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#which. i started unlocking stuff AFTER that
astarionfixation · 21 hours
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Chapter 11: +I am not a glass doll+
Part of "Am I Fu**ing Insane !?!" A multi chapter adventure in Astarion’s mind
Rating: EXPLICIT ROUGH SEX (intercourse PIV)
CW: Blood, Sex
Word count count: 1.9k
Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav
AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/140917522
I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more
** Thoughts "" Dialogue - - Remarks ++ Quotes / Memories
SUMMARY: In this chapter we simply finish the sex marathon we started 3 chapters ago -to jog your memory, she's on top, for the first time ever- Cause I imagine Pacing is of the essence for someone who's been around over two centuries like Astarion. If we had caring cuddly Astarion in the previous two chapters let's just say things get a fair bit rougher here... consider this your content warning for serious Rough stuff.
He has to close his eyes because, if along with the sensations her swaying hips are eliciting from his cock -strangled within her velvety warmth-, he also lets the vision of her soft, perfect body reach him, as it makes languid, serpentine circuits with her back arched and breast exposed as she impales herself repeatedly over him, that alone might make him come undone.
Her movements are excruciatingly slow, as if every inch of him has to be felt and pressed upon, as if her centre is gauging every sensitive spot on his cock and after a moment of attentive reactions she keeps learning and repeating exactly those that are driving him the most insane with pleasure.
His hands still gripping on her hips, though without any pressure or conviction, only to have his fingers full with the grasp of her softness.
*there’s absolutely nothing I can teach her…*
His head rolls back and he doesn’t even realise he must have arched his back enough so that now he hits a new, deeper spot inside of her and a louder gasp breaks through her throat as her movements halt with his cock completely buried inside of her. His eyes shoot open to find her biting her lip.
“Are you alright? Just… let me stay still for a moment… get used to me… we don’t need to ru–”
The words die in his throat with a groan ending his sentence as her hips have resumed their undulation, slow yet hitting harder and deeper every time she presses herself flush against his crotch.
“Do you want me to stop?”
She breathes every word as her rhythm remains unaffected. She suddenly lets him pull out almost completely and his instincts have his fingers dig deeper in her hips to keep her close
“No… please.. I was… just worried… about you”
“Stop worrying about me Astarion, I’m not a glass doll”
There is something incredibly enticing about the way she chose her words, though before he can spend any longer on them, her entire body is overhanging above him. Her hands reach to the headboard of the bed as she’s got him completely trapped between herself and the mattress beneath him. Her soft, perfumed locks caressing his shoulders are the last thing he registers as suddenly this new angle makes a scream of pleasure escape his lips. Though her own lips capture his immediately and now both their moans are just filling each other’s mouths.
This is a new kind of kiss, ravenous, she’s not just kissing him she is…
*biting!*
Her teeth are pulling at his bottom lip and yet in a flash her tongue is pressing harder against his own. Teeth clashing against his and for a moment he still tries to focus on covering his own fangs with his lips for fear of hurting her. But that’s when her words resonate and unlock something is his body
+I am not a glass doll+
A hand quickly moves across her back to press at the nape of her neck, pulling her closer still, the other one reaching for the small of her back as his own hips arch against hers, his cock buried deep inside of her, reaching surely an impossible depth for a human. He might think about how sore this will make her feel later but those thoughts have all but left his mind, finally beautifully empty for once, and all he knows is what his body feels.
Her incredibly tight cunt throttling every inch, every spot, of his insanely hard cock, every beat of her pulse reverberating around it and rippling across his crotch and dispersing around his body. 
Her thighs locking his hips in place, pressing harder and harder against his bones and a fleeting thought carrying the desire to hear himself crunch, crushed by her grip, almost tips him over the edge.
Her teeth biting down on his lips without restrain as her kiss gets rougher against his mouth and her hips movements are beginning to match that raw need until she angles herself just right and another moan makes him almost roll his head back. When he does, her teeth don't relent and that's when her bite on his lip finally draws blood.
As the metallic flavour hits his senses everything turns to a blur. The pressure around his cock drives him mad and in a split second he’s grabbed her arms and reversed their positions, flipping her on her back as his hips now pound into her impossibly wet and engorged sex. Her measured slow movements are forgotten, replaced by sudden, hard thrusts that make him want to go deeper, and deeper until there’s nothing left of her to discover, to feel, to taste.
One hand grabs at her wrists and pins them above her head, holding them in place in a rock hard grip, as the other reaches to her thigh, pulling her leg up to curl around his own waist
*Deeper… deeper… deeper*
Her sighs and moans have left room to screams and heaving, and he can tell her own hips are trying to meet his thrusts best as she can in this position. He arches his back so that his mouth can devour hers again and this time there’s nothing resembling concern about his fangs, as they go directly to graze at her lip, nipping just enough to draw her own blood now wetting his lips
*We’re even now, you minx!*
His mouth latches onto her lower lip, sucking on it to draw more of her ambrosia as his hips keep pounding into her relentlessly. Even as little of her blood as this scratch allows him to take in is sending his entire body into a frenzy. His movements scattered and impossibly fast, thrusting in and out of her swollen cunt and he only realises how far he’s taken things when suddenly he feels her clenching around him, the feeling almost as if his own cock is to be strangled and torn apart from his body. The leg draped around his hips pressing into his backside as to pulling him closer *deeper* inside of her whilst her entire body convulses in spasm. Their lips separate only because, in a jolt of pleasure, her head rolls back letting out his name in a scream. 
With his mouth now on her neck he can’t even remember that’s exactly the spot he fed from just hours before, but the freshness of the wound must be what pokes at his instinct when in a moment his fangs tear at it as his mouth captures her pierced skin and finally he can swallow mouthfuls of the heavenly liquid she carries in her veins.
The flavour of her coating his tongue, just as the spasms of her climax still choke his cock, are the last thing he can grasp onto with any lucidity as his eyes roll in the back of his skull. He’s senselessly thrusting harder and harder into her that if any semblance of reason had been left in his brain he’d know he’s bruising her, but no notion other than chasing that absolutely idyllic promise of untainted pleasure is driving his rough motions now. 
He can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge as the random clenching from her last climactic twitches are tantalising his cock. His fangs instinctively pressing harder onto her flesh as to getting still *deeper* into her is the only vagrancy he can still follow, in every direction, be it flesh or sex.
His focus is such that it’s not until the tip of her tongue barely caresses the outer shell of his pointy ear that he realises she’s back in control of her movements after her climax. The feeling of her soft bite on his earlobe a moment later, on such a sensitive part of his body, is the gate to perdition and with a final thrust he pushes everything he has into her. A white light explodes in his mind as his own orgasm takes control of every jolt and involuntary reaction of his pale, tensed body.
Sparks are inundating his vision and his physical brain, some ecstatic and some as if pure radiant damage is dispersing across his every thought. Any flash and image that ever existed in his mind is simply flooded with the bright, gleaming pleasure that began in his cock and is now dispersing across his skin through the entirety of his body. His hips pressing flush against hers buried as deep as her fragile form allows, an animal marking his territory with his own seed filling her insides.
His skin still tingles from the aftermath of his pleasure when his brain slowly sinks back into his body and feels hers pressed against his as his mouth is still full of her blood springing from her neck
His lips keep latched onto her still, though his blood drawing has stopped, his tongue freely caressing her skin and gently soothing the wound in an attempt to close it again.
Every shallow exhale that leaves her lips still carries a soft moan. As he leaves a kiss on the closed punctures and moves to his elbows to leave her space to breathe he realises his hand is still holding her wrists down in a rock hard grip so tense he almost can't feel his own fingers. 
He drops his grasp and his fingertips go to caress her forehead, her cheeks, swiping her hair aside. 
“You were definitely worth the wait, my sweet… you are perfect… are you alright? Was that… too much?”
With her hands free he feels her fingers run through his own hair now, a soft hum resonating through her chest as her swollen lips, still crimson tinted, pull into a smile, her head shakes slightly before she gently speaks
“Definitely not… I don't think I could ever have enough of you… but now I know my dreams never did you any justice…”
At that he can feel the corner of his own lips pulling, the delicious stinging of his lower lip a delightful reminder of how savage her desire for him was, and that settles his mind upon the only sensation her lovely expression brings to him: bliss.
After placing a soft kiss on her lips he slowly pulls his softening cock out and a unique kind of satisfaction fills him as her body still twitches, a soft sigh exhaled with what sounds like quiet laughter, and as he rolls on his back he pulls her to his chest and he can feel immediately her arm circling to reach his shoulder, her naked leg draping possessively over his.
“You’ll have to tell me more about those dreams my darling… after all… there's nothing you desire that I'm not willing to give…”
His voice leaves the question hanging suggestively and he feels her face pressing, hiding against his chest so that the arm circling her pulls her closer as a soft laugh resonates from his lips. Her soft murmurs let him know he's not going to get that answer now as the tip of her cold nose is now pressed against his own unusually warmer skin. Her breathing is regular and slowing enough that the rhythm lulls his own senses into actual, restful, sleep.
For the first time in his entire existence.
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calypsolemon · 4 months
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You know. Maybe the gems were/are emotionally immature people because the majority of them were born in a society where having emotions and personal desires was literally considered a privilege for the elite, and even the elite could only express them in extreme circumstances. Nobody ever really taught them how to regulate anything they felt whatsoever, and that gaping hole in their development followed them even thousands of years after they defected from their shitty society.
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infizero · 7 months
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you guys dont understand how much splatoon means to me. you will never understand
#will ALWAYS preach it has some of the best worldbuilding in anything i've ever fucking seen#especially in a video game. and ESPECIALLY a video game which isnt purely story-focused#splatoon's world feels so PAINFULLY fucking real its hard to even describe. the level of detail when it comes to LITERALLY everything#is insane. and thats only amplified when you're someone who's been playing it for a long time and has seen this world change in real time#i will always adore how time passes the same in splatoon's world as it does in real life. however long it's been since the last game came#out - thats how long its been in splatoon's world! characters are constantly changing and doing new things and taking on new roles#AND of course. the final splatfests making it so player input has a direct and pivotal effect on the setting and plot of the next game.#SO fucking cool and insane. like what other piece of media is like that#because of things like that and the worldbuilding and everything i also think that splatoon has one of the most seamless transitions#between singleplayer and multiplayer modes. a lot of times in games esp with stories those modes feel very disconnected#but in splatoon things that you do in singleplayer modes have an actual EFFECT on the world of multiplayer#i will never forget. how cool it felt when octo expansion came out and suddenly octolings started popping up in multiplayer#because in the irl sense. of course they were! people were beating that singleplayer mode and unlocking the ability to play as octolings#in multiplayer. but in-universe THIS IS ACTUALLY WHATS HAPPENING!!!! after your agent 8 escapes more octolings follow in their footsteps#and it is an actual noticeable cultural shift in the world of splatoon with it being talked about on the news and stuff#and this story of octolings coming to the surface and integrating into inkling society works perfectly because its not just something#you're hearing about. you are actually seeing IN REAL TIME octolings start to populate the city and matches because REAL PLAYERS are#playing as them. fitting perfectly into that narrative being created. its soooooo fucking good#anyways sorry i just love splatoon so much and i love talking about why its incredible#serena.txt
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david-watts · 1 year
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kinda getting sick of the near daily ‘why don’t you do anything around the place’ argument from a hag who won’t even sneeze in the direction of being patient enough to like. let me do things
#yet alone consider that there might be a system in place for things#like. ok. bins are my job right. I do it closer to tea so that I might get the opportunity to either hide what I'm eating#if it's a frozen item because she yells at me for eating.#which gets annoying after a while lol#or if it's a night I have to get something in I can leave the door unlocked so it's easier because I get yelled at for that too#which I get it's not good for me but she leaves me with one other choice in Not Eating and doing that fucked with me so#I'd rather eat the unhealthy thing than nothing y'know#that's a tangent. anyway#but to her that's awful and bad even though grandpa did the same thing for a similar reason (they'd usually have frozen stuff for tea then)#she's conveniently forgotten that fact and has started doing it herself which for starters iss terrible for her#she's nearly eighty-five she shouldn't be doing that#and because she doesn't know what has to be done she ruins the order of operations#between this and the whole last week's bin scenario just. ugh.#she keeps thinking she's a poverty-stricken farmer when she won't even tend to her own veggies half the time#my m*ther does that!#she'll read about sleep and then yell at us for 'sleeping at the wrong time' and the article'll literally be on differing sleep schedules#being not only normal but ok#if you're not up by eight and home by five you're lazy#she genuinely thinks I spend all day doing nothing when I've been working and like yeah that work is drawing and reading oftentimes#but it's still work I have to get done!#even if i wasn't exhausted by the time we get home because y'know I have five million things wrong with me#I have fibromyalgia. I have pots. that makes me exhausted walking upstairs#I wouldn't be allowed to do any housework because 'it's too late in the day!'#ugh
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purrtal2 · 1 year
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oh yeah i just remembered that i had a dream where fucking leon kennedy showed up to crash a sleepover and started fighting monsters around it. just imagine a circle of teenagers with a bunch of pillows and Leon S Kennedy fighting monsters around them
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sorryimananti-romantic · 10 months
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Ateez as Dads-
collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell who shares the same single braincell as me bc we know we're not the only ones obsessed with the recent ateez x children content
(disclaimer: i don't like babies. but the idea of ateez handling babies? adorable. loren, however, loves kids so here's the outcome)
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Hongjoong
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"hold this thing, i don't know what to do with it."
"that's your child, hongjoong."
looks like the frightened hamster meme when the baby starts crying out of nowhere
sometimes sleeps through the baby crying its lungs out at night LMAO but that's only when he's exhausted asf
bet he'll write a song or two about fatherhood too and you'll be like 'what would you know about it you slept through the night'
may be uncomfortable at times but when he starts bonding, you'll see it in his actions
like when he reforms cute little things like clothings or shoes for his baby, adding little dangly things to the crib
or when he makes cute accessories for the baby
matching reformed things omg
super stylish matching parent-kid duo
the bonding literally happens with the smallest moment like one day the baby is crying in his arms and tugs at his shirt with its little fist and he's done for he loves his kid 10000x more all of a sudden
and when the baby calms down immediately after coming into his arms? he'll die of happiness
and when the baby recognises him in a group of people??? new level of dad unlocked
literally melts whenever the kid runs across the room to fly into his arms or calls him daddy
paints the room for his kid and gives them a wall in their room to paint whatever they like
lets the kid paint his nails and they could even have that one matching painted fingernail omg
later when the kid grows up they'll have uv lights and like the latest stuff for nails but you bet hongjoong's gonna dry that nail paint by blowing on it-
literally the most supportive, allowing the kid to explore beyond conventional boundaries and guiding them along
also very attentive esp when they start growing up and observing
he'll make sure he answers all of their curious little questions to the best of their understanding
and surprisingly, he won't mind his kid in his studio
like how adorable is it when you find your kid in his lap, sharing earphones as he composes?
he just loves it when they sit on him or when they lie down next to him/on top of him when he's resting that's his therapy
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Seonghwa
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more of a mother than the real mother
knows exactly what to do like he's raised six kids already (i'm looking at you ateez)
wakes up at ass o clock in the morning to shush the crying baby so you can get some sleep :')
mother-coded that's what he is
you'll definitely be learning motherhood from him LMAO
but jokes aside he's actually the best partner you could have asked for in such a situation
he's so so patient with the kid and you
esp you
he understands when you're overwhelmed and when you need a break
so he's always willing to give you some space and takes care of the kid in the meanwhile which is so :')
so you try your best to return it to him in every way as well <3
you'll both be figuring this journey out together and that's the best part
bonds with the kid so good
esp when they start going to school and he literally can't wait for them to get home so he can hear about how their day was
lives for the gossip he gets from his kids about school too LOL
he'll be like yass give me the tea come on
also pretty much behaves like a kid when he's having a good time with his kids
like he goes 'no it's my turn to select the ice cream flavour you have to try this you'll love it i'm not hearing a no-'
kids teach him new slangs but you bet he'll stick to the good old 'no cap' and 'yeet'
gets matching stupid stuff like those green alien glasses for him and the kid-
you just know your kids will love him more than you and you accept it. you don't mind that at all bc he's such a lovable person
he'll always be running around the house with them trying to catch them or letting them catch him
they will watch animated movies together and draw together and make legos together they're gonna share that obsession
he's there. always. in every moment of their life :')
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Yunho
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curious to learn
but that doesn't stop him from playing with the baby like they're a toy boi has no fear
he's always gushing over how small and cute and adorable they are
he'll also be a bit scared at first to hold the baby in his arms but will get used to it real quick
loves feeding them and cleaning them with you
he's got some sort of magic to him too he can soothe a crying baby in seconds
plays with them/holds them like they're a cat/puppy
gives them rides on his shoulders and they love it you can hear their laughter ring around the house
teases you about how they look nothing like you but if they do look like you more, he'll be scanning them for one similarity that he can boast about.
"he's got my smile. see?"
loves playing with their hair and combing and styling it
also loves it when you all match unintentionally when going out
the type to play with the kids in the most unconventional ways when you're not looking
almost accidentally drops the baby at least once a week- i said ALMOST okay he's good at catching.
kids cling on to his long legs and he effortlessly walks like no big deal omgg
would even swing his legs like an amusement ride which might possibly earn a scream from you-
also once used the laundry basket as a rollercoaster for the kid. you can imagine how that ended. no living beings were harmed tho-
HE'S A FUN DAD OK
literally his kids are always running around him asking him to do sth fun with them or tell them jokes or play with him
teaches the kids the latest trends
makes dancing tik toks with them
he's actually also the super responsible dad, always dependable. you literally have nothing to worry about esp bc he can be serious when he needs to be
he allows the kids to take challenges, believing the kids need to grow at their own pace and that getting hurt is also a part of growing up
teaches them to be kind, to respect people, to always smile
goes on dates with them to the amusement parks, aquariums, carnivals etc and when they're older they go fishing or go-karting
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Yeosang
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(sincerely apologise for using a photo with alcohol in a post with babies BUT DOES HE NOT LOOK BABY HERE???)
the babiest of dads
googles whatever the baby does as if that will give him the answer
notices every little thing the baby does
follows instructions like a robot
forgets that the baby is actually a baby and they can't really do their stuff themselves so he has to do it for them-
like for example after a meal he clears the high chair and forgets he needs to help the baby off the chair until it wails LOL
is always worrying about what the baby is feeling esp when it is crying without a reason
always fusses about the little things bc he cares so much :')
sometimes you have to sit him down and tell him that it's okay if the baby is crying-
he even enjoys simply watching the baby esp when they do stupid stuff or play around with food
"that's disgusting but so adorable"
gets taught the latest trends by his kid but still ends up using them in the wrong contexts lmao
yeosang and the kid wailing about the mom on their way home until yeo takes the wrong turn and the kid glares at him and points to the right direction
yeosang and the kid in the shopping mall and yeosang gets lost
goes to the counter to pay but taps his pockets bc he can't find his wallet and the kid sighs loudly and hands it to him
yeosang taking his kid to the parent teacher meeting and he forgets HE'S the parent
he may be forgetful and zone out at times but he's actually very responsible. you never worry whenever you leave your kid with him and go out. you can depend on him <3
you'll see him mature as his kids grow up too, like you can literally see him learning fatherhood
doesn't mean they won't open dexter's laboratory when you're gone and clean up the mess before you come-
sees cute posts about lunchboxes with octopus sausage and seaweed characters on the rice but canNOT replicate it even after spending hours but the kids flaunt it like a masterpiece at their school <3 (loren you're so right for this)
his kids' friends WILL have a crush on yeosang. the teachers might too. how could you not??
his kids gon be the prettiest istg-
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San
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i'm sorry to break it to you but you'll have to take care of two babies <3
as loren said 'normal children learn behaviours from their parents. san learns behaviours from the baby.'
pretends to cry when the baby is crying so he can also receive hugs and kisses from you
he's actually the most responsive father ever, like he'll know what's actually happening with the kid instead of pretending to know
it's like he's connected to them on an astral level
so he's pretty much a natural caretaker
like he said, he knows how to give love
so he'll never make you feel less loved as well
he'll keep reassuring you how imp you are to him esp now that you're the mother of his child and he'll always be grateful to you for bringing this blessing into his life
but he also has his moments LMAO like i can just imagine him playing with the kid in the most babiest of manners
to the point the kid refuses to listen to you
the kids will always ALWAYS choose him whenever they're asked the 'who do you love more mom or dad' question
and even though that makes you pissed momentarily bc pls who wouldn't get pissed you find it super adorable how much your kids love their dad
safe place.
tells his kids early on what's good and what's bad. no compromises
teaches them when to be sorry and when to stand up for themselves
taekwondo together <3 he'll make them show off at family events or stuff and demand that the audience give good reactions otherwise he's gonna pout sooo hard
he'll make sure his kids don't laze around. chores? yes. exercise? yes. nap-time? necessary. homework? don't even dare to say no. play-time? HELL YES
teaches traditional games to his kids too and makes them interact with other kids to play instead of video games so early on
the video games are HIS okay they can't touch it until they grow up
kids go to him for help in school work and he'll sit there all zoned out wondering when the hell this got included in their syllabus
will refuse to give up until you catch him tired and scratching his head in confusion
"i'm pretty sure education gets tougher every year."
"whatever helps you sleep at nights san <3" LOL
loves spending time together, all of you, anywhere as long as you all are together <3
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Mingi
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9/10 times will cry when the baby cries
but also really good at taking care of them and it amazes him too
calms the baby down with the cutest most concerned face ever so he looks more baby than the baby
pretends to sleep when the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night
until you poke his stomach and go 'don't you fucking dare' and he starts laughing helplessly
but then takes the reins and lets you sleep if you look too done <3
jokingly tries to gaslight you into thinking it's your turn to settle the baby but you bet you're keeping tabs too
but when he sees how tired you look, he'll never ever complain no matter how tired he may be himself. will even tuck YOU into bed
the type to sit in the lounge with some kid's show on with the kid itself and you give him snacks to feed the kid
but at some point he got a taste and now he's looking at the packaging and going 'this shit good' when it's actually some baby-friendly snack 😭
and then suddenly it's all gone and the kid is glaring at mingi with angry eyes 😭😭 and he's like pleasure is temporary my child-
but now he has his own fav baby snacks too.
does freestyle rapping about the misery of fatherhood LMAO
also does lame stuff like tapping on the baby's shoulder and when they turn to look at him he has his finger out so it pokes the baby's cheek like-
gets matching shades for him and the kid
hangs out with them a lot, even if it's inside
hears every story they have to tell but also they just looooveee to hear stories from him bc he's a good storyteller
even though half of the shit is made up but he pretends it actually happened-
"one time i saw your mom ugly crying in a shop. i asked her what the matter was. she saw me and fell in love instantly."
"wasn't it the other way?"
loves swinging his kids in his arms whenever he comes home and then you stand there all pouty and he runs after you-
can't scold kids to save himself. can never. always bursts out laughing whenever he glares at them. so you do that for him.
now you're the antagonist in the house
can't handle when his kids are being adorable like he'll just clutch his heart and pretend to faint
best father-kid dynamic bc he's the playful but responsible dad
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Wooyoung
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he's a natural at this come on
"i feel like he's more my sibling than my own child"
always has his baby in his arms to the point you have to snatch it from him bc you can see he's tired
takes care of everything- from bathing them to feeding them. he's so good at it too
you love him even more bc he may tease you to bits but you never thought he'd be a cooperative lovable menace too
talks to the baby in baby language and they actually hold conversations
and when you join he'll just make fun of you LOL
starts treating you like a baby too when you're tired and you're not sure you hate that you might actually start doing it on purpose too-
taught the kid the art to charm people so they're throwing random cheeky compliments around
like they'll go to a shop and the kid will compliment the shopkeeper and they'll be like omg so precious and hand freebies
and those freebies would be wooyoung's earnings btw aint no way the kid gon have those
will train a family of cutest loveable menaces :')
the chef dad
creates masterpiece lunchboxes for his kids that even the teachers are tempted to steal
i can just imagine the girl friend (also crush) of wooyoung's son at school having a big fat crush on wooyoung and wanting to marry him like come on😭😭
then the son gets super grumpy about it and woo sits him down and asks what's bothering him
then he'll teach him how to bake cookies and the son ends up sweeping the girl off her feet omgg
woo placing his hands over his kid's hands bc they're too small to properly hold the piping bag when they decorate cakes and cookies and cupcakes
them playing in the kitchen and throwing flour on each other and you come and look all smugly at woo bc yes you're gonna clean this mess later on
but you end up joining them :')
dolls up his kids and asks them to kiss him on both his cheeks before they leave
and you bet the kids love that routine
hugs. all the time. hugs.
makes sure to capture these moments for memories if you haven't already and he'll love looking back at these days <3
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Jongho
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best dad
makes sure he doesn't forget to take care of you as you take care of the baby :')
always gets surprised when the baby does sth new
priceless reactions from him, esp when the baby first says a comprehensible word or takes its first steps
always spreading his arms whenever he spots the baby so the baby can crawl/walk/run to him
swings them in the air and does those little throws
the strong dad. the one who's carrying the kids effortlessly- one on the shoulder, one under the arm, walking as if they weigh nothing
jongho's kid: hi i'm hungry
jongho: hi hungry, i'm dad
overuses every dumb dad joke ever to exist but still finds it super hilarious and sometimes you'll end up laughing along
"back in my days-"
"ah shit here we go again."
bc you know dad jokes aside he's actually a super funny guy when he wants to be
the type to team up with his kid to tease YOU
whispers shit in their ears like 'go pull out your mom's hairclip as revenge for her not letting us hang out in the snow with ice cream last night' when you're super occupied and gets a good laugh out of it
taps your shoulder and then looks away when you glare at him but ends up pointing at the kid like the kid's the one who did it-
when the two are a giggling mess it's hard to differentiate who's the actual kid from the parent
sings with his kids a lot. might vocally train them a bit too
road trips are gonna be so much more fun when everyone's singing at the top of their lungs
when his kid is older and starts to get school assignments that require some form of art like creating a model or designing a poster, his kid is definitely going to score an A because jongho can and WILL help and end up over-achieving LOL
will plan with his kids on days like valentine's or mother's day or anniversary, prepare to get serenaded by the lot
he involves them a lot in everything so they grow up super smart
loves doing stupid things with the kids too like he'll literally be the one following the kids at times
but you love it bc you never have to worry about anything with him ;-; <3 he's also super protective
unless there's a bug in front of you. then you're all on your own.
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neo-nomatrix · 11 months
Text
Drunk words are sober thoughts
Hobie Brown x reader
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Part three of the My Nuisance mini series. Find the other parts here
word count: 959
Synopsis: Hobie forgets everything he told you last night. Thank you @good-so for the inspo!!
When you woke up Hobie was gone. You were surprised you didn’t hear his obnoxious boot buckles clicking when he left. In fact you were surprised he left at all. He basically confessed his love and the fact he was Spiderman to you last night.
You needed time to process everything, make sure none of it was a fever dream. As soon as you woke up (and gathered your thoughts) you trudged over to Hobies flat. You knocked on the door similar to how Hobie always did, part of you was angry that he had left you but you would rather die than let him know he got to you.
“Hobie? You in there?!” You yell pressing your ear against the door.
As you lean into the door it opens up, he had left the door unlocked and didn’t even fully close it. You stepped into the rather dark flat and admired the decorations. He had a way of making everything look like a punk rock magazine, despite the chaos it was cleaner than you had anticipated. You searched throughout the flat trying to find him but it was clear he wasn’t there.
Eventually you came across a small box decorated with photos of the London bridge and bright colors. You didn’t mean to snoop around, really, but you just couldn’t help yourself. Inside were five things: three letters, a ring, and a necklace. You had recognized the ring and necklace, they were yours. You had lost both of them by mistake about a week ago but assumed they were long gone. As you thought about it more you realized something like that happened often, you would lose something of yours and a week later they would up outside of your door with a note attached to it.
Usually saying “You’re quite clumsy, love - Hobie”
It hadn’t occurred to you why he had found so many of your things until now.
You looked at one of the letters, and sure enough it said “You just keep losing stuff don’t you? Good thing i’m here to save the day -Hobie” You smile to yourself thinking about the fact that he would probably give you this tomorrow.
The second letter was from you. The first time you had ever told him to turn down his music. As you read it you realized how much you had changed from the first time you met him. You were so polite in the letter, the fact you had taped a letter to his door instead of screaming at him was polite in itself. After that first letter you don’t think you have ever said “please” and “thank you.” From then on it was mostly you stomping over to his flat and yelling while he stood there amused.
The last letter was addressed to you. And it was double sided, either this boy has a lot of baggage or he was really in love with you. You felt awful reading it though. You started at the first words for a while “For my Love,” until the lights switched on.
“You’re breaking into my house now? That’s cheeky init?” He smirked. God he is so stupid, and what British person actually says init?
“The door was open. I was… just checking to see no one like a robber had broken in,” you replied.
“Right, and you also wanted to make sure that box wasn’t broken into?” he replied.
You immediately set it down.
“I haven’t read any of it, promise,” you smiled
“Yet, you haven't read any of it yet,” he finished for you.
“So, about last night?” you bring up. Hoping he’ll want to talk about it.
“Right… uhm, i don’t really remember any of it? So whatever i said don’t pay any attention. I’m a compulsive liar when I get wasted,” he shrugs.
Oh. He didn’t remember anything he said. And he’s also a dunk liar. Cute. You were still slightly convinced he’s spiderman, though. He showed you the suit and the mask, which weren’t exactly replicas to your knowledge. And trust, you knew your spiderman suit replicas. But the other stuff?
The stuff about you hurting his feelings and him being in love with you? Yeah, you were almost one hundred percent sure those were lies. You don’t know why you were convinced with one but not the other. You just did.
“Yeah, of course,” you looked sad.
“But I should get going,” you said after a moment of silence.
“Right, we’ll uhm, see you,” he said.
You nodded before looking down at the ground, walking off without being able to look into his eyes.
You shut the door to your flat faster than you ever have before.
“Oh my lord,” you whispered to yourself.
Gods, if that wasn’t the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you. You didn’t even know what you were thinking, you had to be mental, right? Going into Hobies flat while he wasn’t around? And he caught you? You could never show your face again.
While you’re in your flat panicking your mind out, Hobie is filled with anxiety. He’s racking his brain trying to remember what happened last night and why he woke up in your bed. Did he say something horrible? Did he confess his deepest secrets to you? The answer was yes, but he didn’t know that yet. He only left early because Miguel had pinged his watch with some stupid mission.
“The fate of the multiverse is at stake,” or something like that.
He knew he had to talk to you again. Picking up the box he pulled out the ring. Admiring the way it glimmered in the fluorescent lights.
Throwing away the note that came with it, he knew exactly how to start a conversation.
Taglist!! @clown420cunt @good-so @anonima-2 @gh0stsp1d3r @miracleboylene @natthernandez @frenchbaddie @loislucky @juo6uvr @gaychaosgremlin @skiedrr @the-golden-goldie @hellok1ttycake @theleftkittycollection @xbl00dy-r0s3x @diamondroxypie
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deadghosy · 3 months
Text
HOW THEY REACT TO CHILD READER GETTING BULLIED:
Various x GN! CHILD READER
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LUCIFER
You were in your chamber holding your busted up backpack as your father comes in happy to see his little angel after school. As he walks in your room he sees your deflated attitude as it affects him as well.
“What’s wrong darling?”
Is what he says as he keeps a calm posture until reveal to him that you are getting by the kids. You told him how the teachers don’t do shit for you as they only watch you get bullied and give shitty advice for you to only ignore them and not do anything as they do stuff to you.
Well, that drives your father, the king himself, THE BIG BOSS OF HELL HIMSELF TO FUMES!
His eyes turning a flashing red as the next thing you know he poofed into a red mist.
You were confused until you heard screaming outside, you checked your big window to see your school in flames. And holy shit….the worse teacher is on fire as Lucifer chuckles saying.
“DONT FUCK WITH MY CHILD!”
He calmed down when he came back home telling you gently that you are now home schooled. He also brings you your favorite ice cream.
ALASTOR
Alastor hums walking through the hotel’s hallway until he hears sniffles of yours.
Alastor opens your door confused with a small smile to see his little doe curled up like a ball on your bed
“My doe…what’s wrong?”
The moment you mutter that you are getting picked on. They’re already dead.
Like literally he sends his shadows to kill them. He doesn’t care as long as you feel safe and sound.
He might as well home school you as well with the help of Charlie teaching you things beside him.
ADAM
I HARDLYYYYY doubt that there are bullies in heaven as heaven isn’t for sinners or such as people who act rude as hell.
But let’s just say you get bullied for not getting your wings yet and you come home mad and ashamed for even being an angel.
Adam was on his Xbox seeing his own child stomp off to their room, he raises a brow going to your room.
“Yo kiddo. What’s up with you, little shit?” He asked as he knocks on your door only for you to yell at him to leave you alone. Adam scoffs and unlocks your door pissed off.
“Who the fuck you think you’re…yelling at?” He stops seeing your tear filled face as you cover yourself under your blanket. He actually looks concerned and sits on your bed awkwardly not knowing how to comfort you but he pats your back as you nuzzle against his larger Frame of your father.
You told him what happened and he is pissed but not raged. He starts to lecture you about how you are the dickmaster’s child, so you should show them how fucking powerful you are.
He also tells sera about this so she can get them a punishment about how be a perfect angel.
CHARLIE
You straight up told her you were getting bullied for having two moms. And she took this to the principal of the school as the princess, future queen probably of hell.
Let’s say the principal didn’t give a fuck. So okay maybe she got big mad and almost spit fire at the lady in charge of your school. But she exited that school letting you treat yourself with ice cream and treats.
She decided to homeschool you with VAGGIE and the other hotel staff to teach you things they know.
“Mommy has a treat for you!”
It was the best day ever for you as you felt happy to spending time with your mom.
Maybe it won’t be bad to be homeschooled
VAGGIE
You got bullied for the same reason.
Having two awesome gay moms. Of course you told your mom straight up as she nodded scheduling to meet the kid’s parents. She’s not backing down like a pussy cause she wants to know why they want to bully her kid.
After the little conference filled of yelling and berating to the point vaggie thrown a pocket knife pass a person (pilot reference) she left picking you off fuming with steam.
Of course Charlie calmed her down and suggested you either get homeschooled or find a better school. Which VAGGIE will agree either way with one of them.
“Let’s go home kiddo. Your momma is making your favorite…”
“YAYY!”
ANGEL DUST
He obviously didn’t know what to do.
You got bullied by your peers as one of the older kids figured out that your father is an adult actor. I mean damn. You fought back saying that you didn’t care and he stilled loved you.
But then your ass got cracked and you had to tell your father
Angel dust just takes you out of school and let’s Charlie teach you things so he can figure out how to make you feel safe at another school of such
“DONT worry kid. I’ll figure a way for me to a shame to you.
“But you aren’t! I love you papa!”
HUSK
You’re getting bullied?
Bet.
Literally he isn’t gonna do shit, he is just gonna go to that school obverse and single them out for bullying his child. He doesn’t give a shit if it’s a kid as well.
He might as well be the kinda of dad that lets you fight your own battles. But he can’t let you just come home crying about how shitty your school is.
“Wanna chill with your old man?”
“Sure pops…”
PENTIOUS
Sir Pentious was bringing you cookies like the one he made for Lucifer. He hums happily with his egg boiz behind him. He walks in your room to see one of his egg boiz, Frank patting your back while you cry softly.
“DONT worry lil boss. I think you’re amazing!” Frank says as Pentious was confused and sit the cookies down. Your snake father asked what was wrong when you told him what happened after school.
Pentious pufffs out his chest as he kisses your head and leaves the hotel to talk to Charlie about this event. Charlie have a decent answer to either talk to the kids parents or homecschool at least. But Pentious felt like that wasn’t enough.
So he bombed their houses with his egg boiz as he came back to the hotel to see Frank and you eating snacks Charlie and vaggie made you to feel better. Your snake father slithered next to you and pats your head.
“Now they shall never bother you again!” *evil laughter*
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steveharringtonat3am · 2 months
Note
Imagine drummer!steve teaching you to play the drums?? He has you sit in his lap and guides your hands and totally does not get hard from feeling you shift around! He’s such a sweetie you know he gets excited whenever something you do sounds good!
allusions to smut at the end!
kinda a part two to this fic but this can be read on its' own!
You aren’t quite sure what Steve and you are. You’re pretty sure you’re not dating but you’re also pretty sure neither of you are interested in anyone else. The two of you have been having lots of fun, both in and outside the bedroom.
After your hookup, you honestly expected to never hear from Steve again. Sure, you had a mutual friend but he just seemed to be more of a one night stand kind of guy. He had mentioned a proper date but the more you thought about it, the more it seemed to be a formality offer. Something you say after fucking someone in a bar bathroom so they don’t feel cheap.
Of course, that wasn’t a very comforting thought.
But luckily for you, he did end up calling. He got your number from Robin, who was now filled in on what happened and consequently rewarded with copious amounts of candy in exchange for minimal teasing.
The proper date hadn’t happened just yet but you’d been having your fair share of fun.
‘You busy?’ Your screen lights up with the text. His name is saved as ‘Steve🥁’ which he had insisted upon when you added his contact to your phone.
It’s around 4 in the afternoon on a Saturday which isn’t an unusual time to receive a text from Steve but they’re not usually this vague.
‘Not at all. Why?’ You can already sense the invite, pulling yourself off the couch and heading to your room.
‘Wanna see you. Meet me at the bar? The door’s unlocked for you’. This is what catches your attention. You know that bars’ hours pretty well by now, having gone a few times to see Steve play but you’ve never gone at this time because it’s never been open this early. You know he’s not talking about a hookup since those always occur either in his apartment or yours.
You hop in the shower to wash the morning off, keeping your hair dry since you don’t need to wash it. You dress casual-ish, still unsure of the vibe but you can’t go wrong with jeans and a t-shirt. Doing a quick makeup routine, you throw on your shoes and drive over to the bar.
Sure enough, the door is unlocked. It’s completely empty, lights illuminating areas you’d never noticed.
“Hey!” Steve appears from backstage. He’s wearing a tight black t-shirt and sweatpants that you have to tear your eyes away from.
“Hi! You wanna tell me what we’re doing here?”
“Sure. You know how you told me you always wanted to learn how to play the drums? Ta-da” He gestures to the drum set next to him.
“…That was more of a compliment on how you play the drums because I wanted more kisses. Not a real want.” His grin doesn’t waver as he gestures you over.
“It’ll be fun, I promise.” Your feet carry you over as the nerves sink in. What if you’re horrible and he decides you aren’t a good match? You hadn’t admitted it yet but you did really like him and you didn’t want to lose him so soon.
“I’m gonna suck you know that right?”
“You can’t suck because I’m the one teaching you and I don’t suck.” He sits infront of the drums and tugs you into his lap.
“Now I get why you wanted to teach me.” You grin as you adjust yourself on his lap. His grip on your hips tighten and you suddenly remember being in a very similar position a few days ago.
“Behave.” He mumbles into your ear, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder when you stop moving.
He passes you the sticks, covering your hands with his to show you the proper grip. You try your hardest to listen but he’s quite distracting.
“How about I show you some simple stuff and you try to replicate it, yeah?” You nod in response. Steves hands cover yours as he starts a slow beat. It sounds just barely familiar, like something you’ve heard him practice.
He pauses after a minute, letting go of your hands. You have to bite back a complaint as you attempt to recreate what he did. It’s kind of like those memory games you used to play as a kid.
“You got it!” He kisses your cheek, arms wrapped around your waist. It’s such a sweet hug that you just melt into it. You turn in his lap, legs swinging over to straddle him.
“Thank you for teaching me.” You mumble, kissing him softly.
“Isn’t that what boyfriends are for?” The word is dropped so casually you almost don’t register it.
“You’re my boyfriend?”
“…Shit did I forget to ask? Oh I knew this would happen.” He smiles sheepishly at your shocked expression.
“You forgot?” You ask incredulously.
“I was going to ask you that day we went to the farmers market I swear!” He can’t contain his laughter, hiding his face in your shoulder.
“Well, I would love to be your girlfriend.” You tug his face up, kissing him gently.
“Great!! Now let’s go to the dressing rooms!” He stands up, arms tight around you so you don’t fall as you’re forced to stand as well. He barely bothers to grab his stuff as he tugs you backstage.
”Why?” You hurry behind him, his urgency practically carrying you.
”You’re gonna sit on my lap again. But this time we won’t be wearing clothes.”
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thefunkfactory · 1 month
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The Fog
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Felix knew he shouldn’t go outside, it wasn’t safe. All the news stations in the area were constantly broadcasting that a fog has swept into the valley and since it appeared four days ago people have been going missing. The rumor is that there are monsters in the fog, people can hear groans and grunts out in the fog but anyone who has gone to explore where they are coming from has been consumed by the fog and hasn’t come back out. The weirdest thing of all is that the fog is green, its a light green color that has a lingering stench which has been slowly filling the house Felix is holding up in. Felix was with his girlfriend at her place when the fog came through, he was going to just head home after it cleared but it has been days and it hasn’t let up. At one point Felix was just going to walk home, given that he lived only a twenty minute walk from her place, but when he opened the door the fog started to rush in and fill the foyer with a rancid smell. Quickly closing the door he moved away from the stench, but that was two days ago and he needs to go take care of his cat, his roomate normally does when he isn’t home but with people going missing he can't be sure that anyone is there to watch Mittens. His girlfriend pleaded with him not to go out but Felix gathered all his stuff anyways. To make her feel better, and truthfully to make him feel a bit better, he went and found a face mask in her bathroom. Now ready to go he headed over to his place promising to return, he would come back with some food and water, and Mittens, if all goes off without a hitch.
During the walk which felt like it took forever, as he wandered through the thick green fog that limited his vision to just a foot or two in front of him, Felix could constantly hear the groaning and grunts that the news stations mentioned. They were accompanied with sounds of metal clanging and what sounded like deep, dull laughter. Luckily the entire journey was uninterrupted, Felix made it to his apartment in perfect condition. Coming up to the lobby of the building Felix could see that the glass doors were smashed and the fog filled the common area. Worrying for his furry friend he hurried over the shattered glass on the floor and through the lobby to the stairwell, not wanting to take a chance with the elevator. Walking through the lobby he heard it again, a low, guttural groan that sounded closer than all the others he heard on the way over. Looking around fearfully, he saw a huge monstrous sized man stretched out on the floor stirring in his sleep. Hastening his step Felix made it to the stairwell and rushed up the stairs to the fourth floor.
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Coming upon his fourth floor apartment he was struck with a sense on confusion as he went to unlock the door to find it was left a little ajar. Quietly going inside, he sees the kitchen is much messier than normal, there are clothes all over the floor, and half the shoes on the shoe rack are at least a size 13. Searching around for his cat and trying to make as little noise as possible he comes up to his roommate's closed door, about to open it without thinking he looks down quickly and sees wisps of the smoke coming out of the room. Not wanting to reenter the fog, Fleix leaves the door closed and heads to the bathroom to continue the search. As he searches high and low in the bathroom, unbeknownst to him, the roommate’s door opens and Felix’s roommate comes out to find the source of the noise that is disturbing his nap. “What are you doing in my apartment pipsqueak?” Felix hears from behind him, “Andy! Thank god you're here! I can't find Mittens anywhere!” Felix says, turning around as he mentions Mittens. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Felix blurts out having turned around and been met with a huge hunk who is big enough to look like he could have eaten his roommate and smells like he just farted his roommate back out…
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“Broooooooo” Andy groans “Who are you? This isn’t your place mannnnn. And why are you looking for Mittens? Mittens is my boyfriend's cat.”, “This IS my place and you don’t live here! I think you are in the wrong place!” Felix says scared to death of the huge stranger just a few feet away. “Huhuhuh you sound just like my roommate bro, you kinda look like him too, just…ya know he is more like me” Andy tells him, completely ignoring what he just said. “Eh whatever” Andy shrugs, “I think it’s time for you to go” Andy starts moving forward and reaches out to Felix. Felix tries to duck from the outstretched hand but his lithe movement doesn’t best the giant’s brute force, grabbing Felix by the shoulder Andy pulls Felix away and out of the bathroom and starts towards the door. Being pulled closer to the hunk Felix catches more than just a whiff of his funk. Between gags Felix pleads “PLEASE! PLEASE! NO THIS IS MY APARTMENT I NEED TO FIND MY CAT!” feeling pity on the weakling he is holding Andy bestows mercy upon Felix. “Uhhh okay sure you can look for your dumb cat but I'm gonna just stay here and watch.” Andy says audibly annoyed. Without saying a word he began looking around again for Mittens hoping he can find her before this reeking giant behind him loses his patience. After about ten minutes of looking, the entire time he can hear the hunk constantly fiddling around, making sounds of annoyance, and chuckling every time he belches out a blast of bad breath. Felix finally ends up in his roommate's bedroom, being the last place to look.
As Felix searches around in the blinding fog he finds the source of it, Andy left his window open and the fog has just been filling the room for days now. Mittens probably got out through the window. He starts to worry he wont find his cat. Felix hears the hunk clear his throat and say to himself “I'm bored, I want my boyfriend.” Felix feels his large sweaty hand grab the nape of his neck once more and before Felix can say a word he lifts Felix up and rips the mask off of him. “NO I NEED THA-“ Buh-UUUuuuuurpppp
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The hunk belches right into Felix’s open mouth. Being completely caught off guard by this show of masculine power, he gasps in suddenly filling his lungs with the dense, stinking fog and the giants horrid breath. Immediately having a violent coughing fit from the unnatural scent that has just penetrated into his body, the giant drops the scrawny bro to the floor. Felix can't help but inhale more fog as he tries to stop the coughing, as the fog fills more of his lungs it slowly also begins to fill the rest of his body. It fills his feet enlarging them so that they’re able to hold up a mass of muscle like the one who has just subjected him to this torture, his legs grow massive and muscley as his ass begins to inflate along side his legs. Felix’s hole begins to loosen up and his cheeks grow in respectable, hairless, beach balls that lightly clap behind him with every step. In the front a transformation was also occurring, changing Felix’s long. cut skinny-boy-dick into a shorter but chubbier uncut, cheesy, schlong. Felix’s tummy changes just a little, turning from a tough four pack into a soft tummy perfect for filling up from behind or resting your head on after a sensual “exercise” session. Felix tried to grab his stomach as it changed, as if that would stop the transformation. As Felix clutched his stomach his chest began to inflate into soft pecs more akin to pillows than true pectorals. And his arms followed suit, expanding into fatty tissue more than muscled mounds, soft and pliable muscles that are still capable of lifting up boulders. Felix felt a wild itching sensation in both of his armpits at the same time, as he moved one of his small hands to hopefully cease the itching he was met with a forest of hair invading his once always shaven pits. Shocked by this he ripped his hand away for just a second. Immediately his hands, much like his feet enlarged, his fingers fattened up and expanded and his palms became hugely swollen compared to his previously dainty hands. Felix felt his coughing die down and thinking he would finally be able to catch his breath was again caught off guard by another coughing attack. All while this is happening, standing above the himbofying Felix is the hunk that started the transformation, watching silently and groping his own cheesy, unwashed dick. Felix in the grasps of his second coughing fit heard his nose crack and felt it shift into a new form, changing from a longer nose with a more rounded end into a shorter, flatter nose, perfect for sticking it into an unwashed armpit or smelly crotch. He felt his eyes become slimmer and his eyebrows grow more hair than ever, and he felt as his mouth transformed into a perfect set of teeth holding back a large thick tongue perfectly for cleaning the funk off of someone’s feet. Keeping the newly minted tongue and teeth hidden was a pair of lips inflating into the best dick sucking lips ever. Felix could feel his sharp, cut jaw expand into a squarer and softer jawline that melted into his ever growing neck that needed to match the intake his plump lips would now be inviting. The last change was his hair as it turned from cute light brown curls into a mop of dark brown hair that crowned Felix’s perfect himbo body.
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Felix, unable to escape the coughing fit, felt a throbbing in his head as he continued to writhe around on the floor of the fog-filled bedroom. His giant hands moved to grasp his big manly head. The fog had finally begun melting away his brain. Seeing this happen the hunk hovering above him got between Felix’s thunder thighs and unbuttoned Felix’s khakis, suctioning his mouth onto Felix's unwashed himbo dick, the giant began to suck which alleviated Felix’s throbbing headache. For a second the thought came across Felix’s mind that this stranger shouldn’t be sucking him off like this, but just as quickly as the thought came to him, he felt it sucked down and out of his brain. He felt this happening for all the thoughts he kept having about what was happening to him, but all of them kept disappearing until Felix simply stopped thinking and let blissful stupidity take over his mind. Soon the stupidity began to encroach onto pre-existing knowledge, Felix’s knowledge of advanced mathematical formulas got sucked into his sack and replaced with knowledge of how to douche and knowledge of physics melted down into cum and instead was replaced with knowledge of how to move his ass and hips to make his bros cum quicker. Soon not a single intelligent thought would be left behind, all replaced with dumb, gay thoughts making Felix the perfect fucktoy. The last thought Felix would have was “Why do I know so much gay stuffffff…Does my girlfriend like this?” Before he could even comprehend an answer his memories would start to dissolve into his sticky white seed. His years spent taking advanced courses in school turned into every summer being spent in summer school, him taking his girlfriend’s virginity became his ass being filled for the first time by his boyfriend Andy, and the years spent training to try and be a D1 Soccer player turned into wrestling other sweaty guys for hours every day. Soon just like his thoughts and knowledge every memory would be lost to the sticky sea in his balls. As the pressure in his brain built to its peak Felix felt his hips begin to buck into his boyfriend’s mouth, soon all that was Felix before he was himbofied was churning in his balls and then shot into the smelly hunk sucking on his dick, his once bright brown eyes fading like his brain into a dim, dull brown. With that the dazed himbo lays on the floor catching his breath. Getting up first Andy reches down and grabs Felix’s hand lifting him up, and in one swift motion lifts Felix’s arm into the air revealing his armpit. Leaning in for a sniff Andy forces his nose right into the forest of dark hair. Only catching a whiff of cheap AXE body spray, Andy pushes his boyfriend back onto his ass and pulls his own sweatpants down revealing his ass. “Wha-?” PFFFFBBBBTTTTT Felix starts to say as he is met with a direct hit to the face with a potent stream of gas. Becoming super dazed Felix barely knows what just happened as he is hit with another, this time wetter blast BWOMPPFFFFF. Having his hair pushed back Felix feels the stench cover his entire body, assisted by the fog and ass blast Felix finishes the last part of his himbofication. Felix’s large feet are incapable of wafting off any scent other than the buttery funk that has corrupted all of his shoes and the scent of the apartment. The gas going into Felix’s body through his mouth and nose reaches Felix’s gut giving it the ability to release butt blasts and malodorous burps. His armpits fill in with the purest himbo-stink, which quite literally contributes to the fog's green hue and absolutely rotten scent.
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“Heh-Heh! Babe your butt stinks something awfullll” Felix dully says. Pulling up Felix once more Andy smells Felix’s armpit and grimaces and then dim-witted laughter burst out “Huhuhuhuhuh! You smell worse than my farts on a good day right now babe!” Andy kisses Felix and lets out a little burp into his mouth as he does so. “Huhuh. We really should help spread the fog to some un-himbofied weaklings around town.” Andy whispered to Felix. Thinking hard for a second, it slowly comes to Felix, the address he just came from is floating around in his brain, “Huhuh, just follow me babe, I know a place” Felix says to Andy. They both leave the bedroom and go grab their shoes on the shoe rack, now all the shoes are a comically large size and all reek of movie theater butter and a teenager boy’s feet that haven’t been washed in months. Slipping on the shoes without socks to maximize their stink Felix leads the way out of the apartment.
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Text
give me a minute (1/2) | chef luca
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pairing: chef luca x ex-wife!reader word count: 4.7k warnings: established former relationship, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, discussions of separation and divorce, luca and reader has a son, unresolved sexual tension 👀 notes: this fic has been the bane of my existence for the last couple of months or so. it all started as a simple thought of "ooh it would be fun to have a steamy smut with ex!luca" and then it turns into a whole thing with like proper angst and stuff lol. this will be split into two parts, and i think i need encouragement to finish the second part. so please enjoy this first part and tell me what you think! ✨follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass and turn on the notifications to get alerted of my latest fics! ✨
03:49 PM
Everything is fine, you keep telling yourself.
Your soon-to-be ex-husband is flying in from Denmark to finalize the divorce—and even after two years of exhaustive paperwork and mediations and court proceedings, you still don’t know how to feel about this. His visit to New York is meant to be a consolation prize for your six-year-old son Alfie, whose only facetime with his dad lately is through… well, FaceTime. But, given how extraordinarily difficult he’s being—fussing over his breakfast, stalling shower time by a record of 48 minutes, refusing to wear anything you picked out for him… you have an inkling that he might be a little nervous to see his father.
And to make matters worse, it’s raining cats and dogs outside, which delays Luca by two hours now and actively threatens the zoo outing he has planned out for him and Alfie.
So… despite the shitstorm that is happening in your apartment and out, you keep telling yourself that everything is fine.
Because it is. Your home is tidy enough, with all the toys and the mess tucked away in their little cubbies. Your son is dressed up enough; he’s finally put on his pants and shirt, although you missed a button and he won’t let you fix it. The storm is outside, and you’re safely sheltered in. And your relationship with your ex is civil enough, so you feel…
Fine enough.
But the doorman buzzes in, and you can definitely tell the awkwardness in his voice. “Afternoon, Ma’am. I have your husband— I mean, Chef Luca— I mean Mr. Bailey—”
You sigh, not having the energy to let this go on. “Yeah, yeah. Send him up.”
Alfie looks up from his coloring book and practically jumps out of the couch. “My tummy hurts, I’m gonna make a doodie!”
“No running!” You remind him just a second too late, watching him dash over to the bathroom and slamming the door closed. He has a nervous stomach just like you, and as you feel the icky twist in your gut… you can’t help but empathize with his antics today. You would be fucking shit up too, if you only could.
There’s a knock at the door, and you brace yourself as if you’re about to let the storm itself in (although, quite frankly, you probably are). Your hand feels clammy, and you have to wipe it off on your dress before you unlock the door and turn the knob.
“Hey.”
If the storm was a person, you wouldn’t have associated it with the man standing before you. So tall and broad and sturdy. With boyish features and dark blond locks like gentle daylight. It feels like a reach to imagine the seven years of your relationship with him was, indeed, an epic fucking hurricane.
Still. 
You can’t help that you miss him.
“Come on in.” You step aside, not really meeting his gaze.
He murmurs a small thanks and apology, a staple combination in Luca’s British vernacular, as he squeezes in through the door with his duffel bag and suitcase.
“I thought you’d dropped these off at your hotel before you came here.”
“I know. I was going to, but…” he puts down his bags close to the jacket closet, like he always does, “But I got held up for ages and traffic was awful and I didn’t want Alfie to wait even longer, so…”
“Right.” You nod absently. “Well. He’s in the bathroom, should be out in a second, so… have a seat. Do you want anything to drink?”
“Um, water’s fine.” He takes his seat on the dining table.
You’re not sure which one is more jarring; the sheer familiarity of this, or the fact that it isn’t anymore. The two of you just hovering in the home you used to share, courteous but distant.
Luca looks around the place, and notices all the differences right away. You kept the glass dining table and two of the chairs, but changed the corner seating into a plush dining bench against the kitchen island. He recognizes Alfie’s favorite stuffed bunny on the couch, although the throw pillows were new. But he takes one look at the wall… and his heart drops.
Gone are any traces of him in the snapshots of your life. The pictures are all of you and Alfie—eating ice cream in the park, grinning and showing his first lost tooth, dressed up on Halloween… He really shouldn’t be surprised or disappointed to find the wedding portrait gone, or the vacation selfie in Italy four years ago. But it hurts quite a bit to find a generic flower portrait replacing the picture of him kissing you on the forehead while Alfie, laying on your chest, merely hours after his birth.
“Yeah, I…” you clear your throat as you hand him the glass of water, “…did some redecorating.”
“It looks good.” He manages a stiff nod, taking a hesitant swig of water.
“You look…” good, you want to say. Because he is. He’s got that tan and the haircut that reminds you of when you first met him years ago. But you can’t say that. So you settle with, “You look well.”
He meets your eyes, really meets your eyes for the first time, and you try to convince yourself the little flutter you feel inside is just your nervous stomach. But he smiles, soft and earnest. “So do you.”
You turn back and open the fridge, welcoming the cold air and how it cools down the burning warmth on your cheeks. Trying not to freak out and decide what you’re getting, so you don’t look like an idiot. Your hand grabs a can of ginger ale, and you sigh in relief.
“How’s Alfie doing in school?”
“He’s doing alright. He’s enjoying his art classes. Math is still a struggle, but Ms. Rashad says his reading is quite advanced for his age.” You relax a little bit into the conversation. The topic of your son resets you a little bit into a somewhat common ground as co-parents. Plain and simple.
“Definitely takes after you. My dyslexic ass could never.”
You smile at that. Small jokes are still there, always a good sign.
“And the, uh…” he lowers his voice, “the anxiety?”
“Comes and goes. He’s been complaining about a stomach ache all day.” You glance towards the bathroom.
He frowns in concern. “Should we go check on him?”
“Sure…” You walk together with Luca following suit, tentatively knocking at the door. “Alfie? Hey bub, how’s your doodie?” It sounds silly, but you find it helps to ask open questions instead of showing your worries outright.
A flush from inside. “There’s no doodie,” he hollers. His voice is murmured from the barrier, and then the running tap water.
You catch the unease in Luca’s features, and you feel a little bad for him. It wouldn’t feel great that your own son is nervous to see you after many months apart. “You wanna come out, then? Your dad’s here.” You try to sound cheerful and upbeat, hoping it’ll hype them both up.
The two-second gap never felt so long. But the door opens, and there he is, standing meekly against the frame. Staring up at you and then at Luca.
Luca’s heart nearly stops as those big doe eyes stare up at him, a spitting image of you. The same softness. The same spark of stubbornness.
The same vulnerable look.
“Hey, bub.”
“Hi.”
“Can I get a hug?”
There’s a brief pause, before he steps forward and throws his arms around his father’s middle. Luca grunts softly, a little surprised by the sheer force Alfie is hugging him, his heart swelling three times over.
“Oh my God, look at you!” He ruffles the boy’s dark hair and kneels down to level with him. His cherubic face is small cupped in his large hand, but not as small as Luca remembered it. “You’re so tall now!”
“Of course. I’m 3 feet and 8 inches tall now. Right, Mommy?” He proudly announces, getting the exact height completely memorized.
“That’s right,” you confirm with a grin. 
Luca gasps, a smile blooming on his face. “What?”
Alfie nods. “I’m gonna be as tall as you.”
“No! Don’t grow up so fast!” He playfully cries out.
“Why?”
“Because I won’t get to do this anymore!” Luca seizes his boy into his arms and sweeps him off of his bunny-socked feet, sending Alfie into a fit of hysterical giggles.
The sight makes you chuckle, but the feeling could bring Luca to happy tears. He’s been gone for so long, he’s afraid he’d forget how it feels to hold his son in his arms again. Or worse, that his son would find his presence alien.
But he’s here now. With you and the son you share. Attacking Alfie in tickles and noisy kisses, and letting the boy climb him like monkey bars. And it calms his anxious heart a bit as he reminds himself, everything’s fine. 
And as things fall back into place, thunder crashes outside, as if sobering all of you back into reality. Alfie shirks into himself, climbing off of his father’s back. You want to reach out for him so badly, but at the same time, not wanting to interrupt his bonding time with his dad.
“It’s okay, bub. It’s just thunderclap,” Luca soothes emphatically over the sudden silence, bringing Alfie back down to his feet. He smooths his son’s hair gently, comfortingly. “I got you, I got you…”
“Do animals even come out in the rain?” Alfie is back to his withdrawn self, mumbling his words and avoiding Luca’s gaze.
“Some animals actually love playing in the rain,” you chime in helpfully.
Luca keeps his tone cheerful and bright. “Yeah, and you can wear your raincoat and your wellies and I’ll even let you jump in puddles—”
“I don’t wanna do that! I wanna stay home!” He whines, voice raising a little.
“It’s your dad’s time—”
“No!”
“Alfie.” Your tone is firmer now, as he struggles out of his father’s arms and runs to his favorite corner of the couch in the living room, holding his stuffed bunny tight. 
But Alfie’s got a point. This is not the kind of rain where you can take a leisurely stroll in. No, this is the kind where you stay huddled inside and hope it doesn’t flood the streets. Luca takes a thoughtful look at Alfie who is sulking and shrinking from the sound of thunder, at the window completely obscured from rain, and then at you… offering an apologetic smile.
So much for quality time with his son. 
Luca’s heart sinks a little. He sighs in defeat. “Maybe we should just wait it out…”
“Are you sure? I mean, you flew 9 hours to see him—“
“And I don’t want him to be pissed at me the whole time we’re hanging out,” he reasons. “Besides, I don’t think any Uber would take our order at this time.”
It makes sense, you think. As much as you want this awkward little broken family dance to end, you know that staying in and waiting it out is the best option. Alfie would feel much more comfortable at home than in whatever hotel Luca is staying in. And maybe it’s your protective side talking, but if he ever gets fussy, you’d prefer to be around to deal with it.
“Alright, fine.”
“Yeah? Is that okay with you?”
You shrug. The truth is a little more complicated, but ultimately you settle with a simple, “yes.”
Alfie takes a quick glance at you and Luca emerging from the hallway (you have your mother’s side eye, Luca always said), before returning to fiddling his stuffed bunny’s ears (your father’s neutral look of disapproval, you would say). Like clockwork, Luca takes the seat next to Alfie, while you take the puffy stool in front of him.
“That wasn’t very nice of you to raise your voice at me and your dad like that. I get that you’re nervous about the weather—a bit startled, too— but still. We don’t raise our voices in this household.”
Alfie looks at you and Luca. “I’m sorry.”
Luca nods in acknowledgement. “I’m sorry for being late, buddy.” He gingerly reaches out to touch the boy’s hand. “You’re right, though. It might be best to stay in for a bit.” He motions at the rain hammering down on the window outside.
“I told you. I wanna stay at home.”
“I know. And we are for now. We can…” Luca scans around for something to do. His eyes fall on the coloring book and the open box of color pencils next to it. Bingo! “We can… color some drawings in that book?”
He pouts, not entirely sold on the idea but not outright refusing it either. 
“Or, hey, I got some new drawings on me. You can color them, too.” Luca takes off his hoodie and shows off the tattoos on his arms.
God, you forgot about the plethora of trashy tattoos adorning his skin. Even worse, you forgot how it highlights the defined curves of his biceps. Focus, for fuck’s sake! You avert your gaze towards the flower portrait on the wall. 
Alfie perks up a little. “This is my old drawing.” His tiny finger pokes at his forearm, on a tattoo of a stick figure climbing up the stairs. “You still have it?”
“Of course. It’s there forever. I’ll always have it.” Luca finds himself choking up at that simple admission. A little token of childhood of his ever-growing love. “Go on, get your crayons.”
Alfie looks at you as if seeking permission, and it makes you want to laugh that he shares the same animated eyebrows as his father. 
“Go ahead, bub,” you usher him off lightly, and as soon as he’s out of sight, nods at your ex. “Good save.”
Luca half-smiles. “Thanks. You should chill out. Read a book, take a nap or something. I got him.”
“What, are you trying to kick me out?”
“No, I just—”
Your smile breaks out. “I’m kidding! Go hang out with Alf. I got a Zoom meeting in a few minutes anyway.”
He sighs in relief, chuckling lightly. “You almost got me there…”
You briefly pat his shoulder and for an even briefer moment, his hand is atop yours. The big ‘A’ tattoo on the back of his hand—your son’s initial in a bold Gothic letter— serves as a reminder of what’s past; a whirlwind romance, the wild days of being a family of a merry band of misfits…
Misfits. That’s the biggest takeaway here, you suppose. Your pieces don’t quite fit right. Not without little Alfie gluing you together. 
With a final squeeze on Luca’s shoulder, you make your way to your bedroom, making space for Luca’s puzzle pieces to fit with Alfie’s because they don’t fit yours anymore.
***
05:04 PM
By the time your Zoom meeting ends, the pelting rain outside is louder and the chatter inside is nearly inaudible. It feels nice for about ten seconds… until you remember that you have a six-year-old at home and long bouts of silence can be quite… well, suspicious. You pad out into the hallway to check on him.
“Let’s see. You wanna do the sunflower next? What do you think, my love?”
Oh right. For a moment, you forgot that the thirty-year-old other parent is here with him.
Luca has his t-shirt sleeves hiked all the way up, biceps in full display as Alfie colors in a tattoo on the back part of his upper arm. The boy’s tongue sticks out and his eyebrows furrow in focus. It seems like a delicate operation between them, so you linger out of sight for just a while longer.
“Why do you like sunflowers, Dad?”
The two of you have always supported his inquisitive mind, and he missed these kinds of questions most of all. Even if the answers can be a little complicated. “Because of your mum, actually.”
“You like it because Mommy likes it?” Alfie’s little nose crinkles.
Luca chuckles in amusement, sensing the judgment in his son’s tone. Damn you guys for teaching Alfie not to get carried away by trends. “Well… when your mum and I first met, it was winter in Chicago and it’s pretty bleak and gloomy and freezing. But, your mum had a little sunflower by the window—just like that one.” He glances at the little potted sunflower on the windowsill. “She said it’s a reminder to let the sun shine in. I thought it was adorable. We started doing that everywhere we lived and… I don’t know, it reminds me of home.”
“Do you have a sunflower by your window, Dad?”
His heart catches as he realizes the answer. “No, I don’t…”
“Why? You don’t miss home?”
There’s a sharp pang of hurt in hearing that innocent query. The apartment in Copenhagen, as nice as it is, has never been much of a home for Luca. He would get up before the sun is up and return from work late at night—lather, rinse and repeat. On his days off, he would either go on a morning run and spend much of his time outside, or sleep til noon and live on instant ramen and takeout. There’s no time for a sunflower by the window. No room. He made sure of that.
He doesn’t deserve one after leaving his wife and son for fucking Noma. 
Luca swallows back the lump in his throat, although the slight waver in his voice gives him away. “I got my sunflower right here, bub. My little piece of home.” He taps on his arm softly as his son finishes up. 
Alfie hums, pleased with how the tattoo looks, now filled in with yellow and black and brown crayons. “I think this is my favorite one.”
“Yeah? Not the tabasco?” Luca grins, looking down at his forearm—specifically at the mostly accurate red and green of the hot sauce bottle.
“No…” Alfie taps his chin with his finger thoughtfully. “This one is prettier.”
Luca maneuvers around to look at the sunflower tattoo a little better. “You’re right, it is much prettier. Maybe I should get the colors in permanently, huh?”
The boy’s face lights up. “Can you?”
“Yeah. I think I will. Nice job, my little tattoo artist.” Luca pulls him into a bear hug and kisses the top of Alfie’s head. 
You can’t help but chuckle, glad to see them bonding again, lost in your thoughts for a moment.
“Mommy! Dad says I can be a tattoo artist!” Alfie snaps you out of your reverie.
“Is that right?” Your eyebrows shoot up, struggling to maintain a neutral expression while staring at Luca like with all due respect, what the fuck?
He raises his hands in surrender. “I just said he’s my little tattoo artist, that’s all.”
“I colored in all of Dad’s tattoos! Look!” Alfie tugs at his dad’s arm, beaming as he shows off his work.
You step forward, studying the results of the tattoo makeover. Every single tattoo is colored in; some accurately, like the sunflower and tabasco, while others (like the purple fish and chips and blue scotch bonnet)… not so much. You don’t know which one’s more amusing; your son’s artistic style, or your ex’s bashful look as he models the art works on his arms. 
“Looks great, bub. Well done!” You ruffle Alfie’s hair, enjoying his improved mood.
“Can I watch Bluey now?”
You purse your lips comically. “I don’t know, bub. Why don’t you look at your checklist on the fridge and see if you can?”
Alfie bounds past you, towards the fridge, and reads the checklist out loud to himself. “Have you… brushed your teeth? Yes. Brushed your hair? Yes…” He flattens his wavy locks with the palm of his hand, continues reading with a lower murmur. “Mommy, I did everything except tidy up my room and play outside for 30 minutes!”
“Okay. Obviously we can’t play outside, so… why don’t you just go clean your room and I’ll let you watch Bluey for a bit?”
Alfie gamely nods and goes into his bedroom, his bunny socks muting his footsteps against the hardwood floor.
Meanwhile, it takes you an extra beat to realize how close you’re standing with Luca without your child between you. He rolls down the sleeves of his black t-shirt sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. 
“Your meeting went okay?”
“It’s alright.” You look at literally anything but the man in front of you, ultimately stopping at your potted sunflower by the windowsill. “That storm out there, on the other hand…”
“Yeah…”
You take an inconspicuous look at the hallway, making sure your son is out of earshot. “Weather reports say it might last a few more hours.”
Luca huffs, trying not to stress out about the possibility of street floods. Of all the things he missed, New York thunderstorms are not one of them. Still, this shitty weather has granted him some time with his son, at his former home… with his former spouse. And God, does he miss this more than he dreads the weather…
“Want me to make you guys dinner?” He offers earnestly.
You pull back, returning to your normal volume. “Oh. No, you don’t have to—”
“I don’t mind. Really. Might as well, right?”
You hear heavy footsteps from the bedroom and Alfie hollers from the hallway. “I’m all done!”
“Don’t forget your crayons!”
Alfie promptly makes a beeline towards his leftover mess. “Heard, Mommy.” He hurriedly puts his crayons back in the box and rushes into his room to put it away. Returning mere moments later with a newfound spring in his steps. “I’m done for real! Now can I please watch Bluey now?”
“I can cook while he gets his screen time.”
The two boys look at you with their best puppy eyes, and it’s the most disarming thing you’ve seen in a while—and the resemblance between them only makes things worse. You playfully roll your eyes in relent. “Alright, alright. Go ahead. Watch your TV and make your dinner.”
There’s a quiet little yesss from Alfie as Luca low-fives him before they scatter, one to the living room and the other to the kitchen. For a moment, you feel like you were transported back in time. For the first time in over two years, you’re caught between cartoon sounds from the TV and the kitchen alive again. All was well in the household. 
“Is he still a picky eater?” Luca mouths the last two words inaudibly.
You raise your eyebrows in confirmation. “All he wants to eat is chicken nuggies.”
“I can do chicken nuggies,” he shrugs easily, rummaging through the freezer and takes out a pack of chicken breasts. “Or some version of that.”
Upon overhearing the key word, Alfie’s head all but whips toward Luca. “We’re having chicken nuggies for dinner?”
“Er, kind of.”
“Can I help?” He perks up from the back of the couch, excitement bubbling over.
Luca smiles apologetically. “Maybe later, my love. Daddy’s gonna be using a big knife…” he says as he checks the blade closely, swiping it with his thumb. “…which is dull, by the way. When was the last time you sharpened this?”
“I… have no idea.” You frown. You don’t even remember sharpening any knives… ever. Meanwhile, Luca simply rummages through the kitchen drawer, which makes you ask, “What are you doing?”
“I’m sharpening it,” he states matter-of-factly, already setting up a makeshift sharpening station which… what?
“Didn’t even know we had that,” you murmur plainly as you watch him work. Taking out a block of whetstone from the drawer (where did that even come from?) and running it under the sink. Laying out a kitchen rag and the stone on top of it.
He chuckles a little, scraping the blade against the stone at an angle, firmly but carefully. “Can’t leave you good Santoku knives without the proper sharpening tools, right?”
“You never taught me how to do it, though.”
“Yes, I have.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“What are you talking about? Back in Chicago, I—”
You burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that was one time forever ago! And you never let me sharpen the knives. You literally always do it.”
He pauses, grinning bashfully. “Fair…”
For the umpteenth time that day, Luca’s heart catches—this time from hearing you laugh. Your warm voice rings so pleasantly in his ears, and the way your face lights up… he almost forgets there’s a storm outside, because he’s got a lovely summer day right here in front of him.
And honestly, what is beautiful sunny Copenhagen compared to this warmth of the two people he loves the most?
“Alright, alright. You want a refresher? Come here.”
You gingerly take the place next to him, arms crossed so as to not invade his space. Neither of you say anything when your shoulders brush against each other. It’s brief, painstakingly so, but eerily familiar. You wouldn’t admit that you want to stay pressed against him a little longer, but… you do.
“Okay, so. You see this bit right here?” His finger runs up the line where the blade flattens into the edge. “Rest the knife on the stone on this angle, start from the heel—near the handle— and just… bring it in,” he demonstrates the inward sliding motion—short and precise and repetitive, “and work your way up to the tip.”
You silently watch him work for a moment, handling the knife. Firm and steady, but not harsh. On the contrary, it’s almost… delicate. You’ve seen many chefs work in your lifetime, but no one is as composed or stoic (or handsome, but that is beside the point) as Luca. It’s quite fascinating. 
“And you do this on both sides, right?” You vaguely recall.
“Good memory.” He nods appreciatively. “Some people like to do each side one at a time, back and forth, but I like to do one side, get that burr forming…”
“What’s a burr, sir?”
Luca chuckles at your little Hamilton reference. “So when you work on this side, you’ll feel a nice little rough bit forming on the other side like this.” He slides his thumb from the knife’s spine to the edge and carefully guides your hand through the motion. “Feel that?“
Yes. That should be an easy enough answer, because yes, you do feel the rough edge of the excess metal on the blade. But it’s a bit hard to focus on that when you’re more fixated on the rough calluses of his fingertips instead…
In theory, playing a knife with your almost ex-husband is as bad as a bad idea can get. In practice, though… Having your hand in his again, feeling him so close to you, smelling his perfume…
“That’s the burr. Once you get it on one side, you can switch over to the other side and balance it out.” His voice is lower now. Softer. “And you just… do it over and over again until you’ve worked off the burr and have a smooth and sharp blade.”
Luca switches the knife to your other hand and stands behind you, hoping to God you can’t feel his pounding heart as his chest presses against your back. Gently guiding you through the sharpening motion—the firm, steady, angled scraping of the blade towards you. You swear to God, every pull brings him just a tad closer.
“So you basically have to break the knife a little to fix it?” 
“That’s basically it, yeah.”
The storm feels miles away. His hands are still curled against yours. His chest flush against your back. His body heat emanates from within him and shrouds you like your favorite cardigan.
“Listen, I—”
“Thanks… for the refresher.” And with that, you put the knife down on the kitchen rag and pull away.
It takes him an extra second to snap out of it and step back to make way for you as you retreat back into your bedroom. “Yeah, yeah. No problem.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck your fucking life to hell.
***
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starzblvd · 9 months
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Pampering your girlfriend to a soothing bath after a rough day from summers scorching heat then letting her use your hand to get herself off <33
an: modern!ellie, college!ellie, gf!ellie, got this idea while doing my extra long everything shower which originally just started off as fluff but yk, was supposed to post this like 2 weeks ago but then I got slumped with other stuff..anyways Ellie refers to you as angel because I love the pet name so much 🩷
Disgustingly hot was what the temperature is around this time of summer. The heat suffocating you immediately after stepping outside. Ellie curses herself on the drive home when the ac of her red 1989 Ford F-250 decided to stop working on one of the summers hottest days. Hot weather called for a hot tempered Ellie, god it’s the afternoon and it’s still this fucking hot.
She’d walk out of her car with an angry pout of a scowl irritated of the stickiness the sweat induced during her drive home to your shared apartment. Ellie’s skin was covered in a glossy sheen when she’d reach the door, whole day she was stuck dealing with the blistering heat with her lecture halls ac coincidentally broke down too. If one thing were to piss her off in this state she’d be ready to pull a hissy fit. She knocked with urgency to get the relief of cold air, a minute passed and another knock perused, two more minutes and she’s calling out your name slightly banging the door. Ellie reaches for her key from her back pocket jamming the key in loudly when you unlock it before she does greeting her wearing an apologetic smile, “didn’t mean to keep you out, was just fixing a bath for you”
You’d known she was beat from how hot she was the entire day by the spam of texts complaining about everything and anything “I hate this chair it’s so uncomfortable” or “can he talk any fucking faster so we can leave”
Ellie couldn’t be mad when you’d been so sweet waiting for her to come back, letting her shoulders drop their stiff lock allowing you to walk her away the shutting door. “You didn’t have to do all that, im just glad to even get outside that godman place, seriously how do all ac’s suddenly get an idea to break down today,”
You’d notice the glowing gleam layer of sweat she walked in with, after she’s pulling you into her gentle embrace contrasting her tone and expression
“but thank you angel, always so sweet to me”
She was tired and so was her voice, raspier than her typical tone. Couldn’t just leave her in her own when she’s so drained,
“let me do the work for you today”
Ellie’s eyebrows lifted confused to what you’re suggesting but follows your trail nonetheless, as your girlfriend she trusts you.
“just sit down and I’ll bathe you, you know?” You take your seat on the edge of the tub looking at her with such an adoring expression she didn’t hesitate to strip and climb into the tub. Her hair was tied back in effort to combat the heat, you take out the hair tie allowing her hair to fall for you to use a container to pour water over her. A giggle escapes her lips when she shuts her eyes from the water.
She enjoyed how dotting you were to her, enjoyed with the way your fingers move in little circles on her scalp messaging in the lathering shampoo, the little kiss you placed on her forehead after rinsing the pine lavender scented conditioner out.
“We should do this more often, like way more often,” Ellie was completely aloof getting taken care of and content with how loving your touch was, almost made her feel a bit guilty for the idea that was looming over her now, almost. “Yeah?” It’d feel just as peaceful for you to care for her. Reaching over for the body wash Ellie’s hand grasps onto your wrist, wet with small bubbles mixed in from the shampoo.
“you wouldn’t mind for me to use your hand a bit would you angel?” Her voice was softer now, any pent up irritation had washed away by now, looking to you with her slight smirk, the same smirk that’d leave your stomach coiling itself up knowing she only had this look when she’d have another one of her ideas.
“Go ahead,”
Still puzzled she lowers your hand to the water guiding your hand to touch the toned muscles of her torso that stiffed with anticipation. Your touch never failed to excite her no matter how long you’ve been together. Noticing the limpness of your hand Ellie spoke up in type of whisper,
“you can tell me to stop”
Taking the hint of what she was insinuating you slowly shift your fingers open to glide your touch over her warm body,
“No no, I want to keep going,”
You’d coo with all the reassurance she needed. Dragging your hand further down, she caressed the sides of her lips with your finger tips feeling the shock it brung earning a small grunt from her slowly teasing her entrance. Spreading her legs further apart Ellie’s hand adjusted your middle and ring finger onto her exposed folds to start some friction easily sliding them up and down with the mix of her slick and water. All you’d hear was the slow sloshing of water and the small whimpers she muffled through her lips.
She kept her eyes closed concentrating on getting to her high using you. Ellie guides your fingers to soothe her puffy clit only being met with your resistance holding her back, instead to run your fingers anywhere else but her clit.
“thought you were supposed to be helping me,” Ellie let’s out grunting into your ear.
despite her efforts to move you onto her ache you keep prodding her folds, writhing from your neglectful touch, she was so needy for you every second you denied her a rub to give her the release she chased for.
“Thought I was the one supposed to be doing the work for you tonight.”
Ellie was growing tired of the lack of attention she was desperate for, she shoved the two fingers down plunging them inside her, her lips parted allowing her sweet moans to fill the room and your ears.
“we both know you could be doing a better job at that right now angel.”
She couldn’t help herself pushing you deeper into her to touch the spot that always had her unfolding below you. Making her hand jerk faster to pump your fingers quicker to speed up she’d be getting closer to the orgasm her body was pleading for.
“Since you’re so pretty like this I guess I can try harder,” you smiled looking at how the muscles of her arm flexed each time she’d move in and out, you keep your open hand busy by gently rubbing her shoulder whilst bringing your underwater thumb to her clit pressing into her before finally giving in and pacing it into circles.
“cmon cmon cmon, keep going angel please”
Begging and unraveling right before you with a final fast pump and stroke to her clit Ellie’s back straightened and curved into an all familiar arch. Her eyes harshly shutting closed but you wanted to see the eyes you loved so much, lifting the hand from her shoulder to her jaw pulling her face to yours, Ellie’s still wanning off her orgasm by drowning her pace down until she’s finally done sliding you out from herself.
She brought your hand back to surface embracing your hard working fingers with a kiss keeping her hold onto you as Ellie slides down into the tub to just the point where her neck starts.
“you can finish your job now,” she was smiling looking forward to the next time.
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luvfy0dor · 3 months
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“I Like Shiny Things, But I'd Marry You With Paper Rings ♡⁠˖” BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚
╰┈➤ Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara
Warnings; None! ♡⁠˖
Description; Drabbles about BSD men proposing
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A/n; Any commentary on the pink theme? I like it, as of right now it's only gonna stay until Valentine's day. This is my in-between requests post, another request will be posted soon! ♡⁠˖
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⑅ Dazai Osamu ⑅
♡ Dazai is the type of guy to keep the ring on him at all times. He proposes when he thinks the moment is right, there's no set date for when he's going to do it. He has times when he'd like to do it, but he doesn't force himself too if it doesn't feel like the best possible moment. Or he might just do it impulsively, who knows?x
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You sat bored in the living room, folding a small square of paper into as many little origami shapes as you could. You made small hearts, cranes, and paper rings. You slid one of the recently-made rings onto your finger and smiled, deciding to make a matching one for your boyfriend, who had yet to come back from the grocery quest you sent him on. As you made the first few folds, you heard some banging on the door. It startled you a little, your breath hitching. The voice that followed calmed your nerves, though.
"Babe, can you let me in? Please?" He had a small impediment in his speech when he spoke. You sighed with a smile and got up, unlocking and opening the door to see Dazai with grocery bags hung up both of his arms and one hanging out of his mouth. Your eyebrows furrowed a little and you took roughly half of them into your own hole. "I sent you for a couple things, what's all this?" You ask. He just shrugs and kicks off his shoes, still standing with you at the doorway. "Just some stuff I figured we needed. Trust me, you'll thank me later." He tells. He heads to the kitchen and starts putting things away with your help. He shares tales of his journey to the grocery store and back, making sure you know every detail of the trip. He seemed to be particularly enthused about some coupons he found in the cart he grabbed, which explained all the extra groceries. After putting them all away, he joined you back one the couch and examined your origami art.
"Wow, you're quite crafty." He says, picking up the paper crane and bending it's neck back and forth. "Yeah, I got birds, hearts, and rings. I was about to make a matching ring for you, but then you bashed your head against the door instead of setting stuff down to get out your key." You playfully jabbed. He scoffed. "Like you wouldn't do the same thing." You shake your head, your tongue sticking out of your mouth while you focus on perfectly bending the paper to form the shape of a heart-ring. It became increasingly difficult when Dazai grabbed one of your hands oh-so gently and observed the ring made from a yellow sticky note. He thought about how much better a legitimate wedding ring/band would look on your finger, an idea suddenly occuring to him. "We should exchange rings once you're don't with mine." He pitches the idea to you with a grin.
You hum in approval. "Alright, I'm almost done, it'll only take another minute." He nodded, taking the ring off of your finger and setting it on the table. "Okay, I'll be right back." He says, rising from the couch and going to your shared bedroom, digging through the various items in the nightstand drawer to find the small, black box. He slipped it into his pocket and returned to your side, placing a hand on his back and kissing the side of your head and eventually leaning into your warmth. You held up your paper ring proudly when you finished. "Alright, are we exchanging them now?" He nods, his hand fidgeting with the ring box in his pocket, opening it and extracting the ring into his balled fist. He grabs the paper ring from the table and holds out his other hand for you.
"Here you go, my beloved husband." You tease, a smile on your face as you sit unaware of what's about to come. "Thanks, babe. Here's yours." You smiled as you watched him push the actual engagement ring onto your finger before it fully processed in your mind and your jaw dropped. "This felt like the perfect moment to ask...will you marry me?" Your heart flutters in your chest and you choke up a little, nodding and hugging him tightly. "Yes, yes! Oh my gosh, it's so pretty, Osamu!" Your heart felt like it was lodged in your throat with excitement as your boyfriend chuckles at the sight of you intensely observing the ring. "I'm so glad you said yes." He says through his smile, hugging you and running his hand up and down your back. "Why wouldn't I?" You said, brushing your hands through your new fiances hair with euphoria. "I know I'm pretty irresistible, so I didn't expect you to say 'no', you just make me nervous. In a good way, ofcourse." He pridefully says. You chuckled and kissed him sweetly. "You're such a dork, but I don't mind." You said. You both filled the rest of the evening with laughter and excited discussion of possibilities for the wedding itself. You couldn't help it, you just loved being immersed in conversation with your fiance more than anything.
⑅ Chuuya Nakahara ⑅
♡ Chuuya plans the proposal out. He'd really like to propose on a beach at sunset, something cliche like that. Some people might think it's corny, but he thinks it's romantic. He's got rose pedals, candles, you name it.
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Chuuya scattered the rose pedals on the sand in the shape of a large heart, having picked the least windy day of the week to avoid the flowers blowing every which way. The heart shape was illuminated by pretty faux candles, their fake fire flickering on the darkening beach. The sunset painted the sky a beautiful pink, just like the rosy pink you made his face anytime you complimented him, even years into the relationship. The butterflies in his stomach were very much alive and well, even if he played them off with false annoyance. They were there now as he scattered the final petals, waiting for you to text him that you were pulling up to the beach to start walking to the close parking lot. His hands reached down into his pocket to grab his phone with one hand and fiddle with the ring in his other. As he was about to press the power button, his lock screen lit up with your notification.
He felt his heart in his throat as he started walking up, having to steady his breathing once or twice. You saw him first, calling out his name and waving. "Chuuya!" You picked up your pace, shoving your phone onto the back pocket of your shorts. He smiled, his teeth showing through his parted lips. He immediately embraced you, his arms falling loosely around your waist, pulling you into a kiss. It was just a peck, but it spread a more-than-welcome warmth throughout your chest. The smile didn't leave your face while he walked back with you slowly to the beach. "Have a good day, doll?" He asks, grabbing your hand and giving it a small squeeze. Your eyebrows furrow and your nose scrunches. "Yeah, I guess. It was really boring, but not bad." He hums in understanding, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing your knuckles. "But you got through the day." You nod with a grin that mirrored his on your face.
"So, uh, I have something I wanna ask you about." He said, avoiding eye contact and instead looking at his feet. You raised an eyebrow, tilting forward to look at his face. "Hm?" Your head fell to rest against his as you started to walk through the sand. The large, candle-lit heart caught your eye and you couldn't help but swoon. He was blushing and drew his hand up to his face to cover it, but he guided you to the center of the heart, his free hand holding yours. "Chuu, this is gorgeous." You murmur, taken back by how pretty everything looked. Ocean waves rolled against the shore quietly, setting the mood. Onlookers stared, but Chuuya only looked at you. "A gorgeous scene for a gorgeous person." He whispered. He took both hands and squeezed them tightly, swallowing the reoccurring lump in his throat. "Y/n, you know how much I love you and how long I've loved you- it feels like it's been forever in the best way possible. I never want it to stop, so.." he takes a deep breath and fishes the ring box out of his pocket and kneels down.
You could almost feel the world stop spinning and your heartbeat in your ears. Your tongue pressed against the roof of your mouth as you waited to hear the words you had wanted to for a while now. Chuuya brought your knuckles to his lips before asking. "Will you continue to make me the happiest man ever and marry me, Y/n?" You could barely squeeze a 'yes' out of your throat and nodded vigorously. He smiled from ear to ear and took the ring/band out of the box, sliding it onto your ring finger. You immediately throw yourself onto your new fiance, tackling him into the sand and hugging him tightly. "Chuuya, this was the cutest thing ever, thank you so much." You pressed a soft kiss to his exposed collarbone and ran a hand through his hair. "Anythin' for you, sweetheart." He says, still on a high from your response. He pressed a kiss to your head and the two of you just played together for a while, basking in each other's presence, the ocean and sunset wonderfully adding to the atmosphere.
⑅ Fyodor Dostoevsky ⑅
♡ Fyodor, like Chuuya, plans it out. He much prefers a restaurant setting to a beach, though. Candle lit dinners ended with applause from onlookers and a smile on your face is a more than satisfactory way to propose.
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Fyodor had been mentioning bringing you out for a nice, candle-lit dinner recently, and he finally got to take you out on a saturday evening. His hand rested on your thigh while he drove, which didn't usually happen, but it wasn't an unwelcomed occurrence. Your hand was on top of his while you told him about a book you had read, excitedly filling him all the details about the characters and their romantic sparks. He followed along with that beautiful soft smile on his face, nodding and 'oh'ing, but it wasn't a dismissive 'oh', it was an intrigued one. He related the book you were talking about to one he had read in the past, and you listened just as he did. He loved that about you, your interest in whatever conversation he had to offer. His hand lifted from your thigh as he pulled into the parking lot, finding the closest spot to the entrance. He looked kinda sexy when he drove, the way his thin and nimble fingers loosely held the wheel made your cheeks heat up. You let out a giddy breath when he opened his door and made his way around the car to open yours for you. And they say romance is dead.
You smiled and took his hand when getting out, keeping it in your hold while your you walked in and he told the hostess about your reservation. She led the both of you to a table and gave you menus, leaving to give you some alone time with your boyfriend. His hair was pushed back behind one of his ears and his eyes scanned over the drinks printed om the laminated paper. "What are you going to order, Moya Lyubov?" He asks, looking up at you from across the table, his foot brushing against yours underneath the surface. "Maybe a margarita." You say pensively, putting thorough thought into your decision. After deciding that nothing on the menu sounded better in the moment, you settled. "Yeah, a margarita for sure." You sat the menu down on the table and crossed your arms. "Mm, that's a good choice." He says. "I think I just want water."
The waitress soon arrives at your table to take your orders for drinks, and it doesn't take long for her to return. She sets them on the table and you both murmur appreciative 'thank you's and take a sip. She offered to take your order for a main course or appetizers, but you requested more time to look over the menu. Fyodor reached over and gently pried one of your hands from the side of the gatefold booklet, holding it. "Your hands are so warm, my dear." He says, eyes soft and loving. "I love you, so, so much, and I plan to show you just how much that is tonight." He says, kissing your knuckles. Your face immediately warmed and you laughed softly. The restaurant had soft classical music playing in the background, which paired nicely with the soft chatter of the people. "Yeah? Well, I'm not sure I'd need you to prove how much you love me, but I'm not opposed to it if you want to." You says, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
Fyodor nodded and his mind drifted down to the ring box that patiently sat in his front pocket, waiting to be gifted to you. "I always want to display my love for you." He confesses. After a moment, you both pick a main course for yourselves and the waitress takes the order. Fyodor wanted to wait until you were ready to leave to get down on one knee so it would be less expected than him standing up in the middle of dinner, and that he did. He watched your every reaction to his words throughout the meal when it was delivered to you. He subtly dropped some hints, although you didn't seem to be picking them up. He didn't mind, it just added to the element of surprise when he did finally pop the question.
The conversation flowed smoothly as it always did, his hand almost always holding onto yours across the table. His laugh was so charming, as was his smile. Everything about him seemed so soft, like the warm toned light on his skin and the way his hair fell just above his shoulders. You are your food happily, paid the bill, and gathered your stuff. He assisted you in putting your coat, turning you around and pressing a kiss to your lips while holding your hands. "Mmn, myshka..." He slides his hand into his pocket and withdrawals it, holding it out and getting down on one knee. Your eyes widened and you sucked in a breath, your posture suddenly straightening. Peoples heads all over the restaurant turned towards you and your soon-to-be-fiance.
"Y/n, do you remember our first date being here?" He says, opening the ring box to show you the beautiful jewelry piece. "I believe things come full circle. We've had one new begining here, and I thought I should start a new chapter in the story of us here, as well." He said, never breaking eye contact until you looked down, giddy with excitement. "So, will you marry me, Y/n?" He asked. He was confident you'd say yes, but he still held his breath. People around were watching with intrigue and excitement.
"Oh my god, yes." You said, the dorkiest grin on your face as you hugged him. The people around clapped and let out small aw's as you and Fyodor exchanged a sweet kiss. His hand was placed on the back of your head, his lips pulled upward in a grin similar to your own. "Ah, I love you, Myshka." He pulled away and slid the ring onto your finger while his other hand slid down to the small of your back. You admired the jewels embedded in the metal and kissed his cheek one more time. "Ready to leave, my dear?" You nod, kissing his knuckles. "Yeah, thank you so much for tonight and just...everything." You appreciatively thank him with your head on his shoulder. You couldn't be more ecstatic about the proposal, and you knew your lover was feeling the same way.
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A/n; THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT IM DHAJEKWKS I CANT WAIT IM PROLLY GONNA MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT IT BUT I JUSR DJSJJKSJD I'm a little sad I didn't get one of the deluxe CDs, but it's whatever I guess. I should really focus on getting debut, rep, and fearless TV, those r the only ones I don't have rn 😭
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not-supernatural · 6 months
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take my hand. play the supernatural interactive website with me
this is yet another thing i found out about through the 2005 supernatural forum when they started talking about passwords they needed for unlocking stuff
once upon a time when you visited supernatural.warnerbros.com you were greeted with this point and click game (?) thingy that was updated as season 1 was premiering, with new stuff being added periodically. for example, the key on the floor, the metal safe and the notepad weren't there in the earliest save of this website on internet archive.
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as far as i can tell, the website was created on october 1st 2005, but the earliest messages about it on the forum that i could find are from november 5th 2005.
the combination to open impala's trunk is 11-2-83, which is the hint dean gave on his voicemail when you called him before 'home' premiered
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john's journal has been in the game since the beginning, but new pages were being added every couple days/weeks, according to the forum.
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i clicked on john's journal last in the video, because that part of the game hasn't been saved by internet archive and the game crashes, sadly, but later on i found a catalogue with all of the pages in it on spn wiki. scans of the pages, transcription of john's 1983 journal
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one of the mysteries john's journal provided was, 'what is the significance of 1246?'
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a while later the key to open the glove box appeared
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(note the SEX:F on sam's driver's license, of course. but also the fact that it was issued in california...)
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the laptop, according to WB's official description of the season 1 DVD, is dean's! but the files inside it are sam's.
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and what are the files inside it? well, on the video you can see two, but there are actually three. we'll get there
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'research links' brings up actual paranormal lore blogs, not created by the production team, as far as i can tell, just by regular people on 2005's internet
site links from the bottom up. ghosts2
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stories/ghost
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newspage126
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2005's wendigo page on wikipedia
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and um.... aaevp dot com... which isn't archived, so i don't know if it was a real site. if it was, it probably belonged to the American Association of Electronic Voice Phenomena
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but now, well. the site looks like this
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SAD!
'hunter's blogs' is locked, and the password to open it was one of the bonuses on the season 1 DVD (that 'access to dean's computer' / 'sam's files' thing)
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you can read jo's blog here
the third item on the laptop, which wasn't saved on internet archive for some reason, was added on the evening of february 28th 2006, after the premiere of 'shadows'. ANDOVER3125550143
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it was an audio file of morse code that translated to 'salvation', which would be s01e21
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and this box from the floor, which was never opened as far as i could find, was theorized to be the box of family pictures sam and dean got in 'home'
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two three more tidbits. rolling stones tickets?
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john's journal runes
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and after 'asylum' aired, the game added dr. ellicott's journal, but i couldn't find it archived or on the wiki. sorry to this man
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and at the end of this journey, as i gazed upon a message that said 'here's a post that gathered up all the information and transcribed john's journal'
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i click on it, and what do i find.
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that that very post turned into supernaturalwiki.com
thank you and goodnight
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snailsagere · 3 months
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Please read my dni in my bio before interacting
I made a computer games to play when regressed so here's phone games to play when regressed!
Phone games to play when regressed!
All of these games are free unless stated otherwise and I will give content warnings if needed! If I miss anything and you think I should include it then feel free to tell me!
🌸= personal favourites
Monster girl maker 1 and 2
Description- it's a cute dress up game where you design monster girls, it's really really cute!
CW- I think it's got some medically stuff and general stuff that may be scary
My little pony pocket ponies
Description- it's a game where you get through enemies using the mlp characters it's quite tricky so I recommend this more for anyone who regresses to older ages but it's still really fun!
CW- none :3
🌸My little pony colour by magic
Description- it's a colour by number game where you colour in scenes and decorate a friendship museum!
CW- none :3
🌸My little pony magic princess
Description- you rebuild equestria and complete quests as well as little in game competitions!
CW- none :3
🌸My little pony celebration
Description- you celebrate loads of different parties hosted by the my little pony characters!
CW- none :3
Toca world
Description- pretty much like a doll house but on your phone, make characters, make them a house and explore the world etc, there are also dlc's you can pay for which add stuff like new locations etc
CW- none :3
Toca hair salon 3
Description- this is a paid game where you cut and style different people's hair!
CW- cartoon scissors, hair cutting equipment etc
🌸Hello kitty around the world
Description- you travel to different countries as hello kitty, learn facts about them and where they are in world! you also earn traditional outfits and food to dress hello kitty and feed her!
CW- none! :3
Hello kitty educational games
Description- play a variety of different games to earn outfits and furniture for hello kitty!
CW- none! :3
🌸Hello kitty fashion star
Description- dress up girls in sanrio clothes!
CW- none! :3
Hello kitty cafe
Description- own a cafe! And play as sanrio characters! This games a bit tricky so I recommend it for older kids! Aswell as that there used to be in app purchases to make it easier but they do not work anymore so keep that in mind!
CW- none! :3
Hello kitty goodnight
Description- you play little mini games to get the hello kitty family to sleep!
CW- none! :3
🌸Littlest pet shop your world
Description- play loads and loads of littlest pet shop mini games and if you have the lps with the rubbery heads you can even scan them into the game!
CW- none! (I haven't played every mini game but it seems fine)
Cats and soup
Description- this is a clicky game where you unlock cats for them to make soup
CW- drawings of cartoony knives (to cut veggies)
Bunnybuns
Description- you play as a bunny making food for customers based on hints they give you
CW- none (I don't remember if they use kitchen equipment but I think they don't, not certain though!)
My talking Angela 2
Description- look after a cat called angela, play mini games etc
CW- none! :3
🌸Virtual families 3
Description- I grew up play virtual families 2!this is the same premise we're you look after a family on your phone!
CW- none! :3
Tsuki odyssey
Description- similar to tsuki adventure but now you're in a new location, you can fish, buy things, decorate your house and see what tsuki gets up to
CW- I think burglary is mentioned at the start
Cats are cute
Description- expand a town of cats, pet them, feed them and play with them!
CW- none! :3
Adorable home
Description- play as a couple and adopt loads and loads of cats, look after them and decorate and expand your house!
CW- none! :3
Any papa's game
Description- cook food for customers! All the papa's games are paid for but they're only £1-£3! My personal recommendation is papa's pancakeria!
CW- some of the games have knives in them
🌸Pokemon playhouse
Description- you collect pokemon and play cute mini games with them! This is a good game for little kids who like pokemon!
CW- none! :3
Pokemon smile
Description- brush your teeth to catch pokemon!
CW- none! :3
Pokemon go
Description- walk around outside and catch pokemon! Definitely recommend doing this when it's less cold hehe
CW- none! :3
Pokemon cafe
Description- a match three gand where you make food and drinks fir pokemon customers!
CW- cartoony knife+kitchen equipment maybe
🌸Egg!
Description- raise eggs until they hatch into cute creatures! I loved this game when I was little
CW- none! :3
🌸My school-learning game
Description- be a teacher in a school and teach characters basic maths and English (it has a few different language options depending on where you're from) you can unlock things but you have to pay for them but what is free is fun
CW- none! :3
Colouring games
Description- colour in pictures!
CW- none! :3
🌸Jungle floof
Description- raise jungle animals and play mini games!
CW- none! :3
🌸Applaydu
Description- a kinder egg toy game! Loads of different activities to do and you can unlock characters by scanning your kinder toys!
CW- none! :3
🌸Duo abc
Description- learn the alphabet and basic words (only English), disclaimer? Maybe? not the same as duolingo, this app is made for children
CW- none! :3
Extras! (games I found while making this list)
Plants vs Zombies 1, 2 and 3
Description- fight zombies by setting up plants with different abilities! I recommend this for older kids, I had pvz 1 and 2 when I was younger and I was very bad at it haha
CW- zombies, ungorey violence (no blood etc)
Sundae picnic
Description- make ice cream for cats and dogs! (please don't actually give cats or dogs ice cream)
CW- none! :3
Pokemon sleep
Description- collect pokemon by sleeping (sometimes the app doesn't record your sleep properly but usually it's ok, still fun either way)
CW- none! :3
Khan kids
Description- I haven't played it yet but it looks like it has little mini games for younger kids on it!
CW- idk :c
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cowgurrrl · 5 months
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Something in the Orange
Pairing: Joel Miller x art teacher!reader
Author's note: this might become a mini series idk idk
Summary: A parent-teacher conference leads to trouble [4.0k]
Warnings: no outbreak! au, teacher things, Ellie being a little loner, Joel the Menace making a return, Joel gets both his daughters in this one because it's what he deserves, flirty flirt, i think that's it???
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You feel like you've been running a million miles a minute since you got in this morning. The second you could unlock the door, at least three students spilled into your room and chaotically ran to the kiln to collect their most recent pottery projects. One of them ended up shattering (the exact one you warned Colin about, but he didn't listen), and, as per high school custom, they were all screaming about it. You consoled the students just in time for your principal to walk by and ask about lesson plans which made you scramble through your backpack for your notebook even though you knew damn well there wasn't a single lesson plan in there. "Do you always have those lights on?" Principal Martinez asked, gesturing to the room's fairy lights and orange lamps. Leave it to administration to want to avoid art classrooms so much that they don't even know about the Big Light Philosophy. 
Since then, it's been class after class. You only have one more period before your planning period and then, finally, the end of the day. There are a hundred things to do, but you can't focus on any of them. You got so caught up in managing your classroom and helping students with the hardest parts of their portfolio work that you almost forgot you had a parent meeting scheduled during your planning period. 
Calling in parents for meetings about their children may be your least favorite part of your job. It makes you feel like a bad teacher, and parents usually don't feel great about getting called in on a workday to talk about their kid. Luckily, Ellie's dad, Joel, seemed more than happy to take time to talk about her. You rack your mind for his occupation as you add some detail to a canvas you've been hiding in your office and working on when you can. Was he a blue-collar worker? Or was he another stuck-up Austin transplant parent who's gonna accuse you of lying? He'd make the fifth parent who's made you cry this semester.
A knock on your locked door pulls you from your thoughts, and you quickly put away your painting before answering the door. "I told you she was in here!" One of your students, Dina, announces as she and a posse of three other kids you don't recognize push their way into the room. "Miss, you've gotta take that thing off your door; otherwise, people are gonna think you went home!"
"You mean the sign that says, 'planning period. Do not enter?'" You ask, and she snaps her fingers.
"That's the one." She says as she and her friends start putting their backpacks down at one of your high tables. You sigh and kick the door stopper into the threshold.
"You guys can't stay here. I have a meeting in five minutes."
"With who?"
"None of your business." 
"Miss!" Dina acts wounded, and you cross your arms over your chest, your keys jingling around your neck in the process.
"I am an adult with a college degree and the debt to show for it. You are a teenager with a still-developing brain. You have to listen to me," you say. "Wait, whose class are you supposed to be in right now?"
"Mr. Flynn's."
"Guys!" You groan before walking over to your desk and quickly writing up a hall pass for them. "I know you don't like math-"
"No, we don't like Mr. Flynn." Dina cuts you off.
"Or math!" One of her friends adds, and you shoot them a (loving) disapproving look. 
"Whatever you don't like, you can't keep hiding out here. Mr. Flynn is two seconds away from trying to get me fired for how often I let his kids in here during class, and I actually like this job, so," you rip the hall pass off the pad and hand it to Dina. As they pack their stuff up, a tall, bearded man steps into your classroom and makes eye contact with you. "Out, out, out! I love you. You're gonna change the world one day, but please get out." You blow them kisses as you usher them out of the room. 
"Are you Ellie's art teacher?" He asks, a confused look on his face, and you nod.
"Yes, I am. Sorry about that. They're still figuring out that I have work to get done even when I don't have a class," you explain, a little breathless from running all over the place and getting caught off-guard. You really do try to act a little more professional with parents, but the kids threw you off. The kettle whistling behind your desk doesn't make it any better. "Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Tea?" You pick up a random mug off your desk but find it full of murky water. "Paint water?"
"Are you allowed to have an electric kettle in here?" He asks, and you laugh nervously as you find a clean mug and your tea box. 
"I won't tell if you won't." You say. He stands there awkwardly as you pour yourself some tea, and you realize you didn't pull a chair up for him. "Um, we can sit..." you glance around your messy classroom until you find a clear table and gesture toward it. "Here." He follows your lead, and you take a deep breath as you sit down.
"You gonna be okay?" He asks, the hint of a smirk on his lips. His curly hair looks golden brown in the low light, and his round eyes have a little knowing twinkle. You take another breath to compose yourself and nod. 
"Yes. Sorry. It's been a long day." 
"Don't worry bout it. I'm sure they run you ragged."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Well, you do have paint in your hair." He says, and panic seizes in your chest. You're never more aware of how crazy your job can be until you meet Real Adults. Even if you can't remember what he does for a living, you still have to admit that you look a little silly next to each other: you, with your paint-stained sunflower dress and markered hands, and him, with his black shirt and jeans. He doesn't have any apparent stains or splatters on his clothes, but he's broad with thick biceps. He must work with his hands or something within that capacity. You clear your throat and try to get back on track with the meeting.
"Uh, so Mr. Miller, the reason I called you here today was to talk to you about Ellie," you start. "First, I just wanna say that she is an amazing student. She always does her work and engages thoughtfully with the material. I really do enjoy having her in class." 
"Well, that's certainly good to hear. She talks a whole lot bout this class and you, so... it's nice to place a face to the name," he says, adjusting his position on the stool. "But I have a feelin' you didn't call me down here just to tell me how great my kid is." 
"She is great. She's extremely talented, smart, and funny, but she spends more time in my classroom during lunch than anything else. I'm worried about her making friends and finding a community here at school. I've tried convincing her to join the art club, but she's hesitant. During class, she just sits with her headphones in and draws. She really doesn't like talking to anybody but me." You wait for blame to be assigned to you or get lectured, but it never comes. He just sighs, and he deflates a little in his chair.
"She's been through a lot this year. Well, her whole life, really, but 'specially recently," he says dejectedly. "What can I do for her?"
"There's an art show this Friday night here at the school. It'll all be student work from across the district. I thought if maybe you or... whatever adults she has at home came with her to this, she might feel more comfortable talking to her peers or even want to submit some of her own stuff."
"We can do that. I'll get off work early and ask her uncle if he wants to come," he's quick with his solution, and you're a little shocked. You rarely get parents, let alone fathers, who act this swiftly when something is going on with their kids. "Is there anythin' else goin' on that I should know bout?" 
"Uh, no. Like I said, she's a great kid. You should be really proud." You say, and the concerned wrinkle between his eyebrows disappears with a proud smile. 
"Thank you," he mumbles, suddenly shy. "And thanks for carin' so much bout her. It's nice to know she's got someone lookin' out for her here." You don't know what to say, so you just nod and stare at him. You know, like an idiot. It takes a chuckle from him to snap you out of your thoughts, and blood rushes to your cheeks.
"Yes, of course. She's a good kid." You say. 
"You said that already." 
"I bet you'd be a little scatterbrained if you were at the mercy of two hundred teenagers all day."
"You're absolutely right. I would be," he says, smirking devastatingly. "Someone ought to get you a coffee or somethin' if you're dealing with all that." 
"People like you should go argue with the school board. I'm sure you'd be popular with all the teachers." 
"That'd be a first. I think I might've been the least favorite parent for all of my girls' teachers." 
"Well, I find that hard to believe." 
"Yeah?" He asks, leaning forward just a little, and you nod, smiling. Your brain struggles to come up with something to say, and you're a little embarrassed at your silence, but luckily, your projector saves the day by buzzing loudly and making the picture on the board cut in and out. You mumble a quick apology before getting up and climbing up on a desk to jiggle a piece back into place. You hear Joel curse behind you, and when you turn to see what the problem is, you see him holding his arms out behind you. "Do you stand on desks often?" 
"Only every day. I haven't fallen yet this year." You laugh at his exasperated expression and turn back to the projector. It's still making a weird noise, so you move it around a little more, moving the desk under your feet, and Joel stabilizes it with a sigh. 
"How long has it been doin' that?" 
"Couple months. I keep putting in maintenance requests, but nobody ever comes to fix it."
"I can fix it for ya," he says simply, and you look down at him. "I've got tools in my truck. It wouldn't take long at all."
"Really?" You ask, and he nods. 
"It'd make me feel better knowin' you're not almost breakin' your neck every day."
"You mean, standing on a decades-old desk to mess with an ancient piece of equipment isn't OSHA compliant?"
"Please," he says, grabbing your ankle when the desk wobbles under you, and you laugh at his worry. "Let me fix it for you before you give me a heart attack." You think about declining and just putting in another work order, but the likelihood that anyone would actually come and fix it is slim to none. Plus, you really shouldn't be climbing on top of desks every day. You pretend to think it over for a few more seconds just to watch the worry play across his features as his grip on your ankle gets tighter.
"Only if you really mean it." 
"I really mean it," he says, offering you his other hand. "Now, would you please get down?"
"Fine." You say and take his hand. You bend to safely get yourself down, but Joel moves his other hand from your ankle to your waist and basically hoists you to the ground. Once your feet touch the floor, he doesn't let you go immediately like he's trying to figure out if you somehow got hurt when he wasn't looking. There's a part of your brain that's aware of how inappropriate this would look to any passersby, but you're also highly aware of how warm his big hand is on your hip. 
"Ya alright?" He asks softly, and you nod, taking a conscious step back from his arms.
"Yes, thank you."
"Good," he says, also taking a step back. "Let me go get my tools, and I'll get that fixed for you." 
"Perfect. I'll be here." You stand there, staring at each other awkwardly, for another moment before he turns on his heels and walks out of the classroom. The second he's out of your line of sight, you bury your head in your hands and start silently freaking out. 
What the fuck are you doing? How did a parent-teacher meeting turn into him hauling you off a desk and offering to fix your projector? Technically, nothing incriminating has happened, and it needs to stay that way. It doesn't matter if you think he's attractive or like how he worries about everything. He's Ellie's dad. Teachers have gotten fired for much less than this, and you're not willing to risk your career because of one guy. 
When he gets back with his toolbox, you're sitting at your desk and sorting through assignments like a reasonable adult. He doesn't say anything as he climbs up on the same desk you were standing on and begins messing with the mechanics of the equipment. You each work in silence for a few minutes before a screw clatters to the ground, and he grumbles something under his breath. "Do you mind..." he starts, pointing toward the lost piece. 
"Not at all." You cover your anxiety with your chipper teacher voice and search for the screw with your phone flashlight. You find it tucked between canvases, carefully pick it up, and walk over to where he's standing, waiting for him to be ready for it.
"It looks like it's just an old piece in here. I'm sure you can order a new one, and I can come back and install it if ya want," he explains, looking down at you. You probably look stupid just standing there with a tiny screw in your hand, but he doesn't laugh. "D'you mind handing me that tool to your right?" He asks, and you blindly reach for the tool you think he's talking about. "Your other right." He corrects, and you flush in embarrassment. 
"Sorry. I never was a very good woodshop student." You say, and he laughs once he has the tool in hand. 
"My girls are the same way. Just askin' ‘em to hold a flashlight while I work on their car is like pullin' teeth," he says fondly. "Speaking of which, is there a reason the lights aren't on in here?"
"The lamp light is less harsh, and it helps students focus. Plus, nobody likes coming into a bright classroom first thing in the morning." You explain, and he hums.
"If I'd had a teacher like you growing up, I would've been at school much more than I was."
"You didn't like school?"
"Hated it," he says, opening his hand for the screw. Once you drop the tiny thing into his large palm, he straightens up, and you can barely hear it going back into its rightful place. "'S a miracle I graduated." 
"That was me in college." 
"Now, I don't believe that for a second." 
"Really?" You laugh, and he nods.
"Someone like you, with your pretty dresses and all that empathy, was meant to be a teacher." 
"I wasn't always like this," you evade the compliment despite the butterflies in your stomach. "Being a teacher was never on my radar until I graduated. A lot of my life was never on my radar until then." He puts the hood of the projector back on and climbs down from the desk until he's standing in front of you again, wiping his hands on a red handkerchief from his toolbox. 
"Well, with the way you carry yourself, I never woulda guessed." He says. He opens his mouth to say something more, but the sharp tone of the bell ringing cuts him off. You jump at the sound and look at the clock as if it were wrong. 
"I'm so sorry. Time must've gotten away from me. Thank you so much again, Mr. Miller, for coming in to talk with me and looking at the projector. I hope to see you and Ellie on Friday." You say quickly as the sound of rowdy kids fills the hallway, and you hold your hand out to him. He takes it and squeezes it firmly.
"You can call me Joel. Mr. Miller makes me feel old." He says, and you smile. He doesn't look old, unlike the other dads you've encountered. Sure, he's got some gray at his temples and in his beard, but it suits him. 
"Joel, it is then." You resolve. His hand lingers in yours for a little too long before finally pulling away. "Well, Joel, unless you want to elbow through teenagers, I'd suggest you hide out here for a few more minutes." He does happily, even helping you carry supplies to your car once the hallways have cleared out enough. He's a proper gentleman, slinging your backpack over his shoulder and opening doors for you. You part only once everything is in your trunk, and he bids you goodnight with a charming smile that fills your thoughts on your drive home.
Ellie surprises you the next day as you're setting up the classroom. Normally, she isn't in until right before the bell rings, so seeing her this early is a little bit of a shock. The ink staining her hands is not. "Hey, dude. What's going on?" You ask. "Did you get breakfast from the cafeteria today? I heard Mrs. Hodges has those French toast sticks that everyone loves. You can probably get two servings if you run." 
"No, I already ate. My dad and uncle had to leave early this morning, so we got breakfast. Speaking of which," she says as she takes off her backpack and pulls a cup of iced coffee out of her water bottle pocket. "This is for you. We didn't know what you liked, so we got a vanilla latte or something." 
"Oh, El! You didn't have to do that. Thank you, honey." You say, and she sets it on your desk for you to enjoy once you don't have paintbrushes in hand. "If this is your way of getting a good grade on your piece, I already told you that you have nothing to worry about."
"It wasn't my idea. It was my dad's." She says nonchalantly before moving to the back of the classroom to get her sketch book. You, however, are confused and secretly pleased that Joel thought of you when he didn't have to. You find a message scribbled on the side when you reach for the cup to take a sip. 
Thanks again. See you Friday. -J
You turn to hide your smile from Ellie, but she's so deep in her work that you doubt she would've noticed anyway. You put some music on, and you and Ellie work silently on your projects until the bell rings and the day starts. 
The rest of the week goes by without a hitch, meaning that nobody accidentally ingested paint, and you only had to have one Come to Jesus talk with your Art 1 class. When Friday night rolls around, you're excited to see all the students work and treat yourself by wearing a new shirt with black scribbles all over it and black dress pants. You figure you should look as art teachery as possible for an art teacher event. 
By the time you get to the school, the hallways are buzzing with students dragging their parents from one piece to another and administrators praising their art programs even though you know not one of them has seen the inside of an art classroom in months. You make small talk with some of your students and their parents before finding a way out of the conversation and letting yourself wander through the makeshift gallery. You love your kids, but you really don't want them breathing down your neck as you look at all the art. You're almost at the end when you hear a familiar voice calling your name, and you turn to find Ellie walking toward you with Joel and, who you assume to be her uncle, next to her. 
"Hey, kid! I'm so happy to see you here!" You say sincerely, and she smiles shyly. You turn to her uncle and hold your hand out to introduce yourself. 
"Tommy. We sure have heard a whole lot bout you at home." He says with a smirk, and you laugh. 
"All good things, I hope."
"Of course. Ellie just bout worships the ground you walk on," he says. "Joel was singin' your praises, too." 
"Alright, I think that's enough. Why don't y'all go walk around, and I'll catch up with ya?" He suggests, and Tommy chuckles. Another teacher calls Ellie's name from down the hallway, and she's quick to drag Tommy off to meet him, leaving you and Joel alone. He's replaced his black shirt with a light blue dress shirt, and it looks like he's recently trimmed his beard. He looks nice.
"Singing praises, huh?" You raise your eyebrows at him, and he smiles sheepishly. "Thank you for the coffee the other morning, by the way. It was a really nice surprise." 
"Figured it was the least I could do to thank you for takin' such good care of my girl." 
"Well, thank you. I owe you." 
"You don't owe me a thing," he says. "Although, Tommy was a little upset that I didn't bill you for lookin' at the projector." 
"Was he?" You ask, and he nods.
"Oh, yeah," he laughs. "Said next time I should, at least, ask you on a date."
"Mr. Miller-"
"I thought you agreed to call me Joel." He raises his eyebrows in a silent challenge, and you shake your head, fighting a smile.
"Joel, while I'm flattered by the offer from someone so handsome-"
"You think I'm handsome?"
"I can't date my students' parents." You say, ignoring his question, but even then, the playful look on his face doesn't fade. "Well, I can leave you to it. I know Ellie will probably want to show you around." 
"Right. Of course," he says. "It's really nice to see you."
"You, too. I'm just glad I didn't have paint in my hair this time."
"I don't know. I thought it was kinda cute." You feel yourself blush at his words, but you have to shut it down before it can become anything more than flattery. You take a deep breath and try not to let that stupid smirk weaken your knees as he watches you.
"Goodnight, Joel."
"Goodnight, ma'am." He says, tipping his head politely before sauntering down the hallway like he owns the place. Trouble, you think to yourself. But you can handle trouble. It's in your job description, for Christ's sake. 
So, you brush off the flirting and try to ignore how his kindness and sweet words made you feel. You absolutely cannot flirt with the parent of one of your students. Dating is completely off the table. You can handle this like an adult. You have to. 
After a cold shower and a leftover dinner, you check your email once more before going to bed that night. Sitting in your inbox with alarming clarity is an email from Ellie with the subject line: Art Club. Her email is somehow just as short as her subject line. 
Simply, "When can I start -E." 
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