say. look. i wrote so much poetry #and wrote so many journal entries (every single day! every. single. day.)#and listened to ceilings on loop for hours and hours. and it was exhausting and painful and sometimes downright agonizing #but it helped shape who i am today and helped form my heart and mind #and helped me understand something deeper about God's grace and gentleness. and so i am grateful i went through it.#i hope that when i look back on this i will think that way #i hope that when i look back at this i will not feel like crying!#OH my friends i hope i will be able to deal with this with grace and patience and wisdom and love #the waiting room chapter

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ninawolv3rina · 2 months

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"Ballpoint pen" sketches plus some hair styles

OC: Lazenwyn Atwater (he/they)

#my art #my characters #i wrote a little more of him today so here's some art as well #sketch #blood #oc #laz #laz atwater #in perpetuum

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brutal-nemesis · 7 months

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Goretober III: Hematemesis (Written By Nemesis)

This one funny to me haha Castys so miserable he super loves the @coyotehusk goretober

←Previous - Castys Masterlist - Goretober Masterlist - Next→

Ingredients: chocolate, emeto (blood!), poison, gore, noncon touching that is a little bit more intimate than normal but still unsexy

Today’s restraint of choice was a metal collar around his neck that was chained to the floor, and Castys wasn’t really a fan. Sure, it gave him more freedom of movement than the table or dangling on a hook, but it didn’t really matter when Kuro could pin all of his limbs down and still have her hands free, which was super unfair. And the chain attached to his collar was long enough to allow him to sit up, but he couldn’t stand at all, which he supposed was better than being forced to stand and not able to sit, but still.

Right now, though, Kuro was sitting across from him, holding out what appeared to be a piece of chocolate. “Here, Castys. You deserve a little treat for being a good boy so far.”

“You know I’m, like, way older than you, right?”

“You’d be surprised,” she laughed. And hey, maybe she was pretty old, too, considering that he didn’t even know what exactly she even was.

He kind of wanted to refuse the chocolate on principle, but he was also not one to turn down a little treat, especially if it was candy. Warily, he took it, watching Kuro as he put it in his mouth, but she just watched him right back, unreadable as ever. The chocolate was good, and it’d been a long time since he’d had something sweet, or any food at all, really, so he tried to savor it, but the longer he kept it in his mouth, the more he started to taste something…odd.

He was a fucking idiot this wasn’t just chocolate of course it was laced with something-But as soon as he tried to spit it out, Kuro pounced on him, pinning his wrists next to his head, her hand covering his mouth. “Swallow, Castys. You deserve it, remember?” Castys tried to squirm free and spit what was left of the chocolate in her face, but Kuro didn’t budge, so he was forced to chew the rest of the chocolate and swallow, since it would just melt in his mouth if he kept it there. “There you go,” Kuro said, stroking his face and causing him to flinch, which of course just made her laugh. It was always so funny to everyone how much Castys hated being touched!

Finally, she got off of him, allowing Castys to sit up and scoot as far away from her as his short chain would allow. “What the fuck was in that?”

“We’ll see, won’t we?” Castys sighed in annoyance and crossed his arms, waiting for whatever stupid drug or poison she’d fed him to take effect. He felt fine at the moment, maybe a little chest pain, but…okay, it was starting to get worse. As time went on, the pain only got sharper, and he started to get nauseous, which wasn’t really unexpected but still not fun.

Soon enough he really, really had to puke, but Kuro was still sitting there, just staring at him, and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. However, his stomach didn’t give a shit about Kuro, forcing him to lurch forward on his hands and knees and vomit. It sounded more…solid than he was expecting, like there were little bits of something in it, but it was hard to tell by looking at the dark puddle between his hands.

Having a Suspicion, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, and…yep, that was blood. “What’d you do to me?” he groaned, feeling even worse now that he’d thrown up, like the worst heartburn ever combined with an awful stomachache.

“It’s a special poison that sort of…destroys your stomach lining,” Kuro said lightly. “So your stomach acid is digesting you from the inside right now. I want to see if it’ll get fixed when you die.”

“It won’t.” Castys gave up and laid down on the cold stone floor, already feeling nauseous again. Well, this sucked ass. The acid was gonna eat through him no matter how many times he died until it…ran out? Did acid run out? Probably. Didn’t matter right now, he was gonna puke again, and he was barely able to get upright before even more blood spewed out of his mouth, splattering all over his arms and hands.

Kuro laughed and picked up a little red chunk of something. “Ooh, I think this is part of your stomach. Looks like little pieces of you are coming up now instead of just blood clots.” Castys didn’t have the energy to reply, just lying curled up on his side as he coughed blood out of his nose and mouth, waiting for the next delivery of corroded bits from inside himself as the world spun out of focus.

He could hardly tell when he’d died or come back to life, the pain never really went away despite him having a stomach lining again since the rogue acid was no longer in his stomach. At some point Kuro tackled him so she could wrench his shirt up and look at the fun shade of purple his stomach area had turned, poking at it with interest. He’d stopped puking now and was just stuck lying there and groaning as his insides turned into soup.

It would stop eventually.

Right?

Next→

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen @whumpedydump

#i wrote something #castys #kuro #goretober 2023 #immortal whumpee #gore #emeto #poisoning #noncon touching #bro takes a little treat an-NOT TODAY SUFFER BITCH #kuro is functionally a spider good for her #love that she can pin him down and still have her hands free it's so real #pinning down men is just great the other day my bf was like ''i feel like when we lay down you pin me down 30% of the time'' good.#castys is wearing a collar because when i see him im like PUT THAT BOY ON A LEASH #also i wanted him to be able to be ~on all fours~ as is the theme for this and that was the best restraint for a semi-free roaming Castys #and no im just not going to leave him unrestrained what are you an idiot. he does not deserve free movement #also it's very sexy when he's tied up that's just objectively true #but yeah i just wanted to do gory poison and what's more gory than uh guy digests his own self mmmm #see you next time for kuro's art corner #so SO glad i wrote this whole thing ahead of time i was at my friend's bachelor party for the past two days and im TIRED

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cerealmonster15 · 2 months

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truly part of why most things i show or whatever r sketchy doodles i did in one sitting is that it is always a race against the clock when im doing something before The Evil takes over and eats me. i get stressed about if i try to actually make something pretty bc i know i cant lol, and if i take too long [staring nervously at the google docs i keep opening and closing] on a fic it's harder to finish bc i start Thinking about it too much and if it's any good or if it's cringe or What Ever

#a battle against myself truly lol ..................#ive been making slow progress on the kalim/silver and jamil/azul story but. but.#im stuck and afraid lol #the heartslabyul thing i started writing a month ago i am like. at the end ? it's a short little simple thing but #ive frozen in like 'oh this is lame and bad and boring and cringe actually' and cant bring myself to finish #i have a cater/trey thing where i wrote up the idea/concept notes when the idea came to me #bc it's both a ship fic and also a character/relationship study #but then thats one where im extra afraid to write it bc it's likeohhh i want it to be good and handled well and i want my #point to come across and i dont want to fuck it up #grrr grrr grrr the downside of perception is thinking too much of. the perception of others JKLFDSJKFLJS #i want to be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #also i just have. personal issues. self love issues LOL but im not getting into that rn.#i also have had nasty allergies all week girl help it's raining pollen and my throats fucked up #i took a covid test today just in case and it was negative #and my partner hasnt gotten sick from kissing me so im more sure its allergies lol but OUGHGHGHGHH feels ick #ok anyway. fics and fanart or w/e. it all comes back to the root problem of I Have Low Self Esteem GOODBYE!!!!#🤧🤧🤧!!!!!!!!!!!

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yuhlena · 3 months

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morning lads

#happy wip Wednesday #you’ll notice todays greeting is a google doc link #ive decided that the 12500 words of Izzy’s margaritaville era that I wrote post s1 will never be freed #BUT #it is funny and i enjoy it so it’s public domain now #feel free to read to your hearts content #if you feel like you’d like to steal and finish this y’all are more than welcome to #just credit me a little bit if u post anywhere #otherwise enjoy #:3 #because i have so many old old drafts i might be doing this more in the future??????#whos to say

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soultoken-archived · 5 months

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sometimes i'm so sad italy is so little considered because then i happen to see a very good italian movie and something in me whispers that i'd love everyone to see it but that also it would just be completely ignored by english-speaking countries and you might not find even a subtitled version of it.

#𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐲.「 out of character. 」#man it's such a day today and i'm getting over emotional over a movie that i can't suggest you to see because it's just.#ignored. not translated. it will never be. it's only ours and on one side it's like having a little treasure.#but on the other man. man i want you to see this movie. i want to talk about it with you. and i just CAN'T.#anyway hi hello i still. haven't wrote. it's a DAY day today sjgk. much more anxiety than i thought but i'm taking it easy tonight. <3 #and. i am avoiding resi4 just tonight. i completely forgot that the sort-of-instect-monsters appear now.#<- is terrified of insects

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