#what the fuck nbc how dare you
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There's no way they put that 6 foot tall man in a blood covered tank top, handed him a kitten, and expected me to be normal about it
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What I would say to Dick Wolf and the creative staff about the SVU/OC season finale crossover
#law & order: svu#law & order: organized crime#crossover event#season finale#nbc#spoilers#dick wolf#how fucking dare you#you know what you did#jamie whelan#jet slootmaekers#bobby reyes#sonny carisi#amanda rollins#rollisi#they deserve so much better#mad as hell
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"If that's a joke, I love it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."
So, here’s a thing - winter makes me sad. I mean, it makes a lot of people sad, but also me. When I was younger I used to just cause a whole bunch of drama to get it out of my system but I’m an adult now and I’m still mostly fruitlessly job searching and I can’t really just go around starting fights anymore so I’m just sitting in my ennui, feeling unmoored.
Which made me realize: I need Ted Lasso. Desperately.
Wherein, a low level American football coach moves to England to coach actual football (aka soccer) and ends up creating something so beautiful it’ll make you laugh and cry until you just can’t anymore.
If you’ve never seen Ted Lasso, first of all - how dare you? And secondly, start it now. Like, literally right now. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed.
I will admit I didn’t get into it until my husband watched it and encouraged me into it because of my love for Jason Sudeikis. I tend to pick up unnatural obsessions for SNL alumni, I just want all of them to succeed, so I gave in and instantly lost my mind over it. I couldn’t get enough.
During the second season run, I literally had a standing weekly fifteen minute meeting with my engineers to talk about the latest episode and our theories on what would happen next, or what our favorite joke had been. There were MANY heated debates.
Before the third season came out, I made my family binge the first two seasons while we were on vacation. I remember my mom calling me after she and my dad had watched the series finale so we could talk about it - she’d never bought into a show like that before.
Ted Lasso just brings people together, and I find it absolutely ridiculous that this poignant, wonderful, life affirming show came out of a bit that Sudeikis wrote in 2013 for an NBC Sports commercial. It’s mind boggling.
You guys know, it’s all about the relationships for me, and that’s the entire show, really. Ted is unrelentingly positive and charming and understanding and the reason he likes coaching is because he wants to help his players be the best versions of themselves and wooooph throughout the show, you get that, for every single character, even Ted himself. It’s about loving each other and loving yourself and also somewhat about football and it’s just so fucking…delightful.
And I’m obsessed with all of the different dynamics. Ted and Beard, and Roy and Ted and Beard, and Roy and Jamie, and Roy and Keeley, and fucking Keeley and Rebecca! If you need to see a perfect incredible WONDERFUL female friendship, it’s Rebecca and Keeley fucking Jones. Someone needs to write a long-winded essay about these two, because dear lord, I want a best friend like that. Everyone wants a best friend like that. Like, I just can’t with all of the messy, hilarious, beautiful relationships. I want to be part of them all.
Also, it’s funny. Like, properly funny. Laugh-out-loud-no-matter-how-many-times-you’ve-seen-it funny. The bits are layered. And you’ll get something different out of them every single time. Nuance, gang. It’s all so nuanced.
The first season is absolutely perfect. You get to know all of the characters and you get a general sense of what’s up. Everyone is kind of charming and you’re immediately annoyed with Rebecca and charmed by Roy even though he tries his best to be threatening, and you think that Nathan is adorable and you’re pulled into Ted’s unwavering enthusiasm and Beard’s silliness indulgence and straight-man stoicism and Keeley’s adorableness. And it’s WONDERFUL! I’ve seen season one at least four or five times, likely more. It’s everything.
There are so many good moments. At one point, Ted says he’s having salads for lunch with Higgins who is communications director or something and as Ted goes to leave Higgins says “Cesar you later!” and Ted BURSTS back in through the door and just yells “YES!” and it’s hilarious every time.
When Ted and Beard realize that Roy is a bristling motherfucker who wants to hate everything, Ted says something like “wait til we win him over”, with Beard announcing “He’s. Going to be. Furious.” (And he was.)
It’s the little things in the first season that really endear you to Ted Lasso. It just wraps you up and makes you feel warm and appreciated, like there are people out there that are pure and good and they can make you feel pure and good too.
And then you get into season two and you start to see behind the curtain. Ted’s really not okay with his divorce (which, I still think is because his wife couldn’t deal with his optimism? Which is so insane to me and I can’t even, I never forgave her like, what the fuck is that) and in general and they tackle a lot of mental health issues and social issues and it’s a bit hard to get through.
But at the same time, season two has some of my favorite bits? Which is confusing??! The scene where Sam asks Isaac for a haircut - everyone gets a single cut from the captain once a season - and the entire team watches and whoops and freaks out and it’s like, an intricate performance and everyone is just so fucking thrilled to be witnessing it? It’s weirdly beautiful.
Ted and Beard teaching the entire team the choreography to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye so they can send off the team shrink in a ridiculous way? Incredible. When they finally get the dance right, they lose their fucking minds. It’s so JOYFUL.
The episode where Roy finally realizes he wants to join the coaching staff and he makes a dramatic trek to the stadium while “She’s a Rainbow” blares? The theme of that one was believing in rom-communism - to rouse the team Ted tells them “Fairy tales do not start nor do they end in the dark forest” and yo that’s so TRUE - and when Roy finally showed up on the pitch he said, “You had me at ‘coach’.” I cry every single time I see that one. I literally watched it twice in a week when getting the family into the show and I cried both times. Hard.
I think part of the reason this show is so resonating is because dark shit happens, but a lot of really sweet things happen too. There’s an episode wherein Rebecca’s dad dies and they’re all attending the funeral but it still is somehow achingly funny too, even though you learn some terrible things about Ted and Rebecca both in that one. They really ride the line of darkness and light and it’s messy and that’s life.
And then season three is hard. So much happens. And you know that you’re barreling toward the finale. There’s only 34 episodes in the entire series and it’s not nearly enough but they do try to make the most of their time.
Watching the finale season in real time was really interesting though, I’ll say, because the fandom was so nuts at the time. So many random theories and outrage over some of the story points. And at the time I did kind of agree, but seeing it all back to back now in my first true binge, it all makes sense. Everyone had their own journey and some of them were ridiculous and maybe we just wanted things to stay the same because that’s how we fell in love with the characters but that’s not the point, gang. Shit is forever changing.
I’ll never get over the moment when Roy finally relents to the diamond dogs. Or Jamie teaching him how to ride a fucking bike in Amsterdam. Or when the team comes together to help Sam put his restaurant back together after it’s completely vandalized. Or Beard explaining to Nate his background with Ted, and offering his forgiveness to Nate as a way to honor everything Ted has done. Or Rebecca calling Roy out on his shit, saying that instead of helping himself he’d rather “eat shit soup and then complain about the portions”.
There are so many little beautiful pieces. So many things that will pull at your heart strings and make you realize things that maybe have been niggling around in your brain but refusing to come forward because you were scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of everything, because it encourages you to accept yourself as you are.
In the final episode, Higgins says “Human beings are never gonna be perfect. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you'll always be moving towards better.”
And that’s what all of us need to understand. This show will ingrain that thought into you, and it’ll buoy you, and you won’t even realize it.
So maybe now I’m feeling less ennui. Because I’m still laughing at the hijinx and basking in the wholesomeness and the amazingly perfect relationships and the belief. Ted Lasso makes you fucking believe.
#what g's watching#ted lasso#coach beard#rebecca welton#roy kent#keeley jones#comfort show#jamie tartt#be a goldfish
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MURDER HUSBANDS | Wind them up and watch them go (love letter to NBC’s Hannibal)
♫ To the tune of Climbing Up the Walls by Radiohead (with overture by Bruno Battisti D’Amario) ♫
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Wow
So I feel like I say this every time. But Mary mother of god, this was a behemoth. By a mile the hardest vid I’ve ever made joke’s on me bc I’m the fucking crackerjack who decided to tack on an whole ass other song as an overture bc why in the name of all cocks would I decide to make anything easy like it’s funny bc I always have an impression of how easy a vid is going to come together when I get the idea, right. And this duo with this song just pbj. So ngl I thought the shit was gonna edit itself. But guess what yall? Radiohead like … makes some intricate, complex-sounding shit stunning revelation, almost as if that’s what they���re fuckinfjsbs known for
HOWMEVER, the day has come, it’s arrived and I’ve looked at this thing for so long now, I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, cannot tell if it’s good anymore. My last vid, I took a long break so by the end, I had enough time away from it to remember it was at least good. This? This could be visual gobbledygook, mush for your eyes, the equivalent of that shit brown shade you get when you mix too many water colors together.
But likehopefully it’s not and you can pls enjoy this love letter to one of the greatestqueer romances in modern media, which is a bold statement whatever fight me but I can’t think of a queer ship before this in tv/movies where the romance unfolds like any other hetero relationship and queer identity isn’t the focus, which even though I think is important, lbr there’s more to gays than being gay. Like it’s kinda visionary, despite the fact that neither character is explicitly queer, when it becomes clear that they’re in love with each other, no one, in-universe, is pearl-clutching all: EGAD! But Will’s never been with 😱a man😱 before?? How in THE DICKENS could he be in love with Hannibal when I don’t have definitive proof he’s even touched tips with another man let alone been balls deep!!!!!!!! How dare he not have this big, gay awakening for us all to gawk at applaud for!!!!” ?
No, literally every character: Jack, Alana, Bedelia, Margot, Mason, even Will’s wife god bless I cannot remember her name but she deserved better *shakes fist at Will* etc., all acknowledge the transcendent romantic bond btwn them and no one questions it. Well, no one questions it thru the lens of performed queerness. Tbf ppl had a lotta questions about the like probable impending multiple murders which validsisjwh
These are just 2 ppl who’re in love with each other to the point of being uncontrollably homicidal Which like … goals? Like I’ve really wracked my brain and can’t think of another queership that unfolds like every other hetero ass love story. That is to say, where fluidity is more the default, at least to the extent that no one talks about the orientation of either players within the show’s universe. Regardless of whether Bryan Fuller intended that from the start which tbh I don’t think he did but I also don’t think it’s fair to call it queerbaiting. I think he let the story unfold and realized kinda with the rest of us that this was a magical!realism romance and not a crime procedural and by S3 leaned tf into it doesn’t really matter bc the universe in which these two exist to truss each other up like Christmas turkeys aka foreplay symbolizes so much more to me than whatever it was initially invented to be. And if it’s not art, folks, idk what is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ofc I mean the show is art, not the vid. Vid=potential gobbledygook
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youtube
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taglist: @tofuwildcard @narcolini @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc
#Hannibal#will graham x hannibal lecter#hannigram#nbc hannibal#fan edit#fan trailer#also I know it’s been said before#but these two walked so Louis and Lestat could fly#except Lestat could already fly but like ygwim#mine#tribute video#y’know what I realized Xena is another undercover gay experiment#but I would argue they’re more queer coded since their gay love wasn’t confirmed until well after the show was over#but they deserve honorable mention bc the writers didn’t shy away from the subtextual gay love#or spend a ton of time dangling it in our faces only to turn around and punk us …. Supernatural you know who you are
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Mmmm, how dare younger people demand better than what you were given. Don't they know that since you were mistreated they should suffer the same and that demanding that the world treat them decently is childish?
Sweetie, I'm 31 years old. I assure you I am not that much older than the folks making these goofy ass arguments.
Also, I wasn't mistreated! A show I liked getting cancelled isn't being mistreated and frankly, it's fucking hysterical to think of Netflix cancelling The OA or NBC cancelling goddamn A.P. Bio or whatever show on whatever network as mistreatment.
It may bum you out for a little bit, but a show being cancelled is not doing you A Harm.
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6/13: I finally took Sunday off my availability at my restaurant job and it's for EXACTLY the reason you think it is. if I never see the Sunday after church crowd again, it'd still be too soon. I made decent money, but it's not worth getting berated because some bitch didn't want a lemon on the rim of her iced tea. other week I got shit because we had NBC on. "how dare you play liberal filth?" JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP EAT YOUR MEATBALLS YOU LITTLE WEIRDO LMAO LIKE WHAT
not to mention the one guy who left me a dollar on an 8 top check because his fries - which I remade - weren't crispy enough. or the other guy in the same group who threw a tantrum because I didn't put his bottled beer in a glass. I brought him a glass. "no, I specifically said for YOU to pour it" die die die die die die die die die die die die die
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The Call-Out Post {muffled voice} Years in the Making
Did you think I forgot, @godblooded ? Despite my telling you several times throughout the years that I would one day write this? Well... The day of reckoning is at last upon you, brother. I just had to wait. I had to bide my time. And now that you’ve been exposed for the shit writer bitch you are, it is my time to strike.
I made this blog while sitting in your basement circa 2013. After you got me into NBC Hannibal, you talked me into joining tumblr and the RP scene, which I didn’t want to do at the time. But then I got into it. Only my then-undiagnosed-ADHD and constant burnout would keep me away followed by a whole lot of toxicity within the fandom that scared me away from RP altogether, but this is a call-out for you, my dear brother, not the fandom (for a change). I fell in love with writing for Freddie. But, as I got more into the show, I decided to create another blog for a different character. I still wanted to write Freddie, and she’d always be my main character, but I started to grow fond of Frederick Chilton. And there was no way I would have Freddie share her space with another character.
So, I excitedly told you about it, and figured we could RP some ridiculous shit considering how Alana (your main muse) felt about him, and all the silly HCs we came up with together about the two.
Yet you never responded to my requests to RP with him. In fact, you outright refused on several occasions because, and this is (presumably) a direct quote, “I can’t not be hostile towards him.”
Although I argued that that was fine and would even be perfect in most scenarios, you rejected my pleas. Eventually I stopped asking.
Then... THEN... Several months later, you started telling me about this “really good Chilton” you started writing with.
Like... The fuck? No, really, like, what the fuck!? I didn’t say I needed to be your only Chilton, but, uh... Ouch? Very Ouch? How very dare, even??? I had even forgotten the login to that account because it wasn’t being used, and then you spit in my face like that... Wow, just... The nerve?
But I want to help you learn and grow from your heinous mistakes and sins against me, your brother. So, if you want to make it right, you can visit my new Chilton blog, @b1oodandchocolate and RP every so often... Though, obviously, Freddie is still my main and the queen.
Anyway, I forgot to tell you that I left my Cherry Icee in your freezer when we hung out this weekend, so you can have it. Love you!
#Casper: OOC#Shit Writer Bitch Bro#im at 711 u want anything#this is a joke plz dont take this seriously anyone who reads this#i have literally been telling kat for years that i was going to do this and its become a running joke so i hope i did it justice xD
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this is a good call out for the haters still promoting hatred in our world
He a trump supporter...Shout out to handsomeliberal helping out a voice out to the hatred of black people who really want to continue to destroy our world..We dont need that negative shit. We got so much killing homicide around USA .. These people continue promote revenge against united states people to create division, toxicity..how can we stop this WAR USA against USA. Part of it, its the view, its the CNN, its NBC, fake news bullshit and its PUPPET celebritiese these milions of fucking followers listen to/ This is what people voted for in our world because of the hatred of the orange man. Orange man stood up to the DEMONCRATS. It like todays reality where you go into a girl group on instagram, yall follow eachother like besties, but if you dare disobey the million blue check mark, your done and finished. That what Joe Biden and the rest of demoncrat party are doing to orange man. They want revenge, they will not stop till they wfind some stupid shit to twist to media as he broken. We live in a corrupted evil soceity with evil leaders all around. This message of Hope to people out there who need reason to believe they didnt WIN.
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i agree w the notes !! i hadnt noticed the scarf stuff but it makes a lot of sense. nice catch !
sorry the brain fog is taking a bit. i love that u have a notebook for that btw. if you ever end up watching manhunter, it's an ok adaptation of the book red dragon. im kind of insane about red dragon willnibal and manhunter willnibal : i think manhunter will is VERY different from red dragon will, in bad ways, but both are kind of insane to me. i have book fandesigns but idk if its worth posting the content bc everyone is so used to NBC ? but then again i literally draw manhunter designs which are from a movie literally Two people in the fandom have seen so
i like ur interpretation of hannibals feelings for will ! i do have a bit of trouble being as optimistic about it as other people in the fandom. i kind of don't really know where the control freakism starts and where it ends w his feelings for him. you're right that he didn't choose who he loves, which i'm sure made him ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS, BECAUSE HOW DARE, but also so he can play chess with will properly instead of just making him a pawn he does have to relinquish some control... and he can't just detach himself emotionally from the situation, he's in love... but then it means he has to give up control. i love willnibal so much, i love writing it so much, it's so fucking complicated.
also i love the italian nicknames they're so cute :) i love the idea of italian nicknames in general. hope u can kick ur friends ass !! i do love the idea of will trying to connect w hannibal thru languages. italian seems like a good middle ground, lithuanian is really pushing it too far imho. remembers lovingly that mspaint comic i made w will thinking it would be a VERY good idea to practice saying "i love you" in lithuanian and chiyoh begging him to stop because it was the worst idea alive
Hello again, sorry I was at a wedding last night trying to wrangle small children that aren't mine.
My notes have like insightful little quips and then bullshit like: "Fucking monster. Licked a newspaper." Like, ah yes. They're going to give the cannibal glue. No, no they won't. But he sure did lick that newspaper for his weird little scrapbook.
I'm not going to lie, the reason I've actually thought about watching Manhunter is cause of you. My one friend told me the movie isn't very good (I'm notoriously bad at watching bad films) but I wanted to be able to interact with your art for those things because I like your art so much. Also now that I am an unhinged Hannibal fan, he got me to watch Hannibal Rising (i think I told him I wanted my time and money back), SOTL and Red Dragon. My first thought when seeing Norton as Will was "Really? The fight club guy?" But i remember so little of the film other than 'wow, Freddie Lounds is a dick whether he has one or not' and 'hehehe exercise leash'. And then with SOTL I was like "wow, good thing all these characters appear to be the pinnacle of mental health." But they sure didn't seep into my brain. I might try watching them again. But I def want to watch Manhunter. Give me insane. I'm down for the sickness (brain rot).
Also, give me the fan designs. I'm still a partial Witcher fan, so I love seeing the book designs people come up with. I love that for people! I love that for me!
The weird thing about Hannibal's feelings is that he's so blasé about them. I think at first he saw Will, and was intrigued about the potential of being seen. But clearly it wasn't the superpower it was practically claimed to be. After all, Will looked him dead in the eyes and didn't see the creature behind the veil. But maybe Hannibal saw something else in those eyes that wouldn't settle. Like a feral animal curled into itself, eyes darting around, looking for the best and quickest exit. Unlike when he met Lass, who was hardworking and smart, he kept her because of that intelligence. Will had something, but he wasn't sure what. And I think that's why when he says he was curious about what Will would have done with Hobbs when he had placed that phone call, I believe him. Will was either going to be another of Jack's bloodhounds stolen from under his nose, or he was going to be something else. I think that Hannibal struggles with some form of depression, the surface level attachments to his creature comforts, so the boredom is stifling. Hannibal himself is so incredibly nuanced and shifts from "Will is my friend" to "Guess I have to eat him" in the same conversation. I don't think Will was ever safe from Hannibal's knife. At least not until like S3 finale. The issue with an emotion you're not used to is its volatile, and we can see that in how Hannibal talks of Will and to Will. I do think that he joined Jack in helping to groom Will to kill himself, because it would be a worthy challenge.
I know some of the Fandom elevate Will to a god-adjacent status in Hannibal's eyes. But again, I think that comes and goes. I think there are moments where Hannibal looks at Will and sees the God of Righteous Fury, and other times he sees the man who is ruining his life. Hannibal's body language and facial expressions are all very neutral (props to Mads Mikkelsen for that), so you have to watch his eyes and mouth for the smallest flickers. And they are small. Matthew Brown was a fool and a tool, but he was right about the eyes.
NBC Hannibal's past is very patchwork-y but from what I could scrape together he would have stopped speaking Lithuanian around the time he was mute, would have shifted into at least understanding or attempting to understand Russian (soviet occupied Lithuania) before he fled to France. In France he was still a mute. NBC specifically said his Uncle Robertus took him in at 16. Boarding school. So we can assume he learned French in boarding school. Japanese would have been next up, Lady Murasaki and Chiyoh would have used it to speak to each other, both so far from home, it would have helped ease the homesickness. So I do believe Hannibal would have learned Japanese. But Japanese would be tied to another heartbreak (like Lithuanian) when Murasaki sends Hannibal away after he refuses to stop stabbing people. He goes to his mother's homeland of Italy, and eventually settles in Florence, where he learns Italian and comes to grow into the man we know today. So that's why I advocated hard for Italian nicknames. And why I think that language for Hannibal is important, but also an insane field filled with landmines.
Welcome to my Hannibal TedTalk lmao
And I will kick his butt, because I want to write suburban murder husbands calling each other il mio mostro and il mio tutto, and I think we chose a German nickname for Abbie, but I don't remember it now. Had to look it up Jägerin, for huntress. Cause we're unhinged and can lmao
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it’s insane that Hannibal didn’t get his liscence revoked. Like all the cannibalism, violence and murder aside, he is genuinely terrible at his job. Everyone in the area is like ‘ohhhh Chilton can’t do his job he’s stupid he’s dumb he couldn’t even be a surgeon’ bitch name me one (1) person Hannibal improved the life of through his psychology. Hannibal is an awful psychologist because he doesn’t give a fuck about anybody and yet everyone around him is like ‘king!!! cleared my skin cured my depression made my life better’ no!!! He gave a guy more depression somehow why was anyone taking his goddamn advice y’all have empty brains! everyone in the Hannibal universe deserved what they got because the man is a walking red flag (in multiple ways if you consider some of his ugly ass suits) anyway do better
#fuckin hell#it’s just amazing how people tall about what bad psychologists chilton and alana are/would be like hannibal ever helped anyone ever#he probably ate his secretary because she critiqued his methods not because she was rude#‘Dr Lecter I really don’t think that just giving people prescriptions and telling them to go away is helping... are you sure you’re trained’#‘bitch fuck you i am a genius and yes i gave a man insomnia and made him choke on his own tongue but how dare you speak to me like that!!!’#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter
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Hannibal x reader req
What if you got into a fight with Hannibal like an argument over idk what and you brought up his dead sister?
MY FIRST ANGST REQ i’m gonna have fun w this one bye
u didn’t specify which so as usual i’ve included both for u💗💗
TW: Graphic depiction of murder, angst, Hannibal being kind of a dick. if this upsets or triggers you in anyway please scroll past and stay safe🤍
Hannibal x GN!Reader - Arguments 🌷💗
OG Hannibal
Arguably the scarier Hannibal, with much less patience.
It had been a painfully long day, and after arriving home from work an argument ensued with Hannibal over how much time you’d been focusing away from your personal life
“I’m worried, darling, it’s almost as if your boss is trying to steal you away from me” he teased, his back turned to you as he sliced and diced onions into tiny pieces for your dinner tonight
“God, Hannibal can you please just leave it? Youre acting like every man is going to take me from you or some stupid shit. I’m not your fucking sister.”
The fact you could spit something so hurtful towards him is both upsetting and amusing to this man
Theres something almost comedic about you, a tiny kitten, scratching at the big scary lion
Theres something almost comedic about you, a tiny kitten, scratching at the big scary lion
It’s dangerous.
He slowly reared around to face you, knife still in his hand, glistening from the food he was just preparing.
He turns his head slightly at you, staring straight into your eyes and refusing to break the uncomfortable eye contact. His mouth twists itself into something of an amused smile
He searches your expression, figuring out what reaction you were looking for from him
“Come here.” He orders, something sinister behind his calm facade and chilling hiding behind his chill tone
You take a small step back, laughing uncertaintly. This must be some sort of game, right?
Hannibal usually plays mind games with you, sometimes acting scary to playfully frighten you.
Except he usually breaks the character once you become visibly nervous. This time, he wasnt.
“Im serious, love. Come here and repeat what you’ve just said.” He takes a step forwards, his hands behind his back and he leans in. “I want to hear you say it.” He hisses through his teeth
“Im sorry...”
NBC Hannibal
It wasn’t a bad argument, you were just sick of Hannibals controlling presence around you all the time, making you jump every time he came near you.
“Stop this silliness.” He ordered, creeping towards you.
“Or what? You’ll kill me? Eat me just like your sister?”
Shock.
That’s his first initial reaction.
He told you about that with complete trust, he let himself be vulnerable enough to open up to you because he loves and cares about you, and you’re using it against him?
Then, anger.
How dare you?
He feels it boiling inside him, quickly ascending from his feet, pooling and turning inside his stomach like a sick, hot, bile. Before continuing upwards towards his head, causing an agonising pounding and ache. For a moment he truly doesn’t know how he should respond to your comment.
In any normal situation (or what’s considered normal to him) , he would’ve leapt upon you and stolen the breath from your throat by clasping both his huge hands around your tiny, fragile neck and squeezing hard with all his vicious, angry strength. Painfully crushing your oesophagus as he smothers you to death. Leaving you lifeless and limp beneath him as a product of his blind rage.
Then, of course, dismembered your corpse and eaten you whole.
He ponders that thought for a moment, whilst staring completely dead pan into your eyes
There’s more than just a hint of anger reflected in his expression, watching him hopelessly attempt to cover it with his poker face is both amusing to you and horrifying to observe. You’ve seen what this man is capable of, and been an unfortunate witness to the multiple atrocities and death he’s caused. To think that you could become one of them in a matter of seconds is terrifying.
You’d wanted a reaction, but not one this frightening.
Your fear is evident, written all over your face and body as your eyes widen and you tense up, leaning away from your lover, too scared to take a step back in case he takes one forward.
In a matter of a few, long, agonisingly drawn out seconds, Hannibal finally made his move.
He spun on his heel, and silently left the room. Walking away to another part of the house, anywhere, so long as it was away from you.
It wasn’t an issue of disgust towards you, it was a lack of self control. The thought of killing, whilst exhilarating to him, felt wrong when it was you.
But still, you’d crossed a very dangerous line, and the anger mixed with the harsh, bitter feelings of betrayal would cause him to act rather...vulgarly.
He doesn’t sleep in the same bed as you that night, he uses one of the guest bedrooms. Still to resentful to speak to you to kick you out of his bedroom.
There are no dinner conversations. He’ll sit and eat with you, but refuses to speak to or look at you.
He’d explain that you need to apologise, but each time he thinks about confronting you his feelings gather in his stomach again, twisting his abdomen making him feel sick and furious over and over
It takes you less than a week to approach him whilst he’s busy in the library, reading over some patients files and pretending he doesn’t see you as you nervously block the doorway
“Hann...” You croak. He glances upwards.
“I’m really sorry...”
#Hannibal lecter#hannibal lecter#nbc hannibal#og hannibal#OG hannibal#hannibal headcanons#nbc hannibal headcanons#yandere hannibal headcanons#og hannibal headcanons#yandere hannibal lecter#yandere hannibal#hannibal lecter x reader#hannibal x reader#hannibal fanfic#hannibal#hannibal x y/n#nbc hannibal x y/n#yandere slasher headcanons#yandere slashers#slashers x reader#yandere slasher x reader#slasher fanfiction#slasher headcanons#slashers#mads mikkelsen#anthony hopkins#the silence of the lambs
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MID SEASON FINALE TIME! An hour late to my usual time. Let’s hope I make it. I’ll also try & your homework! (Also soooooo sorry for the like 5 super duper long messages I wrote in that Alana/Caro question!!)
Digestivo:
* OH WE JUST CUT STRAIGHT TO THE EP!
* Good GOD I get that’s that what happens in the novel but STILL UGHHHHH
* Annnnnnnd dirty cops part 2737639363
* NO NO NO NO NO NO DONT YOU DARE!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW IT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE DUH BUT STILL
* EVERYONE SAY “Thank you, Chiyoh!!!!”
* “Identically different.” Nods in twin.
* God, Chiyoh!❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
* DID SHE SEE HANNIBAL’S REFLECTION?
* NBC JOKER is. So. Dramatic.
* You’re GRINNING! NBC Joker is waiting for your disembowelment & You’re GRINNING!
* Alana isn’t buying this one bit. Oh nvm, Margot kept them up to date.
* Pause. Did the lighting director change or did Alana get a dye job?
* Are they dressing the up for their DEATH? You gotta look good, I guess.
* I love how relaxed Hannibal is. He’s along for the fun.
* “You’re going to eat him with my face?” Amazing. Stellar. Stupendous.
* “You could wreck some foster homes or torment some children.” Hannibal is here to have fun, Will is here to be funny. And I love that for both of them.
* Hannibal is having so much fun. Maybe it’ll inspire his next dish!😂
* This is when Will bites him! I’ve seen that gif everywhere, so I’m happy to take it in.☺️
* HANNIBAL IS SUCH A PROUD BOYFRIEND! AMAZING!!!!
* I don’t like these bubble noises.
* Can somebody please tell me where I know Cordell from? Because I know him from somewhere. Did he play a psychopath?
* OF COURSE HE’S BEEN BRANDED!
* This is when your grandmother made her entrance.
* No overcooked penises here!
* Who has her eggs?
* If his face wasn’t already so fucked, I’d cut it up even more.
* OH NO ALANA & WILL!!!!!!
* SELF PRESERVATION! Last time I heard that it was a conversation between the boyfriends.
* Hate hate HATE this score.
* Margot’s EYES! Ugh AMAZING!!!
* Yesssss, accomplice to murder time, babes!!!!
* & looks like Alana came to her senses I Guess?? Torture for a bit & then free him. No dead Hanni on my watch.
* Alana: Promise me you’ll save our boyfriend. Hannibal: Fucking FINALLY! All you had to do was ask!
* OHHHH OUCH! That fooley wasn’t too bad!!
* OH SHIT NOPE IT’S WHEN HE FREES HIMSELF! HE TOOK OFF THE COLLAR & WE SLOWLY ZOOM INTO HIM! That’s when your grandmother said her iconic line!!!
* FACE OFF TIME!!!
* Boyfriend to the rescue with his weapon of choice: BLOODY HAMMER!!!!!
* OH MY FUCKING GOD NBC JOKER YOU SICK FUCK!!!!!
* OH GOD SOMETHING CRASH PLEASE I BEG!!!
* LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU, HANNIBAL LECTER!!!!!!
* CHIYOH, MY BELOVED!
* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! I’ve never been so happy to see someone get deep throated by an eel.
* Give us a reunion! Let them speak!
* She’s his guardian Angel.
* MISCHA’S😭😭😭😭
* Don’t deny it this time! YES! THAT’S SOMETHING!
* He said something about the periodic table, so I didn’t listen to anything. I failed science so many times.
* TEACUP!!!!!! Our poor little one has shattered once again.
* Wait, where are all the dogs?? WHERE’S MY BOY, WINSTON???
* “I’ve discovered you there. Victorious.”😭
* I MISS YOUR DOGS TOO!
* He isn’t gonna miss him? You know what that is? GROWTH!!!!!
* Aweee, they’re breaking up.
* “You delight. I tolerate. I don’t have your Appetit. Goodbye, Hannibal.” GET. HIS. ASS. WILLIAM!!!!
* Rip to this insane Lithuanian bisexual cannibal. Hope he has a good time in prison in his sexy glass cell!!!!
* Everyone’s getting canes now.
* The look on Jack’s face. He’s not even that proud of it because he wasn’t caught. This was deliberate.
* Hannibal looking over at Will and saying, “where you can always find me,” like the absolute top he is.
* And this, ladies, gents, and non-binary friends, is we like to call the vindicated mid season!
Yes!! You guessed correctly!! :D
Ok so Cordell is played by Glenn Fleshler who has been in a shit-ton of things like Boardwalk Empire and True Detective BUT I know him as Randall from the movie Joker! You know the guy who got stabbed to death by scissors?
Margot's revenge is one of the best "THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING THIS FROM THE BOOK" moments because she is not even mentioned in the 2001 film! In the film, Mason gets eaten by the boars he was going to feed Hannibal to but, yeah, Margot and Alana killing this prick via eel-deep-throating was just *chef's kiss* and yeah, that thing with the pig... I got a text from Mum when she first saw this episode going "OF COURSE HE PUT IT IN THE FUCKING PIG!" which is really damn weird out of context 😂
But yeah, give it up for NBC Joker! Congrats on being the best consistently-written-well Joker than anything WB has spewed out since- I'm going to stop riiiiight there because i have an unpopular opinion about Mr J.
So, yep that's the end of the 'Hannibal' (book sans Clarice- FUCK YOU MGM!) arc. Now onto the Red Dragon arc, which this entire show was prequel-AU-fanfic-based off :D
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Ok, let’s digest this
I fucking LOATHE the washington capitals. Every single one of them. Their entire roster, all of their coaches, all of their fans. All of them (except chara-but even he is starting to get corrupted). Ive said this a million fucking times and im so fucking sick of having to say it. SUSPEND FUCKING WILSON. I don’t understand how the entire caps organization can defend that piece of shit who has sent multiple people to the HOSPITAL with his blatant, reckless hits. Kuraly gets tripped and then wilson comes from no where to elbow him in the head. HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS SHIT WITHOUT A PENALTY. There should’ve been a penalty from the TRIP ITSELF. AND THE REFS WONT CALL AN ELBOW TO THE HEAD FROM TOM FUCKING WILSON. Oh its “accidental contact” BITCH FROM TOM WILSON!? ACCIDENTAL!? WHAT!? And WE get a penalty for it!? NHL, FIX YOUR FUCKING REFS HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I fucking swear the refs are getting their dicks sucked by wilson cuz they fucking NEVER call penalties on wilson when he does this shit to us. Nbc announcers need to be fired. Literally fuck off. Im so fucking SICK of their victim blaming. “Kuraly was off balance so haha no penalty” BITCH HE GOT TRIPPED AND WILSON STILL WENT FOR HIS HEAD. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO BLAME KURALY OH MY FUCKING. I want him suspended and at this point i wanted him ejected from the league. Im so fucking sick of his shit. The nhl should be embarrassed that he is still playing for them and the caps organization and their fans should be embarrassed too (but you know they wont be cuz they’re all pieces of shit. They’re just gunna be like “well daddys hot and you have marchand so haha who cares. It was a clean hit haha” fuck you)
AND FUCKING HATHAWAY OMFG. He was being a fucking menace all game without penalties so you just KNEW this shit was coming. FUCKING BOARDING ON TINORDI. His entire fucking face is dripping with blood and you’re going to act like you did nothing wrong. You’re REALLY going to be upset with the refs for kicking you out of the game when you complete a hit like that. I want Hathaway suspended too. That was fucking disgusting. And AGAIN nbc STOP FUCKING VICTIM BLAMING HOLY SHIT. “Tinordi turned into it” “look Tinordi turned into it at the last second” these bitches try so fucking hard to make it look like the bruins did it to themselves. Like HELLO I DONT THINK TINORDI WANTED HIS FACE BASHED INTO THE BOARDS YOU DUMBASSES. This isn’t even the first time Tinordi was boarded by the caps this season AND FUCKING NBC SAID THE SAME FUCKING THING!! TRYING TO BLAME HIM. FUCK OFF. These are the same bitches that blamed Carlo for getting hit in the head by Wilson. “Look you can see that Carlo sees wilson coming in the corner of his eye and then he drops his head” BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. I DONT THINK CARLO WANTED THAT WILSON FUCKER TO GIVE HIM A CONCUSSION, SEND HIM TO THE HOSPITAL CUZ HE COULDNT SEE OUT OF ONE OF HIS EYES, HAVE MEMORY LOSS, SLURRED SPEECH OR MOOD SWINGS. I DONT THINK HE WANTED THAT NBC. FUCK ALL OF YOU. DONT YOU DARE BLAME OUR PLAYERS FOR THE IDIOCY ON THE CAPITALS. DONT YOU FUCKING DARE. (Not to mention how, when finally returning to ice weeks later, Carlo literally said he didn’t see wilson AT ALL and he couldn’t even remember what happened until he watched the replay DAYS later). Oh AND the fact that they have the audacity to call this game “entertaining” when the caps are committing dangerous fucking hits that leave our players severely injured. Fuck off.
Caps fans, yall need to get your heads out of your asses. This shit is DISGUSTING. What if a bruin did that to one of YOUR players. Dont pretend you wouldn’t be upset. Now imagine we did that CONSTANTLY with ZERO consequences. Fucking bullshit right. Exactly. So dont go getting mad a bruins fans for wanting your players suspended when they do this shit constantly. Fucking disgusting. So you think wilsons hot? So what. He’s a piece of shit.
And then you have players like tj oshie and alex ovechkin (AND THEIR FUCKING COACH) who do the same shit, then go in front of the media defending their teammates saying “it was a clean hit” “its kind of a joke (that he was suspended)” like are you fucking SERIOUS. Fuck off.
And nhl player safety sucks ASS. They only give a shit when fans start complaining. Ive said this in a previous post, but one of the worst parts about hathaway’s hit on Tinordi is that it will completely overshadow wilsons hit on Kuraly. Just like how wilsons hit overshadowed vranas crosscheck to the back of Carlo’s head. The nhl player safety only cares about getting one player, to “calm down fans” instead of actually getting justice for all the ones who were victims of dangerous hits. Im so fucking tired of it. If they end up suspending Hathaway, they probably wont do anything to wilson and you KNOW IT. Fuck you.
Every damn time we play the caps, their shitty reckless physicality severely injures someone and they never get any meaningful punishments. Their entire organization is so fucking toxic. So much so that they’re even starting to corrupt ZDENO CHARA. Honestly just disband this team. Im fucking over it. And I would bet most nhl fans wouldn’t give a shit about never having to see ovechkin oshie wilson etc ever play again.
And yes caps fans, im tagging you. Cuz yall need to get over yourselves.
#boston bruins#bruins#jarred tinordi#sean kuraly#brandon carlo#washington capitals#capitals#caps lb#bruins lb#rant
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GG and the Columbo legacy: a (pseudo and mostly crack) analysis
@sothischickshe replied to your post:
Rio/columbo is a very important ship that needs more attention!!!
And she is right! In fact, it’s the whole show that blatantly has a tied relationship to the famous 70s-80s-90s (I won’t talk about the infamous 2000s episodes) cop show. Let’s look at the facts one thing at a time.
Rio is a Columbo impersonator
Rio’s “one more thing” bit in 4.07 was an obvious clue, but we’ve been given several hints throughout the show:
Like Columbo, Rio instantly knows when someone’s (more generally Beth) is trying to bullshit him. And like Columbo, he never lets them go.
Columbo never revealed his actual first name (it is known from a zoomed-in analysis of his cop badge, but it was never said out loud on the show). Rio-Chris-what did you say, again?
Like Columbo, Rio enjoys fucking with his target (=Beth) and having fun with it a little bit before making his point. When it comes to actual fucking, granted, Columbo didn’t bone his suspects as far as I know, but there have been some attempts at seducing him from female murderers. There is no on-screen evidence that Columbo gave in but hey, that’s what fanfiction is for. (okay I was joking but I just checked the Columbo page on AO3 and... there are... actual... columbo x reader fics like... wtf.... leave my baby Frank in peace how dare you??? I have tears in my eyes 😂)
Columbo has a thing for dramatic yet very annoying entrances? Have you met Rio?
Columbo likes to show up in a trademark and notoriously ridiculous vehicle? Exhibit A:
Columbo constantly mentions/brings his dog named The Dog? Well, what exactly do you think happened to Buddy?
Columbo always shows up in the same clothe style/colour (to the point that it almost causes a mini-scandal the day he comes to work in blue)? I’ll send you back to the list of Rio’s lookbooks by @mrslackles
Columbo has an annoying speech gimmick and always provides very random bits of conversation to destabilize the suspect? How odd...
Columbo is obsessed with pools and loves gangster movies??? Hmmm...
Columbo makes himself at home in EVERY suspect’s house? I see you, expired OJ!
Columbo constantly whistles/plays on any instrument a children’s song? Let me tell you about Rio’s love for nursery rhymes.
Rio probably squints to mimick Columbo’s missing right eye
It’s been canonically mentioned that Rio’s family background loves classic crime novels. Baby Rio probably spent his Sunday afternoons watching Columbo with Grandma.
Columbo often refers to the proximity of his last name with Columbus the sailor. Whose first name was???? CHRISTOPHER. And don’t get me started on Rio => river => water => what do you sail on? #conspiracy
Stan and Ruby are Columbo stan
Have you ever wondered where Stan’s vocation for justice and police morality comes from?
Ruby explicitely mentioned knowing the show in canon
Stan constantly mentions his wife at work
Speaking of which, you can’t tell me that Mr. and Mrs. Columbo aren’t the Hill’s couple goal
Columbo’s favourite meal is chili con carne. Now SOMEONE needs to go easy on the Cayenne but you see where I’m going with this?
Columbo and GG in general
Both shows air(ed) on NBC
Just like in Columbo, GG’s plot is based on improbable and convoluted schemes that would never work in real life
Just like in Columbo, we have to wait 20 minutes each episode for the most interesting character to appear on screen
The villains get caught my bad, this one’s definitely not on the list 😂😂(Boomer death wen?)
Just like in Columbo, GG’s characters think they’re smarter than everybody else while they are in fact complete morons
Just like in Columbo, Good Girls explores the class privileges and shows that even white collars can be bad people who eventually pay for their crimes and... whoops sorry, I did it again 😂
So.... Crossover when???
#columbo#nbc good girls#gg analysis#my analysis#let's put all these years of Columbo watching to work#look at them#I would kill for a Rio/Columbo scene tbh#that would be awesome#although Rio'd probably go full Troy Barnes in front of Levar Burton so maybe not??
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ey alvadee, did yo boi ever do any singing?
(sorry for the belated answer but i was so delighted to get to ramble in the reply of this ask the first time when i had typed the half of it chrome froze and shut down and then i had no time until now)
yes, yes he did. 😌
When I was still going through the newspaper archives for the first time I came across a long interview from 1974 in which Vic said:
"I had a book that came out called It Could Be Verse, most of which was material I wrote for talk shows, so that I would have something other to take on than my pretty face. Or making up a story about my poodle. I don't sing or dance. Well I can, but I don't want to show them up, so I don't sing or dance."
And knowing Vic, he wouldn't have casually said he can sing and dance unless he was at least decent at it. And then I quickly got it confirmed that he must he been good because I found out about the musical theater detours he made in his career.
In 1965 he played Mr. Darling/Captain Hook in the musical "Peter Pan" (with Ruta Lee as Peter) in Salt Lake City.
A review:
“…However, in points of acting, Victor Buono, as the splendid and anxiety-ridden Captain Hook (as well as Mr. Darling, the father) was peerless.
He, of course, has some of the finest lines and the funniest songs - among them, a tango and a tarantella - but he himself gives off the authentic tragi-comedy of the character as, I am sure, Sir James would have had it.”
In 1968 he played Sir Guy in the star studden NBC television musical "The Legend Of Robin Hood" which was nominated for an Emmy. The cast also included Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Lee Beery, Walter Slezak, Noel Harrison, Roddy McDowall and Bruce Yarnell.
I would consider this one "lost" because no normal person can get their hands at it BUT it seems like the Payley Center for Media has a copy which...doesn't do fucking ANYTHING for me because I won't be in America in the next years, especially not just to visit one archive and as far as I understand there's no other way to access their stuff. Well, their facebook site had told me I could maybe have a look at some stuff but then they ghosted me...
And one television audio archive seems to have a tape of it and this is right now probably my best chance to ever get any glimpse on this production AND maybe hear Vic sing.
In 1968/69 he starred in the musical "Many Happy Returns" alongside Pat Carrol, John Raitt, Linda Michele and Paul Gilbert. The musical first toured as a try out and then in '69 played at the Desert Inn in Las Vegas and was originally intended to go to Broadway afterwards. Unfortunately it didn't because I have read in Billboard magazine that they already had a contract with a recording studio which was supposed to publish the official recording. And since Vic has an entire song in this it would mean I would have an entire, professionally recorded song that he sung. :(
There's a website that claims there exists a soundboard recording of the musical but I don't think I'll ever get to hear it. I mean yeah, there probably is a recording in some cellar or archive but nothing I would be able to find out about or be able to access unless I have incredible luck.
Here's a Las Vegas Sun review:
“Another comedy highlight in the musical is the role played by the brilliant Victor Buono (…) He is the heavy of this musical in characterization as well as size. His 350-pounds plus makes this part most effective. He plays a conniving Washington boss with political ambitions. His song and dance rountine, “Give the Public What It Wants” is a show stopper.”
And the last musical I know of in which he was in is a 1975 production of "Camelot" in LA which also starred Robert Goulet and Carol Lawrence. I'm not too familiar with the musical, I just know it was JFKs favorite and that Pellinore has no song in it.
But Vic got to go on stage with a cute doggy!! and some reviews said he was "too cute" in the role to which I say "how dare you!" and "I can imagine <3".
So overall not much regarding how he sounded which has always disappointed me a lot. I have been through his high school and uni yearbooks too and as far as I know he was never in a chorus or glee club. His singing seems to have always been tied to acting in a way. His grandmother probably taught him though, at least when he was young. She used to be in the Orpheum Circuit. Vic credits her with giving him his first acting lessons and how to have an upright posture and such. She sung and also made up songs for and about him.
He had been in the Rat Pack movie musical "Robin and the 7 Hoods" but only gets to sing like twice as part of the gangster chorus, you can't hear him. And in movies/TV he has been humming/singing to himself once or twice but like in character and I don't count that as hearing him actually sing.
So overall I came to the conclusion that Vic most likely was a good singer, like not great but nice enough that any chorus would be glad to have him you know?
And then luckily! I found this guy on facebook
And now I still dream of hearing him sing one day.... Like, there are many things regarding him I've accepted I will never get my hands on. Either because they're "lost" media or I'm too fucking poor too dish out hundreds or thousands of bucks to commercial archives but I think it's still realistic that I might hear a clip of him singing one day! 🥺
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Planet of the Dead Return to the Stars as ‘Pilgrims’
~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~
By Billy Goate
Album Art by Jonathan Guzi
Every other day there's a story that calls our eyes heavenward to wonder about new planets discovered in nearby solar systems, terraforming Mars, or exploring the smallest elements in the universe. Anywhere has to be better than here, any time better than here right now. At least that's what a lot of people are feeling. How about the power of music to elevate us into vast dimensions of the imagination. One band out of New Zealand is interested in finding out what limits one can breach when the driving power of doom rock is hotwired with adventurous sci-fi/fantasy storytelling.
I speak, of course, of Wellington quartet PLANET OF THE DEAD Last year, Mark Mundell (vox), Malcolm McKenzie (guitar), Kees Hengst (bass), and Josh Hussey (drums) brought us the impressive first introduction to their soundscape and narrative concept, which elicited no small amount of praise for 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), including the enthusiastic Bandcamper who gushed, "Some of the best jams I've heard in this universe!" Listen to fan favorites "The Eternal Void" or "Mind Killer" and you'll discover why there's excitement around this band's future.
But Planet of the Dead wasn't done yet. As many of us have already experienced, unexpected and elongated times of forced aloneness do crazy things to the creative mind. For one, it frustrates, as you cannot express the present songs you feel so strongly about to live crowds filled with spontaneous drifters. The moods usually shift out of sheer exasperated boredom, leading to the insatiable urge to begin tinkering again. 'Pilgrim' (2021) comes at us like an explosion with stories to tell and songs to wail. It's purpose-driven interdimensional doom we're talking about here. This may have been the impetus behind the second album’s creation, so closely after the birth of their first (incidentally, both records feature exactly eight songs a piece).
"Gom Jabbar" is the first creature we chance upon in this otherworldly dimension. He speaks with synth-enhanced vocals (ever so slightly) that's practically like an alien encounter if you listen to it high (gosh, sorry. I've gotta stop leaking album reviewer secrets like that). A defiant second voice joins the dialogue, sounding for all the world like Goliath, Hercules, or Hulkian figure.
"Pilgrim" stirs up grey and purple auras as this groovy sandcrawler glides across dunes and high above deserts, searching for the most fitting place to (re)build the world they once knew, perhaps even dare to dream beyond it. I'm assuming they're a scientific voyage on the run from a restrictive government in a week's long mini series I should have pitched to NBC 20 years ago for big bucks. The song allows your imagination drift on its own recognisance, before the closing words call us back to the shadows.
A dire feeling blankets the air throughout "Nostromo," a stomping little number that's straight-up doom rock, with a cool streetwalking kind of stride. It's impossible to not to think of previous adventures aboard vessels christened Nostromo, but each are mysterious encounters with the unknown, some of which yield new insights into our humanity by taking us back through some strange luck of heavy metal time travel to experience pivotal moments in astral history.
"The Sprawl" may be one of the most dismal legs of this journey, but in an exotic acid-soaked kind of way that makes you question your reality (and your own sanity) before the trip is done. The song is good about building various layers of joy and tension, then meshing them together for some distorted, fuzzy, electric, sparkin' Frankensteinian experience. Where will the spiral take us next? Confident lead gets a riff-enhanced jolt, staging march-like-groove that eventually turns meditative, psychedelic, and ethereal. And that's just the first side of the record! Go ahead, flip it over. You can't stop this far-invested in the trip. Shhh. Listen. Grungy, rumbling energy, extraterrestrial harmonics, and gnarly acid-touched solos are just ahead.
"Escape from Smith's Grove" jars the senses with the unexpected tonal shift from clarinets into a seismic pattern of eruptions that match our stomping feet. This is, after all, a jailbreak of sorts.
"Directive IV" takes the perspective of an enforcement officer who is just doing his job. Mark Mundell's vocal stylings are on-point. For me they compare to the pipes of the late-great Wayne Static, the spastic, growling frontman of Static X. Others may see more similarity with the "common man" grit of Scott Angelacos from Hollow Leg and Junior Bruce. Or even Kirk Windstein's apocalyptic spitfire with Crowbar.
The song appears to be a struggle of conscience between compassion and machine-like order, a tug-of-war that after several epic call and response segments in which our protagonist is put on trial by his peers. The tight grip of fascistic space goons gradually loosens their grip in the song's final minutes, as a street-worn riff storm carries our rebels far away from the grasp of whatever the fucks. That means our (now treasonous) soldier has a second chance at life in the (are you ready for this?) the unknown wilds of...
..."The Cursed Earth." This is a perfect song for that moment in a show when the alcohol or "legal tobacco" has sufficiently unlocked your third eye with stellar riffs and choruses (this song has several "ah-ha" moments). The vocals are obscured here and are sometimes backed up by other singers to emphasize a specific point in the lyrical narrative. The final moments again are slowed down with impactful tonal moments that make you think you're on the edge spying some strange meeting of warrior souls.
Things are not what they seem
They never are
"The Great Wave" pulls you right into its hypnotic sway, interjected with extraterrestrial strains of thought communicated as if by a very blasted HAL 9000, our onboard computer. It's downright creepy when it hits you. Then again, maybe that's what we want from an intrepid album such as Pilgrim, to rope us into a fascinating narrative and invite us to return to sort out the details, several spins down the road. Now that I think of it, maybe these songs are all references pinned to great Alien, Robocop, and Judge Dredd moments? Listen closely to "Nostromo" and "Directive IV" and wonder. A good album should do that to a person, draw you into its storytelling and musical colour. It has me listening to it immediately from beginning to end, then end to beginning. If you wanna give it a shot, Planet of the Dead's monsterpiece will definitely reward your back-to-back listens.
Look for Pilgrims to come to life on July 23rd, with a fantastic spread of options on vinyl and CD (pre-order here). In the meanwhile, Planet of the Dead are letting us join the party leading up to the big drop right here at Doomed & Stoned HQ, where you can hear each track in full. Don't miss crucial insight from the band itself in 'Some Buzz' to follow. Then join in sharing your thoughts and theories (stoned or otherwise) on this transcendental New Zealand metal album in the comments below!
Give ear...
LISTEN: Planet of the Dead - Pilgrim
SOME BUZZ
Just little over a year following the release of their auspicious debut album, 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), which attained more than 35,000 views on YouTube, New Zealand cosmic stoner and doom four-piece band Planet of the Dead are back with a new full-length album titled 'Pilgrims' (2021).
Hurtling towards the forever yawning void within their busted-up space freighter, they draw inspiration from classic science fiction and horror, and push supermassive and megalithic riffs to the outer limits.
"Our second album came together around the titular track 'Pilgrim', which is based on the book 'Slaughterhouse 5' by Kurt Vonnegut. Musically, it plays upon the themes of moments trapped in the amber." So says the band about this new album.
"Our basic concept is heavy music played heavy, and we try to keep it simple. There are recurrent themes in our riffs which gives the album a sense of coherence, but we've experimented with some new sounds in the latest album which we feel results in a greater sense of dynamism.
"Lyrically, we dug deeper into our obsessions with classic sci-fi and horror. There is a distinctive and undeniable fan-fiction element to our work. We actively seek out cultural references, and weave them into our tapestries. Ultimately, we do everything we do for the great god Dyzan, for his greater glory...and for our mutual pleasure.”
Set for release on July 23rd, 'Pilgrims' will surely cement Planet of the Dead’s reputation as serious riff merchants.
Follow The Band
Get Their Music
#D&S Debuts#Planet of the Dead#Wellington#New Zealand#doom metal#stoner rock#fuzz#sludge#metal#D&S Reviews#sci-fi#Doomed and Stoned
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