Matters of the Heart Ep. 8
Pairing: Best friend! Yeonjun x gn. reader
Genre: Fluff; Angst; Maybe eventual smut
Content Warnings: University au!; lots pining; our main leads being stupid; I haven't planned smut for this one, but it might as well turn suggestive; this chapter is another angst filled load of drama but I promise it'll get better (real better) in the next one- please don't hate me!
Word Count: 2k words
Mellow speaks: Ookkkayyyyy, so this is long overdue and I'm super sorry for that. I've just been really busy the past week and it took a toll on my health too but I'm better now! Let's get on to it!
Tagging: @sweethyuka @yedamology @enhacolor @axartia @hyunsuksmygod @yogurteume @duolingofanaccount @zurimochi @blahbluhblahbluh @yeonyeonyeonjun @yjs6x @silent--cry @delacyrose224 @rlajjunie @hotboyyeonjun @blue-last-page-514 @bluxjun @yutacchin @zen003xx @yawnzznlvr @magicalstudentwhispers @foryawnzzn @nyfwyeonjun @bluejin0812 @najaemin138 @laylasbunbunny @moaberryjjunie @najaemin138 @laylasbunbunny @moaberryjjunie @robin-obsessed @calssunflower @swankynebula
(Taglist is open!! Send in an ask/dm to be added, or simply comment under this post!)
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You can feel someone's gaze on you, burning holes into the back of your head as you continue your animated telephonic conversation. Who are you talking to? Well, that's a story for after you see who it is that's been staring you for two minutes straight. That's the thought you hold as while turning around towards the entrance of the cafeteria, almost certain it's going to be one of your friends, hoping despite yourself that it's Yeonjun.
But when your eyes land on the doorframe, all you see is a group of....second years? You can't say for sure, but you know pretty well that it couldn't possibly have been any of them. The presence that you were feeling is all but gone, and you can't help but feel confused about who it was who left without a word. Furrowed your brows, you try to find an answer to the question for a little longer, only to have the voice that filters through your phone pull you out of your thoughts. "Y/N? You there bub?," the voice calls out, making you roll your eyes even though not a soul is there to see it."
In hindsight, maybe someone should actually have been there to see just that, and also to hear what you say next.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? Only Yeonjun can call me bub, no one else," are you words, making the person on the other end raise his hands up even if you can't see him. "I'm sorry, love," he laughs, proceeding to tell you how much he misses you and how he wishes you could come back soon.
"I really miss you guys too, and I promise I'll be there one day soon, with my whole gang this time," you tell him, smiling a little as he says he might as well come to Seoul himself. "Need to see that Yeonjun of yours with my own eyes, after all. I wanna know what it is he has that I don't." That makes you let out a laugh, the sound a little happy and a little wistful while you tell him that your best friend has a girlfriend.
When it's time to hang up, your chest feels lighter and your head feels clearer, the thoughts and worries that you had been carrying around with you for weeks finally having found an outlet. You were trying to be okay, but it was hard not being able to tell anyone how you really were feeling, for fear of making things uncomfortable for your friends.
"Thanks for calling today, Leo. You know talking to you never fails to make me feel better," you say before ending the call, a happy spring in your step as you make your way out the cafeteria. It's then that you notice that Yeonjun is nowhere to be found, even though he had promised he'd be there as soon as he got done talking to Yena, in order to discuss the theme for the radio's upcoming week.
"Weird," is the only thing you can think to yourself, a confused expression on your face as you embark on your quest to find him again, something you seem to have been doing a lot recently. You call Soobin up, but Yeonjun isn't with him. "I'm with Taehyun right now, we were just buying some pet food. I haven't seen him since the ceremony," he says, hanging up after suggesting that you try calling the other two.
And you're just about to do that, when your eyes land on a familiar mop of hair not ten feet away. There you see Kai, a heavy book tucked under one arm while the other is casually thrown around a shorter mop-haired guy, the sight making you let out a fond chuckle. As your feet carry you over to them, you soon register the fact that the one you're looking for is not with them either.
The realization is somehow written all over your face, making Beomgyu let out a sigh as he rolls his eyes. "He's not with us. Maybe you should try asking his girlfriend," he says, his hand now resting on your head as he pats it gently, a sympathetic smile on his face. "Yeah Y/N," Kai pipes in, shifting the book from one hand to the other, '"Better ask Yena than us."
The looks they give you have you going into defensive mode once more, a forced laugh escaping you as you get ready to prove a point. "You're staring at me funny," you retort, shutting down any arguments they might have up their sleeves when you turn your back to them, your fingers dialing Yena's number before you can stop yourself. But she doesn't answer, a behavior that definitely strikes you as odd coming from her.
"Guess I'm on my own, huh?," you muse to yourself, beginning to walk away from the square and down the corridors in search of Yeonjun. The classrooms are turn you up nothing but dust, your annoyance growing with every call of yours that goes to voice-mail. "Doesn't take that long to answer and tell me you're busy," you mutter under your breath, the sound of your sneakers falling against the tiles as you jog down the halls, empty-handed till you reach that one door.
The door to the dance practice room, the place that's the closest to Yeonjun's heart after your beloved rooftop, and the place you still dread visiting because you're scared of seeing something you aren't all that keen on seeing. Even though it's never happened in the weeks that you've been back, you can't help being a little wary of finding Yena there with your best friend, not wanting to encroach on their time alone and making things unnecessarily uncomfortable.
Yet right now, as the loud bass of the music bleeding through the speakers makes its way to your ears, coupled with the loud banging of footsteps, you find yourself approaching the door slowly, pushing it open because you already know someone's in there. And what you see inside is something that fills you up with even more dread.
No, it's not Yena with her arms wrapped around Yeonjun's shoulders, kissing him like there's no tomorrow. Instead, it's Yeonjun, alone in the room, his body moving to the rhythm as if he's mad at something, the anger clear on his face. The grunts and groans that escape him as he goes about doing his thing tell you he's not in a good mood right now, and it becomes even more evident when he doesn't notice you standing by the door.
You're transfixed by his moves, his emotions laying bare for you to see with every step he takes. He's one with the music, the loud beats and the thumping of his feet gelling into one the longer you watch. Mesmerized by his performance, you don't even realize when the song comes to an end, Yeonjun's heavy breaths becoming the only thing to be heard as his feet stop moving, his body almost collapsing to the floor before his eyes land on you.
"What're you doing here?," his voice draws you out of your trance, more icy than it's ever been. It has an edge to it that catches you off-guard, causing you to blink your eyes, perplexed at his sudden hostility. "I came here to see you," you respond after a couple of beats have passed, confused to say the least. "You never showed up at the-"
"Didn't show up?," he asks, sounding incredulous of your words, his gaze accusatory as he turns to look at you fully. "Didn't show up? Try, 'I was a bit too busy to notice when you did show up,'" he all but spits, venom lacing his voice. "What're you on about?," you catch yourself asking in return, becoming defensive for the second time that evening, "I never saw you enter the cafeteria, but if you saw me, you could have approached me instead."
You know you're being reasonable, but as Yeonjun crosses his arms over his chest, dry laughter slipping past his lips, you feel more vulnerable than anything else. "Well, I couldn't exactly approach you when you were so busy being all sappy on the phone now, could I?" "Wait a second," you think to yourself, your eyes trained on the man in front of you as you feel things click inside your head.
"On the phone? I don't know what you heard Jjun, but I think you're getting the wrong picture," is what you say, taken aback by the way he's taking this, "I was just talking to Leo, my friend from Australia." The moment those words escape your lips, you see Yeonjun widen his eyes, the sight making you feel he's finally catching on to what you're saying. But of course, things don't go that easy for you, his anger only seeming to rise as he asks, "Leo? That idiot who asked you out back during your first month there? The one who totally had the hots for you?"
And that's when you know he's off on a tangent, all sorts of stupid stuff spewing out before he even thinks to stop. "So he's the one you're messing with now? Seriously? And you didn't even think to tell me? I mean, I deserve to know if you're being all 'I love you sweetie' with someone, don't I?" That's the last thing you hear before losing it, your own patience wearing thin as as you launch into a rant.
"Deserve to know? I really don't understand how you got yourself under that illusion, Choi Yeonjun. You don't deserve to know shit, not after you kept the fact that you have a girlfriend from me. You didn't think I was important enough to know, but did you ever see me getting angry at you over that without reason? No, because I'm not petty like that.
And despite that, you still have the audacity to call me out for not telling you if I'm messing with someone? Didn't it occur to you even once to actually try and talk to me about it, instead of lashing out from the get-go? If you remember the fact that that 'idiot' was the one who asked me out during my first month there, then shouldn't you also be aware of the fact that you had been the first person I had told about it. But no, it seems like it very conveniently slipped your mind, huh?"
Now he's the one at a loss for words, blinking like a deer caught in headlights. "T-that's besides the point," he tries to reason, his being overcome with guilt as he finds his accusations getting washed away. But you're not having his drama now, the feelings you've been holding back on coming to the fore at last. "You didn't feel bad even once keeping me in the dark, but you suddenly take it to heart if I don't tell you about a friend?"
"Well you seemed much more than friends with him to me, the way you were smiling and being all giggly on the phone." "Yeah right. A phone call was all it took for you to determine my relation to Leo, isn't it? You're so damn perceptive, I must say. Maybe that's why you thought not telling me would save me the pain, huh?" You're on a roll now, angry words bursting like fireworks as you feel your eyes grow watery. "Well just so you know, you not telling me hurt me more than anything else ever has."
"And so you decided to get back at me for that, didn't you?," he claps back, not a hint of remorse evident in his voice even though he can feel it inside. "You decided to go against my back and get yourself a boyfriend, right when I-" He stops short at that, the next lying dying at the tip of his tongue as the waterworks finally begin for you.
"You know what?," you seethe, eyes bloodshot and hands shaking as you manage to get one last thing out. "Yeah. Yeah I did get myself a boyfriend behind your back. Because you don't fucking deserve to know."
And with that, you're out the door.
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greetings sae ~
decided to stop by to send in a sappy ask :)
happy new year saylor 🤍 i feel like if i bring up your fic now i am literally going forget sending my regards to you so i'll simply get over that real quick by saying i wish you the very best with 2024! i have seen ( cough read through every single one cough ) of the fics you published on your blog and i am on my fucking knees anyways
now of course, i want to thank you for the kind words you sent to me a month ago along with your request <3 when i tell you i genuinely teared up when i saw your ask only for the happy tears to disappear so quickly when i saw your request because the idea just resonated with me so deeply that i had to write as an expression of gratitude and for fun as well! and the fault falls on me for taking so long with it because i had a little bit of an issue ( not being as satisfied with the first two times i wrote it ) hence i took so long with it ;; i am deeply sorry, but worry not for the third of january shall be the day i spoil you /real
now my apologies aside, happy new year once again bub! 🤍 i wish you the very best with everything you'll be facing during the year and remember to take care, treat yourself to many nice things to your heart's content and of course be safe ~
— signed, ayame.
awwww listen when i tell you this just made my whole day!! i seriously feel so honored that you enjoy my fics so much, i honestly wrote them all on a whim whenever i get bursts of inspiration so im really pleased to hear that people actually enjoy them :))
2023 was a wild ride of emotions hence it being my first year of highschool and a whole bunch of shit went down, but i have a really good feeling about this next year, im already in a much better place than i was a year ago lmfao. Anyways, I hope 2024 for you (and anyone else who reads this) is filled with nothing but happiness and laughter and growth and whatever else you may wish for. And Ayame as much as I am beyond excited for your works to come out (not just the request but also the Kabukimono fic!!!), I cannot blame you one single bit, not when I have quite the reputation for procrastinating and taking forever on things. (Not that I’m saying you’re procrastinating, I know you’ve been working very hard). I’m really sorry to hear about your health problems and such, I can’t imagine how hard that is. Like I said before, I have a good feeling about this upcoming year and I hope it treats you well. Thank you so much for being a friend Ayame, and happy new year to all!!
(p.s please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you wanna chat! I love making friends)
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omg it feel like it’s been YEARS since i was last here 😭 i’m on my last year of uni and no one told me i wouldn’t even have time to scratch my head wtf why are there so many assignments and projects ?:):£
i missed interacting with you and your fics omg finally got a little break and finished 4 of my assignments think i deserved a break
SO I GOT TO READ THE NEW SATOSUGU FIC!!!:)&/!;>|^€]!~
i’ve literally been having the worst cramps recently too and omg that was such a comfort fic :(( the way they were so worried and comforting mc ESHSHDBB
megumi was adorable too like wtf come here RN lemme give your forehead a lil smooch a little KITH das my baby wtf
the way they were so worried when she fainted <33 i fainted once cause of my anemia in front of my dad and he thought i was pretending so he kept telling me to get up while watching tv and i was just on the floor 😭
BUT ANYWAYS i’ve missed your writing so much omg so glad i got to read a bit on my break it’s kind of like a motivation for me !!
so good and so detailed idk how you manage to do it your creativity is out of this world give your brain a lil kith from me <33
anyways stay healthy drink lots of water and take your time with your writing because the end results are always worth it!!
- 📚
📚anon my beloved!! it's been too long <33 I hope your last year of uni is going well! I def know how stressful that final year can be :')) if you're having finals soon I wish you luck <33 take some breaks and drink some water while you study!
I missed reading your asks sm too :'D they're always SO much fun to go through <3
I also am having cramps as I write this (haven't even started shark week yet >:( ) so I def understand the feeling bubs :') I literally cannot help but write satosugu as the softest squishes even tho they def show that SO little in canon xD
and gumi!!! he's my precious son I swear like let that child be happy fr he absolutely deserves a lil kiss on the forehead
NO omg that's so sad :'( passing out is definitely very scary so I'm sorry that happened lovely </3 I hope this fic could be a little bit of comfort for that feeling at least :') I definitely haven't met very many ppl who take my anxiety over health stuff like that seriously so it was probably a bit of a vent fic xD
hehe I missed writing too!! I'm hoping to get back into over my break soon since I really missed interacting with you guys and writing on this blog :D thank you as well omg kith kith <33
I hope you're staying healthy as well my dear!! drink some water and get lots of rest when you can <33 thank you again :}}
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