Day 30 (Finally)

I know, I know... It’s been over 30 days and it's now April 2nd. I just haven’t felt motivated at all to write lately and I get home and am so tired. Blah blah blah excuses blah. Anyways, let’s finish this writing challenge, shall we? The challenge is: at the end of life, what do I want to have accomplished to tell my grandchildren?

First off I don’t want kids but I guess I can pretend for a second that I would and they would have children. (If the world isn’t a polluted melted mess by then). So I would want to tell them that I lived a full and happy life. Mostly happy because it doesn’t have to be full necessarily to be happy. I don’t think being “on” all the time or always doing something leads to happiness, most of the time (at least for me) it just leads to exhaustion. I would want to tell them that I traveled the world and experienced other cultures. I want to tell them that I followed my passion and love for animals. Right now I work at a pet store and I actually really like it so maybe that’s what I’ll tell them but who knows where life will take me. Either way I want them to know that I took my time to live life a little along the way to my end career goal and its okay to do what you think is best for you. If its jumping right into a career you love then great! If you want to hold off and take your time looking thats great too! Life is an adventure and the journey should be savored and cherished. I also want to tell them that your end goal of life shouldn’t be to find a dream job, its to find what makes you happy and for some that is their job. I want to tell them that I accomplished my happiness in whatever way that means to me.

So the challenge is done, self discovery in 30(ish) days. I really enjoyed writing and thinking of answers to all of these even if I didn’t particularly like the prompt but I just found it difficult to motivate and actually do it. Once a day is a challenge in itself. FInding extra time to sit down and do it was tough; it was my birthday at the beginning of the month then I moved into a new place and now I am switching jobs! It’s been a whirlwind for sure! I would love to write about animals and put up pieces about caring for pets or cool facts about a specific animal or group of animals. But I haven’t recieved much constructive feedback. I have heard some great positive things but I want to hear something I can work on. I would ideally like to make videos and post them for people to watch about these topics but I feel like that is a whole different can of worms I am not sure I am ready to share my face and voice(not a fan of that sometimes) to the world. People can be mean so its scary. What are your thoughts? Would you try this challenge or any other writing challenge? Would you read an anima blog by me? Would you think I would make a good blogger or video blogger (vlogger if we are being technical here)? I am super passionate about animals and want to share the love to everyone! Thank you to everyone who read it and extra double shout out to those who messaged me and checked in or told me their thoughts on my blog you guys know who you are and you guys rock my socks off and I love ya!

Day 29-Almost done!!

Whew, it’s Friday! Made it to the end of the week, even though I work weekends.... bleh. Anyways let's get to it! What is one thing I can do today to better myself?

Get. Out. Of. Bed. Right now it is 11:12am and the only thing I have accomplished today was putting the trash out for garbage day. I want to go to laundry, decorate my house more (maybe it will sound proof it) and I want to start some herb seeds and maybe they will actually grow this time. But I am still in bed warm and cozy. I blame my phone, I get stuck watching videos and hte endless scrolling. I want to hula hoop today and practice some new flow before I go to my first festival for the year at the end of April. KENNA GET OUT OF BED. I think I just need to wake up when I first wake up and feel energized, when I fall back asleep I wake up more tired 80% of the time and its annoying. Who ever decided the more sleep you get the more tired you are, your moms a hoe. HA! Okay, well I need to get cracking on this day.

Have a great day everyone! Do something today that makes you smile. Being sad is a waste of time, we are only alloted so much time here on earth lets make the best of it! Life sucks, I get it. But there is always a silver lining even if its small.

Challenge 28

A day late is better than not writing at all right? It’s ironic to me that this challenge came today because I was pretty angry all day from what happened the night before. I guess it came at the right time, but challenge 28 is: Who or what makes me angry?

Well, right away I have to say that people who disrespect my space, stuff and my request/wishes make me super angry. A prime example is last night my roommate decided to disregard the fact that I had work early and to drink and become very loud ALL. FREAKING. NIGHT. I get that our house is still pretty empty and echoes from even the slightest sound but our garage is pretty soundproof and has a pool table in it so go there. I understand that he works opposite schedules from us and is a night owl because of it but when we are awake he claims that he is able to fall back asleep if he hears us. I was not able to do so at all because the noise was constant and I am a lighter sleeper. Keeping someone up an hour or two to get ready for work is a completely different scenario than keeping someone up all night. Also, he left the kitchen a complete disaster. Almost every pan was used up and sitting out with oil or food left in it. I couldn’t even make myself breakfast and was pretty hangry most of the day. Thank god he cleaned his dishes by the time I got home from work but the stove top was still a greasy disaster from the oil spatter everywhere. On top of all of this, he drank the bottles of tequila that were not his to drink. All around I woke up; from maybe 3 hours of sleep, feeling super disrespected and like my needs didn’t matter. We all had a roommate meeting later that night to talk it out and come to some kind of resolution but let me tell you guys it was rough. Sorry for putting my roommate on blast here and if he reads this (highly doubtful) then I am sorry but hey this challenge is about what makes me angry and that made me so. Sorry, not sorry dude.  

Let's see, what else makes me angry. Just overall rude people I think. There is a difference between talking through something and trying to come to an end solution and just being straight up mean to try and get your way. There isn’t much more I could say about that, just makes me mad because there is no need to be rude to someone I don’t care how crappy your day is.

I think that’s all I can think of for this challenge. I also didn’t want to get super involved in this because I was afraid it would actually upset me for the day thinking about what makes me angry. Have to keep the positive thoughts going for a happy day!

Challenge 27

Just woke up from a nap and I feel like I could have slept till tomorrow I am tired. I also am unusually sore in my right thigh for some reason, like why leg? I was sleeping and you should be too! So onto today’s challenge which is: what am I really good at?

I like that the challenge specified “really good” not just good at something. Like oh hey I am good at baking cooki-NOPE I NEED REALLY GOOD ONLY. Silly challenge. So first I’ll say that I like to think I am really good at snowboarding. I know I could always be better though and since I’ve been doing it since I was 6 I feel like I should be way better than I am. But I’m still going with snowboarding. My next thought was I feel good at my ability to make people laugh but not really good at it, you know? This challenge has me questioning what I think I am actually good at and it’s tricky. I think I am really good at getting distracted though. I tend to have definite “squirrel” moments so that’s fun. I think I am really good at eating food, I tend to finish my boyfriend’s plate if he is done and it's vegetarian.  Gosh, I’m not sure what else to say about what I am good at I feel like I am being mundane here. Maybe I’m not vibing with this challenge or maybe I am just tired from the nap? Either way, I think I am just going to be lame and end the challenge.

#26-Shake It Off

Whew, today is my Friday and I am so glad! I only have one day off then back to it but a rest day is a rest day! Jumping right into it: what is my favorite way to shake off a bad day?

How do I cope with a bad day? Well, I tend to handle it poorly that’s for sure. My initial answer to this were two things, the first was hula hooping and the second was taking a nap. Both very different and the nap can be hit or miss for sure. I can wake up feeling refreshed and my bad day behind me or I could wake up unphased from the welcomed sleep. But hula hooping tends to be a good reliever. The only issue I have is actually motivating myself to get up and do it. I have been wanting to hoop a lot lately but the weather has had other plans. I didn’t use to think hooping was a good release either. I still am learning a whole lot of cool tricks and transitions but I know enough now that I can awkwardly dance through some movement and just getting my body to move helps shake away the bad vibes from the day. When I drop my hoop or mess up I don’t find myself getting as frustrated as I used to so I know I am improving there. Still some work to be done though.

Today wasn’t necessarily a “bad” day but I found myself feeling similar emotions when I got home and just wanted to push the bad feelings off of me. I didn’t hoop or take a nap but instead, I played my boyfriend’s Xbox and played Apex for the second time ever. I am definitely not good at that game but the people on my team were really nice and gave me a break when we lost (I did zero damage so I felt it was my fault). So my coping mechanism for a crappy day changes and depends on what is going on around me. I think there are a lot of things that can pull me out of a funky day but my biggest issue I need to work on is letting these things work their magic and help me feel happy about the day. I tend to block the things that are trying to help me for whatever reason.

I have to say I am getting really excited to be almost done with this challenge because one prompt a day is kicking my booty. I really have enjoyed writing but I am just so tired after work and taking time for myself and taking the time to write these has been a struggle some days. I’m not sure what to write about next. Any suggestions?

Challenge 25

Hello all! Welcome to day 25, today’s challenge is: who or what drains my energy?

Oh good golly this list sounds exhausting... First I would like to preface this challenge with the notion that I always feel tired, it’s just rare when I don’t. I think there is legitimately something I am either doing wrong or something wrong with my health. Who knows. I also love to nap and I wish I could just take a short little half hour to an hour nap, but no I go hard with napping. Like two hours is a good nap length for me. Right off the bat though I’ll just state the obvious answer; work makes me tired. Its tough having energy after doing your job for 8-10 hours. Shoot and I know some people who work 24-hour shifts for their job, I WOULD DIE. It hard working in customer service for hours when you deal with rude or really just idiotic people. It is just so draining. Another thing that drains my energy is just being around negative people or drama. I love to listen and help people but we all have limits and need our time to recharge and all that good stuff. Next energy drainer on my list is driving. I find myself getting so tired when I drive long distances. I make it probably a good hour before my energy just tanks. When I have someone to talk to it helps a ton and actually listening to engaging podcasts helps me stay awake too but if my copilot is asleep or not talking I start fading fast. Or if I am a passenger I knock out quick too. This next one is kind of silly but when I have terrible dreams while I sleep I feel just so drained. Dreams about scary things or things I get anxious about just mess me up for the whole day. I usually dwell on the dream and think about it for way longer than I should so I end up just tired. My bad. I think I am a huge drain on my energy. I know I over think things and I know I stress about things that don’t need that much attention. I am a huge factor in the mental energy I create and I know I need to work on it more, I am trying. Well, I am actually super tired today from driving back home to put in some work at my side job so I am off to sleep now. Goodnight!

My message to the world.

Hello, people of the internet and mostly my close friends on facebook who read this! I hope your Sunday has been eventful whether it was relaxing at home or busting your butt with work or errands. Whatever the case I hope it went well! I had some grown man throw a tantrum at work today because I asked him to grab a different dog treat because the one he grabbed lost its barcode and I needed something to scan. He proceeded to huff about it and eventually threw the treat in frustration before storming out of the store. Sir, you are at Petco trying to buy dried beef hide for your pet, it's not that big of a deal, simmer down. So that was the most frustrating part of the day but I did my best to brush it off and my day actually wasn’t too bad. I’m laughing about it now. So enough about my day and onto the challenge for today. If I could share a message with the world what would it be?

Oh boy. Where would I even begin with this? There is a lot that I believe the world needs to hear. If I could grab the world’s ear and scold it like it were my child I would. And not even the earth itself but the human population that inhabits it, they need an ear-grab followed by a scolding for sure. Honestly, I think most of it boils down to one thing I would share with the world: to have and share more compassion.

com·pas·sion

/kəmˈpaSHən/

noun

1. sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

I know the world has a long way to go with all of its problems, and boy does it have many. Shall I list a few of the issues that plague this world? Inequality in race, gender, age, class, just to name a few. Extreme lack of care for our planet and what we pump into the ground, air, and water here as well as the other species that live here. Our political system is a joke. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Now I may be naive and gullible sometimes but I know that this one thing isn’t the magic cure. I think it's just a damn good place to start.  Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. A little love goes a long way. When we have the desire to do something and help it can have a tremendous impact. There are 7.7 billion people on this planet, that is 7,700,000,000 people just to give you a better visual... look at all those zeros! So if every single person did something small every day towards compassion can you imagine the difference? Okay, a lot of these people do not have the means to give because they don’t have a much to begin with. Small steps. Pick up a piece of trash you see on the sidewalk or beach. Be nice to the clerk at the grocery store/gas station/coffee shop/restaurant/any place that offers you a service in some way, The interactions last maybe minutes at a time but can impact someone's day. Seriously just smile a little, damn. Let someone merge in front of you on the freeway even if they were driving like an ass. Maybe they are in a hurry or are having a terrible day or shoot maybe they don’t even know they are driving terrible (probably how people see me, I think I suck at driving some days). Maybe it's leaving the spider you found in your sink to live another day and eat some bugs, okay that’s extreme so maybe try and move it outside instead. P.S I hate spiders. Use a reusable bag because you understand that single-use plastic is choking out our ocean and planet or skipping the plastic produce bags to put a couple apples in. Support your brother or sister in their fight for some damn equal rights because their gender, sexual orientation, class, ethnicity or the color of their skin makes them “less” than others. Support others in their choices because they aren’t yours to make.

Compassion isn’t easy, and it takes a lot of patience to hear the other side of something when you just don’t agree. Like I said, baby steps. If you aren’t ready to offer help I think an important step is to listen and try to see the other person’s side from how they experience it. Re-reading this I am sure a bunch of people are going to think I am some sensitive little liberal and your damn freaking right I am. But does that really matter when I want people to just be nice to one another and help out each other? It takes both the left wing and the right wing to be able to fly. I feel like I am rambling on about this topic so I’m going to call it. Challenge 24 is finished!

Challenge 23: The bucket list

Hello everyone! I hope you all have had a great Saturday full of fun weekend adventures. I worked today but officially put in my two weeks so that was a fun awkward morning. So onto the challenge for today. What are five things on my bucket list that I must do before I die?

These are in no particular order of importance. I’m just listing them as I come up with them.

1. I would like to go to burning man at least once. I’ve wanted to experience and see what burning man is all about for a few years now. Getting the money and the time off for it is tricky though.

2. I want to go to a bunch of places so I’ll just generalize it as travel more and see more cultures.

3. Learning to scuba dive would be cool. Kenna fun fact: I am actually really afraid of the ocean. Not because of sharks because I think they are cool, but I grew up next to a lake not the ocean so its a whole different experience and I still get freaked out by it. Tides and undertow mostly freak me out along with rogue waves. So being able to feel peaceful under the water would be cool.

4. I would like to learn how to speak another language fluently. That would be awesome.

5. Last but not least I would love to hold a bear cub. Preferably a polar bear cub but I’ll settle for any bear cub.

Challenge Day 22

What’s up homies and homegirls! Today I got a lot done in the life of adulting with running errands. I also had a job interview at a different pet store and I took the job offer. I’ll be making more money and everyone there seems nice. It's also a local business that I worked at in 2012 so it has been a minute since I worked there but I loved it. I just thought I’d share some good news that I am excited about. I have to give my two weeks tomorrow at my current job and I just don’t know how to break it to them yet... least favorite part for sure. So onto today’s challenge. What is my favorite possession that I cannot live without?

Hm, does it have to be a physical item? I was asking my boyfriend about favorite possessions and he asked this and it got me thinking. A possession is something you own and that doesn’t exactly mean it has to be an item right? Like I own my personality I guess? I own my thoughts? The little voice inside my head is mine. I don’t know guys...  I’ll just pick two: a physical item and a non-physical item.

So first let's get physical (heh). I honestly would say my favorite possession that I cannot live without would have to be my phone. Insert some blonde valley girl “oh my god I just love facebook and playing fruit ninja, it’s just my absolute fave.” But in all honesty, my phone is how I stay connected to those that I love. I call my mom often and text my sister almost every day. I get to hear how people are doing when they are distant from me with their physical distance. I do find myself checking Facebook too often and it honestly gives me social media recoil when I am on my phone too much. I find myself being too irritable and just overall unhappiness when I am on my phone too much but when I actually call people and hear their voices it makes me really happy. So while it is my favorite thing to own and keep in contact with people I do tend to abuse it.

Alright onto the possession I cannot live without that isn’t an actual item. Hm, this is tricky and I’m torn between a lot of aspects of myself that I love and wouldn’t be able to live without. The essence of Kenna. I think I would have to pick my humor. I love helping to make people smile and maybe making their day better. I make myself laugh and it helps lift me up when I am feeling down. I think my humor helps me be me. This was tough though because there are so many parts of myself that I just couldn’t live without. My strength and my ability to overcome all that I have been through is something that I am grateful that I possess. I also love my morals. I love that I stand by them the best that I can. Kind of an interesting challenge to think about. 

Thank you for tuning into the daily challenge, you may now return to your regularly scheduled program. 

Writing challenge 21

Today was just one weird day. I didn’t get much sleep and I was just in a crap mood because of others‘ poor decisions. Well, I guess I am alright now but it was a rough day. So today’s challenge is all about getting peeved. What are my 5 biggest pet peeves? A lot of my pet peeves involve driving. Actually, I think I could write all five about driving but I should probably spread the peeve love.

1. When people don’t use the freaking middle lane when turning left! OH my GOSH this drives me nuts! Unnecessary and holds up traffic for NOTHING.

2. Steven and I argue about this one but I hate it when people brake on the freeway. Lemme explain. Braking on the freeway when necessary is completely fine and I will slow down accordingly. But so many people will just throw on their brakes enough for their brake lights to turn on and I freak out thinking that we are actually stopping when in fact we aren’t. So when people put their brake lights on and are ACTUALLY stopping and I think they are just being flashy with their lights I have to slam my brakes on. I hate it. Really I think I just hate driving on the freeway when it's hella busy.

3. Rude people. When people are rude for no freaking reason. I don’t even think I should need to elaborate on this one. This is different than mean people though mean people still suck too.

4. When people don’t use their blinker. Sometimes blinkers aren‘t necessary I get that but I still say use them or you will be dubbed douche canoe by yours truly.

5. When people litter. Enough said. Protect your mother earth!

Hump Day! 20th Challenge

Hello all you fine and beautiful people! I hope your week has been going well and smoothly. Also! Happy first day of spring! I can’t wait to start planting flowers and all the fine spring things. Then it will get stupid hot but we don’t talk about that yet. Anyways, onto today’s challenge. What does my ideal day look like and how can I accomplish it?

Well, first and foremost I would have had a great night’s sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and have had either no dreams or dreams about swimming. I love when I dream about swimming, not so much flying though. Fllying dreams always make me feel out of control and like im falling not flying. So then after I wake up I would love a filling but light breakfast. I tend to feel groggy and sleepy after I eat breakfast so feeling awake would be nice. Hm, if my day was a work day I would go to work and help people with their pet questions, I would like to not deal with the weird or rude people. Just yesterday some middle aged dude yelled to me as he left the store, “don’t forget to pet your kitty today!” um ew gross you perv. He knew nothing about me so he wouldn’t know what kind of animals I own, so I know damn well he wasn’t talking about the animal here. Bleh. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable, especially at work where I feel trapped and cannot leave. Anyways, so a low stress chill day at work would be nice.  I would get off work and either go to the gym, do some yoga, or hula hoop for a little while. Then I would start a delicious plant based dinner. I really have been digging eggplant so something with that would be great. Or sweet potatoes maybe. Yum! After dinner would be a nice warm and relaxing shower to get ready for a nice comfy and deep sleep.

If I didn’t have work;which would be more ideal than working in my opinion, I would like to do something outside whether it be gardening since the weather has been warming up or maybe a small hike somewhere. Side note if anyone has great gardening tips I am open to them! If it was winter I would want to go snowboarding, and if the weather was poopy a cozy netflix/hulu day would be perfect with hot tea and snacks. My ideal day would be doing these things with a friend or my boyfriend but these things are good alone too. I would love a good afternoon nap too, nothing too long because then I will just keep sleeping but one juuuust long enough to feel refreshed and amazing. You know, the type of nap that rarely exists. I guess lunch would fit in there somewhere in my day but as long as its good food I am not too picky.

It’s both good and bad that my ideal day is within my control. Its great because I can literally make my day as amazing as I need it to be but the bad thing about it is when I don’t have the time for it or things do go as planned within my control and I feel crappy for it. I’ve found that I am kind of bad at rolling with the punches and when things change suddenly with plans I have made it completely throws me off and I get kind of grumpy about it. Something that I’ve been working on but its a work in progress. Steven is really good at going with the flow so he has been trying to teach me and work with me on it. I’m really happy to say that I have been having more happy days lately and I think being in my own space again and being able to decorate and really feel in my own comfort zone has helped. Work still kind of blows some days but its so so nice to come be in my space again. Still have a ways to go with the house I live in but its a good start!

Day 19... Are you serious?

So far some of these challenges have been tough, some not as interesting to me and others just not really my favorite to write about. But today’s challenge takes the cake with “who is the most important person in my life?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I have to pick one person out of all the amazing humans in my life? I honestly don’t think I could... this isn’t fair.

Well, I juggled with this one for a while. First I thought of my mom or my sister. They watched me grow up and become who I am. They shaped who I am from day one. My next thought was my boyfriend. He has been with me for only a short amount of time compared to a lot of my other favorite human beans but the love I have for him is in a league of its own. He is with me by choice and he loves me for me and what I stand for. But what about the love I have for my best friends that have also watched me become who I am and help me grow? Unfair challenge...

This challenge feels rigged because it makes me feel like you should have to pick yourself. I guess the most important person in my life would be me, and it makes sense. I have been here for myself since day one, I know myself best, I know what I want or need at any given time and when it comes down to it I can be my own worst enemy or my own superhero all based on the mental paths I choose to take. At first, I felt selfish choosing myself and saying that I am important and I think that is a flaw I have. I tend to think myself selfish when I try and give myself some self-loving and I know it’s not selfish but sometimes I feel like other people deserve my love more than myself. I’m sure you’re reading this with the conclusion that I must be feeling down and sad again but honestly, I feel like this is a huge revelation for me. Actually uncovering this issue and being able to put it into words has me feeling transparent and clear right now and I don’t feel sad I feel inspired. I feel more inclined to give myself more self-love because hell yeah I am the most important person in my life!! I deserve to give myself love just as much as I allow myself to receive the love from my other favorite humans. I have been with me from day one and will be there with myself until the very end (okay that part made me feel a pang of sadness) but really I am a freaking goddess and should treat myself as such. More positive words to myself and as my sister said: “chin up so you see the sun, not the shadows.”

That's a wrap on my day 19! I don’t know why giving myself the same love I give others is so tough for me but I am willing to work on it a little each day. Baby steps!

Writing Challenge Day 18

I have to say that I am getting a little worm out from doing these super deep writing prompts every day. It’s a lot to think about and process and get down into words for people to read. Maybe next time I’ll do a weekly one instead. Anyway, onto today’s challenge which is: do I live the life I’ve always wanted? Why or why not.

First off I am working two jobs at the moment with a prospective third just to feel comfortable with paying bills and affording food. I honestly am fine but I like to have a good buffer room in the event that shit happens. So in this ideal life of mine, I would only need to work one job to feel financially comfy, not multiple. On the subject of jobs, I have to say that I am not 100% satisfied with my main job. I mean no one truly is completely satisfied with their job, we all have bad days, icky coworkers, and don’t even get me started if you work in customer service. That is hard and in a category all its own. But hey if you are completely satisfied with your job then great for you, what is your freaking secret? So I would like a job I felt more satisfied with and I think I am dissatisfied with it because it’s a bigger company and we have to try and beat last years sales numbers and there's all these customer review things and if we aren’t in a certain area of this survey then we are failing basically. So that isn’t the best feeling when you know the business is doing fine, dang big business people. In my ideal life, I would be able to be my own boss and make my own schedule with the obvious animal component. It would be dealing with people very little of the time if not at all. I just dislike people and customer service, it’s not for me. I still am working out what my ideal job would be and I still don’t have a clue but “working with animals” has always been my answer. I guess I’ll just stick with that answer until I get it together.

I want to be able to travel in my ideal life and not feel super stressed out about it. Preferably not feel stressed out about anything really. But traveling always just looks like such an amazing experience and I have yet to feel this exceptional journey. I feel I am missing out for sure so I need to hop on that. I don’t travel currently because as stated above I am trying to make my bank account nice and full so until then its work, work, work.

In my ideal life, I would love to have a garden that could feed me. Herbs, vegetables, fruits, and other food just in my back yard! Last time I tried to grow some herbs they ended up dying because I was at a temporary place so I would like to try again if anyone has some tips on how to grow a food garden holla at ya girl.

I would love to have more animal family members in my house, some would call them pets. Again, I am financially working on affording essentials before adopting new homies to love. So for now working at the pet store is nice because I can pretend they are all mine until they go to their forever homes.

This challenge sucks honestly. All I did was rub in my face how I am not doing things that make me happy at this moment. Sure I get home and can do fun things that do make me happy but the majority of my day is spent grinding to make money and worrying about what's for dinner. So now I feel kind of down about how unideal my life feels. Not a great feeling. The worst part is I felt like I could have kept adding to this list of “what is Kenna doing wrong and why she can’t fix it”. Anyway, thats day 18 for ya.

Writing challenge day 12-17

ALRIGHT I’M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER! Okay maybe not better than ever but I am moved into my new place and have internet! Whew sorry for the hiatus but I was just so exhausted every day from packing and moving. So I’m just going to catch up with all the days in one blog because I’m lazy and don’t want to create a new post each day. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Day 12: What are 10 positive affirmations that I love about myself?

Well, call me a big dumb dumb because I had to look up the definition of affirmation... I was pretty accurate with my guess but I think the wording of this question is throwing me off. But I think I get it. Also, I’m cutting it to 5 because I have a lot of writing to do. 

1. I am always trying my best to eat healthy whenever I can.

2. I treat people with the same level of respect and kindness when I meet them

3. I am happiest when I am around animals.

4. I am a great listener for whoever needs it.

5. I am good at making people laugh and it makes me happy when I do so.

Day 13: Do I live life with integrity?

I like to think I live life with being as honest and having good moral principles. I think the moral principles part is probably judged differently depending on who you talk to. My morals are probably different than my neighbors. But honesty is pretty universal and I think it is something I should work on. *gasp* Does this mean Kenna is dishonest?! No, I just think I should say something more often when someone is being dishonest. Speaking out about other peoples dishonesty comes off as snitching to some and it is a hard line to walk. I find myself turning the other way more often than speaking out about something that isn’t the best thing to be turning my back on, but at least I am acknowledging it. Something to work on. It also depends on what the situation is since I feel more inclined to say something about “bigger” issues but should work on speaking out on “smaller” things.

Day 14: What do I believe is possible for me to achieve in this lifetime?

The cheesy answer is whatever I put my mind to and am willing to work for. But in reality, some things are just not attainable no matter how hard you work. Is that pessimistic or realistic? I’m not sure. I think I can find my dream career, or at least I freaking hope so but I don’t even know what that career would be yet. I think I could travel a lot and experience new cultures. In my lifetime I think owning a house isn’t possible, or at least I can’t imagine it now because I just don’t know where I would want to settle down at. I can’t really think of anything else honestly I am getting super tired from my day at work today...

Day 15: What would be my ideal life?

Wow, these all could be super long answers but I just am losing energy and motivation fast. Let's see, I would want to live somewhere not too hot and not too cold with a few pets to keep me company. I would be married eventually and go on epic travel adventures with them as often as I could. I don’t really care to have kids but will teach my nephew and niece to be amazing people and teach them to be kind to people and the earth. Of course, my ideal life would have me being happy so I would like to keep doing all the hobbies that make me so; painting, hula hooping, snowboarding, learning, yoga, going to festivals and other awesome things.

Day 16: What mistakes in life have I learned from that I choose to never make again?

DO NOT STAY WITH A PARTNER BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT BREAKING UP. I am a nice person and take into consideration other people’s emotions and reactions but this should not dictate how I live my life. My last relationship should have ended way sooner but I was afraid of how he would feel and react to it. Um, I honestly can’t think of any more off of the top of my head but I know there are more. I have made a lot of mistakes but we are only human and it is bound to happen. Just learn from it.

Finally today’s challenge! Day 17: What positive unique qualities do I possess?

I can think of a bunch of positive qualities but I am not so sure that they are unique. I am terribly kind but I know a bunch of people who are too. I don’t know guys, I sneeze when I eat dark chocolate sometimes but is that positive? Well, who cares if they are unique I’ll just name a few positive qualities that I love and if other people have them then that is okay by me. I think I learn things pretty quickly and am able to apply my new knowledge well. I am able to make people laugh and smile. I give great hugs (wait this sounds like a dating profile now whoops). I can drive a manual car which seems to be a rare skill nowadays. I am a great listener and can do so without giving input if that is what the speaker needs. I am an excellent nap taker, I actually tend to sleep better in a nap than I do in a normal night sleep. I wish it was reversed but something about a nap just feels so good and I fall asleep so fast. Most people already know I love animals. I’m not sure what else to say but there is always more good qualities to think of I’m sure.

It’s hard to write a lot and think deeply about these challenges because there were so many I had to catch up on so I apologize for the limited content and lack of depth but at least I am caught up.

Self Discovery Day 11

Today was national nap day and I slept way more than I should have. You know when you sleep but just can’t seem to wake up? That was me today, I just kept thinking a little more sleep would perk me up but it actually made me feel almost sick. Anyways, onto the challenge for day 11! What are my dreams in life that I would someday like to achieve?

I feel like my dreams keep changing and it's hard to pinpoint exactly what I want to do. I know I want to travel and get over my fear of it. I am just afraid of the language barrier if I went somewhere with a different language. I have heard from numerous people that there is a lot of signs in English in places and a lot of people can speak it enough to help but I guess I won’t really feel over this fear unless I go do it myself. There are a lot of places I want to travel too so I better get going on getting over this fear. I would love to be able to go see wild exotic animals in their native homes and environments rather than admiring them on documentaries or in zoos. Really channel my inner Steve Irwin.

I would really someday like to own a tiny home. I think it would be a really cool way to travel around and always have a place to live. I really like the idea of not having many possessions except the necessities and things I really love. I love that many of them have off-grid capabilities and I could really reduce my carbon footprint. I can’t see myself knowing exactly where I want to settle down and having the flexibility of a tiny home would be really convenient. Hm, what else do I dream about for my future. I would really like to have a lot of pets but I also don’t want to be put on the tv show hoarders for all my animal love... I would care for them properly but I would have so many if I could! Another dream I have is to become really good at yoga. It seems kind of a silly dream for my future, but I want to be super bendy and be able to handstand whenever I want. Yoga has also helped me a lot when I feel down when I actually get myself to practice yoga and I think a further practice and getting really proficient at it would be amazing for me.

I find it really hard to think of my dreams honestly and I think it is because when I think too far into the future I stress myself out and give myself anxiety. It makes me feel like I should always be doing something to get to my future self I think about rather than living presently and enjoying the moment. I do think about the future and plan for things since I also can’t be too spontaneous because that freaks me out too, but I just can’t think about the future too much so this challenge is tough. I have a lot of dreams but currently, they are more short term for the next year or so. I would like to go to more festivals this year and spend time having more fun with friends. I would really like to go travel somewhere but it’s all a money factor at this point. I know money is an excuse because are a lot of places that are super cheap to travel in, but it's just getting there that's tricky. Airfare isn’t cheap. I feel like I didn’t put enough thought into this challenge but I have to go to bed soon since I have work tomorrow. I shot myself in the foot by putting off the challenge today so my bad, I hope it was still a decent read. :)

Happy day 10

Hello, all you fine and beautiful people out there! I had a freaking awesome day today, so many things were falling into place and just kept me in such a happy mood all day! I was freaking PUMPED up! I hope I was able to spread that good energy to other people too. Today’s writing challenge is: who are 5 people that make you the happiest? What the heck I have to narrow it down to only 5?! So many people bring happiness and light into my life this is tough...

1. My mom is number one fo shizzle. She knows me from day one and has always been there for me to cheer me up and giggle about something silly. She makes me the most happy and even just getting to call her and hear her voice makes me feel instantly happier. I love my relationship with my momma.

2. My sister is next. She knows me like only a sister would and it's a hard thing to describe but when you know, you just know.

3. Nicole has been my best friend since kindergarten and I am so grateful to have her in my life. She makes me happy and knows how to pick me up when I’m down. holy crap I think we have been friends for 20 years now that is insane to think about!

4.  Can animals be my number 4? I legitimately cannot contain myself when I see an animal. They don’t judge and will listen to your troubles. 

5.  I’ve known Steven for only about a year and a half, but I feel he definitely makes me happy and deserves a spot on the list. It takes someone special to be able to pull me out of my grump moods and although sometimes it doesn’t always work he does make me happy once I get out of the mood. He is my logical half and helps keep me grounded. Love you babes!

I feel like this list is hella unfair and I want to keep naming people who make me happy... but its called a writing challenge so I guess it's not meant to be easy. There are many important people in my life, you know who you are!

Day 9

Happy Saturday all you readers! (What are there like 4 of you?) I am naming this Saturday, “Self-Care Saturday” because of today’s writing challenge. What are 5 things I can do to take better care of myself daily? Let's just jump right in shall we?

1. My first thought without putting much effort into this challenge is to drink more water. I think I do a decent job at this task but I could always use more water, right? Water is super important for us and helps us in SO many ways. Water improves circulation and blood flow, aids digestion, it helps curb appetite (at least some of the time), it helps my mood improve, it clears up my face and many other amazing things. So I should drink more water.

2. I love yoga and recently have gotten a gym membership to help make myself stronger. I think to take better care of myself daily I should at least do a little yoga flow session or some stretching. It is just so hard to motivate to go tp the gym or do these things after a long day of work when I’m tired. I know that is just an excuse but its true! I think of going to the gym and the intention is there but then I get sleepy. So I think I should work on that. Come on Kenna, the least you can do is stretch every day.

3. Along the lines of the last care point, I should probably figure out how many hours of sleep my body needs for optimal function. I get up decent in the morning but crash by lunch and maybe its because I get to little or too much sleep? Or maybe it's my food? I heard my thyroid could be not working its best? I don’t know but whatever it is I should pay more attention to my energy and sleep. Just so you all are aware though I freaking love naps and will take one if I get the chance. #NapQueen

4. I definitely need to rein in my sweet tooth. Once I start eating something sweet I have no self control. I do pretty good if I don’t have the sweet thing to begin with but ooooh man once I start.... game over. Just today I ate like three samoa girl scout cookies and like five of their new s’mores cookies. SO delicious. So yeah, self control around the sugar and sweets is something I need to work on fo sho. 

5. Last but certainly not least I think I need to take care of my mental health better every day. What is something I can do to improve this on the daily? Stop talking down to myself so much. I do it and I hate it but I’ve gotten so used to it I sometimes don’t realize I am doing it, and I know it wears me down. I should start small and try little affirmations to myself. I sometimes do this, but usually its a sarcastic crack to myself about something that really isn’t positive. “Oh wow great job Kenna, you did amazing spilling all the water everywhere.” I should knock that off because it doesn’t help me I think. Steven says I take things too seriously and to “relax, it’s only (blank)”... but hey the first step in fixing something is recognizing the problem, right?

So there are my five things to take better care of myself on the daily. I don’t know how well I will be able to execute all of this but I sure as hell can try. And that is a wrap on day 9.