Gran may be in the beginning stages of dementia. Not what you want to hear on a friday morning, but its not like we didn't maybe see it coming? Main challenge now honestly is trying to set it up so she can keep the dog as long as possible.

Thursday 1.. October 1835

7 20

11 50

No kiss my cousin last night. Rain in the night - very fine morning  and F57° at 8 ¼ - out a few minutes - breakfast at 8 ½ in about ¾ - then out chiefly with William Keighley felling, cutting out bits but taking about ½ the hedge between the Pearson Ing and Wheatfield under Mr Gray’s directions - took down a tree or 2 in the afternoon at the bottom of the coal pit field and a large sycamore bottom of coal pit field and between it and the Pearson Ing - A- rode to the school early after breakfast this morning and shewed the rooms and house to Mr Sharpe who came yesterday -  A- then went to Cliff Hill - but home by 12 ½ and sent for me to examine Mr Sharpe who was here - A-‘s note to Mr Warburton before breakfast being brought back in consequence of Mr W-‘s being gone to be married and not expected back till Monday - above an hour with Mr Sharpe - could not tell why I was in the nominative case after the verb is - did not know what was meant by squaring a number - was beginning to extract the square root - knows nothing of mathematics and not much of arithmetic or grammar - reads very fairly - confessed his attainments were not at all equal to the situation A- and I proposed - his manner on this head was candid and proper - but thought it a mistake to apply to the central national school for such a person as we wanted - he (Sharpe) quite as well educated as Mr Line just gone to the West Indies as a schoolmaster but not so accustomed or so clever at teaching - thought he could improve himself - had lately got his bread by the sale of his drawings - asked what he could support himself and family for per week while he was fitting himself for our school - 30/. a week - but would rather study here than in London - gave no hope for - but gave him no reason to despair of getting the situation - would not guarantee the salary for more than one year - but said we should not leave him in the lurch if we were satisfied with his exertions - he reckoned up his expense of travelling and living at £6 (six pounds) which A- gave him - treated him civilly and with consideration - said we should consult Mr Warburton on his return and give Mr Sharpe an answer as soon as we could - would speak handsomely of him to Mr Johnson - A- looked ill and tired and in bad spirits but obliged to leave and go to William K- with him or at the cascade bridge all the day - came in at 6 25 - dinner at 7 (A- and I and Mr Gray) - coffee - a little while with my father and Marian - at 9 ½ had all the servants in the house up before me in the north parlour Eugenie having complained to A- and thro’ A- to me of John Clarke’s swearing at her and swearing constantly at dinner - In trying to get at the truth of this matter George came forwards to say that E- and Matthew were not honest in the house - that E- made him collars of my cloth and they stole my father’s wine - the accusation respecting the collards, proved - and the wine-business if not co clearly proved as the other yet the circumstances so strong against them and E-‘s prevarication and owning to buying wine in London and gin and brandy in Halifax and the whole tenor of Matthew’s manner such that I said dishonesty and falsehood were proved against E- and I was not satisfied with Matthew’s conduct - strong presumptive evidence against him - gave all a little sermonizing and said I should know what to do about E- the talkathon and cross examination lasted an hour - had had Marian in at the last - told her I meant to send E- away and, Marian said she would send away Matthew - a minute or 2 with my aunt at 10 ½ - then a little while with Marian - finish in the morning - some rain in the afternoon - F55° at 10 40 pm and rainy night

Dr. Lauren Beach was 14 years old when she/they first came out as bisexual. Beach revealed the truth to friends and curious classmates at her/their suburban Michigan high school. The reactions varied, but not many were affirming.

"I experienced a lot of people who eroticized my attraction to femme people. It's like, 'oh, you're bi. That's so hot,'" says Beach, who has a Ph.D. in molecular, cellular, developmental biology and genetics.

Other friends asked Beach if she/they were doing it for attention. Beach says only three people, including Beach, at her/their school were openly out as queer. Instead of being embraced by them, Beach received flak for her/their sexuality.

"One of the other people there who was queer was like, 'You're a fence sitter! You're a switcher. You can't be trusted, you might date men after dating me," recalls Beach.

This kind of biphobia, which perpetuates stereotypes, hatred, and prejudices about bisexual people, is not uncommon — even (or sometimes especially) within the queer community. Stigma against bisexual people stems from a larger culture of homophobia, Rory Gory, digital marketing manager of the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization, wrote in an email to Mashable.

"Since bisexuals often move between straight and queer spaces, they are subjected to both homophobia and biphobia," Gory explains.

Bisexual people make up a sizable population within the LGBTQ community, given more than 50 percent of queer people in America identify as bisexual, according to the Williams Institute. The think tank does research on sexual orientation and gender identity to ensure stereotypes don't influence laws, policies, and judicial decisions. To be clear, bisexuality means a person is attracted to more than one gender. It doesn't mean bisexual people are more sexually active than others or going through a phase (two common myths).

As a teenager, Beach bought into stereotypes about bi people. But now 22 years later, she/they are a professor at Northwestern University where she/they focus on the health of bisexual people and works to dispel myths about them. Additionally, Beach co-founded the Chicago Bisexual Health Task Force, a coalition that advances the heath equity of bisexual people.

Mashable spoke with Beach, and representatives from advocacy organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), GLAAD, and the Trevor Project to learn about the unique challenges bisexual people face and how to be an ally.

1. View bisexual people as individuals

It's easy to lump a single group together but resist that trap. Like anyone else, bisexual people are individuals and their personalities and preferences vary. As Beach says, "there's not one single experience of bisexuality."

For example, Beach is asexual or ace. This means Beach doesn't experience sexual attraction, but she/they are romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum. One can be both asexual and bi, with some asexual people preferring to identify as biromantic. Although many asexual people are not interested in having sex, some may choose to engage in sexual activity; asexual people can have varied preferences and experiences. Beach's experience doesn't mean all bisexual people feel the same way.

Getting to know more bisexual people can help scrub away your pre-conceived notions. You could already have friends who are bisexual and not know it. Be open about your intentions to learn so you can tear down your misconceptions about bisexual people, Beach recommends.

"You'd be surprised by how many people are like 'Oh, I'm actually bi. Let's talk," says Beach. "From understanding the breadth of experience, you personalize people."

2. Challenge negative stereotypes

As you expand your knowledge about bisexual people, speak up when you hear people perpetuating harmful misperceptions. Sometimes we don't even know we've absorbed negative stereotypes if we're not informed, says Mackenzie Hart, coordinator of GLAAD's Media Institute, which advises media, television, and film professionals on accurate LGBTQ representation.

An easy way to interject when you hear a myth about bisexual people is to say, "Actually, that's not true, my friend who is bisexual does not fit that stereotype," suggests Hart. It can also help to arm yourself with accurate statistics to further back up what you're saying, says Madeleine Roberts, HRC's assistant press secretary. HRC is a helpful resource for these stats.

"Barsexual" is a hurtful label often used to demean bisexual people. It refers to the incorrect belief that bisexual people will only interact with certain genders when they are intoxicated, explains Hart. It upholds the myth that bisexual women are actually straight as it implies they only flirt or make out with women when drunk. It also contributes to bi erasure, which GLAAD says happens when "the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright."

You should also push back against the harmful stereotypes that bisexuals can't be trusted to commit to a relationship, says Gory. "Embrace bisexuals as valid members of the [LGBTQ] community, rather than referring to them as 'allies' of the community."

Additionally, you can be an ally by understanding certain words and promoting proper usage. For example, you can clarify the difference between bisexual and bi+. Bi+ is an umbrella term inclusive of people who are pan, queer, fluid, and those who don't prefer labels. Use the full acronym of LGBTQ rather than gay as an umbrella term for queer people, explains Roberts. By taking these steps, you can "create spaces where people are hearing these words," says Hart.

3. Healthcare providers need to educate themselves

One time, a clinician asked Beach how many sex partners she/they had.

"I was like, OK, what do you mean by sex?" says Beach. The practitioner questioned why Beach would ask this. Beach told the clinician she/they are bisexual and, therefore, needed clarification about what sexual behavior she was referring to.

"She got really uncomfortable and said 'deep vaginal penetration,'" says Beach. "She started off guessing. She said, "you seem like a nice girl. So what is it, like one or two people?"" says Beach. The provider then said, “So, what you’re saying is more than 30 or 40 people.”

"It shows how someone [in a healthcare setting] can make this jump based on biphobic stereotypes of what my sexual behavior would be,” explains Beach.

After that encounter, Beach never went back to that doctor. To this day, Beach doesn’t have a designated primary care provider.

“I have to work up the emotional energy to want to go put myself through that potential experience," Beach says about seeking out healthcare.

Beach's experience isn't uncommon. Biphobia may discourage bisexual people from going to the doctor, with 39 percent of bisexual men and 33 percent of bisexual women reporting that they didn't disclose their sexual orientation to any medical provider, according to a 2012 study by the Williams Institute. Comparably, 13 percent of gay men and 10 percent of lesbians did not share their sexual orientation with a doctor.

Providers shouldn't presume anyone's sexual behavior because they know their sexual identity, says Beach. Hart echoes this advice. A doctor once asked Hart, "Are you seeing anyone?" Hart said no. She then asked, "If you were seeing anyone, would you be seeing a woman, a man, either, or other?" It wasn't perfect, Hart says, but asking open-ended questions that are inclusive of gender nonconforming people made Hart comfortable enough to see her again.

"Even if you aren't sure of certain words... you can make it clear you aren't going to be judgmental and you understand there's a wide array of experiences," says Hart.

4. Uplift bisexual people of color

Roberts recommends following prominent bi+ people of color on social media such as singer and actor Janelle Monáe, NFL player Ryan Russell, writer and transgender rights activist Raquel Willis, and politician Andrea Jenkins to become familiar with their lives. The next step is to share their stories with your friends and family.

At last year's Academy Awards, actor Rami Malek won Best Actor for his portrayal of British singer Freddie Mercury. Malek described Mercury as gay during his acceptance speech but Mercury was actually bisexual. Willis called out the bi erasure in a tweet.

Of the four people Roberts listed, two (Willis and Jenkins) are transgender. Just like one can be asexual and bi, one can also be transgender and bi. In 2015, the National Center for Transgender Equality surveyed 27,715 transgender people from every state and D.C., U.S. territories, and U.S. military bases abroad and 14 percent of respondents described their sexual orientation as bisexual.

To ensure you're not erasing transgender bi+ people's identities, always use inclusive language like "siblings" instead of "brothers and sisters," says Roberts, when addressing people as if they're family. This guarantees you're not assuming every bi+ person (or anyone generally) identifies as either male or female.

Taking into account the role intersectionality plays in the lives of bi+ people is important — especially when you're looking to amplify their voices.

Princess, part 12

       [This story is a prequel, set in an alternate 2012, several years before The Fall of Doc Future, when Flicker is 16.  Links to some of my other work are here.  Updates are theoretically biweekly. Next chapter is partly done so I’m going to try to get it out early in September.]

Previous: Part 11

      Recovery--and a start at change and learning.       Flicker thought about the wrap up of her first session, and Stella's comments on paying a bit more attention to the ways other people were already helping.       "... and I just suppressed thinking about it at all because the frustration got real bad when I didn't," Flicker had said.       "Understandable," said Stella.  "Did you consider talking to Armadillo?"       "I talked to her about some general stuff, but she's... old."       Stella nodded slowly.  "I can see how the Database might have given you the impression that sex was invented sometime in the 60s.  And Armadillo was already middle-aged by then."       "That's not fair.  It just that the primary sources were so indirect and coded about it.  And left so much out.  The Database doesn't..."  Flicker frowned, then sped up to check a few things.  After a while she slowed back down.       "Well, crap," she said.  "I learned most of my 20th century history when I was randomly bouncing around the Database reading whatever caught my interest when I was 11 or 12.  So I missed stuff.  And I didn't go back, and made some implicit assumptions."       "You might find a discussion with Armadillo illuminating," said Stella.  "Have you considered that Doc might not be the person contributing the most to the collective judgement of your social maturity level that the Database uses to set your default access levels?  He seems willing to delegate to people he trusts, and of those, Armadillo clearly has had experience with children."       "Oof.  No, I hadn't thought of that."  Flicker sighed.  "Sometimes I wonder about the amount of time I spend mentally running circles around things without looking at what's at the center."       "Don't be too harsh on yourself.  You blame most of your social difficulties on mental differences, poor references, and lack of practice.  But the form of your education mattered, too.  You never went to school before your graduate work, and you did most of that remotely.  You learned from Doc, the Database, and direct observation--primarily of static scenes because of your speed.  And the bulk of educational material in the Database was written by and for typical humans, with all the embedded assumptions that entails."       "I really like the Database.  And the summaries help."       Stella shook her head.  "Not always.  Not if you don't know what's missing.  The Database AI made judgements when you were younger about what was appropriate at the time.  This shaped your knowledge map, which was already going to be very different from most humans.  So do your Database access restrictions.  Information revealed selectively or out of order can harm.  And if the Database can't reveal A to you--for, say, privacy reasons--and revealing B without A would cause harm, it will restrict B as well.  I'm sure Doc must have warned you about that."       "Yeah, but a lot of his restrictions seem arbitrary."       "Many will, if done right.  Database restrictions can and do cause bias problems, but overriding them is inherently risky.  The Database AI has to balance that, and there are no optimal choices, because the whole idea of the Database as an 'objective' knowledge map is a illusion.  The Database is biased by what gets recorded.  Your access to it is further biased, and what you actually do access is even more biased.  But the idea that you are necessarily getting closer to impartial truth when you override a warning is dangerous."       "So I can mess myself up with overrides."       "You already have.  Repeatedly.  Information shaping is one of my more powerful tools.  Cruder forms of it are in widespread use and getting more effective every day.  But perceptions come pre-shaped."  Stella had sipped from her cup of coffee before continuing.  "For example, you are highly proficient in many math-heavy technical subjects not usually mastered until graduate school, and awkward in areas typically covered by early childhood education or peer group socialization.  So when you made your implicit assumptions?  Of course you missed things.  However."       Stella was good at an 'I have a secret to share--eventually' style of speaking that was both mildly annoying and very effective at focusing attention.       "Yes?" said Flicker.       "Anyone would.  You just missed different things.  Others might have helped with some of them.  But no one could predict them all.  Not Doc, not the Database, not me.  So do what you can, but don't be too hard on yourself when mistakes happen."       "Ah.  I'll try to remember that."       *****       Flicker tried to follow Stella's initial guidelines, which focused on short term recovery, stabilization, and 'stop making this worse'.  Avoiding patrols was the most important and hardest to follow advice.  Physical therapy and exercise were tedious, but not difficult.  The dietary changes... were trickier.  Flicker had lost weight from the accident and the isotope exchanger sessions which she really couldn't afford.  And her kind of pseudo-shapeshifter healing depended on adequate body mass.  Stella forwarded some funny essays on cuisine and recovery for shapeshifters supposedly written by a French werewolf, and had the Database reset her food and drink related warnings, with an eye to both mental and physical health.       She'd also pointed out to Flicker that it only took a few early incidents of plasma in the GI tract while pushing the limits of her entropy dumping to cause lasting aversion to eating much while on call.  So when she later started to feel like she was on duty almost all the time, she stopped eating proper meals except with friends.  Staying off patrol for now made it possible to change that, but not easy.  Theoretically, she could eat like an Olympic athlete in training while exercising appropriately, and recover quite quickly, but that wasn't realistic.  She was stubborn, but so were her habits.       She couldn't patrol, but she could keep busy by surveying--updating Database geographical and obstacle data--and doing interior construction and finishing work on her house.  Back-ordered materials had piled up.  Flicker used power tools mainly for precision and delicacy; she had custom hand tools for speed and power, and boxes of regular hammers and screwdrivers to replace the ones she wore out or broke.  Superspeed and robotic help let her make rapid progress in the half days she was putting in to it.  Common areas and guest rooms were finished, and recreation areas, a wider variety of workshops, and Database node expansion rooms were all taking shape.       Making time to talk and eat with friends wasn't sophisticated advice, but it was obviously helpful.  She'd had dinner with Jetgirl and her husband yesterday.  Good food, carefully non-specific sympathy, then after dinner, 'girl talk' with Jetgirl.  Which meant tech geekery--they spent a few hours discussing the instrumentation and results from Speedtest, and Jetgirl's suggestions for some issues Flicker had encountered expanding her robotics workshop.  Reliable comfort.       The aftereffects from the cybernetic interface withdrawal were finally mostly gone, and Flicker's metabolism and appetite seemed to be responding to her exercises.  She was definitely putting on muscle faster than a human could.  And she'd mentioned her problem to Stavros, the owner of her favorite Greek restaurant, he'd gotten a look on his face like he'd been personally called upon to save the world, and now she had enough takeout in her fridge to feed a starving pseudo-mythological extradimensional being for a week.       Today, a visit with Armadillo.  She had promised something interesting.       Flicker had once asked Armadillo why she hadn't picked the name Glyptodon instead, because that seemed closer in size and fearsomeness to her appearance.  Armadillo had laughed and said she'd never heard of them at the time--the late 40s.  The two of them were at Armadillo's house, sitting at a table with an impressive feast.  It was not unusual for Armadillo; with super strength, near invulnerability, and half a ton of mass, she ate a lot, and saw no reason not to enjoy it.  Armadillo was cheerful and a good friend, as well as effectively family.  And at an age of 98, she knew a lot of history, especially the kinds that didn't usually get recorded very well.       The main reason Flicker didn't visit more often was an embarrassing one: When she'd been younger she'd had episodes of severe insomnia.  But Armadilo knew how to spin a story to help.  So when the biological part of Flicker's brain was working, it associated Armadillo's stories strongly with drowsiness.       Which didn't mean they were boring.       Armadillo was sharing some anecdotes from the late Pre-Net era--the 50s through the 70s--when Luce Cannon, Belle Tinker, and One-eyed Jack had been prominent superheroes.  They had set precedents that ended up shaping the way the Database had been assembled.  The norms Luce had established as a practical way of preserving relationship privacy and security without centralized infrastructure required narrative indirection and implication in order to discuss certain subjects at all.  Armadillo was very good at the style needed.  Unfortunately, that and the lack of unrestricted Database references hindered the usual ways Flicker updated her memories, so she was having trouble with details.  But there were definitely differences from the way she'd thought about the origins of the Database.       "Huh," she said.  "I always assumed that Doc decided everything important when he first built the Database, and the rest was just legacy format and historical records."       "Not entirely," said Armadillo.  "Luce knew all about records and careful access--she built her own intelligence operation, after all--and Belle was already starting to convert some of them to electronic form and building early bots in the fifties.  But reliability for anyone but Belle was always a problem, and she didn't have the level of conscientiousness about documentation that Doc did."       "Um.  Doc isn't always that great about documentation.  He gets--"       "The Database AI or someone else to do a lot of it.  I know.  But someone does.  Heck, I've done my share.  Belle was way ahead of her time, but we never found anything but cryptic notebook scribbles for some of her weirder stuff.  Left a bit of a mess after she was gone.  Doc brought in organization, documentation, robustness, and speed, and then extended it to everything.  But the first Database grew out of what he built for Luce not long before she died.  And Luce set some access conditions, which Doc won't change without a good reason.  So don't blame Doc for all of them."       "So the age restrictions are from Luce?"       "Some of them, yeah--but they aren't hardcoded, they're more flexible; we knew they'd have to accommodate aliens and extradimensional beings and whatnot.  It's really a maturity threshold."  Armadillo smiled.  "But I have a treat for you."       "Oh?"       "There are a few things I have personal discretion about.  And you've hit a block involving one of them twice now.  It's a good example of how we handled a few things back in the day, and might help you understand some of the ambiguity.  I can show it to you, but you'll have to put your visor on locked standby or take it off--no unrestricted electronic images of this are allowed."       Flicker frowned, but arranged a protocol with the Database and pulled back her hood.  Armadillo pushed back a plate, picked up a small case, opened it, and pulled out a large photographic print.       "This is a copy of the last known good photograph of Belle Tinker.  The original is in my family photo album in one of Doc's vaults."       Flicker moved her chair closer to get a better look.  It was a group photo, centered on a younger Armadillo.  "What's that blacked out area?"       "Non-superheroes with living relatives.  The photo is from my 60th birthday party in 1974."       Given the date, Flicker wasn't surprised that Armadillo was a bit narrower--she'd still been slowly adding mass.  But...  "Head spikes?"       Armadillo laughed.  "Yeah, that was my last try at regrowing them.  I'd been on a trip to Tokyo the previous year, and there was a translator around during a Kaiju attack.  I ended up stopping it by talking to the big fellow about the relative effectiveness of head spikes for challenge bellowing.  We had a nice talk, and everyone went home happy.  No property damage, even.  So I decided to give them another try.  But mine were only a little stronger than steel, so they kept breaking off--same kind of problem you have with your hair.  I finally gave up in 75?  Or maybe 76?  But really, I'm the least interesting person in that photo.  I'm curious what you think about the others."       "Okay," said Flicker.  "But that goblet you're drinking out of...  Is that a demon skull?"       "Yep.  The goblet was a birthday present.  It would have been rude not to try it out."  Armadillo nodded towards a nearby cabinet.  "I still have it, but I hardly ever use it anymore.  Little call for it, and it's tricky to clean."       "Um, okay."  Flicker studied the image of the woman with red hair, a lab coat, safety glasses, and an expression of indulgent patience.  "Belle has the same kind of 'I could be in my lab working on something cool' face I've seen Doc make.  Most of the contemporary sources I found in the Database were really bad at describing her.  She'd have been, what, in her late forties?  She looks younger than that, fit, and tough, I don't understand what was going on."       Armadillo smiled.  "There were a few that treated her reasonably--but they tended not to emphasize appearance.  Belle did not fit any 'feminine' stereotype back then, there were a number of media bigwigs who really didn't like her, and she didn't humor patronizing reporters.  So it was common for them to distort or belittle her intelligence and accomplishments, insult her appearance, attack her character, or just use bad pictures.  If they had to write about her at all.  That's one reason why the quality of much of what you found about her is poor."       Another woman with short dark hair was leaning against the table with a relaxed smile, but a very clear presence.       "Did Luce Cannon always look like she was in charge?" asked Flicker.  "I mean, it was your party, but..."       "She could hide it, but she was keeping an eye on someone who could get overenthusiastic."       A girl wearing a black outfit was smiling intently at the camera with a predatory look.  She appeared to be around eleven; it was hard for Flicker to judge ages.       "Is that a toy sword?" asked Flicker.  "It looks awfully realistic."       "Nope.  That was Katya's first magic sword.  She outgrew it; it's in the vaults now."       "Magic sword?  Wait... Katya?  That's Jumping Spider?"       "Oh, goodness no; she wouldn't use that name for years.  That's Katya the... Hunter, I think?  She switched from the Devastator sometime around then.  This was only a year after Luce started teaching her."       "Did... What... Why is she waving a sword around at your birthday party?"       "It was a compromise; she wanted to make a little pyramid out of the other skulls for the picture, but Luce vetoed that as unsanitary.  Just as well; Belle said they smelled pretty manky."       "Other skulls?"  Every time Flicker got a question answered, she immediately had several more--and she couldn't speed up and check the Database because her visor was off.       "Besides the one Jack and Belle turned into the goblet for my birthday present.  It was Katya's idea, so she got to hunt the demons, and she went a little overboard getting spare skulls.  Jack took her to the dimension where they lived--nasty place, but they were immune to poison, which was handy."       "...it's a magic goblet."       "Oh, yeah, it detoxifies anything in it," said Armadillo.  "If I ever want to be absolutely sure I can't be poisoned or I'm worried about contamination, I use it.  But it's usually overkill, it makes most non-alcoholic beverages taste kind of funny, and properly cleaning the precipitate chamber is a pain."       "Doc never let me hunt demons when I was ten," muttered Flicker as she studied the figure standing next to Belle in the photo.       "Mores change, and your adoption process wasn't complete yet.  It would have been awkward to explain."       "Did One-eyed Jack ever show any sign of aging?  It doesn't look like his appearance changed at all in pictures."       "Nope," said Armadillo.  "At least not from when I first met him in '50 or so until he disappeared in the nineties.  White hair, neatly trimmed beard, and the eyepatch.  He almost always wore that hooded robe and carried that staff with the magical doodad on the end.  Occasionally he'd switch to a really old style suit and a dress cane--he could do an impressive Offended Aristocrat act.  But his apparent age never changed.  I suspect he was some kind of shapeshifter, and I know he could create illusions, though, so I'm not sure anyone really knows for sure."       "Wait.  Disappeared?  The Database lists him as 'presumed dead' with supporting evidence; someone found his eyepatch and a scrap of robe near a small crater in the Topaz Realm and Doc verified they were genuine."       "Yep.  Doesn't mean he died.  He might have just decided it was time to stop being Jack.  Hard to believe someone as careful as him would botch a portal like that, and it seemed awfully pat that it happened somewhere with enough ravenous scavengers to ensure the lack of remains wasn't suspicious.  If he was a shapeshifter, there could be someone with his memories who looks quite different running around somewhere.  And he had a saying: 'Sometimes you see something coming and all you can do is get out of the way.'  I think that's what he did."  Armadillo grinned.  "But then, I've been accused of being sentimental from time to time."       "Okay," said Flicker.  "If you're suspicious about Jack, what about Belle?  She was declared dead, but all the Database says is that something catastrophic happened to her portal generator late at night and she was gone afterwards.  Jack is recorded as testifying that as far as he could tell, she hadn't been murdered or kidnapped, definitely wasn't alive on Earth, and he wasn't able to tell quite what happened with the portal.  But Doc said that if she really wanted to burn her bridges, she could have set the portal generator to self destruct, then gone through to somewhere before it blew.  He still has the remains of it in the vaults."       Armadillo looked out the window.  "All true.  She seemed kind of withdrawn for a while before that.  Well, withdrawn for her--she was always full of more ideas than she had time to try.  She'd had a disagreement with Luce and the Volunteer for a couple of years over... I guess you could call it public policy.  She made some predictions that turned out to be pretty accurate, and the first part of one of them had just happened--that was '80.  It's conceivable she might have just been tired of Earth.  But then she was kind of close to Jack, and he was pretty down afterwards--and if she went somewhere else, I don't know why he wouldn't be able to visit.  I tried talking to him about it once, and he just shook his head.  So I really can't say."       "Were they a couple?" asked Flicker.  "Database is ambiguous--they at least pretended a few times, but it wasn't clear what was going on.  I assume it's okay to ask about that now that they're both gone?"       "Heh.  It's not forbidden to ask, and they worked well together in the lab when Belle wasn't out causing trouble with Luce.  I'll say this; Belle never showed interest in most men--she'd roll her eyes at most of my jokes--and Jack never showed any interest in anyone but Belle.  But it could just have been cover; a convenience for both of them."       "Oh."       Flicker frowned at the last figure--a middle-aged man in nondescript clothing, leaning back in the chair beside Armadillo.  His glasses were perched precariously on the end of his nose, his fingers were laced over his chest, and his eyes were closed.       "Who is the guy beside you, and why is he asleep?"       Armadillo smiled.  "Oh, he'd had a long day, then a nice meal, so he just was catching a little nap.  He sometimes answered to the name of Chandler Devon."       Okay, now I know I'm being tested.  Flicker sped up.  The name was vaguely familiar--why?  She glanced at Luce again, then remembered.  Chandler Devon was connected to Luce Cannon in some way, perhaps one of her agents, or possibly romantically linked--but that had been a shaky source.  Documentation about him had been really spotty, with large gaps.  He'd been a skilled enough amateur geologist to get a few articles published, later in life.  But his fondness for volcanoes had apparently done him in--he'd disappeared during the Mount Pinatubo eruption a few years after Luce's death.       That made the third nominally dead person in the picture with a missing body.  The only person who was definitely dead and buried was Luce--she'd died of cancer in the late 80s.       There were several odd things that required explanation about 'Chandler Devon'.  Why was he even at Armadillo's party?  Had Luce brought him?       Why hadn't anyone woken him up for the picture?  It was a memorable occasion.  Was it a prank?       Wait.  Armadillo had said she was the least interesting person in the photo.  What could possible make him more interesting than her?  If he--       Oh.       So that's what he looks like when he's asleep.  But how did he manage...  Luce.  Of course.  She was the original super spy.  Jumping Spider's teacher.  If anyone could cover everything he'd need, it would have been her.  That explained so much.  He'd gone more than fifty years without anyone--       Idiot.  Everyone in that picture probably knew.  He'd always had a family.  A family of choice.  They just never, ever gave it away.  Even when they disagreed with each other.       But still, a few years after Luce died, he decided it was time to stop being Chandler Devon.  Could he still maintain cover?  Probably; Jumping Spider was 27 by then, and Doc was 17, with the Database up and running.  But the Lost Years were about to start, and Doc had seen that coming.  No longer worth the trouble, maybe?  How much had Luce meant to Chandler Devon?       A lot to think about, most of it not even about Belle.  But there was etiquette to be observed.  And as far as Flicker could tell, it was to indicate obliquely that she'd guessed, but not say anything unambiguous.  She could come up with something.       She slowed back down--and found herself blinking back tears.       "He looks like...  someone who works very hard," she managed.  "And doesn't get a chance to relax very often.  I'm glad no one woke him up."       Armadillo nodded slowly.  "So was I."  She started to put the picture back in the box.       "Wait," said Flicker.  "Who took the picture?  I thought I knew, but now I think I was wrong."       Armadillo paused.  "Another time, maybe.  You probably have enough to cogitate about today already."       "Yeah.  Yeah, I do."

Next:  Part 13

hello i am impatient and just want to delete the note, so here! 50 facts on rosie!

Personal

1)      Age?

25 - born a month after outbreak day

2)      Gender?

cis female

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

bi

4)      Height?

5'.

5)      Race?

human

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc).

anya taylor joy!

7)      Any disabilities?

She has a bad back - it stops her from going out on regular patrols etc, and cemented her decision to be a teacher and not a soldier.

8)      Is there a meaning to their name?

to me? i wanted something floral lol. in-universe - it was her great-grandmother's name. her great-grandma is the one who raised her dad, and she died during the initial outbreak

9)      What makes them, them? 

she's definitely more of a peacemaker - while rosie may not have a formal teachers education, she's still very good at it, and she uses some of her mediation skills she's learned on the job on her friends. which they tend to not like lol. she's also really good at playing the piano - in another world, she'd be good enough to be pro, or at least have a spotify page. mood-wise, she's always outwardly happy - even when she feels like she's dying inside, she tries to look as happy as can be, or at least neutral.

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives?

in her world? she wants to be alive, honestly. she's already a teacher, which she loves doing, but she might be interested in transitioning fully to being a librarian. in a no-outbreak au, she teaches online while her and abby travel, but she thinks she would like doing music for video games and movies or something.

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)?

her parents are christopher and jessica - both were very loving and supportive while they were alive. they died about a year before the events in jackson, after running in to a group of scars.

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings?

she has a twin sister, hazel, who was her lifeline. the two were almost literally inseperable, up until hazel was killed by runners.

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often?

the only extended family she knows of is her nephew, wren - he's eight when the events of the game take place. the rest of her family was back in austin, and her parents weren't able to make contact with them after the outbreak.

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?)

for most of her life, yeah, she does - life under FEDRA isn't ideal, but it's safe, and they have enough food, and with the WLF? it's pretty good, and the little city at the stadium is really nice. after jackson, though? the cracks start showing, and she decides to leave the WLF with wren.

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class?

over the course of the story: seattle, jackson, and avalon, on catalina island. money isn't really a thing? she's comfortable enough, and is happy with what she has.

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great?

not really.

17)   Do they have pets?

she's between pets at the time of the game - her dog died a few months before hazel, and she just wasn't ready for another dog quite yet. she semi-steals one of elizabeth's cats while she's in jackson, and she gets more cats and dogs when she finally makes it to avalon.

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

her sister. hazel is brave and strong and loving and -- rosie doesn't really see any faults with her (she does have faults, but rosie chooses to ignore them...). if she had been able to meet her grandpa, though, she would have adored him, and definitely would have been spoiled rotten by him.

19)   This there anything special about their family?

for the longest time, it was that they were whole - they weren't sure about the extended family, sure, but their little nuclear family was intact. after her parents die? rosie thinks they're just like any other family in seattle.

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

not really.

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)?

Hazel, Whitney

22)   Who was their first friend?

That wasn't her sister? A boy name Justin, who lived in the same apartment building as her family. They were pretty close for a while, but his family left Seattle around the time the WLF became active.

23)   What is their friend group like?

It's not the biggest - she's closest with Whitney and Nora, but most of her friends are her coworkers in the school and library, though after she befriends Abby, she starts to befriend more of the Salt Lake crew and things get a little more... chaotic.

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

Not... that I can think of? She's not particularly fond of some of the Salt Lake crew,

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

I mean, Hazel is literally her sister

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

Hazel :(

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

....Abby.

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

She did! She had most of her classes with Justin and a few other friends from high school, some of whom are still in Seattle, though she's drifted apart from them.

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

Hazel. After Hazel's gone - Abby, even though Abby's not really that type of friend - she's just the first person Rosie thinks of.

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

Be very quiet. Without the presence of her friends, she'd be perfectly content disappearing into her books, and it's highly possible she'll go days without talking to someone.

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come?

She's.... 25?

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

She didn't like her math teachers, but she adored her science teachers. Oddly enough for someone who ended up teaching history, she didn't really care for her history teachers - they were kinda boring.

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

She was a bit of a teachers pet lmao - she wanted to learn, so she was very good at staring the kids who were misbehaving down so they'd shut up.

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

She wasn't great, but she wasn't terrible - solid B's.

35)   Do/Did they need extra help?

Not really. She ocassionally needed help finding a place to do her homework, or for clarifications on things (particularly history-related) that didn't quite sound right, but that's it.

36)   What is/was their school like?

Ever-changing. First it was in a tent, then an old school, then she was a day student at one of the military schools... She finished her schooling at the new WLF school, and went on to teach there a few years later.

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school?

A few that'd tease her for being quiet, but that's as far as it ever went. To be fair - Hazel was protective, and the other kids knew not to mess with either of the Bowers girls lol

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

She threw a book at a kid in her class once. Teacher didn't believe it was her, though, so she got off scot-free. She's still not sure how she got away with that...

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

She'd fall asleep in her history classes. A Lot.

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

In a no-outbreak au? She would go as far as getting a dual masters degree - one in education, and one in library science.

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? 

she's in a friends-with-benefits relationship with abby, which eventually (eventually) turns into a proper relationship.

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

for something that isn't book-related - she likes pressing flowers and roller skating! she can't skate as much as she wants because of her back, but she still likes skating around the stadium in the early hours of the morning.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

gonna be sad here and say she wants her family back.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

she's a teacher/librarian! she only has two classes in the morning, she works in the library in the afternoon

45)   Do they use social media?

well, social media doesn't exactly exist in the apocalypse... in a modern/no-outbreak au, though, yes - she has an instagram, and her and abby have a youtube channel.

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital?

yes - after she hurt her back, she was kept in the hospital tent for about a week. since then, she hasn't really been in for anything other than cuts and scrapes, at least until the day hazel died - she was kept overnight to make triple sure she hadn't been bitten, and because nora was worried about her.

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

oh yeah. she absolutely believes that the stadium is haunted.

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

She gets quiet - if she's scared, she'll cling to the closest person she's comfortable around.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

she thinks she's a good person, but she knows that she can be very petty and spiteful, though rarely over 'major' things

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

well, her name for one lmao. also loving abby. and her arms. and being a librarian. and uh.... yeah...... more and more of me is seeping in to her OOPS

@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam asked and I shall deliver!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My boyfriend. He took me to the mall for dinner and shopping after my therapy!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Very shy but once you get to know me I’m a ball of chaotic energy!

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Right now no one.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think I am.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I would say my friend, Penny, but she’d probably be even more drunk than I am! So I think my friend, Daisy, or my boyfriend because they both have a background in medicine and would know what to do!

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 

Cool people. And people who are unafraid to be nerdy about things they love!

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I should hope so! Or else something went seriously wrong!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

I keep mentioning my boyfriend but that’s only because he’s sitting right next to me and just stole a slice of pizza off my plate!

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Usually no! I’m very pro sex and pro discussing sex so it hopefully becomes less taboo and we can get some proper sex education.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist. And I immediately broke the tension with a joke that made her laugh so hard she cried!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

 “I’m done.” I was waiting for my ride to pick me up from the hair salon!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Monster by dodie, My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire, Hallelujah by Pentatonix, Rolling in the Deep by Gretta Van Fleet, Bottom of the River by Delta Rae

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

It depends on the person.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Luck yes. Miracles no.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Technically it happened during summer (even though it happened in September but it was still Summer so it counts) but I met my boyfriend!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

100% yes! 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. It’d be weird if there wasn’t. It may not be life like we know it but there is some form of life out there.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I only take bubble baths!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I hardly know enough about them to form an opinion.

21. What are you bad habits?

How much time we got?

22. Where would you like to travel?

I would love to go back to New York and to the Japanese Disney parks!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Food. Beautiful amazing food!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My back. I have two weird scar type things on it that look nasty and I try to hide.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check the time an see if I can go back to sleep.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Any lighter and I would literally glow and any darker and I wouldn’t be able to pull off the goth look so effortlessly so I’d say I’m pretty happy with my skin!

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My close friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Several of them have tried getting back together after we broke up only to find I had already moved on.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

It’s down to about my waist so it’s be weird if I couldn’t pull it into a pony tail! The comfort of it, though, is a whole other issue!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Margot Robbie and Brian Dietzen.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

No.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

*laughs until I’m crying*

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I need music to survive!

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually crack a joke.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Smart, funny, amazing in bed!

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

They’re pretty much all online!

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already out of high school.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m distracted, people keep talking over me, or somethings seriously wrong.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If it’s a kid or an old woman, yes. But never men.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space. The ocean is terrifying.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Food. Or having to pee.

46. What are you paranoid about?

A lot of shit! I’m a nervous, panic-y mother fucker!

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yes.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Nope! I love myself way too much!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Nothing!

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I’ve been wearing a lot of Blackmoon, Milk, and Lime Crime lately.

54. Favourite store?

Total Wines.

55. Favourite blog?

Mine!

56. Favourite colour?

Deep red.

57. Favourite food?

Sushi!

58. Last thing you ate?

I’m currently eating pizza! That is if my boyfriend stops stealing my slices!

59. First thing you ate this morning? 

I actually didn’t get a chace to eat until dinner when I had a BBQ chicken salad.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in middle school for writing a burn book.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope!

63. Ever been in love?

Yes! 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was a junior in high school and I was talking with one of my friends during Winter Formal and neither of us had ever been kissed so I just said “then kiss me” so she did and we spent the rest of the night making out.

65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m eating right now.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Yes.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Neither.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I’m listening to music.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I have too many to list. I’d literally be here all night.

71. Craving something? What?

Pumpkin spice.

72. What colour are your towels?

I have a ton of towels and none of them match because I’m a human dumpster fire.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

As many as possible.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I have no clue.

75. Favourite animal?

Cats.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Dublin Mudslide from Ben & Jerry’s.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Hot Pink.

80. What colour pants?

Teal.

81. Favourite tv show?

I can’t pick just one!

82. Favourite movie?

See above!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

The first one!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls!

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janice Ian!

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?

My mom.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Not sure yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

Trump.

90. Name a person you love?

My boyfriend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

See #89. 92. In a fight with someone?

Usually.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I lost count.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

I love being comfy.

95. Last movie you watched?

Spaceballs.

96. Favourite actress?

Margot Robbie.

97. Favourite actor?

Does John Mullaney count.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never.

99. Have any pets?

A chubby puppy named Zorro!

100. How are you feeling?

Pretty good!

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes, depending on how long my nails are.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes and no.

103. Can you spell well?

Sort of.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes.

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing.

109. Is something irritating you right now?How long this is taking.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

You’ve already asked this.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend, Sabrina.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I hate them so I’m not putting them.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yes.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes.

119. Favourite book?

I don’t really read that much anymore.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

I can be.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Only if you really didn’t have time to study and you don’t get caught. (Hint: hide the cheat sheet between you’re thighs or up your skirt so that way if you do get caught you can pin it on the teacher being a perv.)

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I’ve never owned any so I have no clue.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes.

127. What makes you happy?

Food.

128. Would you change your name?

Yes.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius.

130. Do you like subway?

No.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I mean i hope they like me or else my marriage is about to get very awkward!

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

You asked this one already.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Tell me again about how it hurts Being awfully loud for an introvert 

  134. Can you count to one million?

I’ve never tried nor had the time to try.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

It’s my dad’s signature.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open just a crack.

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Mine is curly and I prefer curls.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

It depends on the person.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

October.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but almost.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Yes.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Neither.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Fuck it.” - Me 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

This is the 3rd repeat question.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The only book I have near me is super tiny and doesn’t have 42 pages.

Post 5: Shoot with Mr.Reza & Pampas Grass

My first attempt to show the longing associated with homesickness. Mr.Reza's place at Mutley. Camera used: Sony Alpha 7ii. Lighting used: Available light.

Short intro about Mr.Reza: Currently owner of Treiman's store, Plymouth. His father had migrated from Sylhet, Bangladesh around 40-45 years ago. Mr.Reza completed his education from Plymouth University and opened the store in 2000. So, basically the store is now 20 years old. He now stays in Mutley with his wife, two daughters and parents. His daughters' name are Tasnim and Hanifa.

My intent with this shoot was not to just come out with pictures but also get to know them as a family, as people. I mostly tend to take things bit slow as that gives me a better understanding and also better results. But doing a full time MA does come with challenges. There's always this nagging pressure to create work and throughout the time, whenever I couldn't, it gave an incalculable amount of guilt. I always kept on feeling if I was going the right way or what am I exactly doing if I am not producing anything worthy.

However in spite of all the guilt, self-doubt and mental exhaustion, there was one good thing about my practice. Walking! A lot of the time, my collaborators or participants lived a long way away from where I live. So, that required a lot of walking and although I could have taken the bus, I preferred not to as it gave me a sense of purpose. Mr.Reza's house was in Mutley and a 30 minutes walk from my home. As I was not carrying any additional equipment but only my camera, it was not much of an issue.

Note: We had just got inducted with several film cameras but I still didn't have the courage to try out one for myself. Although, I had got the Mamiya R767 from the ERC which is supposedly good for portraits as I wanted to explore portraiture, I didn't load any film or take it with me for the shoot. The reasons were mainly as it was my first time using a film camera and my first proper shoot - I didn't want the whole time to go waste. In addition to that, I felt that the camera was bit bulky but maybe with time, I would get used to the weight. However, I went ahead with my comfortable digital camera Sony Alpha 7ii.

After half an hour of walking, I finally reached his home and Mrs.Tarafdar (his wife) greeted me with a warm smile. Awkward as I was, I went inside not knowing what to speak about. She offered me tea and snacks to which I said no because, yet again, it just felt awkward. We sat in the living room and talked for some time exchanging stories about how she landed here. She was accompanied by her daughter Tasnim that day who had studied Jewellery Design at PCA. Mrs.Tarafdar had moved to Plymouth 35 years back right after her wedding. As I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil at that time, I asked her about her initial experiences after moving to the UK. And, it didn't come as a surprise to me that, she had gone through a long period of loneliness and depression. 38 years back, they were the only people from their community to be living in Plymouth. In fact they were one of the first Bangladeshi families here. There were issues of adjusting to the new place plus with a new home, new people and a whole new language. She had learned English over the years and currently is a teacher at the Hyde Park School. Comparatively, it was not tough for his husband as he had already been living here for a longer time and he had work and his family to look forward to. For Tasnim, she associates herself more with this place and doesn't look forward to visiting Bangladesh very often.

After about 20 minutes or so, Mrs.Tarafdar asked me "Tell me Mouli, how can we help you?" I gave her a brief about my project that I am planning to cover migration and integration stories of South Asian people who run corner stores in the UK. Primary reason to highlight corner stores was reliving childhood memories of me accompanying my father to the corner stores every Sunday. And corner stores are still prevalent in India. I mean, back in India, I used to get my regular supply of groceries from the nearest corner store plus chat with the lady who was the store owner for long hours. After the first crit session, I was thinking if I should be going ahead with the topic but at the same time I was pretty lost in terms of my direction of the project. Plus, I was facing a lot of difficulty finding South Asian corner stores without any further references.

I was also interested in food as an identity as food is definitely the biggest connection for anyone who has migrated and are living away from home. Through food, people connect and resonate. There were certain images in my mind which I relayed to her - Hilsa fish, grinding spices, cutting onions, family having meals together. Unfortunately, she wasn't cooking anything that day which meant that required planning. I couldn't even take portraits of them that day as they were not mentally ready. And, even I didn't want to rush things. I asked her if she could take me around the place. This was their home, their space and I was interested in the details which suggested the same. Basically, I was again looking for some connect. It was a huge house with 6-7 bedrooms so the whole tour took a while.

Dried beans used in cooking. 

Camera used: Sony Alpha 7ii. 

Lighting used: Available light.

In Tasnim's room, I found a tray of beans kept for drying. It looked similar to green beans which I used to have in Bangalore. Although, they are not the same, but the process of drying and de-shelling the beans from the coating is similar. They are sun dried and then shallow fried with nigella and mustard seeds, dessicated coconut, curry leaves and an assortment of dried red and green chillies. Bangladeshis however make it in a different way.

I got my camera into action and tried using a 50mm for better quality and took a wider angle shot with 28-70mm as well. The issue which I face with 28-70mm is the high amount of distortion at the edges. Hence, I am not too fond of it. Mrs.Tarafdar then directed me towards her in laws room. I forgot to mention that it was a rainy Thursday and there was not enough available light. That was a challenge! The whole week prior to that day was bright and sunny and it turned all dark, gloomy and grey just on that day.

Her in-laws room was quite dark. I removed the curtains to allow in a bit of light which actually created a mood in the photos. I was not too impressed with the results though. There was a prayer table which caught my attention and I went near to it. There was something handwritten on a paper in Bengali. I took a closer look and found it to be related to a Muslim prayer. Surrounding the paper were prayer beads and a cap.

Prayer table and prayer beads. 

Camera used: Sony Alpha 7ii.

Lighting used: Available light.

This obviously connected with me again as I had seen a lot of my Muslim friends in India pray in a similar kind of setting. Even though, I am not religious, it still did feel like home, of something which I have come across and grown up seeing. I took few shots of this with the available lights. The final image did require a bit of post-processing in Adobe Lightroom but it didn't turn out too disappointing either. Prior to this shoot, I had gone through Zarina Bhimji's work and particular her project 'Yellow Patch'. I loved how she used light as the essential element in her composition to capture distant interiors. I wish I had a better vocabulary to describe her work but he way she used light to capture spaces and micro details is something I aspire to do with my photographs every time.

Maybe the best or I should say the most satisfactory shot which I had taken that day was of the backlit room which I shared at the first. As a photographer I am quite interested in those inhabited spaces as they are personal, intimate and speak volumes about the person. What I could definitely understand visiting Mr.Reza's place was they take home decor and organizing quite seriously, unlike me!

I had spent about an hour and a half that day and that gave me some further thoughts to propel my project. However, it was only Mr.Reza with whom things were getting ahead. I still hadn't received any proper response from the other participants with whom I had got in touch. And, this went on for a long time when I couldn't produce any work at all. I was in real panic. What if I can't manage to include more people in my project and the thing is that the project is nothing without people in them. I had lost ideas on how to approach anyone. There were not many South Asian grocery stores nearby which I knew of. The ones who had them were not very comfortable to be photographed. On Mr.Reza's recommendation, I went to another store near Embankment Road, Exeter Street and chatted with the owner. His name was Mr.Yeawor Ahmed. I explained to him about my project and he agreed to help me out, quite happily. However, he remained unavailable for around 2-3 weeks after the first meeting due to his hectic schedules.

It rained the whole evening after I was done with Mr.Reza's shoot. There was literally nothing to look forward to after that until the 18th of November which was his daughter's pre-wedding ceremony. Either I would just keep on reading materials without knowing where my project is heading or completely change the topic. But, at that point I didn't know what else could I relate to or what could be more personal for me? Here, I also mentioned about Pampas Grass in the title but completely missed out on talking about it. The reason I relate to this grass and found it as a connect is due to it's uncanny similarity to Saccharum Barberi, also known as wild sugarcane grown widely in India. Both are perennial plants which grows up to 3 metres in height with cotton like white flowering on the top. In my language, the grass is known as Kaash Phool which grows during the autumn months and which also marked the start of the festive season.

I was delighted to see pampas grass all over Plymouth, while walking to college in the morning, or few places by The Hoe, Central Park and other places unknown. It really did bring back a lot of memories - of childhood, during festivals and for a long time I just kept coming back to see them, just to feel nostalgic. I even sent pictures of pampas grass to my people at home!

Pampas Grass, Mouli Paul. 

Camera used: Sony Alpha 7ii. 

Lighting used: Available light.

Pampas grass is definitely a part of my narrative as I closely and personally relate to it. I of course didn't have to plan for taking photos of it but just waited for sunny days and preferably during golden hour. The white flowering top looks gorgeous in the golden light of sundown. 

Bibliography:

https://www.zarinabhimji.com/dspseries/18/1FW.htm

49 Questions with Mika Part 2

Part 1

Under the cut because it's very long!

Friends

21) Best Friend(s)?

I never really considered anybody a best friend, I don't even consider the kids I lived with in the orphanage acquaintances, let alone friends. Though recently I made a friend in school, her name is Yui Komori and she's lovely!

22) Who was their first friend?

Hmm I guess my first ever friend was a blue bird called River! She was the orphanage pet, and not to brag or anything but I was cleary her favorite out of all the kids, I didn't have any friends at the orphanage and my experience there was pretty bland but River made it the experience more enjoyable! She always was quiet little thing but if i'm around, I'll never get her to shut up, which really annoyed the orphanage kids heh. When I was bought by the Ayashii's, apart of me was upset because I'll never see River again but the following day, she was in my bedroom window, waiting for my retun! I was just a kid back then so I didn't question how she got there, she wasn't an extremely good flyer to begin with and even if she was, she was still a baby, and even now, I sometimes see a glimpse of her when i'm by myself but it's probably my imagination haha.

23) What is their friend group like?

I don't really have a friend group, sometimes I hang out with Yui but she's often being dragged around with the Sakamaki's brothers. Master Shin has made it very clear that if he catches me talking casually to someone of a lower breed, I'll be severely punished! So because of that I can't interact with Yui as much as I want to.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

I wouldn't say I hurt a friend, more like a friend has hurt me, though I guess we were never really friends to begin with…

27) Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

*blushes* I-I consider Master Shin one of my closest friends, even if he doesn't see it that way, b-but recently I want more than that…is that what you consider a c-crush? *blush intensifies*

28) Do they share classes with good friends?

Well Yui is a year above me, so we don't share the same classes together, the only time we see each other is in the hallways, lunch or sometimes cooking class. However I do share a class with Subaru-kun, though he probably doesn't see me as a friend, let alone acquaintance, we sit next to each other and he's often fun to tease!

29)  Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

The bathroom. I don't like crying in front of other people because I don't want them to worry over me, I don't want them to pity me, so whenever I feel like I need to cry, I do it in a private area.

30) What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

That's a good question…my oldest friend, River, has been with me since I was a child, I couldn't imagine what it would be like without her being there to keep me company but then again, River, doesn't live with me anymore and I'm doing fine without her but I do miss her a lot…

School

31)  What grade are they in? If they arent in school, how come?

Even though im 17 years old, I'm in my first year! I didn't get a proper education most kids my age should get, so because of that I got bumped down a grade, they were actually considering dropping me to second year of Middle School, if Master Carla didn't get involve, I don't where I'll be at…

32) Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

…… I'll be lying if I said that I enjoy all my teachers, there are just some teachers/subjects that I do not care for nor like. Since i'm usually pulled into Master Shin shenanigans, i'm on thin ice with some teachers.

33)  Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

I try my best to listen to the teachers but when you're sitting next to someone like Subaru-kun, it's gets kinda hard to listen to the lecture when your partner is angrily tearing up the test sheets hehe

34) Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

I-i mean, I like to think that i'm a good student, j-just not academically! While I enjoy most subjects, i'm awful in some of them, if it wasn't for Master Carla, strict but much needed teaching methods, I'll probably be a straight C student.

35) Do/Did they need extra help?

Yeah, I guess you could say that, usually Master Carla will tutor me, and while I do appreciate his help his teaching methods can be harsh at times, I remember the first time, I got a question wrong on a test after months of studying, I will never forget what happened next *shivers*!

37) Do/Did they have bullies in school?

There's the occasional catty group of girls, who sometimes spread snarky remarks and rumors about me and Master Shin, Master Shin would be very angry at me, if he knew I was getting worked up about false rumors, so I tried to not let their words get to me.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

Well some of the girls could be a bit catty towards me, mostly it's because of how close I am with the Tsukinami brothers, especially Master Shin. It doesn't really bother me but sometimes the girls cross the line, and try to go physical on me, so when that happens, I usually revert to self defense. I know violence isn't always the answer but sometimes I can't help it, when fists are flying, my initial default thought process is to retort back as well! It's stuck in my brain at this point!

39) Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

Many times! Master Shin is usually the cause of this or is somehow involve but there was this one time I was running late to class,

40) How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

I'm planning to finish all three years of school! I never went to school when I was a child but now that I am attending classes, I could learn all new things that I never experience or seen before! I want to learn more and more about everything and anything, and my first step to accomplish that goal is by attending school, not like I'm complaining though!

Other

41)  Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? 

*blushes* I-i mean I do have a slight c-crush on someone, b-but dating never crossed my mind!

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

Because i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's, I don't have much free time but whenever I have the time, I usually practice my knitting skills! Master Shin, always teases for being interested in a 'lame hobby' but I spotted three sweaters that I knitted, in his closets, that he previously called ugly, so its safe to assume he really does like my craft *giggles*

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

For a long time, what I really wanted in life was freedom but now that I have that, I don't need anything else.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

Well I don't know if it classify as a job but i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's household. I don't really consider myself as a maid or servant, because I don't really do anything servant-like, all I really do is just help out the Tsukinami brothers with minor tasks, such as grocery shopping. I think the familiars are more useful and servant-like than I am.

45)   Do they use social media?

Heh I'm not really tech-savvy as the kids these days are, so not really! (Oh my gosh Mika you're not even that old)

46)  Have they ever been in the hospital?

When I was in a slave of the Ayashii's I did have some severe bruises that did needs medical attention but I wasn't given any, so no I never been to a hospital and I don't think I ever want to, some of the stories I hear about hospitals don't sound really pleasing!

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

Well I mean, I guess you could say, i'm already living with them!

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Well whenever I feel overwhelmed, I-i usually go to Master Shin *blushes*, he doesn't comfort me or anything, just knowing that's he's there, makes me feel better *blushing intensifies*. Sometimes if he's in a really good mood, I'm allowed to hold him when he's in his wolf form but those times are really rare! H-however if Master Shin is in a bad mood or if he's the cause of my stress than I usually take a walk in the forest, being cooped up all day inside, really gets to me at times so whenever I have the opportunity to go outside, I'll take it, I've find it whenever i'm surrounded by nature, all my nerves go fade away. Sometimes I have a familiar accompany me, just so I can have somebody to keep me company and other times Master Shin would go with me as well.

49) Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

I would like to believe that i'm a good person, but I know i'm not, I have done some terrible things to other people and I very deeply regret the things that I did so the best description that fits me is morally grey.

Saturday 2 December 1837

9 ¾

2

fine but rather hazy morning F38° at 10 ½ and went down to breakfast – breakfast in about ½ hour – A- had SW. evidently much hurt about the Greece fields drain water to be turned into Mr. Bray’s dam by order of the Towns trustees – almost in tears on seeing his own neglect in not getting up a proper opposition against the order – spoke to him about Lee Lane – to inquire of Mr. Parker – and mentioned Mrs. Machans’ farm – SW. thought he could manage getting it bought for me at the auction – had Hinton – very much wanted £10 in a/c but having no order from Mr. Harper, I could not pay the money – had not taken any portion of railroad – I mentioned wanting a little walling at Northgate – turning the top part of the ground into gardens – H- would much like a little potato shop opposite Naylors’ gin shop at the end of my ground – had Mr. Sidney Smith who came the other day about the Stump X Inn  - SW. said this morning he would not suit – would not stay – he bade £130 for the Inn and land – said I was afraid he had no chance for the place and .:. begged him not to trouble himself further about it – then at 12 ½ came back to A- and sat with her till 2 10 when had  a Mr. John Bakes of the crown and anchor Inn (rent £20 a year) Bramley near (in the borough of) Leeds – referred for character to the revered Samuel Redhead vicar of Bramley and to Mr. Wilson of Bramely Grocer and common councilman of Leeds – Mr. Bakes has property – is a land surveyor – himself wife and one son aetatis 19 well educated and active and fond of the publican line – the wife a Holdsworth of near Wyke and educated at Wyke school – the man about 40+ looked steady and respectable and at last bade £30 for the Inn and 2 cottages for the first 2 years to be afterwards raised not more than £10 – my answer to be given on the 16th instant and to wait for it till the 18th instant – said if I let it before this time I would let him know – then called away for above ½ hour to Robert Mann + 5 at the Low fish pond – preparing for shifting stuff from near the wells – then back to A- at 3 ½ for 10 minutes she being off to Cliff Hill she gave me twenty pounds – then out again – Joseph Mann waiting for me about the platform walling and more stone for airgate pit – took him with me to Tathams’ (Stump X Inn cottages) said I had an application for the cottage – the poor man Tatahm very poorly – going off in a decline – said he would give me an answer in a week’s time – (T.G. spoke for the cottage on Saturday for his quarry man – has taken a quarry at Northowram) then walked forward with JM. to Wellroyde – the water head hold or water level runs in a line from Airgate  pit 20 yards eastwards (towards Godley) of Wellroyde barn-end – then to Airgate pit JM. had staked water level, and rise end – does not see that we need endanger the Spiggs water – the spiggs company by letting the mill water run down into the old coal works to plague me have done so much hurt to themselves that they have lost 100 yards of hold – have only about 70 instead f 100 yards of coal that they can get –in fact very little to get – but of a bit of upper bed that sometimes 2 colliers and sometimes 2 colliers and a lad got in a year they have cleared £300. Holts and Sam Holdsworth have now come to terms – his coal for which they are taken in partners is valued at per DW. lower bed £80 upper bed £40 all which amounts to £200 a year – for 20 years – they have no power to sell but to one another – if they do not pay, they forfeit all – and after paying this £200 a year then they share the remaining profits – asked JM. about what Holt (James) would have to do in my colliery agency – why! he would not have to go into the bottom more than once in 3 months – would not have ½ as much to do as the bottom steward or as book keeper who I said I supposed would want £100 a year – I then made out that £50 a year might be enough for my agent – and it seemed JM. could not get paid for measuring A-‘s coal at Illingworth’s – H- told him he had not sent in the bill – Query. Is it not paid by A-? said I would inquire and tell JM. how it was – I could not get him to say what proportion he ought to have per load – he said if paid in that way at 1st, it would a poor job – said I would willingly pay a fixed sum if that would be better – came in at 6 – had Blythe – paid him up tonight 8 weeks and 4 day £17.6.8 according to Mr. Harper – said I was sure he (B-) had done the best he could for – sorry he had had such rough work – hoped he would not be the worse for it, and gave him a sovereign over – then had Parkinson for £10 in a/c Little marsh – obliged to send moorhouse away unpaid (£13+) till Wednesday next – then paid Sam Booth and Abraham Greenwood (under gardener and occasional ditto) – settled accounts – dressed – dinner at 7 5 in ¾ hour – then sometime whistling and musing in the tower top room – then looking over great plan and plan of Shibden respecting the coal and calculating till 10 ½ - must buy Mrs. Machan’s farm and Dove house even if I sell yew trees or something – perhaps I had better get no coal at present (for fear of the loosing spiggs letting off water from the meer – from airgate pit I have 46+ acres of coal loose all on the upper side of the road – and having a barrier along my Incline of 16 acres I have 30 acres to get safely? had just written so far at 11 ¼ pm at which hour F35° - fine day – JM. said Allen car pit must be 30 yards+ deep – if a throw between airgate pit and allen car pit, it must be a throw-up he thought – sat making memoranda and reading the newspaper and looking over Adcocks’ engineers pocket book that came tonight, till after one

Another Columbus Girls Academy testimony

In response to the recent response from the owners: I sincerely hope the program has changed in the 8 years since I graduated. I know many upgrades were being made to the campus around the time that I graduated, and I hope they have improved the quality of life for the students there. I made many memories at Teen Challenge, not all of them negative, and am still in touch with many of the girls who went through the program with me. I would like to clarify to readers, after receiving messages from several concerned people who read my review, that no abuse of a physical or sexual nature took place. I appreciate that this program has had a positive impact on many lives, but the following review is a report of my experiences back in 2007-2008:

I was sent to Teen Challenge Columbus Girls' Academy when I was 16. It is connected with an extremely Pentacostal Christian church, with several- hour church services, where alarming practices like prayer in tongues and people writhing on the floor occurred.We were forced to eat whatever they gave us, even if it was spoiled (I gained 40 lbs against my will), had to request bathroom breaks (at least one girl urinated on herself in public), had our 10 minute every 2 week phone calls listened to and our mail read. We were a free labour force and landscaped the campus in sweltering heat. We were sometimes denied showers and our bunk beds were made of cardboard with only thin foam on top. When a girl got sick, she was often told to just drink water and ignored until she literally could not stand. We were denied a proper high school education (I had to get a GED when I finally got out at 18 because my high school at home wanted me to start over. I was an A and B student), and told on a daily basis that we were nothing without the program's teachings while our real issues, be they emotional trauma, addiction, etc, were rarely, if ever, addressed in counselling.

Awareness needs to be raised about these programs. They are for profit ($30,000 at the time I attended, which was my parents' entire college savings for my sister and I) and caused nothing but damage in my case. Three of my friends from that place have died since leaving. One was allegedly killed over drugs and the other two committed suicide. A majority of the girls I was in with had kids before age 18 once they got out. Some turned to drugs, and a few became strippers. These places are exploitation disguised as a solution to help a "troubled" teen. While the program cannot be blamed directly for these outcomes, the number of these cases is disturbingly high compared to any other group of people I've known.

I'm 25 and have my life together, but it took years to recover and I still have frequent nightmares. Please think very hard before sending your child here. You will possibly be condemning her to years of emotional trauma and could very well end up destroying your relationship with her. It has taken years to rebuild my relationship with my family, and I know that, throughout my stay in the program, they were told to mistrust me so that they would not let me come home, even when I told them on visits about my experiences. I know your family situation might seem unmanageable, and that you might be scared for your daughter, but please consider very carefully before doing something as extreme as sending her away. There are other options.

⏰ 31

The mirror was telling her she looked great, the robes brushed the tips of her shoes, and her hair was perfectly curled at the nape of her neck, held back with a string of polished jewels and blown glass, each bead sparkling with some magic that Helle had twirled into its molten core. Penny’s fingers were heavy with gold bands wrapped around her thumbs, the familiar runic markings of Hector’s practice, while Eudora’s leatherwork shone from the holster that sat on her waist. There even several dragon scales pressed into the leather of her boots, their shined as she walked down the marble hallway and people turned to her, eyes widening and whispers following her wake. Attie was just to her left and back, eyes wary.

They’d never been this deep into the Ministry before now, at least they weren’t allowed to be and as Penny stopped in the holding Attirum, jaw clicking, fingers flexing she couldn’t help but feel like this was wrong.

���You’re doing fine Penny,�� Attie’s voice was soft in her ear even as she brushed lint from her spotless coat before wandering fingers went to tuck a braid back into its metal clip. 

“It should be you,” her voice caught, low and in her throat. She could see Major Bones from the corner of her eye, looking sweet as when they were young and running the streets from opposite ends, “you’re the one that does this sorts of things--”

“Yeah, for our family, not for everyone. Face it, Penny, you’re the only one for this job.”

“There are so many better people that can do this than me,” there was a vice around her neck she was sure, the robes far too heavy to really be made of cloth. “We both know this could be a trap.”

“The Ministry wants a seat for the Werewolves on the Wizagmont, just as they asked the Veelas and the Goblins and the Vampires. Everyone is sending an official, and guess what Penny, you finally get a chance to do something for us.”

She wanted to pace, but the sound of her boots on marble only set her further on edge, her tongue finding that empty slot where her tooth used to be.

“They pardoned everyone three years ago Penny.”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Aren’t you, if you go in there they won’t know the brilliant voice of reason, or our tactician or the person who worked so hard to quell the violence. They’ll see the girl from their wanter posters, and you’re terrified of that.” Attie’s voice signaled a challenge, one Penny didn’t quite feel ready to face. 

“Voice of reason, people got killed, I nearly got killed. Joey--” she stopped herself, taking in a deep breath.

“Joey knew the risks and the rewards.”

Penny blinked before watching as the clock struck its time. Attie’s mouth shut, her fingers tangling in blonde locks, tugging and scratching at her scalp.

“I was supposed to help you calm down, but I’ve only gone and made you more nervous haven’t I?” there was no sheepish expression, no sign she felt guilty over it. It wouldn’t do for the leader of a Pack to show weakness. 

Penny shrugged and watched as the holding Attirum’s doors opened, and Major Bones gestured for her to enter, the air was thin down here, made thinner by the scent of ink and wet stone threatening to clog her pores. 

The Ravenclaw didn’t bother with a goodbye to Attie as she stepped through the doors.

Across the way she recognized the Half-Giant, he was from the far North, they’d met once or twice before at various Revolution meet-ups. Back when there was a Revolution to fight for. She nodded to him, Arthur Crakstone was an intelligent person, soft of voice, and an excellent Healer. She didn’t wonder why the Giants had picked him as their Representative, and he waggled his fingers when she caught his eyes.

Penny didn’t recognize the Veela, but like all Veela she knew her scent was unmistakably and cloying. It was like holding a bundle of roses to her nose and forcing her to sniff. The Ravenclaw sneezed, the insistent aura of the Veela largely unaffecting her, unlike others in the room.

The vampire she knew, Lenora Turnbill was a few hundred years old by now, eternally 23, had a penchant for dramatics. Penny had no idea how they could send her in, Turnbill was famous for making the dramatic a proper school play with her as the star. 

The goblin was a banker, he been handling the Hawkins account since she was a child. Always had some candy for them even though she was well past candy jar days. He waved joyfully at her, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a lovely person dressed finely in mauve robes and an argyle sweater vest.

The Wizagmont loomed large above them, in their circular chairs, with five seats scattered through like an Alchemy array. There were so many familiar faces, old seats of power handed from pureblood whelp to the next, overwhelming in their scope and power. Penny smiled at the Minister who didn’t smile back, expected of a leader who was allowing such breaching of British Wizarding Conduct. 

“Please for the record state your names, education, and affiliation.”

“Arthur Crakstone, I am a Hogwarts Alumni from Slytherin House,” there was a low mummer, “and I am from the Crakstone Tribe to the Far North and stand before the Wizagmont as the elected political figurehead for the Giants.” There was a slow clap as a set of stairs appeared to his left and the Minister motioned for him to take his seat.

There was a flash of light from the other end of the circle before the Turnbill curtseyed, the flair of her scarlet dress flowing about in a magicked breeze.

“I am Lenora Turnbill, your new Vampiric resident, I do hope we can come to many conclusions and labors of love over the world of magical law together.” The stairs appeared which she rose up to like an old Hollywood actress, and Penny began to sweat. She hardly noticed the Veela -- Justine? -- go up, nor the goblin banker until all eyes were on her and she took a step forward. 

“My name is Persephone Hawkins,” there was a titter from the crowd, “some of you already know me, as I’ve stood here before years ago--”

“Minister is this legal? She was a wanted criminal for years.” The busybody scowled down at her, box braids pulled back with silver beads and Penny’s nose twitched.

“I was elected at the Summer Werewolf Meet by the 9 Great Clans of England, Ireland, Wales and Scotland. My criminal records have been dropped, thanks to our Minister,” she inclined her chin but no less than an inch, she didn’t dare drop her eyes from the Wizagmont. “I represent the interests, culture, and history of the Werewolf Clans and I am a halfbreed.”

The stairs did not unfurl.

“Persephone Hawkins,” the voice came from the far right, she turned her head to look at the elderly man, “you have stood accused of starting an Uprising in the summer of 2021.”

“I have.”

“Yet, you have been elected to represent your people here, in the greatest office of power.”

Penny wanted to scream that she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to leave her life at Edale, her books written under a false name, her slow walks by the river with Joey in tow. She didn’t want to keep fighting anymore. Didn’t she deserve to pass the torch onto someone younger, someone a little less smudged by the actions of the past. She wanted her cottage and her flannel shirt, she wanted Joey snuffling against her neck and the sound of her cousin’s kids at her door begging for cookies. 

Penny didn’t want to be here.

“I have been elected, by nearly twenty packs, nine clans, and over 600 people to represent who we are. We are wolves, feared by greater magical society, raised to believe we are nothing but monsters and fiends, terrifying creatures in the night. Just as they were raised to think about my fellow Vampires and to believe the stupidity of Giants, the greed of the Goblins or the demonic allure of the Veela. They chose me, Persephone Hawkins, Ravenclaw to represent them, their interest, our laws, our beliefs, here on this floor and in those seats.” Her name had floated above the fire, in beautiful blue cursive. The moon was high in the air as Joey gripped her arm tightly. The Hawkins were all howling, beating out a frantic beat on drums while the other Clans began to dance. They had chosen her, and Penny felt something like shame and horror building in her gut. 

The Minister didn’t look at her, just raised their hand and the stairs unfurled to her seat.

“Then climb Peer Hawkins, if your people place such faith in your ability to lead then we must of course, according to the Act of Sovereignty of Beingfolk, must allow this.”

Penny climbed the steps as an argument broke out, seating herself at the highbacked plum chair, her neighbors separating themselves, except for one who leaned over her shoulder. He was young, maybe in his 40′s with dark eyes and a broad farmer's face.

“Peer Hawkins,” he tilted his head forward, ignoring the debating din around them, “I am Peer Magnus Pyrite, pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise Peer Pyrite.” she shook his offered hand and listened as the arguments died down, more than a few remember of Wizagmont staring at her. “Do you think they’re getting my good side?” Penny hummed under her breath, “My wanter poster didn’t do me much justice I’ll be honest.”

“Let them look,” Pyrite leaned back into his own seat, “you’ve got more friends than contenders in this room anyway, they’re just blowing hot air because you dared to answer a summons.”

Penny smiled and settled back, watching as Crakstone was already showing off pictures of his newborn daughter and her goblin friend was handing candy to a girl in her 20′s that look exhausted as the idea of even being there. There was a call to order and Penny let her back go straight.

There was work to be done, and as she pulled a quill from her robes and the latest debate began to circulate. She stood, and took a deep steadying breath.

Showtime.

1827 April Saturday 28

6 1/4 12 50/60 my bowels pretty well – finished dressing – went out at 7 55/60 to the chantier rue Basse du Rempart No (numero) 64 – asked 38 francs for what I got for 36/. – came away because would not take less than 2 francs pour la voiture – would only give 1/50. – called back – agreed – waited to see the wood measured – for which 6 sols par voie – came home to tell Geoge to be ready – and to get money returned to the chantier paid the bill – waited to see the wood loaded and off – came with it, and got home the 2d (second) time at 8 40/60 – ordered the wood to be coupé en deux – always pay 15 sols per cut – went out again immediately strolled along the boulevard – left my parasol to be mended at No (numero) 1 Boulevard de la Madeleine – sauntered about and read at a bookstall close by for about an hour – Mécanisme de langues par La Pluche – on the proper plan of learning languages, and improper plan pursued at schools, and in general likes not the plan of writing doggerel and themes – the pith of him seems to be that one should seek the conversation of well educated persons and read the best authors translating them into our own language not attempting to translate our own language into the language we are studying – then went to Mrs. B- (Barlow) (got there about 9 40/60 – found her in bed reading the newspaper – staid talking – got home at 10 1/2  - from then to 12 breakfast and read the paper – Mrs. B- (Barlow) called for me at 12 – just saw my aunt, and went out at 12 1/4 - Mrs. B- (Barlow) went 1st (first) to the expiatory chapel built over the spot where the remains of the king and queen were thrown after their being guillotined, and where being observed at the time they were found on the reurn of the Bourbons, and collected and sent to Saint Denis – one of the garters of the queen with the coronet in gold on it was found on the knee bone – the bones of the others sufferers were collcted and are built up in 2 vaults in the crypt of the chapel – the earth over them was carefully collected, and put in front of the chapel, now covered with green turf – greensward – a very pretty chapel – very appropiate – much pleased with it – the Dauphine goes the )re about once a fortnight – over king too – they will be going in 8 or 10 days – from the chapel to the rue de la Ferme, and along this street etc. to the place de Louis XV, over the pont de Louis 16 straight forward to the ateliers de sculpture got there about 1 40/60 a long range of barn-like looking building, but well enough adapted to the purpose – several colossal statues, finished intended for the chambre des Deputes etc. – a very intelligent german-named Italian there at work upon a clay model of Louis 16 in the act of praying god to forgive his enemies – this man let us see him at work (the people whom will not in general admit strangers), and we staid talking to him some time – the model would be finished in a month – would be glad to shew us it then – very civil  - lives at Nantes in Brittany where he has left his wife, and family – a very nice town – full of English – government to give him 1000 écus, i.e. 3000 francs for the model – would do my bust en platte for 100 écus (300 francs) – it would be more in marble – had before asked the woman who shewed us about, the price of a full-length extended Venus in a shell – beautiful – 15,000 francs – from here walked to the école militaire, to see where we should be best placed should we go to the revue tomorrow – erecting temporary seats with an awning over them 3/. per place the front seat, 2/. the  next behind – examined the racing booths – these will be quite a dress concern – admissio}n only by billet from the stewards or encouragers of the races – sauntered along to tho’ the Barone at Passy meaning to see the Savonnerie – had gone too far – returned – on inquiry (I wondered I had not before recollected it) found the carpet manufactory removed to the Gobelins – nothing now done here but preparing the wool and yarn – got into the Champs Elysées, and got to Mrs. B- Barlow’s at 5 1/4 - sat with her and Jane (at my ease on the sofa) till 7 25/60 – got home at 7 1/2 - dinner at 7 35/60 – came to my room at 9 1/2 - wrote all the above of today, and settled with Geoge and my accounts, all which (went to wish my aunt goodnight at 10 for 5 minutes) took me till 11 – till 11 35/60 counting over my money, and seeing what I had spent last week – It seems I had lost 7 sols since last Sunday – O .. -

high, left margin: speaking of living copies for sculpture, obliged to have them – had both men and women – plenty here – had women at 6/. a day – just write a note to name the day when they were wanted – nothing more required – 

bottom, left margin: F 50 1/2 at 7 a.m.                                       59 at 10 1/2 -                                       64 at noon                                       65 at 7 1/2  p.m.                                       59 at 11 –                                       fine morning sunny –                                       very fine day –                                       warm enough –