Year in review! I am slowly and surely getting better, it's nice seeing my progress and development of style >:D

[Ghost, Soap and Price when you ask them "would you get my name tattooed on you?"] headcanons

A/N: This is for fun, no one requested it but I love tattoos and I got some soooooo here we go!

A/N 2: this was started back in December lmfao whoops, anyways this is just some random thoughts .

Ghost:

Ghost is gonna either A) look at you like you're stupid as fuck or B) call you stupid as fuck for even asking if you two are not close.

However, you are close so he humors you, despite not saying a for sure yes or no.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me~"

"You think I love you?" Dude is making heart eyes at you as y'all speak, he's full of shit.

You pester him and poke at his chest, telling him you want your name here or there and he just rolls his eyes when he lays on his back.

He makes grunts and snarky remarks like he'd cut the skin off and belly laughs when you pout and can't help but flick your forehead and say it wouldn't happen.

A liar, he's gonna get a tattoo to symbolize you, just not your name. In y'alls line of work it's too dangerous, he's a known soldier and he has a target on his back. Whatever hyperfixation you have, whatever special interest, is something he'd get inked on him, probably on the inside of his arm to keep it hidden.

He runs his fingers across it before and after a mission, even if you're there with him. It's a habit that he'll probably never break. (I'm imagining him with Optimus tattoo for me I'm crying)

Soap:

He's been waiting. He is absolutely saying yes. He's been thinking about it for awhile and has been designing in his little journal what fonts he would get.

You cannot tell me that this man wouldn't get his loved ones name on him bc he absolutely WOULD.

He doesn't care if it's bad luck to get your partners name on you, as far as he's concerned he's yours for as long as you'll have him and you both work together, been through hell together. He's sure of it if you are okay with it.

He's the guy to get your name over his heart 😭 probably also with some flowers/symbols that represent you around it as well.

He presents it to you all giddy and laughs loud when you throw your arms around his neck hugging him.

"You like it? Now you're stuck with me 'orever~" while he gives you kisses all over your face.

Soap proudly flaunts when he's shirtless, his dog tags and your name on his chest make him so egotistical (it's warranted he's so fucking hot)

Would be very happy if you were to get his name but would never pressure you, however if you were, he'd need to design it for you <3

Price:

Price is on the fence, he's not a tattoo man and never has been. But he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone so it's a firm maybe.

It'll have to be a couple of years before he genuinely will sit down and consider it.

Wouldn't get your name but instead your initial, probably on the inside of his finger or on some easily hidden slice of skin.

You don't even fucking see it until months pass and he's changing.

"Oh that? Got it back on downtime between missions." Motherfucker.

He grumbles as you steal whatever limb it's on but he's happy you're so so ecstatic and he thinks the glowing smile you send him makes it worth it.

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess @stupid-ninja @milkmily @lune-la-chanson @tamayakii @teacupcollector @perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains @marsbar127xx @baddump @xncasi @king-cookiex @palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky   @wolfyland07 @diejager @hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol @cluelessyasmin @sesshomaruwaifu @chaos-unchecked @kalamataolivesssss @arunasmisfortune @tbrfics @117s-girl @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @sparrowwithaquill @justtiredandvibing

bsfs older brother sukuna asks!

(these are old asks so ik this is about the last chapter)

BUT EEK THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO SO SWEET. like legit all the characters are all my friends in real life but also they are all me and i LOVE that they feel real bc lowkey I put my own feelings into it 90% of the time so.

THANK U THANK U THANK U I LOVE U SM

will gladly take you up on the offer 💌 but on the real, THANK U SO SO MUCHHHHH

so real of you though bc he gives me hyperfixation too. chapters lately have only been so long or thought out because I think about him 24/7.

I am cooking some INSANE stuff like I need to chill out in the brain. it's giving method acting level "that was so unnecessary you did not need to write that" but here we are.

today I looked at the masterlist and realized the content tag said "light angst".....so I definitely need to go change that LMFAO.

this is also old. BUT APOLOGIES! do hope you loved the sammy arc bc as a girl with a big sister I LIVE FOR THE SAMMY ARC!

correct. they also do that one where you paint each other but y/n paints him really good and he just paints her as the babadook.

oh. my. goodness. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

first of all, appreciate so bad that you don't comment about chapter updates. i gets lots of asks (both polite but also some that are kind of demanding) about when i post chapters but i appreciate that you just pop out and read when i'm ready to write.

i saw a post today about how people treat fic writers on this app like influencers, how there's an expectation to always be producing that comes with that short attention span content type relationship and i can't stop thinking about it. i do really think that my best work comes out of me being able to sit on it, think about it until i am ready to put it out (and I hope that it shows in the quality of the work that i'm trying to put my best foot forward instead of uploading all the time)

i am also just a girl™️ college is stressful, life is stressful, sometimes there's a lot going on and i disappear for a few weeks so i appreciate you always coming back when i'm ready!

and UGH thank you so much about the comments about the past and overcoming it. i've said this before but a lot of sukuna's past but also y/n's is from stuff that is quite literally me pulling the crazy thoughts out of my brain and putting it out there. even though what's happening in the fic isn't really happening to me, it does somehow make those types of things so much better for me when people send me sweet stuff like this and tell me that it makes them feel seen, or they feel things, because it makes me feel warm that I was somehow able to make all that pain worth it for someone else, even if it is in a silly little fanfiction. IDK im getting emotional tomorrow is the one year anniversary of me starting my silly little blog so im thinking lots of thoughts.

AND I LOVE YOU!

(I ignored all the asks about posting another chapter bc I already posted the new chapter LOL)

for the kank hc's anon

first i love you, second i love you, and third here's some hc's"

Canonverse

used to put on little puppet shows for baby gaara <3 started with just sock puppets and a cardboard box, but as kank got better at building and started practicing to be a puppet master shinobi, he graduated to marionettes and a little wooden performance stand.

temari claimed to hate said puppet shows but every once in a while she'd give him some spare doll clothes for the puppets that she "didn't want" for her own dolls, and he caught her watching with a smile a few too many times to keep believeing her heehee <3

middle child syndrome to the max. he has a super strong older sister and an even stronger younger brother, both of whom im assuming rasa favored. his father may not have put hits out on him "more times than he can count" (6) but he sure as fuck felt neglected!

i think he never had a canon love interest not because they didn't care enough about him to give him one, but because he doesn't need or want a partner. kankurou is cool taking his time and enjoying life on his own and if he meets someone, cool! but if not its no skin off his back, he's just out here doin what he do anyway

while i love world building and think it would be so cool if they had some sort of significance, i honestly think it'd be hilarious if his face paint designs didn't mean a damn thing. he just thinks they're cool and when he finds a pattern he likes he'll stick with it for as long as he likes it

that being said, he sometimes forgets he can just? switch it up? whenever? like he'll be painting the same shit on his face for three years, thinking to himself how much he hates this design now and wishes he could do another one, and mid-paint job realizes he can just. do that. so he scrubs it off and starts over. usually becomes an all-day affair of testing different styles until he finds one he likes enough to wear for the next few years lmfao

temari and gaara are his official face paint reviewers but he doesn't actually listen to a damn thing they say. he does not want criticism he wants emotional support pls and thnx. and it is 100% mandatory. cancel your appointments, kank is having a Crisis.

when he was younger he changed looks more frequently, and would sorta treat it as a a new-year-new-me type thing. inevitably would go too hard on trying to change his whole personality along with the new look and go back to normal in a week or two, but GOD that week or two was so trying for literally everyone around him asllahdjkgha

Modern AU

obviously he's a furry. loves the "yknow like nya?" meme and still does it, without a single care in the world for who may or may not be embarrassed of it

honestly subscribes to the "i am crazy/cringe but i am free" lifestyle he'll just do and say whatever tf XD

that being said, he really doesn't do anything that crazy. like the craziest thing about him is probably being a theatre kid. he likes performing just fine, but his real passion is in the set-building.

autism be damned, my boy sure can work a nail gun

goes SO HARD for halloween you have NO fucking idea. he's building himself a gundam suit as we speak

gamer boy! loves video games and has a sleek PC set-up. started his twitch channel for gaming but his viewers were actually way more interested in all his supplies in the back and now most of his streams are just him building stuff and talking to chat, but he'll bring back the games when he gets hyperfixated on one or a new game comes out.

special interest in animatronics. he loves them so much and will ramble for HOURS if you let him (please let him please god please let him he wants to talk about them SO bad)

2023 FIC YEAR IN REVIEW

.

Total number of completed works: 164

Total word count: 492,635 (though a bit of that is from multichap fics i started the year before that -- so in actuality, it's probably around 410,000 or something)

Fandoms written in: mostly marvel comics bcuz i went deranged & spent most of the year reading comics. in the beginning of the year there was also still stranger things left over from the last year & a little bit of warrior nun, but otherwise there aren't really any other outstanding fandoms

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?: normal amount (< for me)

What’s your own favorite story of the year?: too many (i suppose that means it was a good year lmao). some are: like real people do, so you can remember when i was so small and sweet, Unknowing (explicit), eyes full of stars, and if you're fine with that, you can me mine like that, so if you need to be mean, be mean to me (probably my overall fave this year), argumentative antithetical dream girl, you can lean on my arm as you break my heart (explicit), and i'm never gonna love again (explicit), light a cigarette, i'll watch it as it burns, mirror, mirror on the wall, felt those empty eyes look back at me, spin off your axis, but if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me, wherever you stray, i follow, like any unloved thing and the patch of grass where we buried the dog

Did you take any writing risks this year?: dunno if i'd call it a risk but i played around w sort of different styles a little bit

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: just keep having fun idk. perhaps even write less (lmao) so i can draw more again

Most popular story of the year?: tell me how you hate me

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: honestly i'm always mostly in niche/smaller fandoms and then mostly proceed to choose niche/smaller ships & this year that hit me extra hard, so, like, most of them, lol. it's cool tho i love my niches.

Most fun story to write: i remember having a lot of fun with if your cascade, ocean-waves blues come. there's a lot more probably that i don't remember

Most unintentionally telling story: probably all of the cronet porn lmfao. no further comment

Biggest disappointment: didn't manage to finish my multichap fics after all :(

Biggest surprise: not fic specific but how long my cronet hyperfixation endured (still going on). they were in two mediocre comic book runs together and yet my brain won't calm down

For the Writers Ask Game! I want to hear the answer to so many! Feel free to ignore some of them :) 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20 :)

Ahhh I love you, thank you for your interest <3 I rambled a lot and this got so long lmao so it's all under the cut! I couldn't ignore one because you know I love talking lmao

13. What feedback did you receive for your writing that stuck with you?

A classmate at uni read an essay I wrote for one of my classes (I almost failed that class because my professor failed said essay LMAO) and she told me that I should submit my writing to a magazine because my prose was good. My professor also called my prose 'impressive' so that was a huge compliment and I choose to focus on that now lmao.

Something else I often think about is how one of my classmates in high school worked at a radio station and asked me to join him for a discussion on writing. I had to prepare a short excerpt and read it out loud on the radio which was horrible because it almost made me cry because I was terrified LMAO but then it ended up more than fine, and some friends who listened to the program actually reached out to me and told me that they liked my writing – I know this feedback is really simple but I was 14 years old (same age as when I wrote that horrible 1D fic LOL) and it meant the world to me (and the overall experience did, too. Still does.)

Another one: when people told me my writing made them cry. Because it's like, I made you feel things? I caused emotions? What is this wizardry? The made-up story made people tear up? Wild.

Okay lol last one: A friend at uni asked if he could read my fanfiction lmfao and I was so self-conscious about it but I shared it with him anyway, and he texted me as he was reading it and he also gave me feedback in person. It was nothing specific, but just receiving thoughts from someone I know IRL and who enjoyed what I wrote (though he only read four chapters because it was too much lmao and he knew nothing about the fandom) meant SO much to me. Also he appreciated my jokes, and that always gives me a boost in self-confidence. We ended up joking about some aspects, which was also great – it taught me not to always take things to seriously! (And yet here I am overanalysing this lol)

14. What is something that you feel weird/uncomfortable writing about?

Easy. Physical intimacy. Lol. And I don't mean hugging and cuddling and snuggling, because that is more than fine, but as soon as it gets to a further level, I just can't do it. I feel so weird and extremely uncomfortable when trying to write it (and I have tried!) and it just feels so wrong lmao. I know why it's not for me, and I've accepted that it's too hard, I'm too self-conscious, and I admire everyone who has ever written it.

17. Tell us a fun fact about your current WIP.

I have two WIPs so I'll give you two fun facts that might not be 'fun' but it's all I can come up with. Fun fact 1 is that I thought I wouldn't have to do research, but it turns out that I don't know enough English terminology in music that I have to look it up all the time LOL

Fun fact 2 is that I am FINALLY embracing a hyperfixation I have had for three years now so I'm combining that with my other hyperfixation because why not. Pretty sure you can guess at least one of them, but it is amazing to finally write this after thinking about it for so long.

18. Show us a piece of dialogue you really like.

This dialogue is really short and all and it probably makes no sense outside of context but I thought it was super cute when I wrote it and you even pointed it out, so this is it!

"Practise your 'b', Keiji." "Bo." "Yeah?" "I'm p-practising."

19. Show us the line you want readers to remember from your story.

This is so hard. I don't know if I've written any memorable lines LOL uhm. Oh. Maybe the simple "I want to play volleyball." It makes no sense out of context, but in the context of the story, it means a whole lot and I always love to remember last lines in books that I read, so I tried to close my story with a meaningful line as well to round off the entire plot in a way that is satisfying for both me and hopefully the reader lol.

20. Do you have one piece of advice for your fellow writers?

Last year, I was at a workshop where an author (her name is Denise Mina) talked about her writing and gave tips on (crime) writing, and she said this: "If you can tell a story, you can write a story – you just have to write one sentence after the other." That kind of stuck with me, because it's true – so every time I have writer's block and feel like a failure, I try to remind myself of this and, although it doesn't always work, it sometimes does!

Another piece of advice is to write without being afraid of judgment, because there will always be people who judge you, no matter what you do and how you do things. Even authors who have won awards still receive criticism in many ways, and what one person likes isn't what another person likes. What I'm trying to say is that, when writing, you should always aim for what you enjoy, and not think about what others enjoy. That helps me to find actual enjoyment in the writing process, instead of constantly worrying about what other people might think. As long as I'm happy with my writing and my progress, then I've achieved my goal! (This is easier said than done and I'm still mortally afraid of people judging me LOL but it's a good reminder!)

The sensuality in love and leashes made crave things in dramas I know we're never gonna get, I'm not talking about sex scenes the show didn't even go beyond a kiss, I mean the intimacy and sensuality of a touch a kiss etc the most romantic thing can be fingers interlacing together, a kiss to the neck just small things that show longing and yearning in a physical way they elevate a love story so much more but kdramss even when they give us kisses usually it's the grand sweeping moments with cameras whirling around and that's not what makes a great kiss they could do so much more without ever showing skin if they don't want to I'm thinking about the almost kiss and hand flex on pride and prejudice things like that someone inhaling someone's smell idk ane just showing people wanting to be close to someone in that way I'm rambling lmfao I hope I made some kind of point across also Netflix should think about investing in romances not just thrillers and zombie shows romance books sell as much as crime and scifi/fantasy books combined, romance is what made Korean dramas such a big phenomenon in the first place, it's what made Bridgerton their biggest show ever until squid game, it sells almost more than anything in the right circumstances but as usual since it's mostly men in the higher positions no matter the evidence to its success it will always be looked down on and not invested as much in if at all bc it's something mostly women enjoy and things we enjoy are surely inferior and not as important...

oh my god you're so right!!! no i totally get what you mean like the whole appeal and tension came from them doing bdsm without actually having sex and it was just so electrifying i cannot even form words rn.... ngl kdramas were always appealing to me because i did get tired of american shows always hyperfixating on sex. there were so many sexual innuendos and just unnecessary sex scenes in general that did nothing for the show that kdramas were a breath of fresh air. but yeah sometimes they are way too mild like 30 something people doing the fish lips kissing and calling it a day. i remember watching days when they kissed for the first time (which was actually one of the best kisses ever) and inguk did that little thing when he almost went back for more after they finished...now that was cinema!!!! or the finger flicking scenes in vincenzo. or when chayoung hugged him and he had to grab onto the chair to restrain himself!!! like it's about the tension and the longing!!

and yes as much as i enjoy gore I'd really love to see a really really really good romance. and you're right romance is always looked down upon because with the action/gorey stuff they can appeal to more people and bring in more views i guess but what about us... romance is the stepping stone, romance kdramas walked so these others could run!! anyways i really hope we get something good this year

I feel so bad letting this sit for so long, but better late than never I suppose! Thank you to literally everyone who tagged me in this. Literally every time I see these posts it makes me grin like an absolute dope at my phone. This is one of the best fandoms I’ve ever been in. I know I joke that I’m just sitting in my corner making garbage, so thank yall for making the room my corner is in so lovely.

So here’s a shoutout to the people who made my 2020 better. If I’m following you (from my main @hyperspacial because despite being on tumblr for nearly a decade I still hardly know how to run a sideblog) I 100% like you. I’m sorry if I forget to tag people :( Also this is about to be a long ass post- don’t feel obligated to reply or like or whatever just because you’re tagged :P

@garyandhisnan. I just…. I adore you. Highkey would walk to the ends of the earth if you asked. Your writing, your posts, everything is top notch (and you’re an awesome person to boot which like… shouldn’t be allowed). Thank you for letting me rant about American late-stage capitalism and all the other nonsense I flood your inbox with. If yall aren’t following them, go do it now.

@deuchess  

@ariendiel Why you would want to collaborate with me, ME, of all people? Still astounds me. I pinkie promise we’re gonna do it though, and it’s gonna be so good. I’m so excited. But seriously, your fics are some of the only ones that I can keep coming back to. Your writing is *chefs kiss* and your edits/moodboards are literally so pretty. I love your blog and I cherish you, you slut cheat.

@kiki-the-creator same brain saME BRAIN SAME BRAIN how do we have the exact same brain!? Your fics literally are the best thing this fandom has produced- I come up with these half baked concepts, you make them actually good, then I play dollhouse with them over and over again in my head forever :3 That Erikah fic? Literally every Marisol fic you write?? I love them. Also you’re highkey so funny and ugh. Te adoro.

@bubblelaureno you’re literally too good for me. For real. I’m sorry I’m so shitty about keeping up to date with fics and edits, you deserve way more than my shitty memory and my 2 second long attention span. Your blog is literally a beacon of positivity and it’s absurd how much I admire your drive and your analytical way of thinking. This fandom is so lucky to have you.

@codename-mango controversial yet brave opinion- your blog is the best LITG blog on tumblr. Your headcanons, your jokes, your route overviews? All immaculate. Even your reblogs are the best of what everyone else is posting. You’re the only reason I have notes, and I appreciate you sm.

@oneflewoverthecuckoos my comment to mango is controversial only because if not her, then your LITG sideblog for sure. For a ‘Lucas’ blog, the diversity of content and LIs you talk about is refreshing. I fucking love seeing people talk about non-LI characters.

@inthenewblood thank you for letting me bitch about the reddit oml it’s needed. Also having someone to be salty with? A new but not unwelcome experience lmfao

@noahssidechick you are literally so sweet oml I treasure our chats and the pictures of your dogs. You bring such a chill and earnest vibe to the fandom and ugh, I’m so glad to have you.

@fuseboxmusebox I feel like you’re so consistent in the fandom, like you were here when I first joined and you’ll be here after I inevitably lose interest and leave. Your reblogs are top notch, the takes are even topper notch, and it wouldn’t be a ‘litg blogs that made me happy’ list without you.

@crvsh-culture I will never not sing your praises. I love your blog, I love you perspective, I love your vibe. I consider you a friend even though we’ve talked like… once.

@radiantdae your artbreeder edits were the first thing in the fandom that left me genuinely astounded. Like holy shit they were so good. Kassam??? That was a REAL MAN. Obviously the stuff you post now is really good too and your blog is excellent. But tbh when I think of the LITG fandom, the first think I think of is your artbreeder pictures. Also your ‘filipino words that make me think of the islanders’. I still think of that often. 

@therealityofthematteris seeing you in my notes makes me smile every time. That’s basically all, just needed to say it lmao. Also if anyone has almost convinced me to start playing TWC, it’s you and Seliné.

@bellarxse my dash would be dry af without you. Same with TWC- I’m so tempted to play because of your posts (I have it downloaded on my phone but like…. I haven’t finished a single route in Arcana and starting a new thing is overwhelming). But also your prompts are one of the few things that makes me want to write lmfao.

@lahelakoh I feel like I’ve said it before but your posts SEND me oml. The tiktok references, the chaotic energy. Both the taste and the flavour is immaculate.

@kiwi-tai we haven’t talked that much but oml I love your content so much 15/10

@confused-inalltheways-human you’re literally so cool and I think about that Harry fic all the time. Am I ever gonna get around to writing it? Probably not. But it was such a good idea. Also thank you for lighting up my notification.

@oceanatydes you come here, you post literally spectacular content, and then you peace out like bruh I wish I had your mind. I adore your edits, but my favorites are your posts/headcanons.

@voile-de-lune your aesthetic is everything I aspire to be and your headcanons/edits are such a refreshing take on characters that we’ve all gotten so stale with. I still live for that Rahim moodboard you made. Also your headcanons are so fantastic.

@lasswithumor this fandom desperately needs more Carl stans, thank you for doing the lords work. Also I highkey stalk your blog on a regular basis jsjsjsjsjsjs every chat we’ve had has been lovely and ugh, you’re just lovely

@bobbysapron your vibes are literally so immaculate. I know it’s been awhile since we chatted but I highkey adore your content and ugh. You’re such a cool person.

@beebips I feel like you’ve vanished off my dash, but you made up for it with that 3rd chapter of The Other Side of Seventh Ave made up for it.

@nerdferatum I don’t think I’ve ever breathed a word in your direction but oml you’re so sweet and supportive and every time your posts cross my dash I *pleading emoji*

@mrsgaryrennell I’m still agog that we’re mutuals because like… You are so talented. It took me waaaayyy too long to get into Blue and Hazel but now that I have… It’s highkey better than the actual season skskskskss

@kingkassam Like the above, you are waaaayyy too cool to be following me sksksksk. I’ve still got a few edits you had ideas for in the pipeline, and highkey the Kassam icons you requested are my favorite edits I’ve ever made. I live for someone else playing Matchmaker.

@hermitclaw  hello?????? You’re so funny what the FUCK are you doing following me. Ik you don’t post that much anymore, but every LITG you grace us with is a knockout. It feels unreal when you reblog my stuff. Basically the same to @mchamster. Like you’re both so funny and have been in the fandom for so long that it fully feels like royalty whenever yall interact with me.

@ravenadottir I am fully unworthy to even mention your name but oml. Your guides are the only thing that help me retain information about the season, and your recent outfit edits? Oh my god they’re so good. Hope’s especially, with the brightly colored swimsuit, left me absolutely speechless. You’re just above everything in the fandom and I admire that so much. Plus you really don’t have to flex that hard in your fics, and yet-

@smaiihands saving the best for last because you are one of the single most talented people in this fandom. Your art is the strongest life support for the fandom and like I know we haven’t talked in awhile but you’re also such a dope person. So.

And a big shoutout to all the people I follow who I don’t talk to but have nothing but good vibes. I appreciate yall way more than I can articulate: @richhdesire @needsomesorrel @ficticiouspastry @cranesandshipyards @litg-ish @princesslove19060 @fictitiouspastery​  @icedcoffee-please @demons-dogs-and-puns @sparklydinosaurr @mountainmanxoxo  @diamondsdiary @bucket-bill@another-lottie-simp @bobbys-darling @cyn-onlyyou @mikcove @officialpapa-johns @Amaxn @dxncingthroughlife @myfictionalobsessions  @screw-u-vaanu @kittidot @chichiguitarist123 @myfictionalobsessions @Azibear @amelia-w @lilithlibrxa @litghoe @priyas-tiddies @daisybarks @ajs-wife

At this point this post is just a directory of the LITG fandom lmfao but genuinely. Thank every single one of you. 2020 was hard as shit, but I’ve been hyperfixated on LITG for like a year and I treasure your content sm.

Why do you think Muriel doesn't like Julien? I'm thinking it's just incompatible personalities (since Julian is loud and dramatic and Muriel is,, not) , but it might also be due to the fact that Julian had an initially somewhat friendly (?) relationship with L*cio, presumably at the time that L*cio took control over Vesuvia. Do you have any theories? I love your analysis(plural) of the game

OH TKJNAKJEFNF THANKS!! 

I think it’s a combo of a lot of different things including just that Muriel probably finds his personality grating. I think the MAJOR reason he doesn’t like Julian is literally just because of his complicated relationship with Asra.

Muriel is an incredibly lonely (I typo’d as lovely the first time and that is Also true lol) person, and Asra is the only person in his life who’s stuck around long-term and hasn’t hurt him. He sees pretty much anyone who gets close to Asra as a threat to his relationship with him and tends not to like them (e.g. he universally just does Not like MC at all in any of the routes when he meets them). 

I think also it has to do with some complicated feelings about Asra’s curse and him hating to see Asra suffer. I think he (similar to Asra) has complicated feelings about Julian because he blames Julian for MC’s death (and consequently, Asra giving up half his heart to bring them back). Obviously Asra’s been unhappy and lovelorn for several years before the start of the plot in the game, and seeing Asra that way would make Muriel unhappy. He likewise doesn’t like MC for being the cause of this pain for Asra - not that they have any control over that.

He also has a valid reason for feeling unhappy by Asra’s fixation on MC too though, I love Asra so much but literally in the scenes after the arena fight in Asra’s route when Muriel ran away and Asra was like “anyway is MC ok?” I was just like. DUDE. Go comfort your best friend smh!!! He just relived his greatest trauma for you! Asra’s relationship with MC comes at a detriment to his one with Muriel at times, and even in Asra’s upright ending when Muriel is a Little bit better off he’s still lonely. 

I think he’s aware on some level that his dislike of MC is irrational, which is why he usually helps them despite his mistrust of them, but he doesn’t seem to be able to get over that with Julian. 

This could also be because Muriel has feelings for Asra (as we see in Nadia’s route). I think this is also evidenced by how little we see Muriel in Julian’s route. We see him a lot in both Nadia and Asra’s route, but literally only in the Hermit and in the reversed ending briefly for Julian. Asra and Muriel don’t end up together in this route. I think this is because Julian’s route is the second worst for Asra according to the devs for heartbreak (they described like on a scale of 0-100 for each character that Muriel would be -1000, Nadia/Portia would be 0, Lucio would be 1000 and Julian would be 50 in an ask arcana lol), so Muriel would have spent a lot of time comforting Asra if they did interact in this route, and then Asra still ends up close with Julian in this new found family scenario but Muriel is the odd man out. Whether or not it’s a romantic jealousy thing or just him worried about being abandoned, he clearly sees Julian as a reason Asra might leave him (e.g. in HH when Asra and Muriel are both at Mazelinka’s house, Muriel asks Asra why he’s still talking to Julian when Asra doesn’t mention his name).

Also, beyond Julian’s personality, I think there’s a huge cultural difference between Nevivon, Vesuvia and Prakra.

Muriel likes Nadia, but she also directly acknowledges what happened in the arena was wrong. She’s from a very different place with better systems of law and order who was horrified by the treatment Muriel received, and validates him that it was horrible and shouldn’t have happened to him

Vesuvians seem to be fairly mixed in attitudes to the arena; some loved it and some hated it

BUT we see both Portia AND Julian being extremely excited about the prospect of the arena and the red market. Julian gets a kick out of the idea of playing gladiator (as we see in HH on his Colosseum interaction), and Portia also when she meets Muriel at the Colosseum LITERALLY says to him that she bets he was awesome on the sands and she wishes she could have seen it. Needless to say he’s upset, and this is pretty insensitive, but she genuinely doesn’t think that killing people is something to be ashamed of in that context

Also, Julian is pretty insensitive about Muriel’s privacy and trauma when they meet in his route; he calls him Scourge repeatedly. Even in the HH interaction where Muriel and Julian are both in Muriel’s hut, Asra says “Muriel won’t like you being here”, and Julian literally says “What is he going to do, crush me?”

Like Julian. Listen. I love you to pieces and it’s clear you think he’s hot (kjaefnknaf i can’t stop thinking about “You’re a.... big boy.... (blushing)”) but PLEASE curb your horny for 5 minutes and try to be a little more sensitive and not just “oh giant man please crush me” also please Julian you’re both bottoms this would not work

I think generally there’s a lot of stuff there that means Muriel would feel alienated and objectified by the way Julian behaves, but also just in the way Asra’s relationship with him is complicated.  Maybe it also has something to do with him helping Lucio, I mean he doesn’t know about the plague beetle thing so maybe that’ll be a uniting factor for them? That’s a good point that I hadn’t thought of!I’m interested to see how they resolve that tension in Muriel’s route, but I really have No idea how they’re gonna go about it

That was way kajefnkae longer than I thought it’d be this is what happens when you hyperfixate folks lmfao I do have screencaps of a lot of the HH stuff if yall need proof kjaefnfae lmk and I can dig them out

21, 44, 26 ❤️

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

it was very much an oc-insert fullmetal alchemist fanfiction that i wrote circa 2007 ... it was so full of ocs that it was barely recognizable as fma derivative ... literally the canon characters only had passing cameos and the rest was just my own characters in an alchemy-based universe lmfao

i can’t remember the plot ... the main character was an alchemist like edward who doesn’t need circles as they’ve seen the gate of truth, and the story started with her looking for her parents’ murderers, and along the way, collecting a rag tag bunch of misfits as her team ... very indulgent, but i was 12 years old and living my fantasy ya feel 

it was about 120 chapters long (but each chapter was maybe 300 words max lol) and i think i got halfway through a sequel? i can’t remember. it was posted in a very obscure portion of the internet ... 

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

i mainly borrow ideas from poetry and music for my fic titles/chapter titles ... richard siken, ocean vuong, and traci brimhall are my biggest inspirations at the moment. i put a lot of work and thought into my fic titles these days as i like to play around with meaning and symbolism a whole lot (even if 99% of people won’t know or understand my references lmfao)

breaking down some of my fic titles:

a cold night for good deeds: this is derivative of “a cold night for alligators”, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fic but i really like the sound and the symmetry of the words. there are a lot of interesting vowel sounds in this title too, especially the clipped “o” sounds, which has a particular pathetic fallacy to me (a cold city, a harsh wind, a storm, the drumbeat of rain etc).

droplets: one word punchy title is easy to market and easy to remember, and seeing as water is an extended metaphor in this fic ... and given That Line in chapter 19 when jean tells marco he loves him ... it works pretty well

whosoever’s is the storm: derivative of a latin proverb (”Cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos.”), appropriate for the source material and its canonical themes 

another lover hits the universe: derivative of an allen ginsberg quote (”Another lover hits the universe. The circle is broken. But with death comes rebirth. And like all lovers and sad people, I am a poet.”), especially appropriate given the themes of reincarnation in this fic

verdant night and unmet people: lifted from a phrase in an article i read about the folly of being 20-something, but also has a link to the green light at the end of gatsby’s pier, which is highly appropriate given the setting of this fic lol

as your sun sets (i know you in bleary-eyed 3am): two lines from a poem by naiche parker that i mashed together ... it presents the theme of the fic very succinctly, an intimacy stretched across two places at once, two different time zones.

after dark: named after my fave murakami novella which has very little to do with the themes of fic, but is written with the beautiful detached quality where individual moments that don’t always fit together seamlessly are stitched together into a story, which works nicely for a vignette-style piece

anaphora in the aftermath (of love and violence): i saw the word anaphora in a poem by ocean vuong and loved it, and the stylised the rest of the title a la richard siken. anaphora is repetition of a certain word/phrase at the beginning of successive clauses, and in this fic, the anaphora is alec’s “i love you” confession, and the central theme is how it ripples unspoken through the moments afterwords. 

ghosts that we knew: named after a mumford & sons song ... it’s a fic about ghosts ... go figure 

i like things that are aesthetically pleasing as well, so i am very particular with word choices, format, sound, and rhythm. for example, you will n e v e r see me titling a fic with an indefinite clause (e.g. “to [something]” or “of [something]”) as it makes me irrationally uncomfortable lmfao

i also always avoid vague nouns and pronoun-heavy titles, as i don’t think they make for eye-catching or memorable titles. you need something punchy or something beautiful and extravagant. i like to lead with a strong concept, particularly a visual/dynamic noun or verb (e.g. “as your sun sets (i know you in bleary-eyed 3am”, “droplets”, “whosoever’s is the storm”, “another lover hits the universe”, etc)

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention? 

seeing as i’m in the depths of a got hyperfixation, let’s go for podsa!!!!!! 

sansa has a plethora of ships (of varying quality lmfao) but one of my new faves is sansa and podrick! a lot of this emerged post-season 8 after pod became a knight and got me thinking about how sansa used to pray for the gods to send her a “noble and true knight to champion her” and like ... who is more noble ... than pod (well, besides ser brienne, but briensa is a god tier ship all of its own). anyway, sansa stark deserves a man who will love and respect her and defer to her at all costs, and pod would be good husband material. 

they also have shared history, with both of them living in KL in seasons 2 & 3 and i love the idea that pod had a crush on sansa then, but she was beautiful and sad and unattainable, and obvs she was married to tyrion, who pod was squiring for ... THE ANGST POSSIBILITIES. sansa probably rarely noticed him, but i like to imagine, later, when pod and brienne rescue sansa from the boltons, sansa starts noticing what a fine young man pod has become, and then when he is a knight and she is a queen, she’s like ... “damn son u fill out that gold armour real nice” and then she gets her much deserved happily ever after and ... i guess i’ve thought about this a lot

ask me fanfiction questions

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!