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pit-and-the-pen · 7 days

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Unrequited Love

A/N: I had to get to the airport to return a rental car like 5 hours early so I’m so sorry for the pure amount that I’ve been posting today but as a socially awkward girly, if I’m on my own phone then for sure no one is going to talk to me.

Anywho here is some angsty angst about day court!reader and Azriel.

Part 2: Here Alt Ending: Here Part 3: Here

Forgive any typos I wrote this on my phone.

Warnings: none

WC-1.4K

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My blood was boiling beneath my skin. Azriel has been complaining for the better part of an hour about Rhys gag order regarding Elain. I was trying not to roll my eyes as I had reached my wits end with his lamenting.

“I just don’t understand why he needs to meddle in this. I get she’s Feyre's sister but he doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he runs a hand through his hair and leans back in his chair. “I just can’t help but think that sometimes the cauldron gets it wrong.”

His words were spoken so plainly. Anger wanes for a second as I swear I could feel my heart break inside my chest. The words seemed to echo in my head Maybe the cauldron gets it wrong. I almost would have rather had him carve out my heart with truth teller.

“What do you think?” He asks me and I sit reeling over his words. I can’t think of anything to say to him. The comforting words I would normally have for him can’t get past the anger starting to cloud my vision. So I simply shrug, avoiding the question. Desperately trying to change the subject.

“So this new book I’m reading…”

“Oh c’mon.” He interrupts me. “I know you have something to say. And I trust your advice more than anyone else. There isn’t anyone else I would rather talk to about this.” His eyes softened as he looked towards me. Instead of melting under his gaze like I normally do, red bites at the edge of my vision.

“I think you should leave her the hel alone.” My tone is not gentle. He freezes.

“What?”

“She has a mate already. And regardless of if you think the cauldron got it right. Lucien is the one mated to Elain,” I tried to keep my voice neutral. “And Lucien is a wonderful male who has been through a lot of shit. He deserves someone as sweet as Elain, if she ever comes around. You should stop meddling.”

His mouth opens, when no words come out, he closes it again. You see the muscles in his jaw tick as he clenches his teeth.

“What has gotten into you? When did you become Lucien’s spokesperson?” He spits at me. His face starts to get closer to mine as he leans over the table, slowly starting to rise to his feet.

The sane part of me is telling me to stand down. That one of the most powerful warriors in all of Prythian was starting to get angry at me. My mate was starting to get mad at me. But I would not cave under his intimidation.

“I became his spokesperson when you showed no respect for him. Or for Elain.” I noticed I was starting to get to my feet. “What about what she wants? She doesn’t owe you anything more than she owes Lucien. Rhys told you to stay away from a girl you feel entitled to and now you want to mope like a petulant teenager. Grow up Azriel.” He flinches before something stoney sets in his eyes.

“At least I’ve actually told her how I felt. What about you?” My stomach drops into my knees. “Sitting and pining over the same person for a century.”

“You knew?” My voice was nothing more than a whisper. This was not happening. I should have left when I had the chance.

“It’s not like you tried to hide it. I thought at some point you would get the hint that it wasn’t going to happen but yet there you always were trailing behind me like a sad little puppy.”

My hands on the table started to glow faintly. My anger was finally breaking through the surface.

“You asshole. You stupid Illyrian bastard.” The smirk that graced his face fell instantly. “After everything that I’ve done for you, you want to use my feelings for you as some fucking weapon against me.”

Even I was surprised at the venom in my words but I was on a roll. “I sat by for five hundred years. I sat by as you pined over Mor, someone I consider my sister. I felt that bond go unreturned.” He completely froze at my words. Words I have never spoken out loud to anyone.

“Wait-“

“No. You get to hear this shadowslinger.” I pressed my finger to his chest and he stepped back like I had hit him. A small part of me wishes I had. But this. This right here is why Rhys kept me around. I didn’t need to throw a punch to put someone on their knees.

“I followed you around like a lost puppy and you loved it. Every second of it. I was stupid enough at some point to believe that it was because you felt it too. And I couldn’t get away from those feelings,could get away from you. Every time I tried I would damn near drive myself crazy and then you would smile or say some funny joke and I was right back to where I started.” I willed the slight shake in my voice to disappear. “You just wanted to feel important because the one you truly loved wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. Took other males into her bed, but not you right? So why not go for the next available thing. Me. Who cares if I got hurt? Who cares that I still fucking loved you through all of it? Not you clearly. You played me like a fucking fiddle and I played my part well.”

When I finally looked back up at his face I saw nothing but a shell of the male that stood in front of me. Even his shadows had retreated from his side. Looking down I realized they were sitting at my feet. I pushed down the glimmer of something I didn’t have time to think about at the sight.

“Please. Just stop.” He pleaded.

“Why? Because it hurts to hear? Fuck you. “And you think that didn’t hurt me too?” I watched him pale. “You didn’t think it killed me to feel that empty weight in my chest every time I looked at you. Everyday that I waited and wished that you would feel that stupid bond I’ve had to live with for the last two centuries.”

He gasped at my words cutting me off

“You never told me about that. I just thought it was… I don’t know… I thought it was a crush like how I felt with Mor”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I shouldn’t have had to! The whole point is that you feel it too. Bonds aren’t supposed to be one sided but for some gods unknown reason, you didn’t,” I felt the anger really starting to boil over.

“Every time I heard you rambling on and on about how perfect Mor was, about the females you took into your bed. I sat by all of it, for what? Three sisters for three brothers?!” I was screaming now, my hands shaking by my side

“What happens when she’s all fixed up too Azriel? When she feels this same thing I feel when she looks at Lucien. Onto the next one for me to hear about I guess . Always on the sidelines. Always the sweet face to come back to at the end of the day but never the one you want to be with.” I took a deep breath for the words about to come out of my mouth, steeling my nerves.

“I’m done. With this. With you. Fuck this entire gods damned city. I will not sit by and play second to whoever you deem worthy enough for the rest of my life.”

He held up his hand like he was going to reach up for me but the light that was glowing off my skin was warning enough.

“Where will you go?” Was all he had the nerve to say.

I let out a cold, twisted laugh. “Anywhere but here. Hel I could finally go home. Helion has

been asking me to come back for years now. All I know it will be somewhere where you can’t come and ruin another half a century of my life. Because that’s what you did. I wasted all this time on someone I knew wouldn’t love me. But I can agree with you on something, Azriel.” I paused long enough to see the hope in his eyes as he whispered “what?”

“That sometimes the cauldron does get it wrong.”

I walked out of that room with my head held high

#acomaf #acosf #acotar fanfiction #azriel acotar #acotar #acowar #azriel angst #azriels kinda dick in this one #I promise I love him but this popped into my head #azriel x reader #azriel x you #no happy ending #a court of thorns and roses #i make no apologies #well maybe a little

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aanthonyvb · 9 months

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More poto Italy inspired stuff

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randomalistic · 6 months

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Hey can you tell me about pigeons I like the noises they make and how they look 💥

PIGEONS (rock doves) ARE PUDGY AND SOFT AND KIND CREATURES and they have very complex and diverse coloration when living in cities thanks to a bunch of escaped domesticated ones breeding together. I think.. They’re also able to be trained and they have great navigation abilities so they were bred as messenger carrier pigeons in WW1 and WW2. Important Historical Significance I say.. but most importantly they have pink feet

(I hate to tell you that I only have Immense Enthusiasm for birds and I’m actually kind of Knowledge Bare on diverse bird facts so idk a lot about pigeons because I don’t live in a large city. Or at least I only have surface level knowledge. This will change. I’m ravenous for new DEEP CUT bird facts.)

I swear I saw a really in depth pigeon coloration post on tumblr once. You gotta trust me it’s out there… But you can still find other stuff :] pigeons are very overhated 💔 so it’s nice to want to learn about them! I also think their cooing sounds are lovely and unique

#I Hope this Suffices #I’m not an accurate bird knowledge person ….. yet…#well maybe a little #I’m just really wanting to take my ornithology class next semester so I can be :]c #bird #pigeon #dove #ask

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joelsgreys · 9 months

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taking a mental health off from work: 🤌🏼

returning the next day to have a pile of shit on my desk waiting for me: 😵‍💫

#corporate america #still no regrets tho #well maybe a little

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iliterallydecepticanteven · 2 years

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Getting back into ROTTMNT so I can watch the movie and I forgot how Draxum and Splinter's dynamic is basically just "two dudes who went through a very messy divorce and made it everyone's problem."

#not tf #rottmnt #i wont let my love of rottmnt consume this blod #well maybe a little #baron draxum #splinter #yeah i know his name is lou jitsu #i like calling him splinter tho

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luvclimber · 3 months

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☆There are sometimes where I post two people kissing because I just like to be random- ALSO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING YESTERDAY I COMPLETELY FORGOT.. But erm- You know how Chester and Donovan are ghouls and need blood? Soooooo- YEAH.. A little suggestive maybe? I MEAN ITS JUST TWO MEN KISSING AND EXCHANGING VAMPIRE BLOOD MAYBE!? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT MORE CLEARLY MAN-☆

#☆~#Chester Wynn #Donovan Curtis #Not my original characters #Digital art #Ship art #Men kissing #GOD IDK WHY I ADDED THAT TAG #BUT WHATEVER #Suggestive?#Well maybe a little #This was so random tho #~☆

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ghooulishh · 1 year

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I'm dead tired. Broke. My roots are frigging awfullllll. It's gloomy as heck out. And it's only Tuesday.

#not complaining tho #well maybe a little #distract me #selfie #me #personal #text #alternative #alt girl #blue eyes #send me asks #i'm bored #gloom city #its only begun #talk to me

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running-in-the-dark · 1 month

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watching the Jeff episode again. man I hate that guy.

#howww did they not IMMEDIATELY know it's not Jenkins #it's so funny but still like. nooo he's so gross!!! it's so obvious!#also I think it would've been so much funnier if they had let John play both parts. it would have been hilarious #and I'm not just saying that because I want to see him more lol #well maybe a little #ugh I love jenkins so much #personal #the librarians #jenkins #I'm obsessed with the way he says library now #don't know why but it's just very adorable #I looove this episode so much

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verminsenc · 7 months

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the way the fandom characterizes dewdrop is so eehh sometimes can I say that, is it controversial ??

#ghost bc #dewdrop #sodo ghoul #nameless ghouls #sick #and tired #no hate!!#well maybe a little #but #yk we move

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kankuroplease · 2 months

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Um, Madara has a hawk right and... hawks eat insects and cats 💀

On sight

his cat is a ninneko that parades itself as a house cat. That’s why it doesn’t behave as a cat would.

#ask #kpz firestorm 🔥#knfau ℹ️#well maybe a little #it is an ass

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rose-absolute · 3 months

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I'm so ragey today.

#be not afraid #well maybe a little

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jonnyonearth · 6 months

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Long Blinks

10/25/23

Take a moment and look up, then close your eyes. Not long but for a long blink. Don't just close your eyes. Make it a long blink. Whether your head is full of thoughts. Fears. Doubts. Happiness. Anything. Having a few of those long blinks throughout the day are like little blips of peace, at least it does for me. I've had those blinks turn in to naps before. On break or at home. A long blink and boom 20 minutes just went. At work or out 'n' about that barely longer than an instant can feel like 20 minutes. Reseting your head. I read somewhere.. a book or something. I can't remember who said it or wrote it. Either way, something about how in a way the whole of everything is gone as you blink. You being the only one being real and an infinite number of beings rebuild the whole of reality as you reopen your eyes.

Hah. 😅😳. Nothing crazy deep or anything, but that's what my mind is on today. At least between actual work.

#random rambling #i swear im not that deep #well maybe a little #im not a lake #im a slightly bigger lake #if you get it extra credit #it's an ocean

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if-i-was-a-cucumber · 7 months

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the reason the only friends group is falling apart (boston, mew, ray, cheum) is because they don’t have the god blessed friend group formation, personally experienced by yours truly:

2 guys, 2 girls, 1 non-binary

1 homosexual, 1 bi and/or ace, 1 “straight ally,” 1 straight ally, and 1 token ironic homophobe (sexuality is debatable)

age range of 3 years

2 of them have semi romantic tension

1 person is aggressively uninterested in relationships but falls in love every 3 seconds

all of my best friend groups have followed this format, and as such i am convinced it is the only functional one

#only friends #ofts #if i had a nickel for every time this happened to me #i would only have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice #i’m not sorry for disappearing 🤷#well maybe a little

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thrumugnyr · 2 years

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Things that aren't fun to carry on your back: Big, heavy Orcs!

#centaur #centaurs #orc #d&d art #no centaurs were harmed while painting this picture #well maybe a little #try not to get caught in the ork rodeo next time #lol #original art #Patataj #d&d #DnD

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highly-nonexistent · 1 year

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// EYESTRAIN

At the center of the universe is me

#dog #atthecenteroftheuniverseisme #this is not a flcl reference #well maybe a little #art #my art #eyestrain

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indydrawsstuff · 1 year

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…I'm sick with the flu and took the time to look at some really old art of mine and… It's nice to see how far I've come. It's so cringe and also… wow. This is where I started.

To all of my fellow artists out there, no matter your age, experience, or confidence… keep going. <3

#IndyMuses #i'm not responsible for anything i say while sick lol #well maybe a little #but yeah i'm really sick #i think it's just one of those 24-hr things so not actually THE FLU #but man this sucks

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