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benhardyroger · 5 years

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My Light (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor)

Summary: You and Roger have have been in a relationship for a while and you started to feel like you should take your relationship further, since things were getting more serious. On your way back from a lovely evening out, you ask him to meet your parents before both of you leave on your trip to France, only you were struck with some terrible news.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Woo I finally wrote something again!! This was written for @bensrogers 3k celebration, congrats dummy :) The prompt inspiring this fic was “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and I’ve honestly been procrastinating on writing this for Years and I didn’t really proofread, so please excuse grammatical errors. I kinda feel like this one sucks and it could’ve been better, but with that said I hope you guys enjoy My Light!

Roger had been humming the tune you’d heard at dinner the entire way home. You hand was loosely intertwined with his as he swung it back and forth to the the slow romantic rhythm of the tune. He opened the door for you and let you lead him in. The room was cold and pitch black. Roger continued humming and raised his arm and twirled you under it.

You giggled, “Roger hold on let me find the light switch, I can’t see.”

He stopped humming. “Who needs light when I’ve got you, you’re my light,” he said pulling you closer to him by your waist so that you were against each other.

You rolled your eyes, not that the lack of light allowed him to see you do it anyways. “Alright, you may have had a bit too much bubbly, Mr. Corny.” You pushed yourself away from him and made your way to the wall to feel around and turn on the light. “There, much better. See?”

“Too bright,” he said, squinting his eyes. You rolled your eyes once more and led him up the stairs by his hand to wind down after an eventful evening.

When you got to the bedroom, Roger immediately flopped onto the bed and you took a seat on the bench across the room facing the small vanity mirror. You could see Roger behind you through it looking absolutely exhausted.

“Hey Rog, I uhh- I wanted to ask you a question,” you said, taking off your earrings. “Hmm?” he replied, eyes still closed sleepily. “I was thinking before we go on our trip you could maybe meet my parents?” you suggested timidly.

He sat up upon hearing that. His expression was slightly stunned, but overall unreadable.

“I just think it makes sense, we’ve been together long enough and we’re going on a trip together and that way, if it goes great we can start France off strong, and if it goes terribly, and i’m sure it won’t but if it does, we can just leave and forget about it and go eat some croissants or baguettes or whatever they have there,” you were rambling now and you didn’t hear him try to get your attention, “and you know i’m super excited because I know I’ve said this a hundred times before but I’ve always wanted to go and it’s going to be so fun and we’d get to see all the sights, the Eiffel Tower, the-”

“Y/N!” he said again slightly louder this time.

You blinked at his interruption, confused.

He bit his lip and his eyes fell downward. “I’ve been-“ he sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

You could tell by his expression and tone that it wasn’t going to be good. The excitement in your face dimmed as you prepared for what might possibly come next.

“The boys and I, we’re uhh- we’ve got another tour coming up...” he trailed off, unable to continue his thought.

“Well, that’s great, you love touring,” you replied supportively, but still cautious.

“Yeah but the thing is... look, it uhh, it’ll get in the way of France. I won’t be able to go,” he said quietly.

Your expression fell completely. What he had said didn’t register immediately but when it did your emotions were jumbled.

Before you could respond he continued, “But I want to meet your parents, we can still do that, I’d love to meet them.” It was a vain attempt to soften the shattering news you’d just received.

You still couldn’t say anything, though a number of options were running through your head. You couldn’t sort out if you were angry or sad or a combination of both.

“Would you please say something?”

You turned around from the mirror to look at him. “What would you like me to say? I can’t say anything, can I?” You got up from the bench and stood facing him head on.

He looked at you apologetically. “Y/N-” he started, getting up as well and making his way to you.

You interrupted before he could continue, “We’ve been planning this trip for a year, Roger. You’ve already cancelled it once before because you needed to focus on your album and recording, and now you’re going to leave for tour again?”

“I’m sorry, I know, but you know I can’t do much about it, I wish I could,” he said, reaching for your hand as if establishing some sort of physical contact would ease your anger.

You pulled your hand away before he could touch it. “You can’t do anything? I’m sure you could’ve done something earlier, you’ve known we were going for so long!”

“Come on, love, don’t be like that.”

“You knew it would come in the way didn’t you? You knew! And you kept it from me!” Your voice was getting louder now, but you didn’t care. “You don’t even want to go with me do you?”

He frowned at your remark. “You think I don’t want to go with you? Really?” he said quietly.

Your face was getting hotter and you felt the threat of angry tears making their way out. “Yes! That’s exactly what I think! You can’t expect me to think otherwise when you’ve cancelled it not once, but twice!” The two of you were getting closer now as the argument continued.

His voice was beginning to get louder too. “You know how important these things are, Y/N! I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be like this!”

That made you even angrier and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. “‘Like this’? How do you want me to react? We don’t keep things from each other, Roger! And that sure as hell isn't a good excuse! You know how badly I wanted to go on this trip with you! I just wanted to spend time with you, don’t you get that?” You were practically in each others faces at this point.

“Please, you don’t care about that, you only want to go for croissants and the goddamn Eiffel Tower and all that stupid shit,” he said, quite obviously with the intent of taking a jab at you.

You took a step back and blinked causing warm tears to fall down your cheeks. Roger had ripped you a new wound. “Yeah? Okay.” You nodded, looking away from him as more tears fell. As stupid as what he said was, it stung. Saying that you didn’t care about him made you want to punch him in the nose, and worse, it implied that maybe he didn’t know you, that you didn't know each other as well as you thought you did.

“If you think I don’t care about you being there.. If you think I don’t care about you, after all this time, then maybe we’re just not…” You sighed. You couldn’t finish, but you didn’t have to, he knew what you were saying. You turned and walked towards the door. Your hand rested on the doorknob and you turned your head slightly to look back at him. “Have fun on your tour, Roger,” you said, opening the door and leaving without another word.

When you stepped out, the rain was pouring and you braced yourself under the protection of the front door overhead before running towards your car. The rain temporarily camouflaged the tears on your face, but when you sat in your car they rolled down uncontrollably. You slammed your hands against the steering wheel, yelling curses, then finally collapsed onto the wheel with your head in your arms.

Meanwhile, in the house Roger was throwing things in anger at the walls, that somehow weren’t suffering any damages from his rampage.

Neither of you were going to sleep that night.

***

It’d been over two weeks since you’d left Roger’s house. In the aftermath of your argument you found yourself spending the time at your parents’ house about an hour away. You didn’t think your mum even liked the idea of him anymore after seeing what a wreck you’d become the past few days. It was ironic, only a little while back you wanted him to meet your parents and now you weren’t sure if they’d even look him in the eye if they saw him, but neither would you.

For the first three days you’d cried all that you could, the mixture of disappointment and anger and sadness and hurt had washed over and become more of a dull ache in your heart. The fact that you’d had no contact with him in the past two weeks helped, you wouldn’t be able to stand it if you had to hear his voice.

You’d been staying in for a while, not in the mood to go out or do anything really, but now you thought you were finally ready to leave the house. You took a long, almost boiling shower and came out feeling more refreshed than you have in a while. You threw on some fresh clothes and pulled your wet hair out of the towel.

You heard the doorbell from upstairs, but your parents were out, so you ran down the stairs to get it, ruffling your wet hair to break up the clumps. “Coming!” A trail of water drops followed you down to the door.

When you pulled the door open, your eyes met with his baby blues. Your heart dropped and you stepped back in shock. “R-Roger…” You swallowed hard.

“Hey, Y/N.” The corner of his mouth twitched upward, but his eyes were sad. “Can we talk?” His demeanor was that of a guilty puppy.

You wanted to slam the door in his face. In your mind you knew you should’ve, and seeing his face reminded you of the nights spent in tears. But thinking back to the events of that night, you felt a twinge of regret. Maybe if he’d come to you sooner you wouldn’t feel this way, you probably would’ve undoubtedly turned him away, but now you thought if anything you should at least let whatever this is play out, just to know. “I-uhh… yeah.” You opened the door further and stepped aside to let him in. “Yeah, sure.”

He stepped inside and you closed the door behind him. “These are uh- these are for you,” he said holding out the bouquet of white roses that were in his hand.

You took them from him timidly, but couldn’t bring yourself to thank him for them. You set them down on the table. “Rog, what are you doing here?” you asked, rather bluntly.

“I missed you,” he said, looking at the ground. “And I had to see you.” He met your eyes with his. “I kept thinking about how we left things and you haven’t been answering my calls and I couldn’t just-” he sighed, “I couldn’t just leave things the way they were.” He stepped closer to you and there was only about a foot between you. You were looking down to avoid his gaze.- “Y/N, I am so sorry. And I know that doesn’t cut it, I know we’re past that, but I had to say it. I’m sorry I was such a jerk, I’m sorry for not telling you, I’m sorry I didn’t just put you first.” It had seemed rehearsed, the way that each apology rolled into the next one.

Your eyes began to gloss over, part of you was still angry, but you wanted to forgive him, you wanted the pain to end. Your head was going back and forth like a pendulum trying to figure out if you should forgive him, if that really is the right decision for the both of you. Every negative emotion you felt in the aftermath of your argument boiled back up and you took a deep breath in, as if sucking in the air would keep the tears from surfacing.

As if he could hear the thoughts running through your mind, he continued, “You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to.”

“I want to…” you said softly. “I want to forgive you so badly. But every time I think about it, I remember that you lied and you kept secrets, despite the fact that you knew how important it was to me.”

“I know. I know I did, and Y/N I wish I could take all of it back, I do.”

You finally looked up at him, the pools slipping from your eyes. “If you knew I wouldn’t forgive you, then why did you come here,” you asked demandingly.

He bit his lip. “Just because I don’t expect you to, doesn’t mean I’m not hoping you will.” he replied quietly. “Y/N I need you. You’re my better half, you’re my light. And…” he trailed off.

You raised your eyebrows at him, silently urging him to continue.

“And I’m catching a flight tomorrow morning. I couldn’t leave without seeing you.”

The tension in your face released at that and you blinked in confusion. “You-You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly.

A silence fell between you. His words, ‘you’re my light’ rang in your head. The awful feeling that came over you when he revealed that he was leaving made you realize that you need him, too. If you let him go without fixing things, you might lose him forever.

“Roger…”

His face lit up slightly with hope.

You looked up at him and lifted yourself up on your toes, holding on to him by his arms and pressed your lips against his. After the initial surprise, Roger bent down a bit to allow you to get off your toes and deepened the kiss. When you released you wrapped your arms around him, your cheek against his chest. “I forgive you,” you said.

You could feel the tension in his body loosen at your words.

“Thank god,” he said, resting his chin on your head. You stayed in your embrace for a while. “I missed this.” His eyes fell closed.

You pulled away suddenly to look him in the eyes, “but you aren’t getting off that easy, you need to promise you won’t ever, ever keep anything from me ever again.”

“I promise,” he said.

“I’m not done. You also have to make up for a lot when you get back. I’m going to hang this over your head for long time, so get ready buddy.”

He smiled down at you. “I’m gonna miss you when I’m gone.”

You sighed. “I don’t want you to go, Rog. We were going to spend a trip with no one but each other and now you’re going,” you said, knowing that it wouldn’t really make a difference.

“And I promise I will make up for that, but you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

You scoffed, “Yeah well, whoever said that was stronger than me.”

He grabbed your hand and held it in his. “You’ll do fine and besides,” he pulled a stiff piece of paper from the inside of his jacket, “you’re going to meet me along the way.”

He handed it to you and you unfolded it. It was a plane ticket.

“Is this…”

“Yup” he confirmed, face gleaming.

The destination written on it: Orly Airport, France.

As you were about to say something else, your mother entered the room. Her smile fell when she noticed Roger in the room by your side.

“Who’s this?” she asked rather sharply, knowing in the back of her mind the identity of the blonde stranger.

“Mum- This is- Uh-” you sighed, “This is Roger.”

She frowned at the mention of his name. “What is he doing here?” she asked politely, but with a coarse undertone.

“I came to give Y/N here, these flowers,” he added in, picking them up from the table.

You looked up at Roger with a smile. “Yeah.” You turned your gaze back to your mother. “We’re alright,” you said, reassuring her.

Her expression softened. Roger stuck out a hand which she took hold of and shook softly.

“Rog?” He turned to look at you. “Would you like to stay for dinner? My mum makes a mean spaghetti and meatballs.”

“I’d love to.”

You and Roger helped set up the table, him placing the forks and knives slightly crooked, and you going behind him and fixing them.

From the kitchen you heard your mother, “Roger, honey, could you help me in the kitchen?”

He gave you a slightly nervous look and you smiled reassuringly at him. “Go, she doesn’t bite,” you said nodding your head in the direction of the kitchen.

He headed over to the kitchen and your mother was busy over the stove. He stood off to the side of her while she worked. “You need help?” he asked.

“Roger I called you in here to talk to you,” she said, still focusing on cooking.

He felt a pit in his stomach. This can’t be good.

She turned to him finally, “Y/N said that you’re both okay now, but you didn’t see her these past few days. My baby was really hurting, I need you to promise me that won’t happen again.”

He felt a pang of guilt at hearing that. Having to face you after hurting you was already difficult enough, but hearing it from your mother made him feel a new level of terrible.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, I am so sorry I put her through that. I made a mistake, it was stupid and selfish of me. But I love your daughter, more than anything. I promise I won’t ever hurt her again.”

His voice was sincere and apologetic, and you could hear it from the corner outside the kitchen where you were eavesdropping.

“Right then,” she said. She turned to the cupboard and grabbed the bowls. “Here,” she said, plopping them into his hands with a smile.

He smiled back at her and exited the kitchen. When he turned the corner he saw you, leaning against the wall outside the kitchen. “Hey, whatcha doing there?”

You straightened up quickly. “Uh- nothing…”

He chuckled a bit. “So how much of that did you hear?”

The corners of your mouth turned upwards. You placed a kiss on his cheek. “Just enough,” you replied. You took the bowls from him, turned around, and walked briskly towards the dining table, leaving him smiling behind you.

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forgetmenots04 · 3 years

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Read it because im giving you genuine advice

I was married!!!! I was a wife!!! Im just making you take responsibility for your skeezy behavior I WAS MARRIED!!! I was a wife!!!!! I know what it means to be a devoted wife that takes care of her husband!!! Ive done it before!!! Im a grown ass woman!! I married a guy in the airforce a long time ago i know what it means to "think you've found your soul mate" but guess what??? Even if you find some meek subservient bitch willing to lay down and let you walk on her in silence you will still have problems!!! Life's tragedies just don't stop when you think you found the one Im making you own up to it like an adult!! I was married hayden!!!!

I was married for 5 -6 yrs!!!! I had known the guy since i was 16 i was a wife to somebody already . I know what it takes to be in a relationship long term! I know what it takes to be in a marriage and committed do you!?!?

I know what it means to truly love somebody and how much EFFORT it takes!!!! Its hard work! And you don't always get a return either !

And i dont think you have it in you yet to fully commit to someone

! I know all about the death and birth of love!!! I know what it means to struggle and to love hard

You GOT SO JEALOUS AND MAD when another guy was calling me pretty but im not suppose to be jealous that my boyfriend is flirting with other women telling them how hot they are and inviting them over to watch movies and presumbly cuddle and fuck like idk hicometome and sunkissed. How would THAT MAKE YOU FUCKING FEEL????? IF i was all over other men LIKING EVERY SINGLE POST and telling them how hot they are THAT WOULD INFURIATE YOU!!! YOU WOULD DUMP ME IF I DID that shit to you!!!!. And then he lies about it straight to my face! And you think i didn't know that i was being played and you have the audacity to sit here and lie straight to my face!! You are caught hayden!!! Red handed!!! All the women you thought i was too stupid to know about like "hicometome" and sunkissed and lavender dreams and french fashion bloggers based in Lyon and angel cruor. It hurts to see that you have a type "goth artsy girls with tattoos" i am so much more than some fuck boys type. And you are a fuck boy!!! You have the haircut and the beard like every other mediocre average white man. DO BETTER!!!! Don't treat the next girl like you did me!!!!' Be a better man!!!! Show more compassion and gentleness and honesty and sincerity if you want to get married you can't just give up when things get hard! And believe me you think im a lot?????? Wait until youre married and can't just ghost somebody whenever you fight. Somebody that loved me would have tried harder for me i was even considering just driving up there myself to see you??? I'd be putting no one at risk and would've been safe about it with goggles mask and gloves. But from the beginning you had different intentions than i did. Maybe just to fill the time or else you were lonely but you never intended on seeing me from the beginning what you did was wrong!! And when you're married you've GOT TO be able to give her a REAL apology NO FUCKING "im sorry IF it came off rude" SAY!!!!! "IM sorry FOR being rude and insensitive!! Give her a real goddamn apology. And while youre young learn how to make genuine heartfelt apologies practice it!!!!' Because the woman you marry deserves better than how you treated me Don't treat her like you treated me or else youll lose her too!

And yes baby i was so stupid i continued talking to you after you told me you were moving because you made me feel like you were serious about wifing me up!!! You told me you had serious intentions!! If i had known earlier that all of this meant nothing to you then i couldve saved myself from you. Im just left wondering why we didn't cut it off sooner.... Clearly you felt lonely and had WAY different intentions. I just wish you would have told me the cold hard ugly truth so that i couldve saved myself from you

I couldve saved myself from you!!!! We shouldve ended it sooner!!! You should have told me the truth!!!!! That this wasn't a serious thing and that you had other women you're talking to. You could have saved me from all of this pain!!! If you would've let me go earlier!!! That's all i regret....is not being told the truth and not protecting my heart from the WOLF that YOU are!!! .

You shouldve told me the truth we shouldve cut it off as soon as you got the job!!!! That was a mistake!!! And you claim you don't stay friends with your ex's and i know that's a lie from all of your likes and comments. So it has to be something with me that you don't ever want to see again .i called you out!! By name!! And you hate that...i tried my best hayden you had a girl that loved you Even while she knew you were out saying similar things to women all over the internet.

DO BETTER IF U WANT MARRIAGE AND KIDS!!! YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER FOR THE NEXT GIRL!!!! Actually try!! And don't lie to her like you did me! That's all i have to say

You are not an empath!!!! You are not an empathetic person. An empathetic person wouldn't lie over and over again and cheat an empathetic person would've told me the truth that this wasn't serious and you were talking to other women. You are not empathetic!!! You are a WOLF!! You lie and cheat!!! An empath wouldn't discard me like i meant nothing to them an empath DOESNT THROW PEOPLE AWAY!' You are not a fucking empath!! This couldve been fixed!!!

This couldve been fixed!!!! I couldve gotten my room mate to drive me up to new york!!! We could have fixed all of this if you just would've TRIED!!!! All it took was EFFORT!!! I could have gotten my roommate to drive me up there we could have fixed this!! But you hate me now for MAKING YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. And CONFRONTING. You on your cheating . I bet that's why you can't have me in your life because i CONFRONT you! You dont like being confronted!! That's why you HATE me and can't have me in your life at all. You never planned on seeing me!! You never wanted to see me you were never serious!!! You cheated on me and lied to me and made me feel like i mattered that you were SERIOUS!

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