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autisticstarseed · 4 years

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if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️- What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

#lochley #long post/ //#hvh #human v humanity #secret saturdays #tss #sorry to spam the tag with a longk boi but hHBHHBH #TYYY #fanfic

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bloodfcst-a · 4 years

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TAGGED BY : @officiums ( like 28 years ago but ty! )

TAGGING : @garrotejima @dojiryu @enshijou @extremepath @heartmemos @90smagicalboy @dramaytan @cihcreha @shimmerseas & if this suits your fancy!

NAME : pacifica ! but you can say paci for short. FACECLAIM : i use the same as yufi-- son ga in. PRONOUNS : she / they. i’d prefer the latter, but i’m used to the former. HEIGHT : 5′2.5....... i’ll say 5′2. i’m getting smaller all the time. BIRTHDAY : 23 july. AESTHETIC : hipster? idk. that’s what people tell me. i’m just into comfortable and cute clothes, soft goth and cardigans and the atypical. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO : everything i wanted / billie eilish. FAVORITE MUSE (S) YOU’VE WRITTEN : this iteration of yufi. however, paz was intriguing yet challenging & i have a soft spot for a zidane i wrote back in high school.

* GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT :

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE : well, i loved yuffie.... but for many reasons i don’t want to openly go into detail about, i fell out of love with the ffrp. that’s an understatement, honestly-- my life was at a low point physically, emotionally, socially... and then ffrp was contributing more harm than good. i didn’t want to be a big name with big pressure anymore. and i didn’t want to be bound to that fandom anymore, especially when the fandoms that sparked joy in me lay elsewhere. so it just made sense to jump ship. and i’ve been happy ever since! though... i still do like a few connections i have, and it’s nice to have something to jump off of, bc making ocs from scratch typically overwhelms me... i feel inclined to be too ambitious and then i just want to back off.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE : a babe in like 25,000 ways of the word.

ok but really though. i love how daring and fearless she is. yufi is not invincible and she doesn’t ever proclaim to be-- but she does try to be above and beyond in everything else. she desires attention and camaraderie.... demands it, really, but in an over-exaggerated sort of manner because she’d rather make someone laugh than to have someone pity her. she’d rather someone find her amusing and entertaining than tragic... even if she’s had a lot of tragedy in her life & a lot of misunderstandings.

i also think she’s admirable in how daring she is... in her looks, her attitude, her unwavering desire to protect others and never back down. there’s no fear in going against the grain, defying conventional norms, in doing what she likes because it suits her whims as opposed to some... moral decision or what’s popular choice. she appreciates customs and traditions, but isn’t bound by them-- i love that about her.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING : my partners? ok but like. i love yakuza and i love persona... and i think modern verses are cool..... but like... it’s my partners who get me excited about exploring new verses or ideas... in delving into further situations with my muse. i love being able to play yakuza or shenmue with danny & devil and being like.... oh... what would yufi do now? i love playing kh2 and thinking... how come yufi is out here doing the things she does. i haven’t had so much thrill playing vii in a while... but maybe when remake comes out, i’ll be excited for wutai again. in the meantime... i love watching content about japan and korea... like daily life vlogs or expats who are making their ways.... i love the feeling of immersion. all of that. the exposure to ideas & then being able to expand upon them with people? mega exciting!

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS : literally just write with me scoobs i’m starving. i will say i’ve always struggled with action threads... but i’m doing my best!

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE : the people who think because yufi is pretty sexy that it’s an invitation to ask me about my sexual interests....... always thought that was a weird trend. also, “ u write well so maybe that’s ur personality, let’s date. ” i honestly don’t think i write enough ooc on this blog for someone to want to make serious life decisions over? i’d prefer if more people tried to get to know me....

also, this is more of a pet peeve, but i’ve hated how yufi keeps getting labeled as a “kleptomaniac” when even in canon she’s only stolen things that were pertinent to her goal of restoring wutai, or would give her power... and she usually plays it off when she’s caught because she can’t stand the concept of looking weak in front of others. that being said, somehow that label still follows me even though i’ve been listed as fandomless? i ... really don’t like the kleptomaniac trope applied to yufi, and i hope people note that when they pursue interactions with me. it seems to be an easy go-to for people when i like starter calls, but like.. please show me that you’ve looked into any of the content i have here by picking something that isn’t so out-of-character. there might be a yuffie out there who loves to steal for the thrill of it.... but this isn’t it, and i wouldn’t know where to find them, quite frankly! i’m happier being unaffiliated and i have no plans to return~

#♝ mun.#long post /#long post tw /

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paro-art · 5 years

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sorry for asking this weird question but how did u get such a huge following on tumblr even tho your acc is new? becoz i have friends whove been active for so long with excellent works but barely any followers and idk rlly. did u link this in ur dA&IG or sth? sorry for the weird ask, i'm just really confused and i want to help friends get more exposure. ;-; i love your art btw theyre fantastic

hey it’s okay ;v; I had the same issue on Deviantart ( until I figured out the heta fandom pretty much moved to tumblr so that’s why I’m here basically ) so I understand how you feel.

The instagram followers might be a factor ? I had 1000 but it’s not a huge huge number on instagram to be insta famous. Also I did promote my account on Discord in a 500-700 members server, but even then it started pretty low. I can’t tell for sure but I have my idea on this.

Based on my observations on the hetalia hashtag, drawing quality may be a factor but it’s mostly about drawing something that peaks the audience’s interest. If your subject isn’t familiar to the audience, even if it’s Quality™ content and the drawing is flawless, you might loss them because they’re not interested in the character or concept. An example to support my thesis, lately ‘’badly-drawn-’’insert characters’’ ask accounts have been very popular, precisely not because of the good drawing quality since it has to be bad to go along with the absurd humor. This humor is the reason those accounts work. Now for an oposite example, not gonna give any name but I knew an artist who made REALLY fantastic art but all they did was Ocs, and they did it pretty repeatedly. I was following them but I didn’t really fave their stuff because it felt dull after a while. They had very few favorites.

So yeah, that’s why I always ask myself when I create a new drawing ‘’will people understand and like it ?’’ because I used to draw very obscur comics with ocs on my DA and obviously nobody was interested in what I did because there was a lot of inside jokes too. Of course this doesn’t stop me from doing ocs from time to time. It sounds cheesy, but looking at what’s trending might help you knowing what kinda stuff people are into. One thing that works for me are meme parodies. ( yaaaaaaah )

Knowing to communicate with your audience is something important in art and you eventually get it from experience ( also studying art & design theory ! ) hope it helps, keep going ! 💖

#QnA

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mystery-salad · 5 years

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WELL ... u said u have 38 kiddos and theres 26 letters in the alphabet soooo because i'm extra and love reading about them i think u should do one letter for 26 characters of ur choosing (as long as u choose tvelle for one of them) :-) Don't have to do all the questions for each letter, just whichever excites you most!!

Well…THIS is going under a cut for sure lol, that’s gonna be a long-ass post! I’ll try to include pictures of everyone I choose since I know y’all haven’t seen all my kiddos. Instead of answering one letter for 26 kids, I answered all 26 letters for one kid each! Same number of answers, but a little more variety~

TAOMESIN

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

They’re naturally nimble and light on their feet, very manoeuvrable and can get to just about wherever they want to!

2. what activities have they participated in?

They used to love holiday activities so much~

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

They have worked hard to become a phenomenal sniper so that they can also attack from afar instead of only using close combat.

4. what things are they bad at?

Social interactions and caring

5. what is their most impressive talent?

Their ability to react fast in battle even if things have gone disastrously. They’re incredibly logical and level-headed.

RIEFT

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?

Light, vibrant green!

2. what is their eye color?

It varies from gold to emerald, colorful flecks and streaks everywhere~

3. how tall are they?

5′8″

4. how old are they?

To current day, she’s 7 years old!

5. how much do they weigh?

Roughly 150 lb

MINT (on the left)

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?

They like to curl up with their legs pulled close, nestled as far back as they can be!

2. in what position do they sleep?

Curled up tight, preferably with Azin’s arms around him while they hold onto him.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

A day where Azin is home all day from work so that the two can simply cuddle and be together while they relax~

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

They love ice cream, the cold numbing feeling inside their body is actually very nice and welcome to them on some level.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

Azin is the only one who can comfort them at all.

BODACC

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

It’d be a mess, scattered parts all over the place, mid-build machines sitting on every elevated surface! Lots of benches and tabls, a couple cleared off for guests but ultimately it’d look like a workshop.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She’d never have a child, but if she were to decorate a child’s room she’d fill it with small animatronic toys and puzzles to ensure the child stays thoroughly entertained!

3. how do they decorate their own room?

It’s overcrowded with nicknacks and spare parts she accidentally carried to her room when tired. The bed is constantly messy and she curls up in a next of blankets and pillows in the center of her mattress.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

Lots of tight clothing that can’t snag easily on tools or gears. She’s really fond of pink so a lot of her clothes are in pink tones. She tries to dress nicely to impress other asuras.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

Nope! No makeup or beauty trends for her, it’d just get messed up from her work within the first hour anyways.

TVELLE

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

Absolutely! She’s eager and so enthusiastic and excited, she’s constantly bouncing around or hanging off of her friends talking about things excitedly.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Not by asuran standards for sure! She holds no concept of superiority over others, doesn’t particularly care for traditional learning or sitting at a desk or in a workshop for any amount of time.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Definitely does her own thing! Whatever makes her happy is good, and she doesn’t really care if it’s not on trend or fashionable.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

She’s not at all, though the younger recruits she trains sometimes try to catch her up on the fads around Tyria. She good-naturedly pays attention when they all tell her something at least.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She’s very outward in her personality, what you see is 100% what you get with her. It throws most people for a loop at first, a lot of people think she might tone down more if you get to know her better, but nope! She’s just genuinely that exuberant.

IMEKAARI

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

All sorts of things! Go out to explore the town, meet new people, invite a friend to a new restaurant, learn a new hobby, relax at home with a good book, etc…he really enjoys getting the most out of life.

2. what is their ideal party?

Lots of new people to talk to, well lit and music’s quiet enough to hold casual conversation. Good food, good drinks, and of course a nice place for games or dancing if it comes up!

3. who would they have the most fun with?

He has the most fun with his three closest friends: Io, Lace, and Trahearne!

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Yup, he’s actually very on top of following rules himself, but he’s having a grand time!

5. do they go out a lot?

All the time! Whenever he has a break from work in a new location, he goes out at least a few times to explore. He also tries to get the others to go out more by inviting them places with him.

KVOLD

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

He has gorgeous eyes, a deep blue brimming with excitement!

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

He loves playing around with others and goofing off~

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

You’ll always have someone excited to hang out with you anywhere you want to go!

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

He likes his hair a lot, he missed it dearly when it grew in as vines while he was stressed. Since it’s grown soft and leafy again he’s worn it differently every day!

He doesn’t like how he seems so naive to people, he knows he can handle himself really when it comes to anything except the Court.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

He envies that others had the chance to grow up normally.

CHERIE

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

He likes it warm!

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Prefers summer, but winter snowball fights and hot drinks are delightful~

3. do they like the snow?

Yes!!! He was so excited the first time he saw it.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

He loves beach parties or hiking!

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Snowball fights!!!

AQUN

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?

She’s pan, but leans more towards girls

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Nope, she was pretty confident from the start!

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

She did for a while wonder if she was a different gender, but after a year or two of exploring she settled back to female pronouns.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her family supports her but really hopes she at least adopts a child to carry on the family name.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She never made a big announcement, and doesn’t care to. Those who would need to know already do.

TOJOLL

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?

She loves the thrill of adventure, and a good beach party!

2. who makes them happy?

Her girlfriends do

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

She loves good bar songs about victories in battle

4. are they happy often?

Almost all the time, she’s doing very well!

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Hanging out with her girlfriends

ILLIADDE

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

Yes, she’s thought of it several times but has about as much reason to kill herself as to not. Meaning none.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

She’s committed homicide many times and will many more times, without so much as a thought one way or the other.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

Lace

4. who would miss them if they died?

Strair

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

So. Many. People.

EMBRANT

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?

She loves plums and apricots a lot!

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Kiwis and Pineapples, too tart for her taste.

3. are there any foods they hate?

She’s not a fan of figs or peanuts

4. do they have any food intolerances?

Nope! She’s not got any

5. what is their favorite food?

Cupcakes! Preferably funfetti

LAIGHE

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She has a daughter, but would be happy with either

2. how many children do they want?

One at a time is honestly enough

3. would they be a good parent?

She really would be, and she was, when she wasn’t so weighed down by her job. A lot has happened since then.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

She’d let them pick their own name, considering it’d probably be another sapling.

5. would they adopt?

That’s about all she’d do lol

AEZLIN

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?

Say anything remotely self-conscious

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Nothing at the moment, he’s got everything he currently wants in life. Though I’m sure that’ll change off and on as it does.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Fight extraneously. Getting sweaty? Chance of injuries? Gross

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

By his standards? Nothing of course. He’s perfect.

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

“completed” his wyld hunt…in a way…

ENNRECK

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic for sure

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

Not particularly, he’s pretty laid back and chill.

3. are they good at giving advice?

Yup! He likes to help where he can, he just doesn’t run into many people very often.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Nope, he lives a relatively solitary life, which he enjoys~ He goes to see people when he wants to socialise.

5. were they always optimistic?

Nope, he grew up pretty unhappy in traditional charr life as someone who was pretty non-confrontational.

REGNIETTE

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?

They’re full of determination! If they set a goal, they’ll reach it.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

They’re far too stubborn for their own good

3. what of their personality do others love?

It’s never boring with them, they’re impulsive and always come back with an interesting story.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

They’re very good at loopholes

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

They hate when people are cowards or show no initiative.

ELAPHURUS

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?

Yup! They always ask for help when they need it.

2. do they ask questions in class?

If they were in class, they’d be that student with a question about almost every topic.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

They would, but they’d look awkward during it.

4. do they ask weird questions?

So Many weird questions. They’re pretty new to the world.

5. are they curious?

They’re incredibly curious! About everything! Especially other sylvari.

STRAIR

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?

Fuck no

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

They’d be a Terrible Parent

3. have they ever faced a consequence for breaking a rule?

Nope, they’re very good at fucking talking their way out of a situation!

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

Nope, they have zero regrets in their life. None at all.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

Absolutely, some laws are just ridiculously constraining or restricting or specific. They’re not about that shit.

MATTHIAS

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?

He’s very street-smart!

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

No, he got the money himself, he’s not giving it to someone else.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Ooooooh so many times in his youth

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Considering he grew up among bandits, a Lot has happened to him. He’s still looking over his shoulder for some people from his past.

5. are they cautious when out?

If he’s out without his team, he’s on guard constantly.

NIXXTE

T: Truth

1. are they honest?

They’re as honest as their job requires, they write honest reports after missions.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

Usually yes, they’re part of a spy organisation and can spot a lot of tells now.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Nope, they can lie blatantly and it’s pretty much impossible to tell. That’ll happen when half your face is missing and you sign to speak.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

Nope! No lying remorse

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

Nope, they don’t talk about anything unnecessary to say unless among people they trust.

NIKLAE

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?

Yeah, one or two saplings who weren’t so nice would bully them sometimes. Thy were a skittish and twitchy target who can’t see what’s coming.

2. have they bullied anyone?

No, they don’t socialise much if thy can help it. Positive or negative.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

Yuuup

4. have they ever been doubted?

No, they don’t regularly voice an opinion to others. They just pretty quickly rebuff most people.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Over the years they’ve gotten used to being blind, and good at maneuvering around the world seamlessly.

THALE

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?

No, they’ve got a relatively strong stomach

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Sometimes they do. There are days where they don’t eat and those can hurt pretty bad.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

If they knew anyone they likely would be very attentive and accommodating when the person is ill.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

A nice, warm and cozy corner to curl up in with a blanket~

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

They burp and cough some. They don’t hiccup much!

TIRS

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

She does!

2. have they learned to swim?

She can swim very well, loves spending time in a nice lake when it’s hot out~

3. do they like to swim?

Yeah, it’s tons of fun, especially deep dives!

4. can they dive?

She isn’t particularly graceful, but she can dive competently enough

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yup, thanks to the breathing filters Tyria has!

CUE (right)

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?

He enjoys just about everything to an extent, he’s not too picky. He really enjoys upbeat dancing music though.

2. do they have a favorite song?

No particular favorite, it changes day to day depending on what he’s feeling!

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

If you walked up to him and asked him what band he’s listening to, as he’s listening to a song, he’s shrug and say he just enjoys the song.

4. can they sing well?

Nooooope, he’s mediocre at best.

5. can they rap?

Definitely Not.

ODOLLUMN

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?

I was 20 I think!

2. what inspired you to create them?

Frilly/Lacy Pastel Goth was the goal back then

3. were they different when they were first created?

Oh yeah she was so different, she was gentle and kind and beautiful and elegant. She’s still beautiful, but now she’s unsettling and emotionless and a bit menacing.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Not more than my other favorites, but Odollumn is definitely way up there for me!

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

She’s a challenge to give motivation for since she’s so apathetic, but it’s a really interesting challenge to be honest.

ENVERT

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?

She loves fern hounds, they’re particularly hardy and survive a lot of physical stress.

2. do they like animals?

She loves animals! They’re so convenient.

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs are easier to trap and handle.

4. what’s their dream pet?

She’d love to one day get her hands on an electric wyvern.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

She’s currently got several ‘pets’, yes!

#miragecounseling #writing: everyone #I am Not individually tagging them all lol

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19possums-blog · 5 years

Text

On tianshan relationship and their fandom, i guess ?

hello there @nightfayre !! Im the 5asks anon lol (the one abt the last chapter of tianshan). I wanted to thank you for your answer and continue to rant in your askbox but i figured it was so long that mb it would crash ur box lmao, so I... kind of created a blog..... hm. well theres no bad reasons to create an account is there lol ?? (also is there no way to send a long ask ?? why is it so limited :(( )

So once again thank you for anwser, and what an answer ! You raised many points i didnt think about and that was very interesting. I knew i would be glad to hear your thoughts ! the rest under a read more coz i think its going to be looong lol

(( To do a sort of disclaimer : I despise fandom discourse and im more of the mentality “let ppl enjoy what they want as long as it dont hurt real life ppl”, and “dont like dont interact”. So everything im going to say is not an attack against anyone, but just a way of prolonging a manhwa that i like. Most of all, i want to emphasize that at the end of the day, its just a manhwa : it doesnt justify being mean or aggressive towards other real life ppl. If you find yourself raging while reading fandom wank, just stop reading, block, and go outside a little. My way of enjoying the manhwa is to be analytical, to criticize (positively and negatively) and to look at the material source as well as the fandom in itself ; if its (understandably lol) not your definition of fun, this post may not be for you !))

Ur totally right in saying that the hardest thing is separate morality, reality and fiction. I hope my asks didn't come across as a 'u shouldnt like tianshan bc its not morally good'. There is a lot of puritan push back on tumblr lately, and im totally against it. Everyone is free to like/ship what they want ; reading only ‘morally good’ literature wont prevent you to become a nasty person - i would argue itd be the exact opposite, as your spirit wont be trained to think critically or to evaluate a situation (and every situations is always grey) by your own means. Also, its important to separate fantasies/what you like to read and who you are/what you do. To be embarrassingly honest, and like many people, one of my sexual fantasy is rape ; but in my real life, im in a queer anarchist collective that actively fights against rape culture and defends rape victims. That is why i dont have a problem with SheLI/Mo shippers (or even HeCheng/SheLi shippers) even if its not my cup of tea, but i would have a problem if in real life (irl) ppl would say to irl Mo that irl SL is good for him (or if they wouldnt find it wrong that a irl 30yo Cheng is involved wt an irl 15yo Li). I digress.

But then again this confusion about fiction/reality/morality is at the core of the tianshan fandom -and many fandoms. I dont know about you, but i grossly see 3 types of ‘trends’ depending on how ppl interact with the source material :

1.The ones who think you cant like something while being critical of it. I love 19 days but I think there are flaws in it, beyond tianshan dynamic (like how OX handles the transition between funny and dramatic moments –I think its badly done). It doesn’t mean I personally hate OX and wish harm to their family oc. Worse than this, the ones who, because they dont like certain things in 19 days, feel free to harass OX on their social media. Here its a confusion between fiction and reality and a lack of critical thinking.

2. the ones that loves Tianshan because they think it fits the trope “Dark, handsome, tortured violent boy who is violent towards fragile, sweet, pure cute boy because he loves him” and the typically associated trope “the pure boy will change the violent boy by the pureness of his heart”. Aka the most common yaoi trope. Again, if it pleases people to see Tianshan like this, good for them and i hope they have a nice time reading 19 days. Lets face it, I love really bad yaoi and books. Its just not how i see tianshan at all, but to each their own. I just have a problem when these ppl insist that its an ok behavior to have in real life and say things like “possessiveness is a proof of love” uncritically (hint : it isnt). For me, its the difference between enjoying fast food (thats okay), and wanting to force everyone to eat fast food and to find it pleasurable (not okay).

3. the ones that think what you like in literature defines who you are, and so in order to be a “good person” you have to only like “morally good litterature” -there are the ones I personally find the more interesting bc they can ask good questions. But alas, in most cases its just puritanism badly disguised and currently they are in all fandoms. Lets not delve into the issue of this statement : what is ‘morally good’ ? who are in the authority to proclaim what is good ? how can you recognize what is ‘morally good’ if you dont see what is ‘morally not good’ ? is it literature’s responsibility to educate its audience ? do literature have to point out “watch out audience what just happened is not okay” as if we were brainless children ? whats more important : what you like reading or what you do irl ? .... Okay i totally delve into this lmao. Here its a confusion between fiction and morality and a rejection of critical thinking : we could say its like when the Catholics prohibited women from reading bc it would pervert them and think of the children).

Returning to the specifics of what we've been talking about : so in this last case, you (generic ‘you’) think that you are a good person ; so you have to read morally good literature. So in this case, fandom isnt just a harmless hobby, but a proof of how you are morally good, imagine the stakes ! But alas, you happen to like 19 days and most specifically tianshan. You said (@nightfayre ) that you judge Tianshan unhealthy as they are now, and i wholeheartedly agree with you, so im not going to discuss why since you already explained it so well. So, what happens when you like a morally not good ship, but you think liking morally dubious things makes you a bad person ? You bent over backwards to explain that, in fact, this ship is morally good, to protect your integrity. And thats why, in 19days fandom since the last chapter (and its the same thing with every chapter where flaws of HT are revealed!), there are many posts going around “hm, in fact, what He Tian did is good ! i know it can seems like hes a violent asshole who dont respect MGS because he punches him, threatens him, and dont listen to him, but hm.... in fact its because he’s nice...” and then they do mental gymnastics to justify what is, obviously, not morally justifiable. And i find its a pity because, my guy, my buddy, nobody is going to throw you tomatoes if you like a morally dubious character, and also bc nothin is morally good ! everybody does what they think is the best in ‘problematic situations’ ! and thats what make life interesting ! and so, 19 days interesting ! The flaws of HT (and MGS) are what drawn ppl to his character, bc it makes him real, its makes him contradictory, we can project ourselves in him, and we can see a complicated character with awesome latent potential. And yes, treating someone like a territory bc you care about them is a flaw lol. (on this subject : i saw ppl saying that its protectiveness and not possession : if you protect someone like you would protect a territory, then its not a healthy protection. you deal with a human whose agency you must respect, contrary to a territory).

MGS and HT are the product of what happen to them in their early childhood and then their adolescence. Like you said, they grow up in a violent, twisted world, where being emotionally distant is the norm. I would even say that they are expected to conform to the standards of (toxic) masculinity : channel all your emotions into anger, caring is being weak and feminine, prove your worth by your physical strength, be in control in all ur relationship, etc. I would say thats why Mo is so hostile towards HT : HT challenges his masculinity, by seducing him (everyone know that the biggest fear of macho men like HT and Mo is being considered gay -_-) and being stronger than him. Lets face it, Mo has kind of a homophobic issue, like all the boys. Between JY who tells HT its disgusting being told hes handsome by a man (at the beginning of the manhwa, i hope by now he had grown out of it), or Mo who tells HT he isnt happy that a guy is on his bed or who desperately wants to prove his heterosexuality by saying he likes all cute girls to his baldy friend... HT is more nuanced, but at the end, when he ‘seduces’ Mo, its always predatory. He doesnt let himself being vulnerable and he aggressively touches Mo even without his consent. For me, its a way of proving his domination, not his interest (and when i say that, i dont mean that HT is not genuinely interested in Mo -just that his actions dont translate this). ZZX is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with his masculinity lol, but then hes the healthy one in all aspects (thats why i dont like his character and am not invested in zhanyi, even if irl i would love to be his friend).

With all that being said, oc HT wont know how to adequately express genuine concern and interest in Mo ! This sort of social interactions is not something you just know, its smth you learn. And in HT and Mo’s cases, nobody was there to teach them -we could even say that ppl in their life made them unlearn caring behaviors. So HT does what he does best : he fights and forces, and is surprised when Mo thinks (obviously) HT is evil. And also, like you said, Mo will never be (at least how he is now) a driving force in their relationships bc he will always run away from bonding with ppl. So here we are, HT being the only driving force in their relationship, the same HT who only knows violence. No wonder that their relationship is like this...

As it is, i feel like tianshan is kind of in an impasse right now. One or the other is going to have to evolve if we want to see their relationships changing. Either HT learns how to care without being violent (seems complicated if Mo doesnt challenges him, bc HT isnt going to realize this without feedback since its how he has always functioned), or, more likely, Mo is going to be honest with him and tell him that his behavior is hurting him. Though more probable, I dont see it happening anytime soon : for one, Mo isnt capable of seeing when he is hurting emotionally and what is hurting him ; and also, bc Mo doesnt know any other language than violence, not unlike HT. I think its smth most of the fandom ignore, how violence is smth that HT and MGS both have in common, and how if HT wasnt violent, MGS certainly wouldnt consider him at all.

Anw im excited to see where OX is going with all this ! Like you said, the forced kiss was pivotal to their relationship, so im kind of hoping it would be the same here ! I just hope they wont... do like usual and just put a funny chapter and ignore this latest development.....

OMG i wrote soo much and there is so much i still want to say.... i think im going to do a second post... sorry about the spam lmao

( @nightfayre : i dont know how this site works yet, is @ you alright ? will it show you my post in your notif or should i send an ask ? bc i want you to see my answer, but i dont want you to feel pressurized to respond or interact or anything !! above all dont feel pressurized, i was sad last night when you wrote ‘im sorry to not answer more quicly’ bc you should answer at your own rhythm or not answer ! your blog is a hobby, not an obligation, so dont feel bad to not do more when yo already do much !! )

#19days #19 days #tianshan

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orange-in-the-overcast · 6 years

Note

Ur knifey space boy for the ABCs

A: Aptitude1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Castor’s always been very athletically inclined. He’s a rowdy boy that likes to get dirty and scuffle with people and run around and throw things. It’s why he’s so strong even though he looks like a twig and is a shorty– he’s just always been that kind of kid.

2. what activities have they participated in?

There wasn’t a whole lot in the way of “activities” available to him growing up. His father, Xavier, taught him to sword fight when he was young as an outlet for Castor’s natural fiery temper and energy. His other father, Elliott, was more into mechanics and tinkering with things, so Castor tended to help him in the garage sometimes. Apart from that, he kind of just occupied his time with whatever random pastimes he could come up with.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

His strength and his sword fighting, of course. Natural talent can only get a person so far.

4. what things are they bad at?

He’s never been a very creatively inclined person. Never ask him to draw anything or play an instrument. It will be an assault on your senses you will not recover from.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

His knife throwing accuracy is ridiculously on-point. (Heh. On-point. Because knives.)

B: Basics1. what is their hair color?

Black with a blue fringe.

2. what is their eye color?

Kind of a medium brown.

3. how tall are they?

5′5″

4. how old are they?

He just turned 19.

5. how much do they weigh?

137lbs.

C: Comfort1. how do they sit in a chair?

Slouched, always. Will definitely prop his feet up on something if there’s anything within range. Is also the person that will straddle a chair and fold his arms on the back of it instead of just turning the chair around.

2. in what position do they sleep?

He could sleep pretty much anywhere in any position. He sleeps best sprawled out on his stomach or on his back.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

It used to be spending the day doing simple things with the people he cared about— working in the garage with Elliott, cooking dinner with Xavier, taking a walk with his best friend. Now the closest he gets to comfort days is training until his bones ache, washing away the pain in the shower, and then drinking himself into a stupor.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Honestly, he just probably fucking scarfs bread when he’s upset. It was always easy to get his hands on at home and he could throw random shit on it to make it more interesting without putting in too much effort. Anything more complicated was a special treat, so he just. Got used to eating bread all the time. It makes him feel better.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

Either his dads or his best friend.

D: Decoration1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

His house would probably be pretty minimalistic, just because he’s never really had much nor cared for appearances. There’d be some signs to show it was lived in— clothes scattered in a few places, dishes in the sink, that kind of thing. Maybe he’d have a few posters up on the walls or pictures of people he loved around, but otherwise it’d be pretty bare.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

He would have no fucking clue how to decorate a kid’s room but damn if he wouldn’t try his best. His fathers could only give him so much to decorate with as a kid, so he kind of just collected things he thought were neat and put them in random places in his room. For his own kid, he’d try to give them a basic setup of cute/cool things and then let them decide how else they wanted to decorate as they got older.

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Literally it’s a disaster all the time he doesn’t bother decorating he just throws shit on the furniture and the floor. There, it’s his now.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

He wears things that’re comfortable and easy to move in. Lots of blue and black, loose shirts and flexible pants, boots, gloves (fingerless, of course), those kinds of things. He also has a necklace that he keeps hidden under his shirt— a simple pendant with a piece of tree bark held inside.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

He doesn’t usually do makeup or anything because it just takes too long and he really doesn’t care about his appearance. He can be convinced to put on eyeliner or paint his nails on occasion, though.

E: External Personality1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

Yes and no. He is a rather fiery boy by nature, and that certainly comes out in the way he acts. But he’s also much softer and more fragile than he lets on— his short temper only gets worse when he’s trying to keep his guard up and prevent people from realizing just how lonely and easily breakable he is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

I mean, he’s part of a rebellion and basically hates everything the “norm” stands for, so not really.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Honestly Castor doesn’t even know what trends are so he definitely does his own thing.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

What’s an Internet.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

He’s basically an open book, so even if he doesn’t try to let people in and see how his personality really is, it happens anyway.

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun?

Hits things, tinkers with things, broods, stuffs his face with food, hangs out with the people whose company he actually enjoys, all that good stuff.

2. what is their ideal party?

No party at all. Alcohol alone in his room is party enough.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

His dads, his best friend, his new boyfriend Percy, his new sons Ravi and Crumb, and his new buddy Val.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Yes and no. He has a fun time breaking rules but he doesn’t need to break them to have fun.

5. do they go out a lot?

Mostly just for jobs, or missions now that he’s part of the Freedom Vessel. Sometimes he does go out just for fun, but not nearly as much as he used to on Earth.

G: Gorgeous1. what is their most attractive external feature?

If you asked him, he’d probably give you a blank look and then stammer out something about maybe his hair. Objectively, his eyes are also contenders, mostly for how expressive they are.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

Again, if you asked him, he wouldn’t really know how to answer and might mumble something about how he’s pretty brave, he guesses. If you asked someone else, it’d be his unwavering loyalty for the people he cares about, and the softness he hides underneath all the prickles.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

He would literally die for you. If you need something done or help with anything, he’s there for you. He’ll soften up around you and let himself be vulnerable and honest for once in his life. If he trusts you, he’ll make sure you never doubt that you can trust him.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

He likes how strong he is and how unafraid he is to fight for what he wants. He thinks he’s a fairly smart guy (even if a very oblivious one). On the other hand, he hates that he has a hard time connecting with people and that his temper tends to get the better of him all the time.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

He envies people that are able to just open up about their lives and themselves like it’s nothing. He envies people that are still innocent, that haven’t had to see hardship in their lives yet, or can somehow move past that hardship and still be optimistic about the world.

H: Heat1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

He’s not a fan of the cold, but he’d rather have a cold room because he likes bundling up in his blankets when he sleeps.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Generally summer.

3. do they like the snow?

It never really snowed where he lived, so he’s not all that familiar with it. He wouldn’t like the cold all that much, but he’d have fun with all the different things you can do in the snow.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

He really likes swimming. It was something he could easily do back home on Earth when it was hot out, and he has a lot of fond memories of swimming with his family.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

He’s never really done all that much that would be considered a “winter” activity. If he got the chance to try it, though, he’d enjoy snowboarding.

I: In-the-closet1. what is their sexuality?

He’s a very, very gay boy.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Not really. He grew up with two gay dads, so they always emphasized that whatever kind of people he ended up preferring would be totally natural and nothing to worry about. It was fairly easy for him to accept his own sexuality once he realized what it was.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

Nope, he’s happy the way he is.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Oh, his dads were in full support of it when he told them. They would’ve never disapproved of anything like that.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

He realized he was gay fairly young— around when he was thirteen or so, and he came out to his dads fairly soon after that. If there was anyone he could trust with that, he knew it’d be them.

J: Joy1. what makes them happy?

Punching people in the face who deserve it, fiddling with mechanical things, getting affection from the people he loves (he craves it much more than he’d ever admit), sitting outside where he can just relax and listen to the world around him, dogs, roughhousing with people, hearing his loved ones’ voices, curling up in a blanket burrito.

2. who makes them happy?

His dads, his best friend, Ravi and Crumb, Percy, and Val. The list will likely expand as time goes on. At least we hope.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

His best friend used to sing all the time, so there’s a few favorite songs Castor picked up from her that he catches himself humming every now and again. He loves them as much as they make him homesick.

4. are they happy often?

Not nearly as often as he used to be, and even then he was always a bit of a grump.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Being with his family, knowing that the people he cares about are safe.

K: Kill1. have they ever thought about suicide?

There was a brief period of his life where he was in a darker place than he ever wants to be in again. At that point, he considered it a few times.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

If you count wanting to murder as many Genesis assholes as possible, then yes, quite often.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

The people who took his family from him, and Queen Genesis.

4. who would miss them if they died?

His dads (who he can only hope are still alive) and his best friend (who already misses him). Apart from that, he doesn’t think anyone cares about him enough to miss him if he’s gone.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Likely the people of Genesis and anyone who had a hand in squashing the Earth rebellion.

L: Lemons1. what is their favorite fruit?

Pears are pretty tasty.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

He doesn’t like anything super tart, though raspberries in particular don’t agree with him.

3. are there any foods they hate?

He absolutely despises mushrooms. Do not bring them anywhere near him.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

None that he’s aware of.

5. what is their favorite food?

Chocolate cake holds a very special place in his heart. He rarely got sweets at home just because the means of making them weren’t super accessible, but he always got homemade chocolate cake on his birthday.

M: Maternal1. would they want a daughter or a son?

At the moment, kids are the last thing on his mind, but someday he’d like them. He wouldn’t really care if he had a son or a daughter— he’d love them the same either way.

2. how many children do they want?

If he really thought about it, probably just one or two.

3. would they be a good parent?

As much as he’d be constantly terrified that he was a bad father, he’d be a pretty good one, all things considered. He’d certainly love his kids just as much as his fathers loved him.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

If he had a son, he’d definitely name him Xavier or Elliott, or perhaps both, for his dads. If he had a daughter, his first instinct would be to name her after his best friend.

5. would they adopt?

Absolutely. He was adopted, after all, why wouldn’t he want to extend the same kind of love to a kid who needs it?

N: Never Have I Ever1. what would they never do?

Intentionally hurt someone he loves, willingly stay outside during a thunderstorm, give up looking for his fathers.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Visit the snow, eat an entire batch of cookies in one sitting, be taller than 5’5”, meet his birth parents, kiss a cute boy.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Well he can’t believe any of the shit Genesis pulls, but that’s a given. He also can’t believe people that put mayo on their sandwiches.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

Apart from losing a push-up contest to his crush, he once took a dare from his best friend to streak through their hometown in broad daylight because he’s an idiot and will never back down from a challenge. He ran right into Xavier in the process and got marched back home on a massive walk of shame, with Xavier greeting every single person they saw with, “Hey, have you met my idiot son, Castor?”

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

He left his best friend behind.

O: Optimism1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

He’s definitely a pessimist.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

Not at all. He’s more likely to throw his pessimism on people.

3. are they good at giving advice?

He can’t even get his own shit together let alone help other people get their shit together.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

His best friend used to be his main source of optimism, but since he doesn’t have that anymore, it’ll be up to all the new people he’s met to do the same. Mostly Ravi and Crumb.

5. were they always optimistic?

Even as a little kid he was never really the optimistic type, so you could say he’s always been pessimistic.

P: Personality1. what is their best personality trait?

His unwavering loyalty.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

His fiery temper.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Speaking from the perspective of a certain bird boy, it’s the softness that lies underneath Castor’s prickly exterior and stupid, brash decisions.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

While he probably wouldn’t agree, others might envy him for his ability to act without overthinking things too much (though that tends to get him in trouble), or his tendency to be overly honest (which also gets him in trouble).

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

Obviously he hates people that are perfectly fine with or willing to oppress others. He also tends to not get along with people who also have bad tempers, because then he just clashes with them all the time. As for his own personality, sometimes he wishes he stopped to think about things before he did them, but in the moment he gets too emotional to bother.

Q: Questions1. do they ask for help?

If he can avoid it, then he’ll never be the one to ask for help.

2. do they ask questions in class?

He never really asked questions in school because he didn’t give two shits about anything he was being taught, especially when his schools tended to just preach about how wonderful Genesis was all the time.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

If poked and prodded enough, he will, though not without major reluctance and a lot of blushing.

4. do they ask weird questions?

He tends to not have much of a filter, so he might ask weird questions sometimes without really thinking about it. In general, though, he tries not to pry too much into people’s lives.

5. are they curious?

Mildly so, yeah, but he’s also incredibly oblivious to everything around him.

R: Rules1. do they follow rules?

Name any rule, and Castor has likely broken it at least once.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

A mix of both. He’d be strict in the sense of trying to protect his children and make sure nothing bad happened to his family, because he knows exactly what it’s like to lose the people he loves, and he would never want his children to know that pain, or to go through it himself again. But if it was something like, “Hey dad, can we go teepee Aunt Flor’s house,” he’d be like, “Fuck yeah, we can.”

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

Oh definitely. The last time he broke the rules, one of his new friends almost died, so y’know. Boy’s gotta deal with the consequences of his stupid actions.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

He regrets breaking the rules they set on their last mission, since poor Val paid the price. Otherwise, not really. He doesn’t give much of a shit about rules.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

He’s never understood parents that don’t allow their children to curse. His household never cared, so he’s been cursing like a sailor since he was about eight.

S: Streets1. are they street-smart?

Definitely. He spent a lot of time just out in the streets when he was growing up, and even in his recent line of work he’s been constantly navigating the streets.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

While he never really has much money to go around, he has given money to homeless people before.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

More than he could ever count.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Honestly, a better question would be what hasn’t happened to him on the streets.

5. are they cautious when out?

Typically, yes, because nowadays he’s either on a job or trying to lay low so people don’t recognize him.

T: Truth1. are they honest?

Sometimes brutally so, yes. Though he has been yelled at for lying to children before, but in his defense, he was trying to protect his identity. And he’s proven to be an absolutely terrible liar.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

Considering how unobservant he is, he’s probably pretty bad at telling if someone’s lying.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Definitely. He’s bad at coming up with lies on the spot, so he tends to stammer and fumble if he’s put under pressure. If he can tell his lie is falling flat, he starts fidgeting and giving himself away even more.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

He regrets lying to Ravi and Crumb when he first met them because they’re sweet baby boys.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

Well, he didn’t want anyone to know what his real name was when he first met everyone on the Freedom Vessel, but that went south real fast. He’s also not a big fan of being known as “the kid whose parents started the Earth rebellion.”

U: Underdog1. have they been bullied?

He was bullied a little bit in school because he’s always tended to be a small kid, but once people realized how feisty he was, they tended to leave him alone. He’s been bullied a lot more in recent years by adults who don’t take a scrawny, angry kid seriously.

2. have they bullied anyone?

While he’s more than willing to fight people, Castor’s no bully.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

If we’re counting the grown adults that pick on him every now and again, then definitely.

4. have they ever been doubted?

Oh, absolutely. Most of all by himself.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Most people don’t expect him to be nearly as strong as he is, considering his size. It makes for a fun surprise when he gets into fights with people.

V: Vomit1. do they vomit often?

Hardly at all. He doesn’t usually get sick.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Nah, not really.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

Yes and no. He tries his best, he really does, and he gets genuinely concerned when someone he cares about is sick. He’s just not very good at comfort in general, so he tends to be a little awkward about it.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

He’s gotten used to taking care of himself when he’s sick or generally feeling like garbage, so pretty much any kind of comfort or care would be a welcome surprise. His fathers used to get him soup or frozen treats or whatever he needed to feel better when he was a kid, and they’d always keep him company when he wasn’t feeling well. He misses that.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

Burp, I guess? And coughing when vomiting?

W: Water1. do they drink enough water?

Not nearly as much as he should. He’s not the best at taking care of himself.

2. have they learned to swim?

Indeed.

3. do they like to swim?

He doesn’t do it very often, but he’s always liked it.

4. can they dive?

Definitely. One of the first things he demanded to learn was diving when his fathers were teaching him.

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

For sure.

X: Xylophone1. what is their favorite genre of music?

Anything that fits in the vaguely alternative/rock category, or sounds remotely angsty.

2. do they have a favorite song?

Not at the moment. He tends to just shuffle through random things that appeal to him without really getting attached to one in particular.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

Pretty much the same deal with artists and bands as with songs.

4. can they sing well?

He’s not particularly stellar at singing, but he’s not bad. He doesn’t do it very often, and usually if he does, it’s not intentional. It’s something he does absentmindedly from time to time.

5. can they rap?

Definitely not.

Y: You1. how old were you when you created them?

The ripe old age of 21, since I came up with the boy a few months ago.

2. what inspired you to create them?

I needed a good kid for a good space campaign, so I came up with his design first, and then the rest fell into place.

3. were they different when they were first created?

Not really. He hasn’t had much of a chance to grow yet.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

I don’t really write for him so much as play him, but he’s currently my favorite of my kids to play.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

I think Castor embodies one of my favorite character tropes— angry, feisty kid who’s actually just scared and soft and lonely once you get to know them. He carries a lot of weight on his shoulders and it’s a lot of fun to play around with him. He’s one of those kids that’s grown up way too fast, but is still a kid at heart, and both of those sides get to come out in their own time.

Z: Zebra1. what’s their favorite animal?

He hates to admit it because he’s afraid he’ll get made fun of, considering his personality is so opposite his favorite animal, but he really loves otters.

2. do they like animals?

In general, yeah.

3. cats or dogs?

Generally dogs, but cats are cool, too. He certainly acts more like a cat than a dog.

4. what’s their dream pet?

A big ol’ fluffy dog he can just collapse on at the end of a long day and cuddle with.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

Not at the moment, no.

#castor rafel #dungeons and dragons #my characters #imaturtlebug

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lurrkingly · 4 years

Text

2019

content warning: suicidal ideation I wasn't originally going to write a reflective entry about 2019, but then I figured I might as well, if only so that I can look back on it in one year's time.

The first 9 months of the year I spent at home instead of at school. While I had a lot more time to do art and also work a long-term job, it wasn't great for my mental health. I can really only stand my family in small doses.

Artistically, 2019 was a year of (what I would call) exponential improvement for me. Technically and otherwise. I did get better at drawing, yeah, but I also learned a lot about what I like to draw, how to improve, and what an artistic industry looks like and prefers.

Starting at the end of 2018 and well into the middle of 2019, I thought it would be a good idea to contribute to a ton of zines. I'm talking literally a few dozens at this point. This was an interesting learning experience for me, because while most of my pieces were decent, and a few are some of my personal favorites now, a good portion of them are not pieces I'm proud of and have not really posted anywhere else lol. This period was a great lesson in time management and learning when to take on commitments, vs when to pass. I still do zines on occasion, but only after triple-checking with myself that I absolutely want to do them, and will have time to do them. I'm still learning how to do this correctly!

I also worked my first "real" job in the art industry-- in games! I worked for a small, relatively new studio on the demo of their first in-house project. The experience was great, and it taught me what I do and do not appreciate in a workplace. Now, I value direct communication more than ever. I'm really glad I got the opportunity to learn more about the industry firsthand. Having people tell me what to draw all the time also made me value personal art more, so that's something I also plan on doing more of in the future!

I learned that I still have a lot (like, a lot) of insecurities surrounding my art, which I'm still trying to conquer. I'm trying to open up to the idea of sharing my art with IRLs more, when the idea used to terrify me. It still makes me nervous sometimes, for lots of reasons I don't feel like elaborating on here, but I'm workin on it! These internal issues with my art were part of a larger ongoing mental health crisis for me. I was constantly bombarded with thoughts like-- Your friends don't actually like your art, they're just pretending; Your bf thinks your art is weird; No one in your life values you and you will eventually be replaced by everyone you care about; You're stupid and your friends hate you and make fun of you when you're not around; You'll never amount to anything, at best you'll just be a financial burden on your family; Everyone who claims they like your art just does so out of pity.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to stop caring so much about follower counts and engagement. Though they are nice, they are no indicator of skill or passion for art. And before writing that sentence, I thought-- damn, I have so few followers in the grand scheme of things, it sounds like I'm saying that just because I'm small and unpopular, to make myself feel better. But on the other hand, I thought, if a really big artist were to say something similar, that followers do not exactly correlate with skill or passion, the response would just be "ur just saying that cause you have tens of thousands of followers lol". It is nice when people engage with my art-- I really appreciate it! But I truly strive to get back to the kind of mental space I was at when I started drawing seriously, at age 11 or so. That is, making art simply because it made me happy, not because I wanted to go with the current 24-hour tags or trends, or because I thought it would gain me followers. Some artists often say that drawing what you love will eventually find you the right audience. Even if it's not a huge audience, I think that's alright. I would rather have a smaller amount of people following me who are affected and inspired by my work than a larger one that does not.

Thus far, that attitude has been working! It's helped me care less about churning out relevant trendy art, and more about taking my time and creating pieces that I personally love to look at. Expect a lot more oc stuff from me in the future lol!

As far as my current mental health, I've returned to school (senior year baby!!) and I'm doing a lot better than I was earlier in 2019. I haven't seriously considered killing myself in a good few months, where before the urges would usually strike every week-and-a-half or so, and last for days on end.

I also found that RP stuff was also a major factor in my mental health, in 2019 and even before. I love rping and I love my OCs! But there are certain things about rping-- both in groups and with individuals 1-on-1-- that can be very draining. I suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria, as a symptom of my ADHD. Essentially, I perceive very minor or non-issues to be a demonstration of how much my friends hate me and hate talking to me, and I experience very extreme and visceral reactions to that "rejection". So, in addition to IRL relationships, online and rp relationships can cause me great distress very easily, and trigger anxiety or depressive episodes. For the sake of my mental health and happiness, my second big New Year's Resolution is not necessarily to care less about my rp friends, but more to focus on myself, and what I can create and enjoy on my own.

To that end-- I want to try and at least finish crafting the plots of my comic(s) in 2020. I have a few planned, but obviously comic-making is a very time-consuming process, and I want to be fully prepared before I jump in. So, I probably won't even get to publishing any in 2020. If I do, I'll be surprised. But! Like I said before, expect much more OC art out of me in the coming year. I feel inspired by my OCs all the time, and I hope you enjoy seeing them lol!

2020 will be a year of transitions for me. I will be graduating college in June, and I will be attending graduate school the following fall, starting my master's degree in the field of counselling, or marriage and family therapy. I am also applying to art school, which I plan to complete online. Hopefully that all works out! : D

I also kind of want to start writing more personal posts here on tumblr and DA as well. I want you guys to get to know me better! That's always one of my favorite parts about following artists-- getting to know their personality, etc.

Anyways, if you've read this whole thing, cool! I hope you know at least a little more about me as a person.

I hope you have a 2020 full of discoveries, excitement, and comfort. At the very least, I hope you pledge to truly strive to take care of yourself in 2020, even more than in 2019. I will do the same.

Warmly,

lurr / niisanberg

#personal #text #year in review

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trustcop · 6 years

Note

every single salt symbol because i want to know more about ur blog lol

Salty Munday Meme|| Not Accepting (you are the reason I am not accepting omg) I am skipping ones answered previously

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you? Say something negative, publish too much negativity, or make a call out post. Right then and there? We are done. I want people to be NICE.

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? Having an OC be mistaken as someone else from a different fandom all because they didn’t even read my About or look at my blog enough.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? One of my characters was once godmodded into getting her butt kicked and I was like “whoa there, friend. True, she would have gotten her ass handed to her, but not like this.”

♚ How many people don't like you? Probably a lot

⚜ How many people do you not like? For this fandom? Just a handful. I tend to avoid them and unfollowed them pretty fast.

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama? Grandma is too OLD for drama. I just keep my head down and offer a safe place for people to enjoy themselves.

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama? I was once harassed because someone really wanted my Matt Murdock URL. It was crazy.

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation? Constantly.

☼ How long do you stay mad? Like 3 hours max.

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have? I am WAYYY too forgiving sometimes. There are some sins that we should not overlook but I do.

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been? I don’t think so?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? Oh boy. People aren’t going to like me much after this, but I really hate those icons where you can barely see someone’s face and the light it too like and the dark is too dark and everyone basically has it and I hate it. So much. Half the time, I can’t tell who it is so I ignore it in a thread.

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about? I always give people a chance, but yeah. They usually end up being as bad as people say. I never learn my lesson, though.

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post? FUCK. NO. That shit is disgusting.

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill? People RPing NSFW with not of age muses and muns. I lose my shit every time.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts? Lemme repeat: THEY ARE GROSS

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting? Honestly? This one, the ST fandom. 11/10 great place to be

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you? I encourage it so we can form THE SQUAD.

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction? Uhhh I don’t know what this is trying to ask me, but I don’t believe in reblog karma.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? Y E S

❦ Has someone been jealous of you? Highly fucking doubt it.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? Well, we don’t use gifs anymore and we format now. Haahaa yay 2012!

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in? THE BEST PLACE EVER???

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? Pretty salty, but I am hoping the reason for my salt will go away soon.

#;; answered #;; about jess #;; out of uniform #So. much. talking. about. me.#also no one hate me because I hate your icons #it is just an aesthetic thing I don't like #and since I don't like it I don't do it #but I don't hate people because they do it #if that makes sense #-sweats-#I'm still nice ok!!!#Anonymous

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choiced · 7 years

Text

TXT TLK; chris x oc (?)

my take on the prompt phrase, “that was fun, let’s do it again sometime!” set in a canon-divergent version of the freshman, where a wrong number text turns into something more.

author’s note: i wanted to try something a little out of my comfort zone, so here’s a “fic” written entirely in texts. this is pretty self-indulgent tbh, and written with an OC instead of the MC (since being roommates wouldn’t quite work with this concept), but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless? thanks @hollyashton and @zigisbisexual for hosting!

Chris P. - 9:57 AM hey do u remember which hall prof atiyah’s class was moved to?

Chris P. - 9:57 AM im gonna be late

xxx-xx73: - 9:58 AM Assuming you mean her gen ed class in two minutes, we’re in Block G, second floor. The room next to the vending machine outside.

Chris P.: - 9:58 AM thanks zack. why r u typing funny?

xxx-xx73: - 9:59 AM Are you implying typing with proper capitalisation is funny, or just that my typing style is unusual to you?

xxx-xx73: - 9:59 AM Also, not Zack. That might explain it.

Chris P.: - 10:00 AM ...not zack?

xxx-xx73: - 10:00 AM Nope. Delilah.

xxx-xx73: - 10:02 AM Atiyah just walked in. You might want to speed up a bit.

Chris P.: - 10:02 AM damn it

Delilah: - 10:11 AM Are you the blond guy who just came in?

Chris P.: - 10:11 AM ha, yeah, that was embarrassing

Delilah: - 10:12 AM I think Professor Atiyah is just inclined to humiliate any and all tardy students. No need to be embarrassed, “Mister Powell”.

Chris P.: - 10:13 AM oh god, just chris will do. please

Delilah: - 10:16 AM Haha, alright. Chris, then. Nice to meet you.

Chris P.: - 10:18 AM i’d say nice to meet u too, but i’m not sure who i’m supposed to be looking at

Chris P.: - 10:18 AM i spot at least seven people on their phones right now

Delilah: - 10:20 AM If their texts are coming from people as entertaining as you, I don’t blame them. Especially in the face of this dull lecture.

Chris P.: - 10:21 AM entertaining?? i can’t tell if u’re flirting with me or insulting me to be honest

Chris P.: - 10:22 AM and you didn’t answer my question about who you are. where are you sitting?

Delilah: - 10:22 AM I think I’ll keep the mystery going for a while longer.

Delilah: - 10:23 AM And I’m definitely not insulting you, so I guess by process of elimination...

Chris P.: - 10:24 AM ha, cute

Chris P.: - 10:24 AM so if this is a mystery, can i make guesses or something

Delilah: - 10:25 AM Guess away.

Chris P.: - 10:28 AM ur name’s delilah, so im guessing u’re a girl? are u the one in the front row? two seats from the far left

Delilah: - 10:29 AM Ha, god no. I haven’t sat at the front of the class since sophomore year of high school.

Delilah: - 10:30 AM Also, that girl’s hairstyle is way too cool for me to pull off.

Chris P.: - 10:31 AM hmm

Chris P.: - 10:34 AM are u the one in the middle row? yellow jacket. hiding her phone behind her textbook

Delilah: - 10:36 AM Nope, I’m a little more bold about my ‘misconduct’, as Atiyah would no doubt call this. And totally staring at you now, so this should make your guesses a lot easier.

Chris P.: - 10:36 AM i dont see anyone staring at me?? wait

Chris P.: - 10:37 AM oh

Chris P.: - 10:37 AM hello

Delilah: - 10:38 AM Ha. Hello.

Chris P.: - 10:40 AM u were totally my next guess

Delilah: - 10:40 AM Pfft, of course. Also, stop turning around before Atiyah catches us.

Chris P.: - 10:42 AM sorry. it’s just nice to look at u

Chris P.: - 10:42 AM i mean

Chris P.: - 10:43 AM u know, because we’re talking and it’s nice to see someone’s face when u talk to them. not because u’re really pretty or anything.

Chris P.: - 10:43 AM i mean you ARE pretty, but

Delilah: - 10:44 AM Damn, I can literally feel you freaking out from over here. Stop worrying, it’s fine. I get what you mean.

Delilah: - 10:45 AM ...Nice to know you think I’m pretty, though ;)

Chris P.: - 10:47 AM i mean, yeah?

Chris P.: - 10:47 AM and for the record, u could totally pull off that other girl’s hair

Delilah: - 10:49 AM Haha, good to know. But if I ever dye my hair, I think I’d sooner go for purple than green.

Chris P.: - 10:50 AM actually yea, i think purple would suit u

Delilah: - 10:52 AM Definitely. I’d be a total babe, ha.

Delilah: - 10:52 AM What about you? Ever thought of dying your hair?

Chris P.: - 10:53 AM nah. but the whole rainbow trend really speaks to me

Delilah: - 10:55 AM Pfft.

Chris P.: - 1:04 PM hey! i wanted to stop u at ur desk to say hi earlier, but u disappeared right after class finished

Delilah: - 1:05 PM Hi again. Yeah, sorry about that. I had another class right after, at the other end of campus.

Chris P.: - 1:05 PM ah, understandable

Chris P.: - 1:08 PM i was wondering if maybe u wanted to grab lunch with me?

Chris P.: - 1:08 PM with a few of my friends! we’re walking into town to check that new pizza place that just opened

Delilah: - 1:10 PM Crap, I don’t think I can, sorry. I’ve already made plans. Rain check?

Chris P.: - 1:12 PM ok, sure, no problem!

Chris P.: - 1:13 PM see you around!

Chris P.: - 11:58 AM hi stranger! how’s your morning?

Delilah: - 12:01 PM Hello Chris. It’s been good so far. Only had one class earlier, so today’s a breeze!

Chris P.: - 12:03 PM awesome! i was wondering if you’d want to hang out?

Chris P.: - 12:03 PM i just remembered prof atiyah’s assignment from yesterday so i was thinking of hitting up the library for it

Delilah: - 12:04 PM Um, I’ve actually got a meeting with my RA soon. Maybe next time?

Chris P.: - 12:05 PM oh yeah, sure

Chris P.: - 4:32 PM uh, hey delilah

Chris P.: - 4:34 PM i was just thinking about our texts? and, um, i just wanted to say, im sorry if i came off as pushy or anything. i talked to one of my roommates and she said maybe u weren’t cool with the idea of hanging out with some guy u only know because he texted you through a wrong number lol

Chris P.: - 4:35 PM so it’s cool if you dont wanna meet up! i hope you still want to chat, at least. i kind of like talking to you

Delilah: - 5:27 PM Hi again, Chris. Wow, that’s really thoughtful of you. But please don’t be sorry! If anything, I should be the one apologising.

Delilah: - 5:29 PM Well, I mean, it’s kind of complicated? And maybe a little stupid. But I’m not very... talkative... outside of texts. I get really nervous talking to people face to face. And when I get anxious, I get quiet. Then I don’t talk much?

Delilah: - 5:32 PM So I’m a little bit scared you won’t, um, actually like hanging out with me in person. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you, or anything like that. You’ve been a blast to talk to, and it’d be nice to chill at the coffeeshop some day or something. Just, uh, be warned?

Chris P.: - 5:34 PM ok wow u have no idea how relieved i am

Chris P.: - 5:35 PM i dont really know what to say except i’d still love to hang out with you? i mean i know we haven’t actually texted that much but for what it’s worth i think you’re great company.

Delilah: - 5:35 PM That’s... really sweet, thanks.

Delilah: - 5:36 PM But I guess it’s just easier to turn up the charm through text?

Chris P.: - 5:36 PM psht, who said anything about charm? :P

Delilah: - 5:36 PM You did, obviously. Clearly, you find my awkward charm very irresistible.

Chris P.: - 5:37 PM LOL

Chris P.: - 5:37 PM Aaand there’s the wit I’ve missed

Delilah: - 5:37 PM Ha!

Delilah: - 5:38 PM ...Thanks for talking to me about this, Chris. It was nice.

Chris P.: - 5:38 PM no problem, it’s all good!

Delilah: - 5:39 PM Oh, and... I know it’s kind of late for coffee, but if you wanted, I could meet you at the cafe in twenty? Just... for a quick chat or something.

Chris P.: - 5:40 PM i’d like that! at six?

Delilah: - 5:42 PM Six it is! I’ll be there.

Chris P.: - 5:43 PM awesome!

Chris P.: - 5:43 PM uh, you remember what i look like, right?

Delilah: - 5:44 PM Of course. Well-set features of an all-American golden boy...

Delilah: - 5:44 PM With the subdued expression of a kicked puppy as Professor Atiyah chides him for being late.

Chris P.: - 5:44 PM oh god, that’s the worst impression of me you could possibly have

Delilah: - 5:45 PM Haha, hardly. But I guess this coffeeshop date is coming at a good time! I can get even better impressions :D

Chris P.: - 5:45 PM date, huh?

Delilah: - 5:46 PM Um, I mean. Appointment? But that sounds too clinical. I just... You know what I mean.

Chris P.: - 5:46 PM to quote u, “damn, i can literally feel you freaking out from over here”

Delilah: - 5:47 PM Ha! Touché.

Delilah: - 9:13 PM Hi, Chris. Thanks for hanging out with me earlier, that was great! Though coffee, dinner and dessert has probably left me two breaths away from a genuine food coma.

Chris P.: - 9:17 PM hey del! im glad u had fun. and the crepes were ur idea, so

Delilah: - 9:19 PM True enough! But really, thanks. I haven’t had an evening out in a long time, and I guess I really needed it.

Chris P.: - 9:19 PM no problem! im glad we did this, it was fun. we should do it again some time

Delilah: - 9:20 PM Yeah, I’d like that, I think. I’ll see you in Professor Atiyah’s class tomorrow?

Chris P.: - 9:20 PM definitely. good night, delilah!

Delilah: - 9:20 PM Good night, Chris.

#choicescreates #playchoices #chris powell #the freshman #tf #mine #m:w #it's a mess but #idk i had fun writing it

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