Summary: Castiel is an FBI agent. Dean Winchester kidnaps him. 

Author: @apokteino-official

Man i need some long destiel fic recs because let me tell you, i just finished a 430k word destiel-fbi-messy fucking kidnapping story that utterly gutted me and i CANNOT stop thinking about it, send help or other painfully long fics that i can develop brain rot over please.

Hi hello, I was wondering what is your favorite spn fanfic?

That is a HARD QUESTION to answer. I have so many! But I think it's a four-way tie between:

Redemption Road - The first really massive fic I ever read, it's a canon divergent fic that jumps off at the end of season 6 and takes the story in a whole other direction. It's a mystery and a horror story and a love story, all rolled into one, and it's phenomenal. Scenes and quotes from this story still live rent-free in my brain TO THIS DAY, despite me originally reading it nearly a decade ago now.

With Understanding - A crossover AU in which Castiel is an FBI agent working in the BAU of CBS show Criminal Minds, Dean is one of the FBI's most wanted, they're soulmates, and Dean...is pretty desperate and messed up. You may have heard this one referred to as the "insane Destiel kidnapping fic." I cannot say mind the tags enough on this one if you seek it out, it's so good but SO dark.

Down to Agincourt - A canon divergent AU that jumps off from the season 5 episode "The End" and follows Dean, Cas, and the other residents of Camp Chitaqua as they mark time at the end of the world. It's sweet and angsty and fun and deeply mysterious. It's a lot of people taking care of each other in the softest ways despite living in a hard world. It's over a million words and counting. It practically has its own fandom at this point, and with good reason.

The Fourth Wall - Somewhat background Destiel with foreground Sam/Lucifer. But listen! Hear me out. I don't ship it but this fic will MAKE you ship it. I swear to you. Sam tries to convince Lucifer to forego the apocalypse and it kind of works? Just click and start reading, you will not regret it I promise.

with understanding dean and cas

with understanding cas/dean dynamic

Castiel sending a letter to an agony aunt in that kidnapping criminal minds fanfic

with understanding is fucked up for a multitude of reasons, but what gets me every time is that the characterizations are spot on. like, dean being a caretaker, being unintentionally manipulative, justifying his fuck ups to himself to try and rationalize them all all literally did happen in the show. cas literally did see the very worst of dean in canon, and still refused to accept that that was all he was and chose to love him anyway. different circumstances, obviously, but like! it happened! it so easily could have ended up that way!

anyway this fic is deeply, deeply fucked up but still manages to be very compelling and well written. everytime i read it i feel vaguely nauseous and yet i continue to do it repeatedly anyway

that one with understanding amv has broken me again and now i'm once again In the Deep. meaning i'm writing paragraphs of text in the dms of my dearest friend <3

because just...this fic...yeah

Just re-read most of With Understanding again. Man that fic is going to live in its own little corner of my brain forever. It's absolutely, deeply disturbing in so many ways but it's one of the most compelling things I've ever read.

If you've never read it, it's ostensibly a destiel fic but it depicts Dean incredibly uncharitably. I know different readers felt very differently about it, but personally I never once rooted for Dean or a destiel "happy ending" while reading WU.

So the ship isn't part of the appeal at all (even though I think the writer may have wanted people to root for it).

For me the appeal is the depiction of trauma, the unreliable narrator, the outside perspective on the events of Supernatural, the extensive exploration of trauma recovery and the constant discussion of free will.

Like, the scenarios depicted in With Understanding are insane and exaggerated but the central conflict about free will and freedom is so applicable to mundane life. I don't think I ever realized that until this re-read.

Actually can't believe the author deleted it because it's really something to be proud of.

which one do you like better: wu or dta? like which gives you more brain worms? which one makes you wanna stab yourself in the eye more?

MAKING ME CHOSE BETWEEN THESE TWO SHOULD BE ILLEGAL OH MY GOD. its the perfect two aspects of homoeroticism in stories that make me the most insane though like

on one hand you have unhealthy obsessive possessive codependence in which two characters are slowly dragging each other down and are pretty much completely alone together because they’re the two only ones that can truly understand each other which makes it so that they end up in an isolated, unhealthy codependent toxic form of love. but then it turns around to make it about forgiveness and learning and growing.

and on the other hand we have the religious imagery of a fallen angel reshaping his faith around a man who is the physical incarnation of love and humanity and we have the ideas of queer makeshift found families and fighting together to protect each other and save the world when it seems impossible and learning to live instead of just surviving and finding the beauty and happiness in the darkest of times and its all about hope and humanity and love and devotion and fighting for your found family and about how you should never give up and how there’s always good and people willing to fight for it.

okay. okay. if i HAD to pick. the one that makes me want to stab myself in the eye more would be wu because it simply makes me feel like im slowly losing my mind as i read it. but my favorite, and the one that gives me the most brainworms, is probably dta. they’re just such completely different vibes though its hard to pick but as i am, ultimately, an optimist im going to have to go with dta. its one of those books that i know i would read if i felt hopeless and it would 100% restore my faith in humanity its just SO good. and the characterization and worldbuilding and relationships and its just all so good

I think the thing about WU that makes it SO compelling (aside from the insane plot) is that it starts Dean and Cas off by taking their core character traits to their absolute extreme and then slowly breaks them both down in direct relation to one another.

Cas starts as a lawful neutral pragmatist who intellectualizes his emotions to the point of shutting them off entirely, and who is dedicated to a rigid and imperfect system that he never questions.

Dean starts as a chaotic evil control freak with a sucking chest wound of need, who is so broken by his life that he has become destructive to himself and everyone around him, especially those he loves.

And slowly but surely, their proximity to each other breaks them and heals them and breaks and heals them again, until they start breaking and healing themselves for each other. Until neither is truly recognizable as the person they were or has the same mindset they held before--about themselves, the world, each other, anything.

And the peace they find together in that middle ground is never allowed to just be what it is. It is constantly questioned, denied, and disparaged by the people who knew them both at the start, to the point that you the reader are forced to question it, too...but never to the point of breaking it entirely (at least, if you allow yourself to go on the journey with Castiel).

(Partly because, I think, the story is ultimately Castiel's. Dean is important, crucial even, but it's Castiel's journey we're on. So though we gets tons of outsider POV on Dean and Cas and their relationship, none of those people really know Dean. They're all acting out of love for Castiel, and most of them with limited perspective on what Castiel's actually gone through. Even Morgan and Balthazar, who know the most, don't know it all. And no one looking in at them whose thoughts we get to see knew Dean from before the story began, or ever really knew him during it either. Which is why I will always mourn that Apokteino never finished their Sam-perspective follow-up story.)

im rereading with understanding. jesus christ

i'm 18% into that with understanding fic and oooh boy dean just got arrested and they found the camera, im feeling so many bad emotions right now

So, a few days ago I started on With Understanding and... just the sheer abount of brainworms this amazing yet oh so fucked up piece of fanfic gives me is beyond belief...

I mean Dean kidnapped an FBI agent, keeps him prisoner in the bunker for a year (at least that is up to how far I’ve gotten till now), shuts him off from everything in his life and yet... I also kinda sympathize with him. I thought the profiling they did of him was so far off when it actually wasn’t if you look at it from a sane point of view (which I have left behind as of like chapter 3...)

And I know... I KNOW.. that it’s wrong but I almost cheer at the Destiel parts, because... this thing kinda fucks with your head and... I am only starting on chapter 11 and there are 16 more after that and I have not the slightest idea how this is gonna end, I don’t see how there is any way of resolving this giant mess right there and it’s honestly driving me up the walls..

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way opened to it?