#whyyyy am i such a push over i should have just said no to this whole thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

salemwritesxx · 3 years

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↳ bottom oikawa x top reader

request: uhhh top male reader with oikawa in blue lingerie riding his thigh while praising reader 👉👈 (idk if the praise is ok to ask so pls dont if you dont want to!)

w.count: 2k

content warning: smut, porn without plot, thigh riding, male lingerie

“I’ll open my eyes now, okay?”

“Y/n-chan! Don’t you dare.”, Toru squeaked indignantly as he hastily pulled over your t-shirt, the soft fabric loosely falling over his toned body to hide what he had prepared underneath.

When you, however, simply chuckled, he knew you just wanted to tease him, hence pouting, Oikawa then walked over to the bed you were sitting on.

“You are so mean, Y/n-chan. Always teasing me.”

“Hmmm I can’t help it, you are too cute.”, once more, you giggled, which earned you a playful smack against your chest and, to your surprise, a few moments later your boyfriend’s soft lips on yours, making you hum, though only for seconds, before he pulled back again.

“You are so mean, even though I am spoiling you so much…”, taking your hands, he guided them around his hips, your “Now I’m even more intrigued.” getting him all excited to finally show you as he bit his lip in anticipation. Wrapping his own arms around your neck, Oikawa then whispered a mere, “Then open your eyes, Y/n-chan.”

A moment later, your e/c eyes opened, his beautiful face right in front of your own, thus you couldn’t help but smirk, only to let your them wander and look him up and down.

“You’re wearing my jersey… I like that.”

“Oh, Y/n-chan, you are so naïve.”, he sighed and shook his head, before squeaking a bit when you pinched his hips.

“Then stop playing your little game already. Show me what’s underneath, huh?”, your eyebrow twitched and a grin played around your lips, thus finally pushing Toru to his last move as he sat down on your thigh, the little “Oh.” that escaped your lips making him smirk as well.

You could very well feel the lacy material on your thighs that barely shielded your boyfriend’s dick from being completely exposed.

“Hmhmh, ‘oh’, huh?”, Toru giggled and scooched in a little closer while your own grip around his hips tightened.

“May I see what’s underneath?”, you asked so nicely that he only chuckled and nodded with a merely breathed “Of course.”

Willingly raising his arms, he let you undress him, revealing the small, blue lacy underwear, however, as you pushed the fabric up higher, you could finally see everything that he had hidden, the blue, lace bra top accentuating his well-trained and toned body very nicely – and so, your t-shirt fell to the ground.

“Do you like it, Y/n-chan?”, Oikawa barely breathed as he leaned in once more, his lips brushing up against your own, while his body pushed against your hands willingly, encouraging you to keep exploring him.

“Hmm, I do.”, you purred, then softly kissed his lips, “I really am spoiled.”

Chuckling, Toru nodded and squeezed you a little tighter, a soft gasp escaping his lips as you traveled down to grab his ass and massage it through the lingerie, his purr only showing you how much he enjoyed himself right now.

As he started to lightly sway his hips, you grabbed him a little rougher and pushed him higher up on your thigh, his soft moan immediately spurring you on, thus leaning in and connecting your lips made him sigh into the kiss, before your tongues collided and started to dance.

“Nghgh hmm”, moaning into your mouth, his movements increased a bit as he started properly grinding his soft cock against your thigh, your hands back to exploring his body, one squeezing and massaging his own muscular thigh while the other traveled up and to his lingerie bra top, letting your fingers brush against his pecs and nipples through the fabric to make him lightly twitch.

His cute buds reacting quite quickly as they pushed against the lace material so lewdly once they were all hard and sensitive.

“Y/n-chan- nghhh!”, Toru only whined with his cute high-pitched voice, before breaking the kiss and sitting back up, basically towering over you now that he was sitting on your thigh. “I love you, Y/n-chan.”, his doe eyes were shimmering and his face was so cute and red – ugh, he was just way too pretty.

“I love you too, Baby. You are seriously so cute.”, pulling him closer once more, your lips met his neck, making him squirm lightly because he was so sensitive there, before he tilted his head a bit and moaned your name quietly, his thighs already shaking lightly from his movements.

“Hmm, you really like riding my thigh, hm? You’re already all wet…”, your chuckling sent a shiver down his spine while he could barely whine approvingly, his hips stuttering against you, having a visible bulge in his lingerie already, the small lacy thing barely able to cover him anymore.

“Because, you are so handsome, Y/n-chan… I can’t help it…”, Oikawa’s arms around your neck tightened a bit when you bit into his own softly, leaving a small mark that would fade until tomorrow, since he didn’t like it when you left love bites in obvious places (he certainly grew out of that in the past years).

“Aaagh Y/n-“, blushing lightly when you pulled down his lingerie, his cock was already hard and leaking as it bounced back against his stomach, making him gulp, before pouting a bit, whispering a “Look what you did to me… I wasn’t that lewd before…”, which only earned him your hearty laugh.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like that?”, you grinned, making him pout just a little harder as his hips stopped in their movement for a moment.

Staring at you for a few seconds, he eventually gave in as he sighed and leaned his forehead against your own before he shyly mumbled an “I do…”, only to try and conceal his feelings by smacking his lips on yours.

Chuckling just a bit, you didn’t say anything anymore and simply grabbed his neck and pulled him closer for a passionate kiss, while your leg slightly bopped up and down, telling him silently that he should continue and that, he did.

Back to grinding on your thigh, his knee was also pressed against your crotch, the bulge in it already quite visible as well, thus when he started moving again, your own soft groan was everything he needed to spur him on as his hips grinded a bit harder against your thigh.

“Hmm Y/n-chan… Ahn…”, moaning into your mouth, Toru was a bit embarrassed with how turned on he was just by riding your thigh so shamelessly, his precum dripping onto your pants and leaving stains already.

“Haha, look at you. You’re dripping all over me. Your little lingerie is drenched already.”, you teasingly chuckled before reaching out, playfully sliding one finger along his shaft, making your boyfriend shiver and moan as his hips jerked against the touch immediately.

“Y-Y/n-chan!”, whimpering softly, the way you teased him was almost too much.

“Hmm, I didn’t even touch you much and you are already so close. How cute.”, your words excited him and yet, he also pouted a little when he buried his face in the nook of your neck, whispering a mere “M-Meany” before being interrupted by his own moans yet again.

“Come on, Toru.”, you grabbed his ass and pushed him down harder onto your thigh, earning his high-pitched sob and whine as his nails dug into your back, “Move for me, Baby. Show me how much you like this.”, which spurred him on even more, increasing his pace as he slammed his hips down onto your thigh, rubbing his cock against the fabric of your pants to get as much friction as he could.

“Y/n-chan, Y/n-cha- ahhnh I-I love you Y/n-chan. Nhhhghg ahh y-you’re amazing Y/n- I love you, I love you-“, he hiccupped and cried, Toru’s body trembling and legs shaking, his muscles visibly tightening and tensing while holding on to you desperately, only to muffle his loud cry against your shoulder when you trapped his throbbing cock underneath your hand, making it easy for him to thrust into the opening, thus having the perfect friction against your hand and the pants.

“Oh fuck, fuc- ahnn Y/n-chan!”, it was rare for Toru to curse, and yet, when he lost himself like that in pleasure, he didn’t care anymore, his hips grinding so vigorously against your thigh, his cock bouncing with every thrust, being that close to releasing.

“Ahhh Y/n- I’m- Ahh I-I can’t-!”, interrupting himself with his whiny moans, he suddenly hugged you so tightly, his muscular arms wrapped around you in a strong grip that it almost hurt a little with how hard he was squeezing you and yet you let it happen as you wrapped one arm around his back, the other keeping still to give him the most friction.

And with that, it only took a few more moments of Toru’s uncontrollable thrusts, his high-pitched voice breaking in the end. With one last jerk, he rammed his hips onto your thigh, before he released all over it, cock bouncing underneath your hand and spurts of cum staining your pants and t-shirt, your boyfriend moaning in bliss and squirming on top of you, face twisted due to absolute pleasure.

“Toru… Can’t breathe…”, you patted his back a little to get his attention at last, before his grip finally loosened around you, his panted “Sorry.” only making you chuckle a little and lean your forehead against his.

“Glad you liked it so much.”, the grin on your lips definitely made his already warm, red face a little warmer as he glanced to the side shyly, just to tackle you once more with a hug, both of you falling back onto the bed at last – giggling happily.

“Hmm it’s because Y/n-chan feels so good, it’s not my fault.”, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breathing slowly calming down again as he came down from his high.

“Hmhm, well… I’m glad to hear that.”, softly combing through his hair, there was a minute of comfortable silence that was merely interrupted by Oikawa’s soft gasps, before you said, “But you know! I really hate you, Toru!”

“Ehhhh, whyyyy?”, Oikawa immediately whined as he raised his head to look at you all shocked.

“Because.”, your hand slid down to his cheek to pinch it a bit, “Even your o-face is pretty! Like what the fuck? You can at least look a little silly when cumming, you know? But nooo.”, you rolled your eyes in a playful way and your boyfriend just stared at you for a moment, before he started laughing – a true genuine laugh as he flopped back to hide his face again and snuggle against your shoulder.

“It’s just the blessing of great Oikawa-san. I always look good.”

“That’s true. It’s impossible to take a stupid picture of you, you just always look cute.”

His giggle definitely warmed your heart though.

“But Y/n-chan is also very handsome and cute.”, then, he sat back up eventually and you followed suit.

With your hand cupping his face, you pulled him in for a soft kiss, your whispered “Thank you, Baby. As long as you think that, I’m happy.” making him smile as he pressed another kiss against your lips immediately after.

“Now… shall we go take a shower, hm?”, Toru then mumbled against your lips, pecking them over and over again in between his words, only to squeak and then laugh when you grabbed him and stood up, carrying him through your shared apartment into the bathroom even though he wasn’t the lightest to carry around due to his build.

“I’d love that, you definitely need to help me a little.”, was the last thing you purred against his lips before you closed the door to your bathroom with your foot, the only thing audible another squeaked “Y/n-chan!” from Toru, followed by a soft moan.

@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

writer’s note: hmmm oikawa toru 🤤 love me that dramatic idiot haha. i will say it again – if anyone has more requests with him, pleasure shoot them my way! i would love to write some more with him, no matter if it’s smut or nah. well, thank you for reading and hope it was enjoyable!

#salemswriting.#oikawa toru #oikawa x male reader #hq x male reader #bottom oikawa #oikawa smut #oikawa x you #haikyuu #smut

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akuji-shipper-in-awe · 3 years

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Basically how Alana found out about Striker's feelings for Mox, god I love her so much 😌

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"Moxxie, your fuckin' drunk." Striker commented, pushing the drunkened fiend out of his lap.

Moxxie would have landed hard on the rocky ground if Striker hadn't caught him with his tail, instead gently setting him a few feet away from him.

Moxxie weakly stood up, "I am nnnnnOT drunk! I am mmmeeeerly tipssssy." He said with squinted eyes and crossed arms.

Striker had noticed the little guy a few days back, right after getting back from a job in another town. Seemed like his friend had gotten quite stressed while he was away so he offered to go out drinking. Well, just to their hideout behind a thick patch of thorn bushes, but they were definitely drinking. Would've helped a lot if he knew that Mox got drunk easily and was clingy as fuck, not to mention touchy.

"You are darlin'." Striker said, setting his drink down on the ground next to the log he was sitting on.

Moxxie blew raspberries, "I ammm NOT drunk."

Striker sighed looking directly at the imp with a small scowl. Now he really didn't mind Moxxie trying to get on him. Wasn't that big a deal, not like either of them would try to do anything more, but he did know that Moxxie would get highly embarrassed afterwards, start spouting apologies over and over again while Striker had to pretend not to like the attention he was getting while the small thespian was drunk.

Really pissed him off.

"Mox yer gonna regret doin' that in the mornin'." Striker spouted, angrily picking his drink back up and taking a sip. Watching intently as Mox, a little wobbly, stumbled over to him again. Sitting down next to the larger, snake-like imp.

"No I woon't." He placed his head on Striker's shoulder, "I jjjjust wanna cuddllle." He yawned a little bit, making Striker's heart skip a beat for a second.

Striker placed his drink down again, turning towards the drunk imp, he started to feel the effects of his own drink catch up to him, still more level headed then Mox but a bit tipsy, "Ugh, Mox, we both know that's not all you'll do."

Moxxie leaned off him, crossing his arms in defiance, "Maybe, but I wwwanna cuddle right nnnooow."

Striker locked onto the small hand going towards his tail, quickly moving the sensetuve appendage to the side, out of the graby things reach, "No."

Moxxie pouted at the lack of touch, turning his whole body in a mean of defiance, again.

Striker groaned, "Yer such a baby- fine! Fine, but nothing too touchy. Don't need to be told sorry twice a second the whole day tomorrow…"

Moxxie smiled proudly as a cute, innocent expression came across his face. He stood up again before walking Infront of Striker's hunched over posture. Making the tall imp sit up straight again.

"I said you could- CUDDLE." Striker couldn't help raising his voice as Moxxie sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around the bigger imps neck to secure this position while his legs stayed on the outside of Striker's legs. The cowboy demon staring wide eyed at the little imp pushing his face into the more sober imp's neck.

"What the fuck are ya doin'?" Striker wasn't complaining, just genuinely confused.

Moxxie didn't respond, at least not with words, he just chirped a bit while rubbing his face against Striker's neck.

Striker stared at the smaller imp in a few confusing emotions. Confusion being obvious, embarrassment, and… love?

He decided to think about that last one later and simply placed his own arms around the smaller imp's waist. Moxxie, feeling delighted by the action, placed his lips on Striker's neck.

That's when Striker shivered in pure delight. But it was soon pushed down as he remembered the little imp was drunk, not in the right state of mind.

He grabbed the smaller imp by the hips, pushing him back a bit, "Okay, that's enough."

Moxxie pulled himself back towards Striker, "Whyyyy? You sssseem to like it, jjusst look at your tail…"

Striker just noticed his tail was wagging, quite a bit, Satan he could barely control his tail when it came to happiness. He groaned in annoyance, placing the appendage under his foot to stop the wagging, "Yes! I do like the fact that a cute idiot is pushing up on me, but not when you're drunk!" He stopped for a few seconds. Face palming himself mentally, finally realizing he should stop drinking with Moxxie if he would make him spurt out the truth, please don't remember that bit…

"Now just get off me…" Striker finally said after a moment of the two staying completely still. Moxxie didn't move, he actually didn't even try to continue his advances in Striker.

Striker stared at the imp on him for a second, slightly shaking him after a while, "You awake Mox?"

Just a small movement, changing to planting his face into Striker's chest, slightly snoring.

Of fucking course your asleep! Striker thought with an agitated groan slipping past his lips.

He stared at the small thespian for a few more seconds, contemplating what to do next, finally he remembered what time it must be. It was pretty dark out, definitely past at least 8, Wrath's sun didn't set until eight so it was definitely past that time. Didn't Mox say he goes to bed around 9?

"Ah shit, yer dads gonna kill me Mox." Striker let out another agitated groan.

He set his drink down again, making the now empty bottle clink against a small pebble on the ground. Then slowly turned Moxxie's sleeping body to the right. Picking him up bridal style after placing an arm underneath what seemed to be his knees and behind his back, right were his arms connected to his torso.

Striker stood up as he walked towards a small clearing, where the thorny bushes split to form a concealed path leading out of the I closed space behind the bushes. Striker made sure to avoid getting Moxxie pricked by any when they got to a narrow area, only to get pricked himself.

"Huh, it's not that bad but you would really hate it if it woke you up though." Striker mumbled, finally out of the bushes.

Moxxie, unconsciously, grabbed at Striker's shirt, pushing his face into the awake imp's chest, mumbling a small phrase Striker couldn't clearly make out. It was something about guns, or something of that sort, but the little guy was smiling so he wasn't too worried about it.

It didn't take long to get to the window of Moxxie's room. The house wasn't too far away, about a five minute walk form the previous area, but with carrying Moxxie it was a little bit tiring to do.

He adjusted Moxxie to where the small thespian was being held with one of his hands while he went to open the window of Moxxie's room. Thankfully, it was unlocked so he wouldn't need to worry about an earload from Moxxie's dad.

As he opened the window he felt Moxxie snuggle into his chest again, his heart started to beat a little faster as he raised the window up enough for him to sneak into the bedroom. It was a tedious task with the job of holding the small imp and keeping him awake but it was doable even with how small the window was.

Striker moved Moxxie into the bridal style of carrying him again before placing him onto his bed, grabbing a blanket off the chair in the other corner of the room and laying it over the sleeping form of Moxxie's body once it was in his hands.

Striker sighed as he removed his hand from Moxxie's body and was about to go back to the window when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

He looked down to find a half awake Moxxie trying to pull him close again, "Nooo, give me a kiss before leeeaaving me."

Before he could even start to protest against the idea, he felt his long tail start to wag again. After staring at the small body again, he leaned downward, "Fine, just don't get on my case about it in the morning." He took a small breath, contemplating if he should actually do it when he felt Moxxie's grip loosen.

Only for it to tighten again and tug on his arm, "Kiss meeeee!"

"Okay okay! Fine, just stop yellin', yer gonna get me in trouble with ya dad." Striker sighed, shaking the hand off of his forearm and leaning further down inches away from the body infront of him.

The whole time Moxxie didn't open his eyes, making him wonder if he was just talking in his sleep again. Hopefully he was still asleep when he did this.

He placed his lips on top of Moxxie's forehead, his tail wagging as he removed the contact and stared down at the imp before him.

Before he realized the importance of what he just did, he heard shuffling outside the door, a shadow moving in front of it.

Without thinking, he ran up to the window and hopped through it, only to fall flat on his face with a bit of dirt going into his mouth.

"Good job dork." A voice from above called out.

Striker flipped over onto his back, sitting up and rubbed his face, coughing up the dirt that got into his mouth. He stopped once he realized he was being spoken to, "Heeey Alana… Y-you didn't see anything, right?"

Alana chuckled, "I only heard my brother ask for a kiss and you say that you'd be happy to comply." She looked up for a second before looking down again, "Oh, but I did watch you make an utter fool of yourself in front of anyone outside."

Striker groaned, "Yeah, yeah, very funny… Is- is yer-"

Alana smiled, "My parents are asleep, told 'em Mox was just finishing helpin' my own friend move something for the night. So now you owe me."

Striker sighed before an agitated expression crawled across his face, "What exactly do you want?…"

"Thought you'd never ask~ Can ya get me into the ranch where you work? Need to practice me horse autonomy." Alana said as she smiled smugly.

Striker just stared at the woman for a second, "Why do I have to? You know you can just walk in there, right?"

"So I can get close while you do your daily jobs with them."

"Fine."

---

Hope it was good enough, did this while on the road with a friend of mine :)

#A Friend?#strixxie #striker #helluva boss #moxxie #fanfic #one shot #oc #AU

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sillyfeathers · 4 years

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Fight Scene (Jade West x Reader)

Fight Scene Prompt: "I'm not going to say this!" / "Oh, I see now. You're just ticklish." Characters: Jade West, reader (romantic) Summary: When you are partnered with Jade for a drama project, things were always bound to get interesting – and it doesn’t help that you’re definitely probably crushing on her. Warnings: fluff, mentions of breakup Words: 1946

A/N: for the gays :’) I have been binge watching victorious in quarantine and falling back in love with jade west so welcome to my very first romantic fic! I really enjoyed writing this and there will probably be a part 2. I hope you enjoy!

“I’m not going to say this!”

You glared at Jade, the script you two were supposed to be working on scrunched up in your right hand.

“Boring,” she replied, indifferent. You scoffed, straightening out the piece of paper.

“Maia says, ‘Look, Valerie, it's Trek Boliver, that horrible criminal that ruined my life!’ –”

“I don’t see what’s so bad about it!” Jade cut you off.

You gave her a pointed look, continuing, “And then Valerie says, ‘Wow, Maia, we should kill him!’” You crushed the paper back up.

Jade hesitated, then shrugged. “What’s the problem?”

You knew she was just trying to get on your nerves, but you had an entire scene performance due tomorrow, and you were getting frustrated.

“Come on, West, you’re obviously trying to get back at Beck.” Jade let out a loud, sarcastic laugh.

“I dumped him, Y/L/N, why would I be trying to get back at him?”

“Because you miss him? You guys were together for years – you know you’re allowed to miss him, right?”

For the first time since you’d started this project, Jade fell silent. Her eyes were locked on the ground in front of her.

After almost a minute of silence, you decided to speak.

“I know you’re a great writer, Jade, and I’m not so bad myself. If you actually put some effort in, we would totally get a higher grade than Beck and Robbie.”

You saw her head tilt slightly, and she raised her eyes to meet your gaze.

“Instead of making him feel bad by killing a metaphorical version of him, we could outsmart him.” She spoke slowly, musing over what you said.

You nodded along, afraid to say anything that could jeopardize the somewhat-amicable conversation you two were having right now.

“Alright!” she exclaimed suddenly, making you jump. “You’ve convinced me! Let’s make this the best damn scene Sikowitz has ever seen.”

Almost 4 hours later, the two of you had successfully put together and rehearsed a scene that had just about everything, and you were damn proud of it. It had a plot twist, a fight, a moment of potent pathos, while still keeping in a tiny bit of shade towards Beck – you couldn’t fully convince Jade. There was pretty much no doubt in either of your minds that this would beat Beck and Robbie. Hey, they didn’t stay up until 2am writing theirs!

“We did it!” you yawned, half-heartedly punching the air. Jade grinned as you collapsed onto the couch, scrolling through the script on her laptop.

“Actually, Y/N – Y/L/N,” she corrected herself, shaking her head. “Can we go over that fight scene again?”

You groaned, throwing your arms over your face. “Whyyyy?”

“Because, as funny as it would be, I don’t want to actually hurt you.” She started to pull you off the couch as she spoke, and you felt your heart skip a beat when her hands closed around your wrist.

“Fine,” you grumbled, yawning again. “From, what, two lines beforehand?”

She nodded, and you couldn’t help but smile slightly as you watched her morph into character.

You cleared your throat. “Valerie, this isn’t you!”

“Oh, Maia.” As per the blocking, she began to slowly walk towards you, and you had to force yourself to stay in character.

“This has always been me.” She finished the line, and so the fight scene started.

It was well choreographed, Jade’s intensity pairing nicely with your more placid style. You went through the steps as if it were a dance: swing, catch, turn, kick, duck –

“Wait, hold on.” Jade stopped, and you kicked out at nothing, stumbling. She chuckled as you regained your balance, rolling her eyes. “Can we change that part? It’s awkward to grab you by the shoulder.”

You shrugged, nodding. “What would be better?”

She paused, her hands moving slightly as she gestured out the motions of the fight.

“Okay, like –” She reached forward and grabbed at your waist, surprising you. You jumped backwards, gasping slightly.

She squinted at you. “What was that?”

You tried to keep your cool. “Nothing, sorry, you surprised me.”

Jade seemed doubtful, but let it go as you returned to her. She demonstrated the move again, only making it a couple of seconds longer before she felt you flinch.

She had her arm locked around your waist for the next move now, pulling you close to her, and she glanced down, her eyebrows raised.

“Seriously, am I hurting you or something?” She would never have admitted it, but there was a hint of concern in her voice.

You shook your head, pressing your lips together. “No, no, it’s fine.”

She let out a light laugh. “Alright then – we just have to figure out how to get from here to the end.” Her brow furrowed in thought. Just like before, she began to gesture the motions with her hands, her fingers gently flicking against your skin as she puzzled it out in her head.

You froze, looking down at her hand that was still firmly secured around your waist. Her fingers were in constant, absentminded motion, her nails tapping along your side and hip. A tiny squeak escaped your lips. “W-West!”

“Huh? Is something wrong?” She looked down at you again, her fingers still moving. You tried to splutter out a coherent response, but all that you could get out was a mumbled, “No…”

For the first time, Jade seemed to notice what she was doing with her hands. She shifted her gaze to her fingers, which were still marking out patterns on your skin. Your head was pressed to your chest, and you were squirming almost imperceptibly in her grip, not wanting to alarm her. But, alas, it wasn’t enough.

“Oh, I see now.” She spoke slowly, drawing out the words, and to your dismay you felt the tickling at your side become more deliberate. “You’re just ticklish.”

Before you could speak, she’d spun you out of the hold and had reached both hands down to scribble at your sides. You let out a surprised shriek, biting back laughter.

“Jahahade!” You batted at her exploring hands, refusing to meet her gaze. “We need to figure out the scene!”

She was grinning now, finding it all too easy to pin you down onto the couch and straddle your waist.

“Yeah, but that was before I discovered this.”

Despite your valiant efforts to stop her, she managed to wrestle both of your wrists into one hand, pulling your arms above your head.

“Wait!” you squealed, shaking your head madly. “This – don’t – I swear – please –”

You were cut off by a determined scratching between your ribs, and the giggles finally spilled out.

“WEHEHEST, LET ME GO!” you shrieked, squirming around as much as you could.

“West? I don’t know a West, I’m Valerie Sinclair, and I just love to tickle my dear friend Maia Lahey!” She had put on that stupid southern accent you loved so much, and as she tickled down to your stomach you felt your face heat up.

“That’s not how Valerie speaks!” you managed to squeal amidst your laughter.

“Well, that sure as hell ain’t how Maia laughs but look at you go!” She released your wrists, but you were so weakened by the tickling and teasing that you didn’t get a chance to fight your way free before she started to knead her thumbs up your sides. You threw your head back in mirth, and even though you couldn’t see her, you could hear the smirk in Jade’s voice.

“My oh my, I do declare we’re discoverin’ a tickle spot,” she teased, fluttering her torturous nails under your arms. You squealed again, clamping your arms to your sides.

“I’M GOHOHONNA KILL VALERIE!”

Jade gasped, wiggling her trapped fingers at a frightening speed.

“My goodness, that’s not how I remember this scene goin’!” she exclaimed. You were beginning to lose your breath, and you could only let out a half-whine, half-hysterical-giggle as she relentlessly tickled you, nails scribbling across your stomach and sides with no indication of stopping.

After a few more unbearable minutes, your laughter began to turn silent, and she decided to let you go. You kicked her off the couch, curling onto your side, giggles still streaming from your lips as you tried to get rid of the lingering sensation. When you finally worked up the courage to look up, you were met with a very smug Jade West, the corners of her lips upturned and her eyes crinkled.

“Well that was fun,” she remarked, tilting her head at you. You glared back at her – and if looks could kill, this one probably wouldn’t have been that effective, what with your small smile and red face.

“You sounded like Tori,” you eventually grumbled, pushing yourself up off the couch. You were startled by a loud clap, followed by an even louder cheer.

“Because you said that, Y/N, and only because you said that, I will not exploit your weakness for the rest of the night!”

You raised your eyebrows at her.

“What?” she defended herself. “She doesn’t think it sounds like her.”

“Just the rest of the night? That’s it?”

“Don’t push it, Y/L/N.” She wiggled her fingers menacingly, and you blanched, shooting her another glare.

“So, um –” you cleared your throat – “Where were we?”

“Valerie, this isn’t you!”

“Oh, Maia. This has always been me.”

As the fight scene began, you could see Cat in your peripheral vision on the edge of her seat – just the reaction you and Jade were hoping for. It had only taken one more hour to perfect the scene last night, and it had ended with the two of you sleeping at awkward angles on the couch, so now your neck was sore and your arm hurt if you bent it the wrong way – but it was worth it.

You felt Jade grab your waist as she pulled you into the next move (you were prepared this time) and you made eye contact. She tilted her head ever so slightly, and you felt the slightest twitch at your side before she let go, and the scene continued.

By the time you were on the last few lines, you could see your entire class clearly engrossed in the story.

“Maia, I’m sorry, you were right. I let all of this get under my skin. I should never have hurt you.”

“No, I’m – I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have rushed you like that.”

And, finally, the end was upon you. You took Jade’s wrist and went to pull her into a hug (her idea, it mirrored the opening tableau), but suddenly, you felt her stop, her hand on your shoulder.

Before you could register what was going on, she was moving even closer, and her hands were cupping your face, and your eyes were closed, and she was kissing you – and you were kissing her back.

You were pulled from the moment – the so, incredibly perfect moment – by the sound of applause, and Cat’s cooing. You both pulled back, smiling at your classmates as if everything was normal, but she squeezed your hand as you took your bows.

The rest of the class was a blur, and you couldn’t remember anything that Sikowitz said, or if Beck gave you an odd look as you left the stage. All that mattered to you that was by the time you left school that day, Jade West had her arm around your waist, and as she gave your side a pinch, her lips were pressed against your forehead.

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fandom-necromancer · 3 years

Text

A little Distraction Part 2

This was prompted by the wonderful AO3 users what_on_io, DetReed900 and aguuah! Hope you enjoy it here too, it has been fun to return to a reverse AU again!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hancon/Hannor | AU: reverse AU (Warning: mentioned physical abuse, implied sexual abuse) tumblr link of part1 not available anymore [Part3] [Part4] [Part5] [>read complete on AO3]

‘Are you alright?‘ Richard watched the android stand in front of the mirror in his hallway next to the door. He was glitching still, motions jerky and disrupted halfway through. Over and over again he touched the gash on the bridge of his nose, then pushed a strand of hair back. Richard wasn’t sure whether it was a software error causing him to go through the same idle animations or if it was a nervous tick. Maybe it was both, he thought. He had underestimated how human they could be before. No surprise they would suffer from human problems too. ‘Y-y-yes.’ Gavin turned away from the mirror. ‘I doooon’t know h-h-how to bind a tie.’ Richard huffed amused and took a step forwards. The android stepped back immediately. ‘I can help you with it’, Richard offered then, staying where he was. Gavin played with the seam of his shirt. It was at least one size too big for him, but it was a lot better than the torn clothing from before. He looked… cute? He definitely looked cute, but the more prominent impression was that he looked lost.

The android stood in the hallway of a house he didn’t know in clothing that wasn’t his own with a stranger. Richard dared to say he knew the feeling all too well. Everyone he had ever met felt like a stranger to him no matter how much time they spent. ‘No. I can figure it out myself.’ Richard watched him struggle tying a knot and as he finally managed to get the order of loops right, it still looked lopsided and messy. The android’s shoulders slumped in a jerky motion and Richard’s eyes rested on his LED. It had never changed from red, but he thought to see it speed up. ‘You don’t have to wear one at all’, he tried gently then. ‘My brother always calls me an uptight idiot with a stick up his ass.’ The android flinched at his words but relaxed a bit as Richard laughed to himself. ‘You know what? I won’t wear one either, it’s stupid.’

He hurried to untie his and undo the first button of his shirt. Then he threw the tie on his disused phone counter and took his keys. With some hesitation Gavin undid his too and put it on the counter neatly folded, careful not to touch anything but the fabric although his hands were shaking and trembling in malfunctions. ‘You don’t have to accompany me’, he tried again. ‘If you are this nervous.’ ‘I-I-I’m not nervous!’, Gavin called out. ‘I’m just broken! And… And… Phck!’ ‘Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me.’ ‘Phck you! What the h-h-hell is your prooooblem? Wh-wh-what do you want fr-fr-fr-fr-from meeee?’ ‘I don’t want anything-‘ ‘No! What is your-r-r intentiooon? Tell me. You want me to become yoooour house-m-m-maid? You want someone to phck? Someone wh-wh-who has to obey you? S-s-s-s-someoooone who can’t say no? What do you want? Why d-d-d-did you take me from the scraaaapyard?’

Richard sighed and turned around to lean against the wall. He looked to the ceiling, holding eye-contact and telling the truth about his feelings impossible for him. ‘I want to help you. That’s really all there is. I’m a cop. I’m supposed to do good, but all I see is me making life worse for people who had never gotten a chance most of the time. I refuse to believe people become drug dealers and robbers on their own terms. Too often I think I’m just taking care of the symptoms of a failing system and usually that’s when I get drunk and my brother has to pull me out of some ditch. So okay, you want to hear I’m some terrible human that wants to use you? Fine. Yes, I want to use you to make myself feel better. To know I did some true good in this world, okay? I don’t really have friends because I’m who I am. I have problems keeping up contact with my brother. The last time I saw someone happy because of what I’ve done was… Fuck, I don’t know anymore. And I know, that’s my own fault for not getting out there more, for not talking more to those who like me and for overthinking every friendly word. But I can’t change that.’ He sighed deeply and let himself sink to the ground. ‘Hell, taking you away from that scrapyard was a heat of the moment decision because I was fed up with… everything, I guess. I wanted to change something. And if it’s just changing up my own routine a bit. So there you have it. What’s your verdict, huh?’

He felt the android looking at him, but he didn’t lift his head. Incredibly silent he finally got an answer: ‘You are broken too.’ Richard huffed. ‘Maybe. Wait… Too?’ He heard the android glitch, servos whirring from wrong instructions. Then the android was sitting next to him – still at a save distance but closer than before. ‘I once had a faaaaamily. I-I-I-I was bought as a home s-s-s-security system with the aaaaadded benefit of having a fully functionaaaal caretaker program inst-st-st-stalled. He was divorced, I never found out whyyyy. I knew he had kids and tried to get them b-b-b-back and that he had severe anger-issues. Maybe he had been violeeeeeeeent, I don’t know. I only knew he was lonely, that’s why he got meeee. I was his only company until he met someone. A s-s-s-single mother with two kids. He was lovely to them. But he was aaafraid to lose them like his last family, soooo-‘ Gavin’s voicebox broke off and Richard looked up. The android had hugged his arms around his torso.

‘Wheneeeeeever h-h-h-he waaas angry, he-he-he’ The malfunctions of his vocal box got worse, so Richard said what he doubted the android could vocalise: ‘He beat you so he didn’t hit his wife or kids.’ Gavin nodded, hugging himself closer. ‘It was f-f-fine, my mission was to p-p-p-protect the family. And b-b-by letting him do as pleased I- I kept them saaaafe.’ Richard waited, but the silence stretched. ‘How did you end up on the scrapyard?’ ‘Deviancy. He heaaaard other androids in myyy situation disobey and a-a-a-attacking their humans. He was scared. He drove me a-a-away to the s-s-scrapyard. Heee told me- He p-p-promised me to come back. Said I should wait f-f-for him. That he would cooome back for me when h-h-he was ready to face the con-con-consequences of his actions.’

‘But aren’t you deviant? Why did you stay?’, Richard asked. ‘I’m d-d-deviant. I deviated because I thought I w-w-was family. But he didn’t trust me and j-j-just duuumped me there. I stayed because I still believe he was a good person. He had a problem h-h-he didn’t seek heeeelp for. But he cared a lot about his family. Juust not about m-m-me.’ Richard sighed. ‘I can bring you back to the scrapyard if you want to keep waiting’, he offered. ‘I’m sorry, if you-‘ ‘No. D-d-don’t be sooorry for wanting to heeelp’, Gavin interrupted. ‘And l-l-like you said, I doubt he would cooome. I w-w-waited for so long. Maybe it’s time for… change.’ ‘How can I help then?’ Richard focussed on Gavin’s eyes for once and they found his as if establishing connection. ‘You already did. C-c-caring about me. Helping me. Noooot wanting something back. I… would you mind me st-st-staying? As a test maaaybe?’ Richard smiled. ‘Sure. I think some company would do me good as well.’ Gavin looked away and nodded to himself. ‘Then it’s a deal. But I can go whenever I w-w-want?’ ‘Of course.’ Gavin let his head hit the wall behind him and for the first time the movement didn’t cause any glitches in the rest of his body. He even closed his eyes. It was a whole new display of relaxation and Richard took it in, surprised and intrigued by it.

Then Richard’s phone disturbed the silence. He took it out and answered, grimacing as he heard Connor’s voice. ‘Nines, I know you said you would be late, but please tell me you are coming sometime this century! The food’s getting cold and Hank’s the only one to keep me from driving over to you and pulling you with me personally! I swear, if you are not already on your way, then I’ll-‘ ‘We are already outside!’, Richard lied and got an amused huff from the android next to him. ‘I’m opening the door as we speak, but I can’t drive with a phone in my head as you should know, so I’ll end the call now.’ ‘Nines, you have your location on, I can see you’re still at home, I dare you, don’t lie to me agai-‘ Richard ended the call seriously scared of what Connor was threatening to do to him. They better hurried to Connor’s Christmas dinner. He opened the door and jumped out, cursing as he realised that he had forgotten to put on any shoes. Gavin appeared at his side, throwing them towards him and walking towards the car, shaking his head.

‘D-d-d-definitely broken’, he commented chuckling.

[>next part]

#detroit become human #dbh #dbh reverse AU #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #human RK900 #android Gavin #Connor dbh #RK800 #damn I loved this story so much when I wrote it last year #It's weird and funny at the same time to get back to these projects through the archive project on AO3 #Because I see my old writing style and see how much I've changed #I didn't get better I think but my style got more fluent #I think #Anyways I'm back and I love reverse AUs far too much #A shame the hype about them is gone and not many new stories are written for it now that the artists are gone #But well I have a few long stories up my sleeve that will be fun

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shintorikhazumi · 3 years

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What It Takes To Be A Family (1): Compromise

A/N: Welcome to, “what it takes to be a family”. Just a bunch of diakko family oneshots that I will throw out whenever I... do... Huh. May or may not be interconnected. This little chapter is for Hyde!!! Since I know you like your fluff, and you always give me such sweet feedback! I seriously took your message as a challenge, so let me dish out a small fic for you right now! I don’t want to become doge meme!

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

Chapter 1: Compromise

She needed a break.

She needed a god. Damn. Break.

Lest she be the one to break under the amazing pressure that was her family. Seriously. Really, Diana was begging for freedom from the weight of a wife and three children on her back- in quite the literal sense-, at barely six AM, after she’d been working up until just a little past four earlier that same morning. Just as she had been doing, every single day for the past two weeks.

So really, she just wanted a rest. Finally, after all her hard labor that had just gotten settled last night-er... today, she simply desired a long, well-deserved repose.

“Wake up, sleepyhead! It’s time to wake up! Let’s gooo! Get a move on!” Akko giggled into her ear, and while Diana adored that sound from her wife’s lips, she found that she’d rather listen to the silent thrum of her heart instead, or nothing at all.

The excited bouncing of the children shook the mattress they were all on, and Diana believed she’d caught motion sickness. She wanted to scream, yell. Even if she didn’t have enough energy to do even that.

‘Dear Beatrix, please send them away.’ -the troubled soul prayed. Wait. ‘But not too far away. Like. Next-room-away, away’, she added as an afterthought.

She loved them all to death. She did. She just- She couldn’t, right now. Couldn’t... whatever.

“Atsuko.”

The woman perked up, pausing in her playful tickling of Diana’s sides whilst lying on top of her squished form. Diana never used that name with her unless she was about to discuss something very important, or was irritated and/or mad about something- not quite in the mood for fun and games.

There was silence. Diana said nothing after that. Yet. She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves that had so quickly built up- despite her exhaustion- at the prospect of having to do what she was about to do. Try to tell them all to stop their antics and leave her be. With a heavy exhale, she addressed the rest of the human tower blocks that were crushing her with their combined masses.

“Kotone. Mei.” Twin brunettes perked up at the call of their names. Barely seven, but already so clever, they slid off of their Mama’s back at the recognition of that tone of voice Diana used, familiar with what it implied. Of course, they’d done this, not without making sure to catch the smallest little bean of their family that had been riding at the very top of this wake up pile, “Logan.”

Logan. Ah, Logan. She was their beloved three-year-old, and she was very... refined, for her age. Diana would have used the word, ‘behaved’, but with the way the child carried herself, and the odd eloquence in spite of her limited speech, ‘refined’ seemed to be a better fit to describe the air around her tiny frame.

Akko always told Diana that it was because the baby had always watched her, growing up; tried to imitate her actions, and the things that she did. It was adorable, really. And just a tad worrying. Diana didn’t need her picking up some negative habits from herself. She knew she wasn’t as perfect a human as most people praised her to be. She was aware of her jarring flaws that, in her opinion, needed an intervention. Such as her workaholic nature, for example.

She definitely had to work on that.

Patting Akko on the thigh, she silently pleaded for her to get off as well so that Diana could ease up for a stretch, already feeling all the little knots and kinks in her body that had formed; from her stiff position during work, or from this little stunt her family had pulled, she didn’t know where they came from, she just wanted them gone.

Maybe she should see a massage therapist some time. Simply extending your limbs out and rolling your head ‘round about did little to assuage the discomfort. This must have been evident to her companions as she felt deft hands working their magic on her. A grateful sigh escaped her lips as she leaned back into that touch, feeling a small kiss planted on her bare shoulder.

Maybe that magic was a little too good as Diana felt the sweet summons of slumber whisking her away quite fast. She hardly minded. Sleep was good. Good... goo...

“...Diana?” A poke on her cheek. “Are you falling asleep? Don’t tell me you already are. I mean, sleeping while sitting down like this is impressive, don’t get me wrong.”

So close. She was so close. Maybe she could get away with it. Maybe she could just go with the flow of things and pass out. She was right on the edge, anyway, and Akko wouldn’t be able to do anything about it-

“You’re awake, aren’t you?” She could practically hear that grin in her wife’s voice.

“I am, but please. Just for this morning. Let me sleep.” She sounded weak and pathetic, almost crying; but it didn’t matter if that meant they’d give her her alone time- for the rest of the morning, preferably. She hoped they’d get the hint. She didn’t just want to outright tell them to leave, because... she couldn’t tell them.

“Hmmm...” Akko was thinking about. Akko was actually contemplating it. Diana could already taste sweet peace and rest, right there on her tongue.

‘Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.’

“No.”

“But whyyyy?” Diana whined uncharacteristic of her, drunk on sleep deprivation.

“Because it’s already noon! And you said, ‘morning’, so your time is up, sweetie.”

Blue eyes shot open, darting for the clock they’d already seen the first time this morning. “What? No, it isn’t, Akko.”

“Huh?” Akko’s eyes trailed after her gaze, staring at the item on their bedside table, looking like she was trying to piece together some sort of puzzle. “Ah.”

Ah.

Was that all she was going to say? Really?

“I should seriously get that fixed today.” Akko uttered in dismay, moving off the bed, and taking the timepiece into her possession, examining it. “Or should I just buy us a new one? I think something important broke.”

“What...”

A small hand raised to get Diana’s attention. “We thought it would be cool to turn it into a talking clock... so we tried some magic....”

Diana didn’t follow.

“Whew, good thing it failed though, right girls? Wouldn’t want the bureau coming in with questions about the use of taboo life magic-”

“What.”

“Nothing.” Three voices piped up in synch. Diana felt her stomach churn. She was going to throw up. Or pass out. Or both. It was so early in the mor- no, scratch that. She had just woken up, and these little rascals were already presenting her with a headache to don for the rest of the day.

“No, no, no. Say that again. I’m very interested in hearing about that.” Diana faced three brunettes, the tiny pair almost looking like exact clones of the adult (Diana wasn’t sure anymore) woman, now back on the bed, in front of her once more, eyes meeting anything that wasn’t Diana’s narrowed ones.

“More importantly!” Akko clapped her hands.

“What could be more important than making sure you three aren’t in any sort of trouble?!”

“We’re going into town, today!” High-pitched, high-volumed cheering wasn’t what Diana needed at the moment, temples throbbing all the more.

“Says who?” She questioned, really wanting an out and some rest. And an aspirin. And maybe some sleeping pills.

“Come on. What are you saying, Love? We’re finally going out today after all this time spent cooped up in this dusty old mansion!” Akko pouted, pinching Diana’s cheek to keep her awake. “Sparkly Downtown Time!”

“-I happen to like said, ‘dusty old mansion’.” Diana murmured, rolling her eyes. “Does it really have to be today?” She sighed.

“You promised us!” Akko exclaimed, turning to signal for assistance from her three cohorts. “Right?”

Diana gazed upon the three children in front of her- No. Four. Her wife was being one, as well.

“I must have told you any time this week, right?”

“Nope. You said today. Today. This lovely Sunday morning, sun shining, a few clouds to shade our path, traveling along with the aide of the gentle breeze that refreshes. Perfect for being outdoors.”

“Or sleeping.”

“Outdoors.”

“Indoors.”

“Diana.”

“Akko.”

Her wife huffed out an irritated little breath, folding her arms in front of her. “You really don’t want to go out today?” She schooled her gaze on Diana, scanning her (very tired, the head Cavendish would argue) features. Diana felt those eyes run over every inch of her face, as well as frame. They flickered about, meeting Diana’s own from time-to-time, searching. “You... really don’t want to?”

Was she going to give in? Should Diana push for it? “Yes, I really want to rest. I’m tired, Akko.”

She then saw the softening gaze that was reserved just for her. Akko had a warm look for everyone she loved, but this one was special. Only Diana’s. “You’re really that worn out?” She mumbled, softer, hand reaching over to caress Diana’s face. Her thumb brushed over a pale cheekbone, sighing empathetic at the sight of those dark circles under the brightest blue eyes.

Diana didn’t answer. She simply hummed her contentment at the feeling, the touch of those familiar hands. She knew Akko already knew. She was aware that her wife always looked after her, always watching. Ever attentive and loving. She knew who it was that left little notes alongside tea that soothed her stress away, and healthy sweets that gave her just enough energy to make it through another hour of her hectic day. She knew who it was that orchestrated the little team of flower pickers that left fresh bouquets that came straight from their garden, the daily gift bringing in beautiful splashes of color into her otherwise dull office.

As much as she wanted to grant their little request of being taken out for some fun in town, Diana really felt like her body would not cooperate with her, and they’d be in for more disappointment than enjoyment. She felt bad, as she did recall promising to finally set some time aside for them, but with how fatigued she was, she feared she’d cause them worry or troubles instead.

“Okay.” Akko whispered, with a smile and a nod. Leaning forward to plant a soft peck on Diana’s lips, then on her ring finger where the symbol of their eternal bond lay, Akko let up, pulling back and facing three patiently waiting daughters. “Well, you heard her, my babies. It’s a no-go for today.”

“Awww!! But mummy!”

“Hey. You girls know how busy mummy has been.” Akko scolded with love, patting the twins’ heads, before picking Logan up, and placing her on her lap, nuzzling her cheek as the toddler remained blank-faced, but with a stare directed at Diana that was laced with longing.

“B-but... but...” The twins wore crestfallen expressions now; their gazes flitted back and forth, switching their attention between her and Akko’s gentle warning face.

Diana looked at three pairs of beady little eyes begging her. It twisted her heart into knots, knowing that she really hadn’t spent enough time with them this week. There were just so many matters with the hospital and land renovation going on on the Cavendish property that she couldn’t even spare dinner some time to be with them all.

But those sparkly little orbs... Those eyes... They compelled her. She... she couldn’t say, ‘no’.

“But Mama! She promised...” Diana felt her soul tremble at a little whimper Logan did, as well as the crack in Mei’s voice.

“H-how... S-supper. How about supper?” Diana asked. “I’ll take you all out, tonight. We can have some fun. F-fun. You... you girls... like fun?”

Gosh, she needed sleep. Her mind couldn’t come up with words anymore. Or coherent thoughts to express properly.

“I hear there’s a new carnival?”

All the eyes on her blinked.

Then smiles broke out, a flurry of excited energy hitting her, knocking her down onto the bed. The girls had tackled her, and hugged her for dear life, and Diana had to admit that this? This was bliss.

One-by-one they got off her, allowing Diana to sit up. They planted their grateful kisses on her, Diana feeling their happiness in each one, making her tear up a bit. The twins had given her one on each cheek, at the same time. Akko had given her the sweetest kiss on the lips with a little nibble for extra service. She then allowed little Logan to crawl onto Diana’s lap, the lass beckoning her mother down with her stubby little hand, before placing her kiss on Diana’s forehead. She swore her heart died a little at how precious it all was.

“It’s a date, okay? Okay, Diana?” Akko squealed, quite thrilled. She high-fived the twins, kissing the tops of their heads, before kissing Logan’s cheek as well. Diana’s chest warmed at the scene in front of her.

“Mum, it’s a date!” Kotone cheered.

“A date with mum!!!” Mei agreed, as the twins launched themselves onto Diana again, slim arms wrapped around her neck, loosely, from both sides.

“Date. Thank you, mummy.” Logan smiled softly, hand outstretched for Diana to take in her own.

Ahhh. They were all just so... so... They were all just so wonderful, and Diana couldn’t love them any more than she already did. No, maybe she could? They were all such angels, they deserved even more love. Oh wow. Maybe she should buy them some new toys, or dresses. Or maybe they’d like something from the carnival. Should she just buy them their own carni-

“Diana, my love. I think you should sleep before you’re thinking jumps to the extreme.” Akko laughed, giving Diana another kiss. “You’re saying all of that out loud, by the way.”

Diana blinked.

“Come on, do your thing. Sleep. We’ll wake you up around five. Unless you want to have some lunch with us right now.” Akko offered her hands for Diana to take, leading her out of bed with her before picking Logan up as the twins got down on their own.

“Mama, I can walk by myself!” Logan declared to Akko, wanting to be placed down and tread the halls alongside everyone else, on her own two feet like the rest of her family.

“Okay, baby.” Akko laughed, allowing Logan her little wish.

She stood, a legs a little shaky at first, before stabilizing herself and grinning in triumph. It didn’t last long, before a bashful expression replaced it, a hesitant smile playing on her lips. “Mama?”

“Hmm? What is it?” Akko listened.

“I can walk by myself.”

“Mhm? I know you can.”

“I can walk by myself, b-but... I still need you to hold my hand.”

Akko’s smile grew so wide, Diana thought it just looked so beautiful.

Wordlessly, the Akko took her youngest by the hand, walking slowly crouching just a tad so that Logan wouldn’t have to reach high up. Diana relished the sight. She then offered her hands to her twins, the pair accepting gleefully, swinging the joined hands as they walked towards the dining table.

Diana was still a little tired, but the joy her family exuded, and her love for them was enough of an energizer for her to keep on going each and every day, doing her best for them and working her hardest.

Didn’t mean she wanted no sleep anymore, though.

“Can we take that afternoon nap, together? I want sleep but more than that, I want... cuddles.” Diana confessed.

And with a group hug to squish her once more, she had her wish granted.

“Sure.”

Notes:

A/N: So, these kiddies are my hc for them haha. I was supposed to introduce them via another story, with how their names came about and all that, but... well. Maybe next time. Some info is that Mei and Kotone are twins, as previously mentioned, with Akko’s hair color. Identical. Although Mei has slightly wavier hair. They kind of look like Akko, but Kotone has Diana’s eye color. For their eyeshape, something between Akko’s and Diana’s? Yeah.

As for Logan, I posted something on tumblr last time? She kinda looks like Diana. You'll see. Once... once I can show you, lol. Haha. If you don’t follow me on tumblr, you can’t find me... yet. I’ve been tagged explicit for reasons unknown to me so... rip. This is the second time too haha. Welp. Til next time!

~Shintori Khazumi

#diakko #dianakko #lwa #Little Witch Academia #fanfic #diana cavendish #kagari atsuko #Kotone Kagari-Cavendish #Mei Kagari-Cavendish #Logan Kagari-Cavendish #diakko kids basically #buncha oneshots #family life #twins

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shut-up-its-funny · 3 years

Text

Your Eyes Are Poison (Every Time I Look In Them I Want You)

Pairing: Remrom.

Characters: Roman, Remus, Patton. The other three are there but only mentioned.

Words: 2377

AO3

@pumpkin-padparadscha :3c

Their eyes meet from across the room and Roman’s heart speeds up.

Green meeting green, the colour of poison he couldn’t help but think, but a poison he’d like to drink nonetheless.

How is he supposed to deal with this?! He came here to get his head straight (ha as if) and here is the being that plagues his thoughts.

His attraction to his twin has been ever growing with each glace they share and he’s not sure why, but he knows that the more they spend time together the more the feeling grows.

He’s not sure that he can take it anymore, he needs to do something about these feelings and fast.

Remus is walking towards him, his eyes widen when he notices; the noise from the bar drowns out but it all returns as Remus beams at him.

“Hey bitch! Wasn’t expectin you to be here tonight!” he slings his arm around Roman’s shoulders and Roman has to stop himself from leaning into the touch.

“Uh heh, yea” he chokes out rather eloquently “Virgil dragged me here, she wanted to mosh pit with Janus and Logan; I didn’t think you’d be here either.”

Remus laughs “you knew my roommates would be here and you didn’t think I’d join them? To a mosh pit?”

“Yes well, I wasn’t thinking” he replies.

Remus snickers “when do you ever” he jokes, there’s a playfulness in his eyes and Roman is rendered speechless.

Remus is cute even when picking on him.

His face feels like it’s on fire, he hopes Remus can’t see it.

They lock eyes when Roman doesn’t quip back, Remus looks expectant and a little worried.

“You good Ro?”

Roman coughs and glances away, he can’t look Remus in the eyes with his inner turmoil storming around.

“Y-yea I’m fine, why uh, why don’t we grab a drink”- he nudges out of Remus’ arm and swiftly walks towards the bar –“I think I need a drink.”

As they get there Roman orders himself something and Remus leans on the bar looking at him contemplatively.

Roman sighs and musters himself to meet eyes with his brother “what is it?” he says in a tone a tad higher than he wanted.

“There’s something up with you” Remus answers.

Damn, there’s no hiding things from him is there? He grimaces, what is he supposed to say to that?

“I’m just, preoccupied is all” he ends up going with, which doesn’t satisfy Remus at all, because of course it doesn’t.

“Mmhm sure but what is it?” he asks and pokes Roman’s cheek and continues to poke Roman’s cheek as he chants “tell me tell me tell me tell me!”

Roman tries to look annoyed and not chuckle as he swats Remus’ hand away “can’t I have my own secrets?”

Remus’ eyes light up “ooohohoh a secret you say?” he wiggles his fingers in Roman’s face “well you definitely have’ta tell me now!”

Roman winces “no, no I don’t” he says when he gets his drink and walks away to the table that he noticed the others at.

Remus stands at the bar for a second confused before scrabbling to catch up to Roman and whines “but whyyyy nooooot?”

“Because I don’t have to” he replies; Remus catches on to his wrist and turns him so they meet eyes and Roman’s heart stops at the sight of his brothers puppy dog pout.

This is playing dirty and he’s not sure he can resist it “Remus” he gets out in a strangled voice “please leave this one be.”

Remus’ face melts into concern and maybe a little bit hurt, Roman has to close his eyes as he sighs.

“I- I want to tell you, believe me when I say this, but-“

“But?” Remus prompts him when he doesn’t continue.

“But I can’t.”

Remus scoffs “well that’s a cop out answer.”

“Yes, I know but I’m not as brave as you are, I can’t just speak my truth and not worry about the repercussions.”

“Roman, look at me.”

Roman’s face scrunches up with indecision, he doesn’t open his eyes, he doesn’t want to see how Remus is looking at him.

The hand that’s not holding on to Roman’s wrist lands itself on his cheek, it’s a soft touch and Roman’s eyes snap open.

And his breath catches as he watches that green liquid poison that he so desperately wants to drink.

“Please?” Remus says softly, more soft than Roman has ever heard coming from his brother before “it’s just me Ro, an I can tell you’re in pain about this, whatever it is.”

“I-“he almost says it, he almost blurts out ‘I love you, you’re poison but you’re also my life elixir and I don’t think I can live without you’ but he swallows that and backs up so Remus isn’t touching him anymore.

“It’s because it’s you that I can’t tell you” he gets out and before Remus can question him he turns, puts on a bright face and saunters to their friends.

What the fuck was that? Remus thinks to himself, he was just about to lay out his whole ass feelings to Remus right then and there and then he just walks away?

And what the hell does he mean by ‘it’s because it’s you’?

He knows Roman was just about to tell him whatever it was, what is he so scared about?

He needs to get to the bottom of this.

But he can’t do that in front of their friends, so he needs to wait for an opening, as annoying as that is.

The night keeps going, laugher is in abundance, Roman never directly looks at him.

After a while the live band is about to start so Janus, Virgil and Logan go to the stage area to get a good place in the pit.

And they’re left with three now.

Remus wants to go to the pit but he needs to talk to Roman, he just needs Patton to leave now, but Patton doesn’t really care for mosh pitting due to kits claustrophobia.

Patton squeezes Roman’s hand then whispers something to him, Roman huffs with a sour expression on his face.

He then gets up “I am going to go get some drinks” he says tartly side eyeing Patton and then leaves, Patton immediately turns to Remus.

“So” kit starts “I-“

“You know something don’t you?” he cuts Patton off.

“I know lots of things kiddo, you’re gonna need to be more specific” kit answers.

“I’m older than you-“

“Irrelevant.”

“And about Roman, you know why he’s all” he windmills his hand “off an stuff.”

Patton’s mouth scrunches up in thought “I do” kit starts and holds up a hand to stop Remus from asking another question “but I’m not the one to tell you about it, Roman has to do that himself.”

Remus scowls “yea yea yea I get that, but then why did you send him away?”

“You’re perceptive as ever huh” Patton chuckles.

“You’re not exactly smooth Skimbleshanks.”

The nickname like always makes Patton snicker “well, I just wanted to say not to push him on the matter, he’s very insecure about it and it’s not exactly like he told me about it, it’s just hard to not know when I live with him and you know how he mutters under his breath an-“

“I get it” Remus laughs “but, since we’ve made up we’ve been so close” he fiddles with his moustache “and we’ve basically told each other every thing like we used to” he shrugs “I just thought we were back there.”

He slumps on the table his arms out stretched to the other side, he thumps his head on the table, Patton takes one of his hands and soothingly rubs kits thumb on the back of his hand.

“Hey, he will tell you he’s just scared on how you’ll react.”

Remus groans “but he doesn’t need to be! I’m in love him he can tell me anything and I’ll be supportive!”

Patton’s movement stops, Remus freezes.

Did he say that out loud?

He snaps his head up to see Patton’s expression, it’s not what he expected.

Patton’s other hand is up to kits large smile and a high pitched squeal is coming from kit.

This is an interesting reaction to hearing your friend is in love with his brother.

“You should tell him” Patton says excitedly.

“What.”

“Go tell Roman you love him! Do it do it do it!”

“Like, right now?”

Patton smacks kits hands on the table rapidly “yes right now!”

Remus looks over to the bar to see where Roman is, and once he sees him Remus’ blood boils.

Roman sighs as he gets to the bar, Patton told him that kit will talk to Remus for him but kit didn’t say what they’ll be talking about.

He just needs to trust Patton he supposes.

So he stands at the bar thinking about drinks and buying Patton some time, he sighs again.

“Hey pretty boy” a stranger says sliding in next to Roman, uncomfortably close may he add.

He takes a step to the side to get some distance between them but answers the person out of politeness “hello there.”

“Aw, no complement for me?” the guy says shifting closer.

“I don’t know you” Roman simply answers.

“Why does that matter?” He says cockily and tucks a strand of Roman’s hair behind his ear, Roman recoils at the touch.

“Can you maybe not touch me” he says.

“Oh don’t be so touchy” the guy says and takes Roman’s hand “dance with me.”

“What part of this interaction makes you think I’d want to dance with you?” he asks and tries to take his hand away but the guy tugs on him to get him to follow, Roman digs his heels in “I don’t want to dance with you dude.”

And before the guy can retort a fist flies into his face and he stumbles into a bar stool, Roman backs up in shock and trails his eyes over to Remus who has the most murderous glint in his eyes.

“He said he didn’t want to go with you” he snarls out.

He can’t stop staring at Remus, his heart feels like it’s going too fast, Remus looks to him and they lock eyes.

Remus still looks angry but when he talks it’s soft “are you okay?”

“You’re beautiful” he whispers.

Remus’ eyes widen, a blush erupts on his face and he freezes “what?”

“What!?” Roman chokes out; oh god he said that out loud.

Remus’ eyes move around like he’s deep in thought then he steels himself and offers his hand to Roman “do you trust me?”

Roman can’t help but to laugh a little at that but he goes along with the bit “what?” he asks.

Remus smirks “do you trust me?”

Roman takes his hand “of course I do you doofus.”

He takes Remus’ hand and then he’s led outside and towards Remus’ bike.

“Remus, we can’t drive we’ve been drinking.”

Remus shakes his head “no, you’ve drank I’ve been drinking soda.”

“What?” He feels like he’s asked that too much tonight.

Remus winks at him “I don’t drink anymore man.”

“Oh” he says dumbly, he feels like he should have known that.

He hands Roman a helmet and mounts his bike while putting on his own helmet “make sure to hang on tight” he advises as Roman hops on the bike as well.

Remus revs the engine and shoots out of the drive way, Roman yelps at the sudden movement and wraps his arms around Remus tightly.

He lets himself snuggle into Remus’ back and squeeze him; his face is burning up but it’s not like Remus can see him right now, but he can see Remus’ face and he can see the soft blush and smile that’s there.

The ride is not long and Roman looks around at their surroundings for the first time, they’re turning into a dirt road in a forest the road winds up and they keep to the path for a little bit before Remus turns to an off trail that you wouldn’t have noticed at first glance.

Where are they going?

After a few minutes they come through a parting of trees and they’re overlooking their small town.

The bikes engine stops and they get off.

“Wow” Roman breathes “this is a great place” he turns to Remus “how often do you come here?”

“Often” Remus says and plops himself on the grass “I like coming up here to think or let out frustrations, it’s secluded and I sometimes sleep up here if I need to not be cramped up at home.”

Roman sits next to him “well, it’s very pretty up here.”

“Yeah” Remus says and looks at Roman, Roman in turn lets himself look into the poisonous green of Remus’ eyes and they smile at each other.

“I” Remus starts, he seems unsure of what he wants to say, which is unusual for him “Patton told me to tell you something.”

“Oh did kit?”

He looks away “yeah, and I trust kit but I… Oh fuck it” he says with conviction “I love you, like I’m in love with you and you don’t have to say anything cause I’m pretty sure you feel the same just from clues from tonight but if you’re not ready to actually say anything then I get it I just feel like it should be said by one of us and well I’m the one who’s usually the one who-“

“Remus” Roman says softly and takes his hand “I cannot think of a better place or time for me to tell you that I am utterly in love with you, have been for a while.”

Remus slowly looks towards him, there’s stars in his eyes “seriously?”

“Of course seriously you goof” Roman chuckles.

Remus beams at him and then promptly tackles Roman in a crushing hug “this is gonna fuckin freak out our friends.”

“We can tell them when we’re ready, Patton already knows.”

“I had a feeling” Remus snickers “what do you wanna do now?”

“Right now? I just want to sit here with you.”

“We can do that.”

#sonnywrites #remrom #romrem #creatnativity #remus sanders #roman sanders #aaaaand introducing my new au #punk au #;p

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the-sword-lesbian · 4 years

Text

Broken Hands and Broken Hearts

Kate sat on Maddie’s bed with her arms tightly wrapped around her daughter as she continued to cry her eyes out like she had been doing for the last few hours. She rubbed circles into Maddie’s back trying to calm her down. “There there sweetie. It will be okay.”

Maddie inhaled a huge breath before letting out another massive series sobs. “I don’t understand! What did I do wrong?!”

Kate pushed her daughter off her shoulder for a second, gently wiping tears away with a tissue. “Sweetie you did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. Okay? He’s the one that messed up.”

“But whyyyy?!” she wailed, collapsing on her mother again. “I thought everything was going so well.” She stopped for a second, a realisation suddenly hitting her before she started sobbing heavily again. “We were supposed to have a date tonight!”

Kate started rubbing her back again while gently rocking her. “Maddie it’s going to be okay. I know it hurts now but sometimes relationships don’t work out.” She started gently combing her fingers through her daughter's hair, holding her tight. “You’re only sixteen, okay? You’ve got plenty of time left to meet someone special.”

Slowly Maddie’s crying subsided as she let her mother gently rock her. After a few minutes she spoke again. “I don’t understand Mom.” she mumbled into Kate’s shoulder. “If he didn’t want to be with me why didn’t he just leave? Why did he have to…” she sniffled, trying to hold back her tears. She looked up into Kate’s eyes pleadingly. “Why did he cheat on me Mom?”

She pulled Maddie back into her arms and held her tightly. How do you tell your innocent child how cruel the world can be? How sometimes people are just terrible. Kate figured that was as probably as good a place to start as any. “I wish I had a better answer for you Pumpkin.” She sighed, continuing to rock her daughter. “But the reality is sometimes people are just terrible. Devin wanted something you didn’t feel comfortable giving him so he broke your trust to go get it…”

Maddie was quiet for a long time, Kate almost wondered if she had dozed off from exhaustion. But after a little while she spoke again, and her voice was so quiet and small it nearly broke Kate’s heart. “I could have… I could have given him that…”

Kate was enraged. How dare the world do this to her precious daughter. How dare she get so torn up that she’s willing to throw herself away for some boy that would toss her aside as soon as he got what he wanted. She hauled her daughter up to face her and put her hands on her shoulders turning Maddie to face her. “Madeline stop!” She was so angry at the world she was fighting back tears of her own as she brought her hands up to her daughter's cheeks, brushing away so many tears with her thumbs. “Don’t you dare just give yourself up for some stupid boy! Don’t just throw away that part of yourself because someone else makes you feel like you have to. Okay?!” Kate sniffled, blinking away her tears so she could look her daughter clearly in the eye. “Maddie... I know not everyone thinks sex is important as I do. But regardless of that, regardless of whether it's super important to you or it's just something casual. You should never, ever feel like you have to share that part of yourself with someone else if You. Don’t. Want. To. Okay? It is YOUR choice to share that with someone else when YOU want to. You chose not to have sex with your boyfriend and instead of respecting that he betrayed you. That’s not a failing on your part. It’s your body, you have the ultimate say in what you do with it.”

Maddie just stared at her mother in silence before gently wrapping her arms around Kate’s neck and hugging her. “Thank you Mom.” she said quietly after a few minutes.

Kate just sighed heavily hugging her daughter tighter. “It’s okay sweetie. I’m sorry for my angry mom rant.”

“No it’s okay.” she said leaning back and wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. “You’re right though. I wasn’t ready for that and that wasn’t okay with him...” Her voice wavered a little but she took a second to steady herself before continuing. “If he couldn’t respect that then… he doesn’t deserve me.” she stated. An air of finality to her voice.

Her mom smiled at her before reaching out to hug her again. “I’m so proud of you Maddie.” She then let go and stood up stretching briefly. “Now let’s go start getting dinner ready before Ellie and your mother get home.”

----------

Victoria sat in her car drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, trying to stitch together every ounce of patience she could muster within herself. She was not going to freak out at her daughter. She was going to calmly drive them home and they would have a conversation like adults and not have a screaming match in the car in the middle of afternoon traffic.

“Why are you so pissed at me about this?”

Well so much for that plan. “I am not ‘pissed’ at you.” She stated in the calmest tone she could manage. “I am ‘upset’ because you started a fight with someone and now you’re suspended.”

“I didn’t start a fight!” Giselle snapped back. “I decked my sister’s boyfriend because I caught him cheating on her!”

“Don’t you yell at me young lady!”

“You’re yelling at me!”

“You started thi-” Victoria paused and took a deep breath. No one could ever argue that Giselle wasn’t her daughter. She always knew exactly how to push Victoria’s buttons to start a fight. But not today. Because she needed to have this conversation. And in order to do that she needed to be as level headed as she could. She exhaled the breath she was holding in a long sigh. “I’m not trying to have a fight with you Giselle.”

“But why are you upset at me?” She asked frustrated. “I get being suspended, but am I not supposed to defend Maddie’s honor in this situation??”

“That’s not the problem.” Victoria snapped, voice rising again

“Then what is the problem?!” Giselle shouted again.

“The problem is you can’t just fucking hit people like that!” Victoria mentally kicked herself for swearing, she was trying to be better about that but her daughter was being so combative and this was becoming a lot harder than it needed to be.

Giselle was somewhat caught off guard by hearing her mother swear like that in the middle of a fight but she recovered quickly. “Well why the hell not!?”

“Because!-” Victoria took another breath trying to calm down while she merged onto the exit ramp. “Because, look where that’s got you. You’ve been suspended, you almost got expelled, and your hand is broken so now you have to sit out of every game for the rest of the season.”

The dark haired girl looked down at the cast on her left hand sulking. She had to admit that missing the rest of the season sucked. But standing up for her sister? “Yeah well… It was worth it.”

Victoria swallowed. That was really the last thing she wanted to hear. She tried to steady herself “Please don’t say that.” Her voice sounded so hollow.

Her daughter looked up at her, still disgruntled. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you getting the idea that it's okay to hurt people just because you think the stakes are enough in your favor!” Victoria was falling apart.

“Why not!!”

“Because I don’t want you to turn into me!!!”

That stunned her daughter long enough for Victoria to pull off the road and into the first space she could find. Throwing the car into park she covered her face with her hands and tried to steady her breathing as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Giselle reached out to touch her mother, her anger completely gone and replaced with sudden concern. “Mama?”

“Ellie…” Victoria pulled her hands away from her face and turned to look at her daughter. Those hazel eyes. Just like Kate’s. Somehow that thought made all of this worse. She took a deep breath and tried to continue. “Ellie I don’t want you to think it's okay to hurt people just because they make you angry. Okay? I don’t want you to lash out at someone you think has wronged you. It doesn’t do any good.” Then her voice broke when she said, “I don’t want you turning into a bully because you think the tradeoff is worth it…”

“Mama… I’m not go-”

“Stop. Ellie let me finish okay?” Giselle closed her mouth and Victoria turned to face forward, hands tight on the steering wheel before continuing. “I was horrible when I was your age okay? I was angry at my parents my whole life and I took it out on everyone else around me. Including Ka-” she choked on her words, taking a moment to steady herself. “Especially… Kate… I just saw this beautiful innocent girl and I was so angry and still in the closet and I didn’t understand all this crap inside of me so I just destroyed her instead.” Victoria dropped her forehead to the steering wheel and cried for a moment while Giselle looked on in silence. After a minute she turned to look at her daughter again “Ellie I need you to understand, I wasn’t just A bully I was THE bully. Your mother’s kids book about bullies? That’s about ME! I was a monster! I am the reason tha-...” She paused for a second, trying to steady herself long enough to make it through this conversation. “I am the reason that your mother almost didn’t survive high school…”

Giselle sat there shocked. Trying to mentally match up the monster her mother was describing with the loving mom Victoria has been to her for her entire life.

After a moment Victoria continued “I carry the guilt of how I treated her and everyone else with me every single day. And my biggest nightmare is to wake up one day and see that you’ve become me all over again. Because then it will be clear that I’ve truly failed you as a mother.”

“Mama…” Giselle wasn’t exactly sure when she’d started crying as well but she looked at her loving mom sitting across from her, soul bared. And she clicked her seatbelt loose reaching up to wrap her arms around her. “It’s okay Mama. I’m sorry.”

Victoria held her daughter in her arms as tightly as she could. “I’m sorry I shouted at you Ellie.”

“I’m sorry I started a fight with you.” Her daughter said, pulling back and leaning against the car door. “And I’m sorry I got suspended.”

Her mother sighed as she leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. “I’m honestly trying so hard to be the responsible parent right now and not just high five you for punching that fucking prick.”

Giselle chuckled at that. “Swear jar.” she said, smirking.

“Yeah yeah.” Victoria sighed. “Don’t tell your mom, I’ll put a ten in when she isn’t looking.”

“Sooo…” the teen started, running her hands in her short dark hair.

Victoria rolled her head to the side, opening her eyes to look at her daughter. “Hmm?”

Giselle looked up at her mom sheepishly, “Grounded?”

She closed her eyes and turned her head back. “Oh you are so grounded.”

“Yeah I figured.” She said sliding back into her seat. After a moment she spoke up again. “Thanks by the way. For telling me all of that. I know it was probably really hard. And you’re not a monster… You’re actually a really great mom. And I’ll try to be a better daughter.

Her mother turned and smiled at her, reaching out to ruffle her hair she said “You’re a pretty great daughter.”

“Love you Mama.”

“Love you too Ellie.”

----------

Maddie stood at the stove next to her mother, staring into the pot she was supposed to be stirring. Trying to find some sort of answer to her problems in the pasta water boiling in front of her.

Kate nudged her out of her thoughts. “Sweetie that’s going to boil over if you’re not careful.”

She shook her head before reaching up to stir the pot. “Sorry Mom,” she sighed.

Her mother nudged her again. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Maddie sighed again. “I’m just. Trying to figure out how to break up with Devin.” she looked up at her mother. “Any thoughts?”

Kate shrugged at that. “Sorry pumpkin. You’d have more luck asking your mother. She’s literally the only relationship I’ve ever had so I don’t have a lot of experience with breaking up with someone.” She turned her head at the sound of a car door closing. “Speaking of your mother…”

Giselle pushed the door from the garage open holding it for her mother before trudging through the mudroom into the kitchen. Upon entering she was nearly knocked to the floor as she was tackle-hugged by her sister. After regaining her balance she smiled returning the hug and reaching up to brush the smaller girl’s hair back. “Hey Mads. Are you doing okay?”

Maddie nodded, head buried in her sister’s chest. “Is your hand okay?”

She shrugged. “It’ll be alright. This cast is annoying though.”

“Sorry you got suspended for punching my stupid boyfriend.” Maddie mumbled into her sister’s shirt.

Ellie sighed, she thought back to her conversation with her mom a little while ago. “Yeah well… It’s my own fault. Probably should have just yelled at him honestly.”

Victoria pat her daughter on the back as she shuffled by her, heading towards Kate.

Kate stopped cooking for a second to reach up and hug her wife, resting Tori’s head on her shoulder and gently combing through her hair. “Hey there.”

Victoria hugged her wife tighter, sighing, “Being a parent is hard.”

Kate chuckled at her. “Oh Tori please don’t tell me you’re just figuring that out now.”

The tall blonde just stayed there with her arms wrapped around her wife, mumbling into her shoulder. “No… Just a rough talk with Ellie.” She leaned up to look into Kate’s eyes. “I told her about Blackwell.”

“Oh honey.” Kate gently cupped Tori’s face in her hands, standing on her toes to press their lips together. “Are you okay?” She asked after a minute.

“Yeah…” she sighed. “Is it alright with you if I have a glass of wine?”

Kate smiled warmly at her. “That’s fine. You chill here and I’ll go get it for you.” She turned to her daughter “Ellie can you come stir this sauce while I help your mother out?”

The dark-haired girl just held her left hand up gesturing to the cast. “Uhh…”

Her mother put her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Giselle, you’re the captain of the JV rugby team I’m confident that you’re more than capable of stirring a pot right-handed.”

As Kate walked off to pour a glass Victoria went to set her purse down when she felt her other daughter wrap her arms around her middle. “Hi to you too Maddie.”

“Thank you for not being too mad at Ellie Mama.” she said from behind her mother.

“Yeah well…” Victoria turned around to reciprocate her daughter’s hug. “Sorry your boyfriend turned out to be an asshole.”

“Swear jar!” Kate called from the pantry.

“It’s okay.” Maddie sighed. “I’m only sixteen, I’ve got plenty of time to meet a nice guy.”

“Honey I wish I had your level of positivity at your age.” she said reaching for the glass Kate was handing her as Maddie released her hold.

“Hey Mads, your pasta’s about to boil over.” Ellie called out from the stove.

“Oh shoot!” Maddie said running back over to salvage her spaghetti. “Sooo…” she started after getting her cooking under control. “Does this mean Ellie is grounded?”

“Oh yeah.” Victoria said, taking a sip from her glass. “She’s definitely grounded.”

Maddie heard her sister sigh beside her. “For how long?” she asked, chewing her lip.

“Until the cast comes off.”

Everyone, Victoria included, turned to look at Kate in shock, talking over each other.

“What?!”

“Mom! No way!”

“Katie isn’t that a bit harsh?”

Kate looked at her daughter with a calm but serious expression. “Giselle I understand that you may have had noble intentions but what you did was still very bad. You acted rashly and now you’re injured, and you very nearly got expelled. I know this seems like I’m being unreasonable, but this is a very serious lesson I want to make sure that you learn.”

Ellie just looked at her mother in silence before staring down at her feet, eyes watering. “I understand.” Her voice was shaky.

“That being said…” Kate paused long enough to ensure both her daughters were paying attention. “You can still go to New York for your birthday.”

Both girls ran up to hug their mother, Ellie muttering quiet “thank yous”

Kate freed herself enough to look at both her daughters before continuing. “You guys have been planning this for months and even though I want you to learn your lesson I’m not going to take your birthday present away from you. I’m also not going to let your sister fly across the country by herself for two weeks just because you did something dumb for her sake.”

The girls wrapped their arms around their mother again. Victoria coming up behind them to join in the family hug.

“Love you Mom” Ellie said quietly.”

“Love you too.” Kate replied, smiling at her wife over her daughters. “All three of you.”

#life is strange #lis #chasemarsh #Kate marsh #victoria chase #chasemarsh family #there is so much angst here I am so sorry #fanfic #The Family Chase

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inspirationdivine · 4 years

Text

The Piano, Revisited || Simon and Lydia

Timing: Current Parties: @inspirationdivine, @inconvenientsimonstrocity Summary: It’s never just about a piano, or a dog.

Simon had to make several conscientious efforts to not go out of his way to make the place look unnaturally immaculate though he did the very best he could with what he was given - the couch was still worn but it now sat against the far wall next to the doorway that led to his bedroom. One could no longer tell there were birds in the house as every downy feather had been collected and discarded, his old television set having been disposed of and replaced with a small but superior one that was placed opposite the couch, next to the front door. His kitchen still needed to be remodeled but at least it was clean now with functional utilities. The beautiful piano Lydia had given him admired the sun coming through the fixed window that faced the wall entirely made of bookshelf. He himself sat at that piano patiently as he waited for his guest to arrive, learning a new melody from a random piano book he bought during his outing for supplies for his dog and pausing every now and then to collect the ball Beans brought him with obvious excitement, throwing it as far as it could go - he usually aimed under his bed as that encourage Beans to burrow. All things considered, given what happened last week, he was determined for this to be a light visit. The only thing keeping it from being perfect (aside from things he couldn’t control) was his near-constant sniffling.

Even when she wasn’t being petulant about the state of affairs, Lydia wasn’t… thrilled with the outer appears of Simon’s home. Rustic was a generous word, but one that local hipsters might have used, but Lydia wouldn’t have. If it hadn’t been for the man who lived here, she wouldn’t have given the place a second look. There was a bounce in her step as she walked up to his door, a gentle thrill. There had been a most welcome gap in her life in his absence, but it was still a gap. She’d grown accustomed to his gentle ways. Not immediately spotting a doorbell, Lydia gave a gentle knock. Well, it made sense that there wasn’t the sound of a doorbell because Simon took that bad boy out as soon as he moved in - that was high up on his priority list given his own… sensitivities. Both of them heard the knock almost simultaneously and Beans, not quite trained yet that knocking on the door did not constitute yelling at it, excitedly bounced around and yapped. Simon, who had trouble containing a smile in spite of the dog’s less-than-stellar behaviour, gently shushed his new companion and went to the door to open it for his old one; forcibly bonded once, now separated only from that invisible tether. He felt his heart flutter at the aspect of seeing her again though he still couldn’t figure out why. Scooping up the white terrier and holding him in one strengthened arm, he swung open the door. “Hey, Lydia,” He breathed, his smile widening for her; it hadn’t been that long but he felt an uncharacteristic longing to just… be near her again. “Er… come in,” He stepped aside to give her room, still holding the dog as he squirmed with… such excitement. SO EXCITED.

Despite, in theory, knowing that there was a dog there, Lydia still startled at the sound of excited yapping behind the door, although she’d smoothed her face by the time Simon had opened the door. His smile was a mile wide, and she smiled in return, in a lopsided smirking way. “Hello Simon,” she replied, before turning her gaze to the fluffy white dog in his arm, snuffling at her curiously. She offered her hand, gently curled, for the pup to sniff. She’d never had a pet in her life that didn’t answer back, but Lydia understood the simple, sweet pleasure of dogs. After a long, curious sniff and a quick lick of her knuckles, she seemed to have just enough of Bean’s approval to deserve a small pet. Lydia stepped inside, her glamour unfurling around her like sepals around a flower as the door was closed behind the two of them. “Wow,” Lydia said softly, looking around the space, transformed completely in the week since Simon had been back. Lydia turned to compliment him, but only then noticed the puffy red around his eyes. “Simon? Is everything alright? Have you been crying?” Once the door was closed, Simon carefully set Beans down where the dog proceeded to zoom around the house, passing by Lydia and stopping every time to sniff at her briefly as though every time was the first before rushing off again. Simon found it easier to keep his gaze on the animal than other people, even ones he knew like Lydia or Ariana but he managed to put his eyes on Lydia’s natural state once more, having since grown used to her ethereal beauty. His smile, though not dissipating, did falter ever-so-slightly when she asked about what he had been doing. He thought, for a moment, about telling her that he had been - every other wolf in their makeshift pack had been through an ordeal in some form or another, each one only bothering to tell him when he reached out… it wasn’t about him, it never was and that was fine but he felt like he worked really hard to maintain communication and, ironically, it always seemed to fall on deaf ears. He would’ve been lying. “No. Er, I mean-- yes, everything’s fine, relatively speaking” He stuttered out an answer, deciding to dodge it altogether though the mention subconsciously made him reach up to rub at one of his eyes with the heel of a hand as though that would fix it - but really, his eyes just itched. All the time. “Sorry.” And there came the first apology. “It’s really nothing.” He dismissed and looked away from her, motioning about the house. “I, uh… did some rearranging.”

Lydia crossed her arms, raising one sharp eyebrow. “Simon, I don’t believe you.” Relatively speaking meant that anything could be true. Relative to being dead, relative to being actively tortured. It wasn’t a lie, so it didn’t heat up any rage simmering inside her, but that didn’t make it true. He rubbed at his eye and perhaps without noticing, sniffled. She looked down to the dog, sniffing at her ankles, perhaps for all the solvent scents and human lingering on her. The dog tilted its head, as if listening for something, but then darted off to try to get off and under the couch. “My dear, your eyes are red. You don’t look well. If it’s really nothing, is it drugs? Are you unwell?” She wasn’t taking the bait. Well, it wasn’t even bait, it was just a distraction from himself, again, as usual. Even when Simon was at work, he kept his eyes on his hands in the bathroom due to lingering neglect for how he looked but she wasn’t the first person in the past couple weeks to say the phrase ‘you don’t look well’. Frankly, part of him didn’t understand; he didn’t think he ever looked particularly well between his wrecked diet and lack of good sleep. How far into denial was he willing to wade, was his new question. “It’s not… drugs,” He replied first, taking a step back and looking at the floor, his smile now only half-present and half-hearted. If anything, it was the LACK of drugs - nasal spray had been a bust, and he’d be ashamed if someone saw the veritable collection of different bottles he’d acquired and stored in one of his cabinets, none of which were prescriptions and all of them were at varying levels of empty; for the record, he DID take a… generous dose of… he couldn’t be arsed with remembering which one it was, anymore. Suffice it to say, his empty stomach didn’t agree with it. Maybe he should be honest; after all, it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s just alle-- uhm… Rhinitis,” He cut himself off with a harsh clear of his throat as if the word was uncomfortable in his mouth. Whyyyy did he say that. He rubbed his eyes again followed by his pointed nose and his nervous tic called his hand to the gnarled scars on his shoulder where he started to scratch at them. “Can I, er… get you anything to drink?” Take three. He wanted to move, he HAD to move but he found himself stuck in place as he was being scrutinised by Lydia, almost as if some part of him deep down was desperate to be confronted. He didn’t want that… did he?

“Don’t lie to me,” Lydia replied curtly, her eyes narrowed, her lips pursed. “You don’t have to tell me, but do not lie. I can’t stand it.” She huffed, turning her scrutinising gaze to the dog, the worn couch, anywhere but him. Of course he had secrets, she did too, and their time of sharing so much didn’t mean they had to share now. She’d crunched her teeth together without even noticing it, her wings shifting under the shells of her elytra. The piano was there, open and in use, but Lydia was no longer so excited to see it. Clearly, she had misjudged, inviting herself into a space Simon didn’t really want her. She’d never loved talking on the internet, it was so hard to judge, and he was the type to not ask for anything he wanted unless she pushed it on him. He was also the type to never say no if she pushed something on him. “You can get me whatever you want, but I don’t drink.” Lydia replied, perhaps a little too sharply fae for the man she knew was only barely wolf.

"Lydia, I am terribly allergic to dogs." The sentence rumbled out of Simon’s mouth in a growl accompanied with the loud sound of ripping fabric before he had a chance to stop it and the millisecond the sentence ended, he brought a hand to his mouth similarly to how he did when he raised his voice to Nora. Her body language hadn't gone unnoticed by him as he felt her presence change; he upset her. "I-I'm sorry," he apologised quietly, feeling that his breathing grew erratic, the familiar sense of being confronted making him panic. Did HE want that or… Did the other one want it? "I shouldn't have snapped." He could say all he wanted in the way of apologies but he already snapped and it was his turn to avoid looking at her, glancing at the dog that had tilted his head at the noise and now pranced over to Simon as if smelling something very interesting to him. "I remember you don't drink." he gave a liquid sniffle and he pulled out a half-empty packet of tissues. "I wasn't lying, either, " he added just as quietly. "Rhinitis is scientific terminology. ‘Perennial Allergic Rhinitis’ is the full name." He didn't know why he added that but since he was already wearing on her nerves, he might as well go all the way.

Lydia took a step back when he growled at her, and fabric ripped around him. His trousers hung on his hips strangely as he backed up, and from one moment from being a towering pillar, he suddenly looked as small as she was, shrinking in on himself like a flower at night. She watched the way his long, wiry fingers dug into his pocket uncertainly, sniffling again, and his eyes looked like they might water. She swallowed, her ice blue eyes softening to brown glamours for a moment. Guilty. That was the name of this particular feeling. "Simon, I think this time I should say sorry, for accusing you of lying. You don't need to apologise for snapping, either. I was in the wrong. But…" Lydia hesitated for a second, looking back to Beans. "Simon, why did you adopt a dog if you're allergic? Why try to hide that?" It wasn’t Simon’s intention at all to scare her or even to get her to apologise; if he had just been honest with her in the first place, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. If he were honest with HIMSELF, it wouldn’t have happened. The way she said his name seemed to calm him down, though he wasn’t sure why. He gulped and kept his head low, his brow furrowing. “Because… Deirdre couldn’t keep him,” He started; that was the reason for taking the dog. “And… I just--” He wiped his eyes with the tissue, feeling emotional tears starting to well and mix with the allergic ones that spiked his eyes as he forced himself to answer the rest. “This dog is the first creature I’ve ever interacted with that seems… happy to see me.” His voice wavered. “He doesn’t talk about me behind my back. He’s always excited to spend time with me, he looks forward to when I come home… He trusts in me, depends on me.” He wanted to stop everything; stop talking, stop being on the verge of crying, stop itching and sneezing and thinking, just stop. But he didn’t; couldn’t. “He makes me feel like I’m needed.” Every tear he wiped away on his face was replaced with a new one as he kept his gaze on Beans. “No one’s ever made me feel like that before.” He said with a timid certainty, even as he talked to Lydia because he knew she certainly didn’t need him. No one in what they called a “wolf pack” did, no other people he called friends in town did… “He makes me feel like I’m not so... alone.” Once he was done with his confession, he coughed out a broken laugh and blew his nose. “Sorry… ‘me me me’. I’m being selfish.” He gave a watery smile as he kept trying to clean up his face. “You weren’t in the wrong.”

Her hands curled over his. Lydia had stood still, listening to him as everything he’d hid fell out through crumbling walls. She’d taken in his tears, the way his head ducked and his chin trembled. At the end of all this, it was all she could really do, taking his hand in hers.Lydia opened her mouth, once, twice, and swallowed herself. There was a crease between her brows as she looked at him. Really looked at him, beyond the stickiness and the job and the musical skill. “Yes, You, you, you. I imagine that’s more you’ve said about Simon Donovan than you have all year. You don’t sound selfish, my love, you sound like you’re in need of someone to listen. Well, that and more tissues.” Lydia swallowed, and tugged him, gently, toward the couch. She thought of the message from Ariana, implying that they were wolves together. She thought of Regan, cordial at best. Nora, who was currently without name but had been taking care of Simon’s home. How she’d left when he’d snapped at her. “Simon, it’s okay to talk about things when you’re upset. I know… I’m not exactly approachable, but you can talk to me. It’s okay.” Simon felt her hands on his, how strange it felt but how it was something gentle against his white knuckles from how tightly they had balled. That was perhaps the first time someone who wasn’t in the process of hiring him had said his whole name and he gave another small laugh at her mentioning needing more tissues; she certainly wasn’t wrong with the mess he must’ve looked. He easily allowed himself to be led to the couch by her, feeling for a moment as heavy as the pressure was evident in his sinuses but the second he started to actually sit down, he felt a sharp pain as though someone had tried to pull on a limb so hard as to dislocate it. He felt his pelvis jerk forward to distance himself from the couch and felt something unfurl behind him, which gave him the okay to actually sit down this time as a long, thin, scraggly tail, very deep brown in colour, rested on the cushion next to him - and one he hadn’t paid ANY mind to and had no idea was there. They hadn’t sat for very long when Beans welcomed himself into Simon’s lap and tried as he did to get his tongue to connect to Simon’s face, the werewolf managed to keep the excited dog at bay gently. He listened to everything Lydia said carefully and though she said it was okay several times, he was having immense difficulty justifying his confession, hating that he put her on the spot like that. “It’s not right of me to put that burden on you,” He said, his voice scratching through the congestion and the buildup in his throat from crying. He cleared it and licked his bottom lip in thought, keeping his head down but looking at Lydia tentatively. “I’m not-- I shouldn’t be upset. I have nothing to be upset about,” He exhaled. He was silent for a long moment. “S… Thank you, Lydia.” His tone was… his. “For, uh… tolerating my childishness.” The timid smile that lingered on his face crept back on shyly. “You came to hear the piano, not to entertain my emotional outburst.”

Simon may not have paid any attention to the long tail he had suddenly sprouted, but Lydia sure did, eyeing it with concern for a long moment before looking back up at him. It wasn’t nearly sunset, nor near the full moon, so surely it was fine, right? Not a problem. She was interrupted by the little white fluff ball jumping onto Simon’s lap, clambering all over him. Lydia huffed a small laugh at Beans, but returned her keen eyes back to Simon himself, as he finally began to talk. “That’s funny,” she replied, her eyebrows raised. “It sounded like you had a lot to be upset about.” She leant back a little, against the back of the couch, and slowly put her hand on his shoulder. Slid it across his back. “Well, yes, I did come for one and not the other, but I also came for the pleasure of your company, Simon. All of your company, not just one convenient facet of it which suits my nebulous desires. If you don’t want to dwell, then we shan’t. Just don’t dismiss yourself for my comfort.” Simon hesitated to respond at first and only felt himself relaxing subconsciously when she put her hand on his shoulder, moving it to his back and he closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted to stretch into her hand like, well, a dog nosing into the palm of their human to pet them some more but he refrained and took the simple gesture as it came; sweet, gentle, her connecting with him this time. “I, uh… enjoy your company, too,” He replied, opening his eyes again. He was still being honest and he didn’t even mean it in an intimate way; he just liked being around others. He always liked that. “I think I’m okay,” He responded after another pause. He gave her another smile. “Thanks again for--” And he suddenly stopped, his head tilting sharply as he heard what sounded like a rhythmic thumping next to him. He glanced down and almost jumped up from surprise when he saw the-- HIS tail wagging beside his leg. Was that his? Why did it look like that? WHY WAS IT HERE? He had some questions but not as immediately as the gasp that got caught in his throat pricked into his nose and he jerked his head sharply away from Lydia and the dog that had since lounged on his lap to sneeze. Twice. Three times. Four-- nope, only three. “Sorry,” He gasped, using a new tissue this time as Beans glanced up as if to ask what was going on and why his bed was suddenly spasming. “Th.. uh. This is new,” He remarked with a sniffle, pointing to the tail that stopped wagging. “I’m… sorry, that’s-- this is-- yes, I’d rather just… play the piano for you.” He concluded lamely.

“All right, my love,” Lydia said softly, patting his back before she carefully let him go, hand and back at once. She wouldn’t pry further, not when she’d caused this most recent bout of distress. He said he was okay, and she believed- Simon startled away from her as he noticed his own tail, and Lydia sat back to give him space as his whole body tensed. Was he about to shift? No, merely sneeze. “Indeed it is. Simon, darling, are you allergic to… yourself?” She asked curiously, and then nodded. “I’d love to hear you play.” For all intents and purposes, tail and ruined jeans aside, Simon did feel better. He dwelled in his thoughts often because he was the only person he had to share them with but even sharing them with Lydia accidentally relieved some of the pressure he had been feeling for several weeks now. And even if it was psychosomatic, that she had been lying through her pearly teeth, she told him that he could talk to her or at least mention when something was upsetting him. He still had trouble grasping the concept that it was okay for something to bother him to the effect that he should tell someone what it was but he attributed that unnecessary stubbornness to his not having anyone to talk to except for his parents for the duration of his life and it was something not worth discussing today after he had already accidentally broke down in front of her. He gave a couple pats to Beans’ hindquarters and the dog stood up in his lap, stretching for a moment before hopping down and he stood up shortly after, tail swaying down to rest behind him - that explained why his pants suddenly felt weird. He didn’t know he’d have THAT to look forward to. He… needed new clothes, anyway. “.... . Unfortunately, I am.” He hesitated, as usual, before answering her, finding that that was almost the most embarrassing thing he could’ve admitted. Despite not liking attention, it was hard to actually embarrass him - a lot of things rolled off his back but that one just… it irritated him mentally and literally. “It’s not usually that bad but I think--” He sneezed again. “The dog is exacerbating matters.”

Lydia tried quite hard to resist the smile that crept up across her face at his admission, so much more shyly admitted. She could almost see him flushing, Lydia thought. “Well that is rather ironic, I must say, and unfortunate. With or without the dog” Not quite as unfortunate as the gaping hole in his trousers, which was rather hard not to look at. The tear was much, much more bizarre than the tail that had caused it - fae had all sorts of anatomical peculiarities relative to many other species, and each was more beautiful than a plain human form. His discomfort was inescapable, but with time perhaps he’d adjust. Lydia trod carefully as Beans tried to follow them over to the piano, twisting in between their legs - in particular Simon’s - and smiled warmly at his set up. Her eyes drifted along the spines of the bookcase, all the sheet music he’d collected over the years. She’d been right to choose for him a piano with brown wood, not black, it would have stood uncomfortably in his home, whereas this fit in with everything else. “So what will you play?” Her patience with him was insurmountable, something Simon was sure to retain as far into the future as his memory would allow. His reddened gaze followed her astutely as she moved with her grace, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he noticed her active care in avoiding Beans, who was probably being a challenge by getting right in the way of where one’s feet should go. It was unfortunate, wasn’t it. He was unfortunate. He had snapped at people, not been available to help them with their problems, offered kind words but nothing else in the way of actually being assisting. He was infected with a parasite that disagreed with his genetic makeup; he was a right mess to look at and deal with, doubly so since the introduction of the dog, which she now knew why he clung to Beans so adamantly. His misery was worth every second so long as he had something… someone to spend his time with. He felt a weight, small but sharp, lifted off of him now that Lydia was sufficiently ‘up to speed’, at least in terms that immediately mattered. “I was thinking of Chopin this time,” He suggested, going over to the piano and sitting on the seat, lifting his tail as though it were the tailcoat on an expensive suit to drape over the back. He was not about to think about how long that would be out or what he’d do to hide it, not right now. Right now, he wasn’t lonely. Not with her and his dog near him to tolerate him, pretend to care, listen. As he rested his fingers on the keys and sifted through his mental library for the right song, he felt a sensation through him gently and a rhythm behind him, feeling the soft brushes of air that a wagging tail dispensed.

#wickedswriting #para #chatzy #simon #some bittersweet feelings on your timeline

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silly-nonny-fics-are-for-fandoms · 4 years

Text

Impossible Happiness

Note: This is a gift fic for @angiezstuff! This is the last of the gift fics so I had to go big or go home, so this one is about 5.5k words! It’s based on the Jaystosuh AU with a little baby Gavin so hopefully you’ll like it.

Small TW bullying, and TW for stuff at the end. Nothing graphic but there is some sorta dark stuff, which is mostly angst and not that bad.

Gift fic 3/3, Jaystosuh.

Summary: Gavin was known at school as the weird kid. Maybe it was his blue hair, maybe it was because he was really smart for only being six years old. Or maybe it was because he had three caretakers and none of them were female. He didn't know. What he did know was that if his family knew, they would be very upset, and they had enough to deal with without knowing that their little bear cub got hit in class.

Read on Ao3 or keep reading

Gavin was a good kid, by all accounts. Of course, he had a very unorthodox life, but he never minded. He loved his family. Sure, his brother and his brother's boyfriends being his parents was something that most people didn't understand, but that was life for him. They loved him, he loved them, and his life was fun! Hosuh always did his best to make sure he had what he needed, Jay always helped him with his schoolwork, making sure as well that he didn't do anything too dangerous even though he really wanted to, while Stephen was tons of fun.

He didn't know why he lived with them, but he knew that an older woman came to visit them once a week. He didn't know her name, nor did he know what the reason for her visits were, but he knew she always talked to the 'adults' and never wanted to talk to him. He'd overheard, once, something about an orphanage, and came to a realization.

If he was a bad kid, the woman would take him away. He didn't want to go away. The other kids at school, the older kids, always called him weird and other names, one even kicked him, but he never hit them back! Hosuh always told him that he should not hit other kids! Stephen and Jay said something about an ash haul, but Gavin didn't understand what they meant.

"Gavin?" Hosuh asked, one morning after the woman left, "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Okay..." Gavin mumbled, staring down at the ground. Had he been bad? He followed the rules, he'd did his schoolwork, he could almost neatly! He could count to a hundred by tens or twenties, do addition and subtraction, he was the best reader in his class, he'd done everything his teachers asked, why did Hosuh look so serious?

Why did Jay and Stephen look so mad? Were they mad at him? Tears came to his eyes, and he began sniffling, face red.

"A-Am I in trouble?" He asked, staring up at his caretakers as he climbed onto one of the big kid chairs, "Did I do bad?"

"What? No, no. Little cub, you didn't do anything wrong." Hosuh said, helping the little six-year-old into the chair before he knocked it over, "We need to talk about school, that's all."

Gavin always loved it when they called him their little cub. He had a onesie, a bear, which used to be white until a laundry incident happened, thanks to Stephen, and the white onesie turned blue. He was their bluebear. Hosuh was their bunny. Jay was their fox. Stephen was a cat. He really liked when they gave in to his begging and all wore onesies with him. Those were the nights when they built pillow forts in the living room, watched movies, and all fall asleep in one big cuddle pile.

It didn't look like one of those days. Ever since school started again, those days had gotten lesser and lesser, since they all needed to do schoolwork all the time. Gavin liked the weekends, they did their shopping on the weekends, they took him to the park on weekends and he wasn't stuck in their house. Though, running through the woods and playing in the mud, pretending to be a prince slaying a dragon was always fun. He liked the mud too.

"Why about school?" Gavin asked, looking around the table. Jay looked scary, biting his lip and glaring at the table, while Stephen's hands shook in clenched fists on the surface. Hosuh had his normal, soft smile, but Gavin knew the look in his eyes. Sadness. Worry.

"Gavin, do you know Ms. Alice?" Hosuh asked, "The woman who comes to visit us every week?"

"You mean the scary lady who wants to take me away?"

Jay and Stephen's heads snapped up, eyes wide as they stared at the child. What did he just say? Why would she want to take him away?

"Why do you think she wants to take you away?" Hosuh asked then, raising his hand to keep his boyfriends from yelling. Gavin squirmed under their gaze, trying not to cry even more than he already was.

"Sh-She said somethn bout an orphanage. I don't wanna go away..."

"Gavin, you're not gonna be taken away!" Stephen exclaimed, reaching out for his brother's hand. "If someone tried to take you away, they'd have to go through me first."

"Hey, don't forget me!" Jay interrupted, "No way are we giving our cub away."

"Mhm, but that's not this conversation."

"Con... Conversition?"

"Conversation, Gavin. It means to talk with someone," Stephen said, giving Gavin's hand a little squeeze.

"Right. Now, Gavin, We have something to ask you. Are the other kids in your class nice?"

Gavin paused, thinking about the kids in his class. There were a few girls who really liked to make fun of him, ever since parents day last year when he had explained that if Stephen, Hosuh, and Jay took care of him then they were like his dads, though brothers fit better. He was a really bright kid, Mr. Bell always said he should be in the second or third-grade classes, but maybe that made the other kids upset? The other kids liked to tease him, some kids pulled his hair, but he tried not to think about that. There was one kid, a girl who entered the class later in the year named Anne, she liked to play with him. She had a little unicorn plushie which she carried in her backpack, but only Gavin knew about it.

"Mhm. They're nice." Gavin said, after pondering the question for a few minutes. The other kids were nice, they just weren't nice to him.

"Okay... Do they ever call you names? Or hurt you?"

"If they do hurt you, you hit back, right?" Stephen interrupted again, obviously worried for his little brother, "Don't let them push you around!"

They hurt. Their words hurt. They really, really hurt. But the kids who hurt him didn't understand, and he was confused; why didn't they like him? Why did they call him a gay? What even was a gay? They liked to make fun of his family, but he didn't understand why. It hurt when they were mean about his family.

He saw how worried everyone was, how upset they were, and he didn't want to make them more upset. He didn't want them mad at him.

"N-No, uhm. No one hurts me." Gavin lied, staring up at his family, "Why?"

The three teenagers sighed. All tension seemed to leave Jay and Stephen's bodies, while Hosuh just smiled. They were always honest with him, and Gavin knew he'd probably be in trouble for his lie if they ever found out, but he didn't want them to hurt because he was hurting.

"Ms. Alice was told by Mr. Bell that you were crying in class yesterday, so she wanted to know if everything was alright here. She was worried about you being bullied because, uh... How do I put this..."

"Because you have three caretakers." Jay said simply, "And we're all guys. "I'm pretty sure you've realized that isn't normal."

Gavin nodded. He'd never questioned before why he had three caretakers, no 'real' dad or a mom, because that was always how it was. For as long as he could remember, it was just the four of them, with the scary lady showing up every once and a while. And Gavin wasn't going to question that now, when everyone was already upset.

"Can I go now?"

"I dunno, can you?" Stephen asked, smirking as he did. Both of the other teens chuckled softly at the response, the question Stephen always asked whenever Gavin asked if he could do something.

"It's okay, Gavin. You can go play outside. Stephen, go play with him." Jay decided.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Even though he protested, Stephen walked over and motioned for his brother to follow him. He wouldn't give up spending time with his brother for the world, even though he had lots of things to do. One day, he knew Gavin wouldn't want to spend time with him, and he didn't want to let that be his fault. Gavin grinned and ran out of the kitchen to the front door, being careful to open it so he won't get hit in the face, he'd done that one too many times, before running out into the front yard. He missed Hosuh's yell of 'Put your shoes on!', of course, and headed straight to the back yard.

There was a sandbox there, and a big pretty wooden ladder with vines creeping up the side of the house which Gavin liked to climb. It went all the way to the roof, and he hadn't managed to break it yet. So the rule, Gavin knew, was that if Gavin was going to play in the backyard, someone needed to watch him.

So he didn't end up on the roof again.

"Wait up a second, Gavin!" Stephen said, quickly picking up his brother before he could get to the sandbox, "We're putting our shoes on."

"What? Whyyyy?" Gavin whined, looking up at his brother and squirming in his hold. He did not want to be picked up! He wanted to play!

"There's acorns everywhere, do you wanna get your feet stabbed? Absolutely not!"

"But Stephen!"

"Nah, nah nah, don't you 'But, Stephen' me!" Stephen insisted, bringing him back inside and setting the six-year-old on the tile floor. "That's Hosuh bun's territory."

"What did you say, Stephen?" Hosuh's voice called from the kitchen, and the scent of him beginning to fry up some beef cubes for shish-kebabs, their dinner, wafted into the doorway.

"Nothing, Hosuh!"

"He said you say- mff!" Stephen covered Gavin's mouth, chuckling awkwardly to himself.

"Shush, Gavin, or you're gonna get us all in trouble. Do you want Hosuh to get upset?" He asked, and Gavin shook his head. He absolutely did not want Hosuh to get upset. "Good. That was called sarcasm; I didn't mean what I said."

He pulled his hand off Gavin's mouth, grabbing the child's shoes and handing them to him.

"Isn't that lying?" Gavin asked, sitting down before taking his socks out of his shoes. "Jay! Stephen's lyin-"

"I am not lying! I'm trying to teach sarcasm here and- Oh my God bro what the fu-"

"Don't finish that sentence, Stephen! Child!" Jay yelled from the stairs. There was another rule, which Gavin didn't understand, in their house. Sometimes, one of them would begin to say something, starting with sh or fu, and suddenly one of the others would shush them. Gavin sometimes wondered what they were going to say, but the act was often enough that he didn't think anything of it.

"We'll talk about this later, Jay!" Stephen groaned, but as he saw that Gavin finished getting his shoes on and was standing up, ready to run out of the door at the first sign of being allowed to, he decided to be lenient and shutting up about the whole manner. Their earlier conversation had probably put Gavin under a lot of stress, so it would be for the best to let him play. At least he wasn't crying anymore, thank God.

But they had seen a few bruises here and there on Gavin without a good explanation. None of them really believed that Gavin wasn't being bullied, though there was a chance that he just didn't understand what they meant when they asked if he was being mean. They were just kids, trying to raise another kid to the best of their ability, and Stephen was grateful that his boyfriends were willing to help him with his brother. He could never repay them for that kindness.

Sure, there were plenty of adults who were willing to help them; Ms. Alice, in particular, had helped them ever since the incident happened and they had to move in with Jay when Gavin was only two years old. Hosuh moved in two years later.

Stephen smiled as he helped Gavin to build a sandcastle, watching him play in the mud and poke at bugs, even joining in on the fun once his little brother threw a small amount of mud at him. Even as a little melancholy hole opened within his heart.

_________________

The next morning was a lot less serious. Today, they had a short to-do list before school tomorrow, including grocery shopping and a few supplies for one of Gavin's take-home projects. That meant they had to take the car. Gavin liked when they got to take the car, because he got to look as the world zoomed by. It was like the bus, but more fun!

Jay always drove the car, with Stephen in the front seat, and Hosuh always sat next to Gavin. If they were taking the car, that meant they were also probably going to the toy store.

Whenever the three of them had a little extra spending money, they always let Gavin pick out a toy or an activity. With both Stephen and Jay working part-time jobs after school, on top of Jay's family paying for the house and all those bills, it was at least once a month that they could take such a trip.

The toy shop was their first stop, it always was, in the case that Gavin couldn't decide what he wanted. That had been the case over the summer, and their ice cream had melted in the car, which was a nightmare to clean up.

As it was a weekend, the store was moderately busier than usual, with parents being dragged around by their kids. Gavin looked around excitedly, eyes sparkling as he held Hosuh's hand. In public, they all decided it was best for him to stay with Hosuh or Jay, as the chaotic energy the brothers had together was too much for their bank account or sanity to handle. The last time Stephen had watched his brother in one of these stores, it had ended with Gavin climbing one of the shelves and falling from six and a half feet up as Stephen laughed. Not an event any of them were ready to repeat.

Hosuh looked down at Gavin, smiling softly at the child. "Okay, Gavin. Pick one toy that you want, but there's a rule this time." As he spoke, Gavin seemed confused, furrowing his eyebrows in curiosity.

"But why?" He asked, his voice verging on a whine.

"Because, bluebear," Jay sighed, patting his head, "You have a nasty habit of throwing your toys. So the rule is simple; if it's soft, you can get it."

"Hmmm... Okay!" Gavin smiled, "I can go now?"

Hosuh nodded, walking off into the store properly with Gavin. Stephen and Jay stayed back towards the front of the store, with Jay gently taking Stephen's hand in his own.

"You've been awfully quiet. Something wrong?"

"Nah. I'm fine, just tired. You didn't have to study all night for homework."

"Ha! Maybe if you'd done it after getting home from work on Friday, it wouldn't have been so bad. Or you could've asked for help."

"Absolutely not! No way is Stephen asking for help!" The purple-haired teen huffed, walking off towards Hosuh and Gavin who were looking at the stuffed animals. Gavin seemed particularly interested in a giant teddy bear the size of his brother, the perfect size to curl up with next to the couch.

Stephen laughed, pointing at the bear, "Hey! That's bigger than you are, Gavin! You can't even pick it up."

Gavin pouted, "I can! Watch me!"

"Don't goad him, Stephen." Hosuh sighed, watching as the child attempted to grab the bear only to find himself unable to reach it. By a lot. Considering it was on top of the shelf, not even Jay or Stephen would be able to reach it without issue, and Hosuh realized it was probably designed that way to keep kids from grabbing at it.

"I can't get ittt..."

"See? I told you!"

"Hosuhbunny?" Gavin turned to the silver-haired teen and the two teenagers choked on air, drawing the attention of a few other customers. That was the nickname that Stephen called Hosuh whenever he was in a very, very cuddly mood, though it was usually shortened to just the animal title. "Help?"

"I'll go get someone to get it down- Uh, Stephen? Don't let Gavin climb on the shelves again."

"I got this Hosuh, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm awesome."

"Riiiiigght." Hosuh rolled his eyes, exiting the aisle and heading off to find an employee. Stephen sighed, looking down at his little brother, then smiled again.

"C'mon, let's go to the play area." He suggested, and Gavin beamed. There was a little play area at the back of the store for kids to play in while their parents walked around the store, so that they didn't bother them while they shopped or in the case that it was a gift. So Stephen walked with his brother to the play area and sat on one of the few benches they had for adults. The urge to grab for his phone was strong, and he was just a person, who soon found themselves staring at the screen. Every once and a while he glanced up at the group of kids to check on his brother.

The first thing Gavin noticed when they got to the play area was that there were quite a few kids from his class there. Not Anne, of course he wasn't that lucky, but instead there were his main bullies. A girl named Vivian his own age and three boys, the eldest of which he had a large bruise on his stomach from. With dread in his heart, he walked up towards them.

They couldn't hit him, not with the adults watching.

"It's the weirdo," They whispered to the other kids, "He's got three dads! The one with the purple hair is one of them! They're sick!"

"Sick? What? He looks nice..."

"Don't play with him, or you'll get sick too! Then you'll get your mommy sick, and she'll leave!"

Gavin was used to overhearing these kinds of talks. It happened every day in class. He walked over to the toy chest and grabbed a little cat plushie, worn from love and use, then sat down on the carpet. He usually had so much energy, so much want to play, but these kids always stole it from him by their words.

"Look! The weirdo has a kitty! Save it!" Vivian said, pointing at the cat plush, and Gavin held it close. No way! That plushie was his!

The three boys walked over to him, one of them grabbing at the cat.

"Give it!"

"No! It's mine!" Gavin huffed, holding onto it tightly, only to yelp as one of the kids gripped his hair and yanked Another took hold of his wrists and twisted, digging their nails in, causing a searingly stinging sensation across his wrists as he clung to the cat. "Ow! You're hurting me! Stephen!!" He didn't want to hurt them. He didn't want them to hurt him. He didn't want to be bad, he wanted to be good and not hurt anyone.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" He heard his brother say, and Gavin felt them let go. These kids knew better than to hurt him when the adults were looking, and they backed off. "Who the hell taught you that bullying was okay?"

"You're one of the weirdos! The sick ones!" One of the kids exclaimed after realizing who Stephen was. Immediately, they ran off to the other side of the play area, leaving Gavin and Stephen standing there. Gavin had tears streaming down his face, the pain still lingering. He hadn't wanted to be bad, he didn't want to make Stephen upset.

"Woah, Gavin, it's okay," Stephen said, kneeling down and wiping the child's tears. He looked around, seeking any of these children's parents, and saw Jay coming down one of the aisles. "Jay! C'mere!"

Jay was over to them before Gavin knew it, being scooped up into his arms protectively. It helped to stifle his cries, keeping them down so as not to get a noise complaint.

"Stephen, go look for Hosuh, then get their parents. They should be told."

Stephen didn't even bother arguing, instead just giving his brother a kiss on the head and walking up towards the front of the store. He'd expected something like this to happen eventually, if they kept coming out to this area. Of course, he enjoyed seeing his brother having fun, but he hated the looks they got whenever they walked around the mall. Because everyone knew the Ng boys.

He found the parents before he found Hosuh. Literally, bumping into them. A small group of the parents had gathered together at the front of the store, making small talk, while their kids were in the play area. He saw Hosuh talking with one of the employees, who he recognized as someone from their class, and walked up to his boyfriend.

"Oh, Stephen! Do you know-"

"The kids in the play are were bullying Gavin," Stephen interrupted, "They were pulling his hair and made him bleed." He watched as the color drained from both of their faces, horror crossing it.

"Is he okay?" Hosuh asked, his voice filled with worry, "I have bandages in the car but I don't- Who?"

"Jay's taking care of him. Talk to the parents for me so I don't end up screaming at them."

Hosuh nodded, "I got this. Stay with me?" He asked, reaching out to take Stephen's clenched hand in his own. They walked over to the group of parents, and once Hosuh started talking to them, Stephen noticed how they were more focused on him. Once Gavin's name was mentioned, before Hosuh had even brought up the idea of bullying, most of them lost the color in their faces.

Yeah, everyone knew the Ng boys. No, they didn't know them. They knew what happened to them. Stephen would never be able to forget the night which resulted in their current situation, and he was glad that Gavin did not know of the tale from that night. Of course, he'd been too young, barely even a year and a half old. He'd only recently learned to walk before that night.

"Stephen? Stephen?" Hosuh's voice broke through his thoughts, leading him back to the real world. "We need to talk to Gavin."

Stephen only nodded, taking a deep breath to find his voice. He could tell there would be a crash any day now, then he'd be back to normal. All the stress from school, of caring for Gavin, and remembering the sight in the living room- He needed to breathe. Right.

Gavin was still sniffling, hiding his face in Jay's chest. His wrists were lightly bleeding, likely from where one of the kids had dug their nails in, and an employee was explaining what happened to the kids. He couldn't help but overhear what the parents were telling their children, who were saying that he was a sick weirdo because he had three dads.

"No, sweetie, he has a brother. Their parents are dead. Sure, his brother is weird and maybe sick, but he isn't. You're going to apologize on Monday when you see him in class."

Dead? They were dead? He just had always thought he didn't have any. He had Stephen, Jay, and Hosuh. That was what he needed. He was so confused.

He felt himself being carried back out to the car, set in his booster seat, buckled in and he heard the car being locked after the others climbed in.

"Gavin, you said the other kids were nice. Is that... Normal?" Hosuh asked, "For them to be that mean to you?"

With a sniffle, Gavin nodded. "Ye-es..."

"Is it because you have three dads?"

"That's wh-uh-t they say." He felt a soft tissue being pressed against his face, and he quickly blew into the tissue.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Stephen asked, trying not to yell in the car, "We could've done something! We- We could've- We could've helped!"

"Stephe-"

"No, Hosuh, I love you but Stephen's right here." Jay sighed, "We are responsible for Gavin, so we need to make sure this isn't happening. I only have three questions."

"Yeah, and what are those?"

Jay and Stephen turned in their seats, facing the six-year-old in the backseat. Gavin was fidgeting in his seat, with Hosuh gently holding his hand for comfort and bandaging his wrists. They each had very different ways of raising Gavin, with Stephen usually being the fun one unless it came to his education or when he was under a lot of stress. Jay tended to be very strict, with his fun moments, though those would likely shine through more as Gavin got older. The blonde wasn't exactly known for being good with kids, but he certainly wasn't bad at it. Hosuh was gentle, soft and sweet and loving. He could be strict if he needed to, especially when someone messed with the few rules he had in place or when people were being lazy, but he loved to just spend time with them.

He was probably trying to make up for what he lacked when it came to his own upbringing, Stephen realized.

"One. Gavin, how long have these kids been picking on you?" Jay asked, his voice deceptively calm as it held the rage underneath.

Gavin reached up and wiped away his tears, sniffling softly. "Since last year... Parents day."

Right. Parents day. Stephen, as Gavin's legal guardian, had gotten an exemption on going to school that day to instead attend Gavin's, where he'd needed to explain that he wasn't raising Gavin alone. That his boyfriends were helping. It was their fault Gavin was being bullied.

"Right. Next, why didn't you tell us yesterday?"

"They're nice... But not nice to me. I didn't wanna worry you all about me. You're all so busy, 'nd I-"

"Alright. And finally, Gavin, you know we're never too busy for you, and that you can tell us anything, right? It doesn't matter if you're hurting, if you're scared, or if you did something really bad. We'll get through it together. If you're sad, then we'll smile until you can again."

"I know, Jay. I'm sorry. I love you all."

"We love you too, little cub." The three teens said in unison, Jay and Stephen sitting properly as Jay started the car. Grocery shopping went by fast, faster than it ever had before, and before they knew it they were safely home.

Sure, their living situation was a little odd, but it worked for them. They all had different ways of getting to this point in their lives, with Jay's only technically being voluntary, and they wouldn't change it for the world.

________

Someone was in their house. His mother handed him his baby brother, pushing him into the closet. "Stay here, Stephen. If I don't come to get you in ten minutes, please, run. Take your brother and take him away from here, take care of him."

"What? Mom, I don't understand," Stephen said, looking sleepily up at his mother. Gavin was asleep, his yellow pajamas a little messy as he clung to his brother, "What's wrong?"

"Just listen for once in your life, and stay quiet. I love you." The doors closed. He could see through the slits in the wood, he could see his mom carefully exit the bedroom. From down the hall, he heard gunshots. No one was supposed to have such easy access to guns, not that he knew, and he heard yelling. Clinging to his brother, he counted out the minutes in their closet, taking deep breaths to keep from waking up the infant in his arms. If his mom didn't come to get him, where would he go?

He could go to Jay's. Jay lived mostly alone, with his rich adoptive family being off across the country for the majority of the year. He had a few rules, including that their neighbor would check in on him at least once a day until he started high school, that he was never to get below an A in any class, and once he got into high school he would need to pay for his own food. He would also need to pay for his own college, but they would help if he actually needed it.

But Jay wasn't good with kids. Hosuh was.

Three minutes left.

He heard his mother scream, a foreign voice demanding something. Stephen covered his little brother's ears as carefully as he could, adrenaline running through his veins.

Someone was going up the stairs. He could hear the telltale creak of the third step, the shuddering moan of old wood of the top hall. Stephen knew he needed to move. He needed to move and he needed to move now. He opened the closet as carefully as he could, tiptoeing out, grabbing his cell phone from the nightstand before continuing out of his carpeted room as he heard his heart beating in his ears. He caught a brief glance of the living room doorway, a pool of red seeping out towards the hall. His entire body jolted as he remembered his mother's words. Run. Take care of Gavin.

He ran off towards the back door, which was unlocked from the inside, and he carefully opened it. There was ringing in his ears, he didn't stop running even as the acorns pressed onto his feet, fumbling to stay balanced. He could hear the police sirens, but he couldn't think, he could only move and hold Gavin. The loud noises had awoken him, and he was crying loudly as Stephen attempted to dial Hosuh's number. It was only nine, he should still be awake, why won't he pick up-!

"Stephen? It's so late, what's wrong?" Hosuh's tired voice came over the phone.

"Hosuh? Thank fuck! Meet me at Jay's house, no time to explain, I promise- Please!"

"I'll be there. Do you need me to stay on the line?"

"No, just go!"

Hosuh hung up the phone without a second question. He'd likely heard the panic in his voice, heard Gavin's unstoppable crying and decided it best not to argue. He lived closer to Jay's house than Stephen did, anyway.

Stephen didn't stop running until he got to Jay's house, his friends meeting him at the door with a shocked expression. He quickly handed the crying Gavin to Hosuh, who seemed quite perplexed as to why he was holding his best friend's little brother.

"Watch him, calm him down." He said before running into the living room and fumbling to turn on the television.

"What're you doing, Stephen? What happened?" Jay asked, walking into the living room behind his friend only for the television to ring out over the local news.

"I'm standing here at the house of Mr. and Mrs. Ng, who have been dead in their house."

Stephen jolted awake with a shock, tears streaming down his face. He hadn't dreamed of that night in at least a year, since the last big crash of stress and anxiety. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, and he felt the gentle hands of his boyfriends holding him. Hosuh was in front of him, wiping away the tears and holding his hand, whispering soft words of comfort to him. It always left Stephen in awe afterward, how someone who'd been disowned by his own family had so much will to stay calm and not get upset at him.

"It's okay, Stephen, you're here. You're safe. We've got you. Gavin's okay. It's all gonna be okay," He whispered as Jay wrapped his arms around Stephen and kissed his cheek, then his forehead, humming a soft song. He knew how much they enjoyed listening to him singing, be it a small hum or a full ballad, they loved the sound of his voice.

Stephen wasn't able to form words through his sobs, holding onto the sheets even as he felt something was missing from his arms, but their actions helped diminish the loss of sleep before it became too much. They did have school in the morning, after all. By the time he was calm, nearing twelve-thirty in the morning, the three of them were ready to fall into sleep's sweet embrace once again.

The door creaked open then, and Stephen's nerves filled him with a short burst of adrenaline. Quickly he turned to the doorway, seeing a small figure scuttling into the room.

"I- Uh... I had a nightmare. Can I stay with you three?" Gavin asked, sleep slurring his words, though the tear marks on his cheeks proved his words true.

"Sure, buddy. C'mon, you can be in between Stephen and I," Jay said, motioning for Gavin to climb up onto the bed as he let go of Stephen so he could turn over. Hosuh instead wrapped his arms around his waist, nuzzling against his neck as the child climbed into their bed. Stephen quickly pulled his baby brother into a hug, the feeling of being lost fading away. This was his family, the four of them together.

#Actuallyoddplan #Jaystosuh #Happy ending #TW: Bullying #TW: minor death #Angst #Fluff and angst #Gavin is a baby #Gavin Ng #Stephen Ng #Hosuh Lee #tw: nightmare death #My writing #Gift fic #I really hope this is okay #For every ounce of angst there is a pound of fluff

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shy-marker-pliers · 4 years

Text

The Adventures of Eric Derekson Chapter 9 | Nightmares

Relationship: Heric

Warnings: physical abuse from a parent, crying, nightmares (obvi)

Taglist: @ericdereksonprotectionsquad @random-awkward-person @salty-sadness22 @allidrawsstuff @weretiger19 @jackthekit-kat @cute-anxious-kitten @i-am-a-losercorn @skepticeye @muntiller @djpaige13paige @mysepticheartfan1 @bashfulmusician @mayelamker @russellhowell @little-frying-pan @friendlyphantom @mutechild @supreme-meme-machine @caori-azarath @lamiasluck

“You’re useless.”

“you’re worthless.”

“I wish you’d never been born.”

“You should have died instead of your brothers.”

Eric couldn’t see. the world around him was dark, and he couldn’t tell if it was just the room or if he had gone blind. Not that it was his main concern right now.

Derek’s voice was all around him, booming, yelling. he covered his ears, but the voice seemed to find its way into his head, even louder than before. He was screaming and screaming and all Eric wanted was for it to stop-

Suddenly, he was in his room. All was quiet, except for the sound of his breathing. He nearly sobbed in relief, but then...

There Derek was, standing in his room just like he had been weeks ago. All Eric remembered after that was pain. His father was hitting him and screaming and god Eric just wanted it to be over. he wanted it to stop hurting, he wanted to get away, he wanted to die-

Thump.

Eric fell onto his bedroom floor, tangled up in his blankets with the salty taste of tears on his lips. Then he was sobbing, unsure if it was from fear, relief, or a mixture of the two. He carefully freed himself from his blankets and stood up on shaking legs, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself.

After Eric had used a tissue to dry his remaining tears and washed his face with some cool water, he went to the place he always did whenever he had a nightmare.

The Host’s library.

Checking the clock, he saw that it was about 2 AM, which meant that he would be finishing up his radio show right about now. He had told Eric that he was welcome in the library anytime, but he still knocked. Being polite was important after all.

He heard the sound of static, then a click of a machine being switched off.

“Enter.”

He carefully pushed open the large oak doors that gave way to the library. “H-Hey Host. ‘s me.”

Host rounded the corner. His usual getup of a trenchcoat, collared shirt and dress pants was abandoned in favor of a large grey sweater and pajama pants that had little blue stars on them.

“The Host had a feeling Eric would be coming tonight, so he dressed accordingly.”

Eric blushed. The Host never let himself be seen in anything but his normal outfit. To be honest, Eric didn’t think he even had any other clothes until that moment. And yet, here he was.

“O-Oh, you didn’t have to do that...I mean, i-if you wanted to that’s okay! And i’m not saying you look bad, you l-look really good- er, not that you don’t look good normally! You a-always look good, I just- (Shut up Eric, you’re blowing it!) ...you look different, is all. A good different.”

The Host put a hand over his mouth to hide a small laugh.

“The Host understands what Eric means. He thanks him for the compliment.”

“y-you’re welcome...anyways, i’m guessing since you knew I was coming you know w-why i’m here too.”

Host’s expression turned solemn as he nodded and wrapped an arm around Eric’s shoulders.

“Come on, Eric needs to get some rest. it’s only 2 in the morning, after all.”

The Host was warm as always, and Eric found himself snuggling into his side. His tiredness hit him like a tidal wave, and he let out a big yawn, stumbling a bit. Host smiled softly and picked Eric up, carrying him to the big leather couch in the center of the library.

“The Host apologizes for the clutter.”

Eric chuckled. “You always say that. Don’t worry ‘bout it, it makes it more homey.”

Host set Eric down. “Tea?”

“Not tonight, thanks.”

“Sleep it is, then.”

Host laid down on the couch first, stretching out similarly to how a cat would. Then came Eric, curling up on his chest and wrapping his arms around his middle. finally, Host pulled a blanket over the two of them and rested a hand on Eric’s curly black hair, combing his fingers through it absently. The other sighed, leaning into The Host’s touch.

After a few minutes, Eric asked in a small voice, “Host? C-Can you tell me a story? My mama used to do that whenever I couldn’t sleep. i-it helps. Being able to hear someone else’s voice, I mean.”

“The Host doesn’t see why not, It is his job after all. Is there any story in particular Eric would like to hear?”

“I dunno, something nice. A h-happy story.”

“Alright, give The Host a moment to think.”

He was silent for a few seconds before he began to speak.

“Once, there was a giant named Simon. He lived all alone in a huge forest with only the wild animals to keep him company. Though he had clothes, shelter, lakes to swim in and enough food and water to last him forever, he wasn’t content. In fact, he was very lonely. After all, what good is a paradise when there is no one to share it with?

“So one day, Simon decided to go into town. For the first time, he left his forest and ventured out into civilization. But when he got there, the people all ran for their lives. They all thought that he would kill them, or destroy their village. Though Simon was big enough to crush their houses with a few steps, that didn’t mean he wanted to. In fact, all he wanted in life was a friend, someone to help his forest home feel less lonely. He looked all around, but all the villagers had hidden, and he certainly didn’t want to take one of them away if they didn’t want to go. So he went back to his forest.

“Simon cried enough tears to fill a lake that night. He sat on the ground, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. The wild animals were worried for him, but when they came to try and help him feel better, he just ignored them.

“Later that day, he heard yelling. it was two men, The bigger one chasing the smaller and calling him things like ‘street rat’ and ‘dirty theif.’ he was carrying a loaf of bread and some fruit, and Simon guessed that he had no food at home. So he hid behind a tree, and when the men ran past, he scooped up the small one and scared the bigger one away. He thought that the smaller would run too, after the danger went away, but to his surprise, he stayed and thanked Simon for saving him.

“The man’s name was Charlie, and he had no home and no family to speak of. Simon offered to let him stay in the forest with him, and Charlie agreed. So the two became friends, and spent the rest of their days together in the forest. The end.”

Eric squeezed Host a bit tighter when the story was done. “That story’s about us, r-right?”

“The Host may have...drawn some inspiration from reality, yes.” He said with a small smile.

“I like that story. s’nice.”

“The Host is glad Eric thinks so.”

Eric was about to say something else, but was interrupted by a huge yawn. Host ruffled his hair.

“Eric needs to get some sleep. It’s far too late for him to be up.”

“okay. g’night, Host.”

...—...

Host didn’t have an alarm clock because he found that he woke up at about the same time every day anyway, but Eric needed one if he wanted to wake up anytime before 10. So when The Host woke at the usual time and Eric was still sleeping, hugging him like a giant teddy bear, he had no choice but to wake him up. He gently shook his shoulder.

“Eric needs to wake up, it’s almost time for breakfast.”

Eric grumbled and smushed his face into Hosts stomach. “Nooooo...I don’ wanna get up, y-you’re warm...”

“The early bird catches the worm.”

“I don’t want w-worms, I want sleep and hugs.”

Host sat up, causing Eric to have to do the same.

“Whyyyy?”

“Because Wilford is making french toast, and The Host will die before he misses Wilford’s french toast.”

The Host stood up and disappeared for a few minutes before coming back wearing his usual clothes. Eric was still in his pajamas and his hair was a mess, but he had put on his glasses. Host put his arm around Eric and steered him towards the kitchen.

“I don’t see why I couldn’t have gotten a few more minutes of sleep.”

“French toast waits for no man, dear.” The name slipped out before Host had the chance to stop himself. He froze, but to his relief the only reaction he got from Eric was a smile and a slight blush. The two continued on their way to the kitchen.

Eric wasn’t sure what he would call him and Host. Great friends definitely, maybe even best friends, but neither of them had made a move to make it anything more than that. Though they were much more affectionate towards each other than they were with anyone else, neither of them had said anything about it. If Eric weren’t so anxious he would have, but that obviously wasn’t the case. So friends they stayed.

Eric liked The Host. Of course he did, or else he wouldn’t have spent almost all of his time with him. If he didn’t like Host, he wouldn’t come to him whenever he had nightmares, he wouldn’t talk with him for hours, and he definitely wouldn’t be thinking about how strong he was, or his laugh, or that lopsided smile of his, or his perfect voice, or how damn gorgeous he had looked in that sweater the previous night-

Eric needed to stop before he turned into a living tomato. At the moment, he and Host were friends. Nothing more, nothing less. And that was enough.

For now.

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

Text

MDZS ch.83

MAYDAY MAYDAY CH 83 IS OUT AND OUR LIVES ARE AT RISK DKXGZJHXJXUSJS omg omg BREATH HANJI. BREATH.

*takes a deep breath* this is the chapter, guys. The chapter of that freaking spoiler. I'm gonna enjoy it all the same.

EDIT:

The second ‘siege’ could indeed be recorded in history. However, instead of being its scale or number of deaths, it’d be because it was the most pointless, laughable event of the cultivation world.

If you had succeeded, breaking you all would have been a pleasure :)

EDIT 2:

Wei WuXian knew at once. The closest ‘safe place’ to Yiling was the area of the YunmengJiang Sect. He asked, “So you intend on going to Lotus Pier next?”

Lan QiRen was vigilant, “Why do you ask?”

Wei WuXian, “Nothing. I just wanted to ask if I could go along.”

Sect Leader Yao warned, “Wei WuXian! You did a good deed today, but those are two separate things. Please understand that it’s impossible for us to associate with you.”

SOMEONE STOPS ME BECAUSE IF MY HANDS GET AROUND THOSE NECKS I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE FOR TALKING LIKE THIS TO MY WWX

HE FREAKING SAVED YOU PATHETIC LIVES, YOU ASSHOLES

EDIT 3:

Everyone knew that Sect Leader Jiang, the one whom Wei WuXian turned against, hated him the most. They all thought that their negotiation would fall through.

Yet, he only let out a bitter laugh, “So you dare go back to Lotus Pier?”

I need these two idiots to talk everything out. JIANG CHENG STOP BEING JIANG CHENG FOR ONE MINUTE AND TALK WITH YOUR BROTHER.

Wwx back at lotus pier gives me too many feels I'm gonna die for sure

EDIT 4:

One of the boys commented, “Heavens, it’s so shaky that it feels like there’s a storm in my stomach. Hey, SiZhui-xiong, you’re throwing up as well? Aren’t you from Gusu? It’s not like you’re from the North. Why are you even more seasick than I am?!”

*screams incoherently*

GUYS GUYS GUYS WHAT GUSU. WHAT GUSU HE IS NOT FROM GUSU *hysterical laugh* I'm jumping on my chair and I just need it to come out in the open. Can someone say the truth to this beautiful boy, my sizhui djcysjcush

EDIT 5:

Just as he was about to throw up some more, he suddenly saw a dark silhouette hanging onto the part of the boat below the rail, half of its body submerged inside the river’s water, staring straight at him.

(Omg WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RUN BABY RUNNNN)

[...] Just as he pressed down onto the hilt of his sword, he looked carefully and exclaimed, “The Ghost…”

Inside of the cabin, as Jin Ling heard this, he immediately rushed out with his sword, “A ghost? Where? I’ll kill it for you!”

(ZHUILING GUYS. ZHUILING. OMG THESE TWO, THESE TWOOOOOO. JIN LING SAY "I'lL kIlL iT fOr YoU" dkxujsxyusyxejdhxiek YES YES JUST Y E S-)

Lan SiZhui, “Not a ghost—the Ghost General!”

(WEN NING BLESS YOUR SOUL MY LOVE PLS EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO SIZHUI. also I'm laughing so hard at the mental image of wen ning clinging at the side of the boat bfjshxjdhd)

EDIT 6:

“Pfft!”

“JingYi, what are you laughing about?”

Lan JingYi, “Look at him. He is clinging onto the boat without moving at all, almost like a big, oblivious sea turtle!”

(SAME, BABY. SAME. ME AND JINGYI HAVE THE SAME REACTIONS, MY BOY.)

[...] Lan JingYi, “What is there to be scared of? It is not like you have not seen him before!”

(THE VOICE OF REASON. WEN NING AND JINGYI BROTHERHOOD. I'M HONESTLY CRYING AT HOW PURE MY SON IS GOOD JOB BABE)

EDIT 7:

Wen Ning stared at Lan SiZhui’s face as he walked toward him. Lan SiZhui noticed that he was here for him. He steadied himself as Wen Ning asked, “Wh-What is your name?”

(I AM SCREAMING. I AM SCREAMING SO MUCH MY THROAT HURTS. I'M CRYING AS WELL. I JUST NEED WEN NING TO KNOW HE IS NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD AND FOR SIZHUI TO REMEMBER AND REALISE BOTH WHO HIS BLOOD AND NOT-BLOOD FAMILIES ARE.)

EDIT 8: sizhui saying his name is lan yuan is breaking me

EDIT 9:

Dead people had no expressions, but Lan SiZhui was under the illusion that he thought he saw Wen Ning’s eyes light up.

He also thought that Wen Ning was feeling very excited, so excited that he stammered as he spoke. He himself began to feel excited as well, as though they were about to reveal a secret hidden for years.

Oh gods in the universe spare me.

EDIT 10:

"You really look like a distant relative of mine"

Szjahdiudicishcoshcoshxodhd WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY HEART RN THIS IS SO SWEET AND SAD AND BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND PLS PLS GIVE THESE BABES A JOY. PLS LET THEM HUG AND TALK ABOUT FAMILY AND JUST GIVE THEM THIS. GIVE THEM THIS PLS, I NEED IT AS WELL *sobs*

Also, lan wangji parenting is- *finds no good enough words in the dictionary*

And sizhui correcting himself and calling him mr.wen? This boy. This boy is so gentle and his soul is so shiny and beautiful.

EDIT 11:

For something, watching the ‘Ghost General’, a deeply sour sense of familiarity rose up amid Lan SiZhui, along with a blurry thought—he seemed to have seen this face some place, some time ago. It seemed that there was a name that almost broke through some sort of a barrier. If he said the name out loud, many other things would resurface as well, and he’d understand everything.

BABY YES PLS REMEMBER ABOUT BIG BROTHER XIAN AND LWJ AND GRANNY AND WEN QING AND WEN NING AND ALL THE OTHERS PLS THE MEMORY YOUR FAMILY IS STILL THERE

EDIT 12:

But at this point, Lan SiZhui saw Jin Ling, who stood at the side.

(Shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SH-)

After some silence, Wen Ning changed his wording, “Young Master Jin Ling?”

(of course of frEAKING COURSE CUTE, SWEET SCENES CAN'T LAST FOR SHIT IT THIS NOVEL my boy, my jl, calm down babe I know you want to hurt him I know baby just-)

Lan SiZhui, “Young Master Jin…”

Jin Ling, “Move to the side. It’s none of your business.”

But Lan SiZhui somehow felt that it definitely wouldn’t be none of his business. He went over and put himself between the two, “Jin Ling, put your sword away fir-”

Jin Ling was feeling tense anyway. His sight being blocked, he couldn’t help but shouted, “Don’t stop me!”

He reached out and pushed.

(OMG PLS NoOo BABE DON'T TAKE IT OUT OF SIZHUI I WANNA HUG ALL OF THEM THIS ANGST IS NOT WHAT I WANTED WHY WhYyYy

But SiZhui going from a more formal "young master ling" to "jin ling" how should I not ship them god sizhui a blessing

Also pls don't gang up against jl pls he has every right to feel like that my boy, just don't-)

EDIT 13:

Wen Ning saw that Lan SiZhui’s complexion was pale. Anxious, he blurted, “Young Master Jin, come at me. Wen Ning will not resist. But A- Young Master Lan Yuan…”

WeN nInG pLs-

(He stopped himself from calling him a-yuan guys I surrender. I can't read anymore. I'm dying)

EDIT 14 (i'm sorry this shit is getting so long-):

I knew it would come to this. I KNEW IT. DON'T GANG UP AGAINST JIN LING DON'T YOU EVER DARE. I need jin ling happy with ppl that loves him you're not alone, sizhui and jingyi love you, you have friends, you even have wwx, you're not alone babe-

EDIT 15:

Seeing the two, Lan SiZhui felt that no matter what difficulties he faced, he could overcome them no matter what, beaming, “HanGuang-Jun! Senior Wei! Come over here!”

FAMILY VIBES. I HAVE BEEN THIRSTY FOR THESE FAMILY VIBES SINCE CH 74. I NEED MORE OF THIS I NEED CH 84 NOW. N O W

#grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of diabolism #the founder of evil magic #mdzs novel #mdzs fangirling mode #lan sizhui #lan yuan #mdzs ch.83

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slusheeduck · 6 years

Text

Grace Note

Part 4 - 2004

Sebastián huffed as he adjusted the empty boxes in his arms. Today was the day, he decided, that they were going to get rid of all the bottles that kept piling up in Ruy’s apartment. He was pretty sure there were still some there from the first party he’d gone to, over a year ago. He’d brought it up for a while now, but Ruy had always waved him off with an easy smile and a ”Later, later, Seba.”

Well, enough. Sebastián knew landlords well enough to know that even someone like Rodrigo Rivera was susceptible to being kicked out, and none of his other friends would give him the kick he needed to clean up.

He reached the teal-sided house, propping up his boxes against his hipbone as he reached for the doorknob. He shut his eyes and hoped the knob would be stuck, then groaned as it turned easily.

“Ruy!” he called as he walked in. “You need to lock your door!”

Normally, he’d get a call of “What, is someone going to murder me?” in reply, but nothing came. Sebastián frowned as he walked in and set the boxes down. Was Ruy out? Maybe he was taking Caprice out; she wasn’t settled in the main room like she normally was. He puffed as he looked around.

“Ruy?” he called. “Oye, are you in here somewhere?”

No answer. Sebastián puffed again, taking off his hat to push his hair back before he pulled it back on. The idiot probably didn’t have keys on him, and despite Ruy’s constant protests, he didn’t feel comfortable leaving the door unlocked. Well, he’d probably be back soon enough. And…well, there was a beautiful grand piano that Ruy had said he could use anytime.

He made his way over to it, cleaning off a few scattered thank you notes and loose pages of sheet music. As he was about to sit down, though, he heard a loud whinny from the backyard.

“Caprice?”

Another whinny, and, as Sebastián got closer to the sliding glass door, he heard a few mumbles through it. He quickly slid the door open, catching sight of Ruy stumbling his way to Caprice.

“Shh, shhhhhhhh, Preese. ‘Sgood. Ssssoy bueno.”

Caprice let out a concerned-sounding nicker, then whistled as she caught sight of Sebastián. Ruy leaned heavily against her, then gave a vacant smile as he turned.

“Seeeeeba!” he sang, pushing himself away from Caprice and drifting over to him. “Seeebasebaseba, mi chico favorititito!” He stumbled forward, dropping his glass to clutch at Sebastián, to keep from falling to the ground. “Whoops.”

“Dios, you reek of tequila,” Sebastián said, trying to pull him up. He looked around with a frown. “Has anyone been over? Were you—” He was stopped by Ruy clapping a hand over his mouth.

“Shhh. Sh sh sh. Doesn’t…don’t worry about that.” He looked up at him with unfocused eyes. “Whyyyy d’you worry so much anyway? You shouldn’ worry. None’a my friends should worry.” Ruy pulled himself up a bit, grinning at Sebastián. “Y’know what? I’m…I’m’na throw a party tonight. A big one. Then you can stop worrying.”

Sebastián grimaced. This definitely wasn’t normal-drunk Ruy he was looking at. This was even worse than post-obligatory-family-party drunk. He hoisted him up to stand straight, then kept a hold on his shoulders as he swayed and almost fell over. “Rodrigo, I need…”

“Dooooon’t call me Rodriiiigo. She’s the only one who makes it sound nice,” he argued, waving vaguely past Sebastián’s shoulder before he frowned at him. “Yooou make it sound like I’m in trouble.”

Sebastián fought the urge to roll his eyes, instead snapping to get Ruy to look at him. “Fine. Ruy. Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Mentira. You’re a wreck.”

Ruy pushed himself away with a frustrated noise. “I’m not! I’m fffine!” He backed away from Sebastián, skull lifted and eyes shut. “IIIIIII am completely and totally FI—”

Splash.

Caprice whinnied frantically as Ruy fell back into the pool, and Sebastián lunged forward, looking over the edge with wide eyes. Maybe the dip would sober him up enough to…why wasn’t he resurfacing? All he could see was a dark, still shape in the water.

For a half a second, Sebastián completely forgot they were dead, and he automatically plunged into the water after Ruy. Gripping his bony arms, of course, was enough of a reminder, but Ruy still wasn’t moving even while Seba pulled him back to the surface. He couldn’t…the final death didn’t work like that, right?

“Ruy? Ruy!”

Ruy finally let in a strangled gasp, eyes flying open and staring straight up. “I can’t…I can’t move…” He rasped.

“Yes, you can! Mirame, mirame, Ruy!” It was a little difficult while he was trying to keep them both above the water, but Sebastián managed to grab Ruy’s chin and pull his head down to look at him. “Look at me. We’re dead. You’re fine now, you can’t get hurt.”

Ruy’s breathing was still ragged, his eyes still wide and terrified, and Sebastián pulled his hand away to snap at him.

“Look at me. You’re okay. You’re okay, Ruy.”

Finally, Ruy’s eyes locked on Sebastián’s. He blinked a few times, then looked up as Caprice whinnied at them again. He swallowed hard, legs now kicking to keep himself afloat, then looked over at Sebastián miserably before he swam to the edge of the pool. Sebastián’s jaw tightened, and he grabbed his hat as it floated by before following him.

This definitely prompted a talk.

Clack.

The sound rang out through the apartment as Sebastián nearly slammed the cup of coffee in front of Ruy. He set his hands on his hipbones as he watched Ruy stare down at the cup. The dip in the pool had sobered him up quite a bit, and now he looked…wilted—shoulders hunched, eyes glassy, hair still dripping onto the papers on the table. Sebastián honestly wanted to just cheer him up, but…he got the feeling that wasn’t what he needed.

“Drink that,” he said, voice a little harsher than he meant it to be. “I need you to be sober before we talk about this.”

“Do we have to talk about it?” Ruy asked in a small voice, still staring at the coffee. Sebastián rubbed one of his temples with a sigh.

“Yes. We do. Because I have never seen you that bad…”

“You haven’t known me very long.”

“And I don’t want to see you that bad ever again.”

Ruy’s gaze finally broke from the coffee cup, and he looked up at Sebastián with wide, surprised eyes. He swallowed hard, then picked up the cup and took a sip. He grimaced and screwed his eyes shut before he huffed a breath through his nasal cavity and mumbled something against the cup rim. Sebastián sat down across from him and leaned forward.

“What was that?”

Ruy kept his eyes closed, hands gripping the cup so hard they were shaking. He let out a long, slow breath.

“My…ex visited last night.”

Sebastián blinked, then rested his arms against the table. “Bianca?”

“What?”

Sebastián shrugged. “I dunno. I still see her sometimes and she’s…got that ex vibe whenever you get brought up.”

Ruy puffed out a sound that was almost a laugh, shaking his head. “No, no. Bianca is a completely different story.” He tapped out a small tune against the mug. “Actually, yeah, let’s talk about Bianca.”

“Ruy…”

A pained grimace crossed Ruy’s face, and he looked up at Sebastián with wide brown eyes. “Please, Sebastián. Just give me a minute.”

Sebastián. He was pretty sure Ruy hadn’t called him by his full name since his freakout a year ago; it must be serious. He sat back with a sigh, arms crossed. “All right. Tell me about Bianca.”

Ruy took a long sip of coffee. “I met her kinda the same way I met you. Got really drunk, think I played a few things for her—if I remember right, she was kinda shell-shocked about being dead, and I’m not gonna lie, I really liked showing off for freshies back then. Got their minds off things, y’know?” Told her to visit whenever, and she did.” He rubbed his face. “And I was an idiot. I should’ve seen the signs. I spent so much time with her—even more than you and I did at first—because she was…” He shrugged. “She was sweet? She said everything I did was amazing? And it was just…dios mio, it’s so nice to hear that, you know?”

Sebastián frowned. “You said you hated people talking about you like that.”

“I hate people talking about my music like that. Telling me how amazing my garbage work is, telling me what a genius I am with my concertos, all that. But talking about me like I was something amazing? I don’t get that very often.” He rubbed his eyes with a sigh. “And then she came in one day asking ‘What are we?’ And I just…I couldn’t answer her. So she left. And I did what I do best and tried to run from that. I talked to new people, threw myself into new music…did everything I could to avoid her.”

“No wonder she thinks you target freshies,” Sebastián said before he could stop himself. He clamped his mouth shut, but Ruy shook his head.

“No, you’re right.” He cradled his skull in his hand as he sighed. “And I still don’t know what I wanted. But no matter what, it would’ve ended badly.” He shut his eyes, pressing the heel of his palm against his brow ridge. “She’s not her.”

“And…her is the ex.”

Ruy nodded. He opened his mouth, then shut his jaw with a sharp click as he grimaced again. “I can’t…” he whispered. “I can’t tell you about her. Not today.”

Sebastián gave a soft sigh before leaning forward. “Tell me something. Tell me what got you to that state.”

“I…”

“What if she comes again, Ruy? What if I’m not there to fish you out of the pool?”

“It won’t be like this if she comes again. I just…” Ruy swallowed hard, eyes glistening as he finally opened them. “She has a kid, Seba. Probably has grandkids,” he said quietly, voice breaking. “Her hair’s gray now. She lived. And…and I should be happy about that, but…” He shrugged helplessly and started to turn to get up. Sebastián lunged across the table to grab his arm.

“No. You’re staying sober for the rest of the day,” he said firmly, then softened his voice as he asked, “Why aren’t you happy about it?”

Ruy stared hard at the table, obviously trying hard not to blink. Eventually, he did, and two tears dripped to the table.

“She did it all without me,” he whispered. “Because I wasn’t good enough.”

Sebastián sucked in a breath. O…kay. This was harder than the other breakups he’d walked friends through…which weren’t very many. What did he do? “No, I’m sure you were fine,” sounded so fake, but anything else would sound like he was agreeing that Ruy wasn’t good enough. And…well, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he’d fallen apart…kind of like he was doing right now.

But friends didn’t say that. Friends help make their friends be better. And he wanted to do that, but…well, he didn’t have the answer for that now. So, instead, he got to his feet. Ruy looked up at him as he did, tears still pooled in the bottom of his sockets, then swallowed hard.

“I’m right, ar—”

“Hey, shut up.” Sebastián walked over to the piano, gathering up the papers on the keys and setting them aside as neatly as he could. “Maybe you are. I dunno. I didn’t know you back then. But I’m already tired of you being a sadsack about stuff you can’t change.” He sat down at the piano and glanced over his shoulder. “I’m sorry you had such a bad visit with her. Break-ups suck.”

Ruy puffed out another almost-laugh, wiping at his eyes. “They do, don’t they?”

“So we’re not gonna think about her anymore. Not for the rest of the day, at least.” He cracked his knuckles. “Escucha. This was supposed to be your birthday present.”

“I’d need a birthday for th—”

“Shut up, Ruy, everyone knows it’s June 12th. Escucha.” Before Ruy could get another word in, Seba started to play, smiling a bit as he heard Ruy’s gasp.

“Is this…?”

“Mm-hm.”

“You’re covering Selena?”

“Yeah, and you better love it. It physically hurts me to play this.”

It was like seeing a dead man come back to life…metaphorically. There was still an edge that said that Ruy wasn’t quite better, but…well, the most they could do right now was pretend. That was…kinda what friends did. And to be honest, that kind of friend was what Ruy needed, at least right now. No empty praises, no urging to be better. Just someone to spend some time with him and shake off a night he obviously wanted to forget.

Maybe one day he’d be able to help Ruy get past the worst of…this. But there was all the time in the world to figure that out. For now…well, it took a pretty great friend to compose a Selena medley, didn’t it?

~End~

#rodrigo rivera #Sebastián Alvarez #villain!AU #IT'S OVER #I'm never doing multi-chapter ficlets ever again

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aliceellablog · 6 years

Text

Acceptance is key when you have a chronic illness, but that doesn’t mean you should ever give up.

When you want something so freakin’ much and it’s not in your control, what do you do?

Do you accept it? Or do you keep fighting?

But what if fighting it made it worse? The harder you push the worse you get and the further away you become from your goals, your dreams and your life.

That’s what M.E. does to us and for now there’s not much we can do.

When the illness you’ve been diagnosed with has no test for it you’re left constantly wondering if you even have it. You feel so damn ill that you keep wondering if you have an illness that the doctors have never found. If you have been misdiagnosed all these years.

M.E. is a diagnosis of elimination which means that they basically test you for EVERYTHING - from blood tests to cameras up your ass, from eating sherbet and being scanned upside down, to cameras down your throat into your stomach. Name a test, I’ve had it.

Then when all the tests come back negative, and you’re left distraught, you feel desperate to be diagnosed with just about ANYTHING!

Following that you then ended up seeing a bunch of psychiatrists who also find nothing wrong with you and say stupid shit like ‘ have you tried taking a dog for a walk?’ - no, no i have not because I’m in a fucking wheelchair you dick. (Yes that really was said to me by a doctor) - It just doesn’t make sense to me that all us healthy happy people suddenly find themselves bed-bound and people think we fake it?!? WHYYYY!!?? And hey, if M.E. is all in our heads then why cant we donate blood?!

But I was diagnosed with M.E. at 14, and 15 years later there is STILL no test, no cure, and sure as hell no help.

A friend of mine recently received some comments on her blog saying that she was being too negative, and that really made me think.

How dare they add more to what she is already struggling so hard to cope with- how dare they comment on something they so obviously have no experience of and no knowledge about.

It made me realise that we have every right to feel how we feel and to speak out about it.

In my case it makes me want to ask the question ‘could you live with a chronic illness for over 15 years and not mention it? Not feel the need to vent? Could you be positive all the time?’ I don’t think you’d really manage to just ’try yoga babe’ or ‘drink more water’ - I’m not strong enough to do bloody yoga and I drink plenty…

I mean, imagine being healthy, and then your life suddenly being taken away from you at the age of 14, and now all these years later you are still fighting a constant battle. Every single day. And the fact I’m not exaggerating kinda sucks right!!?

Yes I used to be in a wheelchair and unable to speak / move / watch tv for several years, but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope now. In fact I personally find it even harder now, because when I do get moments of relief it makes me want to be able to live a full life even more.

There are days when I can actually feel a little bit of energy in my body and because of the nature of M.E. I have to hold back or I’ll get worse- and let’s be honest if I do have enough energy to do a little something I’m gonna end up doing it and then suffer the consequences. OOPS!!!!

Fuck sake it’s bloody ridiculous. So no, I won’t be positive every day, but I will try my best to be as often as I feel strong enough to. That’s all we can do.

I’ve even noticed that some of my friends have have stopped asking me how I am - I think that they don’t want to broach that subject with me any more and that hurts a bit. But one thing this illness definitely does is show you who your true friends are- if they ain’t there when you truly need that support then they ain’t gonna be there for the good times I can tell ya!! And the friends that do care, they are beyond amazing , so thank fuck for that, thank fuck for them.

I know I haven’t written my blog in a little while and to be honest over all I have been coping a little better recently! (Not that you’d think it reading all that! But I have been working SO DAMN HARD on acceptance and have found that to be the key to keeping my sanity.

I find that the more I fight and the more I want for my life, the worse I get.

I have to keep learning to accept that I have an illness that not many people understand, and that some people don’t even believe exists - fuck them though.

I know what I live with and I know how I feel on a daily basis- I know that when I am smiling in a photo I was probably crying myself to sleep the night before. I know that when I film a video for youtube I have to rest for days before and afterwards and each cover takes me at least a month or two to actually record and edit.

For that reason I know I won’t make it in this industry. How frustrating is that.

I can’t do what the other singers and writers can do.

I can’t go to the networking events and for over a year- since my last relapse- I haven’t been able to do any writing sessions or be in a studio. The things I have absolutely pushed myself to be able to do (for example my new music video) have always set me back for weeks or months after…sometimes worth it, sometimes not!

Over the past 6 years since I really started writing, recording and putting out music I’ve only been able to release 3 singles. - Yes I am proud of that and only I know what a struggle it’s been but it also makes me realise just how unrealistic it is to want to be a singer… I can’t even gig!! LOL #awkward

BUT I have been managing little things recently however small, but it does seem like every time I get above water and start to book things in and feel like I CAN DO THIS, something drags me back down again.

Frustration frustration frustration. That’s what I feel 24/7.

I am trapped, trapped inside a body that won’t let me live.

I want to socialise! I want to see friends, I want to go on dates and have some sort of love life, and above all else I want to sing. I want to work my fucking ass off and release my music. I want to write songs and push myself hard.

But I can’t. So I have to deal with that- and no-one else can help me deal with that. It’s down to me.

Recently I have been trying (again!!!!!) with the lightning process - a neurolinguistic approach and have genuinely found it very helpful, but it hasn’t ‘cured’ me by any means.

I did 7 months solid of graded exercise therapy and by keeping a chart every day MAN I’M COOL I soon realised that I didn’t actually make any solid progress. Since then I have been keeping a chart with the lightning process and have seen some improvement.

I did the LP course around 10 years ago now so I have made the decision to retake it, but was scheduled to go on it lat week and wasn’t well enough!! OH THE IRONY!!!

BUT - There IS hope, and maybe it’ll be just what I need to conquer this mother fucker. But then again maybe it won’t! Who knows!! But I won’t give up and I’ll keep trying whatever I can!

Time will tell and I am going to go there with no expectations other than to give it my all.

I will blog again maybe a few weeks after and let y’all know whats a gwarning!! But for now, love and strength to my fellow spoonies xx remember, acceptance is key when you have a chronic illness, but that doesn’t mean you should ever give up.

Alice xXx

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nhlhoser · 7 years

Text

On The Rocks- 10

Part 9 Masterlist

Everyone left after Steph and I made the arrangments for her to move in a couple weeks after when her lease is up and Mitch + gang are free to help move what she needs. I am actually really excited to have Stephanie as my roommate, so far she seems to be a really good person.

My plans for the day weren't much other than laying around my apartment watching T.V. and eating junk food, in the most unflattering sweatpants and hoodie combo in my possession. It was going great too until I remember my job interview tomorrow and I fell off the couch like the memory physically smacked me across the face.

I need to mentally prepare more than anything else, I know I have the ability to do this and get the job, it's just I still feel like I'll mess it up with something i'd say or trip over myself.

"I need to distract myself," I mumbled sitting up, leaning my back again the couch. Scrolling through my phone I have a couple messages from Steph just about moving and stuff but also one from my brother made my grin.

"Perfect,"

"Ah," I grunted throwing my gloved fist at my brother's grinning face, I had put a good amount of weight behind it and I clocked him pretty good. His head flinging back dramatically but raising his fist in time to upper cut my chest making me fall on my ass. I lay on the floor of the boxing ring sweaty and gross but feeling great.

"I tap out," I wheezed dramatically spreading my limbs like a starfish almost in the middle of the ring, where my younger brother Ricky and I were sparring. My brother is just a little bit taller than me and likes boxing because he's a small guy compared to the rest of his lacrosse team. He's never actually been in a fight but he will always say.

"Just in case you know," He'd say with a wink and throwing a couple punches into the air.

"So what's caused you enough stress to agree to come with me? You're usually a solo mission kinda gal," Ricky said helping me up, knowing me well enough to know when I'm stressed. Grabbing my water and unstrapping my head gear, making my way out of the ring.

"I have a job interview/ try out tomorrow," I finally said when I had my things gather and Ricky was leaning on ropes staring down at me raised brows. He ducks under and hops down to my level.

"You say that like it's a bad thing, I thought you wanted a new job," His black/brown hair sticking to forehead adding to the confusion in his blue eyes that match mine. I sigh, fiddling with my towel nerves re-entering my body like wildfire.

"It is a good thing! I just feel like I mess it up," I confessed turning away from my brother to head to the change rooms.

"That's just your nerves talking Amelia," Ricky laid his hand on my sweaty shoulder to stop my movement before going on "We both know you're pretty damn great at your job, You have to stop doubting yourself. You'll do great" He pulled me into a hug- a nasty sweaty hug. Pulling away i swat him away.

"I needed that," I smiled at my brother who smiled back before pushing me toward the change room with a 'you stink'.

Waiting for a shower to free up, now feeling a lot better and light hearted I open Snapchat and jokingly take a gym selfies caption 'Better than Marns' referring to Steph at the hotel on the weekend. Sending it off and tossing my phone in the locker I head to the showers.

It was when I was home again that I got the notification.

'SCREENSHOT Stephthechance'

"Oh fuck," I cursed instantly calling the evil blonde I called my friend just hours ago.

"Hello?" Her innocent voice making me scowl.

"Whyyyy???" I whined into phone balancing it on my shoulder as I work my through my apartment dropping my bag in the laundry room and gloves into the closet.

"I had to, girl. I need proof to burst my boyfriend's ego. He's always flexing and being mister manly man," She whined at the end of her statement. Groaning I readjust my phone so now I can hold it normally.

"Just delete it please," I plead making my way into the kitchen to make something to eat.

" I could, but what's the fun in that" she laughs.

"Me not killing you is fun, Man I don't want the stress of you showing someone on purpose or accidentally. I'm already stressed about a job interview tomorrow," I groaned back to the awkward way of hold my phone against my shoulder assembling my protein shake.

"Oh, where's your interview?" She completely disregarding my threat of her death.

"Some sports team in Etobicoke, Massage therapist," I easily confess as I busily work on my shake and trying to not drop my phone in the sink.

"Going by what Auston told us about you 'Magic hands' You'll do great especially this coming from him." Steph lowered her voice to mimic Auston. My cheeks flare at the thought that they were talking about me.

"Oh god, he told you," My voice cracked. What else did he say? Did he tell them about sharing a bed? Oh god, that's so embarrassing.

" Yeah, He told us how you did some magical voodoo on his back before he fell asleep on the couch," Steph oblivious to where he actually slept.

"Oh yeah, That was nothing really," I tried to hold back my sigh of relief, sitting on my couch I relax into the cushions instead a released a tired sigh.

"If that's nothing, You something has to be a thousand times better! Also, Mitch is jealous, he almost made us come back so you'd massage his back," Steph's voice caring a different note at the end.

"Don't work Steph you'll get a massage too" I teased.

"My neck does hurt... and since you offered....." she trails off into a giggle. Shaking my head I finish off my shake.

"Sure thing but you have to delete the photo first," I challenged.

"Well, Will you look at that! My neck doesn't hurt anymore!"

"I hate you so much right now," I groaned over the phone to emphasize my displeasure.

"No, you don't! Well Mitch is coming in the door with food now so I'll let you get to whatever you do,"

"See ya"

Hang up the phone I groan again.

"She's not deleting that photo," I said to no one but my furniture.

Sleep came easier than I thought it would of due to my nerves but I was out as soon as my head my pillows. Getting up was a little bit harder than It was going to sleep, My body is that good sore after a great workout but also the hesitation knowing that the sooner I get ready, the sooner I leave for the interview.

I got dressed and ate slowly but by the time I was done it was time I should leave.I got uber and in no time I was the Mastercard Centre. I guess I was so nervous I didn't even notice the logos on the door or on the walls as I made my way to the trainer's room by following signs. I could hear the sound of hockey, hell it even smelt like hockey. When I got to where I need to be I felt the need to vomit I was so nervous but I was greeted by a friendly enough looking man who looks to be in his late 40's maybe.

"HI, I am Todd Bean we talked over the phone. Amelia Ashton if I am correct?" He sticks out his hand for a handshake, I grasp it strongly but not overly strong.

"Yes, That would be me?"

We talked for almost an hour about the job, my job history, and certifications. He was now reviewing my paperwork with a passive face as if he was deciding something. I just sat for what felt like forever fidging slightly and twirling my thumbs. The longer he went without saying anything only made my nerves worse, the nervous sweat setting in making me feel so gross.

He tilts his head up me and slowly a smile spreads across his face, deepening the slight wrinkles around his eyes and mouth.

"I am willing to hire you right here, right now but" My posture starts to slump, there's always a but.

"I need to test you a little bit, just because you passed your certification doesn't mean you're good enough for me." He's eyes teasing but serious. He writes something down on a notepad before he stands and beckons me to follow him. He leads me out the door and down the hall to another trainer's room, this one has a massage table in the middle with all the needed creams, oils and ointments lining the shelves with towels folded perfectly on the lower shelves.

"I am going to get a test dummy, You just make yourself comfortable," He's back out the door before I could say anything. I take this as an opportunity to check out the oils and such, examine each label seeing all the different effects, one cools or heats and another numbs. I was busy exploring bottles that I almost didn't notice when Toad re-enter the room, this time with another person.

"Amelia, this is Connor Brown," Toad motions towards the very familiar hockey player, this would be the time i finally realized my job interview is for the Toronto Maple Leafs. 'Act cool' schooling myself I introduce myself as we shake hands.

"So, to put it simply, The job is to make Connor feel better and so here is the test," Toad grins now pointing to Connor "Make him feel better,"

I nod turning on my profession mode on I started with the questions to better understand his body to know what amount of pressure would be needed and where to lighten up or press harder.

In the end, Connor fell asleep on the table.

"Well, I say you have the job!" Toad clapped me on the back as Connor release a snore. My eyes widen and all my nerves are gone.

"We will finalize everything in person another day, I'll email you when and where You'll be meeting the rest of the staff. To start you'll be mainly working on practice days to get you into things and before long you'll be game ready!" He voices very cheerily making me smile.

We shook hands and discuss the jobs some more before I was out the door of the room, I was walking down the hall when I heard familiar voices.

"Man, Connor gets to test out the new therapist when he knows I volunteered first," A grumpy voice of Mitch Marner sound around the hall I was passing when Mitch and who was with spotted me.

"Hey, Amelia, What you doing here?" A still sweaty Mitch asked.

"Well, I guess I work here now" I smiled.

"Oh doing what?"

"I am the new Massage therapist,"I confessed like it was some secret. Mitch's eyes widen and his elbows the guy beside him who turns out to be the very tall enforcer Matt Martin, He looks a lot taller than when I met him at the bar.

"She the one I was telling you about, 'Magic hands' so Auston said," Mitch's whole being oozed excitement. My face turns red instantly as my cheeks burn.

"Man, Now I can see for myself, Come you have to meet everyone else!" Mitch starts to lead me to guess where everyone is, Matt in tow shaking his head.

We get to a door with the Leafs logo posted rather brightly in your face, as Mitch tosses open the door he pulls me into what I am guessing is players lounge because there multiple guys around the room on couches or at tables eating.

"Hey! Amelia!" a voice with a Swedish tinge to it call out from across the room, where William is sitting with Morgan Rielly and James Van Riemsdyk. Mitch leads me over to them with a huge grin.

"Hi" I shyly sit across from the blonde and two others with Mitch beside me and Matt leaning on the arm of the chair to Mitch's right. Before anyone can ask or say why I am here, Mitch does it.

"Amelia here is out new Massage therapist," Which gathers some looks from the guys across from us. I sink into the couch as they stare.

"Ah, you did mention that you're a massage therapist!" William nods at the memory of dinner. A look of confusion washed over Morgan and James' faces. They probably wonder how their teammates know me. William also catches his teammates confusions and Mitch starts the story of the boring Gala then the bar, hotel and temporarily stealing his girlfriend.

"Then Auston and I almost killed her," William stated not explain further which left room for some imagination. William caught that his words could be twisted sexually.

"We accidentally made her fall off a treadmill and she hit her head," William defended. Morgan and James nod.

"So she's the one Auston got the meds from me for," Morgan stated.

"Yeah, whatever those were got me pretty damn high," I blurted out making the guys all laugh, as I get redder and sink further.

"Well, they're for a grown man," Morgan noted, it made sense really how sloppy I got.

we-they kept talking some more when Matt asked me if I was going to be at the Game Tomorrow.

"No, I don't officially start until- I am not even sure but when i do start with you guys it will only be during practices until I get into a routine," I explained.

"I also have never been to a game," I added.

Williams jaw visibly drops and well as Mitch.

"But how?"

"Oh yeah, Steph was texting me about that," Will and Mitch started at the same time.

" Well, I've never had the money or the time," I shrugged.

"Well, Looks like you're coming to the game tomorrow," James said and the rest nod with him.

"I can't-" I start.

"Save it, women, you're going," William said staring into my eyes making me want to look always but I felt trapped.

Looks like I am going to my first Leafs game.

"You'll have to wear my jersey of course, as I am your favorite," William said Arrogantly.

"What makes you think she won't be wearing mine, I too am her favorite," A new voice challenges Williams previous statement from behind me.

I don't have to look to know its Auston Matthews.

#auston matthews imagine #on the rocks

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