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sonitavalentine · 7 months

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Will kaname ever find a true love , like a love love , not the complicated kind he always got , i really don't wish for him to waste his one chance at happiness searching for a dead woman's traces , its not like she has done any of that. She just yells at him for no apparent reason. I hope hino stop torturing kaname like this. Even though this story is supposed to be about kaname, yet we still don't get much of him or Know even a bit about him .

I think I said it some time ago that VKM would win if it was a wholesome story about Kaname's life. Like the whole plot would look so much better if it was focused on one timeline with flashback here and there when Kaname, for example, would be finding something special about his past and thus readers would know details of the pas thousand years as well. But with the way the story's built now... it's just a mess, I have to say.

As per him finding a real love, I agree with you - I don't want him to waste the chance he was given, but there's not much space for hope: VK and VKM is a shoujo manga where events are focused on main female character and the huge problem with the majority of such stories is that authors rarely allow main male characters have something outside love interest which is the main female character (projectio-o-on!). Like, the Vk could've ended chapters ago if Hino let Zero get rid of painful feelings for Yuuki and fall for someone else. Hell, VKM could've ended many chapters ago as well, if Hino just let the awoken Kaname live fully like a human being and love another girl. These choices are so much better than both guys focusing on Yuuki and Yuuki only, I mean what's the profit? The only outcome that the majority of readers get from such plot is that neither yume nor zeki were the true love because obviously Yuuki truly love both... I'm afraid true love isn't about that.

So, I'm sorry Anon, but I don't think Kaname will ever find a true love outside his interest for Yuuki. We have to stick to the genre. Not like I'm against Kaname&Yuuki as a couple now, no. If they're happy together in the end - good, amazing, fantastic. But Hino never makes any couple in VK that involves the main trio happy without showing that Yuuki was also craving for someone else, so... This indecisiveness in Hino is what distanced me a lot now from the manga that was once my most favourite.

#vampire knight

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keikakudori · 1 year

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what are aizen’s thoughts on love?

For his thoughts on love, Aizen's thoughts can best be described as complicated. That is, to put it lightly and to describe them in a single word. Of course, where Aizen is concerned, a single word is typically wholly inadequate.

In another vein, his thoughts on love could be that love is dangerous for him. If we're talking about strictly canon, then it's true that everyone that Aizen cares about becomes lost to him, be it through death or through his own actions. Of course, when speaking strictly canon, it's also true that one could cay that Aizen barely cares about anyone when that is not true in the least. We do see Aizen care about others, but how deep that caring actually goes or how genuine it is remains what you truly have to question when all's said and done. He doesn't care about very many people.

And when you look at the fact that the list of people he cares about isn't very long? It becomes even more tragic, honestly. The only people that he's depicted as being close to in canon are Kaname, Gin, and Shinji. That's it. That's all the people on the list, and obviously Aizen is far closer to Gin and Kaname than he is to Shinji.

So yes — Aizen's thoughts on love are that it's probably better if he doesn't love anyone. It's probably better if he doesn't let anyone love him, either. That way lies pain and a sensation of a near inevitable sort of loss. After all, if he doesn't let anyone close, then he won't hurt anyone else, even inadvertently. It's something that helps to compound the sense of loneliness and isolation that he experiences around most people.

Though he will not say so outright, Aizen did kill his own mother. It wasn't intentional. It wasn't something that he wanted. Yet he still did that. He learned it in the Academy when he and his then-classmates were learning about the necessity of controlling their reiatsu around others and training with the basic precepts of that ability. Aizen has always been a very intelligent individual, and he put the information together swiftly. He understood that her death had been his fault because of himself and his own power. It might've been that moment when he began to realize he'd not find someone else to share his views.

Yeah. Lovely, ain't it?

Outside of canon, the amount of people that Aizen cares about only has one or two other names on it; a few of the Espada, Celeste ( @fenixias ), Hiyori ( @viciousvizard ) and that really isn't much of an amount. Of course, given events in canon, the Espada that survive are left to understand he's betrayed and discarded them - such as Aizen's actions with Hallibel - and he has destroyed his relationship with Shinji and Hiyori with his Hollowification experiments.

Then there's the fact that Aizen kept the promise that Kaname asked of him and killed him as a result of that promise.

As for Gin? No. He never wanted Gin dead.

Aizen's first experience with romantic love remains his own experience of how to grow bitter and rotten thanks to how Shinji handled him and their relationship, if it could even be called a relationship. In a very specific way, he was treated almost like a mistress. He was hidden away from others. He was neglected. He was very literally kept a guilty secret with their relationship being kept under total lock and key by Shinji and his own way of treating his lieutenant, which was to say not very well. The nights were rare when Shinji would not immediately push Aizen out of bed after they'd been intimate or left on his own and they were left to sleep together until the morning light and Aizen cherished those nights deeply. But they were few and far between, happening rarely and therefore the resentment was left to build up slowly in Aizen.

He doesn't hate Shinji, not the way he used to but he does feel a certain resentment and bitterness towards him along with love. He does still love Shinji - and is still in love with him in a small way - but it's become something coarse and thorny. So it is that his first real experience with love became something twisted and, unfortunately, left a profound impact on him as a person. The impact is something that still echoes down the years and we see some of it in how Aizen treats Momo, with that seeming closeness but ultimate indifference. Shinji left Aizen damaged but not incapable of love or caring.

Kaname and Hiyori he loves as friends. It's simple. In a very real way, they're among the only friends he's ever had.

His mother he still loves with the simplicity of a child; Naoko's presence in his life is still very much there, even if he lost her when he was still barely more than a toddler. That love lingers and is unlikely to ever vanish. But the fact that he lost her during what is known as the formative years for a child also left a significant impact upon him as a person. It instilled a feeling of I'm too much; I'm suffocating; I'm too much to be around. I hurt people I care about. deep into him and his soul and that pain has been something which has shaped so much of how he views himself and his own power with resentment.

Mind you, this isn't conscious thought on his part. It's the kind of view that takes outside help to clarify or an external force to bring it into focus.

To add yet more complexity, Aizen's view of love is also that it's dangerous. This one is a more conscious line of thought, if not something that is active in his head. The knowledge of how love is dangerous ties into his emotions for and towards Gin. Aizen is aware - well aware in fact - that Gin has every ability and readiness to kill him. He's highly aware of that fact. He's also aware that if he were to ever confess his emotions towards him, that would provide the younger man with power untold over Aizen. In truth, Gin's rejection could be enough to shatter Aizen outright. Equally, Aizen does not try to show this emotion. He realized it long, long ago on a night when Gin told a stupid joke over one of their latest victims, a joke which had Aizen laughing, and then he realized. So he buried it almost immediately.

And while Aizen may not speak his feelings or even let it close to conscious thought? He does show it in his actions with Gin. He shows it in how he smiles at him indulgently when Gin's being chaotic. Sharing his food with the younger man is significant because they both come from the same sort of background in the Rukongai. He allows Gin to steal his yukata and his kiseru on a regular basis. He shows it in how he'll corner Gin in order to get medicine down his throat (and how many times he dragged him to the Fourth when Gin was really sick), accepting that he'll be fought the entire time. He shows it by sharing himself with Gin.

It is, in fact, love which spurns Aizen onwards in the canon divergent verses to display so much.

Aizen may still be in love with Hirako Shinji in a way, but that love is vastly eclipsed by what he feels for Gin. In the red!verse, this love he carries is enough to have Aizen ready to lay siege to Silbern practically on his own; the monster is there for what is his. In the f!verse, the love Aizen carries for Gin is what finally helps him to achieve Bankai for the first time in his life. In the zombie!verse, that love has become rage and Leviathan has shown itself at last to try and take Gin away from Gigi.

I know some people may not understand this kind of emotional extremism from Aizen, but he's been trapped in Muken for two years. That's two years of total isolation and sensory deprivation. He might be over-correcting, or even overcompensating. But it's equally true that Aizen does feel emotional extremes at times which is why I don't think the fact that his thoughts on love would be something that is easily clarified. He thinks it's messy. He thinks it can be ridiculous. He thinks that he's better than that foolishness. And yet he's very much a man who does feel love and is capable of loving others. He loves Gin so much that he'll break the world rather than lose him again.

tl;dr? Aizen's thoughts on love boil down to "shit's messy no thank you" whilst absolutely being in love and devoted to Gin.

#ask tbt;#Anonymous #meta tag;#headcanon tag;#this is the kind of question that gets messy answers like this one #i hope this made sense

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justsalpals · 2 years

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(spoilers for AI: the Somnium Files, but not for the Nirvana Initiative as it isn't out yet at time of writing)

This has been a long build coming, but I've got a goddamn bone to pick. Overall the story has its problems, but I can overlook them to simply Vibe and have a good time with my video game. It's not the type of game you're supposed to get nitpicky about, and I respect that.

But on the right side of the flowchart, in the path leading to either the Iris end or true end, Date's character gets fucking slaughtered.

I love Kaname Date. I love him so much. He's a bit too disrespectfully horny for my (and most people's) tastes, but he's actually extremely deep as a character. He's genuinely really smart and good at his job, honing in on Saito immediately after every murder with evidence to back it up.

He's goofy, loves puns, is always breaking the tension with something dumb and/or horny, but is extremely professional when it comes to his work. The interogation scene with Saito!Iris feels masterful. When speaking to Mayumi, he is patient and kind while still upholding picture perfect professionalism. He gets help from Aiba sure, but it feels like a give and take. It's not just her solving everything, they bounce off each other and have an actual partnership. It's a conversation, not a lecture. They cover each other's blind spots. He escapes into his work to push aside any nasty feelings looking overhead, throwing himself into murder investigation so he doesn't have time to think about his friend being DEAD.

And of course, his entire relationship with Mizuki. Not trusting himself to be the family she needs, but unable to sit by and watch this little girl in a bad situation. Considering Renju and Shoko (or at least Renju) his friends, but putting his foot down when so many people would just pretend not to see. Inviting her into his home, giving his bed, carving out a place in his life where she can fit because she deserves to have somewhere safe deserves to have someone she can shout at and mock and just be a KID to. I could write fucking paragraphs about their relationship and the Mizuki ending, but I will refrain.

The right side of the flowchart, the "true" ending, take that all away from him. Suddenly he feels like a watered down ghost of himself, with a terminal case of Protagonist Syndrome. Aiba has to explain everything like he's a child. So much of his personality feels muted down and bland as the game chooses instead to focus on the mystery. Which, fine, even if I don't like it I can understand why character sometimes takes a backseat to plot. But the introduction of Falco feels like a man we don't even know. There are shared components of course, and I can see the described past fitting well enough to the Date we know. But suddenly revolving his whole life around the Sagans feels like he's just throwing away the life he led as Date, and I know I'm not the only one who feels Mizuki got unfairly shoved aside in that timeline.

I hate right side of the flowchart Date so much. I miss my surprisingly competent, wise cracking, accidental father so much and he was TAKEN from me and the accepted true end has a pale imitation. The Sagans are lovely, but this has made me bitter towards them and those wonderful ladies have done nothing to earn my ire. They do not deserve this.

Tune in next time to hear my opinions on all the people Date has slept with, the verdicts may shock you.

#ai the somnium files #kaname date

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industria-adastra · 7 months

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Romantic Horror Modern/No Vampires AU?

So the thing was that I wanted to challenge myself and incorporate the whole Kaname Kuran (Real) and Kaname Kuran (Ancestor) thing that was in VK alongside Kaname (Ancestor) telling Yuuki that he was basically the cause of her real brother's death in a modern/no vampires AU whilst also making it Yume. The idea isn't fully fleshed out yet but I have a few keypoints.

Kaname and Yuuki are not going to be related in this AU but I feel like I could make a similar/even more horror-like/dark romance thing if they were siblings - However I'd have to add the parental horror from Juuri and Haruka... Honestly both sound like pretty interesting paths I could take with this AU

The main thing is that this is based off the manga/manga oneshot "The Summer Hikaru Died". As the title says, "Hikaru" dies out in the woods/mountains and is thusly replaced by an eldritch being who basically uses his body like a skinsuit. One of the only people who knows this is Hikaru's best friend, Yoshiki...who was tragically also in love with him. It's not clear whether Hikaru liked him back, but this "Hikaru" definitely wants to keep Yoshiki around.

So I'll keep Kaname and Yuuki's close (enough) relationship in canon, by basically making them neighbours and childhood friends. (They're both named Kuran in this idea, but they're unrelated. Rido is Kaname's emotionally distant dad in this. Kinda like when two people both have Smith as a last name but are unrelated, or at least so distantly it wouldn't even matter.) Kaien still raises Zero (and Ichiru as well possibly? I'm not sure whether to make it so Shizuka becomes his adoptive mother or just make her the older woman he has a crush on but won't pursue).

Now, where does the real and ancestor Kaname thing come in? By ancestor Kaname being an eldritch being who now pilots the previous Kaname's body. Yuuki is obviously not happy about this but also wants to do her best to view "Kaname" as his own person and not as a replacement for the Kaname she knew - this being because he acts perfectly like the one she knew. She knows this "Kaname" is not responsible for Kaname's death (which in this AU is still by Rido's hand), but her best friend is still dead. And he's making it very hard not to do so, even as she tries to introduce him to new, different things in order to at least differentiate him from the Kaname she knew. She cares for him, but she's mourning too. Basically it's complicated(TM).

Ancestor Kaname is obssessed with her via a combination of the previous Kaname's feelings (which were never spoken out loud), and his previous lack of experience dealing with human emotion or even normal human experiences. And Kaname latching onto Yuuki leads to messed up things happening because I did say this would be a horror romance AU.

Would there be a happy ending for this AU.... Maybe a true happy one is possible, but a merry bad ending is also equally, if not more possible.

#my ideas #fanfiction #vampire knight #yuuki cross #yuuki kuran #kuran yuuki #cross yuuki #kuran kaname #kaname kuran #eternal yume #au #horror romance #this is such a niche au but idk i feel like yume has so many flavours this could easily be one of them #if im carving myself out a space in vk/yume tumblr ig it's gonna be for overly specific AUs

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godkilller · 3 years

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❝ gin--! ❞

he had called his name that night - screamed it, really -- when he had seen the small body being swept under kisuke's arm. he had screamed after them, those two -- only the howling from his captain had diverted kisuke urahara from what he had been about to do. for all of aizen's abilities -- he could not yet face down a bankai.

he had tried, though -- had tried. the captain had been skilled, however. cunning. even with the kanzen saimin in place, he had still landed a hit and kaname-- kaneme! he'd been breathing at least, and it'd been enough for aizen to pull him up and get them both to the fourth that night, collapsing from pain and bloodloss, deliriously mumbling of having been attacked by interrupting the captain in what he'd been doing --

collaborators.

he had made urahara into a proper patsy, had cared only about that -- until he'd woken up and found everything out. a month and more -- more -- since kisuke had taken him. and more than him -- more than that, more than --

a hilt wrapped in a shade that was not teal was grasped between his fingers as he stared at the place to which he'd been guided, coaxed, kyoka's awareness linked to another, one not his own. weeks it has been and he is here now, the shop standing no chance against the wrath of the one who now wears the haori lined with turquoise. a shade so near gin's eyes -- he is here, now, the smoldering wreckage proving his fury as he sweeps to --

there.

the entrance is easy to discover, a flaring of power and it splinters under the weight of his wrath. he is quick to launch himself down there, quick to call out again.

❝ GIN--! ❞

he can sense him down here.

❝ GIN--! WHERE ARE YOU?! ❞

his is the seat of captain now and he is willing to admit he's being reckless by doing this -- but oh, the cracks in the blade that is cradled between finger and palm, the loss of not just him but the youth that had become his shadow too in one night? no. no, aizen is calling, power seething around him, seeking for him. he knows he's here. he can sense it.

he had made a promise to shinso, hadn't he--?

and to himself.

he's going to murder the former captain when he gets his hands on him but better, now, to find gin and get him out of here, isn't it--? best to sweep in and out. before the humans can investigate but oh, he's seething.

THAT NIGHT WAS A BLUR, ROARING ECHOES AND A BLASTING FORCE. Tsukabishi Tessai, alongside Urahara Kisuke, had been formidable indeed. Yet their appearance in the midst of Aizen’s experimentations upon Gin’s captain was a necessary interruption indeed. Not even that, an interruption, no, planned. They were to be framed, after all. Their attendance was expected and one could have even ventured to say ‘perfect’ ... that is, prior to Tessai’s casting of Hado number eighty-eight, Hiryu Gekizoku Shinten Raiho. Something Aizen had believed a subsequent casting of Danku, a Bakudo level eighty-one, to be sufficient in blocking. AND IT DID.... somewhat. Perhaps he hadn’t accounted for how serious Urahara and his allies would be in stopping them from walking away, because the Kido Master shattered through that protective wall within a flashing spark and blaze.

It was the first time Gin had ever seen a split-second show of shock grace the Lieutenant at his side’s features. Maybe that was why he acted fast, faster than Aizen and Tousen, he had always been focused on training himself to strike wickedly swift, and he did not disappoint them then. Gin had drawn Shinso and cut lightning. But he was still, no matter his speed or darting blade, a mere boy, a Third Seat standing against the snarling storm of a Kido Master’s design, and for the split second of deflecting there came many more agonizing seconds thereafter of rippling defeat as the high level Kido won over. Shocks shot through his body, cracked across Shinso’s blade till it flew from his grasp and embedded itself into the ground, a mirroring effect onto its wielder as Gin was blasted by that same force which proceeded to send him backward, flying, tumbling, tumbling, and black.

Perhaps they had felt guilty, striking down some young and promising kid when they truly had wanted Aizen to be hit, and that was why Gin awoke within an unfamiliar abode. Or maybe Urahara Kisuke wanted information, and Gin was to be hostage, informant, kept holed up -- because when Gin gathered his surroundings, his state ( sore, scuffed up, and the worst headache -- the rest he couldn’t tell, bandaged up -- where was Shinso? A hand flying out, reaching, searching blind before he even turned his head to look. Ah, fuck, he must’ve dropped it, yeah... he dropped it, and they hadn’t taken it with him, damn it ) ... it was his immediate reaction to seek an escape.

That hadn’t gone too well. Guarding the exit, despite Gin’s careful and silent steps, was Yoruichi. He knew he couldn’t outrun her. Flash Goddess, wasn’t she? Best to not even bother making a fool of himself. Especially whilst still aching from the blast he took.

He was implored to rest, to stay put, to recover and that he couldn’t go back.

Gin couldn’t open a Senkaimon without Shinso, and thus that held true; he couldn’t go back even if he managed to run past the shopkeeper and bolt.

Urahara Kisuke was not a cruel man, Gin found, but he was also the secretive type, and the kind of man that seemed to believe that he knew what was best. That sort of cruel. He believed and enacted his beliefs regardless of protest. Like so, in that keeping Gin here was best. Part of Gin wanted to agree, to stay, be plucked from Aizen’s clutches and be free of those howling nights... yet the other yearned to return, ached even. He felt he didn’t belong, this was wrong. Particularly a potent realization that he was no longer within the Seireitei, he wanted to return to Rangiku. Oh, she was going to be so worried. No doubt Aizen still spun the story of the villainous Urahara Kisuke, no doubt Gin’s own name had been listed as one of his victims. But Aizen would know better than to write him off as dead, surely. No, he’d know better, knew his boy prodigy could take a hit -- and certainly his Zanpakuto remained behind, yet solid and tangible, it hadn’t vanished to signal the death of its wielder. Likely Gin was reported as kidnapped.

And Aizen would likely be searching for him, among others.

Gin couldn’t deny the fact that, despite a fresh form of hatred brewing beneath him, seething really, a sickly stomach and a choked up throat.... how it terrified him, sometimes, to know he was well and truly entrapped by this man, no escape, already far too tangled to ever hope to pull himself away... oh, and yet he couldn’t deny that he wanted Aizen to find him. HE WAS TOO FAR DOWN THIS ROAD TO SHY AWAY NOW, too far down the line, he didn’t know what to do with himself if Aizen didn’t find him.

Luckily, the thought didn’t plague Gin too terribly... even as days stretched on and Gin inevitably had to cave into eating what was offered to him, kind words and warm food did not reach him -- hollowly, patiently, he waited in near-muteness. HE WOULDN’T TELL URAHARA ANYTHING, no matter his gentle demeanor and respecting air, Gin steeled himself akin to a prisoner of war and it became apparent to the older man that the kid had no intentions to trust, to open up. Gin didn’t do that shit for anyone. He’d be damned if he caved and spit his secrets to the one man Aizen had verbally made known that he loathed... and if Aizen found out Gin confessed anything? Wouldn’t he then become a loose end a little... too... costly to be kept alive? Gin saw what Aizen did to pawns who disappointed him. Even Tousen, one of his top favorites, occasionally earned himself a scolding look that spoke of authority and displeasure... would Gin risk everything he had worked for thus far simply to confide in a stranger, shopkeeper, who had stolen him away from it all? No, not worth it.

Besides, Gin knew it wouldn’t be much longer here.

Weeks turned to a month, or something close to it.

But Gin knew it’d be soon. Aizen was, after all, a thorough man.

So was Urahara, as he had Gin moved downward, below the shop, across an an expansive underground training area ( Gin didn’t bother trying to wrap his head around the fact that the ceiling looked like the sky outside, save for that ladder and opening... a strange set-up indeed ) A SMART MOVE, ultimately, as it kept Gin from being able to run away without first crawling from the single exit and entrance to the underground space, and it also kept him from getting absolutely leveled alongside the shop the moment Aizen’s reiatsu became known overhead.

Gin was accustomed to Aizen’s reiatsu in that he hardly even shuddered upon its weight thrashing downward, and the subsequent explosive force that wrecked the shop above. The Third Seat simply sat upright, looked upward, and held his breath. IT WAS BROAD DAYLIGHT UNDERNEATH THIS FALSE SKY, BUT GIN KNEW BETTER, he felt the chill of the air above flowing in from cracks, drafts, he knew too that Aizen would not act so boldly within a blanket of sunlight -- not yet, at least -- but still how odd it was to see moonlight begin pooling in, downward, from a sunny ceiling crumbling to give way for its visitor.

A visitor who descended from the false sky’s wreckage as a nightbringer would, doused in darker hues, an ethereal world-ender he was making himself to be -- to become -- before Gin’s own eyes. A PART OF GIN’S UPBRINGING IN THE RUKONGAI URGED HIM TO RUN AND HIDE AT THE MERE SIGHT, seeing such a display of desperate might ( Aizen was desperate, Aizen was pissed off, he had come for Gin and Gin alone in this moment and it both sickened and pleased him ) ... and part of Gin wanted to turn and run and not look back. HE WANTED TO STAY, HE WANTED TO WATCH THE KOI POND AND THINK NOTHING OF DEATH, CLEAN FINGERNAILS, THE PURRING OF A BLACK CAT, WARM CLOTHES... HE WANTED TO CRY, NO, TAKE ME HOME, I MISS HER, SHE’S WAITING FOR ME, PLEASE -- AH, HE WANTED TO GET OUT WHILE HE STILL COULD, STAY AWAY FROM ME, NO, HELP ME.

Part of him lingered in shadow, stepping half a step backward rather than forward, into visibility, into Aizen’s frantic range of sight. He could hide himself still, wait for Urahara to step up to challenge Aizen’s wrath, wait for them both to clash and destroy... and then slip away. Or he could open his mouth now, and seal his fate to remain tethered to the man’s side forever more.

He teetered there, for a second alone, at the precipice.

Then the boy called out to Aizen. A quick response, a signal; I’m here!

Gin had never been one to listen to self-preserving advice.

#[ roleplay ] predator; murder on his mind & hymns on his tongue #[ verse: third seat ] and from that mouth that devours i cry out to you #au where aizen gin and tousen get actually wreckt by urahara and tessai before they're properly framed #a lil mix/hint of #shikzue #'s lil au of urahara taking in gin when he's still a kiddo because aizen's lost custody of the child(tm)#except gin's not gonna open up because he knows aizen's out looking for him and he can't just dabble willy nilly with two sides when #without his weapon and without experience Playing Chess with the Big Boys.#better to just stay quiet and wait ----#rip this poor kiddo.#URAHARA'S TRYING TO HELP YOU BUT YOU'RE ALREADY TOO FAR GONE.#THINKING AIZEN'S THE BETTER OPTION #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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altairattorney · 3 years

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In response to your little rant about Homura's depiction in Rebellion, here's this.

"The end of Rebellion is... controversial, but let's unpack what happened here. What occurred?

Well, firstly, Homura was traumatized and tortured; the Homura at the end of Rebellion is not the Homura of PMAS; she's gone through trauma and loss that PMAS!Homura can't even conceive of. She literally turned into a fucking witch because Kyubey gaslit her into thinking she made up Madoka Kaname, according to Wraith Arc.

Then, during this process, she learns two important facts that fucks her worldview: 1) Madoka didn't want to leave her loved ones and give up her normal life if she had any other alternative, and 2) Kyubey is trying to destroy the Law of Cycles (that is, Madoka Kaname), and has figured out a means of stopping her from interacting with Magical Girls under controlled lab conditions, meaning they could eventually succeed in their objective.

That means if Homura let herself go into the Law of Cycles, she would be unable to protect Madoka, and the Incubators would eventually destroy her. Madoka will have been erased and forgotten with nothing to show for it. Homura could only cope with everything with the promise of being reunited with her and the solace that Madoka's sacrifice was worth it, and Kyubey took that away from her.

And, more importantly: Homura's wish had yet to come true. Homura's wish wasn't to be with Madoka, or to save the world. It was to protect Madoka. To be the one to protect her.

To put it in other terms, Homura was self-loathing to the point of suicide-ideation because she was worthless, good for nothing, a burden on everyone. That she should just die. Madoka saw worth in her, and tried to change that, but Madoka died.

Only one person in her entire life ever told Homura she was happy to have met her and this wonderful, kind, happy, heroic, courageous, beautiful, miracle of a person who walked into her life to tell her those words died.

DIED. FOR. HER.

Died to protect her. Died so that a worthless piece of SHIT like herself could live. Someone who had EVERYTHING in the world died with a smile to protect someone who didn't even want to. Not without her.

Not instead of her.

She was good for nothing before and now her mere existence caused the best person she'd ever known to die. She ruined Madoka's entire life by having been a part of it.

She has to fix it. She has the chance to.

She wishes, wishes, WISHES to go back, to unfuck this, to undo this, to be cool like Madoka said she could have been. To protect her. To be her shield. To be WORTH something because she protected something valuble. To pay her back for all her kindness like she'd never been able to do and finally, finally in her life, have done something that justifies everything else.

She didn't wish for Madoka to live. She didn't wish for her to be saved. She wished to be the one to save her so she could support her and reinvent herself as someone who isn't a garbage shit person.

And every single time, she fails.

No matter what she does. No matter how she compromises herself. No matter what disgusting sins she does (and she never crosses so many lines that she says she WOULD cross). Madoka keeps dying.

And most of those times. She dies for Homura. She dies, again, for Homura. She dies again and again and again and again in order to help Homura.

Until the very last time, she wishes to save Homura (and everyone else), so much that she never existed at all.

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT. DAMMIT. This is worse this is WORSE THIS IS WORRRRSE!

But she still tries to cope. Madoka's in heaven. She's saving everyone. Madoka had a smile. The world is BETTER, and she'll see her again.

Until the above happened. And Kyubey is going to destroy Madoka Kaname. She won't have ever been born and she won't even be saving Magical Girls. She'll truly be nothing.

Because she came to save Homura, fucking AGAIN.

And all this time she still never saved her. Never ONCE saved her. Not a single time has she ever, ever, EVER fucking saved her. Not ever, has she ever saved her, not even when Madoka made her final fucking wish.

Homura made a wish that never came true. So she never stopped being Good for Nothing. She has never made up for Madoka's kindness. She has never, emotionally, left that moment where she sobbed over Madoka's dead corpse in the water and the rain. And she's done that so many fucking times.

So that's her mindset. So when she saw the chance. She took it. If you can interact with Madoka, you can effect Madoka. So.

God dammit. Fucking for once. Fucking finally. This time, her last chance she'll EVER HAVE... she will save her.

Save Madoka Kaname. Not a vague concept. Not a hero. Not a law or a god. Not a cosmic idea. Madoka. KANAME. The person who smiled at her and said she was cool. The person who helped her buy a cellphone. The kind, wonderful person who loved and named a stray cat and pressed her face to hers and laughed and congratulated her for her accomplishments. The person who said that meeting Homura was her happiest memory.

Why can't this person, of all people, be happy? All Madoka Kaname wanted was to live her fucking life. With her family. With her friends and classmates. Living her day to day life which wasn't anything special but it was so special to her.

She WILL save her. Goddammit, she failed so many times because she always kept holding herself back but if this is her last chance then GODDAMMIT fuck it all, damn herself too.

She never cared, really, about being with Madoka. She was willing to die for her. She explicitly had plans to leave the town to Kyouko after Walpurgisnacht and LEAVE (probably to kill herself so her Witch didn't come for Madoka). She was going to die for her in Rebellion so that she'd be safe from the Incubators.

If she could save her, if she can finally succeed and protect that human smile living her human life, it's fine if Homura Akemi isn't a part of it. If Madoka can smile, she doesn't have to smile at her anymore. That's PERFECTLY FINE.

So she did it. She stole a piece of the Law of Cycles. Not a big piece. Not the Law, or the Power, or the Salvation. The Law of Cycles still functions in some sense, because there's still no Witches, there's still Wraiths, there's still Angels.

She stole "Madoka Kaname", the human being that the Goddess used to be. She stole her, yes. She took over the universe, yes. But what did she do?

She made it so Madoka Kaname existed, again. Reunited with everyone she cared about. She gave Kyouko, Mami, Sayaka, and everyone else the happiest lives she could give them without undoing their pasts (disrespecting their agency and core selves), even if it was only to keep Madoka happy in her silver garden.

She tortures Kyubey but no one's crying tears over that fucker. She seems to be letting the world run its course as naturally as possible, save for suppressing people's memories of what's really going on.

Sayaka, alive. Nagisa, alive. Living with Kyouko and Mami respectively. Madoka, alive.

Hell, the only change she made that we know of to Madoka's memories is three years in America.

Because, canonically, English is Madoka's worst subject.

And now, she's great at it.

No matter what it takes. Madoka Kaname will be happy. She deserves it. And Homura will make that happen, even if she, herself, never is.

But yeah go off about how Homura is a yandere stalker who likes to kill people."

Hey there! I thank you for your post and your insight, and I wanted to clarify that I don't disagree at all with this view of Rebellion and how it ended. I think it is all correct, actually. The problem I have with it is 1. Rebellion existing at all, and 2. the way they portrayed her choice as an act of evil conceived by a demon.

To begin with, there are a few details that I don't think really make sense considering how pmmm worked. Homura shouldn't even be a witch, first of all. Secondly, even though she cannot know for sure, I don't think Homura would have willingly told Kyubey about the world of before if there were any danger. Heck, I don't even understand how Kyubey could possibly have stolen Madoka, now that she is not an entity but a literal concept, a rule of the universe. Imo that is beyond absurd. Third, I am doubtful Homura would have gone against Madoka's wish, even though I totally understand why she did in the context of Rebellion.

The problem I have with Homura is that people thought about her as a yandere emotionless stalker who has an unhealthy obsession with Madoka even before Rebellion existed. That was a popular sentiment, and the big, big problem I have with this film is that while what she did isn't inherently bad or wrong - as you explained - the movie paints her as a LITERAL DEMON in the moment she makes that choice, and ALSO at the exact same time she declares her love canonically. That is so fucked up in so so so many ways. As not literal it may be, they gave her that creepy smile, and show that Madoka is confused in her new bubble and feels like she is someone else but can't remember why. And Homura brushes it off. As wonderful as it is that she is there, Madoka is uncomfortable, Sayaka is obviously enraged and Homura plays the part of the Evil Character.

This is just all so unfair and so wrong. It doesn't only negate the way this anime ended - and of course Homura deserved to go with peace and quiet like everyone else. No magical girl has to ever suffer like that again, including Madoka, right? (There were so many ways to reunite her with Madoka, but no.) It also visibly paints Homura as being on the dark side, and validates the horrific lens people saw her character through even before the film. It canonizes her as a lesbian in the same moment she is doing something clearly framed as wrong, and, on a surface level, reinforces her obsession. This is just a textbook predatory lesbian trope. I am sorry if you don't see it the same way, but it is just horrific to me.

I will never agree with Rebellion existing. I cannot stand the ending of this anime being undone and Homura being punched in the face and further tortured both in universe and as a character, after all the crap she went through. It is just disrespectful.

And as I said, she deserved better.

#Pmmm #Pmmm rebellion #Pmmm spoilers #Long post

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