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#we are being blessed again
lesbaurinkos · 2 months
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knight of wands
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zeb-z · 5 months
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“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.
There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.
Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.
#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue#couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck#and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another#more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension#and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow#I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed#AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of#the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust#it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors#red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!!#and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as#intended#idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side#idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what#happened at all yknow?#they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
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illuminatedferret · 3 months
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i'm thinking about honghong-er and all the suffering he endured in his life, and i'm just so fucking bitter because you know? how much of that was actually his bad luck? how much was bad luck and how much was that his life was full of shitty, neglectful, abusive people? how much of him of his suffering was actually because of his bad luck?
what's the cutoff point? when is it no longer about bad luck, and instead about the people in his life and the decisions they made? how fucking shitty is it to attribute a life of abuse to bad luck? it's so easy to dress his misfortune and early death as simply fate, but doing so takes all agency away from every single person who by choice led him to a life of pain and suffering.
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jakes3resin · 1 day
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Modern Reincarnation AU Part 4 ✨️
Part 3
"John?"
Bucky storms past Jack into the townhouse. It's rude, but he'll apologize later. He doesn't know why he came here instead of his apartment. Old habits dying a hard drawn out death, maybe? He hadn't been thinking clearly. Hadn't been thinking at all really until he found himself waved through by his father's security detail.
"Oh, is that John?" He hears his father call out, dress shoes clicking against hardwood as he walks closer, but Bucky stomps up the stairs towards his room before he sees the man. His breaths come out in rushes as tears keep burning his eyes.
Shit, he thought he'd gotten those under control on the train.
Slamming his door, he slides down until he rests against the floor. He tosses his bag to the side wincing at the sound it makes. Hopefully his laptop survives. At some point he does actually have to do the work he went to the library to finish.
The library.
Buck and Curt.
They wouldn't, Bucky tells himself. They wouldn't. Curt was one of his best friends, and Buck loved him. They...
Fuck they were roommates! Why the hell were they talking about that shit in public? In the place Bucky considered his? Why even pretend? Why drag Bucky into this? Why?!
Bucky buries his face into his hands. His chest hitches as he tries not to sob. He doesn't want his father or Jack to worry about him. He doesn't want to talk this through.
He wants...
He wants Buck. He wants the other to pull him into his arms. To kiss him again as if today had never happened. There was something else about being with Buck, something he'd never felt with anyone else be they friend or lover. He made Bucky feel safe and wanted. Wanted not because of his family and connections but because he was himself.
Buck would know how to make him feel better.
He laughs quietly through his tears. Distantly, he can hear Jack briefing his father downstairs, the words faint but he hears his name and tears used together. His laughter is more sob than anything else. Of course, the one good thing he'd found would end up belonging to someone else. Story of his life.
✨️
There's too much work to do. At least that's the excuse Bucky gave himself for not confronting Buck and Curt immediately. There wasn't time for a confrontation and subsequent blowup of his life.
At least that's the lie he tells himself.
Bucky chews on the straw of his iced coffee as he skims yet another chapter. There's a pumpkin muffin in front of him that he swore would be his reward for getting through this fourty page reading. Midterms have come and gone, but Bucky still has deadlines to meet and research to complete. He can't sit in his room forever, as much as his father and Jack would sometimes prefer that. Better protection from whatever sent Bucky crying to his room as his father would argue. Better protection for his father's political career Jack would quip.
Speaking of protection, Bucky glanced to the side of the cafe towards his security detail. At least these guys attempted to blend in. His father must have briefed them on his track record with previous details. Bucky smirked around his straw. They'd be easy to lose come rush hour. A bit of fun even.
Bucky turned back to his reading, squinting down at the words.
"American airmen during World War II had a dismal life expectancy. It was not a matter of if an airman was going to be shot down but when. Once downed, airmen faced an uncertain 'reception committee,' as Second Lieutenant Kenneth C. Reimer noted in a drawing he made as a POW in Stalag Luft I in Barth, Germany... 'for every [ground combat] soldier killed in action, three or four others would be wounded; air combat was completely the opposite. For every man wounded, three were killed.'"
"Bucky?" A hand settles on his shoulder jolting him out of his reading.
Bucky kept his shoulders loose as he turns around. Buck stares down at him, a bright smile on his face that Bucky can't help but match despite his grief. It wasn't even something he could control. Buck smiled at him, so he smiled back. Bucky felt pitiful.
Buck's sky blue eyes are clear and happy as they dart across Bucky's face. There's no sign that he realizes Bucky overheard him yesterday.
Bucky lifts a hand to calm his detail, all alert now after Buck's friendly greeting. He sees the nearest agent settle back into their chair but knows none of them are relaxed. He darts a look up at Buck, peering at the other through his glasses to see if he'd noticed the disturbance.
Buck's gaze, as it always does, doesn't leave Bucky's face. Even when he rounds the table to sit down, his eyes are pinned on Bucky and nothing else.
"Sorry I couldn't meet up yesterday," Buck dumps his bag onto the chair next to him. Bucky's smile twitches. Buck sits down across from him. His legs tangle with Buck's own under the table, Buck's foot gently bumping his ankle.
"It's fine," Bucky chomps down on his straw. "How was your advisor meeting anyway?"
"It was good," Buck smiles at him, not even a hint of guilt on his face. "Real good."
Buck had told Bucky he was called to fill in a shift yesterday and that was why he supposedly hadn't been able to meet up. A lie Buck hadn't even bothered to remember. His advisor meetings were also always in the morning on Thursdays. Today was Tuesday.
Buck was still lying to him, and he wasn't even guilty about it.
✨️
"I went by your place yesterday. You weren't home." Buck swings their clasped hands through the air.
"Hmm?" Bucky glanced away from the traffic around them. His detail were staying a conspicuous ten feet back, but they were annoyingly keen when Buck offered to walk him back to his apartment.
Bucky would lose them another day.
Buck laughed, deep and airy. Bucky struggled not to lose himself in it. That was what made this so hard. Bucky still loved Buck, and Buck still acted like Bucky was his whole world and then some.
"Oh," Bucky finally processed what Buck had said. "No, I went to my dad's for the night."
"Really?" Buck squeezes his hand. Bucky hates how much comfort Buck's touch gives him.
Does Curt receive the same...? No Bucky doesn't let himself finish the thought.
"How was it?" Concern bleeds into Buck's voice. Bucky hates how genuine it sounds. He's starting to use that word more than any other. The longer he looks at Buck, the more he has to hate to save his heart.
"Fine," Bucky shrugged stepping further away as they came to a stoplight. "The usual."
"The Bucky I know wouldn't give such a short answer," Buck stepped closer eating up the space Bucky had put between them. "Not unless something happened yesterday. Come on, you okay?"
Bucky felt the words bubbling up his throat.
I saw you. I saw him. Why are you here staring at me like I'm the most important thing in the world when you have him? Why are you doing this to me? I love you. I love you so much it feels like my soul hurts. I hate you.
"Spent most of the night avoiding his staffers." Bucky lied. "Barely saw him, Jack either, yet he still asked me to move home at breakfast."
Buck nods, accepting his lies. Was that what they were now? Not a relationship, simply a lie? Bucky wasn't sure anymore. His heart thumped against his rib cage, anger and love in every other beat, but he wasn't sure which would win.
Buck had become his whole world in such a short amount of time. He thought the feeling was mutual, but yesterday showed just how stupid Bucky really was.
"How about this," Buck nudged his hip. "Why don't I stay over tonight? We'll binge a few movies, order something, and have night in. Then,"
Buck paused with a stupid grin that, despite himself, Bucky still found charming. Fuck, he was truly pathetic for this.
"I'll sweep you off your feet and take you to bed. How does that sound?"
"Won't Curt be expecting you?" The question pops out of him without meaning to. Gale furrows his brow, confusion growing in his eyes.
"Curt won't miss me tonight."
Sure, he won't, Bucky thinks bitterly.
✨️
"John," Jack's voice was a surprise. Especially considering it was his father's number calling him.
"You've gotten much better at your Jack impression," Bucky answers just to be annoying. "Does he know you impersonate him on official numbers?"
"You're not as funny as you believe."
"Ooh, you even have his disapproving tone down. I feel like he's in the room with us!" Bucky laughs. He peers around the corner. Buck's still where he left him, buried in his phone texting someone.
Bucky doesn't let himself think about who that person is.
"Your father wants to invite you to a dinner tomorrow. You can even bring that boy that walked you home. The one that hasn't left." Pages flip in the background as Jack talks. Probably governmental reports his father was supposed to read.
"You know you're not his chief of staff anymore?" Bucky leaned his hip against the counter. "You don't have to read reports or wrangle his kid to government dinners to help his image as a family man. You're his husband now, you're the family."
"You're my kid too by that logic, so wrangling you gets to stay on my resume." Bucky snorts out a laugh. "Besides, it's not a state dinner or anything. He just wants to see you."
Guilt gnaws at his heart. Buck pokes his head into the kitchen, phone no longer holding all of his attention.
"Fine," Bucky groans. "But if he brings up the apartment again, I'm walking out with my food on my plate even if it's the good plates."
"See you tomorrow at 7 then. Bring your boy." Jack hangs up without a goodbye.
✨️
It'll be me, and it'll be you, Buck.
Don't count on it.
Bucky jerks awake. His dream flashes through his head too fast for him to remember anything. Scenes superimpose over each other, words jumble together. At least this one wasn't a nightmare. Those always left him shakey and off balance all day.
His dreams have always been vivid, ever since he was a kid. The child psychologists he'd gone to had said it was normal and simply a sign of a well developed imagination.
Bucky runs a hand through his hair groaning when he glances towards his bedside clock. It's nearly an hour until he has to get up, but he knows that he won't be getting back to sleep before then.
Buck lays curled up next to him on the bed. Bucky reaches out to brush a hand through the other's hair. Buck twitches leaning into the feeling for half a second but doesn't stir beyond that.
Bucky sighs. Extricating himself from Buck's long limbs takes time. Somehow in the night, Buck had nearly fused them together as if even asleep the man refused to let him go. Arms layered over arms. Legs tangled together. It's an excellent distraction from his dreams but not from the problems of the waking world. If only he could forget those once he woke up like he did his dreams.
It's only when he's pouring water for his coffee that he realizes he recognizes the voice from his dream. A first for him.
It'd been Buck's.
✨️
(Not a confrontation I know, but it builds my AU lol)
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coconut530 · 5 months
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Some derps for the past three Malevolent episodes ~ 🕷️👩🏻🎄
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a-s-levynn · 2 months
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@corviisquire You have no idea how much i love you for this creature design
Btw the gold parts and the tentacles are glossy and have a slight 3d effect, the scanner just can't pick it up
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JONNY WITH A PUPPY AFTER PRACTICE 🥹🥹
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adhdandcomics · 11 months
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adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:
i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience
and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!
i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!
i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time
so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.
and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.
because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.
anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
#i think the article did have some good points especially on the capitalism and marketing angle but i oft think it did venture into#being mad at individual folks who post jokes about adhd. which is literally fine thats what an opinion piece is for lol#i am just very tired of people pretending that a lot of reaction to online adhders is not in itself just an extension of the ableism#we already were facing#'adhd people are so annoying everyone does this youre pathologizing everything' ok and how exactly are you helping.#i hesitate to throw my hat in with hating on adhd tiktok because i am simply not on tiktok and have no way to back up my thoughts#that they may be annoying and oversimplifying a complex disorder on the 'drains your attention span' website.#and i think perhaps the value of each adhd resource varies widely depending on who made it and what theyre even posting.#sometimes its a joke made by a person with adhd. sometimes its sourced and cited research. sometimes its someone discussing their personal#experiences in depth. sometimes its someone talking completely out of their ass. sometimes its THINLY veiled ableism.#its up to the individual to research and determine the value of the memes and resources you seek#anyway. perhaps these points are tough to clarify on sites like insta and twitter. bless.#text#adhd#im punk now#oh and yeah i also agree lots of folks do not talk about the unsavory parts of adhd but rather the funnies and the sillies. but that is#once again a larger capitalism and marketing and ableism problem#r we not talking about them because we are actively trying to infantalize this disorder or is it because we collectively experience a lot#of internalized ableism and hesitate to talk about our worst symptoms for fear of the backlash#weve always gotten about them 🤔🤔🤔#much to consider#if youve read this far sorry for tangent number 56 about this. but also start being more unapologetic about your disorders. fuck it!#<3
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lesbaurinkos · 4 months
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they call me the world’s number one fan of dnp’s ffxiv catboys (who bought matching red and blue carbuncle mounts if you care). just like they call fditl the most important video to ever exist in the world
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bingus-khan · 1 year
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everybody talks about how he don’t know whether 2 laugh or 2 cry but where is my love for him rubbing his forehead
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 9 months
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bumblingbabooshka · 7 months
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The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.
#EMH (pretending to be B'Elanna after having just SPRINTED down the hall): You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman would you ??;;#Tuvok: (in the most 'give it up' tone possible) ...Come with Me doctor =_=#Tuvok gets docked points for falling for the ol' 'cough cough im sick' excuse but gains them all back by getting suspicious and starting#an investigation all on his own in the background <3#Also Janeway being held captive and being just kinda pissed about the whole situation...yeah#HEHEHE I like this episode it's funny but also the stakes are high#Janeway sort of smirking and doing the 'come here' motion when that alien man was like 'do you know how to fix this?' - her swag.....#Janeway (captive and stressed beyond belief about the warp core): Yeah I have time to serve dom vibes#Tuvok - Chakotay - Janeway: Each having uniquely bad days#(Worst Security disaster ever - Got put in a morgue for hours - Held captive and threatened with death: + Voyager stranded)#I know Chakotay was unconscious for the morgue thing but still#Chakotay: -opens his eyes to see Tuvok standing there-#(they share a look like 'yeah it's some LIFE THREATENING scooby doo bullshit again')#Hey Chakotay maybe next time don't tell the imposter that you know they're an imposter right to their face <3#Just some tactical strategy for next time <3 <- I love him I'm just being a bitch HEHEHE it was funny to me#Doctor: Hey I know we're in the middle of a serious thing here but like. Why don't we. You know. Hang out???#Janeway: -sharp intake of breathe- ......ohhhh I don't really...DO hanging out.#YAY NAR~!!!!! GET HIS ASS~!!!#Nar I hope you live a simple but fulfilling life as a junk dealer or whatever it is you were talking about god bless <3#Doctor: Now that I might die I have some last requests v_v Captain...throw my diary away. DO NOT. READ IT. Tuvok...I told Neelix about that#rash you got on your ass. We laughed about it for weeks. Sorry.#and then I smile and giggle and ass 'ass rash' to the Tuvok lore#SNRKEHEHE DAMN. HE GOT HARRY TOO???#'Sorry I said you sucked absolute shit at playing the saxophone. I should have phrased it more delicately...damn it. It all becomes so clea#when you face the end.' (Harry: You said w hat????) SEVEN-!!#Seven: Stay over there computer boy =_=#SNRKEHEHEHHEHHAHAHAH#Janeway:....Is he...? / B'Elanna: NO. I've got him =_= I just deleted all that spam. He's FINE.#livetweeting
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yeyayeya · 1 month
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I don’t see enough Feng Xin x Jian Lan content and it makes me sad
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savage-rhi · 2 months
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.Magenta.
#in a nut shell...#my whole team betrayed me minus 2#i was told and swore up and down that my absences related to disability were not an issue#come to find out that wasn't the case#there was resentment and everyone did a damn good job putting on an act and masking#i cannot begin to describe the kind of betrayal i am feeling#i believe in being transparent especially if you're part of a team of people who help others with mental health issues#i expressed many times that if my conditon caused inconvenience or problems then approach me and we can navigate around it together#i worked with these people for over 10 months and no one said a damn thing#i had no indication or inkling there was anything amiss even when i inquired before.#even my supervisor who was supportive and freely gave me and approved of time off lied to my face#and as a i handed in my belongings today everyone was ordered not to engage with me because on monday i utilized the chill space#aka the rage room after hours when the kids were gone because after getting interrogated by HR trauma from former work places came up#and with long covid stuff im still figuring out i needed a spot to vent#im not the only employee btw that used that room for personal raging everyone at some point has used it to either be contemplative#scream or toss punch and throw things so long as the kids are not on grounds we can do that#yet when i finally hit that point and want to decompress safely suddenly i am the dangerous monster#these people are supposed to be trauma informed#well trauma informed my ass#on a positive blessing i never have to work with these assholes ever again and i pray we never meet in public#its going to take a long time and a lot of healing before i think i will be able to trust people fully again#savage magenta#magenta is my vent word
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disaster-racing · 2 years
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lemongogo · 5 months
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WAH i relate really hard to ur feelings of being burnt out from work and the weather and everything...genuinely jobs r hell im so tired by the end i cant even draw i do wanna say that i build up motivation and creativity by looking what other people are doing. i love coming up with ocs and premises, so a lot of what i want to work on is visualization. i try to be specific in what im studying, so i look a lot towards design and composition of an illustration, with a minor focus on mood and style. in this regard, you're an incredible inspiration. you have wonderful diversity of character poses and composition, a very appealing style, and a MASTERFUL use of color, using both bold and subtle tones highly effectively and in alignment with the mood of rest of the piece. i think youre deeply creative in how you build and frame the moments you depict, and you do so in a manner that uses your incredible technical skill. i hope art will be fun for you soon, bc i love seeing what you create.
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thank u.. soo much.T__T ive been sitting here trying to figure out how 2 respond but im at a loss for words rn and all i can say is thank u . THANK YOU !! GENUINELYY.!! like tears of gratitude
i know how difficult it can be to gather up the energy to write smth out like this, so i just wanted to say thank you , above all, for taking the time to listen to & reassure me. like thats so freaking nice of you to do.. you didn't have to, but you did && it means so much, especially knowing that you are going through something similar..T__T i hope you can find some time for yourself amid it all and that you're given the space to fully enjoy your ocs again and work towards the sort of visualization that youve always wanted to have in your own art. i have faith in u!! like u have faith in mee <3 .
& you are so right in saying that this is one of the best times to stop and actually look and. deconstruct, digest the works around u . so many incredible artists out there w their own ideas, with their own interpretations, styles, etc. that is there to be studied and admired. soo much art that has been created & will be created , and that it will be ookayy in the end... so hard 2 remember but genuinely so valuable to keep in mind.
as for everythng u said abt my art .I WISH I CLD LIKE. need to shake u by the shoulders. thank uu . thank u thank u so much.. thank u . ty. T__T thank u.. i hope you have a wonderful evening
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