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betawooper · 3 years

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rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like “oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kny meta #demon slayer #my writing #long post

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kuriquinn · 4 years

Text

Inquiring Minds Want To Know [one-shot]

Blanket Fic Disclaimer

Original Prompt by: Anonymous

" you know how men rate girls on the scale of their hotness? And that girls do the same? But the difference is that men are scaled not on their hotness, but on the size of their penis" I read this line somewhere and was hoping if you can make a fic related to it? Cause that would be awesome 😂😂”

Author’s Note: As promised during Evil Author Day, my goal is to actually finish some of my WIPs this year. So, here’s one that a lot of people have been asking about.

Warning: Total crack. Like seriously. It’s going into the Poor Judgement ‘verse along with the other ridiculous stuff I come up with.

Beta Reader: *None but me and my editing software :)

Read it on Ao3 if you’re a registered user!

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

“And, it’s official!” Sakura declares, pouring the last bit of sake into her cup before raising it in front of her. “The Fourth Annual Sexy Wives of Konoha Summit is now in session. Kanpai!”

The rest of the women in the back booth of the izakaya raise their own porcelain cups and chorus, “Kanpai!” before tipping back the alcohol.

“Can I just say, I think our summit is a lot more fun than the Kage summit?” Tenten suggests.

“Definitely,” Temari agrees. “More alcohol, which I’m in favor of.”

“And we probably have more interesting stuff to talk about,” Karui decides.

“Does anyone actually know what they’re talking about?” Ino wants to know.

“Something about tariffs,” Hinata replies. “Or…sheep, I think. Maybe both.”

“Or aliens,” Sakura submits.

“Or aliens.”

“You know what they should be talking about?” Ino wants to know. “Better footwear for shinobi. I mean, seriously, the athletic sandals we used to wear as genin? Do you know how much blood and muck I used to get between my toes? It’s a nationwide crisis, is what it is.”

“Yeah!” Manako agrees. “Screw aliens.”

“Or preferably don’t,” Sakura muses. “Since that’s how you get god-tier ninja prone to insanity and several lifetimes of angst on repeat.” Everyone glances at her curiously and her clears her throat. “Never mind.”

The other women murmur their agreements, clink their cups, and drink deep again.

Ino glances at her watch. “So how long do you think we have?”

“Until Sai instigates a fight between Naruto and Sasuke, and one or both of them go flying out of the Hokager Tower,” Sakura replies sagely.

Temari shakes her head. “You know, there are days when I think I married the biggest pain in the ass, and then I remember who you married.”

“Are those the days you take a break from bullying Shikamaru to stuff him with food?”? Ino teases.

“I wouldn’t have to stuff him with food if the idiot would just eat during the day.”

“Naruto’s the same,” Hinata sighs. “They’re so busy all the time. And it’s starting to affect the children. Boruto’s been acting out more and more since Naruto became the Hokage. And Himawari’s entered to ‘no’ stage.”

“I know how to fix that one,” Karui says. “If she keeps saying no, ask her if she wants something sweet. When she ‘nopes’ herself out of a treat a few times, that will stop.

“Augh! Are you kidding?!” Ino interrupts suddenly. “Are we seriously talking about our husbands and kids?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Sakura asks.

“Besides the fact we always talk about our husbands and kids? Come on, ladies, get it together! Just because we have babies now doesn’t make us any less badass. Let’s live it up!”

“Four more terrifying words were never uttered,” Temari says.

“Gai in a thong,” Manako offers without missing a beat.

Tenten and Karui spit out the drinks they were sipping, while Ino and Sakura groan. Even Hinata gives a bit of a shudder.

“I stand corrected,” the blond woman says, tipping her own drink in acknowledgement.

“I’m both intensely curious and terrified of the thoughts in your head,” Sakura informs the Inuzuka woman. “And I’ve been a medic in warzones.”

“We all have our little talents,” Manako says. “So—what’s the plan for tonight? Drinking games?”

“Obviously,” Ino says. “But how can we make it more fun?”

“We could go to the Hokage Rock and draw all over Naruto’s face. Not like doesn’t have it coming.”

“How can we make it more fun without getting arrested,” Sakura amends, rolling her eyes.

“Who’s going to arrest you? You’re a hero of Konoha.”

“We could do karaoke,” Tenten suggests. “There’s a new place that opened a few blocks away.”

“No one wants to hear me sing,” Temari says, while Hinata desperately shakes her head; she still tends to avoid any kind of public attention.

“All that stuff sounds complicated,” Karui says. “And it involves more walking around than I feel like tonight.”

“Assuming you can even walk at the end of the night.”

“That too.”

“What about Truth or Dare?” Manako offers, all would-be-innocence. “That’s always a crowd pleaser.”

That earns a few groans.

“That’s so predictable,” Ino complains. “We seriously can’t come up with anything else?”

“Well, we could do ‘Never Have I Ever’, but somebody’s husband officially blacklisted that game two years ago.”

Everyone looks at Hinata, who shrugs. “I still don’t know why he did that. Something about village morals.”

“If it involved anyone affiliated with Team 7, I don’t want to know,” Tenten says decisively.

“Now that that’s settled,” Manako nods and leers at Ino. “Truth or dare?”

“Oh my god, are we actually doing this?” she groans, and throws back her sake. “Okay. Fine. Truth.”

“Lame,” Sakura accuses.

“I’ll remind you when it’s your turn.”

Manako, after thinking about it a few moments, grins. “Alright. I’ve got one: if Sai wanted to roleplay during sex, who or what would you want him to role play as?”

Ino’s jaw drops. “Are you kidding me?”

“Wow, she went right for the dirty stuff on the first go,” Tenten guffaws.

“And you’re surprised by this?” Temari quips.

“Anytime now, Ino-pig.”

“I’m going to get you back for this.”

“You’re stalling,” Manako singsongs. “Do I need to come up with a penalty dare?” She grins, sharp canines giving her a wolfish look.

“No!” Ino snaps, rightly wary of any dare the older woman might conceive of. She purses her lips for a moment, cheeks still burning bright, and then holds her head up as if deciding she won’t be embarrassed by this. “I’m the daimyo’s virginal daughter and Sai’s the court artist commissioned to paint my portrait, only as soon as we’re alone he seduces me. Only we have to be completely quiet or we’ll get caught.”

The other women giggle a little at that.

“That seems very well thought out,” Manako says. “Also, kind of tame for what I expected from you.”

“What exactly did you expect, some kind of dominatrix fantasy?” Ino grumbles. “Sai’s very literal. It’s hard to get him to pretend things outside of what he knows.”

“That sounds an awful lot like it’s something you’ve actually done.”

“Forehead, truth or dare,” Ino orders, the abruptness more telling than an actual verbal answer.

Manako sniggers as Sakura rolls her eyes, folds her arms as if expecting a challenge, and replies, “Dare.”

“Coward.”

“Bite me.”

They stick their tongues out at each other.

“Fine. Wimp out. I dare you to…” Ino casts about for a moment, and then smirks. “I dare you to do a body shot off Hinata’s chest.”

“What?!” the Hokage’s wife squeaks as the other women roar with laughter.

“Now who’s going right for the dirty stuff?” Manako jeers. “Although I can’t say I disapprove.”

“That’s not…why would you…?” Hinata looks like there might be steam coming out of her ears.

“Relax, Hinata,” Sakura grumbles. “I’m not going to do something you’re uncomfortable with, and she knows it.” She juts her chin out at her best friend. “What’s the penalty truth?”

“Does Sasuke ever motorboat you?” Ino asks immediately. “Or try to, considering your lack of breasts.”

“Shots fired,” Tenten murmurs to Temari, who nods with a smirk.

“I hate you,” Sakura mutters, mortified. “And no. He doesn’t. Mostly because I don’t actually think he knows what that means.”

“I really, really believe that,” Manako says honestly.

“You have an awful lot to say tonight, Manako—how about you? Truth or dare.”

“Truth,” she replies, sipping from her cup. “I have no shame.”

Sakura raises an eyebrow at that, and then smiles in a good approximation of the older woman’s own merciless smirk. “What is the sappiest, most lovey-dovey, non-sexual thing you and Kakashi have ever done?”

Manako splutters, sake going everywhere as she coughs and tries to breathe.

“Penalty,” she gasps out, glaring at Sakura.

“So much for no shame,” Temari says.

“I dare you to…” Sakura thinks about it and then grins, “I dare you to let Tenten cut and style your hair with just a kunai.”

There’s a chorus of impressed ohs.

Manako glares. “I just got it back to the length I like since the boys were born.”

“Well, you could always just answer the question from before…”

Manako huffs and climbs unapologetically across the table to sit in front of Tenten. “Well, go on.”

“Bold of you to assume I have a kunai,” the other woman says.

“You own a weapons shop and you’re a shinobi. Of course you have a kunai.”

“I was planning on a night of drinking with the girls, not battle.” When everyone gives her unimpressed looks, she pouts and digs a blade out from the hidden pocket of her pants. “I was going to leave it home…”

“Sure you were,” Karui says, earning Manako’s attention.

“You know, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time,” she says, frowning as Tenten begins to consider her back-length tresses.

“Why interrupt good entertainment?”

“Interrupt this—truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

“Take off your underwear and hang it from the light fixture for the rest of the night.”

“Who says I’m wearing underwear?”

“Then your bra. We know you’re wearing one of those, we see the padding.”

“I don’t have padding. All this gloriousness is me,” Karui retorts, cupping her breasts. “And you’re just daring me that because you want to see my tits.”

“Guilty,” Manako agrees.

“Sex and underwear. You’re kind of an unimaginative lot, aren’t you?” Temari wants to know as Karui begins shifting and shimmying her bra out from beneath her sleeveless dress.

“Sex and underwear and impromptu kunai make-overs,” Sakura corrects.

“If I come out of this looking like a porcupine, I’m sending the twins to visit you every day for a month,” Manako vows.

“Oi! Why me? Tenten’s the one cutting your hair!”

“You’re the one who came up with the idea.”

“My turn,” Karui interrupts as she drapes her brassier from the lamp above their table. Across the room, the few patrons still remaining murmur at the scandal. “Temari, truth or dare.”

“Dare,” Temari says.

The former Kumonin takes a few seconds to think about it, and then reaches for her purse to remove a tiny vial.

“This is Killer Wasabi,” she says with a smirk. “The hottest sauce available on the continent.”

“And you just happen to carry it around?” Ino asks.

“It’s not my fault the food in Konoha is so bland.”

“And yet I’ve never seen you refuse any of it.”

“That would be rude,” Karui says, affecting primness before her expression becomes mischievous again. She returns her attention to Temari. “This recipe was created by the first Raikage, and then passed down from teacher to student across the generations. It’s so hot it can make a grown man pass out if consumed in large quantities.” She places the vial on the table. “So that’s what I dare you to do. Take a swig of this straight.”

Temari blinks.

“That’s it?” she deadpans.

“Bii-sensei challenged the Fourth Raikage to take a gulp of it straight from the bottle and the man cried.”

“Shit. He didn’t even cry when he got his arm cut off, I heard,” Manako murmurs.

Temari considers the tiny vial, shrugs, and then upends it into her mouth.

Everyone stares.

“You’re not…you’re not human, are you?” Tenten murmurs.

“Are we sure it’s your brother that was possessed by a demon and not you?” Manako wants to know.

“Not possible,” Karui declares. “That’s just…not possible!”

“I went to the dentist today and can’t feel my tongue,” Temari confesses, earning groans and shouts from the others.

“Cheater!”

“Treachery!”

“You suck.”

“You didn’t ask,” Temari says with a shrug and turns to Tenten. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Temari!”

“I’m just continuing the trend of inappropriate questions,” the former Sunanin shrugs.

“Fess up, Tenten!” Ino cheers, spilling a bit of sake as she chugs it.

“Personally, I wouldn’t trust any dare Temari comes up with,” Karui says.

“Fine,” Tenten hedges. “I was seventeen.”

“Really?” Ino purrs. “Who was it?”

“I’m not telling,” Tenten says primly.

“Was it Neji?”

“Don’t be insensitive!” Sakura hisses, smacking her.

“Ow! Watch it with the hamfists!”

Tenten is quick to change the subject. “Hinata—truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Hinata murmurs warily, as if not sure which is likely to be the worse choice.

“What was the most embarrassing thing you’ve shouted during sex?”

Hinata squeaks, pressing her flushed face into her hands.

“You’re going to give her a nosebleed,” Karui says.

“She could have chosen dare.”

“Do you actually expect her to answer that?”

Hinata mumbles something into her palms.

“What was that?” Ino asks. “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“‘Cauliflower’,” the Hokage’s wife mutters, only a hair louder but still audible.

Her friends all stare at her for a beat, trying to parse what they just heard, and then—

“EEEHHHH?!?”

“Seriously?!” Ino shrieks.

“What the hell, really?” Manako laughs. “What even…?”

“I was pregnant,” Hinata mumbles. “And craving.”

“Apparently,” Temari drawls.

“How did hubby take that?” Manako asks.

“He…he, um, went to buy some.”

“Actually?” Sakura want to know. “Or do you mean he sent a clone?”

“Um. No, he actually…he got all flustered, and confused,” Hinata admits. “And ran off to the market. He came home with about two dozen of them.”

“Cauliflowerus-interruptus,” Manako shakes her head. “I hope it was good cauliflower.”

“It’s cauliflower,” Tenten drawls. “There’s no way that’s better than sex.”

“Hey, food can be better than sex,” Karui protests. “And not only when you’re pregnant.”

“Well now I know what we should ask you next time you choose truth…”

“Except it’s not your turn to ask.”

All eyes go to Hinata.

“Hinata, ask me something so that I can go next,” Manako orders.

“If you go next, I won’t be the one answering,” Karui promises.

“Um…” Hinata bites her lips, and then nods and asks Manako, “Who was your first love?” she asks.

“Izumi Uchiha,” Manako replies without any hesitation or embarrassment.

“What, really?” Ino asks, eyes wide.

“Did I stutter?”

“That’s…that makes sense actually,” Sakura says. “You told me once that you’d loved an Uchiha, but I thought…I mean, you kind of implied…”

“That it was a guy?”

“Pretty much.”

“Contrary to popular belief, not all Uchiha are men,” Manako replies.

“You wouldn’t know it the way the history books are written,” Sakura mutters.

“Temari! Have I got a dare for you—”

“Truth,” the other woman says instantly. “As if I would be stupid enough to choose one of your dares.”

“I’m wounded. But alright, fine. Let me asks you the most important truth I can think of.”

Temari raises an eyebrow, but her face remains as stolid as ever. “Fine.”

But Manako doesn’t speak. Instead, she holds the tips of her index fingers together and then slowly starts to pull them apart.

For a moment no one knows what she is doing, but as the distance grows between the fingers—three inches, four inches—comprehension dawns on everyone.

“Oh my god!” Sakura sputters, before pressing her hand against her mouth to muffle her laughter.

Temari doesn’t answer or change her expression as Manako continues to move her fingers apart—five inches, six inches—and Hinata squeaks, cheeks filled with so much blood she appears about to faint. Seven inches, eight—

“Okay, now I’m actually getting worried for you,” the older woman says.

“You have no idea,” Temari replies, leaning back with her arms crossed and a satisfied smirk on her face.

“I can’t hear this!” Ino wails. “He’s like…ugh, he’s like my brother and you just…that image! I will never get that image out of my head.”

“Shit,” Karui says. “How are you still walking upright, woman?”

Even Tenten looks impressed.

“Okay, we have to get this out of the way right now, so no one else decides to draw it out over a bunch of Truths,” Ino says. “Over and done with. On a scale of one to ten—”

“On a scale of one to Shikamaru,” Manako sniggers.

Ino shoots her a dirty look. “On a scale of one to ten—”

Sakura interrupts. “The average length is about five inches. It’s beyond the norm to have a penis larger than—”

Hinata yelps in protest, and Karui gives her an unimpressed look. “You’ve had two children and copious amounts of sex, and the word ‘penis’ bothers you?”

“It’s…it’s not a very nice word,” the Hokage’s wife mutters, embarrassed.

“It’s not a very nice-looking body part, but it gets the job done.”

“Especially if you’re Temari, apparently,” Tenten chuckles.

“She’s got a point, though. Sometimes I wish I was only into women, so I didn’t have to look at a penis,” Manako says. “It’s one thing to know it’s there—and hey, I benefit greatly from having a partner that has one—but given the choice…” She seesaws her right hand up and down. “Honestly, I could do without.”

“You’d still be with Kakashi even if he didn’t have a dick?” Karui asks, surprised.

“Of course! You don’t know what that mouth is capable of—”

“Does he even have a mouth?” Sakura wonders.

“—and even if that wasn’t the case? Dildos exist for a reason. Whether you have a dick or not,” Manako decides. The raises an eyebrow at Karui. “Are you saying if Chōji was in an accident tomorrow and lost his balls, you’d stop being with him?”

“What? No! And besides, what accident would that be? He barely even goes out on missions anymore.”

“Actually, there are several ways a man can lose—” Sakura begins.

“I wasn’t actually asking,” Karui rolls her eyes.

“I think we’re all getting wildly off-topic here,” Ino interjects. “Now! On a scale of one to—”

“—Shikamaru,” Manako and Tenten say at the same time, grinning irreverently.

“—where do our guys fall?”

“I think that’s an inaccurate rating system,” Sakura protests. “Size can’t be the only factor.”

“Yeah, what about girth?” Manako wants to know. “It’s all well and good if a guy’s eight inches long, but if his dick’s as thin as a pencil, it’s pretty much useless.”

“And what about stamina? It’s not like it moves on its own,” Karui adds.

“Oh! And proper aim! Or, you know, additional use of fingers. Nothing worse than sex with someone who thinks penetration is the only way to get a woman off,” Tenten adds,

“Gods, this is turning into some kind of quadratic equation,” Ino complains.

“It’s not that hard,” Sakura protests. There are several laughs at that, and she rolls her eyes. “Pun not intended. But anyway, let’s say we have four categories—length, girth, stamina and miscellaneous—”

“What about…” Hinata begins, her voice barely above a whisper, and then she adds, “What about the feelings you have for your partner? That…I’m sure that makes a difference.”

The other women consider, and the nod in agreement.

“Alright, so we have five criteria, so if we put those out of ten, average them out and then assign them a value on the spectrum of one to—”

—Shikamaru,” Karui, Manako and Tenten chorus.

“Stop that!” Ino snaps.

“—then it would be more accurate,” Sakura finishes.

“If you’re still able to do math, you’re not drunk enough,” Temari informs Sakura.

“You have no idea what I’m capable of when I’m drunk,” Sakura retorts. “And besides—I don’t get drunk.”

“Oh, so that wasn’t you Sasuke was carting home from dinner last weekend, slung over his shoulder and staring at his ass?” Ino challenges. “Hm, must have been some other pink haired lush with a mutant forehead.”

They glare at each other.

“9/10,” Sakura says at last. “There’s some stuff Sasuke’s a bit shy about or doesn’t bother with, but everything else makes up for it.”

“9/10 for Sai, too,” Ino agrees.

“You’re just saying that to compete with me.”

“Says you! My husband happens to be an excellent lover.”

“Except when he accidentally says something insulting and ruins the mood, I’m guessing,” Sakura says. “He does it in normal conversation, so I’m pretty sure he’s done it during sex too.”

“Stop thinking about my husband having sex!”

“Can’t think about her husband, can’t think about her not-brother…who can we think about having sex?” Manako wants to know and Tenten sniggers.

“Choji’s an 8,” Karui says, interrupting the argument. “But that’s just because he keeps wanting to bring food into bed. And then one or both of us gets distracted.”

“Ugh!” Ino cries. “Stop telling me things I can’t unhear!”

“Shikamaru’s an 8 too,” Temari says, earning surprised glances. “And only because he falls asleep a lot.”

“Oh, Naruto does that too,” Hinata agrees. “They’re both so busy at work.”

“So Naruto’s also an 8?”

“No. He’s a 10.”

“No way Naruto’s a 10,” Sakura insists.

“Yeah, he’s got to have something wrong with him,” Ino agrees. “ I mean…he’s Naruto.”

“10,” Hinata maintains firmly, and whether it’s out of loyalty or reality, everyone senses it’s better not to ask.

“Well, Kakashi’s an easy 10,” Manako says. “But that’s just because he has more experience than any of your men.”

“Whatever, you old crone.”

“Now that we’ve established all of that,” Temari interrupts, “I believe it was my turn to ask…” She trails off, considering her next victim, and then smirks at Hinata. “Truth or Dare?”

“T-truth.”

“Was your wedding night the first time Naruto saw you naked?” Temari wants to know.

The other women burst into laughter.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Hinata groans.

“You could always choose dare.”

“Which would be…?”

Temari considers, and then nods to herself. “Pick someone in this room and lick their cheek.”

“I volunteer,” Manako says immediately.

“You would,” Sakura mutters.

“You’re full of hair,” Ino points out. “She’d probably get a hairball.”

“That’s cats,” Manako sniffs, shaking her head.

“Stop moving if you don’t want me cutting off an ear,” Tenten warns her.

“It wasn’t.”

The words are so quiet, they almost go unnoticed.

Almost.

“It wasn’t?” Temari repeats, staring intently at Hinata.

“You mean you gave it up before you got married?” Ino blurts out. “Wow, Hinata, I never knew you had it in you—”

“No! That wasn’t—we didn’t—Temari asked about the first time he saw me naked, not when we slept together,” Hinata complains, normally pale skin darkened by a blush and her pale eyes flashing with a hint of temper. “And that night wasn’t the first time. We were out on a mission once when we were chunin and I was meditating by the river and I didn’t have clothes on.”

“And he barged right in?” Sakura supplies. “Pervert.”

“He didn’t know I was there,” Hinata protests.

“Sure he didn’t…”

Hinata folds her arms and frowns. “Ino, truth or dare.”

“Oi! I make one comment and now you’re going to pick on me?”

Hinata raises an eyebrow.

“Truth,” Ino says, not quite trusting the usually innocent Hinata; it’s always the quiet ones that are the most dangerous, after all.

The Hokage’s wife ponders, and then a truly uncanny smile appears on her face, one that would look more at home on Naruto than her. “I heard somewhere that you perfected the Yamanaka technique of switching souls within bodies. So have you ever—I mean, on purpose—switched with Sai…you know…during?”

Ino’s jaw drops.

As does everyone else’s.

Sakura is the first to speak. “Well, I never would have saw that one coming.”

She almost sounds impressed.

“You have a dirty, dirty mind,” Manako says. “Good for you.”

“I think you broke Ino,” Temari points out, and everyone glances at the other blond woman who looks as if her brain has short-circuited.

“I think that’s a yes,” Sakura says, eyes gleaming with mischief. “She only over looks like that when she’s been caught out.”

“No way,” Karui says in awe. “So you’ve actually—?”

Ino snaps out of. “You’re all being ridiculous.”

“That’s not a no.”

“Stop it!”

“That’s a yes!”

“No it’s not!”

“So you actually know what it’s like to have sex as a guy?” Manako wants to know. “This I have to hear.”

“No, I don’t—stop putting words in my mouth! Truth! I choose a penalty truth!”

“Well-played,” Temari informs Hinata, who smiles sheepishly, before asking Ino, “If you could sleep with any of the Kage, past or present, who would you choose?”

“Nice one,” Sakura approves.

Ino thinks about it, and then says, “Kurutsuchi.”

Everyone gasps at that.

“Seriously?” Manako asks.

“Did I stutter?” Ino shoots back, echoing her words back.

“I thought you were completely straight,” Tenten says, surprised.

“I am. But given the fact that everyone else is or was either ugly, old, creepy or evil, I stand by my choice. Especially since Hinata said sleep and didn’t necessarily say have sex with.”

“Boo,” Sakura accuses. “You’re not supposed to logic your way out of an embarrassing truth. In fact, you’re not supposed to be sober enough to logic your way out of an embarrassing truth.”

“I’m just that good,” Ino sniffs.

“In your own mind, maybe…”

“Shut up. No, wait. Don’t shut up. Truth or dare?”

“Didn’t you already ask her?” Karui wants to know.

“Shh! It’s bound to be a good one,” Manako interrupts her. By now, her hair has been chopped off into an uneven, bristly pixie cut, and Tenten is grumbling as she pushes long locks of hair off of herself.

“I hope the manager of this place doesn’t mind cleaning this up,” she mutters to herself. “Maybe I can give him a discount at my store or something…”

“Okay, okay, I’ve got one, I’ve got one,” Ino interrupts, waving her hands to make everyone else shut up. “Okay—Sakura. Imagine you get Sasuke to agree to have a threesome with you and another guy—"

“Tch! Sure, in a parallel universe,” Sakura snorts, and then pauses, blinking. “On second thought, having met the Sasuke from a parallel universe, I think he might actually be into that sort of thing.”

“Wow,” Temari says with a blink. “I don’t know whether that’s hot or disturbing.”

“Hot,” Tenten decides.

“Disturbing,” Karui says at the same time.

“Both?” Hinata suggests tentatively.

“Both,” Manako says with a definitive note in her voice.

“All of you shut up, I haven’t finished my question!” Ino snaps, and the other women glance back at her. She renews her grin at Sakura. “So—say you get Sasuke to agree to a threesome with another guy, but it has to be a guy from your genin squad—”

“Ino!”

“—who would it be?”

“That’s not fair!” Sakura protests. “Three of them are married—”

“Kakashi and I aren’t married, we’re living in sin,” Manako interjects.

“—to people sitting in this room!”

“Well, fine, if you’re going to whine about it—for the purposes of this truth we can include members of your chūnin squad, too.”

“That’s no different!”

“If you don’t tell the truth, you have to do the dare,” Ino sing-songs.

Cheeks burning and expression mutinous, Sakura spends a few seconds considering the lesser of two evils, and then sighs. “Fine. Kakashi.”

There’s a burst of uproarious laughter and squealing.

“No way!” Ino protests. “He’s so old!”

“He’s not old, he’s experienced,” Manako corrects with would-be-haughtiness. “And a girl could do worse.”

“It has nothing to do with that!” Sakura cries and goes, if possible, even more red. “It’s the choice that makes the most sense! If it were Naruto, he and Sasuke would forget all about me and start some ridiculous competition—probably measuring their dicks or something—”

Everyone laughs, and even red-faced and perpetually embarrassed Hinata cocks her head to one side as if to say, ‘fair point’.

“—and that would end in a fist-fight. Then there’s Sai, who would have a comment for everything, and Sasuke would take it as criticism, and that would end in a fistfight,” she goes on, ticking options off her fingers while Temari snorts and takes another sip of sake.

“—and Yamato-taichou would be so unbelievable uncomfortable he would pass out—”

“Also, didn’t Sasuke stab him once?” Temari wants to know.

“—yeah, exactly! I doubt he’d want to get it on with the guy who stabbed him.”

“I don’t know if that would make a difference. Sasuke’s stabbed Naruto half a dozen times, and Naruto would probably still be down to fu—”

“Manako, if you finish that sentence, I will slip cocoa into your food and watch you asphyxiate to death in front of me,” Sakura vows, glancing over Hinata with the urge to press her hands over the other woman’s ears.

“Doesn’t setting off a severe enough allergic reaction that is causes anaphylactic shock violate the Medic-Nin’s Oath?” Manako challenges, and then makes a face. “Huh. Say that ten times fast.”

“There are loopholes,” Sakura replies primly.

“Sure there are…”

“Why are we focusing on Sakura becoming a murderer, and not on the fact that she wants to bone her former jōnin instructor?” Karui wants to know.

“I never said I wanted to bone him! It was Truth or Dare question!”

“Hmph. I personally would have gone with the Dare…”

“I don’t know,” Ino muses slowly. “I guess it could be interesting. I mean, he does read those books all the time.” She shoots Manako a questioning look. “Or does that not carry over?”

The older woman grins wolfishly. “Oh, it does. It really, really does.”

“La-la-la, I can’t hear you,” Sakura sings. Forget putting her hands over Hinata’s ears, she’s clapped them so hard to her head that she feels a bit of suction between palm and ear.

A sudden explosion rips through the air, sending a shockwave through the entire restaurant; it’s strong enough to knock Karui’s brassier from the lamp fixture. Outside, violent purple and fiery orange light up the night, behind the ruins of the Hokage tower.

“I guess that’s our cue,” Sakura sighs, getting up.

“Husband wrangling time,” Ino agrees.

“Who’s getting the bill?” Karui wants to know.

Everyone exchanges glances, and quickly stick their forefingers on their nose, except for Manako, who’s investigating her shorn hair. Noticing them all, she groans.

“Oh, that’s nice. Pick on the girl without super ninja reflexes.”

終わり

________________________________________________________________

So, there you go. It’s complete and utter crack, and totally just written for the sake of dialogue more than anything else. And all the sex info you never knew you wanted to know :P

Hope you guys had a bit of a laugh!

(Also, it occurs to me that Manako is the Naruto’verse equivalent of Captain Jack Harkness…)

I want to know what you think of my story! Leave kudos, a comment or if writing comments isn’t something you’re comfortable with, as many of these (or other emojis) as you want and let me know how you feel!

❤️️ = I love this story! 😳 = this was hot! 💐 = thank you for sharing this 🍵 = tea spilled 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy! 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good! 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER 😢 = you got me right in the feels 🤯mind blown 🤬god damn cliffhanger 😫 whyyyyyyy?!?!?

栗

#naruto fanfiction #kunoichi #sakura uchiha #ino yamanaka #hinata uzumaki #karui akimichi #temari nara #manako inuzuka #humor #sex humor #sex positive #there is no such thing as privacy #sexy wives of konoha #crack #like seriously #total crack #poor judgement 'verse

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Crashes the Chunin Exams in Episodes 64-70!

Come and come all to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Nicole Mejias, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 57-63, and we continue this week with episodes 64-70.

So the Chunin exam finally comes to a close in an explosive way, as Sasuke and Gaara face off! This was quite the rollercoaster batch of episodes, with the debut of Sasuke's Chidori attack, the hints about Sasuke's true abilities to power up, Gaara's real strength, and then... the exam ends with the attack of Sand on Leaf. It seems like Orochimaru felt Gaara going out of control was the perfect time to hatch his plan, and now everything is in chaos. As we finish up for this batch, we start getting some truly confusing resurrection powers utilized to give us 2 on 1 Hokage fighting action! Seems like things are only going to heat up after this week's batch!

Alright, let's get the ball rolling and on to what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes!

This week's episode sees the Chunin exam come to a somewhat unsatisfying ending as the true plan of the Sand Village unfolds. I remember my first time around that I wanted to see the exam actually complete, but how do you all feel about this sudden interruption?

Joseph: I didn’t mind it at all, it made the story less predictable and kept the pace up rather than transitioning into your usual post-tournament downtime. I really enjoyed the tournament but I can’t say I care who would have won.

Carolyn: I have to agree, I thought it was nice to see a bigger world/threat/issue than just the controlled, one-on-one fights.

Danni: I love a good tournament arc, so it’s a bit of a shame this one only lasted a few matches. That being said, the new developments are pretty cool. I’m looking forward to where it goes from here if a war does indeed break out.

Kevin: It makes for a bit more dramatic turn, since on first viewing it seems like we’re about to go into another short tournament to finish the arc, but then a war starts. In terms of personal feelings, I could go either way. I appreciate the story not following the exact beats that the audience expects, but I also like tournaments, so wanted to see how the fights progressed.

David: Stopping powerlevel defining tournaments early isn’t exactly new—looking at you, Saint Seiya—but in this case the seeds for the attack have been sown as early as the forest arc, so it’s hard to complain. If anything it would be disappointing if nothing had come of that.

Paul: I welcome the swerve. Sure, in part it feels like Kishimoto got bored with the whole tournament fighting arc, but I love the idea that there's a huge, precarious world out there filled with fragile alliances and ninja skullduggery of which the main characters, in their youthful innocence, are only experiencing a tiny taste.

Kara: I don’t think I’d call this ending unsatisfying, really. I mean, everyone got slapped in the face before the Round 3 preliminaries with the fact that the exams are largely politically motivated, and we’ve known the Sand Village was up to something the whole time. I feel like finishing everything out by the book and handing out Chunin diplomas or whatever would be more disappointing after all that setup.

Noelle: Tournament arcs are such a staple that they almost feel expected for the genre—so anything that tosses it up is something that I’d welcome. 1v1 fights are fun, but after a while, I think I’d lose the patience to sit through the whole thing.

Jared: I think this was fine the tournament during the opening round. It’s certainly something that doesn’t blindside you as it’s abundantly clear something’s going to happen, but it’s a neat way to play with your expectations.

Sasuke is back the spotlight this week during his face off against Gaara, and wow, it’s definitely quite the impressive fight! What are your thoughts on Sasuke vs Gaara after all the build up for Gaara and Naruto?

Joseph: I love how unhinged Gaara is, especially after we learned more about him during his backstory last week. It’s kind of dull that Gaara essentially turtles on defense the entire time, but I like the moment where it hints once again at his monstrous transformation. Even though I said I didn’t need to see the tournament fully play out, I would have liked to have seen where this fight went if it were allowed to continue.

Carolyn: I just felt so bad for Rock Lee the whole time. Those were his moves! But Gaara freaking out and losing his mind over a little blood is part of why I liked him so much on first watch. He’s almost uncomfortably weird.

Danni: I dunno, I thought it was pretty underwhelming. It seemed more like a teaser for an approaching REAL battle between them than anything.

Kevin: Sasuke versus Gaara is one of the fights that I remember most from when I watched the show as a kid. Sasuke pulling out new techniques, showing how much more powerful he’s become, all of it stuck in my head. Watching it again… it’s not as good as I thought. They renamed Raikiri to Chidori for no real reason, and Sasuke managed to reach Lee levels of Taijutsu in a month (and also offscreen), when Lee himself is supposed to be a genius at martial arts, and it took him years to get that far.

Nate: They actually get into this—the Raikiri (Lightning Blade) is Kakashi's version of the original technique, Chidori (Thousand Birds).

David: As others mentioned, this is the first real example of classic shonen action powercreep; Gai and Kakashi point out in no uncertain terms that Sasuke has matched Rock Lee’s physical prowess within a month, and Rock himself even admits this. There’s also only one good bit of animation before the whole thing goes wrong. Overall it’s important but kind of disappointing even if you’re a Sasuke fan.

Paul: I don't currently have any opinions on Sasuke vs. Gaara, since that fight it still on-going, but I do wonder where exactly the story is going with that bit about Gaara momentarily transforming into the Tetsuo-blob from the end of Akira.

Kara: This was my semi-regular reminder that Gaara is a walking horror movie. Gotta agree with Carolyn, I feel sorry for Rock Lee watching Sasuke out there using his moves. Nothing against ludicrous power-ups. Just Sasuke taking a level in awesome, while awesome, feels kind of sour when viewed through the lens of Lee’s story. I’m starting to understand why Naruto is so cranky about Sasuke in his periphery constantly.

Noelle: Sasuke was always going to get his power-up, that was inevitable, but it feels kind of… eh. Probably because we didn’t really see Sasuke work to get these power-ups much, so it doesn’t really feel earned that he’d suddenly become more powerful, especially enough to copy Lee. Sure, Sasuke’s the co-protagonist of the series, but it doesn’t feel as much of a thrilling fight from his end. Gaara is now full-blown horror and I love it.

Jared: It was kind of weird since they build this up to be Sasuke being the returning hero to vanquish Gaara, but since he’s been out of the picture since his fightin the prelims, the real build had been more Naruto/Gaara. Probably doesn’t help that there’s no real conclusion here. Sasuke certainly gets his moments of showing he’s truly back and more formidable than ever and Gaara looks even more unhinged, but it certainly didn’t have the same feel that a Naruto/Gaara match would have had.

This is the first time we see the Chidori in action, showing off how much Sasuke really does seem to be ahead of Naruto in terms of skill. How’d you all feel seeing this signature attack for the first time?

Joseph: They do a good job of making it clear how powerful Sasuke has come in such a short period of time. I dig that they made it seem as if he spent the whole time mastering genjutsu before busting out his awesome new move.

Carolyn: Agreed. It gives some justification for his almost rockstar status amongst his classmates. But also goes to show that hard work and determination are key factors.

Danni: It was cool seeing a physical manifestation of chakra just obliterating anything near it, but it still bums me out that Naruto doesn’t get to be the protagonist of his own show.

Kevin: Sasuke running down the wall, ball of lightning in hand, is one of the most iconic moments in anime for me. It stuck in my imagination for years after seeing it for the first time. My only issue with it is that Guy and Kakashi try to explain away the name change, and it doesn’t really make sense why the technique has two names.

Paul: Having never watched Naruto before, and having only ever absorbed bits and pieces of it through cultural osmosis over the years, I'm ashamed to admit that when I kept hearing people say “Chidori”, I assumed that it was the name of a kunoichi. I think the technique is cooler when Kakashi uses it, personally.

Kara: Despite my aforementioned feeling for Lee, I gotta admit the Chidori looked pretty rad. And yeah, I kind of thought Chidori was a person and not a move, but I’m looking forward to seeing it used later.

Noelle: There’s no questioning it, Chidori looks awesome!

Jared: It makes sense he would inherit a devastating attack like that, plus it’s a cool looking attack to boot.

This segment of the show really gets to let Shikamaru shine a bit, with him fighting Temari and also fighting the faceless Sound Ninja. Shikamaru was always a favorite of mine, and I know some of you like him too, so how do you feel after seeing him get some serious action?

Joseph: I love Shikamaru’s attitude, and I appreciate how differently his fight ends up playing out compared to the rest of the tournament. With that in mind, his real highlight is episode 70 in the classic trope of staying behind to give your teammates a chance to escape. The resolution of that scene is fantastic.

Carolyn: I love him! He’s basically a genius mastermind who hates that he’s so capable and it’s great. I agree that his stepping up in the actual battle is where he really shines this time around. My favorite bit would actually have to be his very, very detailed plans for how he expects the rest of his life/future to turn out. The boy has brains and strategy, to say the least.

Danni: He has such a bad attitude, and I love it. It was great finally seeing him thinking five steps ahead of everyone else around him. I hope he eventually figures out some kind of finisher for when he has someone trapped in shadow paralysis.

Kevin: Seeing Shikamaru actually fight is a bit odd. I love seeing him in action, but he is most at home as a tactician. In his first fight, he gave up because he was running low on chakra, and in the second fight he needed his teacher to save him because he ran out of chakra. He is a brilliant strategist, but don’t force him to actually fight people himself.

David: Honestly, I don’t think the show does a great job of convincing me of Shikamaru’s character. We don’t know a whole lot about him before this, which is fine, but then he ‘defeats’ Temari mostly because she forgets a tunnel can also have a shadow in it. Then later Sakura is impressed when he stays behind to stall the enemies because he has never been “this reliable of a character before” as she puts it, but most of what we’ve seen from him has been a subverting of that so far, which doesn’t work when I wasn’t convinced of the original concept in the first place. So overall I’m less impressed than I remember being before.

Paul: I like the cerebral aspects to Shikamaru's fighting style, but I could do without the low-grade sexism of him complaining about how he keeps getting matched up against girls. The women in this universe are clearly as dangerous as the men, and a shuriken will kill you just as dead regardless of the gender of the person who throws it. Get over yourself, Cloud Boy.

Kara: It’s funny because Shikamaru annoyed me so much early on for being Captain Haaa Mendokusaaaai. Not that that’s not a mood. I do appreciate that the show played me (and Shikamaru’s classmates) for a fool with that, though. It never occurred to me that he might consider things boring because he’s already five steps ahead of everyone else. As much as I appreciate his tactics, I do kind of hope he gets his ass handed to him by a kunoichi before long.

Noelle: I really think that Shikamaru’s real time to shine comes later, but here we get a fairly good idea what he’s about. He’s smart, his fighting style is unconventional and that makes him rely more on tactics as opposed to brute strength. That being said, even though he’s up against Temari who is more along the lines of overpowering her opponents, this fight isn’t that bad.

Jared: I was kind of surprised just how much they put him over in these episodes. He certainly has a different style and attitude which is a refreshing change from everyone being rather serious about what they do. Although if he really wants to commit to the tranquilo lifestyle, he needs to be more cool and collected than just bored.

I remember my first time around not really understanding the resurrection jutsu in this show, and I won’t spoil things but it comes up again later. If it’s so easy to bring people back from the dead, why don’t people do it more often? Both the First and Second Hokage seem totally fine until Orochimaru controls them. What are your thoughts on this life and death power that we see here for the first time?

Joseph: I don’t recall how it’s used later in the series, but regardless of what it hints at this is just a cool way to heighten Orochimaru’s showdown against the Third Hokage and make him seem even nastier as a villain.

Carolyn: I don’t remember a lot in advance either, it’s been so long since I last watched the show. That’s why this is so much fun!

Danni: I...don’t really get it. I expected them to be zombies, but they seem totally unaffected. How are they supposed to be a threat when they’re friends with the guy they were summoned to defeat?

Kevin: I’m pretty sure that it’s not used more often because it’s a Forbidden Jutsu, like the Mass Shadow Clone jutsu, it’s just probably forbidden due to ethical issues. Seeing Resurrection for the first time, it doesn’t have as much impact as I would’ve expected. If Orochimaru brought back Zabuza, the audience would have a much stronger personal connection and we could measure a previous antagonist’s power against the Third Hokage’s. Instead, he summoned the First and Second Hokage, who are definitely better choices for Resurrection targets, but there are two problems. First, the audience has no idea who they are initially, so we aren’t as invested in the fight. Second, how did Orochimaru get their bodies? Shouldn’t they be under the tightest security the village can muster?

David: It’s currently confusing and weird and as far as I remember it only gets more confusing and weird.

Paul: I'm still of the opinion that Summoning style Ninjutsu techniques (and by extension, Resurrection techniques) don't actually summon a real, individual person or animal. Instead, I think they involve Chakra taking physical form, and that the resulting manifestation is shaped by the will of the summoner. I don't think that's literally Zombie Hokage 1 and Zombie Hokage 2 we see in Episode 70, but rather it's the idea of these Hokage colored and called into being by Orochimaru's memories, biases, and desires.

Kara: I have so many questions about the resurrection jutsu, mainly regarding the summoned people’s loyalties and the entire ethics of it. Granted, ethics in the world of Naruto are pretty screwy already. But the can of worms the show has opened up just by saying this can be done is big and squirmy and terrible. I hope they go into it more.

Noelle: Not going to lie, still kind of iffy on the Resurrection thing. Half zombies, half mind control, I suppose? I do think that revival is by no means easy, but Orochimaru lives for breaking out taboo jutsu anyway.

Jared: Gonna agree with some of the others and say it’s kind of confusing what’s actually happening. My thoughts were that they were able to come back but couldn’t disobey orders from Orochimaru? Whether it’s actually them or not, I’m not sure and I’d assume this isn’t done more often is because it’s a high level technique or forbidden.

And as always, what were the high and low points of this week’s batch of episodes?

Joseph: Low point: gosh, I actually really liked this section of episodes through and through. I guess, while I didn’t mind the tournament itself ending, the low point was cutting the fight between Gaara and Sasuke short. The high point was Pakkun and his SOFT AND SUPPLE PAWS.

Carolyn: High point is definitely Shikamaru taking charge and running through his already planned out future in his head. I don’t think I had a definite low point this week, but I laughed a lot at Sasuke’s James Bond-like introduction of himself at the exam. Does that count?

Danni: Can’t really think of any standout low points. I think the high point for me was finally getting to see the Third Hokage in action.

Kevin: High - Shikamaru’s thinking stance. Seeing him just take a moment to clear his mind, think of a plan, then start acting actually impacted my so much as a kid that it is seriously something I still do. Clasp my hands together in some kind of fake hand sign to focus my thinking to break out of my current mentality. Low - As simple as the moment is, my lowest point was when Kabuto knocked out Kiba. Sure, Kiba’s out, but Akamaru should still be conscious and making a ton of noise that would alert at least the crowd, meaning that Kabuto wouldn’t be able to cast the genjutsu that starts the war.

David: High point despite everything is Sasuke just bodying Gaara. Extremely satisfying and smooth to watch. Low point is Rock realizing how underpowered he is in the face of Sasuke, not necessarily because of the power level issues there, but just because no one is there to comfort him for it all.

Paul: Although I bagged on him earlier, my high point was Shikamaru pretending to be put to sleep by the hypnosis Genjutsu in order to avoid getting dragged into the bigger conflict, because he's just that much of a lazy ass at heart. My low point was probably the English translations for some of the episode titles. “Hit it or Quit it” and “Late to the Show, but Ready to Go” in particular rub me the wrong way, bruh.

Kara: High point is the existence of Pakkun. I love this good boy and his squishy paw pads. Low point is, again, having to watch Rock Lee watch Sasuke. Which is less a “the show did bad” low point like previous weeks, and more an “I feel sad about this” low point.

Noelle: High point, Sasuke vs Gaara, especially with Gaara freaking out over finally bleeding again. Low point, Rock Lee feeling bad because Sasuke powercreeped him, give Lee a break.

Jared: I really liked the Third Hokage taking off his hat to reveal an even cooler hat. Low point was my boy Rock Lee getting real sad about being overtaken by Sasuke.

How about a little bonus question? Since the Chunin exam ends and is more or less never referenced again, who do you think would have won had it gone to an actual conclusion?

Joseph: Knowing this show, probably Sasuke. Then they’d do the whole thing again later Dragon Ball style so Naruto could win.

Carolyn: It seems almost impossible, from a writing standpoint, that Gaara could win, though he’s so powerful that seems to be the logical choice. It’s too soon for Naruto to take it. So, I think Sasuke is the only real option, here.

Danni: No one. The proctor would try to stop Gaara from killing Sasuke, leading Gaara to kill everyone there rendering the entire exam null.

Kevin: I can’t imagine Shino defeating Temari, since she can blow any flying insects away and can fly to get away from any remaining ground insects, so she would advance to the finals. I could see Sasuke versus Gaara going either way (provided he don’t allow stuff Garaa reveals in the next set or two of episodes), but Naruto wouldn’t be a match for either of them, so whoever won that fight would advance. If Temari fought Gaara, she’d probably forfeit before the match even started. If she fought Sasuke, he could probably overwhelm her with speed alone. So unless shounen tropes intervened in the tournament to give Naruto a way to the finals, I suspect that either Sasuke or Gaara would win, depending on who won in the first round.

David: If Gaara’s powers had been allowed to completely come out—in other words, the tournament not interrupted—then Gaara would have completely obliterated Sasuke. Squashed him. He would be dust. Gaara would not only win but Sasuke would be dead.

Paul: Definitely Sasuke. Not only is he a prodigy, he's also got that whole legacy thing going for him as the last-remaining (non-evil) scion of the Uchiha clan. Whether he actually deserves to win it is another matter...

Kara: If things actually went as power levels and fighting styles seem to dictate they would, Gaara, nearly to the death. Considering how Naruto goes, Sasuke with one last-ditch, low-powered jutsu he learned in the first season.

Noelle: At this point in time, it would probably be either Sasuke or Gaara. Provided that Gaara doesn’t go berserk of course, Gaara would probably outmatch Sasuke. If Sasuke activates the power of plot armor, he’d likely make it to the top. Sorry, Naruto.

Jared: Probably the winner of Sasuke/Gaara, although with how everyone was incredibly drained after their first matches, I wonder if by the finals it’d just become a stamina battle and technique wouldn’t be as much of a factor.

COUNTERS: "I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 23 Bowls of ramen consumed: 29 bowls, 3 cups Shadow Clones created: 258

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!

Here's our upcoming schedule:

- Next week, on MARCH 29th, DANIEL DOCKERY returns as the Third Hokage springs into action in EPISODES 71-77! - Then, on APRIL 5TH, CAYLA COATS stops by just in time to introduce us to a mysterious new shinobi in EPISODES 78-84! - And on APRIL 12th, NOELLE OGAWA elaborates further in the antics of the mysterious shinobi in EPISODES 85-91!

Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

Have any thoughts on our thoughts on Episodes 64-70? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!

----

Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk · 6 years

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Top Ten Favourite Female Seiyuu

My first one didn’t do a whole lot of justice, so I decided to have another go at it! Here we go! Time to edit this up!

I notice that I didn’t include as many female seiyuu in my honourable mentions, but that’s because I had an easier time choosing here! I kind of knew what voices I liked from the beginning. I also don’t like the really high pitched annoying characters sometimes (with exceptions), so that was taken into consideration.

Some honourable mentions that I didn’t get the chance to mention were: Yuu Kobayashi, Ami Koshimizu, Chiwa Saito, Marina Inoue, Mai Nakahara, and Mamiko Noto. I love their voices and their roles, but I haven’t watched a whole lot of them either in anime or singing. I also seem to remember seiyuu more from their characters, and it’s a real shame that there aren’t as many female anime characters that are as well developed as their male counterparts which is why I don’t remember their characters as often. But most of it is just because I haven’t watched their major work yet.

Honourable Mentions:

Sakura Ayane

I just wanted to give a shout out to her because her performance of Uraraka is amazing, and she really nails her positive personality. She plays a range of other characters (sadly I haven’t watched most of them). I’ve been impressed by her other characters as well. Niwatori in Juuni Taisen has such an innocent personality at first, and even though it wasn’t a very good anime, she gave this character a lot of life despite being a character with only one episode of development. Haru in Nisekoi was the annoying little sister nobody wanted, but I’m proud of the fact that she makes me hate some characters that she plays because I think that’s the point most of the time. Suzuka from Tokyo Ravens is another example of this. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have range though. Her role as Ryouko in Tsurezure Children surprised me. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh6QDBvTn34 Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpV6YFq6SrU Bonus: https://youtu.be/DRUzKPD68W0

Aoi Yuuki

Range. Just range. I can’t tell it’s her ever. Just never. I originally knew her for voicing Tsuyu from My Hero Academia, but after searching her up, I realized her range. Even though I didn’t watch most of the anime she has done, just clips of it can give you the biggest shock of a lifetime. I didn’t realize she was Kayo from Erased, Madoka from Madoka Magica, Tatsumaki from One Punch Man, Diane from The Seven Deadly Sins, and Lulu in League of Legends. She apparently also games. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7pnmeV3MD0 Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1C4bmNIWyA

Aya Hirano

(I couldn’t find a gif of her, but have a Haruhi)

Okay, so maybe she has fallen off the grid for a bit, but the reason for some people now hating her is really stupid. I won’t get into it, but people are allowed to have lives outside of their work. Who would’ve known? Besides that, she is a talented singer who I know for voicing Lucy from Fairy Tail and Haruhi from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. She is also known for her role as Konata in Lucky Star and Misa in Death Note. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcDIA_VDyXA Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWB01IuMvzA (wow this song is catchy)

NOW FOR THE LIST!

10. Maaya Uchida

This is slightly bias because she did just such a good job playing Hiyori. I love her voice and can’t imagine anyone else playing one of my favourite characters. With that being said, I think the best role I’ve seen from her, but she has done a ton of other roles too. Takanashi Rikka from Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! is another role that stands out to me. She truly makes me want to believe alongside her with her “eighth-grade syndrome”. Alluka from Hunter x Hunter is a role I didn’t expect, but I thought for the few clips I watched it was amazing and bone-chilling. I haven’t watched Rea from Sankarea, Yusa from Charlotte, and a bunch of other roles. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkGPh-BIoHo Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYSz35K8LaM

9. Mizuki Nana

Wow. I have a hard time recognizing her too, but maybe that’s because of her incredible range. On top of being a singer, she’s a tremendously talented voice actor. I know her as the soft-toned Hinata, but she has so many other roles. I haven’t watched a lot of her more prominent roles, but I have watched her as Hakuei Ren in Magi, Lan Fan in Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and Kisaki in WWW.Working! She has several other roles that I haven’t watched. The reason she has been placed this high on this list is that of the range I’ve seen in her performance and that craziness of her voice. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZpcbDTZhbw Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBO64zFAF1Q

8. Romi Park

(I couldn’t find a gif)

Yes. Her range is amazing. Edward Elric was given a voice by her. She is relatable, and she’s bilingual (and possibly trilingual) too! She speaks Korean and she has studied English! I haven’t watched a lot of shows with her in it (or at least completely), but here are a few roles that you might know her from. Ganta from Deadman Wonderland, Toshirou from Bleach, Temari from Naruto, Akane from Danganronpa, Switzerland from Hetalia, Angelina from Black Butler, Hange from Attack on Titan, and so many other roles! She’s really good at singing too! She’s so talented! Side note: She often represents Arakawa Hiromu (the mangaka of Fullmetal Alchemist), and I didn’t notice until now. Wow. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgmvx1yfr4Q Singing: (in English apparently) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgmvx1yfr4Q (Japanese) https://youtu.be/cWbMom6MDCE

7. Tomatsu Haruka

Weirdly, sometimes I have a hard time recognizing her voice. She has voiced such a large range of characters. She was one of the characters who gave me feels in Anohana where she played Anaru. I had so much fun watching a clip of Gintama’s genderbend where she played a female Gintoki. She was an independent protagonist in a shoujo as Shizuku in Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun and the Miyakoshi horrible cook who kills in WWW.Working. Other people might know her as Asuna from SAO, Megumi from Accel World, Shiro from Tokyo Ghoul, Ichika from Waiting in Summer, Rena in ReLife, Megumi from Shiki, and now you might know her as Zero Two in Darling in Franxx. But my favourite role from her is definitely Morgiana from Magi. She was such a badass, and I loved every minute with her on screen. She has so many other roles, and she sings really well too. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQOmY_gFQrE Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwEofctFN3E

6. Kana Hanazawa

She has done so many characters and is really popular. I love a lot of her roles, but this list is full of only the best of the best, so number 6 isn’t that bad! I love a good number of the characters she does too. She made me absolutely despise her in Akame Ga Kill as Seryuu. She was great as Shiemi from Blue Exorcist and broke my heart a little as Kanade from Angel Beats. I loved her little side roles as Lucy from Bungou Stray Dogs and as Kougyoku Ren from Magi. Sonohara from Durarara, Natsume from Tokyo Ravens, Chiaki from Danganronpa, and Onodera from Nisekoi are just a few other roles I’ve watched from her. I hope to watch Psychopass, the Monogatari series, Orange, Sakurada Reset, and Steins;Gate. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDC6SpI3xA0 Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-caezFDfTs

5. Sora Amamiya

She voices so many cool characters! Her portrayal of Akame was awesome. I was in it since then. But like all these other actors: range. I mean, Aqua from Konosuba is a character I despise, but she plays her brilliantly and makes me hate her so much. Other characters I’ve watched her play are Elise from Bungou Stray Dogs, Natsuki in Anthem of the Heart, Elizabeth in The Seven Deadly Sins, Touka in Tokyo Ghoul, and Shiho in WWW.Working. She has a lot of other roles too! Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaQsOj9RUOY Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9IN61D92OY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb85LQHEdqU Bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQR5UM9VeyE

4. Saori Hayami

She’s so cool. I’ve seen her play Chiriko from Anohana, Himawari from Boruto, Sharyuu from Juuni Taisen, and Emi from Your Lie In April. One of her most outstanding role for me was Shirayuki. I wouldn’t have it any other way because she gives her such a feeling of elegance, humility, and innocence. But one of the best roles I’ve seen from her is as Shouko from A Silent Voice. That movie shocked me and left me absolutely stunned. Her portrayal was timeless, moving, and amazing. I was hit in the feels, and her performance along with Miyu Irino will probably stay with me forever. She sings some good OPs, but she can also scream at the top of her lungs and play some insane characters. Just look at Kakegurui. I have only seen a couple of scenes from that anime, but there are so many other roles that I want to see from her! Serebryakova, Viktoriya Ivanovna from Youjo Senki, Urara from Yamada, Yukino from SNAFU, Yutsugi from the Monogatari series, Minami from Tokyo Ghoul (Jack), Shinoa from Owari no Seraph, Saki from Higashi no Eden, and several other roles! Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhBvZWG8oRQ Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_9PWDkqbcs

3. Rie Kugimiya

Okay wow. She’s amazing. Alphonse Elric has such a childish and innocent personality that was aided by her voice. She gave Taiga the perfect tsundere voice. She gives Kagura life and energy with her high-pitched voice. Those are my top three roles from her. Nobody else would ever be able to top those. Nora from Noragami is a character that I love to hate. I really want to watch her as Shana in Shakugan no Shana and as Juuzo from Tokyo Ghoul, and even though she doesn’t have as many roles that I want to catch up on, she plays three anime characters that I love. Her voice is the only one I hear when I see those three characters, and I would love to see her in other works as well. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL6wgRNtkcc Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayJdEzhqQ0I

2. Maaya Sakamoto

Holy moly her singing voice is really good. Her relationship with Kenichi Suzumura is so sweet, and I wouldn’t have found out about him if it wasn’t for her. She can play little girls, boys, and wonderfully beautiful well-developed androgynous characters. Her role in Kara no Kyoukai as Shiki sends chills down my spine. It almost distracted from the fact that I had no clue about the timeline. She portrayed the craziest Crona in Soul Eater was absolutely insane. Scherezade from Magi was another role I’ve seen from her. Nino from Arakawa Under the Bridge was so quirky and wonderful, and I loved her weirdness. Haruhi was another role from her that I absolutely loved. She was calm, talented, and played a nice protagonist that I liked compared to the rest of the main cast. But I have so much catching up to do on her other roles because she has so many! Motoko from Ghost in a Shell, Falangies from Arslan Senki, Shinobu in the Monogatari series, Ciel in Black Butler, Merlin in the Seven Deadly Sins, and Eto and Sen from Tokyo Ghoul. She is such a badass because she plays a lot of cool characters. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coN0PuJrp_o Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j74CRP-QCA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SL_Hd4ItPw

1. Miyuki Sawashiro

She is honestly such a nice person. I watched a segment with her and her brother. She sounds like an awesome older sister. She plays so many badass women. Bishamon is honestly such a caring badass goddess who takes in people because she wants to care for them. She is a respectable goddess who is one of my favourite Noragami characters. Celty is a mysterious biker who is also a badass. Even though she barely speaks literally in Durarara, Miyuki reads her texts perfectly. The quest to find what she has been missing is one of my favourite sides of the story. Seo from Gekkan Shoujo is an inspiration who I love to this day. She’s one of my favourite characters, and I always rewatch her scenes. I have also seen her as Kusaribe in Zetsuen no Tempest (which I didn’t really like), Isasawa in Angel Beats, Touko in Danganronpa, Ul and Ultear in Fairy Tail, and Ayane in Kimi ni Todoke. I want to watch a lot more anime with her in the future including Shion in Psychopass, Sugura in the Monogatari series, Toto Sakigami in Deadman Wonderland, Seri in K, Shane in Charlotte, Kira in Btooom, Leona in Yamada, Himeko in Kokoro Connect, Kana in Kiseijuu, and Kurapika from Hunter x Hunter. I love her voice and her singing. She apparently knows how to play the piano too. I can’t even express in words how much respect I have for her. Roles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAcgJyuO5rM Singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AM5OaDR-5U Bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBhlM0UpHLU

I think this concludes the list. I had such a hard time coming up with the order. I love my female seiyuu picks, and if you know anyone that I missed that I should’ve mentioned, just tell me! There aren’t that many female seiyuu Tumblr accounts though, so if you know any, send those to me too!

Shout out to @akaskira for this idea!

#miyuki sawashiro #maaya sakamoto #haruka tomatsu #rie kugimiya #romi park #kana hanazawa #saori hayami #maaya uchida #aoi yuuki #nana mizuki #sora amamiya

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