i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.

ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.

iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.

iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.

v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.

vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.

vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.

viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.

ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.

x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.

/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know that we got plenty of options as to how everything with the Ender King is going to go down, but a thought that has not left my mind was the idea of the Ender King downing qPhil in some way and taking him away. Which means there would be a chat message for all to see :)

For example :)

every now and then, i'll see someone ask if magireco would ever broach the topic of teen pregnancy, since it has covered several other difficult real-world issues before. and maybe my brain has been milled into a fine dust but i always think about how this would be an interesting struggle to explore with yuna (and by extension, juri)

yuna's anger, trauma, and constant dehumanization of herself making her feel unfit for motherhood; terrified that she'll end up hurting her child, too... man. we know how protective yuna is of her own from how much she dotes on the girls in her gang, but this love is also part of what makes her suicidal-- she's so scared that the blood on her hands will stain everything she touches.

torn between loving her daughter and feeling that the kindest thing to do would be to give her up to a "normal" household... yuna would want the best for her baby, but she'd be worried that she wouldn't be able to provide that herself. after all, no amount of love can change the fact that she's an oni. would it be cruel to the child to have a monster for a parent? does she even deserve to raise something so innocent, after everything she's done? yuna isn't sure.

then there's the scandal that could spark once the public inevitably learns that the mayor's daughter (and torayamachi's respectable student council president) is pregnant at just 17-18. hasn't even graduated yet and she's having a kid with some low-class delinquent girl. [🐉]

some people would take the news alright- yuna's got a few friends at school who would have her back- but others would definitely start spreading some unsavoury rumours about her. she and hikaru can only do so much damage control, and they'd be powerless on the political front.

(not that yuna would necessarily care how it affects her father's reputation, since she started attending torayamachi academy to spite him, but regardless, i imagine it would only add to the reasons her parents would be less than thrilled about the pregnancy.)

... there's also how young and frail yuna is (higher risk of something going wrong), and the fact that she's a magical girl. she can't fight like this; she'd need others to provide her with grief seeds. it's not like she's leaving all of the fighting to her friends out of laziness or anything, but she'd probably feel like a leech for it. (she'd probably also have to tell hikaru not to push herself too hard; girl would be farming seeds for yuna like there's no tomorrow)

even if this was after the doppel system went global, nobody knows how doppeling could affect expecting mothers. yuna would be devastated if she lost her baby. the idea of her own flesh and blood becoming yet another person she tried and failed to protect would be soul-crushing.

juri's father would take the news alright. he might chew juri out for being irresponsible (even though he knows he's the pot calling the kettle black here), but his biggest hangup would probably be that he's gonna be called "grandpa" when he's not even 40 lmao

juri herself... she loves her family more than anything. family is the reason why she made her wish, and why she busts her chops trying to stay in school. she'd be a great dad!! but she would also be so scared of how her "sickness" could fuck everything up. what if she ends up snapping at her kid and ruining their relationship? what if she gets tangled up in something nasty and it drags their whole family down? what if her kid inherits her "sickness" and struggles with life just as much as she does? it's a lot to wrestle with...

juri would stay in spite of her anxiety, of course. she doesn't wanna cause yuna even more trouble, and she also knows from her own dad that being a single parent is Really Fucking Hard. besides, she's too much of a family man to up and ditch yuna and their (eventual) daughter like that.

(on that note, i like the idea of juri being way more protective of yuna than necessary during the pregnancy. keeps fussing over her to the point that she gets concerned and outright asks juri if something is wrong, haha.)

it's a bit cheesy, but man. something about the contrast of two girls who had planned on killing themselves because of all of the death and suffering they'd caused creating a new life... idk insert some smart-sounding allegory for hope and starting over here i love that stuff

juriyuna as teen parents is just. it's so thematically perfect to me. it covers the whole range from painful to bittersweet to heartwarming, and it would be a really interesting conflict for their characters to have to contend with.

We had a power outage for almost 30 hours and I ended up just writing letters by candle light and reading by the fire. And I will say I have changed my mind about Sharpe's Rifles now that I've finished it: I actually thoroughly enjoyed it, and it's probably one of my favorite Sharpe books. Yes, there's a Teresa shaped hole in it, but even past that I loved the character development, I love how detailed it is, the action is really good, and Vivar is more interesting, I think, than we get in the films. My favorite bit was definitely the end because it throws you for a loop and has a surprise reveal that even shocked me bc I hadn't put two and two together which I really liked- it showed off Sharpe's cleverness and, though he struggled, his ability to lead men and go above and beyond to get the job done. I honestly think I like it more than Eagle, because Sharpe's already established as a good officer in that one, having earned the respect of his men, versus Rifles where there's danger on all sides and you get to see how he earned that respect. Plus I'm a sucker for partisans so I like seeing how Sharpe interacts with his environment and around others outside of the military.

Now I'm just waiting impatiently on the local bookstore to find their copies of Havoc, Fury, and Battle, and I can continue!

x

Fuck it I'm gonna learn to play the guitar AND sing then

hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.

I love how I have at least 4 wip fics in my docs for getter rn-two are finished but need revisions, the other two aren’t finished-and even though I posted in this tag this month moving forward I should at least focus on finishing most of them especially since one of them was supposed to be a Halloween fic and is a au idea I want to unleash even if it’s not gonna get shit for awhile/if ever but yknow what my fucking brain wants me to write? Ryoma in jail. Even though I don’t have a finalized fucking concept so I don’t know what my BRAIN WANTS.

top 10 fumo

Thank you for listening

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for making the HE fanfics. I've been into a lot "surviving human" Splatoon fanfics, and yours are honestly one of my favorites. It actually started inspiring me to make a fanfiction myself (although it is taking a while😅). I don't mind how long it takes for Act 2, I just want you to know I really like everything you've already done and I hope you take as much as much time as you need.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, but it makes me really happy to know that people get inspired by what I've made. I'd love to see it when it's ready to go! It's a bit funny to say this myself since you're telling me this right now, but don't forget to take your time with it. Take breaks when you need to, and know that if you find yourself in a position where you gotta cut some stuff or rewrite a scene or two, you shouldn't trick yourself into thinking you've gotten nothing done - that's still progress. All in all, be kind to yourself.

IMAGES OF HISAKAWA CHIYOKO

" over and over again, i sink my teeth into my weakly self because in this world riddled with mistakes, i want to make sure you can smile. i don't want to lose anyone anymore. "

pg. 3/∞

Okay I didn't wanna bother op by putting this in the tags of that last post I reblogged, the bitch daughter/bastard son post

But that is SO confrontational that it's FASCINATING for me

Like I can't imagine anyone in my family calling someone else a bitch. Even on my dad's side of the family, which is relatively mean, where my dad DEFINITELY things my aunt is a massive bitch.

I wanna put that op's mom under a michael scope and study her. What could possibly inspire you to call your child a bitch. Over PANTS. Like over anything is wild. But over PANTS.!.????? I am fascinated.

Hm hm~

i finally finished moby dick (two weeks!!!!!!! it took me two weeks!!!!!!) and by god i have never swung so wildly between interested to intensely bored for any book i’ve ever read. mr melville sir your infodumping was impeccable and kudos for the blasphemy and homoerotic undertones, but by god i didn’t know anyone could make whales the most boring subject to read about

Hi, I love your attitude and how you're not afraid to speak your mind, it's really admirable. More people should be like you, too many aren't fully happy because they care too much about other's opinions. Good on you for not being like that, it's hard for some people. I wish I was like that, I'm working on it, but it can be super hard. Also, I wanted to ask, are you going to work on any more narusasu fics? Your take on them is perfect and super underrated, I wish more thought like that, I think it's more canon them the positive one, and your Naruto is also more canon than sunshine happy Naruto most people see him as.

Hello and thank you very much~

Tbh I don't understand entirely how hard it can be to express your opinion on something you like or dislike online...I mean I understand irl it's different because you have to deal with certain ppl a lot, but to each their own. And I do understand losing friends online though, or being in an online niche where if you differ you're not likeable anymore, cause I've been there and I've been kinda isolated because I don't share similar opinions, but I also isolated myself for the same reason. So I guess I understand. Kinda. Maybe I'm more cynical and focused on my opinion only because I dealt with a narcissistic psycho on tumblr, who under the pretext of friendship manipulated me into saying more than I wanted and giving them more time and attention than appropriate, which bordered in them controlling my every interaction with ppl (and I did interact with them back then) and friends, and with them threatening in private and shaming me in public. So now even though I periodically get angry if judged for my taste in fiction, I also think it can't be worse than that. But sure I'm suspicious af when someone tries to make friends with me lol

As for my NS fic, I know I should continue Of Feathers And Fangs but I'm lacking the will to write, not just that one but the other unfinished fics as well. Partly because I'm more interested in finishing unfinished fics in another fandom, and mostly because irl I have issues distracting me in a negative way.

When I'll update something I'll post it here so you'll know anyway. Thanks again for your interest.