got a new hard drive (had to, no space left 😔), so I'm using that as a reason to completely reorganise my files (mostly shows, movies etc)

I'm having such a good time 💖

Post-Apocalypse/Dystopia AU

 So I’ve been doing a lot of pondering on @my-headcanons-academia OFA headcannon and I’ve come up with an idea. Basically the whole thing was “what if OFA didn’t have to be passed on consensually?” Check out the thread here.

So here we go.

Trigger Warning: Gore mentioned, Traumatic experiences mentioned

What’s Happening:

Izuku’s DNA somehow mutated the OFA quirk to no longer have to be passed on consensually

Anytime he sneezes, coughs, etc. a bit of OFA is released

So if the DNA lands on a person, their quirk is powered up for a bit and they might (it’s rare) see flashes of the past users

The villains get wind of this since it’s not hard to pin down. Everyone around Izuku has experienced a power up at some point. 

Witnessed this first hand at the USJ incident when Izuku’s blood got on some of his classmates, Aizawa, and All Might

USJ was an experiment planned out by AFO, he needed to see if it was legit

Once the majority of the LOV was wiped out at USJ, AFO got Giran to find more villains with decent quirks, not really caring if they were up for the job or not

They eventually built up an army 

They dug up some intel on Izuku and uses Toga and Twice to scout out UA

They notice his connection with Katsuki

LOV plans to kidnap Katsuki at the training camp

Canon-Compliant: At the training camp, Katsuki is kidnapped

Izuku, Kirishima, Iida, and Momo go to rescue him

All Might fights AFO and becomes Small Might

A group of Nomus is sent after Kirishima, Iida, Momo, and Izuku

They’re too strong to take down and Izuku is taken

The rest of the group rescue Katsuki (it wasn’t hard, they just left him there)

Once Izuku is taken, AFO warps away from All Might 

Once The Doctor gets Izuku, Izuku is set up to be drained of every ounce of DNA gradually, so that it can replenish in enough time. Izuku is turned into a renewable power source for quirks, mainly powering up Nomus, the LOV, and occasionally a stray villain who pays well.

Eventually the Doctor starts turning the LOV into Nomus 

Once the entire army is turned Nomu, AFO releases them onto Japan and sets about turning civilians into Nomus

Once Japan recognizes AFO as the authority, he sets about perfecting that role and effectively ruling over the country

Once AFO officially becomes the leader, hero society is no more.

Hero agencies and hero schools are demolished and support items were confiscated and destroyed

Anyone who called themselves a hero or vigilante were kidnapped, stripped of their quirk, and killed or went into hiding

Class 1-A was split up when their school was bombed (they were in their Training Course at the time):

Satou and Kouda were killed in the blast

Kaminari, Yaoyorozu, Jirou, Ojiro, and Mineta went into hiding together

Iida went to his family and they started to form a rebellion (but they were all killed)

Kirishima, Mina, and Sero were in hiding together

Kaminari would have went with them but they were separated amongst the destruction

Kirishima went searching for Bakugo and Mina and Sero were killed in his absence

Kirishima blames himself for their deaths

Todoroki went to find his family and search for Izuku along the way

Uraraka, Tsuyu, and Hagakure went in hiding together

Tsuyu and Hagakure were killed and Urakaka narrowly escaped. (Hagakure’s quirk was tracked down since it was easy to detect and beneficial for advancing Nomu defenses)

Tokoyami and Shoji went to search for any remaining family and Hawks for guidance

Aoyama ventured off to find a way back to France and to see if AFO had taken over the world rather than just Japan

Katsuki ventured off to find and rescue Izuku.

He feels responsible for his kidnapping

Finding Izuku would also bring back order to the chaos

Angst!

Characters:

Along the way, Katsuki (unwillingly) forms a group.

Todoroki is the first to be spotted.

At first, Katsuki is relieved to see one of his classmates is still alive and the lack of social interaction gets the better of him. He begins to approach, but then trudges off because he doesn’t need anyone “dragging him down.” Fortunately, Shoto spots him and catches him, also relieved to see one of his fellow classmates, Katsuki no less (I imagine they have a kind of close bond due to their similar rankings in academics and such, Katsuki respects him but won’t admit it). They were heading in the same direction so they stuck together. Katsuki was externally reluctant, but internally grateful for the company and help. (Plus, Shoto was searching for his family, including his father, and his father would be an excellent asset to have).

Next, the duo stumbles upon a struggling Ochaco. (They had their hero costumes on when the blast happened, so she still had on those ridiculous boots). Shoto is relieved to see her (c’mon, they’re besties) and Katsuki goes “I-don’t-care-about-you-but-I’m-actually-a-caring-person” mode on her and exasperatedly searches for gear for her. Once she’s settled and she reports Tsuyu’s and Hagakure’s deaths, they all come to the conclusion that she has nowhere to go so she is accepted into the group. (Of course, once she finds out they are going to save Izuku, that becomes her main mission as well. Again, besties).

(Tall and lanky x short and chubby platonic duo. See also, girl needs money, boy willing to steal his abusive father’s credit card (based on headcanons)).

Eijirou is next, his main goal being to find Katsuki and bring him back to the Bakusquad. He was successful in the first part of his mission and he wants to help save Izuku, but he wants to get the rest of the Squad first. Katsuki denies it, telling him that they’ll lose too much time and promises to get them after Izuku, so Eijirou just stays, hoping his friends will remain safe.  

As mentioned, once he learns Mina and Sero died when he left he blames himself. His character stays relatively the same, being motivational and a bit of a meat-head, but only because he represses his grief. He’s got eye bags from the lack of sleep and he’s picked up a few nervous habits such as chewing on his lips (and because of his sharp teeth we can see how bad that is). Katsuki knows what’s up with him because he’s a pro at emotional constipation and there’s a little bonding there. “If you’re gonna blame anyone, blame me. I’m the one who didn’t want to go back.” (And some more trauma for Katsuki, he’s blaming himself for a lot of people’s deaths and misfortune...)

Whenever they go gear-hunting, Ochaco searches for hair dye and gel for Eijirou since his staple look has been put on hold since the apocalypse. (This is how he’s able to maintain his signature horns and the brightness of the red part of his hair, but not his roots. Hair bleach is impossible to find and it would take too long to use).

Some Pro Heroes in the mix too:

All Might (but not really...)

After his endeavor with AFO, Toshinori aims to find Izuku. He feels responsible, especially since he didn’t catch on to the odd mutation of OFA immediately. Once AFO’s plan begins to take place, all of his failures catch up with Toshinori. He failed Izuku and he got kidnapped, he couldn’t save everyone from AFO, and he was no longer the symbol of peace. Toshinori goes into hiding and gains a new identity, essentially becoming a vigilante. He’s going to save Izuku and he’ll do it his own way, the world can wait. Correcting one mistake at a time, right? All Might, the symbol of peace, has officially disappeared, leaving Japan hopeless and desperate. 

His sudden disappearance causes Katsuki to lose all respect for him. Once Izuku learns that Toshinori paused saving Japan to rescue him, he loses respect too.

Endeavor (and Hawks)

Enji turns into a bit of a badass. Think of your stereotypical, ripped apocalypse survivor and you’ve got Endeavor. He probably has a bunker, if not multiple, filled with supplies. He’s taken the new role of being the number one hero very seriously (though, he’s more of a vigilante now. Also he doesn’t have his hero costume, it’s too eye-catching, think cargo pants and sweaters). and is planning on taking on AFO and bringing the world back to how it was. He’s skilled and quick, but of course he’s not alone. His quickness is aided by the fastest pro hero, Hawks (he doesn’t change much, his character is canon-compliant, maybe a bit more cocky though). These two rip through Nomus like they’re nothing and it pisses AFO off to no end. (Hawks and Endeavor are the stereotypical main characters of the post-apocalypse trope, but they’re not the main characters here...if you catch my drift; a bit of irony?). Endeavor’s desire to save the world is definitely helping him heal his past ways and he’s hoping to fix Japan before he gathers his family again.

Aizawa/ Eraserhead (and Shinso)

Aizawa is doing what any good teacher would, do. Traveling the lengths of Japan in search of his deserted students. Mainly Izuku whose rescue would put an end to this hellish atmosphere. Before the blast, Aizawa had stepped out of the gym for a coffee break. The first bomb had dropped on the main UA building and Aizawa rushed to help save any survivors. The general studies students were in the classroom closest to where Aizawa was and he found a few students, Shinso included. He was badly hurt, his eye almost gouged out, his elbow bent in a gruesome manner, his shoulder dislocated, but most importantly his neck. Shinso had been leaned over his desk asleep when a pile of rubble fell on top of him, knocking the breath out of him and bruising his spine, but also thrusting his neck harshly into the edge of the desk. Since then it has been difficult for him to speak, rendering him almost quirkless. After digging Shinso out, the second bomb fell on the gym grounds and Aizawa watched as the building his class was in crumbled to the ground. After that, bombs dropped repeatedly, one after another, causing any survivors to hurry and duck for cover. Fortunately, Aizawa noticed a few moving forms in the gym his class was located in. 

Shinso and Aizawa didn’t have any trouble communicating since Shinso didn’t speak much as it was due to insecurities about his quirk (a wonderful headcanon, not made by me: here)

(If you’re curious about where Eri is, she’s with Present Mic, other Pro Heroes and civilians in a bunker somewhere, safe from Nomus for now).

Environment/Society: 

Under AFO’s “rule” a lot of things were changed, even the environment suffered.

With numerous bombings (lots of hero representation in Japan), lots of smog and ash was created, blocking out the sun. This cooled the temperature and made the air thinner, making it difficult to breath. Face masks (gas masks for the edgy and cool people) and sweaters are not uncommon to wear now. (I’ve also drawn out character designs for the main crew, Katsuki, Eijirou, Shoto, and Ochaco. I’m thinking about doing the minor characters. I’ll post it soon).

Nomus roam the cities.

These Nomus are more developed than the ones seen in the manga, think of the Nomus that could speak and counterattack efficiently. 

Nomus have multiple quirks and the majority of them have quirks surrounding surveillance and stealth (hence why Hagakure was targeted). The most common is a quirk that detects the use of emitter quirks (they sense the surge of power) or a quirk that senses a constant use of a quirk (constantly active quirks, like mutation types), making it almost impossible to use one’s quirk without being caught and killed.

Obviously I’m not done generating this idea, I still want to talk more about the LOV and maybe add in other characters as well as address major plot points. So I’ll just edit and reblog this post when I do!

October Challenge Day 13

This is actually a rewritten version of yesterdays prompt but I hated what I wrote yesterday so I rewrote it again today.

The prompt was ‘Broken Down’ from the Whumptober prompts list. Given that it’s a Whumptober prompt, I feelI probably don’t need to say but uh... yeah I turned Labby into a punching bag again. It’s the third installment of the ‘zap Labby’ idea, taking place when she’s with the Shadow Ops and been with them for a little while. It’s basically, ‘Labby struggling with the associations between the maintenance chair and the hell she had to endure in the lab’. I’ve once again left the ending open so I guess this is getting another installment. Great.

Labby has officially taken over my October Challenge with this idea alone. Someone stop this rabid plot bunny please.

Anyway, the fic under cut!

The first time it happened, no one had been around. Her balancers had malfunctioned and she’d tripped and fallen hard.

Labrys had hissed at the awkward way her knee was forced to bend and at the awful way she’d landed on her wrist. She’d had to stay there for a few minutes as her balancers came back online and made the world stop spinning every time she to tried to move. When she did get back up, she’d considered going to see Fuuka to repair them but thought better of it at the time. It wasn’t that bad.

She’d carried on as normal, an ache in her knee and a soreness in her wrist that had gradually worn off by the end of the day.

The second time it happened, she’d been walking with Koromaru and Ken and her chain arm decided to unlatch itself at the same time as her visor decided to fall over her face mid-sentence. She’d scrambled to put her arm back before anyone had noticed, Ken helping out as pointless information started flying across the inside screen on her visor and obstructed her vision.

He’d asked if she was okay as she tugged at said visor as it jammed into place over her eyes and he’d had to help her with that as well before she broke it with a lack of patience. She’d insisted at the time that it was just a minor fault that got in the way sometimes and had taken some time to convince him it wasn’t worth bothering Fuuka over.

It was during the third time, she had to admit that maybe this was getting out of hand. Labrys had been alone thankfully when her mind went dark and she’d lost all external input for about a full minute. It’d scared her half to death to suddenly be numb with no ability to move or sense anything for even that short period of time and when everything came back, she’d had to sit down to keep herself grounded.

She didn’t ever want to be in that box again and that had just brought it all crashing back.

She should go to see Fuuka. She knows she should.

So she does.

Labrys entered the maintenance room where Fuuka often went to tinker with her engineering projects and hadn’t known what to say. She’d found herself asking about the projects she was working on and wondering what in the world all the dials and buttons were for. When asked why she’d come, she’d paused. She made to answer but had found the words wouldn’t come. Fuuka waited patiently as she made a few more attempts before her eyes had wandered and noticed something she probably shouldn’t have.

On the desk, right nearby sat a familiar little box shaped object with two familiar prongs jutting out one side.

Labrys had never been better at lying than in that one moment. As a notoriously bad liar, she’d even amazed herself at how convincing she’d sounded as she made up some random excuse to avoid what she’d come in for. She’d been scared enough as it was to ask for help but now…

Things were getting worse. The wear on her joints had started to ache nonstop, her visor got jammed what seemed like every five minutes and it was getting much harder to keep this to herself. This was nothing compared to what she would go through if she asked for help.

She’d had a few more momentary blackouts but had luckily managed to avoid having them in front of people. The malfunctions… not so much.

She’d nearly rocket punched Junpei when everything suddenly went off and the safety latches failed. Yeah… that had taken some convincing to keep that one from getting reported.

Thankfully she’d managed to almost completely avoid Mitsuru and Aigis most of the time. She knew there’d be no convincing either of them if something happened in front of them. The last thing she wanted was to be forced into that situation again…

Especially when she finally felt like she had some semblance of control over her life now. She wasn’t ready to let that go for even a moment.

“What’s your opinion on this, Labrys? You’ve been quiet.” Mitsuru spoke up, drawing her attention to the present. They were stood in her office for a meeting on some recent shadow activity, they being her, Aigis, Akihiko and Mitsuru herself. Looks like she’d zoned out again…

“Uh…” Mitsuru raised an eyebrow, seemingly already knowing why she hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, sorry. Ya lost me…” Labrys gave her an apologetic smile as she fidgeted with her hands awkwardly, a little embarrassed.

“It’s quite alright. Aigis can fill you in on the details of our discussion later.” She then offered out a file to her that she reached to take. She froze partway, flinching at the ache in her elbow that doubled with the loud grating noise that echoed from it. Mitsuru seemed to have a similar reaction, an awkward silence raining down on them.

“Was that-”

“It sounds worse than-” They both spoke at the same time before stopping themselves. A small bubble of panic started rising form within her and she quickly reached the rest of the way to take the file.

Hastily opening it up, she tried to ignore the red hot stares of the other three people in the room.

“Sister?” Aigis started hesitantly, earning an absent hum in response as ruby eyes scanned the words in front of her. “Have you been to see Fuuka-san recently?”

“Uh… yeah I saw her a little bit ago. Why?” She feigned ignorance as she flipped through the pages, narrowing her eyes on some of the details thoughtfully. She shook her head before Aigis could continue, “actually, never mind that. Did I miss the reason why we’re investigatin’ some ghost stuff?”

“Mitsuru thinks it might have something to do with shadows. It’s a bit of a long shot, but it can’t hurt to have a quick look, right?” Akihiko answered, crossing his arms as he leaned on the wall. Labrys nodded at what was probably repeated information from when she’d stopped listening.

She heard Aigis say something right as her sensors went fuzzy for a moment. She should probably get out of here before anything worse happens…

“W-well, um. Who’re ya sendin’ on a ghost hunt?” She asked, before realising she’d interrupted Aigis who gave her a funny look. “Ah, sorry. I musta spaced out again, heh…”

“You seem to be doing that a lot today, sister.” A blonde eyebrow raised and Labrys had to find a way to casually look back down at the files.

“Meh. It happens.” She gave a small shrug, ignoring the sting it caused. “Well, if ya don’t need me then-” Labrys made to hand the file to Akihiko as she approached the door to leave, only for everything to choose that moment to go wrong. Her eyes went dark for a moment as her hand lost its grip on the file and she lost her balance.

“Labrys!” She couldn’t tell who’d shouted that before the rest of her sensors shut off. A fear started pulsing through her at the lack of outside input and she scrambled to reboot everything. No sound, no sight, no smell, no touch… nothing. The only thing telling her she wasn’t completely unconscious being the fact her mind was racing.

Her hearing came back first and she clung to it, pushing the sensitivity up to maximum.

“So she’ll be fine?” Voices! She focused all of her attention on the sounds as the damage sensors came back online and started filling her head with the white noise of pain.

“Physically? Of course. Emotionally…” Fuuka’s soft voice answered the first. “Well there had to be a reason for this.” Reason for what? The feeling started returning to her body then, letting her know she wasn’t in a very comfortable place. The balancers on the back of her head shifted awkwardly as they came back online, her motor functions beginning to return as well.

“Hm? Is she awake?” Mitsuru asked, seemingly having noticed her small movements.

“Hmm…I don’t think she’s fully back online just yet. I think she can hear us though.” Fuuka answered sounding slightly more optimistic.

“How can you tell?” Akihiko followed by the sounds of footsteps by her left side.

“Oh it’s right here, see? The sensors are turned right up to maximum whereas when you got her here, they were only at about three quarters of the max.” The explanation made her worry a little. How were they seeing this…? “I can’t help but wonder where that damage came from though…” Damage?

A discomfort started building in her lower arms, an irritating, highly unwelcome feeling and after a few moments she realised why it was there. She felt the fans on either side of her head suddenly activate as her thoughts spiralled.

She was plugged in. They could see everything in her head. There was virtually nothing to stop them from doing anything. What were they doing? What had they done?

“Sister? Calm down.” Aigis suddenly spoke up, easing the panic slightly but not enough to stop the fans. Her optics came back online at that point, her eyes flying open to see something other than the pitch black. With her sight back, she found the cables attaching her to whatever computer Fuuka had linked them up to and immediately made to remove them.

When her hand met resistance, her heart sank further and the fear skyrocketed. Without a moment to think, she pulled on the restraints, pushing against them with increasing power despite the pain such strain caused her.

“Wait, Labrys stop!” Aigis was suddenly in her sight as she heard the restraints creak and begin to stretch under the sheer force she was pushing on them. “Sister! It’s okay! See? You’re in the maintenance bay! With me, Fuuka-san, Mitsuru-san and Akihiko-san!” She was promptly ignored as she struggled to free herself.

Gritting her teeth she briefly felt Aigis trying to hold her down. How could she try and stop her? Didn’t she see what they were gonna do to her?

“No! Lemme go!” She screamed at them the very moment her vocal systems finished rebooting. “I don’t wanna do it anymore!”

“Hey! Stop! You’re gonna hurt yourself!” Akihiko was at her side too, trying to stop her from causing any more damage to her already hurting limbs. She thrashed about on the chair as they continued to try and calm her down.

“Labrys, listen to me! It’s okay! You’re not at that lab anymore. You’re in my old maintenance chair, see?” Aigis kept trying but Labrys just doubled her efforts. This is the one place she didn’t want to be, why were they doing this to her?

Weren’t they supposed to be friends? Wasn’t Aigis supposed to be her sister? Then why would they force her to do this?!

“Stop it! Just lemme go!” She felt the tears start falling when they just held onto her tighter, their betrayal causing a wound bigger than any weapon possibly could in her heart.

Ruby eyes flitted about wildly, her gaze briefly finding Mitsuru’s. She didn’t seem to know what to do but she was the only one not stopping her from leaving. She took an instinctive step back at the look in her eyes and Labrys latched onto that.

“M-Mitsuru-san! Help!” She called out to her, desperation to get as far away from here as possible muddling any other thought process. Mitsuru’s eyes widened before a loud grating sound erupted from her right side.

“Sister!” Aigis cried in alarm as the restraint snapped and Labrys lost control of two fingers on that hand. She screeched at the searing pain the damage had caused and fought harder against her captors. She wanted out.

“Fuuka, do something!” Akihiko yelled as he struggled to prevent her from breaking the other restraints as well.

“I…” Pained ruby eyes found Fuuka’s round, hesitant ones. What was she gonna do? Aigis pulled back harder on her damaged arm and drew her attention away as she cry out at the amount of hurt that pulsed from the break.

“Fuuka, whatever you’re about to do, just do it.” Mitsuru commanded. “Somethings not right here.” Labrys found Fuuka again in dismay.

“No! I don’t wanna go through that again! Jus’ lemme go!” She pleaded, hoping her friend would listen to her but…

“I’m sorry, Labrys. It’ll be okay, I promise.” She said, never breaking eye contact as she pressed a button on the keyboard. Almost immediately a weight fell on her mind. What had she done?

Labrys felt more tears fall as it suddenly became difficult to move or even keep her eyes open. She was shutting down. Fuuka had started a shutdown.

“No…!” She tried to protest but the words had trouble leaving her lips as her body was forced to relax and she felt the energy quickly drain away from her. “Why…?” She managed to mumble right as her eyes lost focus and her head fell back against the chair. Labrys struggled to hold onto her consciousness, desperately trying to force her eyes to stay open as Aigis shifted from holding her down, to holding her close. She offered as much comfort as she could with small words she could barely make out in the fog covering her senses.

Labrys didn’t hold out long. Her eyes fell shut and she drifted away into nothingness…

The Tower + The Force of Impact

This week is a sort of special anniversary for me. Exactly five years ago, I fell through the fire escape outside a friend’s apartment and broke three ribs. It was a serious injury, the bones were “grossly displaced” (I was morbidly delighted to learn this term), and the healing was very slow. And friends, as some of you may remember, the timing absolutely could not have been worse. 

You see, just a month beforehand I’d moved out of the apartment I’d shared with my partner of over a decade. Not sure of my next steps, I packed everything into a storage unit, like so:

The unit was located in this fascinating old historical building, an old glue factory which had been converted into public storage. I’d ridden my bike past it so many times, I took a perverse pleasure in finally having an excuse to go inside, rent a tiny piece of it:

From there I embarked on a month of traveling across the country, mainly to get a leg up financially by not having to pay rent. It didn’t work! And when I returned to the city, I kept everything in storage while I took shelter in a temporary room I could scarcely afford. I decided to keep it monastically empty, like so:

Not even a bed to sleep in, because beds are FURNITURE, and furniture is not only EXPENSIVE, but signifies a symbolic COMMITMENT to the way things are going to be for a while. 

I was determined to avoid defining my new reality that haphazardly, This, I imagined, was my one big chance to find the path forward, into THE FUTURE.  I wanted to remain staggeringly open-minded, which would require the utmost clarity and simplicity. Starting anew with only the basics, I would hone my sensitivities and let them guide me to what was truly important. 

And thus, the only piece of luggage I brought to the temporary room was the suitcase containing all of my ritual equipment, like so:

But then, within a week of setting up in the new space, came the fall. And with the injury came the kind of pain and fear that you simply can’t retreat from. I couldn’t rest, couldn’t think. I could barely commute to my storage space, let alone haul anything back from it. I didn’t have any goddamned money. Overnight, that spartan living space appeared quite different to me: it was devoid of comfort, and of possibilities. I was just a person with nothing, trapped in the borderlands, and my surroundings reflected that. 

You almost had to laugh. Except I couldn’t, it hurt my bones.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but that winter ended up drop-kicking me into the deepest depression since my early twenties. There’s a special component of failure that age imparts to illness: fifteen years of growth, of important milestones and observations, but suddenly none of that is useful, or even accessible. Poof, gone.

And that carefully-packed suitcase full of ceremonial tchotchkes? It might as well have been filled with sand.  

I made a lot of terrible decisions that winter, but can’t bring myself to regret them. I also made a lot of okay-ish decisions, and even some pretty good ones, all considered. A drowning person will grab onto anything that floats. At one point I spent about $200 of the money I didn’t have on new clothes: red socks, red pants, red sweaters, red everything. My gothic black-and-gray wardrobe suddenly felt like it was killing me, pulling me down. I needed to draw power from an external source, and color seemed to help.

That was the winter I began using the Salvador Dali tarot deck – I’d actually purchased it just hours before falling from that fire escape. 

One of the few joys during those long months was discovering that these cards finally made sense to me, seemed to come alive in my hands. When I’d first explored them fifteen years earlier, Dali’s abstract impressions of the arcana had been too advanced for me; now the deck had practical use.   

The colors in these cards inspired me to start painting again, and when I couldn’t think of anything to practice on, I’d just copy illustrations from the deck. It didn’t feel like I was making art, just crudely using water to push the paint around, constraining my focus to subjects that brought the kind of comfort and illumination that expired opioids barely scratched at. 

The winter passed, and then the spring, and I managed to pull it all together just in time to lose it again, in the fall. Another heartbreak, concurrent with another physical injury, and many of the same conditions: another temporary room with no bed, my best things in storage, nothing in particular on the horizon suggesting that significant change was possible. Again. Again.

One of the ugliest parts of all this was knowing how much worse it could get, how many people have it much harder every single day. Some end up living their entire lives that way. Having risen out of such conditions earlier in life, I’d always been sympathetic to those who were still trapped; now, even sliding backward into hell, it felt uncharitable to complain too noisily.

However... and this is a pretty big however... I hate the idea of failure so passionately. It’s offensive to me on a profound level. Having climbed out of the depths of complete isolation and a shitty, abusive childhood, having catapulted myself across the country and gradually proved (to me, if no one else) how frightfully attainable so many dreams can be... 

All that effort, and for what? To just implode and lay there dying in a nest of red socks? 

From the first day I put my things in storage inside the historic Miller building, I wanted to climb it. Not the outside, silly. I wanted to find out how high one could actually ascend into that great big noggin perched on top. Considering how much of NYC building stewardship seems to resolve around making things LESS INTERESTING, I assumed it would be completely inaccessible.

I was wrong, friends. There was a staircase in the middle of the building that went up, up, all the way up! Due to a fair amount of recent construction on that wide plane of roof halfway up, they hadn’t bothered to block anything off. And from that midpoint, the stairs just kept going up. How far?

Finding out would be tricky, because I couldn’t afford to get caught and risk having my rental agreement canceled. And then once I broke my ribs, urban exploration was off the agenda for quite some time. 

But at some point in 2015, I actually went back and climbed it several times, went all the way up. 

On the plus side, there seemed to be no security cameras in the stairwell... but also, above the roof level there was no electricity, and the wooden stairs from that point upward hadn’t been inspected in... gosh, maybe fifty years?

Don’t worry, I was as “careful” as one could possibly be, even if there seemed to be nothing left to lose.

In that middle section of the building, three stories worth of crumbling wooden staircases climbed in total darkness brought one to the final threshold: a ladder leading to that uppermost chamber, the steps thin enough to bounce slightly underfoot.

It seems ungrateful to describe what I found up there “anticlimactic.” What did I expect, skulls hanging by the eye-sockets from chains? It was simply musty and derelict and mostly undisturbed. A bit of light came in from cracks between the boards, reminding me that I was at least a hundred feet above street level.

I had wanted to find some kind of ultimate truth up there in the darkness, even if it scared me all the way to death. So, the excitement of setting foot in a space that had remained unoccupied for so many years seemed like a mere consolation prize. I’d been bracing myself to be shattered, torn all the way apart. 

Why was it almost a disappointment to survive, to ease myself back down the rickety ladder, descend those crumbling staircases through the guts of the Miller building, and scamper out onto the sidewalk no worse for wear, no one the wiser, completely unwarned and unscathed? To face the daylight again, no end to this journey in sight?

That’s how I feel sometimes about all the wonders that have come into my life since then, five years onward. The residual gloom isn’t dark enough to be horrifying, and the illumination is never quite bright enough to dispel the shadows. 

I prayed to find this kind of equilibrium, and worked my way toward it so painstakingly; it’s such tedious work, if only because the extremes can be so attractive. The motion of flying back and forth between them is so exhilarating, the impact of a high-speed collision so marvelously unambiguous.

But if it’s truth you seek, the tedious work is literally all there is. Here’s a quote cadged from the last chapter of that book I’ve been studying again lately, Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism:

“He who aspires to authentic spiritual experiences never confounds the intensity of the experience undergone with the truth that is revealed — or is not revealed — through it, i.e. does not regard the force of impact of an inner experience as a criterion of its authenticity and truth. For an illusion stemming from the sphere of mirages can bowl you over, whilst a true revelation from above can take place in the guise of a scarcely perceptible inner whispering.”

Ah, but some of us have to learn everything the hard way. 

Five years onward, I’m still the same person, would probably make all these decisions the same way. The only difference is that I can finally hear the whispering, a steady stream of it, and doubt I’ll ever again confuse the intensity of an experience with its “authenticity,” whatever that is. And the more urgently I’m tempted to do so, the more I have to question what it is I really hope to find out there, in the vastness of the future.

There’s a notorious phenomenon described as “failing up,” wherein some people manage to succeed in spite of their obvious shortcomings, spared certain consequences due to certain privileges such as wealth, gender, racial identity, etc.

But I want you to know, friends, that despite certain inescapable factors, there’s hope for any of us. Down can become up quite suddenly, and up can let you down. You can get flattened by a feather, or trip over a shoelace and end up on the roof.

You just have to stay alive long enough to see what happens next. And then for five minutes after that. 

And then, gradually, five minutes at a time, this becomes five years. That’s about all I can really say about it from experience.

Wait, that’s not true: thank you, all of you, for helping me span those years and find my footing up and down the ladder. 

Here’s hoping that we’re still brushing past each other in the dark in another five years, on our way to... somewhere, anywhere, but slowly, and according to scarcely perceptible whispers. 

Most Powerful Love And Marriage Spells

Love has never been something ordinary. By saying this am talking about True love. Love is a magnet of emotions and affection. Once one falls in love its quite hard to let go. Love is all about happiness and pleassure but alt pf people have fallen victims of love in a very hurting way due to much trust in the seemingly wrong people. Are you out there but hurting so much because of the person you thught is the right choice for you but things went wrong yet it wasnt your fault,you are in the right place to get back the love of your life. Are you out there but having dumped by your lover for another love partner? No matter the reason why you seperated as long as you still need your sweetheart to get back to you just know its not late to get back what belongs to you. Contact us back for any inquiry about our love spells to get back your lover or for any spell consultation.

Marriage in real senses is the coming together in understanding and agreeing to live together with the person of your desires in more than a close relationship full of emotions and tribulations. this union becomes marriage in various ways, both legal and the would be informal marriage. whatever one may term it,marriage stands a great meaning in people’s lives whether formal or informal. no matter how people got int one another happiness is one major reason to marriage decision and failure to achieve the expected happiness and pleasure then marriage lose its entire meaning. There is always a point of diminishing in marriage however this does not guarantee or mean failure nor the end of the union. however a big percentage of marriages tend to break as a result of impatience,mistrust,cheating,misunderstanding,external pressure and more so the emergency of changing behaviors of lovers due to getting much used to each other. This brings about arguments which later turn into something big. There is also a time that come when one feels like it no-longer working the way it used to and hence losing interest in the marriage relation? Do you know or think that your lover is in love with another person and feeling like you would like to quit but afraid of much that would happen if you leave? Do you feel like trust is lost in your marriage but not willing to letting go, guess you wish you can reignite it? Love and marriage Spells brings refreshment to your husband or Wife’s love and affection as well as feelings. Be at ease because I assure you that this spell will make your husband or wife love you as will make it sure that it fills his heart with an abundant love for you with this love and marriage refreshing spell. if cast nothing is likely to come between you again since its effect or result is permanent. Nothing will ever go wrong l because it will solve all your marriage problems in the blink of an eye and you will never complain again because make your husband’s or wife’s love you more than before. –Do your love partner know or suspect that you cheated on them -Have your lover met someone else -Is it that there is a feeling of having got fed up of fighting, arguing and bickering Does it feel like they’re not in love with you anymore -Is there a sense of feeling taken for granted /not appreciated/ nolonger wanted Do you feel like there is a need for change or refreshment in life The’re quite many reasons why most of relationships fail, marriages break up as well as day today divorce everywhere. There are many common issues that come in stages like before and after child birth, during pregnancy, resentment, retirement or after some good time after marriage.

Some of Love and marriage problems start rising when families members blend in like the in laws , out side born kids,job loss, infertility, work stress. These challenges result to a number of issues in the relation like for instance, Less time for love, gradual intimacy, poor or less communication between lovers,it brings about trust issues,uncontrollable jealousy. Among secondary reasons to love and marriage failure include Some challenges which include financial setbacks or much success, communication and sex life. These challenges may result to cheating on each other which results into separation and divorce. YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOUR CALL TO SOLVING YOUR LOVE AND MARRIAGE PROBLEMS.You can contact me on [email protected] or you may Whatsapp or call me on +27718067714 Here is My Assurance,After using my Fast effective love and marriage powerful spell,your marriage partner will love you more than ever before my spell cast, be assured that your marriage partner will never get tired of expressing his/her love for you daily.

Love Spells are meant to change the course of your love relationship from an undesirable situation to the desired one that you so want to achieve.

ANSWER TO YOUR CALL

Professor Eric is a credible and well recognized spells caster you Have been looking for. I pray, heal, capture and destroy all sorts of bad black magic, witchcraft, bad spirits, evil spells, curses and bring back lost love and luck with the most powerful and fast mighty spells which effect the same time. Do you have business/ financial problems, then you are in the right place for genuine help with Real,powerful,genuine and more so fast Magic spells for love. NOTE: For a long time, I have helped many people solve their life problems, Love, marriage and relationship problems with powerful magic spells that work fast and giving results in a very short period of time. You can contact me on [email protected] or you may Whatsapp or call me on +27718067714

Most Powerful Love And Marriage Spells

Love has never been something ordinary. By saying this am talking about True love. Love is a magnet of emotions and affection. Once one falls in love its quite hard to let go. Love is all about happiness and pleassure but alt pf people have fallen victims of love in a very hurting way due to much trust in the seemingly wrong people. Are you out there but hurting so much because of the person you thught is the right choice for you but things went wrong yet it wasnt your fault,you are in the right place to get back the love of your life. Are you out there but having dumped by your lover for another love partner? No matter the reason why you seperated as long as you still need your sweetheart to get back to you just know its not late to get back what belongs to you. Contact us back for any inquiry about our love spells to get back your lover or for any spell consultation.

Marriage in real senses is the coming together in understanding and agreeing to live together with the person of your desires in more than a close relationship full of emotions and tribulations. this union becomes marriage in various ways, both legal and the would be informal marriage. whatever one may term it,marriage stands a great meaning in people’s lives whether formal or informal. no matter how people got int one another happiness is one major reason to marriage decision and failure to achieve the expected happiness and pleasure then marriage lose its entire meaning. There is always a point of diminishing in marriage however this does not guarantee or mean failure nor the end of the union. however a big percentage of marriages tend to break as a result of impatience,mistrust,cheating,misunderstanding,external pressure and more so the emergency of changing behaviors of lovers due to getting much used to each other. This brings about arguments which later turn into something big. There is also a time that come when one feels like it no-longer working the way it used to and hence losing interest in the marriage relation? Do you know or think that your lover is in love with another person and feeling like you would like to quit but afraid of much that would happen if you leave? Do you feel like trust is lost in your marriage but not willing to letting go, guess you wish you can reignite it? Love and marriage Spells brings refreshment to your husband or Wife’s love and affection as well as feelings. Be at ease because I assure you that this spell will make your husband or wife love you as will make it sure that it fills his heart with an abundant love for you with this love and marriage refreshing spell. if cast nothing is likely to come between you again since its effect or result is permanent. Nothing will ever go wrong l because it will solve all your marriage problems in the blink of an eye and you will never complain again because make your husband’s or wife’s love you more than before. –Do your love partner know or suspect that you cheated on them -Have your lover met someone else -Is it that there is a feeling of having got fed up of fighting, arguing and bickering Does it feel like they’re not in love with you anymore -Is there a sense of feeling taken for granted /not appreciated/ nolonger wanted Do you feel like there is a need for change or refreshment in life The’re quite many reasons why most of relationships fail, marriages break up as well as day today divorce everywhere. There are many common issues that come in stages like before and after child birth, during pregnancy, resentment, retirement or after some good time after marriage.

Some of Love and marriage problems start rising when families members blend in like the in laws , out side born kids,job loss, infertility, work stress. These challenges result to a number of issues in the relation like for instance, Less time for love, gradual intimacy, poor or less communication between lovers,it brings about trust issues,uncontrollable jealousy. Among secondary reasons to love and marriage failure include Some challenges which include financial setbacks or much success, communication and sex life. These challenges may result to cheating on each other which results into separation and divorce. YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOUR CALL TO SOLVING YOUR LOVE AND MARRIAGE PROBLEMS.You can contact me on [email protected] or you may Whatsapp or call me on +27718067714 Here is My Assurance,After using my Fast effective love and marriage powerful spell,your marriage partner will love you more than ever before my spell cast, be assured that your marriage partner will never get tired of expressing his/her love for you daily.

Love Spells are meant to change the course of your love relationship from an undesirable situation to the desired one that you so want to achieve.

ANSWER TO YOUR CALL

Professor Eric is a credible and well recognized spells caster you Have been looking for. I pray, heal, capture and destroy all sorts of bad black magic, witchcraft, bad spirits, evil spells, curses and bring back lost love and luck with the most powerful and fast mighty spells which effect the same time. Do you have business/ financial problems, then you are in the right place for genuine help with Real,powerful,genuine and more so fast love attraction spell. NOTE: For a long time, I have helped many people solve their life problems, Love, marriage and relationship problems with powerful magic spells that work fast and giving results in a very short period of time. You can contact me on [email protected] or you may Whatsapp or call me on +27718067714

Bravely Admitting Mistakes, I Gained God’s Blessings

By Xiaofang, Australia

When I first came to Australia, because of the language barrier, I suffered lots of failures in finding a job: Sometimes, I received no reply after my interview; sometimes, I was turned down directly on the phone. … Faced with such a situation, I felt rather worried: If I fail to find a job, how can I live in this strange country? Because of this, I often couldn’t fall asleep and shed tears in secret. 

Later, a Chinese businesswoman who was engaged in a cleaning service gave me a trial and a week later employed me formally. Cherishing the job very much, I worked pretty hard all day long.

My boss has been in the business in Australia for over ten years. Most of her clients are regular ones, who have strict requirements for the cleaning. My boss is serious and ill-tempered: She always spoke to employees in a harsh tone of voice; if employees did something wrong, she would break out into curses. So, for fear of being abused or dismissed, I was in a state of high-level anxiety and focused all my attention on working every day.

One day, my boss took us to a rich man’s house to do the cleaning. Before entering the house, we were exhorted by the boss to be careful in our work because each piece of furniture here was pretty delicate and expensive. Seeing her serious face, I became nervous. Then in each room, I wiped every corner and decoration with great caution for fear of breaking anything, which I couldn’t afford to pay for. However, what I feared most did happen. When I was wiping a switch on the wall, its glass cover suddenly dropped down. Right then I hurried to catch it, but failed. At that time, I was stunned and broke out in a cold sweat, thinking that I was over. To my surprise, when I picked up the cover, I found that it was actually intact. At that time, I finally felt released in my heart, thinking, “The quality of the cover is so good. Falling from such a height, it’s still undamaged.” Then, I put it back cautiously. Seeing it looked just as it had been, I felt very happy and then continued my work.

The next week, we went to the house again at the appointed time and left after finishing the cleaning. On the way to the next client’s, my boss said in confusion, “It’s weird. He always pays us every other week; why did he not pay us this time. I’ll make him a call.” Not long after she got through to him, they started quarreling on the phone. When I vaguely heard them quarreling about something broken, my heart suddenly clenched: Are they talking about the glass cover? But wasn’t it intact when I picked it up? Oh, if it is really the cover, I’m in big trouble. Hearing my boss’s indignant voice, I felt very frightened, not daring to say a word. Later, the client sent a picture to my boss. At the sight of the picture, I was stunned because it was just the cover, which had terribly cracked. Thinking the client was extorting money from her, my boss began to yell on the phone. In light of the circumstance, I was rather frightened with my heart churning: It’s my fault. Shall I tell the truth or not? If I don’t tell the truth, I’ll be hated by God, without peace within; moreover, perhaps my boss will lose this client and suffer losses. But, if I tell the truth, my ill-tempered boss will definitely dismiss me at once. At the thought of this, I became very upset, unable to figure out what to do.

When we arrived at the next client’s, my boss was still quarreling with that client. Guilty and distressed, I went upstairs with fear; and then, I prayed to God, “Oh, God! Facing such a situation, I’m very fearful and reproached, for it was I who broke the cover. I should tell the truth to the boss. But I’m worried I’ll be dismissed and could hardly make a living if I tell the truth. Besides, I’m afraid if the boss keeps quarreling with the client, she will get herself into big trouble, and even got a lawsuit. Oh, God! Now I’m very frightened and weak. What should I do?”

After praying to God, all of a sudden, I thought of a passage of God’s words, “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements, or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. … Thus, in everything there is a battle, and when there is a battle within you, thanks to your actual cooperation and actual suffering God works within you. … Everything you do requires you to pay a certain price in your efforts. Without actual hardship, you can’t satisfy God, it does not even come close to satisfying God, and you are just saying empty slogans! Can these empty slogans satisfy God? When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony.”

Pondering God’s words and thinking of what had happened to me, I realized it was God’s test that came upon me. When I faced the choice between my own interests and the truth that God required me to practice, God was observing my attitude and choice, so was Satan. Reflecting on my thoughts and idea in this matter, I found that I, driven by the selfish nature, was always protecting my own interests: I’m afraid if I tell the truth, I’ll be abused by the boss and lose my face in front of others, and even be dismissed, losing the source of income. Driven by those thoughts, when seeing the boss quarreling with the client to prove her innocence, I had no courage to admit my mistake. I was really too selfish and despicable. Now failing to stand firm for God, I felt reproached and chastised in my heart, which was God’s righteous disposition coming upon me.

At that time, these words popped into my mind clearly, “You must … act honestly and straightforwardly, speak and act in accordance with the facts, and be someone who is open and aboveboard.” Thank God for His enlightenment and guidance, which allowed me to understand this: God hopes us to be those who are open and aboveboard, and act honestly and straightforwardly; only such people can be blessed by God, live straightforwardly and feel at ease and peaceful inside. Today, God’s arranging this circumstance is to cleanse and change my corrupt disposition and allow me to enter the truth of being an honest person. So, I should put aside my face and interests and take the responsibility; even though my boss would dismiss me, I must tell the truth. Thinking of this, I took a deep breath, calling on God silently in my heart: May You give me faith and strength. May You grant me with the words I should speak.

Then, I went to the boss. Seeing her angry face, I still felt a bit of fear in my heart, but through praying to God again for strength, I had the courage and said to her, “Boss, it was I who broke the cover. At that time when it fell down, I was stunned, thinking it must be broken; unexpectedly, it was still intact when I picked it up. Then, I put it back and went on working without telling you about this. Yet I never thought it was broken like this. I’m sorry to have put you to all this bother. Now, I’m willing to pay for the loss.” After saying those words, I felt pretty relaxed, willing to face her angry response.

To my surprise, my boss didn’t get mad at me but breathed a sigh of relief, and then said to me, “Oh, Fang. It was you. The cover was intelligent and of good quality; so, it didn’t break at once, but gradually cracked. Well, all right. I’ll make an apology to the client and see how to deal with the matter. Go to work and just be more careful from now on.” After hearing this, I just couldn’t believe my ears. I thought that I would be abused by her as usual, and would at least compensate for the cover even though she didn’t dismiss me. Then I realized it was God who did all of this. Seeing God’s deeds, I was very excited and felt the happiness, steadiness, and peace brought by practicing being an honest person. Then I silently offered thanks and praise to God in my heart.

Not long after, my boss took us to do the cleaning as usual. After having made that mistake, I worked more carefully than before: I handled valuables more gently, and often reminded myself, “I mustn’t make trouble for my boss again.” Yet unexpectedly, once I was wiping a delicate desk lamp when its lampshade and bulb somehow fell to the ground from the desk, bulb breaking into pieces. Seeing this, I was stunned: “What happened last time has just smoothed down, yet this time I made the same mistake. How can I face my boss? Will she forgive me again?” I was very nervous and bewildered, not knowing what to do. All of a sudden, I thought of the previous experience and realized that there was God’s will in this matter. So I immediately cried out to God, “Oh, God! Today, the same matter came upon me. How should I experience it?”

After praying, I thought of God’s words, “But in actual fact, this matter is a lesson for which you should be studying, a lesson on how to fear God, on how to shun evil. Moreover, what you should be even more concerned about is knowing what God is doing when this matter arises to face you. God is right at your side, observing every one of your words and deeds, observing your actions, your mind changes—this is God’s work. … Whenever God arranges a circumstance for you, He is watching in secret, looking upon your heart, looking upon your thoughts and considerations, looking at how you think, looking at how you will act.”

Pondering God’s words, I realized this: In every environment I encounter, be it great or small, good or bad, I should practice truth. Last time, when I didn’t practice the truth at first, I lived in Satan’s trickery, feeling distressed without release. Today, when the same thing came upon me, I am starting to consider my face and interests again. God observes everything. He is looking upon my thoughts and considerations and my every action, looking at whether I can put aside my face and interests to practice the truth of being an honest person.

Then, I thought the Lord Jesus once said, “Truly I say to you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). God is holy, so only those who are simple and honest can enter into His kingdom. However, corrupted by Satan, we are so selfish and crafty; to defend our own interests, we even daren’t speak a word of truth. How can such people like us be qualified to inherit what God has promised and enter His kingdom?

Thank God. Having understood God’s will, I seemed to have infinite power to face my mistake bravely. I knew that practicing the truth was not just to admit the mistake but to transform my corrupt disposition and live out the likeness of an honest person. So regardless of the result, I was willing to take responsibility for the matter. Then, I went to my boss and frankly admitted my mistake. To my surprise, she said to me gently, “That’s all right, Fang. The lampstand and lampshade had been broken, which I didn’t tell you in advance. So, we just need to buy a new bulb some other day and put it in. I’ll tell the house-owner about the matter. Go ahead and clean up the pieces.” I was astonished at her words but soon calmed down. At that moment, I experienced a sudden revelation: This matter is a test for me. All things serve one another in order to benefit people who love God; God arranged the circumstance to allow me to gain the truth of being an honest person. Thinking of this, I was filled with gratitude to God in my heart.

More miraculously, after these two matters, my hot-tempered boss no longer abused me; instead, she assigned me the lightest work and raised my salary. Moreover, what gratified me most was that the relationship between us was more than that between employee and employer: She regarded me just as her bosom friend. She often took the initiative to have a heart-to-heart with me, pouring out her worries and difficulties; besides, she taught me how to interact with the foreigners and how to adapt to the life of Australia. Even my colleagues said to me, “Fang, our boss is so nice to you. We are really envious.” Hearing their words, I thanked God silently in my heart. I knew it was because of practicing being an honest person according to God’s words that I could win the trust of my boss, which was God’s grace and blessing. Thank God!

Deciding to be happy.

Sometimes meditation doesn’t work.  Sometimes being mindful of your downfalls doesn’t work. Sometimes yoga doesn’t work. Sometimes writing doesn’t work. It’s a little hard for me to describe how I’ve been feeling the last month or so. Of course I’m going to try, that’s why I write a blog. *sly face* So I’ve talked about cycles before. Being aware of the small turnovers of life makes the every day manageable; being aware of how our emotions and vibrations fluctuate certainly makes everything seem a little less daunting.

I’ve been conscious that I’m entering a new cycle of my life. I’m not so far away from turning 28, an age I’m told is the beginning of the fourth cycle in life. And whether you buy into the hokey-pokey, it makes sense if you suspend your disbelief for a moment. Apparently you have the first 7 years, the years of your childhood and innocence, of unadulteratingly questioning and experiencing the world you live in. Then the second stage, taking you to 14, where you’re contemplating adulthood and experiencing massive physiological changes and all the outcomes of that. Then to 21, where all the shit hits the fan and explodes outwards all over you and the people in your life. I’ve been dealing with the proverbial shit of this third cycle for a while, experiencing existential fear and anxiety for the first time, sorting through the people in my life, assessing how I relate and love, seeing my familial relationships through new eyes, shaving off the bits of me I don’t like. Essentially, the un-conditioning of myself and becoming a new person. 

The last time my life seem to change, there were signals. Life threw me signs that I was about to turn things upside down for a bit. I emotionally and spiritually gave up on London and I lost two friends to the music industry; its hold over all of us to get as much out of our creative outputs as possible (i.e money). This is important enough to mention because it damaged me a lot. It affected my trust with people and I felt so betrayed and let down. I’ve made my peace with them and with the situation, but I’ve learned from it, because at the time, it was just another knife in the side, and I didn’t want it happening again. From that point though, I headed steadily downhill somewhere close to the bottom, where I was thinking of jacking it in altogether. I considered going into property with my savings and my Dad. I considered opening a home-brew shop with my partner, who really was my anchor when I was close to floating off unmoored. I didn’t though, because my other anchor was my own spirit, the relentless resilience I seem to have inherited, that I’m sure I don’t deserve; my music and my innate and absolute desire to howl at the moon. Nitin played a huge part in getting me through this phase. Had I not worked with him, I might have forgotten how important singing was to me. He was a kind of the lifeboat that kept me chugging along in the rougher waters for a while; I was desperately unhappy but those days of rehearsals, shows, and being involved in the dance piece were all life rings that I could swim to and gradually get closer to solid ground. At this point, I believe I was shedding off the things I didn’t need to prepare myself for this next stage.

And this time, I’ve also lost two friends. I’m not going into any great detail about this, only that I believe it was for the best and ultimately the whole experience told me a lot about the people in my life, who I am, and what I stand for. It had a lot to do with how I’ve allowed people to take advantage of me for too long. This ties into one of my previous blogposts about saying sorry and not wanting to rock the boat. I have been conditioned to be nice and I am actively changing this. I have Jameela Jamil to thank for opening my eyes and forcing me to see that it doesn’t make me difficult or manipulative to call out the truth and stand strongly within it. They ended up deleting me from their life because of it. But I hated the entire situation. It hurt. Needless to say it had a big affect on me. That combined with new opportunities taking a while to come to fruition seemed to trigger my anxiety and low mood for the first real time since I wasn’t well. It brought back a lot of bad feelings about inadequacy, self-doubt and the need for external validation that I’ve worked so bloody hard on eradicating. 

Validation is the key word here. I believe it is what most of us struggle with going into our adult lives. I’ve worked very hard to not rely on other people’s voices to bolster my own self-esteem. I’ve done my soul-work, I only listen to my own. I’ve learned to tell the ignorant slut (pls read past post re this: it’s what I call my anxiety) in my mind to shut up when she’s being unkind. But over the last few weeks and returning from LA, which now seems like a dream, the voice has elbowed its way in and I’ve allowed it to have an affect on me. I’m waiting; waiting like I did before, waiting for good feedback, waiting for someone else to come at me with the next opportunity. Stagnant. Waiting for the world, looking for someone to blame.

So what the fuck am I doing? I mean, really. I have been arranging my own sessions, writing my book and flirting with a second, being open and vulnerable about my talent and about my humanness. I’ve been rocking it.

But recently, the difference was that I was doing my yoga, not practising it. I was forcing myself to set an intention of success, orienting everything around my goals. I meditated just to check it off the list. But you can’t apply mindfulness with brute force, with a shotgun to the head and your arm twisted behind your back. What I was doing went hand in hand with the thought that, “If I don’t, I will fail.” Before I knew it, I was telling myself I wasn’t worth it. I’m not creative. I don’t have any ideas. I don’t have an emotional scale. I feel nothing about anything. Have a baby, do something else. You don’t belong in that world (LA). You don’t know who you are. You’re not passionate enough about your art. You’re not passionate about anything. Why is nobody getting back to you? You’re forgettable. It’s because you’re not assertive enough. They deleted you because you meant nothing to them. They didn’t apologise to you because they don’t value you.

The rabbit hole is deep and it is wide. Once you’re on that slope, it seems pre-destined that you’ll end up at the bottom before you even notice you slipped. But I noticed. I’ve my best mate and flatmate to thank for a conversation that made me realise what I was doing, ‘cos I was feeling pretty low there for a minute.  The truth is that it takes real mental effort and strain to drag yourself up the mud slide back to even ground. When I was feeling pretty bad, I used to dream about doing the same thing over, and over, and over again and never reaching a resolution. I dreamt that I was at the bottom of the muddy bank and I could not get to the top where the grass was still green. So doing yoga and meditating over and over to force wellness doesn’t work. Negativity does not beget negativity. You have to accept your feelings and do the work to counter-argue with yourself in a gentle and loving way. I am worth it. I am creative. I feel everything, that’s why it hurts. I know who I am, more than ever. I’d be a great mum, but if I have a baby now I’ll probably forget about it and leave it in the washing basket. I am passionate. I am open and patient, and I trust that things will work out. I am hardworking. And they deleted you because they didn’t value you. That says more about them than you, you stone cold, lovely, bad ass bitch. 

Bye felicia.

I am entering a new chapter of my life soon, and I feel my world shifting to allow for it. It isn’t waiting if I regain control and organise my life. Just because someone is giving you an opportunity doesn’t mean that the work is done. It means that you’re just getting started, and you have to work, now more than ever.

Last week I wrote a song on the guitar. This has not happened in a long time. I was consuming a lot of emotional TV (Queer Eye, k thnks), and I was inspired to assess my own mental health. I got complacent, and the doubt got in. It never really goes away, and just because I was feeling better there for a hot minute in LA, doesn’t mean that the work is done. It continues. Always. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I’m missing something vital because I looked to others to tell me what I’m worth. Everyone else wants as much as possible for themselves. If that means cheapening you so that they’re worth more; that is what they will do. Know. Your. Own. Worth. ‘Cos even your friends will undervalue you.

Self doubt waits at the door, constantly. It wants to be let in, but you keep it at bay. You nod to it, but you don’t allow it across the threshold.

After I recorded the song idea into my phone, I sobbed. Hard. I cried my eyes out. And then I was done. I let the tears come out, unbidden, because I needed to feel it. I think I needed to remember the power of that musical release, why I do what I do. Sure, I’m not like other musicians or singers. Maybe I am depressing, but I’m communicating something that is honest and what we all go through. I am me. And that is enough. It doesn’t matter, all that other stuff. It doesn’t. What matters is how I feel about my music. 

I’m getting to my conclusion, I promise. I meditated earlier this week, and the lovely Andy Puddicomb at Headspace told me to see my mind as the sky. Behind all the clouds, there is always a blue horizon. Just like when you’re on a plane and you finally get above the candy cotton clouds, and in your head you do a little Peter Pan style bounce across them. There’s a soft kind of release I get when I see that. Peace and quiet. Space and breath. Everything else; feelings, thoughts, how we dress, what the world might think...they’re the clouds. When I feel low, my mind seems like an overcast horizon that will not break. An endless, grey, unfeeling cloud of bleak whatever. When I feel good, it’s a summers sky with fluffy white clouds rolling through; you know they won’t stay forever. Meditating is grounding, and reminding yourself with nothing more complicated than breathing that your default setting is a vast blue sky. Warm and peaceful. It might even feel like nothing, but that’s ok too. Everything else is temporary. Clouds are impermanent. The sky is always clear.

So this is my point. I set my intention that day to have a good day. 

Enjoy the little details, enjoy my trial shift at the cafe, enjoy the look on southerners faces when I have a bit of craic with them. Enjoy cooking, enjoy the process, enjoy the walk between here and there, the blossoms, the warmth of the sun on my face. Choose happiness. Choose the blue sky. Decide to be positive. It’s not always easy, and maybe it doesn’t always work. After all, life throws us curveballs and it hurts to get whacked in the face, but it’s a damn sight better than choosing to be an arsehole about it. Try it.

Decide to be happy. 

xxx

Collectible Mantel mantle Tips

It was in the 16th century in Germany that Henlein of Nuremberg built the first spring powered mantle This to every ones shock was to become an instantaneous hit with the rich; regrettably it did have a trouble of decreasing as the mainspring unwound. It did not take wish for the mantel mantle to discover a specific niche on the fireplaces of the abundant, potentially as a result of the mantle being so light, the mantle might likewise be discovered on tables, trunks as well as even sharing a space on an upper body of cabinets. Pendulum mantle allowed and also bulky; it desired these that the mantel mantle went along. The pendulum had actually always been prominent as a result of their exact time maintaining for the country. A gent called Terry in 1816 constructed a mantel mantle; they came to be preferred due to the fact that they were lighter as well as portable. The mantle were driven by weights, and it had not been long hereafter that gradually springtime driven systems started changing weights. Normal winding of the spring was required to keep the mantle working on time.

https://dtpbracketclock.tumblr.com/post/677064452745592832/dtp-bracket-clock

It really did not take long for mantel mantle to become preferred in France. They can be found adjourning mantelpieces and also fire places of not only estates as well as castles, additionally the majority of houses. This is maybe where the name mantel mantle originated from since they were placed primarily on mantelpieces of residences. The motion was of a Parisian kind, with an 8-day support escapement with a pendulum. Eventually the silk thread pendulum was replaced in 1850 by an extra reputable spring pendulum, this was believed to be much better since it was neither limited by temperature level neither moisture, as well as was easily repairable. Mantel mantle throughout the years began to become much more fashionable items of design constructed with candle stands, blossom vases creating part of the external housing. They have actually additionally been produced making use of various materials such as, marble, bronze and wood. The most significant and also simplest mistake lots of people make when buying what they think to be an antique mantel mantle, is refraining from doing their study effectively. These days there are a lot of replica mantle on the market; care needs to be required to locate an appropriate initial mantel mantle A common mistake likewise is for those that have already a collection of mantle as well as wish to acquire one more to choose these, is to not do their correct research study, and purchase the very first mantle they love. When taking the mantle house as well as including it to their collection disappointment arises, because their recently gotten mantle just does not fit in with the rest of the collection. The following blunder once more that numerous individuals do is not to search, they frequently assume that because in the past they have had a truly good deal at one certain shop, they have a tendency to return to the very same store at all times. This need to not necessarily be the means to acquire a wonderful mantel mantle, as they might lose out on a lot of more stunning ones, and may save money. Antique Mantel mantle are attractive pieces to possess and collect. If you have the moment to be careful and also do correct researches, to compare prices, examine what materials the mantle are made of. It is very easy for you to obtain a collectible mantel mantle fairly valued with exceptional craftsmanship. Once you have acquired your first mantle, it is more than likely there will certainly be much more to adhere to. We all have mantle; they are an intrinsic part of our lives. There are mantel mantle, wall mantle, Longcase, grandfather, granny, also granddaughter mantle After that there are Anniversary mantle which are often called 400 day or torsion mantle Not failing to remember of course, carriage mantle and brace mantle The topic is after that further divided by the source of power; Mechanical, powered by a major spring, a weight, battery or electric. There are also water mantle Then there is the subject of the strike and also chimes. These terms are frequently perplexed. Simply put, the strike is the term provided to a bell or gong being hit to represent a specific time of day. Frequently at the hour to symbolize the time (e.g. 4 hammer blows to a bell for 4 o' mantle. Many mantle frequently sound a single strike to a bell or gong at half past the hour also. Quarter strike mantle which, as the name suggests, indicate each quarter hr by a collection of impacts to a bell or gong. Complying with on from this, is the Chiming mantle A chiming mantle plays a melody or song every hr, half hr or quarter hour. An example of this is the popular Westminster Chimes which is associated with many British as well as German mantle A Westminster chime mantle has a minimum of 4 gongs or bells. 4 notes are played at the initial quarter, eight at the 2nd or half past. Twelve notes are played at the third quarter as well as the complete sixteen notes are played at the hr with the strike device denoting the actual time then. There are several various other variations of chimes; Whittington, St Michael, Ave Maria to name simply a few. These chimes play on a minimum of eight gongs or bells. Anybody that is fortunate sufficient to possess an mantle needs to be knowledgeable about exactly how to care for it. Many individuals believe that mantle will run for life with no upkeep. This is incorrect, equally as you would not run a vehicle without getting it regularly serviced, so you ought to make sure a mantle is regularly serviced. A solution needs to be carried out by a specialist mantle repairer. They will certainly often strip the mantle down to its basic parts, clean each component extensively and restore the device, examining it at every stage. Sometimes a standard oil is all that is needed, if the mantle has actually been consistently attended to. Unique mantle oil is utilized for this purpose as well as is put on particular fueling oil factors. On no account must a mantle be splashed with maintenance oil; it will certainly fumble the mechanism as well as trigger added wear as well as consequently more cost over time. Many mantle need a complete overhaul, where wear in the device is attended to, wheel rotates re-polished and new mainsprings or various other components fitted. Many mantle are well over 100 years of ages as well as often require a great deal of repair work to the system and the instance to recover them back to their previous splendor. Some myths have actually progressed with mantle devices; the most usual is the belief that the owner has over injury the system. This is simply an effect of dust as well as wear, creating that very important power to be lost from the going barrel through the train of wheels to the escapement. It is only reasonably a short time ago that every town such as Rotherham, Chesterfield as well as Doncaster had a number of mantle makers and also repairers to assist the proprietor to care for their mantle Cities such as Sheffield as well as Nottingham would certainly have had far more mantle repairers and mantle manufacturers to cater for the requirements of the consumer. These days, dependable mantle repairers are becoming harder to locate. Usually repairers have actually retired as well as just look after their existing clientele. Typically neighborhood jewellers and antique dealers send mantle away to be repaired. There are nonetheless things that you can do to situate a mantle repairer. Firstly ask around, typically close friends as well as colleagues may recognize of a specialist mantle repairer. If you go to a mantle repair shop, you need to have the ability to view the workshop and also see the existing mantle that are being repaired. Bear in mind to ask great deals of inquiries as well, a great mantle repair shop will certainly offer you great deals of time and discuss precisely what is needed to be executed on your treasured wrist watch. Concerns you must ask; The length of time has the business been repairing mantle. Will certainly the mantle be totally insured whilst it is being fixed? Exists a guarantee on the job that will be performed? There ought to also be on the house for the price quote of the prices, too often mantle stores are billing for executing the price quotes so the outcome is you need to pay whatever the outcome. There should be no pressure for you to accept the quote. Constantly bear in mind as well, that an excellent mantle fixing workshop will certainly usually have a couple of weeks or months of back log so you may have to wait a bit for the eventual return of your mantle

Tales of Genius Ch. 1: Mystery in North Fort

(8/5/2018)

Thus I return to the Game Master’s screen, bearing a shirt that labels me of such![1]

Which is good, because there’s going to be no further updates with the Fallen Island D&D campaign. It’s, in theory, still running, but I found myself waiting for an excuse to get out, so I decided it’s healthier to just silently leave.[2]

As previously mentioned, I ran a short GURPS session with the Dungeon Fantasy Box set (and its I smell a Rat module), after which the group and I had a nice long talk and it was decided it was best not to return. Still have nostalgia looking through the revised third edition rule book, but it’s not a good fit for me or my players.[3] Too granular.

Which brings us to Genesys, a system I discovered relatively recently. It’s a generic system, has a narrative focus, and was used by a podcast I like and trust![4] Also, it’s not Powered by the Apocalypse or Fate, neither of which I’ve played but I’m just tired of hearing about them.

So, sit down and prepare yourself for the first episode of a SepiaDice Campaign (yet to be named).

CAST:

Eli Roberts: (Played by Lyons) Child of Clio. Doctor, travelling to write an medical text akin to Gray’s Anatomy

Olivia Grayson: (Played by Maddie) Child of Thalia. Apprentice to Eli.

Fromthe: (Played by Jose) Child of Calliope. Military veteran and current mercenary.

(These references to greek muses shall be explained another time)

DATE: WINTER 1911

SETTING: NORTH FORT

The northernmost town of Astree, sitting in The Tines, the mountain range that separates Astree from its northern neighbor Hervarar. North Fort was once a military fortress standing stalwart against the once consistent wars Harvarar inflicted upon Astree. However, a treaty was forged several generations ago putting an end to such conflict. Soldiers were still stationed in North Fort, just in case. Gradually, however, merchants travelled there more, families came to stay, and the fortress grew into a proper town.

It’s during a harsh winter that our story opens.

For there’s been an avalanche, cutting North Fort off from the rest of Astree. The town has been forced to start using their emergency supplies. However, this has revealed a problem.

North Fort’s mayor[5] has summoned three adventurers who happen to be in town for their own reasons.

The mayor lays out the situation: supplies have been going missing, which could spell doom for the town if the rationing keeps being undermined. No one can be above suspicion, which is why the mayor decided to go outside the City Watch. The party arrived after the thefts started (but before the avalanche), hence why the Mayor is choosing to trust them.

Eli accepts while the youthful Olivia and Fromthe distract themselves, possibly with yo-yos.

To help with the investigation, The Mayor supplies the Duty Roster of the guards stationed outside the emergency supply storage (a converted pantry filled with hard tack, potatoes, and probably barrels of water) and agreed to having a town guard meet them at the same location.

The party then immediately ignored this appointment to suspect the general high class and went to question the proprietress of the general goods store, Isabel. Fromthe, who is currently a merchant of undisclosed goods, tried to glean some information, but didn’t get anything new because Fromthe just annoyed Isabel.

The trio reconvene outside, talked in circles for a bit, then decided to ask a traveling merchant at the local tavern, The Public House.[6]

There, Fromthe once again learned it’s a small town without much of an upper class outside The Mayor and the one member of the clergy, both of whom have more social capital than financial wealth.

Finally, Eli takes his subordinates to the store house, where they meet Officier Morty.[7] They investigate the storehouse, and find a logbook with terrible handwriting, which noted Intellect Eli cannot decipher. Olivia could, however.

The logbook showed that initially the vanishing supplies were minor enough to be marked up as a counting error, before gradually becoming more brazen. The only visitors of note were The Mayor, Debra, the local priest, and a few guards.

Next stop: The local church of Polyhymnia!

Once a small, utilitarian chapel for a military base, it’s been renovated and expanded to a full, proper church.

Eli heads in while Olivia decides to scale the side of the building. And falling off. Fromthe catches her, but sprains his ankles, which Olivia fails to heal.  Inside, Eli discovers a detail I forgot to introduce earlier (but I managed to get away with!): townspeople are getting sick, and are coming to Father Brown for advice.

Eli questions the priest, who is quiet and unassuming, and agrees to see a few patients in a side room.  A skilled examination uncovers an unfortunate truth: it’s a mass poisoning with baneroot.[8] Oh no.  Olivia comes in and Eli fixes Fromthe’s ankles, and then sends them out to investigate where the baneroot may have originated.

Olivia, noted druidic sort, walks the streets, but finds nothing in the public places.

Fromthe again goes to The Public House, and finds a travelling plants peddler, who is drunk. The peddler reveals that, yes, he’s sold some baneroot (it’s got a pretty enough flower), but not to whom.

Then the plant seller passes out drunk, and Fromthe and Olivia grab his ledger and jot down notes.  While it does reveal a list of customers, the peddler has segregated the stock count from who bought what. However, a certain priest is included.

Meanwhile, Eli continues to question the sick. Seems that those regularly attending church haven’t gotten sick, and those who started attending after getting sick started getting better.[9]

After the party meets back up and compares notes, they go to the Mayor with their suspicions in regards to the poisoning.

The Mayor isn’t very excited, since he doesn’t really want to accuse such a prominent community member without firm evidence. Also, he hired the adventurers to find out who’s stealing supplies. Also, maybe tell the Guard Captain about crimes?

Now reminded of their job,[10] the party goes to question Debra to see if she knows if The Mayor might be the thief. Specifically, Fromthe is pushed to question her.

Since The Mayor hired them and Debra is likewise innocent, I handed the secretary to Lyons to role-play.[11] It gets awkward and I needed to feed the lack of information, but it was a pretty good exercise.

If your players are up for it, GMs should give them NPCs to play. It’s a good way to keep them engaged in scenes without their characters, and Genesys in particular handles it well since motivation can easily be determined by the social skill rolls, and information is easy enough to feed.

Now having progressed a little on the thefts, the party returns to the poisonings, choosing to just confront Father Brown themselves.  Not wanting to cause a scene, the party discreetly takes Father Brown into the side room to accuse him.  Father Brown attacks with magic. Eli and Fromthe take point while Olivia flees to do other things.

Because it was getting pretty late, I went ahead and ran combat until all three players got to use the combat mechanics (since the main goal was to test the system).

Olivia’s turn was breaking into Father Brown’s room and finding the poison and antidote plants growing, as well as the stolen supplies. It all comes together!

Now shot a little and seeing he’s outmatched, Father Brown is arrested and confesses. He’s a clergyman in a faraway town, and thus has little chance at promotion, so he had hoped to fake a miracle to increase his standing.

Mystery solved! Our heroes are awarded double rations, and all is well.

Except, the only way to the rest of Astree is still blocked by avalanche wreckage, and supplies are running low and are lightly poisoned.

But that’s a problem for another time.

In the end, the players claim to have had fun, and I didn’t feel like I was in a panic attack the whole time, so it was successful. Plus, the system was well regarded (even if we still need to get used to advantages and threats). I’m not ready to move onto the podcast phase myself, and I’m hoping to getting a little more character depth from the PCs, so I’ll just have to keep Game Mastering.

Until next time, may the dice make things interesting!

[1] Actual shirt I have now. It’s neat! [2] Basically, the DM officially lost all my good faith due to external matters, and I no longer wish to humor him. [3] Plus I’ve become disenchanted with Steve Jackson Games. Too much reliance on the Munchkin cash cow, too little support for GURPS and other games, and their use of Kickstarter needs to be discouraged. [4] Well, Campaign uses the Star Wars RPG system, but Genesys is that broadened. [5] Who I don’t think got named. The party named his secretary Debra, though. [6] North Fort are not noted for their inventive naming conventions. Practical people. [7] Named such because Lyons and I inexplicably opened the conversation with spineless voices. He switched when I named the guard. [8] Which I’m hoping is a fictitious plant, for my purposes. [9] This is something I should’ve been more on the ball with, and I should’ve done a better job intertwining the illness into the narrative earlier. [10] To be fair, it’s the same conspiracy, but they failed to connect them yet. [11] He likes playing flirty women.

Business Case Analysis on Malden Mills

         Choosing to value people rather than gaining profits is what Malden Mills pursued. But do ethical decisions pay off in the long run? In December 1995, the company, employees, customers, and the community surrounding Lawrence, Massachusetts mourn over the horrific factory fire of Malden Mills owned by Aaron Feuerstein. Due to the burning incident, the factory was ruined including the lives of thousands of employees because they could not have their jobs anymore to make a living. But then, the CEO of Malden Mills showed ethical behavior when he decided to keep all 3000 employees at full pay even the production halted and he would not gain any profit. Feuerstein valued his employees and so he decided not to take the $300 million insurance money because he wanted to rebuild his factory in the same location to get his workers back to work. The problem is that he refused to relocate knowing that the factory’s current location will cost him higher taxes, high labor, and the place was not anymore an economically attractive area. After the factory was rebuild and all his employees got back to work and began their operations, it gained a lot of media attention, suppliers, buyers, and employees showed support to the company all because of the good intentions of the CEO. Challenges emerged when the factory began its operations on the marketing and production sides. One, the sales in their fleece products went down due to low demand because of the warm winter season. Next, the company cannot compete with imported products because it was cheaper than those of what they offer to the market. For this reason, consumers already went to their competitors and get their goods from other suppliers. Besides, unforeseen events and mismanagement led Feuerstein to bankruptcy due to heavy debts. CEO Aaron Feuerstein’s response to the crisis that happened in their organization possessed a good and strong leadership although, it did not result in the sustainability of the business because it failed to consider other factors that led to the downfall of his company.

            Malden Mills Industries, Inc. is a family business known for its Polartec made from lightweight fabrics, moisture resistance, and thermal qualities worldwide (reference for business, n.d.). The company’s success with their product line was because they had all their skilled workers from chemists to engineers and to textile designers who continuously innovate and improve their manufacturing and product design to give satisfaction to customers. Lawrence, Massachusetts where Malden Mills is located was home to textile manufacturing but when an economic decline happened during the middle decades of the twentieth century many companies decided to leave the town and move to the South where land and labor were cheaper. However, Malden Mills stayed because they know that the surrounding community was relying on them through its payroll and taxes. According to reference for business (n.d.), the company’s overall sales in 1986 went up to $150 million from their constant innovation and when the company expanded into Europe, total sales grew up to $200 million in 1989. Also, the company has taken the lead in manufacturing their fabrics for they have this water treatment plant which helps in conserving energy and reduce waste, air emissions, and the number of chemicals released in production. Moreover in 1992 and beyond, the company continuously had strong sales due to new product lines, more people and firms to supply to and the company even provided sponsorship to U.S. athletes during Winter Olympics in 1992 (reference for business, n.d.). Before the fire incident happened in 1995, the company already projected that their sales would exceed up to $400 million from the changes that they administered. However, things did not work out and the company failed to meet its goals and objectives.

            To come up with a good decision in the situation of Malden Mills it is necessary to check all areas of considerations to ensure the stability of the company. These considerations include the rise of technological advancement that will impact the future of the textile industry if the company will consider this as a threat and not as an opportunity to think forward and develop some strategies to adapt. The second consideration is the rapid increase in competition which includes the foreign competitors for they offer cheaper products that consumers desire. The third thing to consider is to get help with all the necessary funds needed by having a partnership with others and find outside investors to get funding for Malden Mills restoration.

            Assessing how the business might cope after a disaster would be hard to imagine. From my perspective, deciding to rebuild the company was a good decision since it is a family-owned business. If I were the CEO, I would not let any circumstances destroy what my family worked hard for to start and run the business. However, CEO Feuerstein could have used the incident as an opportunity to relocate his factory where labor costs are cheaper and with lower taxes. As a consequence of abandoning the area apparently, his employees will be left behind. But if he would not decide to do this alternative, he would not reach the maximum earning potential of the company. What he could do to make his employees decide to relocate as well or make an effort to still serve the company even if it is relocated is to give incentives to the employees. Incentives like free housing near the factory when the company already gain profits. This way of offering incentives will motivate employees to still work for the company.

        Moreover, in the case of Malden Mills, it is truly a heroic decision of CEO Feuerstein to hold on to his employees and pay them their full salary until the company is rebuilt since they are one of the important assets of the company. However, rebuilding a company takes a lot of costs, and paying the employees while not being productive incurred losses. The decision of Feuerstein to reconstruct his factory has both benefits and costs. It seems likely that reconstructing the factory was a good idea because it gained a lot of support from customers and suppliers due to the good image brought by the ethical decision of the CEO. On the other hand, Feuerstein could have done something to make his employees productive while in the process of reconstruction to not incur losses because the restoration itself costs a lot to the company. He could have planned to rebuild his company phase by phase and not the whole building all at once while not having any revenue coming in. Once some portion of the building is rebuilt, he could have made his workers productive and start the production gradually. Since he has a lot of employees and full staffing is not possible due to small production, he could have planned to adopt a skeletal workforce in which only a minimum number of employees will be required to work and follow a work schedule arrangement. In this way, it would be a win-win situation both for the company and the workers until the company recovered.

         Furthermore, keeping up with the market is very challenging especially when the environment might cost the business and put it at risk. Even though Malden Mills had its way to restart the operation, the unforeseen circumstances affected the business. The company could have done strategies to compete with the lower-priced competitor overseas by also lowering prices. This could be done without risking profitability by decreasing the costs of the product to effectively stay ahead of the competition. Now, for the sales of the firms’ fleece product that went down due to warm winter, since it is a seasonal product, they should have a strategy to keep this product afloat and thrive during the offseason. An alternative to solve this problem is to offer a new product line like a thinner kind of fleece that better serves the seasons. In this strategy, their product lines can attract customers at any time of year.

          Now, to effectively accomplish the proposed solutions above, the CEO of Malden Mills should therefore reimagine and redesign his business decisions. The first is to analyze the business judgments and ideas if it is in the long-term or is only for the short-term. What the company needs is to develop an effective strategic plan. In this case, the company can use Issue-Based Strategic Planning as a tool to develop an action plan. This kind of strategic planning is an approach focusing on analyzing challenges and considering factors that affect business growth, internally and externally (Bush,2016). This model suggests using a SWOT analysis to find ways that would solve the issue and recognize an opportunity that the company could take advantage of within the situation. This process should be done until the goals and objectives are met. Furthermore, the alternatives presented above will gain benefits in a way that reconstructing the factory gradually will improve the future potential of the company in serving its consumers. On the other hand, since the restoration would be by phase and resources are limited the probable cost would be slow and small in productivity. Now, to overcome this the organization should adapt to the changes and their goal should not be to grow fast but to grow better.    

         “The common good” is not only an important business principle because exclusion of it would not shape business ethics. This principle is the foundation that balances the goodness in every action of an organization or an individual. The common good is a principle that allows us to recognize not only for our own welfare but also the welfare of our community as we take actions as an individual and as a group. It encourages us to determine how, we, as an individual benefit from society and ask who can benefit from our actions. In this way, we could reflect whether our certain action benefits or destroy what makes up a common good. In my own opinion, businesses exist to increase wealth for their owners and at the same time be socially responsible. Some people may think that business owners are greedy and what they always want is to increase their wealth. Well, maybe there are businesses like that, but those firms will not succeed in the long run because businesses cannot exist and be profitable without doing their social responsibility. Every business plays a role in our society and each of them has its own specific objectives besides profit. Furthermore, each of us has a personal code of ethics that reminds us of our limitation and tell us how to act. As business leaders, we are expected to behave as professionals and be responsible to make ethical decisions in any situation. Thus, when a strict code of ethics is enforced, business leaders will have fewer opportunities to be unethical. In addition, if you are a business leader and the public knows that you comply with the code of ethics you will surely gain people’s trust, improve your credibility, people will think highly of you, and you will contribute to building an ethical environment.

Reference:

Reference for business. (n.d.). Malden Mills Industries, Inc. - Company Profile, Information, Business Description, History, Background Information on Malden Mills Industries, Inc. Retrieved from https://www.referenceforbusiness.com/history2/30/Malden-Mills-Industries-Inc.html

Bush, T. (2016, May 18). Strategic Planning Models: How to Put Strategic Planning into Action. Retrieved from https://pestleanalysis.com/strategic-planning-models/

Bojack Horseman (Season 4) - A Review

Back in the ‘90s, in a world populated by both humans and anthropomorphic animals, BoJack Horseman was in a very famous TV show. It was a silly, vacuous, ‘Full House’ type of show named ‘Horsin’ Around’, and it was about a horse adopting three human orphans and getting into various wacky shenanigans for half an hour each week, complete with terrible catch-phrases. After nine seasons, the show was cancelled, and since then, BoJack has lived in soul-crushing limbo.

          BoJack is famous and wealthy enough to have anything he could want, and somehow, he even manages to get away with being shitty to strangers and friends without losing their misplaced support. Adoring fans and the general public are happy to be around him, but they don’t want to get close enough to know him, and his friends consistently find just enough reason to never quite sever their connection to BoJack. They allow themselves to be pulled into his orbit and find it difficult to leave, often because they’re dealing with their own personal issues.

          While you can’t help but cathartically enjoy spending time with BoJack for his cynical jokes and his egotistic indulgences, you slowly realise that he is a sad, lost person. He hasn’t done anything important or fulfilling for the best part of two decades, and there was little substance to the thing that made him famous in the first place. He has made mistakes and hurt people, but what’s worse is that, despite his efforts to be better, he keeps finding new ways to damage himself and those around him. Born from a home that showed him no love but saddled him with huge expectations, BoJack went into the world, got famous, and it still isn’t enough. He’s desperate for some answer that will fix his sadness, but the more he tries and fails, the more he fears that he is broken beyond repair; that he’s always been broken, and the only thing he can ever do in life is repeat the same cycle of ruining everything of value he touches, and getting nothing in return to sooth his endless dissatisfaction. BoJack is a reverse Midas, doomed to never hold onto golden things.

Did I mention this is an animated comedy?

          Well, a year ago I watched all three seasons of ‘BoJack Horseman’, this show from Netflix that really deserves your attention. It’s witty and very amusing at times, but it stuck with me less for its comedy, and more for its powerful drama (though its sense of humour strikes a chord with my own more and more as the seasons progress). Its moments of humanity and sincerity resonated with me because it looked at characters who felt real, whose issues, personalities, and traumas felt developed enough for the inhabitants of this ludicrous world of animal people to feel tangible. There were no predictable arcs, no clean progression for the characters to undertake and come out as fully-adjusted people with all their problems neatly resolved as a result. With some shows, you’re watching to see how things end, and discover how the fictional characters have lived once their story is finished. ‘BoJack Horseman’ is not about endings, but the state of ongoing. Its characters aren’t heading to some obvious end-point, they’re just endeavouring to sustain themselves and find meaning in a world that often robs us of control. It’s not a neat story where the main characters find an answer to their worries and then get to live their lives free from trouble. It’s a series of attempts to figure out life made by people hoping to find some philosophical solution to the daily problems they face, and then those convictions are tested on a day-to-day basis until something bad happens to make them break under pressure. Because in life, nothing really concludes. There’s always tomorrow, and there’s no way to know for sure if you’ll be okay with whatever it has in store.

          And yet as scary, as impossibly daunting as that is, we never stop hoping. BoJack often talks as if he’s given up on ever improving, surrendering himself to the notion that he is a lost cause. But every now and then, he manages to find a glimmer of hope to cling onto, whether it’s through the little moments of goodness he sometimes finds within himself, or by interpreting external signs in the world around him as proof that he should keep trying to move forward. Life is impossibly hard, but we somehow find the strength within ourselves to keep facing it. That’s what ‘BoJack Horseman’ is about, and that’s why it’s one of my favourite shows.

          That is my review for this show overall. I think, or at least hope, it works as a spoiler-free introduction for the uninitiated, as well as a reflection on the show’s successes for people who are already familiar with it.

          But I do want to review the specific themes of Season 4, which recently released in its entirety and is what prompted me to write this. I’ll still keep this spoiler-free, but this is just a way of processing the ideas this season prompted in me, and my way of articulating why this might just be ‘BoJack Horseman’s best season yet.

Season 4

A lot happened this season, so I’m going to try and get a handle on it by looking at what each of the five main characters went through during Season 4.

          Todd, the undeterrable force of optimistic positivity who crashed on BoJack’s couch one night and never left, continues to be an uplifting presence in the show that saves it from becoming too bleak. His development doesn’t occur in an arc that you notice gradually unfolding each episode, so you may think he comes off a bit short at first. However, episode 3, joyously titled ‘Hooray! Todd Episode!’, works so well as a self-contained thorough examination of his role, both in the show and in the lives of those around him, that you don’t feel lacking in rich Todd content. Considering how heart-wrenching the rest of the show can be, it’s immensely rewarding to see Todd tend to himself and his own identity, quite possibly gaining the most healthy and content mindset in the entire series.

          I’m glad I recently rewatched the entire series before Season 4 came out, because I had completely forgotten where the last episode of Season 3 had left Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter. If the previous season wasn’t fresh in my mind, I would’ve been blindsided by the swiftness with which we move into Mr. Peanutbutter running for governor. In the past, Diane has gone from potentially being the most mature and level-headed character in the show, to being almost as unsure about her life and as disillusioned with her career as BoJack. Meanwhile, her husband Mr. Peanutbutter, a yellow Labrador Retriever whose naivety and relentless happiness would be grating if his chipper charisma wasn’t so infectious, has stayed more or less the same. He occasionally shows his emotional insight and how he is less oblivious than you might think, but he’s still the same chipper dog we knew back in Season 1. Their relationship is fascinating to watch, as you initially think they’re completely wrong for each other, until you start to notice the good things they do for one another, and you start to root for them. But as Diane starts doubting herself more and her patience with Mr. Peanutbutter stretches thinner and thinner, you start to worry. Seeing what has been building up for three seasons come to a head in Season 4 is explosive, but not so dramatic all at once to make it apparent which way their relationship is heading. This fictional marriage is believable, organic, and a brilliant illustration of how people are often drawn to relationships that make them feel like they can be a better person, even if they fear that this is not who they really are.

          Princess Carolyn is one of my favourite characters throughout the show (though if you ask me on another day I could say the same for any of the five main cast members). When we first met her, this pink cat was introduced as a side character in BoJack’s life; she was his ex-girlfriend and the agent that bailed him out of the troubles he got himself into. However, since ‘Say Anything’, the seventh episode of Season 1, ‘BoJack Horseman’ has fleshed out Princess Carolyn’s character. She’s torn between her romantic side and the pride she takes in her work, as it allows her to help people, and she believes she’s good at it. Her life is a tug and pull between two things she dearly wants, but she can never quite keep hold of either of them. The impact of one episode focusing on her in Season 4 was admittedly lessened for me because (without getting into spoilers) I wasn’t buying it and the episode reminded me of one ‘How I Met Your Mother’ episode which it ended up following a similar path to, so I saw the ending coming. However, the progression of her character was still terrific to watch. Princess Carolyn is the master of keeping up a juggling act even when things aren’t looking too good, but in Season 4, we finally saw her stumble as she lost some faith in herself.

          Finally, BoJack’s storyline, as always, left me feeling raw in the most bittersweet and satisfying way. The sixth episode, ‘Stupid Piece of Sh*t’, gives us a telling glance at the inner workings of BoJack’s mind. It provides a poignant look at how crippling anxieties and self-doubt manifest themselves on a day-to-day basis and why they can feel so inescapable at times, while also somehow managing to be hilarious through narration that can hit close to home as we find it mirroring our own thoughts. Hollyhock is a welcome new presence in the show. She represents a more innocent, younger version of BoJack that has come into his life at a key moment when he has the potential to change and become a better person. The moments when she challenges his cynicism create an entertaining and often hilarious dynamic, and BoJack’s trepidation around her is understandable and heartbreaking.

          My favourite element of Season 4, however, was the storyline with Beatrice, and the devastating way this culminates. The only major criticism I had rewatching the first three seasons was how the cruel behaviour of BoJack’s parents, and how they are responsible for many of BoJack’s deep-rooted issues, seemed to be exaggerated to almost cartoonish effect. These scenes would be darkly humorous, but given how seriously the show took its deconstruction of BoJack and the rest of his life, it seemed mismatched whenever it would have a joke where Butterscotch or Beatrice would be excessively cruel to a young BoJack. In the absence of any explanation as to why they were so harsh towards BoJack, the only way we could take their mean nature was as a dark joke about the cruel unfairness of life. Season 4 retroactively fixes this issue for me, because it provides context by characterising Beatrice. We, as omniscient observers, are informed of the past, and are allowed to see how BoJack has inherited the wounds of the past and is haunted by family ghosts. But despite our omniscience, we are powerless to help BoJack, who may not fully comprehend what he has inherited, and can only ask why he suffers as he feels its effects. ‘BoJack Horseman’ has gained a reputation for having each season’s penultimate episode be a gut-wrenching climax to the dramatic thread of each season, and Season 4’s is no different. I will say nothing more about it, because it’s the kind of television that is so excellently crafted and so not worth spoiling that it feels clumsy to even attempt to describe it through words.

          Season 4, like each of ‘Bojack Horseman’s seasons before it, has more going on than I can adequately address in one review. It continues to deepen its lead characters to the point where they have gone far beyond being fictional and start feeling like real people living tangible lives that we are checking in on. The humour and the drama has never been balanced better, and I would argue that each half is at the top of their game. As I reached the final shot of the season and heard the closing music, feeling full of more hope and happiness for BoJack than I had ever felt before, as fleeting as it may be, I knew that this really was one of my favourite shows.

10/10.

Sad, silly, beautiful, and sobering, ‘BoJack Horseman’ is brilliant television with exceptional character writing. It is worth your time.

...I started listening attentively to teachers and I stopped drawing cartoons in class. I started pre-reading topics before every class and stopped socialising until the teacher comes in. I started using free time during short break and lunch to do some assignments to offload. I started completing my home works at home instead of waiting to copy from my classmates in the following morning. I started reading on the bus on my way home and to school. I started consulting from those who were ahead of me and believed that for every problem there is a solution. I also started testing myself before I write a test from my teachers, a golden strategy. School suddenly became fascinating again. ...

FROM AVERAGE TO OUTSTANDING (HIGH SCHOOL BREAKTHROUGH)

My Name is Mazwi Thabiso Magagula. Today I want to share with you my High School Journey. This is dedicated to everyone who may be reading or listening to this, If you’re in school I hope you get inspired.

It all started at Mabhibha Primary School, now known as Buhlebuyeza Primary, in 2003. Yes I am one of those who skipped grade zero for reasons I don’t wish to know. I don’t remember much details about my primary school days, because you know everything was on automatic pilot then, but I do remember that I never repeated a class and I passed my Standard 5 external examination with a good second class and I was exhilarated I was going to secondary high school. A new school and new environment was worth exploring.

In 2010, I was admitted to one of the local High Schools, Dvokolwako High to pursue my Junior Certificate. I felt like “I made it” until what I then perceived ‘’discrimination’’ popped in. There they were streaming us into select classes in accordance with our primary school performances. An activity I hated and obviously deemed unfair and painful. Honestly I felt discriminated. How could they? But then I also thought to myself “Who I am, to be in the same class with the most brilliant students?’’ I started to recall that I was from Mabhibha, a school which recently tested the bottom 3, worst performing primary schools in the country. I was crushed. I felt inferior and unwelcomed.

There were five classrooms reserved for form 1s that year. Form 1 A to E. The cream pupils were loaded in the A classroom, yes your merits and first classes. On the B classroom there were the better pupils so I thought. There was not much difference between the C, D and E classrooms but, you know, there was no way you wouldn’t feel like the dulliest pupil in the whole form 1 if you were like me in Form 1E. I hated myself, I hated the system, I despised my colleagues (well more than half of the class were regular culprits as expected from Eeee pupils), and you know everyone would get a beating for their sins. I hated this streams, I still hate them today.

I was getting Ds snaps in tests and exams my entire form 1 and it got worse in form 2. More Eeee pupils were dumped into our classroom from other schools and others chucked out by the system from the A classroom. It was better in form 2 because we had an additional classroom form 2F, worse than US and it was nicknamed “THE ZOO”. By the way, I literally failed my form 2. The number of subjects passed were down and I also got an Eeee in English. Luckily there were a lot of form1s pumping to replace me and I was pushed to form 3 on a wheel barrow. Failed and promoted. While everyone thought I was smart and quiet, I was actually an Eeee pupil. At least I was amongst the best in my classroom ;>.

School didn’t fascinate me back then. During prominent events like the Speech and Prize giving day I would always stay home. That was for the A pupils, so I thought. And yes I was right. I always thought everything good was given to the A pupils, even good teachers :>. The A pupils were really doing great (they had all the good teachers too) but instead of being inspired I was pissed. Why? When you are not the favourite kid at home you always given dirty Jobs, you eat shit, you are taught shit and at the end of the day all you know is shit. That was harsh right? But that’s how it felt to be kicked out of the classroom during learning ours to clean some dirty abandoned teacher’s warehouse because your colleagues were making noise, while the other classes carried on with learning. If there was something bad that happened in school, we had all fingers pointing to our class. I felt like Junk.

So how did I change? Mixed classes. Now these were the only classes I considered fair. My commercial classes were a real escape. Here I met other pupils from the other classes and a few of them from the A class. We all met to learn accounting and business studies from one teacher and in the same environment. This was the very first place I discovered and started believing in the power of association. The A pupils were by far performing better that the rest of us and soon enough I began to master how they were excelling. I can say the process took longer because we had a few of mixed classes and we spent a lot of time with our Eeee colleagues. Trust me it was hard for me to understand cute little sayings like “Hard work pays” at that age, but I got the chance to see it work. I applied it and the results were amazing. I began to understand that hard work always beats talent when talent thinks he is too good to work hard. First business studies topic test in form 3 (E) I got 96% and two guys from The A class scored 98% and for the first time I was the 3rd highest in my business studies class. That wasn’t much but I was thrilled by HOW I got that 96%.

It was 2012 and we went through the Waya Waya Teachers Strike and also added our own shortly after that as pupils of Dvokolwako High enraged by a delay of examination timetables. I wrote my JC examinations and again I passed with a ‘not so bad’ second class. Just like most people. I wasn’t really happy about the second class thing, but there was something different about this second class! I had a cute symbol A from business studies. I wasn’t fascinated by the A for the sake of being a cute symbol but by the fact that I knew exactly what I did to get that A from business studies which I didn’t do to the other subjects. As a wise man once said, succeed ones and everything that follows next will be a copy and paste. From that day I wanted to replicate the strategies I used to excel in business studies to the other subjects.

To my surprise, when I registered for form 4 I found my name on form 4A’s class list. Yes, there I was in a midst of wolfs. At first I was like “Oh my gosh I am going to be chowed fr good and forever” and then it came to my mind that I wasn’t thrown here, instead I earned myself a space here. See for the first time in my life I take responsibility for my academic performance. Why? Because I made it! Confucius was right when he said we are all self-made but only the successful will admit it. I spent my entire secondary in a gutter and I never admitted that I put myself there, now this!! Yes I was proud of myself but there was also this score-sheet thing that freaked the hell out of me. I was scared that my name will pop up in the worst section of this sheet. You don’t want that to happen to you, especially if your girlfriend is getting straight As in another class. So I hard to work my ass off. I knew how to get outstanding results from my JCs business studies so why not die trying to get them?

Trust me in this one, I wasn’t, at all, thinking about being the best in class instead I just wanted I just wanted to clear my name out of the worst section of that sheet of paper. From my very first class in form 4 I started listening attentively to teachers and I stopped drawing cartoons in class. I started pre-reading topics before every class and stopped socialising until the teacher comes in. I started using free time during short break and lunch to do some assignments to offload. I started completing my home works at home instead of waiting to copy from my classmates in the following morning. I started reading on the bus on my way home and to school. I started consulting from those who were ahead of me and believed that for every problem there is a solution. I also started testing myself before I write a test from my teachers, a golden strategy. School suddenly became fascinating again.

First test in form 4 (A), Physical Science test 1, Mr Simelane brought back out test scripts and started distributing them to us. I also got mine and I opened it. My eyes couldn’t believe what they saw. On a serious note, I first thought it was a 41% cause it was hand written, but really it was a 91% decorated with a shining gold star. I was evidently shaking. Mr Simelane immediately announced that the highest was 91% without mentioning a name. WOOOOW!! All the hairs on my arm and legs stood tall with prickling sensation. For the first time in my whole academic life I was on top of my class. And this was not just a class it was the ‘A’ class. This was me being the highest over the whole form 4.

I was thrown into wolfs and I came back leading the pack! Throughout 2013, in form 4 I wasn’t always the best pupil but I was constantly testing that position. I was way beyond the worst section of my class’s score sheet. At this moment I was no longer driven by fear of the score sheet but the hunger to become the best. For the first time in school, I was interested in a Speech and Prize giving day and guess what? There was none that year! NONE! Completely Nothing. I should have felt bad, but I was perfectly fine. I had my final results in form 4 they were the coolest I had ever seen.

My first encounter with being ‘the best’ was when I was in form 5, still (A) :>. Remember I said it was mixed classes that turned my academic life around? There was something else, when I was a toddler, I stabbed myself in my left eye with a knife. I have always had eyes problems in school and I was getting visionary impaired gradually. Luckily one of my teachers noticed that I had trouble getting what was written on the chalk board and I was invited to seat on the first line. Believe me this simple shift of places was a real game changer. I became more focused, more organised and I started participating more frequently in class. A killer combination.

First monthly tests in Form 5 I got aggregate 92% and yes I was the man. From that day I never wanted to be second again. SGCSE results came out I was ranked among the top 30 pupils in the whole country and yeah that was something. There I was swinging with 4 A+s a B and two Cs. 3 of those A+s were from all the mixed classes I attended and one from the A class. And yeah it was mixed classes that threw me to varsity.

For your inspiration, throughout my entire academic life I have learned that; the only way to excel in any exam is to have confidence in the exam room, and the only way to have confidence in the exam room is to know everything that the examiner may possibly ask, by heart.

Improbability

In the vast hall, filled with a sky-purple shimmer, with columns soaring to a height that is inaccessible to the eyes of ordinary mortals, filled with the energy of the omnipresent ether images flickered on the screen in what seemed to be a waving mirror in a carved wooden frame. It was perfectly visible for the two observers that were standing near this mirror how a male human, inspired by the common combat impulse, was at this point of time blocking a deadly enemy weapon with his own body, thus giving his comrades a chance to climb out of the trench and go to the offensive in this battlefront sector. Here his body unevenly shudders, soaking up a deadly leaden stream, and as if in time with this act, the frosted surface of the mirror shakes in response. Here in the last dying effort, this soldier clasps the enemy machine gun with both of his hands, and his blood-stained lips whisper their silent farewell “hurrah!” After a brief moment, floating in the mirror images forever capture in the ether his fading gaze together with the rushing up to the sky from the mutilated chest light-bearing spirit, who has spread out his wings like a finally released prisoner. The mirror fades out, and the images-waves gradually disappear, as if the sea of colorful information has once again come to a long-awaited calmness…

“You must certainly remember, Orianna, that I did warn you in advance of this possible ending of his earthly journey?” and the elderly, fair-haired angel with the scar on his right cheek stared at his companion as soon as the Hall of Destinies fell silent again.

“Mr. Arael, I remember that according to your calculations, the probability of such self-sacrifice was…”

“Our initial calculations, Orianna. Since then, much has changed both in the external and internal worlds. The death of his brother at the battlefront, the fatal illness of his mother, the beginning of the siege of his native Petersburg… All these events simultaneously seemed to break and strengthen his determination to fight to the end. But in the initial calculations we made, as you must remember, he should have lived almost to the end of this war.”

“Mr. Arael, do you mean that I have failed to pass the entrance test and therefore cannot be admitted to your Department of probabilistic forecasting of the worlds of free will?”

“No, Orianna, they don’t. Many of your calculations were correct for the man’s previous choices – and we, as representatives of the probabilities department, never ask newcomers to be one hundred percent accurate, which is only available to the Almighty.”

“Thank you. I really hope so…”

“Then don’t forget to introduce John to our department. This knowledge will be a reward for the feat he performed on Earth.”

Having that said, the head of the probabilistic forecasting department, wise with many eons of experience, tapped with a smile his future budding colleague on the shoulder and smoothly pointed his wing at the door. The one named as Orianna nodded joyfully and hastily, doing her best to hide the flicker of her smile from her mentor, flapped her small, girlish wings, and tenderly fluttered out of the hall.

* * *

“Looking strange, huh?” Orianna laughed brightly, watching how the etheric-clad spirit of John was looking around in surprise as if he still did not fully understand, or would never admit even to himself, that the life of the soul does not finally end with the death of the body, no matter what these endless and finally ending their journeys earthly materialists and skeptics might say otherwise.

“Oh… What a strange and wondrous vision… I feel as if I have died and gone to Paradise, and the most beautiful woman on earth is bending over me like an angel…”

“It’s all true! Well, almost everything…” Orianna said in confusion, playfully adjusting a curl of her sun-red hair with her wing. “As you can see, having “died” back on Earth, you didn’t die after all. Great, right?”

“Is… is this… always the case here?”

“No, not always. By the way, it depends on you, humans, where you will end up. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you: “Welcome to the seventh heaven!”

“It must be truly the seventh sky. How beautiful it’s around here!” both parted and still not parted with his life John wondered while looking around and walking on the likeness of sky bridges-rainbows among iridescent pearl-colored islands-clouds.

“Tread carefully, it’s like walking on water… A little doubt in the reality of all that is happening – and you will instantly begin to sink into the waves of the ether,” with a wary look at the staggering John said sunny-red-haired angelic girl, narrowing her almond-shaped eyes. “Let me back you up, I’ve got enough faith in the Almighty for a simple skywalk!” she said with another graceful smile, and hastily took John “under her wing”.

Thus, they went on for some time, no matter how relative time as a concept would be in this world.

“But why I ended up here? And what do you plan to do now?” after a while, John decided to break the long-kept silence.

“And then, according to my instructions, I’ll give you a tour of our improbably probabilistic department. It’s over there, a little way off,” and Orianna waved her wing away. “And you are here, in the seventh heaven, solely because you have earned it according to the Divine Law. For the feat of the spirit. Many of you Earthmen, by the way, never deserve anything like this…” she added thoughtfully, looking down at her feet. “They go straight down there,” she added, waving her wing, “and never come back.”

“And what lies down there?”

“Far, far below us – there lies the Abyss. And demons. Sca-a-a-ry,” Orianna added reluctantly, shivering as if trying to push away an old unpleasant memory. “But you don’t have to think about it. And I don’t want to think about those who suffer there, either. Catch up!” she changed the subject abruptly and started jumping across the clouds.

* * *

“And this is where we make maps of human destinies, do you see?” Orianna winked, pointing to a holographic projection of a library in the center of which at that very moment several dozens of open books were gently floating in the ether.

“Do you want to say that our destinies were predefined by you before we were born?”

“Almighty forbid you, most certainly not!” Orianna flapped her wings, staring at John as if he was an incomprehensible infant. “We give you the freedom of choice and the right to determine your own fate. But that doesn’t mean that we are not allowed to calculate in advance how likely and what exactly you will choose one day in your lives, right?” and the curly-haired celestial girl playfully smiled again. “My last trial job was to calculate the new probabilities of some of your possible choices. But I was mistaken, to my own shame. You people can be very unpredictable at times!” as if being seriously offended, she pouted her lips.

“And what did I do wrong?”

“That’s the point, you have made everything right! But… not in the way I originally thought it would be. And this, by the way, is one of the main challenges in the work of our entire department – taking into account the free will of people. In deterministic worlds, everything is different, simpler. But here…”

“And what does that mean – deterministic worlds?”

“Well, they are those in which there are no beings endowed with a soul and therefore possessing free will. Once your Earth was strictly deterministic too, and we could – not without some effort, of course – calculate what and where would happen on it at any given moment of time. And now, with the advent of another civilization, everything… everything is not the same as it was before,” Orianna sighed sadly and lowered her wings. “I hope you understand me at least a little, even though you’re… a human. You are, by the way, not the first human I’ve seen here. I mean, here in our department.”

“There were others?”

“Of course. We need to somehow convey information about the most probable events we have calculated to the inhabitants of your civilization, right? So, we gave some of them such tasks.”

“You mean that…”

“You call them prophets,” Orianna finished his thought.

“I think I can guess at least a few people who visited your seventh heaven department at least once…”

“In fact, there was an order of magnitude more of them. Unfortunately, not everyone was able to remember their own obligations back on Earth. And people simply did not want to listen to many of them,” as she said these words, Orianna thoughtfully moved the tip of her finger through the air, drawing out unfamiliar figures.

“…And what do these mapped lines mean?” and John pointed to the thin lines of light that intersected with each other like cobwebs and connected the sparkling, shining balls of light on the multi-dimensional map, which, by the whim of an angelic hand, had just materialized directly in front of the slightly startled John’s eyes a few otherworldly seconds ago.

“Lines of related destinies with indicated degree and form of influence. Individuals have fewer of them, and public figures have more. Yet sometimes one in the field is still a mighty warrior.”

“And the light globes?”

“Moments of making fateful decisions. Points of bifurcation, in your pseudo-scientific language. After fixing each such point on the timeline, the destiny map is automatically restructured. This, by the way, is a map of your past life. And this point,” and Orianna pointed to the brightest of them, which no longer emanated light, “describes the moment when you sacrificed yourself for the lives of others and for the sake of their upcoming victory.”

“You mean they are going to finally win this war?”

“It would be more correct to say that the probability of your country’s victory is… But, yes, they will prevail. All our preliminary calculations demonstrated that.”

“That just drives one crazy!”

“I wouldn’t rush it if I were you,” Orianna replied, laughing. “But for beginners, it sometimes truly seems unimaginable and improbable at the same time – the possibility to know the probabilities in advance. And I’m already used to being, so to speak, a celestial accountant. Even though we don’t have such a position here.”

“In other words, you can calculate everything? Up to any point in the future?”

“Everything is known only to the Almighty. That’s why you were once told that not a single hair would fall from your head without his knowledge. Mine, too, by the way.”

“May God forgives me for being tactless, but… but I think I like the way your hair looks… as well as your face… and your eyes… and that smile…”

“Really?” Orianna asked, confused. “You’re not the first person to tell me that, but it’s always pleasant to hear it, especially from humans!”

“Can you tell me if I can… go back to Earth later? Help my beloved ones there?”

“Well, you won’t be able to go back at that time, because the law of ether’s waves won’t allow it. Fifty years from now, it will be. Don’t you worry, time is a highly diverse concept, especially here! You should look around for a while, get used to it, at least change your ethereal clothes, so that you don’t have to wander around the seventh heaven in a soldier’s uniform for five dozen earth years! By then, I’ll have calculated a new fate for you. Whom do you want to become again, haven’t you decided? We could really use some prophets in that world of yours…”

“I… I’ll have to think about it. Thank you for your… kindness. So where can I come up with a new ethereal look here?”

“The hall of embodied fantasies is a little to the left and right of our all-central… well, let me take you there by myself, or you’ll surely get confused with our coordinate system. Give me your hand!”

“I thank you!”

With these words, the spirit of a man known as John, still shining with an otherworldly light, took the warm angelic hand in his own and gently, tenderly and timidly kissed it.

“And this, perhaps, was truly inevitable,” Orianna whispered to herself with a smile.

10.06.2020

Church Growth through a United Group of Branch Churches U.G.B.C.

A United Group of Branch Churches UGBC

Traditionally, church growth is achieved through the swelling up of a single church until it seats thousands and thousands of people. However, there is another way to achieve church growth in our modern and complex world.

Through a network of several churches in different locations, you can achieve the same numbers as you would with a single huge church.

You can achieve church growth by setting up a united group of branch churches (UGBC) that are related and considered as one big family. This united group of churches would be the same church but in different locations. This group of branch churches will function as one unit with one team of leaders and pastors managing the church in different locations.

This group of churches will also function as one financial unit with incomes from the different locations. The financial capabilities of this united group of branch churches will be far greater than any single church.

Independent Mission Branch Churches (IMBC)

This united group of churches is in sharp contrast to independent missions that are sent out from the church. Independent branch churches are not the same as “one church in different locations”. They are “different” churches in different locations.

These independent mission branch churches have independent leaders and independent financial systems.

They do not depend on each other for anything.

Independent mission churches may remit a percentage of its income to the headquarters.

The pastors of these churches have their own visions and dreams of what they want to do.

The pastors of these independent mission churches do not relate closely to the parent church.

Advantages of having a united group of branch churches (UGBC)

1. History has proved that united groups of branch churches are very often the most stable and established congregations everywhere. These networks of churches are sometimes called denominations. There are several well-known networks of churches in the world today.

A united group of churches may be the way God wants to grow your church.

2. Belonging to a network of churches sometimes eliminates the instability that characterizes young independent churches. The institutional stagnation in a denomination may be a lesser evil compared to the advantages that come from belonging to a group of related churches.

3. In a network of branch churches, there are tried and tested principles that are passed on to sister churches.

4. In a united group of churches the good name serves as publicity and attracts people to the church. This name becomes like a franchise and serves as a powerful asset. The good name of a network of churches also has spiritual significance.

5. In a network of churches, trained members benefit from an established and respected system of pastoral training.

6. Members of a network of churches benefit from each other financially. You are not likely to get financial support from outside your network. Through a system of brotherly interdependence, churches are able to accomplish a lot.

7. Church members readily flow between churches belonging to a united group of branch churches. The network of churches is able to keep members within the fold. This enhances church growth.

8. Churches within a network of churches easily benefit from anointed senior ministers of that network.

9. Pastors within the network of churches can receive fatherly counsel and encouragement from seniors. Pastors of independent churches are usually suspicious and wary of external ministers who parade as fathers. There is little trust because independent churches often compete with one another rather than support each other.

10. Churches within a network operate under a particular spiritual covering. The same anointing runs through the entire network because it is really one church.

Principles for Operating a United Group of Branch Churches (UGBC)

1. It is important to distinguish between independent mission branch churches (IMBC) and a united group of branch churches (UGBC) before you start branching out.

It is important to define and describe what exactly you are planning from the outset. If you fail to define these things from the beginning you will have lots of confusion and rebellion.

You must make the following points very clear before starting a united group of branch churches (UGBC):

a. That branch churches are not independent and will be continually monitored and governed by the headquarters.

b. That the mother church’s finances will start the church and support it fully.

c. That income will flow into a central fund and ministers are paid from a central fund.

d. That all the needs of the branch churches and the headquarters will be met by the united group branch churches.

2. Let the pastors and the congregations understand that it is the same church but in different locations. This means that congregation members are free to move from one location to another.

3. Set up an administration which monitors the attendance and finances of every member of the group of churches.

Administer the finances of all the churches centrally; paying expenses and managing the bills centrally so that those who have more do not waste anything and those who have less do not suffer. “As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack. (2 Corinthians 8:15).

This does not mean that all the money has to physically move to one place. The money does not have to move to one geographical location, but decisions concerning the money must be taken centrally.

A good church administration will manage the churches that have been created. To be a good administrator, you must have a good knowledge of secular issues.

Church administration requires a combination of the power of God and the wisdom of God. Without good church administration everything that you build will eventually collapse. You need to master church administration otherwise your ministry will be likened to a rocket that shoots off and falls apart shortly after takeoff.

But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.

1 Corinthians 1:24

4. Maintain your leadership over the United Group of Branch Churches (UGBC).

Churches and branches will be established by teaching and training the pastors constantly and requiring them to come for certain meetings and to meet certain standards.

5. Let the church function as one large body (UGBC).

The church in different locations will share its finances. This means that the money one church has belongs to all the other churches.

6. Let the church function as one large body in different locations with shared leadership.

Shared leadership means that pastors can be transferred from one location to another without destabilizing anything.

7. Do not allow the branch pastors or branch churches to develop individualized visions.

Their vision should be the vision of the UGBC group of churches in different locations.

8. Study loyalty and teach extensively on loyalty.

Fight independent-minded pastors who want to separate themselves and do something on their own. Such independent-minded people destroy the concept of the united group of branches (UGBC).

Loyalty is essential for maintaining a network of churches. The churches you will plant will not be in the same location. It is therefore necessary to teach people to be loyal wherever they are situated.

I once heard of someone criticizing me for teaching on loyalty.

He said, “Why should you teach on loyalty and disloyalty?”

He went on to say that it was not necessary to teach on loyalty because people will be inspired to loyalty by your good leadership.

I was not surprised that this dear critic of mine had never planted a single branch. It is amazing how people criticize something they have never done before.

On another occasion, a dear pastor criticized me for teaching on loyalty. However when his church split, he became an avid reader of my books and even promoted them to other ministers.

Loyalty is the subject which must be taught until the culture of faithfulness and loyalty is established in the UGBC.

9. Be loyal to the branch pastors and churches so that they do not have any good reason or basis to separate themselves from you.

Show interest in and develop the branch churches so that your neglect of them does not become the reason for them to break away and separate themselves.

10. Encourage the same teachings and books to be taught in the whole group of churches.

Conduct special programmes in the different branch churches to establish them.

11. Let the entire group of churches remain connected through the internet.

12. Let the entire group of churches stay connected by having the same paraphernalia in every church; using the same offering baskets, banners, signboards.

Laws for Managing a United Group of Branch Churches (UGBC)

Managing a network of churches is different from pastoring a single church. Pastoring a network of churches requires the development of a complex system of management. The laws for managing a complex network of churches are:

1. Know: Know what is going on in the different churches.

This is done by developing a system in which reports are sent regularly to the headquarters. Weekly or monthly reports must contain vital information about the churches that you have established. This should include:

i. The real attendance

ii. What is preached and who preaches

iii. The income of the church for the week.

2. Communicate: Communicate regularly to maintain a spirit of loyalty and togetherness in the family of churches.

Reports must be sent to the headquarters by the most convenient method e.g. email, letter, fax, courier or by hand. Gradually, a well-controlled and fully- monitored system becomes established.

The information must be used for taking decisions about churches and pastors.

3. Influence: Influence what is going on in the different churches.

Influence what is going on by having frequent meetings with all the pastors and leaders. Meetings with the leaders are more important than meetings with the church itself.

4. Encourage: Churches that are part of the network need a lot of encouragement.

Pastors and churches greatly benefit from frequent visits by seasoned ministers.

5. Teach: to maintain a spirit of loyalty and togetherness in the network.

It is important to teach on the advantages of belonging to the network.

by Dag Heward-Mills

Aurora Untold | Chapter 2

“Fuck fuck fuck, hey! Hey, wait a minute! Wait on…” as per usual Nora was always moments too late, watching as the escape pod launched. It wasn’t as though it had been easy to reach the pods anyway, she had been on almost the opposite end of the ship. The engine room was almost impossible to get out of anyway, with all the fire and debris. Nora just considered herself lucky that she hadn’t been down there in the first place. The initial blast probably would have killed her. Therefore it wasn’t all her fault for taking so long, in fact, she shouldn’t even have to be in this situation. It was all so surreal, she didn’t even think a ship this big would ever take on so much damage, and all external too. Whatever had happened, it had been big. It wasn’t although she had time to dwell on the matter of being moments from death.

She was alive now and decided to focus on staying that way, it didn’t matter how busted an escape pod was, she could make do. Well, maybe not the particular one she was looking at. It must have been damaged by metal coming off the hull for there was a large dent in it, too dented to be aerodynamically safe, it would probably throw her way off course or possibly just break up in the atmosphere. There had to be another one that was in slightly better condition, although none that she could see in the first corridor of escape pods. The connecting corridor seemed to be a little… flammable at the moment and did not seem safe. Then again, none of this was.

Deciding to brave the flames proved to be slightly painful but worth it. Her arm may have been a little burnt from running straight through fire, but it wasn’t so bad. She had found a relatively unscathed pod as soon as she set foot into the second corridor. Well, the exterior seemed to be fine but the control panel in the corridor brought up numerous technical faults. Nothing she couldn’t deal with. Deciding to take the risk she climbed in, seating herself and pressing the launch button. The harness started lowering over her seat then jolted, the mechanism clearly having broken itself. This was just poor craftsmanship.

“Launch failed, seek mechanical advice” was all the AI had to say on the matter, which was an incredibly helpful piece of information saying Nora was the bloody mechanic. She didn’t have time to run a full analysis of the issue, instead, pulling off a wall panel and exposing the inner workings of the pod. She was thankful she hadn’t forgotten her tool belt for once, brandishing a laser cutter and a repair tool as she worked at overriding the launch sequence. It didn’t take long but she figured even that had greatly decreased her chances of survival.

Once more she pushed the launch button, the harness again trying and failing to come down but this time the doors shut.

“Failed to launch,” the AI repeated, the computer being too stupid to really grasp what was going on. The launch engines vibrated beneath her feet briefly before the pod was released from the ships hull, being propelled towards the planet.

Nora, meanwhile, was clinging onto the harness for dear life, doing her best to get it working again so as to avoid breaking her neck upon impact. Once more her engineering genius prevailed and she was quick to pull herself into the seat, holding onto it with one hand as she pulled the harness over her head with the other, the locking mechanism clicking into place, just on time it seemed. Nora was thankful she hadn’t been moments too late for once in her life.

“Launching buoyancy aids,” with that she felt the impact, her head being thrown back against the seat as everything went black momentarily. Although Nora herself hadn’t passed out, evident from the dim red glow of the emergency lights. Yes, she was well aware that this lifepod was bare minimum. Above her she could have sworn she saw something moved. That along with an almost steady slowing of her descent gave her all the clues she needed to work out she had started sinking, much to her horror. The hissing sound that soon followed after this realization quickly washed away the horror and the darkness began fading as the buoyancy aids kicked in, forcing the pod to the surface of the water.

For a few moments it rocked violently, and Nora could hear waves crashing up against the side and over the top of her confined safe haven. Although gradually these massive waves seemed to decrease until they were only gently lapping against the outer shell. The lifepod steadied too, aside from the occasional sway, Nora felt it was safe enough to release the harness, once more using her laser cutter to undo her previous repair work. It really should have released itself.

“Run… run scans of the environment,” she muttered, getting to her feet and finding her legs had turned to jelly. Her brain seemed to have been on autopilot for the whole descent. Unthinking and just acting on instinct. But now the fear she should have felt was kicking in. She had almost died. Multiple times. She was on an unknown planet alone. She actually felt a little sick.

“Running full environment diagnostic and outputting results to databank."

Nora quickly pulled open the hatch at the bottom, gagging into the water below. Due to a lack of having eaten breakfast no food came up, she just continued to dry retch until she was too exhausted to try anymore, eyes shut in case she did end up vomiting. Needless to say, she had seen enough, she did not want to see that.

“Planet 4546B Environment Scan. Category 3 Ocean planet. Oxygen-Nitrogen Atmosphere. Extensive biodiversity. Safety Warnings: May support leviathan class predators, water contaminated with high levels of foreign bacteria, planet is beyond Federation space, rescue unlikely. It is not recommended to explore this environment without hazardous material suits and extensive support apparatus.”

Nora eventually felt well enough to sit back, resting against the side of the lifepod as she attempted to recover, trying to devise a plan of action. Immediately her attention turned to the radio and slowly but steadily she got to her feet, stumbling a little - she seemed to lack any sort of sea legs. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be here for long. There had to be an island somewhere she could wait, at least until help arrived. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if help was arriving. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t try, the radios on the lifepod was essentially a useless piece of junk most of the time, but she could certainly boost the signal. She just needed some scraps to make a few alterations and following the crash she was sure there would be no shortage of debris.

Yet collecting scraps meant going outside. Going into the water. She wasn’t quite sure she wanted to do that yet what option did she have at this point. Nora shook her head slightly, wishing she was braver. At least brave enough to leave her lifepod. Instead, she started wasting her time. The lifepod, as all lifepods were, was equipped with supplies. Two flares, two bottles of water, two nutrient blocks and two sorts of suits. A wet suit and heavier clothing, in case the planet was cold and on land for that matter. Very few lifepods came with much else; if the planet lacked oxygen you were screwed anyway, it was better to die sooner than later. However luckily for Nora, there was apparently a rich supply of oxygen, leading her to believe there was at least flora on this planet. She hoped to god that some deadly flowers would be the most dangerous thing here.

Yet now she was just avoiding the inevitable, taking an unnecessarily long time to change into the wetsuit, ‘accidentally’ putting it on backward. Once it was on there was nothing left to do. Although Nora figured she should climb out the top entrance first, survey her surroundings and once more avoid getting into the water. Perhaps there would be land nearby.

And that’s what she did, climbing up the ladder and pushing the hatch open and pushing herself onto the roof of the lifepod to be greeted with a horrifying sight.

Water surrounded her, there was not one bit of land in sight, just ocean and more ocean. Aside from the worst part of it. Ahead of her was the Aurora, not far away, too far to swim to anyway. Not that it mattered, the ship was well beyond repair, fire licking up the side of the hull, despite the fact that it was surrounded by water.

The sight made her feel ill again, she could have been on the ship when it landed. She didn’t even want to think about how many had died there. Instead, she took a shaky breath and turned her attention to the sea below, waves rocking softly against her lifepod.

“Okay… okay you can do this,” she was telling herself, fists clenched into balls as she stared down at the dark water, with no idea what was beneath there. She couldn’t stay on the lifepod forever. No one would find her that way. She would potentially starve to death.

Then she jumped, almost immediately regretting it as she fell into the ocean, darkness momentarily surrounding her as she desperately grasped for something that wasn’t water. The water had been colder than anticipated and while not freezing it certainly was a shock, enough to send her into a blind panic as she flailed about in the water. Eventually, her hand came into contact with the rung of the ladder on the side of the lifepod. She clung onto it for dear life until she had adjusted to her surroundings, eyes slowly focusing underwater. It was certainly deep, red grass like seaweed probably one hundred metres below her. Tall rock formations jutted out from the ground, almost in the shape of mushrooms. Small fish floated around her, some with massive eyes that easily took up most of their body, none of them really seemed to take her as a threat, some even seemed as intrigued as she was. Almost instinctively she reached out to grab one, no longer terrified but rather intrigued.

When it slipped through her fingers she gave chase, letting go of the lifepod and kicking after it, although the fish was much faster than her, clearly built to escape predators with its field of vision and speed.

But there were more fish in the sea, quite literally and if she couldn’t catch that one she could catch another. With a deep breath, she dove below the surface, heading a little deeper than she had originally intended, grabbing out at any fish that dared to get close. She never caught any, clearly, this was a technique that needed to be mastered. Each fish she reached out for was stranger looking than the last. One looked like a pair of lungs and it seemed to be a little slower than the rest. It’s air sacs had a pinkish hue, such that it almost seemed to glow when the light shone down on it. So when one brushed against her leg she was quick to grab it, hand clasping one of the soft lung appendages. Immediately she released it, withdrawing her hand as it swam away. She did not like the feeling of that.

By now she was far out from her lifepod, but such a thing didn’t really cross the mechanic's mind, she was far too busy exploring this ocean. One thing almost everyone knew about Nora was her seemingly amazing ability to completely forget about the more pressing issues and become distracted by things... such as fish.

However, the mass that loomed in the near distance certainly was not a fish, nor was it any sort of rock formation. It could only be some part of the Aurora, perhaps it’s decent had caused the massive waves. Possibly along with the rest of the ship itself. Although Nora couldn’t quite grasp how the debris could have fallen so far from the Aurora, surely it would have come down in one piece. Something about this seemed… fishy.

Nora’s lungs also started to ache. That was right, she probably needed to breathe. She kicked up to the surface, a little worried she had waited too long to draw breath but it only took a few seconds for her to make it, hungrily gasping in oxygen. Nearby she could see her lifepod still rocking back and forth. She did need some electronic parts for the radio and the wreckage didn’t seem so far away, there was no harm in having a little look around, although she doubted she would be able to dive deep enough to explore the depths of the wreckage.

Treading water was proving to be difficult at the expense of her energy, she would have to find some way of making something of an oxygen tank, if she wanted to survive in the ocean it only seemed obvious to increase her oxygen capacity. After all, how hard could it really be to make an oxygen tank, all she really needed was a little titanium and her fabricator could do the rest of the work.

Thankfully the water was full of debris, scattered about the area. Some had fallen onto the rock formations, making them easily more accessible to Nora and her limited oxygen supply. She still made sure to take in as much air into her lungs as possible before diving below the surface of the water, managing to grab onto a large enough amount of metal to do the job. Now the issue seemed to be getting it to the surface. The scraps were by no means heavy, the issue was getting a good grasp on it. Nora slid her hands under the bottom of the metal, the sharp edges digging into her hands as she pulled it from the sand but it was enough to give her leverage to move it under her arm. Swimming was even more difficult now, with only one arm to paddle her along it took quite a while for Nora to get back to her lifepod. At this stage, she had spent up a lot more energy than was necessary but somehow she had managed to not only make it back to her lifepod but cram the metal chunk through the small entrance in the bottom and pull herself up after it.

For a few moments, she sat there, catching her breath before remembering what she was supposed to be doing, half throwing the scraps up onto the fabricator and flicking through her PDA before selecting the O₂ tank and letting the fabricator get to work.

In the meantime Nora took the time to flick through her blueprints, a lot of the items seemed particularly useless however she did notice a few seemed to be missing. Perhaps the data had become corrupted or hadn’t been installed correctly, to begin with. She must have dozed off a little, eyes focusing on nothing in particular and thoughts blank. There was no more noise coming from the fabricator and using the ladder Nora pulled herself to her feet with great effort, staring down triumphantly at her small victory.

The tank theoretically should fill itself up with oxygen when on the surface, it was advanced enough to not require Nora to constantly fill it up herself. Just as a test run she connected it to the mouthpiece, making sure the chord between them had been tightened. Once it all seemed set up she slung the tank over her back and lowered herself back into the water. After a little hesitation, she didn’t want to be gulping in water, she carefully drew a breath. The only thing that entered her lungs was oxygen.

Nora could only consider this a success and momentarily paused to pump a fist in the water, which was met with more resistance than she expected. As she surfaced she could even hear the hiss of oxygen flooding in to refill the tank. Now it was back to the task at hand.

Exploration.