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ruanais · 2 months

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A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-

hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3

@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D

@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !

@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D

@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3

@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!

@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3

@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-

@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO

@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3

@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!

@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(

@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!

@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3

@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!

@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D

@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3

for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(

— ur dearest rua <3

also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j

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#BUT OMFG #IM GONNA MISS U GIYS #I WAS SOBBINV A RIVER WRITING THIS :(#AUGH #LEMME CRY IN A CORNER #I WANTED TO RAMBLE SM ABT MY BF IN HERE BUT RUANAIS ERA HAS ENDED D:#BUT THABK YOU #:(#sobs #lets meet if I ever have another account when I get out of this hell called uni

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northern-passage · 1 year

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honestly same...I also only stick to reading the same ifs I've been reading since like 2 years ago + as a disabled lgbt person this community has gotten to toxic to interact wth tbh

hmmm putting this under a read more but here's some ramblings about my personal experience as well as some advice if anyone wants it

before i started writing tnp, when i was just a reader, it was very easy to curate my space and avoid a lot of the nastier people (especially back when the forums were the main space for people to talk about IF. i didn't go on the forums at all) and i was very much outside of the fandom and followed only like one artist whose recommendations i started off with before finding more stuff on my own.

once i became an author though it is impossible to avoid certain groups of people and it's really hard to hold on to that comfortable space. over the last like 3 years now my audience has definitely changed and dwindled a lot due to my.... Big personality but before that i had to endure a lot of harassment, people stalking me, people harassing my friends just for being my friend, almost constant transphobia and racism, and even now i still have people that seem to just camp in my inbox waiting for any opportunity to try and hurt me/get a reaction out of me.

i've been pretty open about all of this stuff happening too which most people also don't like, though that seems to be pretty standard across any fandom when you try to talk about how bad they are. i'm never really surprised when other authors delete without any warning or they just slowly stop posting and never come back. it's definitely something i've wanted to do more than once and still think about sometimes. even now after finally seeming to find my "niche" and a more understanding audience, it's really hard and i struggle with finding inspiration and motivation because of how people have treated me.

unfortunately i think it's always been this way, it's the nature of sharing work online and especially with IF feeling so "collaborative" people really feel entitled to it. and i also see readers facing this same kind of harassment, too, so it's definitely not just an author problem.

my advice is to just block and ignore people as best you can and just stay in your own little bubble with your friends or at least people that you trust. if you're an author going through any of the things i mentioned then just know there are a lot of other authors that have had to go through it, too, and that you should also just block and ignore to the best of your ability. just because you're an author doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. i used to respond to a lot of messages which is why i feel that a lot of my harassment lasted for so long, because they thought it was "funny" to upset me, but the more you respond and give them attention the more they'll keep doing it. so just block anons and move on (i know i make it sound so simple. trust me i used to be really bad about it, now i try to take at least a day or two before responding and usually by that time i realize how stupid it is and i just delete it without any fanfare)

at the end of the day though it's your decision, and your well-being comes first before anything else. i say this to both authors and readers, there's no reason to force yourself to stay in a place that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. sometimes it's better to just let go and move on, though i know that's easier said than done. i'm a prime example as someone who still logs into tumblr daily despite trying really hard not to do that.

and i'm not saying to give up on your work, but rather that writing privately is always an option, and it's what i've been doing now with my other projects ever since i took siren's call down. i know the desire for outside validation can be overwhelming but i think it's important to remember that you should be writing this for yourself first and that there's no harm in keeping your work private until you're ready. tumblr is fun but there's also a lot of problems that can be difficult to deal with while you're also trying to keep motivation and creativity up to write your story, and it can be really discouraging.

like i said, your first priority should be yourself, and if you have to step back away from tumblr/fandom then you should & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

all of that to say that there are nice people out there, too, i've made really good friends here and i really value their friendship and their understanding, especially when i was going through the worst of it. and there are a lot of readers who have been very kind to me and that have sent me very nice messages and drawn lovely art over the years and i always try to focus on that over everything else.

it can be really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity and hostility which is why it's so important to find your people and be supportive of each other.

#obviously negative discussion under the break #i might delete this later #the only thing i dont really have any advice for is the stalking. im still dealing with fallout from that #and i don't know if it's something that i'll ever be able to get over or really feel closure about #ask #anonymous

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makeste · 1 year

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[39 weeks later]

well all right then. I owe some explanations and some updates, so let's just get straight to that.

1. "what the hell, makeste. you can't just disappear for nine months and leave a sign on your blog that says "gone leavin'.'"

yeah I know. sorry guys.

so there are a lot of reasons for my long absence, but when you boil it all down, the essence is basically as follows: at its absolute max capacity, my ADHD brain is capable of keeping up with any two of the following: (1) work; (2) school; (3) tumblr. that's it. only two. no more and no less.

and for years this has not mattered at all because school was no longer in the picture! but as mentioned in my last two update posts, as of this past January, I had to start taking classes again for career advancement reasons, meaning my brain was quickly overloaded and something had to give. so yeah. I can assure you the past nine months have absolutely sucked and I am not AT ALL sure that it was worth it, but it is what it is.

I also want to add that I never intended to basically fall off the face of the earth anywhere near to this extent, let alone for this long. but in retrospect I probably should have seen it coming, seeing as this is not the first time it's happened, sob. and also in hindsight, towards the end of last year (during which I was already struggling to keep up with the weekly BnHA reactions) someone mentioned that it sounded like I was showing signs of being potentially close to burnout. turns out that observation was spot on lol.

so yeah. tl;dr, burnout + an obnoxiously busy real life schedule + a sprinkling of good old-fashioned ADHD "somehow I always underestimate how hard it is to restart something after taking a long break from it, and the longer I go without returning the worse it gets" brain shenanigans (more on that last part further down).

2. "MAKESTE. WHILE YOU WERE GONE, IN THE MANGA, THERE WAS A THING -- "

yes I have unfortunately been spoiled about The Thing.

3. "so wait, exactly how spoiled are you?? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE THING"

I will make a separate post to talk about The Thing! I expect that many people will want to talk about this, and tbh I've really been wanting to talk about it too! I'm telling you, when I say the past nine months have sucked, I mean they have truly SUCKED, you guys. school is so fucking boring and I miss rambling about fandom stuff so fucking much.

anyway but with that said, ~*~PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANY SPOILERS IN THIS POST~*~. I don't want to delete anybody's comments! but I will if necessary because I am a spoiler narc and I don't want to risk accidentally ruining stuff on the off chance that a non-spoiled person comes across this post. so yeah. however please do feel free to message me or comment in my other post (which I will link once it’s up; eta: here it is) if you do want to talk about The Thing.

4. "so aside from The Thing, are you otherwise caught up with the BnHA manga currently?"

so here's the hilarious part: no, I am not caught up. not even remotely. literally the last chapter of BnHA I read was chapter 339, which is the most recent chapter that I liveblogged, all the way back on December 31, 2021. I literally have not read a single new BnHA chapter in the year of our lord 2022 lol. :') basically for the same reasons I mentioned in my previous update post. tl;dr, reading/liveblogging a single new BnHA chapter is a minimum 4+ hour commitment for me, and by this point I have accrued a backlog of... oh sweet lord. 35 total chapters lol. so yeah. that's approximately 140 hours of catch-up that I need to do, which is paralyzing just to think about.

I do still plan on catching up, obviously! I'm just not sure how, lol. I may have some time to spare this weekend, so I might try to binge a few chapters and see how it goes. then I'll have to come up with some sort of sustainable posting schedule. I've been thinking about this for a while and I might try to do a Mon/Wed/Fri thing if I can swing it, but I don't want to commit to anything for sure yet until I see how those first few chapters go. fingers crossed, though.

anyway so I guess that's it. post is getting long. anything more will just be rambling.

sorry again, guys. how is everyone? what did I miss. aside from twitter dying and tumblr welcoming the refugees into our culture by inviting them to participate in the newly created fandom of a nonexistent 1970s mafia film.

#makeste reads bnha #real life update

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blkkizzat · 17 days

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hi im shy so i haven't interacted b4 but i luv your fics! i like that you write stories & just don't post smau or twt porn links.

Hey nonny! TY for liking my work, its appreciated!! I do encourage you to interact though, even if its just a comment or continued anon msgs cause they do encourage me to write. I also really like receiving them <33 so I hope you or anyone else feels comfy to interact with me. *i dont bite i promiseeeee*

However, I honestly don't think theres anything wrong with smaus or twt porn links.

I incorporated smaus into my fics before. I adore writing or reading a good crack fic/post so I definitely think they have their place too and they are funny! I just personally struggle when it comes to writing shorter content so not something in my wheelhouse to do. (lol anything i write under 1k words i automatically think is dogshit. lol someone teach me to write short stuff i beg.)

Also I be EATING UP those twt porn links!! I don't post any of my own as my twitter is a stan account and I don't follow/like/retwt porn on there cause I don't want to mess up my algorithm. But I do be bookmarking them HEAVY! They are good reference material for my smut fics tbh.

Also I try to stay out of the mess/discourse cause I feel like people should be able to enjoy what they like without writing lame dissertations in defense/debating about it. But since we are on the topic already I'll add I haven't really understood the hate for them in particular, especially those saying people who like/post them have porn addictions because what!? Like we are not all on here to write/read smut?? pot---meet--->kettle. Anyway I guess I can understand the frustration some have when they assume they are stealing attention away from fics, but idk tumblr is huge and there is a place/audience for everyone is my belief. I've seen many long 6k+ fics breaking 20k+ so I think theres interest in long fics as well (one of my 7k+ fic has 18k+ notes). But I work in marketing, am getting my MBA right now and have worked in the middle of business and creative my entire career (at one point i worked for Twitch directly with streamers/influencers) so I can say when it comes to anything content/creative driven its honestly it's less about the quality of the individual work and more about regularly finding, interacting and catering to your audience if you really care about notes that much . I think its far more important though to do it for fun. Especially since we are not getting paid and doing this for free-99! So much creativity gets stifled when its too much about the business/results/notes side and you are working to please others/for clout. Thats a whole ass job in itself lmfao! I used to write on ff.net back in the day (years ago omfg) and stressed myself out so much from all the reviews/requests that I ended up abandoning it and was scared to write fanfics for years because of the anxiety of 'letting ppl down' until I got back into it last fall and decided to stop giving a fuck LOL.

Ahhh but I could ramble on about that for hours so let me stop I'm doing what I said I didn't want to do cause this is def now a mini dissertation from me going down the rabbit hole on this LMFAO! (im long-winded af lol)

But ty for the ask nonny I hope you come back soon <3

#kizzatanswers #anons #kizzatrambles

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captorcorp · 7 months

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ok im rambling about my thoughts on tadc bc i have many (long post)

ok first of all general character opinions with walk cycle gifs to break up the walls of text (gifs from here):

caine: the silly guy... literally why red recommended this to me was the digital world setting + an ai character and they know me too well because every ai character is my favorite by default. i'm very excited to see what we end up learning about him throughout the series, also i absolutely love that he was inspired by AM from ihnmaims but 'if he was a silly little guy instead of fueled by hate' or whatever the creator said about him. his weird head design is really creative though it does discomfort me a bit sometimes, something about the combination of eyes and teeth;;; still think he's kinda tumblr sexyman coded besides the teeth head but most people are too distracted with objectifying jax so he gets a pass

pomni: she's cool!! it's hard to form a solid view of her so far bc most of what we've seen is her being understandably overwhelmed with and O.O at everything, but she seems like she'll be a pretty interesting protag - i liked them showing her moments of weakness with leaving ragatha behind too. that being said i think she stretched out the 'omg this isn't real what's going on???' freaking out bits way too long but that's just a personal gripe with that sorta stuff in media like this. if i was isekai'd into the digital circus i would simply be so chill about it after only 5 minutes of panic. rip to pomni but i'm different /j oh yeah also a fun character design even though i don't really like clowns she's just very Shaped

jax: motherfucker. jk i actually don't feel that strongly about him i just find him slightly annoying at times. at first i thought 'oh ok he's a loveable asshole yeah he's kinda entertaining so he's cool' and then he just ended up being more asshole than loveable. also thought he was sexyman coded and was unfortunately right this time ^^; apparently he's the creator's fave too?? so hopefully he doesn't get away with too much stuff without consequences, or he's gotta actually get some positive traits yknow. however i do love his design with the big grin and semicircle eyes and etc, very cartoony and fun. if the controversial blorbo poll was still open i would submit him bc it seems like the fandom is split on him. but also kinda tired of him from fandom overexposure

ragatha: she's really nice and i want to be her friend - looking forward to seeing where her character goes in the future though, bc we've only seen her being polite and forgiving and sweet and etc, and i think she should be allowed to kill people /hj. it was cool seeing her get glitched too even if ;-;. i was never into raggady ann stuff like i've heard the creator is but her design is still cute too, even if less surreal than some of the others ^^

bubble: keep forgetting this guy exists, not a huge fan tbh? gets some points for being another ai though. looks like a chain chomp. i do like that they're able to be popped and respawn though, that's a fun quirk. the scene with them cleaning up after pomni is p gross

kinger: i barely thought about this guy during the pilot tbh so was surprised to see the fandom all adoring him. kinda just reminds me of fear from inside out. but actually overexposure of him from tumblr and other people enjoying him kinda made him grow on me a bit (reverse of what has been happening w jax). he's pretty cool to me now. i can't believe fandom already gave him a tragic backstory with that queen chesspiece we see crossed out...

zooble: another character i didn't really think about, though i like their design and detachable body parts and such. i also couldn't really get a good sense of their personality tbh? i think they just need more screentime honestly

gangle: i wanted to like her a lot more than i did when i first saw her bc her design is very fun, with the ribbon-based body and comedy/tragedy masks and etc. but ended up not getting too interested in her as a character. but i think she's in the same category as zooble where she needs more screen time and character development though? bc she still seems like she could be cool if her personality gets explored more

thoughts on the overall pilot:

ngl i have a whole bunch of gripes about it despite also rotating it in my mind. i feel like a lot of the characters are a little 1-dimensional currently, even if i do find those dimensions appealing for the most part, hoping they get more characterization in the actual main season though. also most of the pacing/jokes didn't really land for me or felt a bit forced, though there were some good bits like king's hands following zooble's head, pomni opening doors to surreal scenes like the bathing mannequin, jax getting choked by zooble's hand, the randomly generated 5-letter names, also any of the cartoony imagery gags like the censor bars or cartoon dust cloud of gloinks.

however, overall i enjoyed it still!!! all of the animation has so much charm and character to it, surreal semi-human character designs are always great, it's very colorful and bright and reminiscent of old early 2000s activity center games, etc. it gives me kinda 'welcome home' vibes, with both being bright and cheery exteriors meant to mimic old media style that mask darker stuff under the surface. also the general plot of like. people being trapped in this weird setting and forced to participate in fucked up (?) games by some mysterious mastermind (well we know who the mastermind is but not much about him) while struggling to escape or understand why they've been trapped here... very common plot but always is intriguing to me. also of course [holds digital worlds and ais in my hands] my beloved tropes...

thoughts on the fandom:

i am. concerned. that there seems to be an overlap with the h*zb*n h*t*l fandom;; but also i don't know anything about that show's status besides like. callout posts about the creator and people complaining about the pacing/character designs and etc. so i don't really know if all of the hh fans is bc it's like, also an animated series that appeals to the same audience? or if it's going to be too similar or inspired from it or also have a problematic creator somehow 😔

otherwise it's whatever, maybe a bit on the :I side bc i already saw someone make a y*nd*r* jax imagine post and it scared me hjkdfs. otherwise mostly just usual fandom stuff i think? dunno.

actually nevermind i just got back from twitter and apparently the creator is already feeling :/ about their own fandom and apparently people on tiktok are hcing some fucked up stuff about jax so. can fans be normal for 2 seconds please.

#kcat talks #ok ramble over i'm normal again ^^ <- lying #just f about the association w the fanbase if it continues to be :/

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astudyincontrasts · 1 year

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Here’s a little confession for you, study <3

I used to read x reader fics as a kid (probs at 10-12?) but since it isn’t very acceptable even in some fandom spaces, I stopped. When I found your writing, I still felt a little weird about it and almost ashamed? But your writing has given me back the joy I felt as a kid reading silly x reader Naruto fics in the best of ways???

Like. I remember reading Penance for the first time, and pressing to get notifications whenever you post to keep track of your writing? And seeing the “study has posted ‘Penance - Chapter 10’” gave me so much joy. I can’t even express it with words. Seeing you post anything, writing or not, just makes me so happy. <3

And today I was rereading some old Penance asks, and my dad asked what I was grinning about and I just dismissed him but he said something along the lines of “it’s nice to see you smile, anyway.” I know your writing isn’t, like, the cure to depression (actually it might be), but. Just. Finding such joy in reading again after years of not doing so, and after years of depression,,,,,,,,,,,,,, girl (gender neutral) do you understand the power you hold?

I’m just rambling but I wanted you to know that your writing literally changed my life for the better. <3 I hope you’re well and I’m sending you all the best <3

you come to my house, you make me cry my own tears?? ?

No sorry you get back here RIGHT NOW and get hugged for like three straight hours. IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW GET BETWEEN THESE ARMS OR SO HELP ME

Fuck. You got me good, fam. I’m a little shaky-handed emotional rn. This is such a sweet thing to come tell me, and more than feeling proud that you liked my work, I’m proud of you for finding that spark of joy in your life again, for smiling and being excited and sharing in the world. Thank you for this and for being so incredibly lovely 🖤

When it comes to x reader fics I’ll be honest with you, I never wrote a single one in the many many years I’ve been writing. I took a very long hiatus from tumblr and writing after the porn ban gutted my friend group on here and Arcane kinda dragged me back to tumblr after I fell in love with it. I wanted to start writing again after devouring Gaybybirth’s entire Viktor library and when I took a look at the landscape of fic writing, x readers were literally all I saw, so I figured what the hell, that’s the popular format now I might as well. I get the appeal of it too; you can more easily slip yourself into the story and enjoy the canon character you want to bang without having to wrestle with someone else’s OC standing between you and your beloved blorbo. I’m not sure it’s the best format for my work but I enjoy it and so far it’s been loads of fun to play with. I’m definitely shifting slowly, moving away from y/n use which tbh feels kind of childish and awkward and interrupts the flow, and more toward first person perspective OC vibes that people can still feel comfortable reading as themselves.

None of that matters though. What matters is how I’m going to be thinking about this sweet, wonderful message for a very long time, and how happy I am that something I made could mean so much to you. “It’s nice to see you smile” … that’s a pretty awesome power, but I think it also belongs to you 🖤🖤🖤🖤

#asks #penance #😭🖤#don’t look at me my eyes are sweating

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effervescentdragon · 6 months

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Hi! I just wanted to say that this week I chose to read some of the fics you have up in AO3 ( and by some of them I mean a lot) and I'm obsessed with your Sebchal Old Guard AU.

I haven't watched the movie yet, but I've been tempted in the past and your writing was the last reason I needed to do it.

That scene when Sebastian has apparently died and Charles holds him while praying in Latin, and he is so devastated about losing Sebastian because immortality is only a gift if Charles gets to share it with him.

That was..WOW..Yeah. No words. Tens across the board.

Those dreams of Lewis and Nico. The ending in Suzuka when Charles is wearing red again. People choosing to spend immortality together just really gets to me, I guess.

That fic really did something for me, and I have to thank you for it.

PS: your Nico/Jenson Soulmate fic made me see why people ship those two.

PS 2:"Red Gods of Old" is so phenomenal. I had to keep pausing to look at the wall and think about every paragraph.

PS 3: I was blown away when I saw you posted again, and blown away again because I had already read the Piarles piece, but didn't realize it was part of a series. I loved your first chapter. So angsty, and I hated the fact that you made me relate to Lando, but also thank for that.

Thank your for sharing your writing, and I know sending this right now seems so convenient because of your post earlier, but I really enjoyed the reading sprint I had on your stuff and I wanted to say so. Sorry for writing so much this got a little bit longer than the single paragraph I had intended it to be. :)

anon this made me so happy. like so so so happy, insanely happy. the answer is gonna get long because i cant not ramble about all this, so, cut.

my sebchal old guard au is my favourite thing ive ever written and i love it so much and people dont often go for it, though i do have some wonderful asks in my inbox that im saving for a rainy day and i just. thank you for coming here to tell me this and i hope you watched the movie because its MASTERFUL. i put so much into that fic, for example i tried to figure out how to make two white boys be joe and nicky without being insensitive or appropriative about race, and how not to apply the fundamentality of joe's loveliness of being an arab man (gentle and kind and a poet in his soul) to this german dude. that one kept me up for a while, so i decided not to mirror it perfectly but to apply seb and charles' personalities into the context, except adapting the other way around. it was a challenge to write, because i wove so much little ideas and nods to other people in there, not the least lewis and nico as andy and quynh, and then in the end i just really wanted them to come a full circle and somehow tie it in with f1. i always do this in my au's, give a little nod to f1 somehow, just to show my love for it. anyways, thank you so much for reading it and just. i love that you liked it.

oh god the princess cake soulmate fic - i saw the prompt and i couldnt resist! it turned out to be a prompt by a tumblr friend so that worked out even better. i love nico and i love him with jenson and i need to get back to writing him some more soon tbh. he is such a complicated and interesting character and he has twists and turns and i just love him insanely much. (if you liked the soulmate fic, i refer to this fic as my princess cake master thesis, so you may like that one too, maybe.)

oh my fucking god. this part. this part had me stopping in the middle of my corridor when i saw it because like. nobody reads that fic? nobody knows it and its my first proper rpf that i wrote and i love it so much and i just. im just heart-eyeing you now, because that was me trying to figure out some things about seb and about ferrari and to make it work in my head so i know how to proceed, so, thank you for reading it, and especially mentioning it!

thank you also so much for reading my carlando, im very excited about it because i never wrote them and im a bit nervous about the characterisation but so far it seems like it has a positive reception. i made it angsty on purpose because lando is just a ball of anxiety and i rly tried to show it. im super hyped about the next chapter two, but please keep all your limbs crossed for my uni work, which i have to do tomrrow on penalty of death.

please, never think its inconvenient to read something as lovely as this ask, no matter if its because of a post i made or just because, it literally doesnt matter, because you took the time to come and tell me these lovely things anyway. it made me happy and it made me hyped up and thank you. and there's never ever too much rambling, i dont see this as rambling i see this as something lovely. thank you <333

#can you tell how excited i am to talk about all of this?#THANK YOU #lovely anons <3 #wholesome wholesome wholesome #akira answers asks #about my writing. i ramble a LOT.#some shameless self promotion too bcs if i dont #who wil :D

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cheesybadgers · 9 months

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I read the post about people not using the ask feature anymore. So three asks:

1. Do you think the ask feature has been decimated by Discord Servers? I find that's where most of my fandom discussions happen nowadays. It's collaborative and less clunky once you get a critical mass of like minded people.

2. What kind of asks do you miss most? Questions about your current fandom? Questions about your personal life or preferences? Something random and batshit insane?

3. How do you feel about anonymous ask? I hate being perceived, so here we are.

Hey there, Anon! Ooh these are some great questions that have got me thinking this Friday evening, so thank you for sending them 😊

I'll put my answers under the cut, as er, they got a little long and rambling, oops lol.

Yes, I think Discord has definitely played a part, especially since Tumblr got rid of its group chat function. I don’t know what they were thinking with that decision tbh. It was a feature I actually used and it was nice to be able to talk to several mutuals at once without it being completely public.

Not everyone on Tumblr necessarily uses or wants to use an entirely different platform to communicate. I’ve tried a couple of Discord groups and one I liked because it was quiet and manageable (although it’s defunct now). I knew everyone in the group pretty well and we used to be in a Tumblr group chat together. The other one was people I didn’t know very well who all liked the same show, but it was too fast paced for me to keep up with. And nearly everyone else was in a different time zone, or knew each other better, so there wasn’t much point in showing up hours after the conversation ended, scrolling through tonnes of messages just to add something that was mostly ignored anyway lol.

I think Discord serves a purpose for existing friends wanting to chat in private, or if a subgroup of a bigger fandom wants to congregate somewhere, but as a main discussion platform? Hmm I don’t know. A lot of them require invites and rely on you knowing they exist in the first place. If you’re new to a fandom or just want to lurk for a bit to get the lay of the land, that puts you at a disadvantage straight away.

I’m going to show my age here, but this is why I think I still lament the heyday of LiveJournal and forums/message boards (I know Reddit still exists but the forums I used were fandom-specific and entirely run by fans). LJ struck a good balance between public and private and between fandom and personal, as you could add friends to your LJ account and restrict blog access to friends only. Meanwhile, you could also join community groups for whatever fandoms you were into and post in those without having to share the inner workings of your mind lol.

Of course, you added friends you met on the community groups and that’s how you got to know people. And because it didn’t have to be a free-for-all, you actually got to learn a lot about the people you followed. They shared their names, photos, details about their lives, their families, school/college/jobs etc. as well as the fandom side of their personalities. Personally, I would never be that open on Tumblr because anyone could stumble across my page. There’s no happy medium anymore. It’s either share everything with the entire internet (or at least all registered Tumblr users) or hide away in a private chat group.

I had a similar experience to LJ with a band’s forum in the ‘00s as well. I haven’t spoken to a lot of those people in 10-15 years but I still remember their usernames and real names, what they looked like, which other forum members they were in relationships with, forum meetups, iconic forum dramas and fallings out we all had. Oh, and I married someone I met on there too lol. I know online romances still happen on Tumblr, but what I’m getting at I suppose is back in those days fandom felt like a proper community.

Obviously there were idiots and people you didn’t like, but because it was moderated and there were rules about abuse, it taught you how to keep things civil and to just ignore/scroll past stuff you didn’t want to see. If you disagreed with someone, you couldn’t send them anon hate or try and get their account suspended out of spite; it forced you to engage with someone else’s point of view and to debate. There was also a much wider range of ages than Tumblr, which, much to contrary belief on here sometimes, isn't actually a bad or dangerous thing lol. I learnt a lot from older forumites when I was an angsty teenager. It wasn’t perfect and there was the odd power hungry mod and people you were just never going to see eye-to-eye with, but that’s life, isn’t it? That’s how it works offline as well. And in hindsight, I’m so grateful I got to experience my formative years in that version of online fandom rather than the version we have now.

2. What kind of asks do you miss most? Questions about your current fandom? Questions about your personal life or preferences? Something random and batshit insane?

I guess I just miss more good faith/no ulterior motive bonding over shared love of characters/shows etc. whether that be in asks or not, and whether it’s with fellow creatives or people who’ve never created anything.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t answer anything personal, random or batshit insane though…within reason of course 😂 But I don’t naturally really talk about myself a lot unless someone asks or it’s relevant to a conversation. I’m like that offline as well…I guess it’s just my introverted nature. So, fandom stuff always feels like easier ground to ramble about on Tumblr. And the more personal stuff usually follows suit once there is an established relationship of trust. That’s one thing that's been hard to find in the last few years, because too many people have screwed me over lol. I suspect that’s probably a barrier to making new connections across the board if anyone has ever had bad past experiences in fandom. It certainly makes you more cautious.

For comparison’s sake, back in 2015, I was involved in a small but very active and interactive fandom. Everyone sent asks to everyone about the characters, discussed the show vs the book, different ships, ‘what if?’ type questions. I remember receiving quite a few asks, even though I had only made a handful of gifs and graphics for the fandom and generally didn’t create much. I don’t remember there being a divide between creatives and non-creatives though. We were all just collectively losing our minds over the source material and it was absolutely joyous. There was a group fanbook made and even an in-person meetup. Again, it was a proper little community for a while.

Skip forward to 2020 and the fandom I got involved with had elements of community when we were all in lockdown and more people were hanging out online because they were stuck at home. But I think the difference by this point, at least in this specific fandom, was that it was very difficult to feel heard if you weren’t also creating.

I remember having a very specific thought at one point of ‘You either get stuck in and contribute the things you want to see that aren’t already there, or you move on’. It wasn’t in terms of thinking I had to ‘earn’ my place in the fandom, but more I thought I had something different to offer but just quietly saying it in tags or piggybacking on someone else’s posts weren’t enough anymore, especially when I wasn't necessarily getting much back at times.

And I think I managed to carve out my own little niche corner of the fandom in 2021. I got some lovely asks about my fics, I used to chat back and forth in reblogs with a few people and I’ve had some insane essay-length comments on my fics in the past that I never expected in a million years, so I do appreciate all of that, obviously.

I can’t pinpoint when things changed exactly, but I think it must have been as the fandom started getting bigger and the TikTok effect became more pronounced, that the gaps between creatives and non-creatives and between the popular creatives and the smaller creatives grew wider. Competitiveness between creators in general seemed to get worse and a lot of smaller and diverse creatives weren’t treated well as fandoms within fandoms developed around the most popular people. Then it just became a giant popularity contest rife with high school politics rather than it being about the characters and source material, or making friends.

I appreciate I’ve compared a small fandom and a rapidly expanding fandom here, and I'm sure there are still some corners of Tumblr left that are more like my 2015 experience, but my 2020 onwards experience isn’t an isolated incident from everything I’ve read on here and Reddit. Something has shifted even in the last couple of years, let alone beyond that.

I also think perhaps the immediacy and short lifespan of fandoms makes it harder to interact in general, because streaming services often drop an entire season in one day. You know your mutual will be watching it because they’ve been hyped about it on their blog, but you don’t know which episode they might be up to. So, you don’t want to be sending messages/asks potentially spoiling things they might not have got round to yet. Or they’ve watched it all in 24 hours and it takes you several weeks to get round to episode 1, by which point half your dash has already moved on to the next must-watch piece of media. That’s how small the window of opportunity is sometimes now; it’s insane.

3. How do you feel about anonymous ask? I hate being perceived, so here we are.

As long as people aren’t being rude/abusive, I don’t have a problem with anons. I know what you mean about being perceived, so I wouldn't want to remove the anon option for that reason. I've had some lovely fic related anons in the past too, so as long as it's all respectful, I'm cool with it.

But I know anon hate is a problem on here, and I think it partially ties into the whole high school politics thing again. A lot of people don’t know how to deal with their own insecurities and jealousies without taking it out on someone else. The stats obsession that has infiltrated fandom from social media seems to bring the worst out in people, especially re: comparison and not feeling good enough. It's no excuse, but I think that's probably where it comes from.

I’ve also noticed some creatives getting upset by entitled anons just coming into their inbox and saying ‘Part 2 of X fic please’ or being pushy about the next chapter if it’s been a while since the last one. So, I also think a lot of fandom etiquette has been lost in recent years, this being a prime example. People seem to forget they're talking to a human being and just see content, content, content.

And I don’t really know what the answer to any of this is tbh! I would like to think the writers’ and actors’ strikes might help paint a bigger picture of how social media and the way fandom has changed are all interlinked with the big studios’ practices. But who knows? I do see quite a few more posts pointing out these problems nowadays, so I guess that’s a step forward.

#Ask #Asks #Replies

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isagrimorie · 2 years

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for the fanfic writer game: 1,2,3,9,18. Didn't realize you wrote fic! (You always have such quality fuffy posts, thank you.)

for this ask meme

Thank you for the kind words, I mostly just ramble and hope for the best in those posts!

What is your most popular fic?

According to AO3's analytics, my most popular story is my Root/Shaw (Person of Interest) story: Definitely, Maybe

2. What fanfic do you wish you got more response on?

I already have plenty (for me) for Conversations with Dead People (Person of Interest) but I wish more people read it. I think it's my favorite Shaw story I've written.

But also: My Life fics Human Landscape and Gethsemane, maybe my Doctor Who Rose Tyler-centric divergent AU: New Ground

(Man, I used to write a lot and look at those titles, they were my favorite era of writing).

3. What’s a fic idea that you have but haven’t written yet?

A LOT. Like, A LOT.

There's the Buffy/Farscape crossover/fusion

The Kathy Goes to NOLA (The Originals/TVD)

The Super Squad Timey Wimey adventures

Hope/Lizzie (no Humanity Hope and No Longer sire bonded Lizzie story)

Hope goes back in time and meets Hayley during her chaotic and ruthless TVD days.

And a few more I haven't written here.

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

I think... I have to give it to 2 of my Life fanfic:

Human Landscape

Night fell quickly and Reese leaned against her car and watched the city come alive. LA spread out in all directions, twinkling. Somewhere out there another crime was being committed, another death, another tragedy. Reese shut her eyes but the twinkling of the city was imprinted behind her eyes. The car shifted and she opened her eyes to see Crews settle beside her. He held out his hand, offering her juice.

She looked at the plastic cup. There wasn't a juice bar around the area. Crews held it patiently before her, Reese took the juice off his hand, felt the moisture beneath her fingertips.

Reese breathed in the city, the night.

“I can work this.” With you, with all the other things.

Crews turned, he looked pale and as tired as she felt but when he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I think so too.” -- /end/--

Gethsemane

Whenever it happened, it happened with waiting and faith and stubbornness and it happened because of many things. But it happened this way: into the long hours, into the sun setting high until the beams of light reached Charlie's face. He had a lot of freckles. Ted had observed this before and re-examined this observation when he had nothing to do--

Ted stopped breathing. Beside him, Reese's chair squeaked. Did he just see...?

"Crews?" It was a whisper and the hope in her voice matched the choked-up thing in his chest.

Charlie's eyes fluttered open. Ted stared. Charlie blinked once, twice, soaking in the sun. Ted wanted to speak but he was all tangled up in wonder, surprise, and just disbelief at what he was seeing, of what was happening. Charlie turned his head--

"Crews?"

--and smiled.

End

I remember writing both and tbh all my Life stories without plots but with a sort of stream of a conscious gut feeling. And, also, I think because of the tone of Salman Rushdie's The Ground Beneath Her Feet. I'm not saying, I write like him, but more like his writing in that novel was such a formative influence for me.

I miss writing these stories, I'm trying to get back to that kind of flow state but alas.

18. Recommend someone else fic! (And tag them if they have a tumblr!)

I'm going to recommend a story that's on my heavy re-read rotation:

Body Langauge by @explosionshark

Summary: Buffy and Faith have always communicated best when they're not relying on words at all.

Rating: Explicit.

I adore this story. Full stop. Yes, it's all about Buffy and Faith having sex but learning about each other, and navigating the messiness of their relationship.

But also Buffy realizes, yes, she does like girls too. And she's not just Faith-centric.

Also, this story wins because here Buffy is terrible at pillow talk and for that whole thing alone, it's worth the price of admission. No, really Buffy is worse than Faith.

#answered #juanabaloo #asked and answered #ask meme #tv: life #btvs #fic rec #doctor who

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mangosimoothie · 2 years

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ik u said to ignore it but i cant ignore it because im a natural snoop and i fucking love reading tags. its where people show their colors and i think everyone has a rainbow inside them. which prompts me to say that u dont have to answer this. hell, u can ignore this.

anyway, maybe its coz im using tumblr wrong. i literally only come here to grab some *feels* (good and bad) at the popular reblogs and then occasionally join in the simblr "oooh" and "gaaah!!" eras that i feel like im missing out on what u call the Back in the Day tumblr era. tumblr was advertised to me as a blogging site so like lmfao.

maybe its also because of the power of the anon feature that i can actually make myself be able to enter ur ask box without feeling too shy or scared that im here to comment on ur post. is it because we're far too scared to interact beyond the comments or is it because drama (not sure if theres a better word for it, controversy maybe?) has scarred us and being able to comment on things without the anon feature kind of scares us all now?

regarding simblr drama posts that blow up, u could probably also contribute it to bandwagon, right? like obv, its not the only reason it blows up but bandwagon helps. its far too easy to join in the opinion that everyone agrees on and parrot it around. like idk if im making sense but isnt it kinda easier to "not have an opinion" but rb that other person's opinion/fact that the rest of the community has deemed correct or right as if its your own (ok maybe this sentence sounds bad and i could probably phrase it as "i have an opinion about it but this other person has worded it so perfectly that i will rb this instead". anyway i'll leave it in coz the previous one could be true to some people). not that its bad, im honestly glad most of us agree on smth, it just sometimes loses that sense of discussion u probably meant if we're all just parroting everything.

i mean, i've seen it happen. especially during certain major events here where my dash was full of the same post being reblogged by myself and a couple others with no additional ideas (even tags sometimes, like i said i love tags i think tags hold a lot of unspoken but spoken ideas if u get it).

i had a point here somewhere. anyway what i meant to say was, i think i have similar feelings with u regarding discussions (lmfao look at this long post). but im far too scared to get out of anon to actually have it with u or anyone else in simblr.

have a good day/night tho :"D

Hahah no thank you for snooping on my tags 😅 what I meant to say is, I notice that most engagement happens through likes instead of comments, which is just really frustrating because yeah, I am used to tumblr being more of a forum so likes feel very empty to me. Unless it’s “”drama”” then yeah like you said, people are more inclined to comment. Like my first post that blew up was literally just “not someone charging $3 for sims nipples” or st like that which was really funny but also a little sad bc I would’ve loved to engage like that on posts I actually cared about and that weren’t just me being cheeky lol. That said, I understand what you mean about feeling too shy. I asked about this earlier - why ask questions on anon if they’re not mean - and for most people yeah, it boiled down to being shy or not wanting to seem over eager. But I LOVE when people are eager about my nonsense, I LOVE when people ramble like this in tags or comments or my inbox about my story/sims. That is the sole thing that’s kept me active here tbh - the couple people who comment and send me asks instead of just throwing a like here and there. I’ve been told many times that engagement on simblr is a lot lower than it used to be which is a little discouraging. I’ll look at my friends with large blogs and even though their stories get 100s of likes there’s still only 2-5 comments! I’d be pulling my hair out!! Maybe it’s a pet peeve that’s kinda specific to me lol but it does bother me sometimes especially when I put a q like hey tell me what you thought about x or whatever the case may be. Like even going so far as to be like “instead of a like tell me about x :) “ and that still not working. I guess that’s just not the way people engage on tumblr anymore :/ 🤷🏾‍♀️

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earlgreymon · 3 years

Text

#digiweek2021: a story 12 hours away 🕵️‍♀️

if you follow me long enough, you know i changed my profile picture very often. yet as i built the digiweek page and realised that we both use characters outside adventure as profile picture (jenrya being from tamers and izumi from frontier), i tried to keep it that way so that our participants know that we are embracing all the digimon series and not just one.

___

hi, this is sky.

so apparently, i didn't pass out.

there's a lot of things i want to tell you about Digiweek; about what happened before it actually started, about what happened during the week itself. note that this will be more like a VERY LONG rambling and appreciation to some people that's been very helpful to me. and yes, despite the picture above, this will be from my own point of view, not sam's (@tangledupblue).

more stories, bloopers, things that caused quite a ruckus, and screenshots this way!

on your mark,

the idea of this event came up after i constantly nagged about wanting to have a general otp event. you know i'm a die-hard multishipper and not all of my ships have their own event because they're either crack or minor ships. considering i'm old too tired to involve in every single otp weeks, i thought it would be nice to have an event where i can show some love to my favourite pairs at once.

when i found out about an event called digiotpweek existed, i really wanted to participate. hell, i was willing to help to organise the event since i currently have more free time after graduating and returning to my home country. i tried to mention them a few times in my post, expressing my interest and hoping that i'd get a response, but i didn't.

i came to lynn (@dutchforstrangers) who happened to participate digiotpweek a few years ago and also wanted to join should there is a similar event as we wait for the taiora week to come. was thinking about creating a new similar event, but it felt like stealing because we didn't actually ask digiotpweek for permission to use their idea.

our discussion somehow ended up with: how about creating a similar digimon event, but a more general one without specifically referring to pairings so that everyone who loves digimon can participate?

i started to think about the idea more seriously. it'd be a perfect opportunity too especially odaiba memorial day was coming in a few months. one of the biggest drives for me was when someone reblogged my graphics with a tag saying they were quite shock (in a good way) to find a post about digimon in year 2021.

i was like, "hey, we're here! we're pretty much alive!!"

but honestly, i was in doubt at first. i'm a new player here; i just literally made this earlgreymon blog last year thanks to lockdown. although i had some experiences organising online events (such as secret santa challenge in a roleplay forum i participated), tumblr is a different league and tbh it's a pretty scary place haha! when i organised an online event, it was with and for the people i've known previously and speak the same language. i could imagine a tumblr-based event would be more diverse in terms of participants.

yet again, i've been here almost a year and the people in digimon fandom has been very supportive :") so i thought to give it a try, but first i have to measure the hype because what's the point of concepting a whole event but no one wants to participate??

i began with conducting an interest check here. again, thank you so much to all of you who had filled the form!! i couldn't give you the whole result, but here's the part i thought would be interesting to share:

we have 23 participants in total and there's one (1) person who did not follow adventure. i was like confused and amazed (in a good way) at the same time. it's also interesting to note that any other universe outside adventure didn't even get 50%.

during this survey, i took a mental note that digimon is not only about anime: it's also about video games and even comic books. so that's why when i received this one input, i knew i actually had a very strong stance. yet again, when they said they wanted to drop out of the event, i couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself HAHAHA. sorry guys, i'm bad at handling rejection, especially i have a tendency as a people pleaser. but i consistently told myself that i will never make everyone happy.

anyway. i knew i cannot make everyone happy, but i can learn. and since i only watched adventure, 02, tamers, and frontier (a bit of watching savers and once played rumble arena quite religiously), i have to reach out to someone so i could make prompts that were applicable to all universe. the only person i knew playing digimon games was simon (@v-dramon) so i asked him a few questions before actually writing down the prompts.

in terms of conducting a tumblr event, i decided to reach ayushi (@ashandpikachu) who was the person behind tri week 2020 and gen (@animegenork) who is the captain of the takari week. the questions were more technical because i was unfamiliar with tumblr ecosystem (e.g. should i make a sideblog? should it be a separate account?).

and finally, i knew i have to search for a comrade to have some opinion about stuff. i preferred to search for someone who lived in a different timezone because i realised i'm in a very odd timezone compare to other people in digimon fandom. i was about to ask lynn, but i was too shy and afraid i was going to meddle with her time (sorry lynn, i really hope you're not offended >///<).

so what i did was.... passively waiting for someone to come and volunteer. i was a total chicken, i know.

but someone did come. one fine day, sam messaged me saying that she'd be willing to help. i thought about her being in the american side of the world, and i said, "perfect. let's get to it."

___

get set,

the original google docs for digiweek! yay!

when sam joined in, i actually had set out the general concept of the event already. i had assigned some prompts to certain days, taking some ideas from the survey as consideration. i had also written down some narration to elaborate the prompts further to sam, in addition to serve a personal note to myself because i'm a very forgetful person.

these narrations eventually became the prompt walkthrough that we had posted before the event because we thought like it would help the participants to brainstorm :D

i was also taking a peek at some of the digimon events such as tri week and the otp weeks. i was more comfortable with general/one-word prompt model, but i was also interested in questions format (like digimon 30 days challenge and 02 appreciation challenge, credit to respective owners) because i felt like questions can be adopted more easily by someone who doesn't want to make fanart/fanfic. as you know, we ended up using both formats and i should say it's a pretty good call.

i was quite firm to keep this event as general as possible. that was why we regretfully had to strike some prompt ideas like "crest" and "odaiba" because these terms are very, very adventure-centric. however, i myself also proposed some weird prompts myself which made sam frowned in confusion lmao.

for example, on day 4, the original prompt was "evil" HAHAHA. this was because i wanted the antagonist to obtain more spotlight (a.k.a. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE DAY TO WORSHIP ETEMON-SAMA) for the sake of diversity. sam proposed to change it with "heaven/hell" or "day/night" so it would emphasise more on two contrasting things, but we finally settled on dark/light. also, originally, "home" should be on day 6 and "dream" should be on day 7 before we switched them.

we wrapped up things quite quickly. with the help of ayushi, we managed to adopt tri week's rules so we could focus on other things. i started to build the digiweek blog, we also discussed the timeline, and finally we launched the digiweek blog on june 20th! woohoo!!

while i queued some announcements, sam mostly handled the askbox. we also tried to actually work on our submissions, but not because we had the headstart advantage (trust us, we were also slacking off with our own submissions). we needed to make sure that it was doable to make seven contents in one month (although of course we did not expect all the participants to constantly submit something every single day) because if we weren't able to do it ourselves, it was possible other participants would also struggle.

we were very excited to receive some positive responses, and the amount of reblogs was amazing! of course we also saw those who said that they couldn’t make it due to some stuffs, and yes we’re sad. i’m trying my best as #SkyFromMarketing to persuade some people to still join, especially people that i enjoy their contents so much. i didn’t know if eri (@himetsundere) would be busy or not during digiweek, but look: i need at least one (1) mimato content on digiweek and i knew she wouldn’t disappoint 🤡 i also acknowledged that noct (@sorasfishing) was very busy with rl, but we managed to find some way for her so that she could still participate—and gurl, look at those fabulous makeups...

we also giddily discussed how to answer every time there's a question came to our askbox. however, it wasn't all rainbows because we did face some questions that made us feel uncomfortable.

one time, we received a question from anon asking why we prohibited incest. we had a VERY long discussion about this, but after some careful thought, we decided not to answer this because:

we stand firm with the rules. we both have siblings and we are uncomfortable with this. with incest, there was also a huge possibility of non-consensual age gap relationship content which is also a red flag.

it's not like we necessarily prohibited you to write/draw about incest; we just won't reblog it.

since it was asked anonymously, we weren't sure if the question was pure out of curiosity or just trolling us. we did not want to take the risk by starting controversy even before the event started. no offense to the anon who actually asked this question, but if you really wonder why we actually prohibited it, above is our reasons.

unfortunately, not long after we decided so, sam received another anonymous question on her personal blog; now asking whether age gap is allowed on digiweek. that was where we decided to turn off anonymous questions momentarily. at least if anyone wants to question our stance on this, the best way is to come forward without hiding behind anonymous.

i personally felt that this was appalling. look: there are two mods in digiweek, but when it comes to this event, we are one. we’re in the same boat. when my co-mod received a personal offence because of digiweek, you’re offending me too. i won’t take the whole credit for digiweek because sam and i worked equally hard for this.

to avoid some bias, i turned off the option to let everyone see who's the person behind a post or a reblog on digiweek although if your ‘keep reading’ turns into some spanish words that was obviously reblogged by sam. we also worked in a shift that we kept private (we hinted it once, but we never exactly tell you our shift, right? ;p) because again, i believe you didn’t have to know who’s reblogging your submission.

now that we finished with the event, i think we could share it, huh?

___

go,

i am a perfectionist. sam has her own ocd. that’s why we quickly agreed on one thing.

spreadsheet. we have to keep the track of the submissions with a spreadsheet. this might sounded extreme, but the spreadsheet was actually helpful to know which submission has been reblogged and by whom it was reblogged. the spreadsheet also let us know if we had reached 100th submission and so on.

yellow is sam, pink is me. takari forever.

in addition, the spreadsheet helps because we worked with a shift, so every time we started a shift, we could just take a look at spreadsheet and see how far our comrade had come. it is interesting to note that the time difference between jakarta (gmt+7) and mexico city (gmt-5) is 12 hours, so we actually always have the same time and the difference is only on am/pm. if it’s 10pm in jakarta, it’s 10am in mexico city. this is where we’re relieved i’m no longer live in australia because imagine the extreme time difference...

we always begin our shift at 7am our respective local time, which means i started my shift at 12am gmt and sam started her shift at 12pm gmt. it’s easy to mark the shift change because that’s when we both always post our own submission. so if you see me posting a submission on earlgreymon every 12am gmt, that was when sam ended her shift by putting my submission on digiweek’s queue and vice versa.

the funny thing is i’m an early bird, so i was always on my best period as i started my shift. however, sam is a night owl, so she always started her shift as a zombie. that’s how this meme show up lmao.

also, we always started to reblog contents for the new day at 7am gmt. we carefully chose this because as per our knowledge, the westernmost participant is in PST, so we tried to wait for our digipals in PST to actually enter the same day. the beginning of a new day will always be marked with digiweek reblogging my submission (except on day 1 and day 7) because i was always the first to submit my content lol. #leadingbyexample #lifeofGMT+

nevertheless, timing wasn’t a big issue. our biggest hell was tagging.

we understand that there’s a lot of naming variation in digimon. fusion and xros wars. jyou, jou, and joe. taiyama, taito, and yamachi. again, as perfectionists, we were trying our best to put some attention to detail, so we decided to put up a system for our tagging:

we’ll put tags in order of #digimon, #digiweek2021, #day [...], #universe, #characters, #relationship, #[@/submitter], #typeofcontent

and yes, all lowercase

we’ll use the japanese name on digimon fandom wikia, but for human characters, we will also look up fanfiction.net

we won’t use pair names and replace them with ao3′s relationship tagging

i won’t even bother to explain how we would decide if a post should be tagged as a certain universe and relationship because until this very day, i’m still hella confused...

but anyway, the event went on. on our first day, we were too excited so we reblogged everything AT ONCE lmaoooo. realising the traffic was so dense, we tried to reblog stuffs every 20 minutes or so.

the event itself went pretty well. mods didn’t have many differences for the whole week. usually, our problems were how we should tag a reblog (again), whether a content violated our rules, and if a content should be given a trigger warning. for these reasons, some posts will be reblogged quite late because we had to wait for one another to wake up first. once, sanni (@seventeenlovesthree) posted a taishiro fanart that we thought is in a borderline due to age-gap romance. and yes, we are very sensitive to this topic due to the questions we received previously as i have told you above. i sincerely apologise for the inconvenience, sanni :(

the heaviest argument would be on day 4 when someone posted a political content. tell you the truth, i was veryyyy uncomfortable because i didn’t thought someone will put a political issue on an animanga/game-related event. but sam convinced me that it is a peaceful protest and it was more of a cultural stuff. i was quite adamant about my stance not reblogging this, but she managed to change my mind even with some precautions i wanted to be fulfilled lmao thanks for tolerating me.

on to the bright side, WE DIDN’T THINK THAT THE AMOUNT OF SUBMISSIONS WOULD SKYROCKET TO MORE THAN 300!! like i had predict that it wouldn’t be more than 100, but we broke that record on third day and that was crazy!! people, are you ok?????

not gonna lie, i am SUPER OVERWHELMED. sometimes i would go crazy and made hilarious mistake. as you know, i’m not that attached to tri, so characters like daigo and maki aren’t really familiar to me. when i had to tag maki, i almost really tagged her as kappa maki because i didn’t know her name.

the worst part was when i reblogged jill’s (@sunnquy-lavendrr) submission, which was a taishiro submission. i SWEAR TO GOD i thought i have tagged #koushiro/taichi in the post, but jill sent a message saying that i forgot to tag em. when i checked, apparently i was tagging them with #KOUSHIRO/IZUMI LMAOOOOOOO.

aaaandddd finally.... we didn’t expect that the range of the content was very diverse. we received not only fanfics and fanarts, but also makeups, cover song, poems, and especially your raw, beautiful stories of you and digimon. we’re so happy that you share the story with us :)

___

finish line,

digiweek 2021 is over. we will still accept late submissions, even though maybe we’re not going as responsive as the week itself. there’ll be some housekeeping to do but... yeah, this crazy week has basically ended.

i’m not sure whether we will have another digiweek for now. that really depends on the post-event survey. and even if we have another one, there’s no guarantee i can become the mod again. i have a history of going m.i.a. from tumblr last year and history might repeat itself. but hey, if i’m not the mod, sam is still here. and even if sam cannot become a mod again, we’re always welcome if you want to adopt the event and keep the digimon spirit going!! do reach us out or if we both really, really going m.i.a. from tumblr, go and try your luck by reaching out @/pyokoromochi on twitter or even email me at [email protected].

now, firstly, i want to apologise if i have made some mistakes during the event, whether it’s deliberate or not. this event is far from perfect, i know. i am sorry if i have ever offended you and i shall learn from the experience itself.

i want to thank every single participants that i cannot mention one by one. not only those who participate in the actual week, but for those who had filled the interest check and stay with us until the very end. thanks for all the inputs and your enthusiasm.

i want to thank lynn, because if i didn’t talk to her at the first place, we wouldn’t even have the event :) you’re rock, lynn. sorry for not be able to help with the taiora discord, but i hope it’s gonna be thriving and excited to see more taiora content woohoo.

lastly, thank you to sam. i understand if you want to choke me sometimes and probably scream “this will be easier if you speak spanish!” 🤣🤣🤣 thanks for volunteering to this tedious job, but i couldn’t ask for a better partner. we’ve talked a lot during these couple of months, even some talks outside digimon itself. thanks for always supporting me and having my back. te quiero mucho, mi amigo!

thanks if you’re reading until the very end. stay safe and merry like a butterfly wherever you are, my digipals <3

#munpost #digiweek2021

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meruz · 3 years

Text

Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha.

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].

<33333333333333333333333333

#ask #anonymous

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whumperooni · 3 years

Note

I'd love to be mutuals with you but now really sure how to approach you off-anon.

I've been holding off on answering this one because I'm not quite sure how to respond without coming off as rude or bitchy or grouchy or stuck up or just straight up ridiculous

So pretty please take this as a general answer for everyone wanting to be moots and not just you, okay? I promise it's nothing personal (specially since you're a nonny and idk who you are anyways)

tldr; I'm a bad moot and if you wanna be a moot it has to happen naturally

But

I'm a terrible mutual, tbh. My online presence is flaky at best and I rarely look at my dash. I'm happy to chat with my moots if they reach out and I'm happy to interact with them...but I don't really approach them and I go through long periods of time where I miss their content because a) I'm too busy to be on tumblr, b) my fixations have shifted and I don't wanna interact with stuff that's not centered on them, c) I'm feeling particularly tired and/or angry and I'm off tumblr because I know I'm going to lose my temper and lash out at someone.

I try to be nice to people and I try to keep an open mind and I really try to let people do their own thing even if it bothers me. But the thing is?

I'm not a super nice person. I have a minimal tolerance for bullshit and I have a problem with general fandom fuckery. (Like across all fandoms- not just here)

I get angry at fandom and I get angry at my dash and I get angry at myself and, honestly, my presence in fandom is more like a stray cat that wanders in when they're bored or hungry and leaves when I grow bored or irritated by whatever drama is going on that day. I'm selfish and standoffish and, honestly, jealous of a lot of things and people too.

They're not awesome qualities to have in a moot. They're not awesome qualities to have as a person. I try my best to maintain a more positive vibe but, really, it's not always strictly genuine.

And the thing is? It gets tiring trying to pretend that I'm not rolling my eyes at every post on my dash. I'm too old and tired to pretend to like people that get on my nerves. I don't follow those people. I try not to interact with them. I blacklist their tags and I'll block them if they really get under my skin.

I monitor my circle and I do it in a way that's strictly selfish. I refuse to follow someone who sends me into a rant every other day and I'll absolutely dump a mutual if seeing their posts starts to get under my skin. I've done that before and, honestly, it hurt to do that because I did enjoy their content a lot and I thought that we could actually be good friends....I just didn't enjoy them or entertain those daydreams anymore once they decided to dump me like a hot potato.

I've been on all the sides of being a moot- bestie moots, enemies to friends to moots and back to enemies, casual headcanon exchanging moots, the moot that's been dropped because the other found more popular friends + more clout, and the moot that's dropped the other because they started shit talking about things that are Extremely Personal to me and I wasn't about to deal with that.

It sucks being a moot with someone only to find out they've dumped you. And, honestly? That's a veryyyyyyyyy likely possibility when it comes to being moots with me? Which I hate because people don't deserve that and hurt feelings suck and I don't want to upset anyone if I don't have to. But the thing is? I have to monitor my experience on tumblr or I will spiral and become miserable and nuke my chances of being welcome in fandom during an inevitable, public meltdown.

And that means....well that means that things just have to happen naturally?

(God, I'm so sorry I'm rambling but I'm trying so hard to explain myself)

Like. If you come to me and you're like "I wanna be mutuals with you. I wanna be friends" then I'm going to recoil- especially if we've never interacted before. For one, something like that is supremely uncomfortable to me. How can I say no without coming off as a bitch? It feels like a trap- even if it isn't, even if it's purely just enthusiastic and sincere- and I'm a prickly, hermetic person by nature who literally talks to one person irl on a daily basis...who also happens to live with me and is my boyfriend.

I don't seek out friends. I don't seek out relationships. I don't try to make something happen when it comes to people? It just...idk man I have to let it happen naturally or eventually it's gonna blow up in my face because I will feel restless and trapped and resentful. (Even if you literally do nothing wrong. Please understand that I'm a kinda shitty person, I work two jobs and I'm always stressed, and I'm bipolar and unmedicated. Please understand that I try and I'm not using these as excuses but just stating facts- my mental and emotional state are often shit and I lash out at people once my stress becomes too much...which is often these days. That this has happened to me before and I know myself and I'm trying to be truthful and not set up any rosy expectations just to disappoint anyone)

Like...if you still wanna be a moot, all I can say is to just...interact with me? Maybe I'll check out your blog and vibe with what I see????

But there are layers and layers of why I'm Not a good moot and there are layers and layers of reasons I'm not going to follow just anybody just because I'm asked.

I...I don't know. I don't know how to end this and I don't know if this makes any sense at all or if it's too much explanation or not but...

Just...don't have any expectations when it comes to me. I'm making no promises to anyone and I'm trying to be transparent.

I won't be mutuals with someone just because they want me to be. It's gotta happen naturally or it won't happen at all.

And I am sincerely sorry if it causes hurt feelings or if it comes off as rude or mean or bitchy or something. Rejection fucking sucks, you know?

But I have to look out for my mental and emotional health and, unfortunately, that means setting boundaries and limits and monitoring my experience very carefully.

So...yeah.

I'm sorry. I know this is probably super unsatisfying and I'm deeply apologetic over it.

But...yeah. That's that and I'm going to shut up now.

(Sorry)

#uh sorry about this answer #and sorry if it doesn't make sense #please don't hate me #i'm really just trying to be honest

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retvenkos · 3 years

Note

not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is.

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments!

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it.

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

#asks #mutuals #clara — 🌙#long post #shipped #let me just reread this ship every day for the next millenia thanks

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