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luvknow · 5 years

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sundial | kim seungmin

genre: kim seungmin x fem!reader | light angst ; friends-to strangers-to lovers ; high school/college/spring break au ; mentions of alcohol ; swearing summary: you’re in love with seungmin at the wrong time. wc: 9.6k

“Oh, my God, finally.”

Inside the posh coffee shop in the middle of downtown, Hyunjin sat at one of the tables impatiently awaiting your arrival. Of course you were late, how could you not be when he chose a place to meet up that was closer to his campus than yours!? And during the lunch rush, of all times. He always had a habit of choosing places or ideas that were more convenient to him, but he offered to pay, so it was an offer you couldn’t refuse. The clout you got for hanging out with his stupidly handsome ass was a plus for your social media points, too, so fine, you’ll hang out with him.

Hyunjin had his glasses hanging on the tip of his nose and shot you a sassy glare that reminded you of when your high school teachers would look at you both when you walked into class late because he had to fix his hair in the bathroom.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“No, you’re not,” he scoffed. “What took you so long?”

“I saw this trash bag on the side of the road and I thought it looked just like you, so I stopped and took a picture. Uncanny resemblance, right?” you teased, showing him the trash bag on your phone.

“You think you’re so funny, huh?”

“I’m hilarious.”

The handsome boy sighed dramatically and handed you your favorite order. “Here’s your drink, although it’s probably half water by now.”

“Thanks, and I’ll live.” You happily took the iced drink from his hands.

Hyunjin might be annoying and unbearable on most days, but he was one of your closest friends who regularly kept in touch with you after graduating high school. Meeting up in coffee shops in between classes or grabbing a bite to eat on the weekends was a regular move and those little meet ups were what brought you two closer together. Sometimes the meet ups had a purpose, like he needed last minute tutoring for an exam the next day that he totally forgot about or he was just lonely and wanted some company for dinner. During those times, you’d talk about random shit like some hot chick Hyunjin met at a party, or this drama you were totally into or reminisce about the good ol’ days and it’s like you never left high school.

Ah, the good ol’ days… Were they really that good if they were spent in high school?

You did miss a lot of your other friends that were in the group. It’s not to say that you and the rest of them weren’t close, it was just that your relationship with most of them was more like picking things up where they left off. Hyunjin also went to the college closest to yours, so you often joked about how your friendship with him was based off of convenience, which was kind of true all things considered, right?

“You’re usually not as urgent when it comes to me being late. I think you texted me more today than you have in a month,” you noted suspiciously.

“Can’t I just be eager to see you ~?”

“No.”

“Caught me. I’m eager to see you because I need an answer from you by the time we part ways.”

“You sound so romantic - like when the guy is confessing to the girl when it’s raining and he’s like ‘I love you! I need to know if you love me, too!’”

“Not to disappoint your fantasy of dating me, but I’m not confessing to you. At least not today,” Hyunjin giggled cutely. “A bunch of us are getting together for spring break at Changbin’s vacation home. You down to go?”

“Ah, the vacation home! We have a lot of memories there.”

Both you and Hyunjin could clearly remember after senior Prom all the cheap booze everyone drank for the very first time and both of you hogging the only two bathrooms to hunch over the toilet puking for hours. It was the morning after when everyone appreciated the stash of ramen Changbin had specifically for lunch with a banging hangover.

“And we’re about to make some more memories as dumb kids in college. So are you down, or what?”

“It depends. Who’s going?”

“The usual: Changbin, Jisung, Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Seungmin, Chan -”

“Wait, Seungmin’s going?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t he?”

Seungmin was the only one you didn’t really keep in touch with. There were texts here and there, maybe a Snapchat or two once in a while, but you never made the effort to meet up with him even when he was the one who asked to see you. When your best friend that goes to a different school asks to see you just once every month because he really misses you, the normal response would be for you to be excited because God, you really miss him, too. But your situation was a little more complicated than that.

“Right…” you hesitated.

“Why are you responding like that? You two were like the closest out of all of us.”

You shrugged weakly while playing with the straw in your drink. You hoped your body language could help you lie out of this one. “Even the closest friends can drift apart when their schools are on opposite sides of the country.”

“No, they would find a way to make it work.”

“Yeah, well… This one didn’t go very well.”

Hyunjin sensed your hostility and didn’t push the matter forward. Though his nosy self is curious as to what you meant, you’ll tell him when you’re ready. “Don’t let the awkwardness between you and a couple of others stop you from coming! We’re not the same without you.”

“I don’t know…”

“The _____ I know wouldn’t be such a coward.”

“Hey, I’m not a coward!”

“Then what are you so afraid of!”

“Nothing!”

“All I’m saying is that this isn’t very cash money of you.”

Hyunjin had this charm about him where he could passively pressure anyone into doing anything. It was like the most ordinary superpower known to mere mortals - basically all he’d say to get someone to do something was ‘bet you won’t’, but fancier and with more filler words that made you lose brain cells. Like what does you not being very ‘cash money’ even mean…

“It’s not even for the whole week, it’s during the weekend spring break starts because Changbin has family coming over afterwards. Please come? I’ll be so lonely…”

“Shut up, no you won’t.”

“Give me one good reason why you don’t want to go and I’ll leave you alone. Hell, I’ll even be your alibi and lie for you when everyone asks where you are, but only if you tell me what’s really up.”

Dammit. You had to weigh the pros and cons between telling Hyunjin the truth or sucking it up and going. If you tell him, he’ll stop bothering you, you’ll end up lonely and stuck at home, and now Hyunjin knows that painful secret you keep locked in the apex of your heart. But at least you won’t see the boy in question’s face, you know he won’t go around telling anyone, and your heart is still intact. If you end up going, you’re spending a weekend of a lifetime with your closest friends but that means Seungmin will be there, too. What were you to do if you went and saw him for the first time after avoiding him for so long? Would the heavy weight of guilt rest on your shoulders the whole weekend? Would you feel that familiar crack in your chest? Would your heart be in pieces by the time the weekend was over?

Were you being too dramatic? Maybe. Even though you believed your heart was strong, you couldn’t deny that it was weak for Kim Seungmin.

You could totally lie to Hyunjin, sure, and maybe if he was any other person you probably would have, but your friendship with him meant so much that lying to him was out of the question.

Ok, you’ll go. No one, not even Hyunjin, can know your unprecedented feelings, at least not yet. You’ll suffer through the heartache if it means no one will know.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you said halfheartedly.

“Really!? Awesome! You and I can drive down together. Ah, this is going to be so much fun!”

“I hope so.”

“We’re the closest to the house, so we can leave early and have time to stock up on the goods. Is silver tequila still your drink of choice?”

“Actually, I’m more of a Hennessey girl now ~” you bragged jokingly.

“Wow, are you getting classy on me, babe?”

“For spring break, I am.”

“I suppose Henny-thing is possible on spring break.”

It’s a terrible pun that made you wish you were deaf at that moment, but sadly, Hyunjin was right - anything was possible the moment you see Seungmin.

You met Seungmin by chance. The day you met him was the day the Principal had asked you to show the new kid around school because you shared the same schedule. Of course you agreed because you figured transferring halfway through the year was not easy at all and it’s not like you had the option to decline, anyways. You remembered how shy his smile was, but it still held an undeniable warmth to it - like how the sun rays would peak over the horizon at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning. He matched his smile with a bashful personality, silently nodding and following you around the school like a lost puppy and that’s how it was for about a month. Then you two were partners for assignments, lunch buddies, a carpool dynamic duo, and just like that, Seungmin became your confidant.

Ninety percent of your high school life was spent with Seungmin by your side. The other ten percent was crying over grades, but you easily repressed and replaced those memories with college replicates. You could never do the same to those memories with your best friend. Practically everyone knew how inseparable you two were and that was only because you two came from totally different social classes.

Seungmin was the sports guy. Not necessarily a jock - Minho fit that stereotype more than anyone else - but Seungmin was just naturally good at a lot of sports and still managed to keep his grades up which landed him a full ride to the school he currently attends. All those sports meant a lot of games which also meant a lot of cheerleaders and you know how it goes from there. To put it simply, Seungmin was popular.

You, on the other hand, weren’t as high on the hierarchy of popularity. As long as you weren’t at the bottom of the food chain, the high school protozoan society, you didn’t care where you fell on the infinite layers of the pyramid. But when your friends and his friends and your friends’ friends and his friends’ girlfriends and THEIR friends all knew about how close you two were despite your differences, it was like world peace had spread throughout the school because who knew the star athlete would befriend an understudy like yourself?

That’s pretty much the baseline of how your weird group came together. Seungmin would have his games and matches that you’d always attend and he’d introduce you to his teammates he got close to. You met Hyunjin at a volleyball game; Chan, Minho, and Jisung at a basketball game; Woojin and Changbin at a football game; and Sana and Momo were the cute cheerleaders who never let you forget how much they loved to hug. Seungmin met Felix, Jeongin, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung through you and that was your one big, happy, Breakfast Club-esque loving friend group.

You’re not sure when your heart decided without your consent to flip the switch from platonic to romantic, but you think it was either on one of the nights he sat with you in your parked car with food on your laps talking about the stars and beyond until 2:00 am or when he looked for you in the crowd after winning one of his games. You think it’s the latter because even though those late night talks with mix tapes he made you playing in the background held a special place in your bruised heart, nothing could compete with the feeling of running into his gross and sweaty arms after a game. His hugs were tight, like he couldn’t even bear the thought of ever letting you go. It’s like those cheesy romantic comedy movies set in high school, where the two main characters hug in the middle of the basketball court with confetti falling like snow and they faded out the crowd to focus on how perfectly you fit each others arms.

At least that was how you felt, but you watched way too many rom-coms growing up.

What sealed those feelings in your heart for good like piping hot wax on an envelope was when he asked you to Prom. The way he asked wasn’t extravagant like how all his other teammates asked their dates, but it was perfect nonetheless. It was perfect to you.

It was 9:00 pm on a Wednesday. Your school won this huge basketball game all because Seungmin landed a three pointer right on the buzzer. You went about your natural routine by jumping into his arms before he swung you around, fading out the background noise so it felt like it was just you two in the middle of the gymnasium. When it was time to leave school grounds after he’d finish changing, the skies were pouring.

“Did you bring an umbrella?” he asked you.

“Nope.”

“Same here. Well, I could use a shower after tonight’s game.” Without a warning, the silly boy ran into the rain towards your car with a big grin on his lips, leaving you stunned. Already soaked to the bone, he turned back to you. “Are you coming, or what!?”

“No way, I’ll get sick!”

“You and I can get sick together! C’mon, we won a game today, celebrate with me!”

He ran back to you and dropped his gym bag by your feet before taking your hands and pulling you out from under the awning. The rain was cold that evening, but you focused on the warmth of his hands instead and that was enough to forget about the rain. For a while you two danced as Seungmin screamed the lyrics to Dance Dance and Stop the Rain by Day6 at the top of his lungs with your laughter filling in the gaps.

You felt invincible. You’re in love, and you felt like you could fly forever in the pouring rain. How was he able to do that to you?

Then finally, after catching your breath from singing and laughing, the pouring rain subsided to a light drizzle and it’s the only music you both can hear. You’re too distracted trying to move the hairs stuck on your face to notice Seungmin kept his eyes on you until you returned his gaze with your confused one.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you wondered.

“You don’t have a prom date, right?”

“No, but thanks for reminding me.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“How is me spending prom alone good!?”

“Because I was going to ask if you wanted to go together.”

What. “C-Come again?” you stuttered, hoping the rain was a good excuse to hide your nervousness. Prom? Together? With Seungmin? It’s something you could only imagine in your dreams.

Seungmin got down on one knee and pretended the container of Ice Breakers from his pocket was a ring box. “_____ _____, will you go to Prom with me?”

Your body reacted in different ways. At first, your heart felt like it was racing to flat line, then the butterflies in your stomach fluttered like it was midday summer, and then you felt your head pounding against the walls of your skull. Seungmin was the only one who could make you feel this way.

Of all people, he chose to spend one of the most special nights of your high school life with you.

“Yes, I’ll go, you dork. Now get up before the security man watching us through the cameras gets the wrong idea.”

He looked up at you with his sunshine smile and rosy cheeks and its then when you realized you were in deep trouble.

You never questioned why he asked you. You probably should have - were you going as friends or something more? Did he feel sorry for you because you two were the only ones without dates within your friend group? He had people lining up to be asked by him, so he could have easily asked someone else, but he didn’t. Why?

Prom rolled around quickly, a lot faster than you expected and you were completely terrified. Everyone got together at Changbin’s mansion to get ready - the girls stayed in his sister’s room and the guys were hanging out for a couple hours before actually getting ready because it only took them like ten minutes to do so.

Seungmin was dressed in all black, like the rest of them, with his cherry red hair styled handsomely and standing out from all the black. His mouth was gaping when you entered the room. You were stunning, absolutely breathtaking. He held your delicate corsage in its plastic container and you couldn’t help but imagine that this was like how he had your heart in the palms of his hands.

His grin stretched from ear-to-ear the moment you stopped in front of him.

“You’re so pretty,” he teased, tapping the tip of your nose.

Your heart did a flip. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

And so prom night commenced! It was like any other high school dance except food was provided and the school expanded their budget so they could hire a good Dj for once. The decorations, the food, the occasion itself - none of that mattered the second the dance floor opened up.

Seungmin took your hand and dragged you onto the dance floor, thus making you two the very first couple to break it in. For a couple of seconds, this moment really was like how you’d always imagined it to be - you and Seungmin alone in the middle of the room, not caring about the world surrounding, and simply loving each other’s company. The venue could have been burning around you for all you cared, and even then, you don’t think you’d even notice it because Seungmin was with you.

Your friends and classmates joined in not long after, causing you to shorten the gap with your best friend. With your hands in his, bodies close, surrounded by your favorite people, even though the idea of dancing alone with Seungmin sounded so perfect, sharing the dance floor with all of your friends was nice, too.

Then the slow songs came on and you panicked. How did normal people act in this situation!? Did they just… go right into it? As if reading your mind, Seungmin was already guiding one of your hands to rest on his shoulder. One of his hands ghosted over your waist and the other was occupied holding your other one. It was one thing to hold hands - you were kind of used to the touch - but his hand on your waist was totally new. There were tiny, little electric shocks to your skin whenever you felt pressure in that area. You could feel him switch from ghosting over your waist to actually holding it for the shortest second.

It hit you that he was nervous, too.

“Are you having fun?” you asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“If I’m with you, always.” Your heart hurts. “How about you?”

“It’s never a dull moment when I’m with you.”

“I’m the life of the party, huh?”

“Well, you’re definitely the party in my life.”

“I’ll hold that title with the highest honor.”

“You better, Kim Seungmin.”

Being in his arms lasted too shortly. The dance ended with Seungmin being crowned Prom King and some girl from the same social ranking was crowned the Queen.

“Hold tight,” he told you. “I’ll be all yours again in a minute.”

They danced to some slow song to commemorate the occasion and somehow you’re not jealous. Rather, you felt alone. Seungmin could have been dancing with anyone. Hell, he didn’t have to be dancing at all for you to have felt that way. Just looking at him, standing within the circle of people, watching him smile the same way that made your heart flip, made you feel so, so small - like the tiny moon being compared to the vastness of the sun. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen feet away from you, yet he felt a million miles away.

What hurts the most was that this - whatever you and him were - was as good as it could get.

That’s just how it was, and that’s how it would always be, because Seungmin fell for the other girl in his arms a week later.

The sun was so warm even though it was only 8:00 am. The feeling was reminiscent of a simpler time. It took you back to when you were still in high school, hanging out with your friends until the sun rose again the next day with the only thing worrying your young minds was what kind of food you all wanted to eat. You and the girls didn’t bother suggesting any places because the guys would be yelling and arguing too much to listen, but it got to the point where you and the ladies were hashtag over it and went ahead to the place and texted the guys, ‘see you @ this location’. Eventually the guys learned to compromise, so now everyone got a turn to pick a place to eat.

The sun wasn’t the same in college. Sunrises and sunsets weren’t spent at the beach, but rather spent in the library on weekdays or you completely slept through them on weekends. At least this weekend you could be in the sun again. It was already off to a good start when you and Hyunjin soaked up the Vitamin D in his I’m-a-privileged-kid convertible.

“Whoa, your car has a camera, too!?” you gushed, pressing every button imaginable.

“Yes, now stop messing with my settings!”

“I call Dj! How do I turn up the bass in this thing?”

The journey to the famous vacation home was a couple of hours away, so with all of the pit stops for grocery shopping and instagrammable scenes to capture, you both would arrive around noon. You both practically wiped out the snacks and frozen foods section of the general store and with the bottles of alcohol and red solo cups in the second cart, the cashier was totally judging your guys’ purchases when the store only opened fifteen minutes ago. You tried to hide your shame behind Hyunjin, but he proudly swiped his credit card and bid the cashier a wonderful day. (“Why are you so embarrassed!? They’ll never see us again.”)

“So are you going to tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin or am I going to have to respect your silence?” Hyunjin asked after eating the french fry you fed him from your fingertips.

You knew he was going to ask eventually, so you weren’t thrown off when he asked, but that didn’t calm your nervous one bit. You might as well tell him. What did you have to lose?

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. But I pinky promise.”

“It’s nothing huge… Things just aren’t how they used to be, you know?”

“You said so yourself that even the closest friends can drift away, but why is it that when you hang out with the others, it seems like things haven’t changed at all? Now that I mention it, I can’t remember the last time I saw you hanging out with Seungmin. When was the last time, anyways?”

“When did we graduate high school…?”

“Seriously, _____!?”

“I couldn’t do it, Hyunjin!”

“It’s not because you’re in love with him or something, are you?”

There was a short silence after what he thought was a rhetorical question and he can only assume from there because God forbid that you’d admit something like that out loud. Harshly, he pinched your arm hoping he’d knock some sense into you.

“Ow, what the hell! I didn’t say anything!” you whined.

“You didn’t have to!”

“It’s complicated, ok?”

“Oh, I’m sure it is.” Hyunjin ran a hand through his messy hair as if he knew delved into something deeper than what he expected. “For how long?”

“I don’t know… Around Prom maybe?”

“Isn’t that around the time he started dating what’s-her-name?”

“Yeah. Let’s just say the whole avoiding him thing started around that time, too.”

“_____, you need to tell him.”

“Are you out of your mind!? Why would I ever do that!?”

“You know they broke up like last year, right?”

Your heart did that familiar little flip. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“But that still doesn’t mean I should tell him. It’ll just make everything more complicated than it already is and what if I ruin the dynamic of this group? What if it gets awkward and you guys have to pick sides or alternate who you hang out with on certain days like kids of divorced parents?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh as if he’s heard this too many times before. “You can’t let Seungmin know what I’m about to tell you. And don’t be mad, ok?”

“What do you mean…?”

“He asks about you all the time.”

Oh. Well that was unexpected.

“He does?” Either the sun was too hot or your heart was racing too fast, but you could feel your cheeks burn brighter after every passing second. Where did you put the sunscreen?

“When he sees you on my Snapchat, whenever he and I are texting, hell even when he’s at some party at three in the morning, he’ll ask me how you are because I guess I’m the closest he’ll ever get to you these days. He really misses you, you know? He wasn’t going to come on this trip unless you were going, so I promised him that I’d get you to go. Luckily that wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be.”

Hyunjin’s words struck your chest painfully and you’re filled with guilt, but you couldn’t risk mistaking Seungmin’s gestures for reciprocating your feelings when in reality he was just trying to be a good friend and make up for your lack of effort. Seungmin was always so caring and thoughtful of you, and what did you end up doing after graduation? Ghosting him and making up excuses because you were a coward.

“It’s up to you whether you want to tell him or not,” Hyunjin said, breaking the tense silence. “But I say shoot your shot.”

“You always say shoot your shot.”

“Yeah, but how often do I make my shots? Like one hundred percent of the time. That’s both precision and accuracy, baby, so you should trust my word.”

“But I’m not you, Hyunjin.”

“Very true, but you could be missing out on something great if you don’t go for it. _____, you and Seungmin… There’s no one out there that could be more perfect for each other than the two of you.”

“You think so?” The way your words came out sounded more like a surprise instead of you begging for some reassurance and you hoped Hyunjin caught that before he fed the little glimmer of hope inside your heart.

“I know so.”

Why did he have to say that?

The vacation house was exactly the same as it was on Prom night, only a lot cleaner. You almost forgot how huge it was - it was the biggest one on the block. Only the biggest and the best for the Seos.

Hyunjin parked behind a shiny black Audi that had Chan’s name written all over it.

“My car is still sexier, right?” Hyunjin pouted.

“I don’t know, dude. You got some competition.”

Changbin, Chan, and Sana greeted you both with open arms and tight hugs before helping you bring all of your stuff and the supplies in. The three were already dressed in their swimwear ready to soak up the sun while dipping their toes into the crystal clear waters of the lake and you couldn’t wait to join in. Sana dragged you to the girls’ room which was really just Changbin’s sister’s room, but it was the biggest one in the house.

“I missed you!” she gushed cutely while clinging onto you like a leech. You weren’t as hug-y like the rest of the group, but you admit that Sana’s hugs were one of the few you missed dearly.

“I missed you, too, you dork.”

“So ~” she sang suggestively with some sort of implication hiding in her tone.

“What…”

“I heard Seungmin was coming ~ And he’s single ~”

“Sana!” you shrieked, covering her giggling mouth. “Shut your pretty little mouth!”

“So you do like him!?” she muffled under your hands.

“How in the hell did you figure that out!?”

“Girl’s intuition? You’re also a terrible liar.”

“... I’m going by the lake.”

“Wait, me too!”

As the hours passed, more and more people started arriving and the fun was just getting started. By the time Jisung and Minho’s loud asses arrived, the tables were already set up outside and the liquor was practically pouring itself into everyone’s cups. All that was left was Seungmin and Woojin to arrive with boxes and buckets of pizza and chicken.

At the edge of the mini pier, Sana kept on nudging you whenever she noticed you look towards the door.

“Nervous?” she teased again.

“You have no idea.”

“Just don’t worry about it! Let the drinks do the talking for you!”

“It’s barely 2:00 pm, you alcoholic.”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

As if God wanted you to suffer, Hyunjin sloppily swung open the back door of the house to reveal Woojin and Seungmin holding lunch.

“WOOSEUNG IN DA HOUSE!” Hyunjin yelled, hoping you would hear.

Time began to move slowly - so slow that you hoped time would just stop so you wouldn’t have to live through the weekend. You instantly regretted agreeing to coming here the moment Seungmin laid his big, curious eyes right on you. He found you right away like he was looking for you and you only. Time completely paused once you were caught under his gaze and you felt like you were turning into stone. You felt like the many men who fell under Medusa’s gaze - where was your Perseus when you needed him? (He was busy eating a chicken leg. Hyunjin was literally The Worst Perseus.)

Time only returned back to normal when he smiled at you. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it, but you could never forget a smile like his that held a special place in your heart - it was irreplaceable. His eyes did the cute little upturn that had your heart racing faster than you realized and now time was moving too fast. Were you panicking? Maybe, but you couldn’t tell. He lifted his hand to wave at you but instead of returning the gesture, you jumped into the lake.

The water was cold. Even though you could see the sun rays from underneath the surface, they didn’t warm up the lake like you hoped. You appreciated the scattering, glittering light for only a second. The colors reminded you of all the fairytale stories about mermaids and pirates and oh, how you wished to be that young and naive again. The union of yellows and blues helped you calm down before you returned to the real world once more.

“Yo, you good?” Changbin called from the pier. Seungmin stood right next to him, worry painting his beautiful face and you felt your body sink deeper under the surface.

“Yeah! I, uh, thought I saw something shiny down there…!”

“Quit being weird and eat with us!”

Reluctantly, you headed towards the ladder on the pier. Water droplets were blinding your eyes when an anonymous person gave you their hand for help and it took a few blinks to see that it was Seungmin.

Under the shade, his hair color was a warm chestnut, but under the sun, flecks of cherry berry strands peaked out proudly.

“Hey,” he greeted before wrapping a towel around your shoulders. You’re shaking, but not because you’re cold. “I think you need this.”

“Hi… And thanks.”

“How are you -”

“Ti~ime to eat!” Hyunjin yelled, dragging both of you towards the picnic table. Thank Zeus for your Perseus.

Woojin found the restaurant where he bought the fried chicken from around midnight the night after Prom. He was so damn hungry after a vigorous game of Smash that he ordered the catering option on the menu and had it delivered. He didn’t want the set up or anything, he just wanted lots and lots of chicken, for all of you of course, and you remembered how much you and the girls clung to him as a thank you for buying real food that wasn’t chips and dip. He didn’t order the entire menu this time now that there was pizza, too, but everyone was happy with the food choices,

Seungmin sat across from you at the picnic table and you wished you had a drink in your hands to chug so you couldn’t worry about his presence. It didn’t help that Sana sat beside you, kicking you at random times throughout lunch both in a teasing manner and as a ‘talk to him, you weirdo’ manner.

“You still only eat the wings?” Seungmin asked.

“Hm?”

Looking down, he was right - you strictly had spicy wings on your plate. Whenever you and Seungmin got a combo plate at any chicken restaurant, you both would split it down the middle. You favored the spicier pieces and Seungmin opted for the milder ones. You expected his plate to be full with mild drumsticks, but his taste must have changed over the years because a spicy wing or two surprised his plate. Yours, on the other hand, stayed the same. What a weird metaphor for how the years in between affected you two.

“Since when did you eat spicy?” you asked.

“Since I didn’t have you hoarding all the pieces.”

“Ah, you should have said something back then! Now I feel bad.”

“You know I could never say no to you.” Seungmin teased.

Despite your restraint, despite the ache in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile. It was nice talking to you again. He was so happy that you were here right in front of him after so long. Even if it seemed like you were miles away.

After lunch, you and Seungmin were the only ones who helped clean up while the rest dove into the cooler or prepared the solo cups for drinks. Luck must have been on your side today - or rather Seungmin’s.

He wanted to talk to you - to ask you how you’ve been; to ask why you never wanted to see him; to tell you he misses you so, so much. But he didn’t. He stayed silent. You stayed silent. It hurts - everything, anything, all of it.

You spent the rest of daylight away from Seungmin. How was it that even talking about something as stupid as chicken wings gave you heartache? Or maybe it was heartburn? Regardless, being near Seungmin wasn’t good for you. No matter how many times today he tried to talk to you, to be beside you, to get you to even look in his direction, nothing worked. It’s like you wanted nothing to do with him.

What did he do to have you hate him this much?

“He keeps looking over here,” Sana noted while you both dipped your feet in the lake. She left the teasing tone behind when she noticed you hadn’t smiled as often as you should be on spring break.

“Why…?”

“He misses you.”

“I wish everyone would stop saying that.”

“Fine fine, I won’t bother you with it anymore.”

Just when you thought you could sit calmly without a care in the world, without wondering about how the boy you loved was looking at you, your serenity was interrupted by Sana pushing you into the lake. The icy water knocked the sorrow out of you and now all you wanted was revenge.

“You bitch!” you giggled before yanking Sana in by her feet.

Then chaos ensued! From the rope hanging on the tree to floating on the little inflatable banana, everyone joined you two in the lake. Laughter filled the open air and for the first time since Seungmin arrived, you didn’t think about him at all, even when you felt his eyes on you.

Your smile was still the same. So was your laugh, your little nose crinkle, and the blush that adorned your cheeks. With the setting sun behind you, Seungmin was reminded how you were still so beautiful. How could he have forgotten? It really must have been that long.

Your hair clung to your face the same way it did when it rained.

After the boys were tired to jumping off of the rope, taking flexing pics with the girls, and a hundred rounds of chicken, the sun set calmly below the horizon. Orion’s belt glittered the night sky first and that let everyone know it was time to bring the festivities inside.

“You comin’?” Hyunjin asked.

“Gimme a sec. The city doesn’t get a view like this, y’know?”

“Don’t stay out too long, you’ll get sick.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

The night air was crisp and cool, peaking through the holes of your knit sweater. It helped you sober up from what little alcohol was left in your system and you felt good even though you were alone. The slow winds dried your hair while you sat contently at the edge of the pier and for a short while, you just enjoyed the reflection of the moon on the water in solidarity.

Seungmin joined you shortly after he wrapped a towel around you again and you’re no longer nervous nor bothered by his presence. It was time to face the inevitable. Seungmin was always quite persistent when it came to you, so why bother fighting it. So here you two were - old, distant friends sitting at the edge of the pier in a tense silence waiting for the other to say something.

“Hi,” Seungmin began.

Your heart flipped. “Hi.”

“How are you?”

He was trying to be careful with his words - tip toeing around you so he doesn’t scare you away. How does one go about a conversation after being absent for so long? How are you, he asked? You’re coasting through torturous monotony. Before you could answer, he corrected himself.

“I guess it’s more like how have you been? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“A couple of years now.”

“Yeah… why is that?”

His tone was a homogeneous mix of curiosity, hurt, and upset and it was hard to tell the difference. He’s not mad, that you’re sure of, because you had to have your reasons, right? But would you be honest with him about it?

“What do you mean?” you questioned innocently.

Seungmin jumped right into it. “Why don’t we ever see each other anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

No, of course not! “No, that’s not -”

“Then what is it? You don’t answer my calls, my texts, or anything! I need a middleman just to get to you! What am I supposed to do when I’m up at 3:00 am at some party drunk off my ass and I’m somehow still thinking about you and worried about whether you’re eating right or sleeping enough!? I can’t call you because you won’t answer, so you know what I do? I call Hyunjin, and it hurts. It hurts because I’m sitting here wondering if you even miss me, too, or that you already replaced me with him, but I still call him because I miss you, _____. But I also can’t be calling Hyunjin every single time I think about you.”

He was like water breaking a beaver dam with his emotions spilling all at once. Seungmin’s angry and his voice is shaky, but he’s not angry at you. He’s angry at time and how time functioned. Something like this was inevitable, right? Moving cross-country to different schools, dating other people, drifting apart, forcing yourself to forget about him just so the pain in your chest would subside… It was bound to happen.

“Do you remember our promise?” he asked.

There was a huge get-together, one last hoorah at Woojin’s place before everyone parted ways to different colleges. Seungmin would be the first to leave tomorrow and it hadn’t hit you until you and him stood on the rooftop of the apartment complex overlooking a place you called home one last time.

“Are you all packed?” you asked quietly.

“Mhm.”

“Got your teddy bear and everything?”

“You know it.”

“Posters? Decor? Pictures of friends?”

“Yes, yes, and yes, although half of them are of you and me.”

“Perfect.” The tears in your eye were stinging. “How is Yuna taking it?”

“Way worse than you are, that’s for sure.”

“That’s how all girlfriends are supposed to be.”

“It’ll be worse after she drops me off tomorrow. You know how dramatic she can get.”

“Sure.”

Yuna would be the last one to see him. She’d be the last to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him she loves him, and it was better this way.

He nudged you with his elbow and brought you out of your thoughts. “What’s up with you, space case?”

“Nothing, I just…” The tears start to fall. “I’ll miss you a lot. That’s all.”

He chuckled because how could you be so silly? Of course he’d miss you, too, but nothing would change. There was nothing for you to be sad about. Seungmin pulled you into a big bear hug and smoothed out your messy hair that got tangled in the wind. His hugs felt like home.

“I’ll miss you so much, _____-bear. I promise I’ll keep in touch.”

“Ok, I believe you.”

“Never replace me, ok? I’ll fight someone if I have to, I swear.”

“I believe you,” you giggled.

“Promise you’ll never forget me?”

“How could I forget THE Kim Seungmin?”

“Just promise me. Please?”

“I promise I’ll never forget you, Kim Seungmin.”

“Mm, good. You know I love you, right?”

You’re crying harder and it hurts to breathe.

“I love you, too.”

“Did you forget? About the promise - about me?”

Seungmin was looking at you, silently begging for you to return the favor, but you refused. It’s like he didn’t know who you were anymore.

“I could never forget about you,” you reassured. You were unforgettable.

“Then where were you!? Where were you when I missed you? When I missed home? When I aced my final and wanted someone to tell me they were proud of me? When I was heartbroken over Yuna? Or when I just needed to know you were ok!?”

Where were you? Drowning your sorrows in some cheap jungle juice? Dying at the library maybe? Somewhere with Hyunjin? Most importantly, you were probably ignoring those feelings for him deep in the apex of your heart. That’s what you were doing on most days.

All that effort went to waste in the end.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled pathetically. “It’s been rough these past couple of years.”

“Me, too, and that’s why I needed you. Do you not need me anymore?”

You’ll always need him. No matter how far apart you are, no matter how hard you denied it, no matter how much you tried to forget him, deep down you knew you’ll always need him. The heartache would be worth it as long as he was with you, so you should stop fighting yourself, right? It would subside one day.

“I’ll always need you,” you whispered. “Maybe I just needed to be alone. In high school, I didn’t know who I was without you - isn’t that crazy? We’d been stuck together for so long and now we’re facing adulthood alone. Well, I’m alone, at least.”

“I’m lonely, too.”

“Yeah, but you have Yuna.”

“Had.”

“Right, sorry.”

“But you have, Hyunjin, don’t you?”

“I see him like twice a month and we don’t talk about that kind of stuff, so that doesn’t really count in my book.”

“Twice a month? That’s a lot… Yuna and I didn’t even see each other that often…” There’s a hint of jealousy in his tone and you shouldn’t feel accomplished, but it felt good to be on the other end of the spectrum for once.

“Can I ask…?” you hesitated. Were you ready to open a can of worms you weren’t prepared for?

“You mean what happened with Yuna?” Seungmin shrugged carelessly as if heartbreak was just a thorn in his side. “Even I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“One day I’m telling her ‘I love you’ and the next day I can’t say it back.” He laughed but it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You just stopped loving her…?”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”

“Ah, don’t get mad!”

“I-I’m not…!” you lied. Ok, you’re not mad, you’re more confused if anything, but how could he not know what went wrong in their relationship!?

“Funny, that’s exactly how she reacted when I said I don’t know.”

“If I ask a guy I’m in love with why he doesn’t love me back anymore and he says, ‘fuck if I know’, you bet your ass I’m gonna be pissed!”

He laughed again, but this time it was genuine. Then a comfortable silence fell in between. Seungmin got what he wanted to say off of his chest and you two were bickering like you would in high school, but he knew there was something you were holding back. The _____ he knew was never this shy around him. Yes, things have changed, but even he speculated it couldn’t be by that much, right?

“Are you ok now?” you asked.

“After the break-up? Oh yeah, I’m fine. The first week was bad, but I’m ok now.”

“That’s good. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

“It’s ok. As long as you’re here now and you won’t ghost me anymore.”

The heartache would be worth it. “I promise.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can continue missing you like this anymore.”

Seungmin loved the moon. She was beautiful tonight, but not when compared to you. In the same sense, you loved the sun, but you loved Seungmin more. The love story of the sun and the moon was tragic, wasn’t it? Fate decided that two beings full of light and love destined to only love each other would never cross paths. They would perpetually revolve around the Earth for eternity only getting a glimpse of each other every twelve hours, seeing the other fall below the horizon just before they could even say hello. But once every four hundred years, the sun kissed the moon during the solar eclipse. Waiting four hundred years was nothing compared to the short moment they shared together. It was worth every second when the timing was right.

“_____.”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

So this is it.

“I have.”

You saw Seungmin tense up next to you. He must not have expected you to say yes right away. “Really…?”

“Mhm,” you hummed with more confidence. Seeing his reaction was kind of fun. Was he wondering who you could be in love with?

“What’s it like?”

“You should know better than me.”

“I wouldn’t say that… But what’s it like for you? What’s it like for cold-hearted _____ to be in love?”

“I’m not cold-hearted! Am I…?”

“Ghosting me for two years is kind of cold-hearted in my eyes.”

“Ok ok, I deserve that.”

“Tell me, _____. Tell me your love story.”

You hugged your knees close to your chest hoping they’d protect your heart a little more than the cage it was already in, but she was wild like a bird and ready to break through any second. Not even you could anticipate how she’d react while you told your story.

“I wouldn’t call it a story,” you shrugged. “There’s no plot, no character development, no comic relief - hell, there’s not even a resolution of conflict. It’s just one big cloud of conflict.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.”

“Why was it conflicting? Doesn’t being in love make all your problems irrelevant? Doesn’t it make you want to fly?”

“It did at first, but now it feels like my wings have been clipped and just the thought of flying hurts because I want what I can’t have.”

“Now? You’re in love now?” he asked incredulously.

Curse the Freudian slip. “I-It’s just a metaphor…!”

You watched his shoulders relax. “Is your love story happy at all?”

“It’s more of a tragedy than anything else.”

“What happened?”

“How does that one saying go? You can’t help who you fall in love with? I guess I fell for the wrong person.”

“Couldn’t it just have been the wrong timing? Love just doesn’t fall into your lap. If you’re meant to be, you’ll end up with each other eventually, right?”

“I don’t know if I really believe in that.”

“Why not? The sun thought the same thing when he first fell in love with the moon and bam, four hundred years later, when the timing was right, they were together in a painfully beautiful eclipse. Total eclipse of the heart in the most literal sense.”

“Solar eclipses don’t even last ten minutes!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Well, what about you and Yuna, hm? Did you think you guys just fell in love at the ‘wrong time’?”

“No, we simply weren’t right for each other. I don’t think we’ll ever get back together - it’s not like she’s my soulmate.”

“Please don’t tell me you believe in that stuff, too!” you groaned loudly. Even in the midst of all the bickering, neither of you could hold in cheek-burning smiles, arguing just like the old times. You missed this just as much as you missed him.

“Of course I believe in it! How can you not!?”

“That’s not fair, Yuna reciprocated your love. You believe in this kind of stuff because you got to love and be loved and learn that you weren’t right for each other. So obviously, you fell for the wrong person at the time, right? It wasn’t just the timing of things.”

“But we both knew that because we were being honest with our feelings for each other, regardless of how we ended. How can you know for sure you just fell for the wrong guy or if it was the wrong time when you’ve never told him how you feel!?”

“Because you loved Yuna!!”

Crickets chirped in the bushes, lightning bugs danced by the shore, and pesky little mosquitoes stung the surface of your skin. You tried focusing on anything, even bugs, just so you wouldn’t have to look at Seungmin’s twisted and confused face. You should jump in the lake again - you would sink beneath the surface and hope evolution would turn you into a mermaid in a matter of seconds so you could swim away and never return.

You wanted to get up and run inside, but you were too tired. You wanted to cry, but even so, you were too tired. You wanted Seungmin to leave you for good and give you the answer you needed to hear, but maybe he was also too tired…

Even if he did leave, even if he ignored you forever, even if he hated you for loving him as more than a friend, would that make everything easier? It had to be better than this silence, right? It was so quiet that you could hear your heart collapsing as the seconds passed.

When You Love Someone by Day6 played on the shitty speaker of Seungmin’s phone.

“Do you remember this song?” he asked.

You could feel his eyes bore holes into your soul. “This played at Prom, didn’t it?”

“It was our first slow dance together.” Seungmin hopped up from his seat and held a hand out to you. He chuckled at your confused expression. “Dance with me.”

It was a command, not a question, so you reluctantly (gladly) obeyed. With both your hands in his, he pulled you up and guided both around his neck. His hold on your waist was not as shy as it was on Prom night. You’re not used to this confident side of him, but you figured it was just one of the few things about him that changed after not seeing him for so long.

You liked it.

Your collapsing heart was beating rapidly in your chest and with the nonexistence of the gap between you and Seungmin, you swore he could feel it, too. It was so loud - louder than the song playing on his phone. No one other than him could make you feel like you could die and fly at the same time.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

“Reliving high school.”

“Ew, why?”

“What, you didn’t like being my Prom date?”

“It’s not that, it’s just why would you want to relive high school? It sucked ass.”

His laugh was music to your ears. “Yeah, it did, but it sucked less with you next to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.”

You could feel Seungmin play with the hem of your sweater as the song ended. A queue wasn’t set up, so you and the boy you loved swayed to the crickets chirping in the bushes.

“Are you in love with me now or was that just a metaphor?” he asked.

“Seungmin…”

“I need to know if you loved the wrong guy or you loved me at the wrong time.”

“I…”

Seungmin was always a patient man, but not today - not in this moment. He needed to know your answer.

“I tried everything. I haven’t talked to you for years, I avoided you at all costs, and I almost gave up the chance of seeing everyone all together again because I knew you’d be here and I didn’t know what I’d do when my heart couldn’t handle seeing you. I tried everything to not to feel this way about you, and none of it worked. Maybe you are the wrong guy, maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it’s both, but no matter how hard I try, I could never stop loving you.”

The tears in your eyes blur the lightning bugs floating around you two. Everything hurts. Even when Seungmin held you tightly against his chest, trying to keep you whole, your confession made you feel broken. There’s no longer that heavy burden of hiding your feelings weighing you down, but you still felt incomplete. Empty.

“_____-bear,” he hushed, calling you by your beloved nickname he made. “Timing is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

“It’s a terrible thing.”

“Only sometimes. But today, it’s almost perfect.”

“How?” you asked, quite insulted that he’d say such a thing with you crying in his arms.

“After two years of trying to get to you, today I got to see you. I got to talk to you. I got to dance with you. I got you to confess your undying love to me. And now I’m here, under the moonlight, with you in my arms. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.”

“Don’t say those things unless you mean it, Kim Seungmin.”

“I could never lie to you, _____-bear. Not when you’re the right person at the right time.”

You sighed heavily, the shakiness in your breath apparent and Seungmin held you tighter. He kissed the top of your head when you buried your face into his chest. He felt like home.

“You make it so hard to stop loving you,” you mumbled.

“Good,” he replied. “Don’t ever stop. Even after I do this.”

“Do what -!?”

Seungmin must have been working out since you last saw him because with ease, he picked you up and jumped into the lake with you screaming in his arms. The water was still cold, much colder than it was earlier today and you knew you were both going to get sick after this. Before you could scold him and swear up a storm, his lips shut you up and you figured this was what it felt like to fly.

“I hate you,” you cried out after pulling away.

He moved strands of hair that stuck to your face. “That’s too bad because I love you.”

You couldn’t handle his corny words, so now it was your turn to shut him up.

The water was cold, but at least his lips kept you warm.

EPILOGUE

“Are they making out yet?” Sana asked Hyunjin who hogged the window space.

“I think so? I can’t see now that they’re in the lake.”

“Finally! It’s about time!”

“Yeah, but now we’re going to get front row seats to their PDA…”

“Oh God, it’s only Saturday, isn’t it?”

“And we’re here until Monday morning…”

“Great…” Sana handed Hyunjin a full cup of some mystery drink. “Cheers to spring break.”

#kim seungmin #seungmin #skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #don't get mad at me this has ZERO plot ok it's all filler words aksjdklajdslakj #this did not take long at all wow #like 3 days tbh #omg i know it's a lot of hyunjin too LMAO SORRY #ah.... i'm nervous about this one

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calumbringbackthewatermelonshirt · 5 years

Text

Music for the Soul

a/n: wow, yet another piece that was supposed to be a one shot but I got carried away with.

Cal had officially decided his soulmate sucked. Who in their right mind played the cello at all hours of the night, especially some fucking irish dancing sounding tune? Sure the way the music skipped and danced, seemingly alive was beautiful, but at 2am? On a night when Cal had and early tour promo the next day? Hell, the only reason he’d be interested in finding her would to tell her that this shit wasn’t okay. Eventually she slowed it down to a soft melodic tune, something sweet and sorrowful. It sounded like something out of a movie soundtrack, and executed just as perfectly. Still, every once and awhile, she would stop and repeat a specific few bars over and over again until she could play them at quadruple the correct speed. While Cal may have been pissed at her timing, he had to give her credit where it was due. The discipline of her playing, the emotion conveyed through her music, it was like living art. It was all he could think about as her sorrowful tune lured him into sleep.

In your opinion, your soulmate had some weird fucking taste in music. The songs were just strange. They were, as far as you could tell, bass lines for the most part. All of them were decent, composed of a few deep notes hitting in repetitive patterns, occasionally switching to a more powerful rift. They weren’t bad, but they weren’t your taste either. To you, it sound like a pop/rock sort of mix, songs played on the radio probably. You weren’t sure though. Your musical knowledge was severely limited, seeing as you almost exclusively listened to the same types of classical music you played. The tunes were catchy, though, often implanting themselves in your brain with no hope of a resolution to a song you didn’t know. They distracted you as you played, and you found yourself adding them into your own songs. It was pretty fucking annoying. Especially when you were onstage. Once, you even caught yourself adding one of the basslines into a Beethoven, having to improvise so you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of Carnegie Hall. But, sometimes, you would pick up your own upright bass and pluck out the same tunes that ran through your head all day.||

“It feels good to be back in New York.” Luke was breathing in the smog of the city, the smell of hot dogs from the vendor across the street.

“What makes New York all that special, huh, Luke?” Cal, personally, didn’t give one fuck about the city either way. He did appreciate how easy it was smoke in this city, however.

“I don’t know man. I guess I just love the energy. The vibes, ya know?” Luke pulled a face as he spoke, raising his eyebrows up and down. Calum gave him shit often, but it was all in the name of friendship.

“Listen. I got all of us tickets go see a concert at Carnegie Hall. Y’all need some culture.” Ashton had been scrolling through places he wanted to visit on his phone. Being in this band took him all over the world, but Ashton barely got time to travel.

“Bro, why? No offense, but that’s not really our scene. How about we try and visit a club of some sorts instead? Discover the next big thing?” Michael was being truthful. Classical music really wasn’t their scene.

“Classical music is quite beautiful if you take the time to listen, Michael.” Cal kept thinking about his soulmate, her own music resonating in his ears. Her music, classical music, truly was beautiful.

“What the fuck, Cal? Since when are you some musical snob?” Luke was confused. He really didn’t know much about his dark haired band member.

“Oh, fuck off, won’t ya?” Cal took another drag of his cigarette, exhaling the smoke out of his lungs as he gazed at the skyline. He hadn’t ever told anyone about his soulmate. Everyone had their own versions of discovery. Some said their entire worlds turned to color as they touched for the first time, some had tattoos that matched the same in their partners, some even having necklaces that matched their significant others. Cal loved his, though. It really fit him, he thought. A few unlucky people didn’t have soulmates, destined to be alone. Cal had, for the most part, convinced everyone in his life the same was true for him. They were sorry for him, pitiful. He didn’t care, however. Cal knew, and while he had no intention of finding his soulmate, he was still content to listen to the soft melodic tunes flowing from the strings of his soulmate’s cello. ||

“Again? A-fucking-gain?” Your best friend, Emily, was freaking out. For no reason, in your opinion.

“Yes again. They somehow found the decency in their hearts to invited me back after my botched attempt at Beethoven. I can’t believe I let that fucking bassline get to me in the middle of a performance.” You were still incredibly angry with yourself. You prided yourself on your professionalism, your dedication and perfectionism. So when you let a few fucking notes corroded into a symphony like that? It was fucking wild that she let it happen.

“Bitch. This will be the second time in two fucking months you’ll have played Carnegie Hall. At twenty. You’re not even old enough to drink, and you’re selling out the most famous concert hall in the United States. Fuck you, bitch.” Emily took a sip of her coffee. The two of you had attended Julliard together, had been roommates all four years. Emily had been a surrealistic painter, however, as opposed to your musical capabilities. The two of you posed a nice contrast to each other, her flighty and always down for adventure, while you were studious and always considered every decision carefully.

“Whatever. I’m just ready to go on the tour. People just don’t appreciate the arts like they used to. This is pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I’m hella excited. I even did a little shopping and got a few dresses.” You had splurged a little, sure, but it was totally worth it. Like you had told Emily, this was a once in a lifetime thing. You were damn sure to make the most of it.

“You’re still going to the concert with me tonight right?” Emily had been blabbering on nonstop about this concert for weeks. Normally, you would have insisted she take someone else, especially this close to such an important concert. But, for reasons you couldn’t explain, some strange feeling had said you need to be at the concert, persistent and foreign to anything you had felt before. So you had told Emily that you would go with her.

“Yeah. I mean, I said I would. What the name of this band again? I keep forgetting.” You didn’t really care about the band, but it was supposedly sold out at Madison Square Garden. You figure that you had a decent chance of meeting your soulmate among almost twenty thousand people. Especially with that damn feeling you couldn’t shake. It made you start thinking about everything, all the variables and potentials. Without noticing, you started absentmindedly tapping out the bass line you soulmate was playing on the table with your nails. Emily noticed and smiled a little. She had already been lucky enough to have found her soulmate already, and while you had resisted as much as possible, she was always trying to help you find the one.

“5 seconds of summer. I really think you’ll like them, even though they’re not exactly your scene.”

“Wait, I think I’ve heard of them actually. Aren’t they that one band with the song young-something?”

“Youngblood, dumbass. I thought you were going to listen to some of their songs.”

“I’m sorry this Bach is really kicking my ass. I should get going, actually. I need to practice some more before tomorrow night.” You gave Emily a quick hug and walked to where your car was parked on the street. Maybe you could find the time to listen to a few tracks, at least.||

“Well, well, well. Here we are. Madison Square Garden.” Luke was standing in the middle of the stage, looking out over the stadium that would soon be filled with almost twenty thousand people.

“Madison Square Garden, sold out.” Ashton corrected Luke. They deserved it after everything.

“You good, Cal?” Michael, Luke and Ash were all standing together in the middle of the stage, but when michael looked over and their fourth bandmate, he found him sitting almost dejectedly against an amp. Michael studied his bassist for a moment, taking in the furrowed brow and almost scowl on his face.

“Hmm? Yeah, yeah, I’m great. Madison Square Garden.” Cal stood, brushed himself off and walked to join his other bandmates in the center of the stage. He had been finding himself thinking of his soulmate more and more each day. Sure he had always wondered about her, but why couldn’t he get her out of his head lately? He was starting to get concerned that it would interfere with performance tonight. She hadn’t even been playing much lately, and yet she was in his head more than ever. ||

“Why did I let you convince me to wear this? It’s not me.” Emily and convinced you to wear a tight and short blue plaid skirt, doc martens, and a white tube style tank top to the concert. She had even done your makeup and hair.

“Shut up, you look hot as fucking hell.” Emily was really paying attention to you. She was bouncing on her heels with anticipation, and was even more excited for being first in line. She had dragged you out here about five hours prior to when the concert door opened and the line had just started forming behind the two of you about an hour ago. Still, if it made Emily this happy, you supposed it was worth it. The concert was supposed to start in less than half an hour, but all you really wanted was to be at home, running though pieces on your cello. Instead you settled for fingering through them and humming the melodies softly to yourself. It was barely audible, but as you closed your eyes and concentrated in the music, your expression slowly slipped into a smile. ||

Cal couldn’t quite figure out why, but he was nervous. For the first time in about a year. His feelings had been all out of whack lately. No matter how hard he tried, Cal couldn’t stop thinking about how nervous he was for the show tonight. He was sitting with his head in his hands in the dressing room when it started. The melodies of Bach, Beethoven, even a few du Pre. They weren’t the same as before, though. No, this time, his soulmate was singing. Her voice was soft, like she didn’t want to be heard, but Cal could still tell there was a sort of power behind it. This voice made him feel the same way that hot chocolate on a cold day did, warm and safe. It lit him up from inside, calming him and wiping out any nerves that he felt, leaving mere shadows of the butterflies in his gut. Cal’s lips curled up, and he stood. Cal had never felt more excited to get up on stage. As he did, he couldn't help but sense that you were in the crowd, watching him, perhaps even dancing as he sang. It gave him a different kind of rush, the type that alcohol nor sex could. When he was on stage, all the other boys could tell there was something different to his performance that night. Something more energized and excitable. Tonight, passion reverberated through the basslines he played. ||

@marshmallowtraver

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