happy wincest day, z! (every day, every day)

a q for u: in my head, you're the queen of the 'established relationship' fic (if that's a mischaracterisation, apologies, you just do it so well), but if you had to pick the time (season/era) when they most likely crossed that line, when would it be?

side question: what's a season/moment for first-time that you find underrated/unconventional/fascinating?

happy wincest any day, all the days! (sidenote I keep having these ultra busy weekends and there's no sign of that stopping so oh man, catching up on asks is a Task! but here I am! so strong, admire the strength -- anyway -- )

I do not mind being queen of established relationship! It's my favorite fic model -- like I almost never click on first time, haha -- so it's a good thing to be known for. :) My... very very boring answer to this question is that 'most likely' just entirely depends on the background & sexualities of the Winchesters you've decided to work with -- all of which can change a lot even inside wildly canon-feeling presentations, because the nice thing about Supernatural's canon is that there's a ton of wiggle-room to play with their histories and internal processing. There are places you can go which start to feel OOC, but like -- it's trivially easy to say that, e.g., Dean did sex work for an unspecified period pre-pilot. Sam had a bi-curious moment in college. Sam and Dean were alone in a cabin in Wyoming for three straight months and started to get stir crazy. When he was 17, Dean and John [redacted]. With all of those potential options, 'most likely' gets really hard to pin down.

THAT SAID: the model of the Winchesters that I personally Queen Z of Established Relationship Grotto prefer to go with is:

a Dean who did a non-personally-traumatizing amount/degree of sex work in his late teens/twenties; a Dean who is bisexual but of the model where he tends to sleep with women because they're easier/more practical, but leans homoromantic and operates in a more neutral men-who-have-sex-with-men model where they Don't Talk About it; Dean and John were Some Kinda Way (emotionally if not physically incestuous); Dean is aware that his own feelings over Sam are fucked up; and then

a Sam who is mostly straight although doesn't tie his personality to that fact, bc he knows himself pretty well and doesn't need to front about it; a Sam who may have had a same-sex handjob or something in college but, again, it doesn't definitionally change anything for him; a Sam who actually kind of leans aro, mostly because the only relationship he really needs is the relationship with Dean; a Sam who knew that Dean and John were Weird (but not the extent); a Sam who wants a lot of things, but he really wants to want things, which is substantively different.

So: given those two guys, I really like them hooking up very specifically in the area around 2.02, Everybody Loves a Clown.

It's a great moment for a lot of reasons. John's looming presence is cut out, although of course that ghost haunts them still and the effect of his death is a shockwave that changes things massively for both sons. Sam's dragged closer to the family (too little, too late) and turns inward in a big way; Dean's sense of loyalty is cracked in half, both because of John's loss and because of the unthinkable last job he was given, and he's turned toward rebellion for possibly the first time since he was eight. Plus it's just a good atmosphere: hot, oppressively sweaty, that uncompromising sun beating down and searing away all the shadows they used to lurk in. No matter who starts it, they're both in a wildly unstable place and the underlying rules of their relationship have changed -- something that I think is key for a first time to feel legit. It's also one of my favorite places for the ostensible one-and-done that might lurk in the bg of 'first time in a long time,' another of my happiest fic models: that e.g. Sam was drunk and grieving and made a pass at Dean, and maybe they kissed and maybe they even crashed the yogurt truck together (my new favorite euphemism for ejaculation), but that afterward it's put away, and it's not until like s11 that they open up that box again.

As for the side question: since I don't really like first time, this one's tough, but I will say that I'm pretty done with first time in s1. They barely know each other. Give them a minute. Get some s12 maturity-and-shock feels when their mother's gone a-fucking-gain. Get some s6 when Sam's freshly resouled and Dean's so happy he could light up the room. Wendigo? Wen-suck my dick.

martha & bruce 🌷

Percy for some reason doesn't seem like the type of person to own a wallet, but if he does, you can bet your ass that picture of Annabeth from Sea of Monsters is in there. It's crumpled and torn and faded and has blue Gatorade stains on it, but it's there.

dnkinktober day 17: brat (taming)

….except i cannot use a normal color palate for the life of me

i do find it really fucking funny how a lot of the bare bones of a starless clan are so blatantly rehashed from the broken code. what if they use the exact same pattern of "insecure boy, girl in forbidden relationship/love triangle with insecure boy, and traumatised medcat apprentice doing their own thing" in the next arc or five as well.

You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?

(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)

i propose that we put our motorcycling guys in the most boring mundane forgettable profession ever as an experiment because then that would truly bring out their insanity i think their irl job already offsets just the sheer wacko crazy hijinks that their minds get up to like we can excuse it as haha he's a rider ofc he would do that :) but in like a fucking office desk job you really have no excuses but also all the excuses for inflicting your funhouse mirror of a brain onto other people just to feel something amplified by the utter mind numbingly non stimulating for the cortices environment that is an office cubicle

was abt to make a silly post about how at this point i barter with the universe for a bf like "please id take care of him and walk him and dress him up", like a child begging for a pet, and then i think abt how as much as i want an actual pet I don't think im fit to ever have one of those either

GOD!!!!! 😭😭💓💗💖💓💓💞💞💕💟💝💘💝💝💞💗💘💝💟💓💗💞💕💟💝💘💓💖💓💕💕

okay yeah making this its own post because it needs to be said. at the end of the day they are workers doing their jobs and shouting shit at them and acting entitled to a certain type of performance is never okay. it’s wonderful that they love doing it and that it can impact and reach so many people! that impact and their place in the music scene as entertainers does not mean its okay to treat them this way.

happy fall!!

Y'know what would be the funniest cut they could do in Ahsoka? Having Shin, Balyan, and Morgan Elsbeth all talking super seriously about Thrawn. Just a whole scene of them talking about how strategic and brilliant he is, and how he must've faced such serious complications to need their help escaping.

Only for it to cut to Thrawn yelling and screaming over Ezra hiding his artworks across the planet and he refuses to leave until they hunt Ezra down and find them.

still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

a question for writers to answer in the tags. what is your favourite thing to do to procrastinate writing?

oh my god i had a dream that i was constructing this huge convoluted theory that hooty was philip wittebane and it was supported by canon