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#we don’t even know where the rest are
stroebe2 · 10 months
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aw man im really sad little guy from yesterday didn’t make it… this was him sleeping yesterday evening. rest in peace
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priyemma · 11 days
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Priya is so blinded by her focus on the game that she shows little to no empathy for Emma feeling betrayed (after being lied to!) because she thinks it’s for the good of the game. Literally forcing her to answer and not showing any guilt or remorse. This isn’t Priya hate btw it’s angst because ugh! I love her! And she was wrong!
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transmechanicus · 3 days
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Never underestimate the power of a comfy hoodie to ward off Lovecraftian madness🖤
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aeide-thea · 7 months
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still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni
like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!
#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp!#and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward#fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like.#but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine#and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization#and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing#ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them!#anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following#like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade#and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but.#these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another#and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it#and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up.#but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!!#and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh#not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us#so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities#like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually!#idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without#implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic?#anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper#of viciously constrained femininity#that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children#so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract#but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on#instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple#is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run!#anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.
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motokeith · 3 months
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can we stop treating our participation in the voltron fandom as something horrific and shameful or is every single voltron post going to be prefaced with self-deprecation and disgust
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baronessofmischief · 5 months
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Rebel Moon on Netflix is sooooooo soso bad guys 😂 like at least there’s space Charlie Hunnam with a Scottish accent and sometimes the main character has a flashback where she has a better haircut AND there’s a sibling duo who have the best costumes in the movie but the story? The script? The movie structure? Cohesiveness? Absolutely terrible. And there’s still 45 minutes left
#and it’s only part ONE#and it’s not interesting enough to compel me to watch a whole second movie of this#there’s a billion things going on but none of it fits together and they’re all just mostly disconnected events or ideas or just STUFF#and none of it is the basic things we need like. character connections and relationships.#it’s ALL flashbacks and EXPOSITION and world building#those things should be there when necessary. give us the minimum we need to know and move ON.#if there’s so much backstory that needs expositioning you should have made that movie instead of it was relevant buildup to THIS story#worldbuilding should be there for flavor - boundaries - and establishing the rules for how the story happens within its structure#this universe just. doesn’t seem like there are any limits. so there’s no tension or cohesive feeling to it. so I just end up not caring lo#at least Jupiter Ascending was CAMPY bad#Rebel Moon is just BEGGING for you to take it seriously and BEGGING for you to make it the next big sci-fi cornerstone in culture#but I swear it is just. so bad.#I don’t even know where to start with it 😂#there’s also like. some things they don’t warn for that they defo should have included in the rest? idk maybe that’s just me but#if you warn about attempted assault against a woman you should also do it for one of the men later#also I said ‘main character’ in the post but it really seems like they’re trying to make EVERY character the main character.#they’re too individual to come together. it’s just random ingredients not one dish.#it’s not structured the way an ensemble movie is supposed to be so it just doesn’t work 🤷‍♂️
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rosicheeks · 2 months
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10, 27, 50🥰
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah. Like you said there’s infatuation at first sight.
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
Yes 😭 I’ve had a few poems sent to me on here either through anon, DMs or posting one and saying I’m the inspiration behind it.
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
That’s pretty complicated lol
#*maybe* if I let my hopeless romantic self take over I think (hope) there could be a spark at first sight?#where you see someone and you feel drawn to them and you have this weird feeling they’re supposed to be in your life??#who knows maybe it’s just in the fairytales but damn I want a fairytale love one day#but I definitely don’t think there’s a thing like love at first sight#love is much more than just seeing someone… I just feel like that’s a shallow way of looking at it? and I don’t mean to disrespect anyone-#who does believe in love at first sight#I just feel like it takes time to fully love someone#I feel like to love someone means to truly know the person - to take the time to learn them as a person and to learn the good and the bad#and to fall in love with the whole person#I truly still can not believe people have taken the time to write me a poem#I genuinely get a little teary eyed whenever I think about it#I have a notebook (I lost it during the move but I’m sure it’s in one of the boxes) that I keep and write down any poem or sweet message#that I receive and then when I have a bad day I can look back at them#if I don’t find it soon I’m gonna start a new one cause I miss having that pick me up#LOL#that last question#I truly truly don’t even know how to answer that#short and simple answer sure I’d accept the apology but we wouldn’t get back together#a little side note I have a tiny feeling that it wasn’t true love but who knows#anywayyyyyyy thank you so much for the questions!#ngl I fell asleep shortly after I reblogged this and then the rest of the day I forgot about it 🤦🏽‍♀️#but better late than never right? 😂#ask
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 months
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there’s actual good fights you could point out where Dean does put his foot down and it’s completely justified, even if only from his point of view. why would you bring up the amy thing instead of literally anything else.
#idk man if you’re gonna make that argument go with something in s4#Dean telling Sam to stop demon blood. one of those times.#not only are those fights p much like totally him in the right. he even thinks he’s in the right.#(compared to Amy where even dean knows he did something wrong. that’s WHY he lies about it.)#but also. outside of just Dean’s pov. he is right. Sam IS hurting himself. Sam is making a terrible choice#seeking a vengeance for his brother who isn’t even dead anymore and wants Sam to stop.#like Sam’s still doing his best to do the right thing. he’s after Lilith which is also Dean’s ultimate goal.#but he’s hurting himself to do it. he’s hurting their relationship to kill her.#and then heaven is also there meddling making everything worse.#actually the real lesson here is everyone go rewatch s4 god it’s so good#and it’s one of the times in the show where objectively? both of them have a point. both of them are right to get angry and fight each other#the show kind of falters with that a lot of the rest of the time#early seasons sam & dean fights my beloveds#HELL YOU COULD REACH BACK TO S1#DEAN GOING NO. WE ARE GOING TO SAVE PEOPLE. WE CANNOT CHASE DAD ALL THE TIME.#(combined a little with ‘that’s what he’s telling us to do so we’ll do it.’ of course my tramautized good son <3)#but that’s!!! Dean’s right!!! hey Sam!! hey Sam!! maybe don’t just try to ditch hunts right in the middle of them!!!#(and Sam is also right. they need to find their dad. what if they don’t get to him in time. god early seasons sam & dean dynamic GETS IT)#spn#dean winchester
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pepprs · 1 year
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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rosesradio · 8 months
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#i’m kind of really heartbroken right now#so i had tickets to the hot freaks concert and went tonight—which i don’t mind posting on here because i live several hours away#so basically i drove to the venue for several hours and stopped like once for food#it was my understanding that windsor was opening and then the hot freaks and then the happy fits i guess but i didn’t know the exact times#we were running a bit late bc of the road trip and walked in at 7:25 (the show started at 7) and i got to see the tail end of ‘boyfriend’#& i was like ‘oh okay i just missed their first song’ but then they walked off stage and my heart dropped. i missed everything#and yeah it’s on me because i must have had a misunderstanding about how the show worked#i’d never even heard of a show where an act performs for 20-25 minutes unless it’s like a variety show or something#i did cry about it already and just tried to have a good rest of the night since we’d already driven for hours#i got to meet the band at the merch table which was really cool and they gave me a free signed CD & sticker & friendship bracelet because—#they felt bad for me. which was very sweet (i also bought a shirt)#i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken#because financially/geographically it’s not smart to go to another show even further away just to see a 25 minute set when i’ve already got#the merch & all. plus i can listen to them on Spotify#i can only hope they come to a location closer to where i live#but there’s no guarantee because they’re so underground. they only resurfaced because of stupid tiktok & they’re only popular enough to be—#half of an opening act. so they could potentially never go on tour again#if i had more of a platform i would boost their music more but i don’t#i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just—#went to shit#tw vent#rose.txt
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milo-is-rambling · 11 months
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I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it
#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with#no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to#ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and#then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this#inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m#normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans#are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of#getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and#I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage#where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not#like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my#friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the#only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so#long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy#forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s#what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is#destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)
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fleshdyke · 1 year
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shsjeiegjshebr
#man. getting upset about stupid shit. again#yesterday we had an assembly at school for the end of the year awards and whatever#and the only friend i had in the class i was in when we went down left early to go find the rest of our friends#so i went down and found a spot and i already sort of knew this would happen#but i got there pretty early and i watched my whole friend group come in. and they didn’t even look for me#it’s like they didn’t even notice i wasn’t there. and they just walked over and sat down on the other side of the room#and i guess they were all having fun sitting next to each other. i was sitting alone having to listen to some seniors saying really awful#things behind me. idk#they didn’t text me and ask where i was or say anything about it afterwards#like they just completely didn’t notice i wasn’t there#and if they did they don’t care enough to ask where i was#and i’m making them seem a lot worse than they are but like. MAN that hurt#like all i want is a friend. that’s it man. that’s all i’ve ever wanted. i just want someone i can rely on to sit with me at an assembly#i’m not suicidal i really do want to live but. god i just want to know what would happen#i don’t want to kill myself bc i think they’d be better off without me i want to kill myself because i want to know how they would react#i want them to know how much stupid shit like that affects me man. yk. and i know how callous that is and i hate it but god i think about it#so so so much. like#they’ve gotten a whole new friend group and tell me that we’re still really good friends but man you can’t fucking lie to me like that#like you can’t tell me that we’re as close as we used to be because we’re not. i know they don’t like me anymore and it’s fine becuase i get#it i wouldn’t like me either i have to spend all day every day with myself#but like. all i’ve ever wanted is a friend#and i want to just break and start yelling at them for this because i feel so fucking alone but it’s not their fault and that would only#drive them away more#like i feel like the only thing that would bring them closer to me would be to try and kill myself but i don’t want to do that yk#not actually at least. i’ll daydream about it 24/7 though. i’ll think of that as the better timeline#and i don’t want to bring this up to them bc i already have once before and they pretty much told me its not their problem#and again i’m making them seem so much worse than they actually are but this is just how my brain interprets this#and i kind of want to attempt but not die but like my mom’s best friend died this morning and i can’t fucking do that to her#like more than anytjing else i just want a friend. i don’t blame them but like. is that so much to ask#vent
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 years
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I both like Marianne for her refusal to go along with the dictates of society and convention merely for the sake of appearance and ALSO I want to shake her by the shoulders for it because this outlook leads Marianne to practice rudeness that she never considers herself responsible for checking in any way, as if other people’s silliness vulgarity or vices absolve HER of treating them well.
Conversely, I love Elinor for her refusal to let her feelings get the better of her good manners and propriety and it’s especially iconic when wielded against Lucy Steele and sympathetic and understandable when she uses it to protect herself from her extravagantly emotional (and unhelpful) sister and mother. But also I kind of want to shake HER by the shoulders for the way in which she practices this restraint all the time even in the house of her own mind. Or—maybe that’s not exactly what bothers me because she does need to be able to cope! But there’s a sense in which on some level this is about her winning a battle against her own feelings and it’s like—but what if it wasn’t a battle all the time Elinor.
#and you know what’s interesting#neither girl ever really changes#the consequences of their respective worldviews play out really truthfully and both girls have to live THROUGH that#but neither really changes. and the men they end up with reinforce their natural tendencies/don’t require them to change#Marianne continues on her course of emotional excess until she breaks against the rock of willoughby’s caddishness#and then in a kind of exhaustion and defeat lets Colonel Brandon take care of her for the rest of her life#but she kind of never really grows out of that first worldview even though she ‘loves to contradict her favorite maxim by her own choices’#And Elinor HAS her moment where her feelings burst out of her towards Marianne but then marries Edward#who you may be sure is never going to break down any of her emotional walls when she wants to have them up#And I don’t think this makes the book a failure in any way nor do I think Austen doesn’t know what she’s doing#I also don’t think she tells the story cruelly or judgmentally#But I do think that it isn’t an accident that the romances in here are not at all like the other romances#where personal change and growth is so tied to romance#the people who could help Elinor and Marianne really actually grow are each OTHER#and in a way they do and in a way they don’t! neither girl really wants to change#and I don’t think that makes it inherently a tragedy. Because I think the book is simply about telling the truth#about the way some people live and live with their choices#and what we do with that is up to us#anyway Emma Thompson kind of got around that with her casting choices and framing#she gives Edward more perception and sensitivity than he actually has sometimes#And Alan Rickman is insanely powerful obviously#But the happy ending is more inherently romantic and uplifting in the movie than in the book I think#(Though I’m excited to finish my rereading and have this confirmed)#anyway some thoughts#*lives to contradict her favorite maxim not loves#Marianne doesn’t actually love it!!!!
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munamania · 1 year
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i know he doesn’t mean it any kind of way but getting the email back from my prof like you need to invest in little sticky notes to go nuts and help with your series planning just made me sad. stand up babe
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whimsyprinx · 1 year
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okay! enough despair (I hope) there’s not much to be done anyways other than crying some more (I’m tired of crying) or like focusing on what I can control (or at least try to)
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I’m going through my copy of The Lady Tars and this was just incredible.
William Brown (birth name is unknown) may have been the first black woman to serve in the British Royal Navy. While the book here says Brown served for 11 years as captain of the maintop (others say capt. of the foretop), there’s another conflicting account that has her rated as a landsman in the ship’s muster. The Times wrote about her and this is the main source that she was a foretopman. The paper also says that Brown intended to enlist again as a volunteer and it’s completely plausible she did. However, it’s completely unknown either way. What is known indisputably is there was a young black woman from Granada going by the name of William Brown serving on the H.M.S. Queen Charlotte in 1815.
#ripping my hair out coz yes. there was a woman going by William Brown in the navy in 1815#but that’s about all that can be verified#and the fact that there’s this conflicting account from The Times drives me up the walls#I want these people to have been better remembered and personally that’s where the genuine tragedy lies#did she re-enlist? did she have prize money? did she serve for a few weeks or over a decade??#more than likely she wasn’t a capt. of the main or foretop#especially if she really did only serve for a short period#there’s just a sadness in it that we don’t even know her story or really anything about her#that’s why I’ve been reading about all the polly olivers in the navy#but yeah. incredible that she even DID that#I hope she lived a good life#that’s all. I don’t like wild speculation when researching historical persons as tempting as it can be#so I only hope and wish the rest of her life was a good one#also it’s just so important to know these stories or what we can learn of them#a man (or woman) is only dead when their name is no longer spoken#I want to help keep these women alive for as long as I can#also PLEASE double check your sources! I ran into a few instances where person A just makes stuff up about person B’s findings so. please.#I don’t like making assumptions based on what *I* want to be true either so again. there’s very little known about her so take all this#with a few grains of salt#william brown#age of sail#history#women in the navy#(also frustrating coz William Brown was/is a pretty common name…)#I found a couple of other sources talking about her so I’m gonna see if there’s ANYTHING else I can find out#black history#I’ll come back to this and write it clearer. I’m running on fumes#also should add that The Lady Tars is a compilation of auto/biographies of 3 women and this is just from the foreword#but I need to nap rn
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