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srlkiller · 1 year

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Have you ever thought that maybe ur more sick than u think and maybe it’s actually u that’s the issue… might be something to think about

OK SO i hav a million asks in my inbox but this 1 is so beyond ignorant & passive aggressive for quite literally no reason bc why are u so invested in my life for…? lmao.

have u ever thought that maybe u don’t actually know me or anything that’s going on in my real life.. whether it is the shit that i am currently going through (which is numerous forms of abuse by my parents) or all of the things that have happened in my past.. im talking about in REAL LIFE. bc this is the internet.. a literal blog site where i randomly type things whenever im either really heated or bored as shit. n that’s rare now. this year n probably last year too i posted rants like.. give or take, every like… 3-6 months (if that). so u either got this whole image, ideology & ‘persona’ of me from a blog site.. or the very very few sporadic Insta stories i post which are mainly songs i like, memes or funny vids reposted? lmao.. i don’t post on my own Insta anymore. i literally only use youtube or zeus network now & i actually hav a private tumblr that only i can see. this 1 doesn’t get used, u must hav missed wen i posted about that :(( anyone who knows me/has known me irl.. or has been following me for a while knows that im a very open person.. & ive been open for YEARS on this dumb ass blog (which clearly ur privy too… bc u read my posts n lurk my page lmao 🫠)the whole “have u ever thought that ur ‘more sick than u think” is such an ignorant fucking statement. like.. i know exactly what is ‘wrong’ w me & im actually perfectly fine as long as i do not get triggered by certain people in my environment (which is the issue at hand among others with that same individual & other family). as ive aged & gone through so much these past 5/6 years i have grown & evolved so much as a person that whatever ‘persona’ you seem to have of me being ‘sick’ doesn’t exist today… unless you’re referring to my physical health issues? then yes ive been sick these past 2 weeks & do get ‘physically sick’ quite often due to my chronic severe physical health conditions.

ive been more than transparent (probably too transparent tbh) on here as well as my Instagram for many many years about my mental health issues + physical health issues. all of my conditions/disorders are chronic conditions that i have to live & deal w for the rest of my life.. so things like 4eva tryna find the right treatments for EVERY condition, spending thousands on operations, doctors, specialists, hospitals, medications that don’t work or give you awful side effects, meds that do work but cost hundreds, meds that are addicting with no warning from the doctors ect ect but the biggest thing of all is simply just tryna function each day like a normal human being whilst being in a very toxic environment with zero support, love or care from those who are supposed to nurture & protect you. so yeah sometimes i do get fucking angry, frustrated n upset about that shit n just wanna rant on here about my feelings. there are certain things i share on here wen i hav no one else 2talk too.. im an only child & hav gone thru sm shit with past ‘friends’ & exs in such a short amount of time i could truly write a whole book or movie script on it all. but instead i write things on here. it made me go absolutely crazy then turn into a total paranoid recluse. it was a soul destroying experience but one of the most powerful life lessons to be able to learn. it made me who i am today n changed me completely.

BUT- n real life tho.. you really do not know my situation.. you do not know me.. & you do not know what i deal with on a daily fucking basis. id love to see u try n live even jus a day as me irl...u would 100% neck urself before the day was even over. im not stupid.. i research everything when it comes to my conditions & diagnosis’s. i also studied psychology & did a major in forensic psychology while doing a bachelor of law & justice. ive studied the DSM-5, done every kind of therapy & treatment plan you can imagine. ive been in treatment since i was like 11/12. i understand myself very well. the mental health conditions that i have are a direct result of childhood trauma & several kinds of abuse by my parents from childhood all the way up to now.. if u are that interested in me & my life then perhaps u should google all of those conditions & do some research on them to gain a better understanding of the hows, why’s & whats. that’s called knowledge baby, u should gain some🖤 & perhaps u should consider going straight to the actual source… whatever it is u wanna know, just ask me.

what’s super interesting is that i took my tumblr link off my Insta a long time ago so it’s like bro.. did you just memorise my tumblr name so u can keep coming back to the page to lurk then send me a sassy little message to jab at me every couple months …. orrrr do you follow me but ur really that pussy that you put ur shit on anonymous? tbh both options are pitiful & just scream.. U A BITCH. people like you are all bark.. n no bite. it’s giving stalkerish fan vibes… this has been going on for like over a year now.. maybe even longer, idek. why not come off ANONYMOUS tho? why not just dm me if u feel so strongly about the issue n are so invested in this shitshow? u seem to hav a lot to say to me n id LUV to hear it! u got some suggestions for me? u got the answers? suggestions for self help books? shiiiiid… we could even talk on the phone if u want? u got FaceTime on yo fone?

if u don’t hav my Insta I’d b happy to giv it to you.. jus send me some asks on anonymous u know how to do that. looking forward to hearing back from u & getting to know u better! hope i quenched ur thirst xxx

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undercat-overdog · 2 years

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How about some commentary on one of only two tentacley silvergifting fics out there: An Eye more ancient than Arda

For a DVD meme that I’m only answering several weeks late... For this fic, and thank you for the ask! 🐙

It is a travesty that there are only two tentacly silvergifting fics and I am glad to have done my duty in contributing to sg tentacle porn. The tags, which I am proud of, summarize the fic quite well: Established Relationship, xeno I suppose?, Tentacles, eldritch body horror, educational erotic etchings.

I think this has the first lines of fiction I wrote? And while there’s some things I’d change, I also think it holds up quite well, especially in the imagery and the last few lines. (And no one can convince me that Celebrimbor’s not into xeno.)

The first scene, in which Celebrimbor finds Annatar’s educational erotica, was written after the sex itself. I thought the sex was unusual enough to want some actual setup, not just a couple hundred words of it. Annatar’s porn collection to the rescue - it’s my firm headcanon that Annatar bought Arda’s equivalent to the Kama Sutra and other sex manuals as soon as he realized he might have acquired an elf. The picture that draws Celebrimbor’s attention in Annatar’s book of erotic etchings is, of course, The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. Some tentacle porn in your tentacle porn?

I’d clean up the dialogue a bit in this section were I editing or rewriting, but otherwise make no changes. I did go through at one point and change all the ‘Tyelperinquar’s in the dialogue to ‘Celebrimbor,’ because the two of them are def speaking Sindarin.

He had, at times, seen infinity, or something approaching it, in Annatar's mind – the whirling dance of dark planets, the boiling birth of the universe, non-things no language could describe - I like this. I can’t do math, but I can do astronomical imagery.

“I find myself unaccountably fond of your mind, Tyelpe. I'd rather not destroy it with the sight.” - Annatar is going to need a much better reason than xeno kink to destroy his boyfriend’s mind! (Although Celebrimbor is going to have a terrible metaphysical hangover afterwards.)

Finally, after a sleepless week of work and a solid day of sleep, Celebrimbor grew restless and sought him out - elves who sleep every night for a solid eight hours like humans do makes no sense to me? I’m not certain they have circadian rhythms. If they do, they developed after the sun and moon rose.

The second section is the tentacle porn with an eldritch demi-god. Again, I’d clean up the prose a touch but I really do like the imagery. I also might lean more into the tentacle porn aspect of it, but maybe not. (I don’t think it’s all that porny? Probably still more explicit than mature.)

The imagery I used for Annatar was primarily eyes, wolves, gears, and tentacles, though rereading I went for less consistent imagery than I thought I had, and there’s a lot of “this seems cool and alien.” I’d add in smell were I rewriting this, Annatar at this stage smelling of ozone and petrichor, no need for perfume to conceal the stench yet. How much of that is true to Sauron? He��s associated with eyes and wolves, though not tentacles and is definitely adding them in because his bf’s a monsterfucker, but otherwise it might be Celebrimbor’s brain using imagery to understand something that is entirely unphysical, or Sauron projecting it. I don’t think Annatar is shapeshifting here, more just letting some of his metaphysical self through. At any rate, I wrote all of the blocking/physical actions as entirely possible with Annatar’s normal Elda-like form.

Annatar's torso – was it even a torso? No, more a head, a whirling cloud, ringed with turning gears and wet-furred tentacles, and it was made of a thousand fiery eyes. - Inspired by Biblical angels, of course.

What entered his mouth was not a cock but a tongue, no, a tongue with teeth, now a tentacle, [...] everything was splintering breaking dissolving - I think these two paragraphs are the first lines of fiction I ever wrote? (I snipped a bit, for space.)

Celebrimbor saw with some small bit of Annatar's vision the sound bouncing off the walls of the room, but the waves did not look like waves ought, sinusoidal curves did not move so... - more, just, Annatar is alien. He is in and even of Arda, but he is not made of the same things as Arda. Also I think this bit is cool.

It was – it was – tendrils around him and inside him, perhaps slick, perhaps solid, [...] then there was a palm pressed against his jaw and tentacles in his mouth again, biting at his tongue. - it is sex, after all.

Annatar pressed into his mind as he had his body, and it opened for him as had the flesh. Celebrimbor felt his perception slip: in the air whirled uncolors and impossible fractals. Everything slipped. - Elves totally have telepathic sex! Uncolors: while Sauron has bound himself to Arda and helped make it, he’s still not of it in the way that Celebrimbor is, and there are things about him that cannot be understood by Arda’s natural laws. (Also, fractals - I do think Celebrimbor is a math synesthete as per thearrogantemu’s depiction, but no way can I write it.)

What was inside him was a flame, and his nerves sparked to light, and a pale fire ran under his skin, a conflagration that consumed everything in its path. - I think this is pretty. Also, I never really go into Celebrimbor’s physical reactions or whether or not he gets off, but I think he does. He certainly has a good time. This line is meant to describe sexual pleasure (though on a metaphysical as well as physical level), not Annatar himself. I don’t go for the fanon that he’s a fire maia, however that’s portrayed (I wouldn’t associate him much with fire, rather wolves, vampires, and (especially) eyes).

Celebrimbor could barely move; he felt distant from himself, like his body was not him, but he made himself catch Annatar's hand in his. “I see you,” he murmured. “Thank you.” - Like, what is seen and what is hidden and what is deliberately shown is a cool theme with these two. Also, Annatar was extremely nervous about how Celebrimbor would react, though I highly doubt he admitted it to himself, but is accepted and loved and treasured for what he is <3 (Minus the Sauron part!! But that’s well in the future, they’ll have plenty of kinky sex before then.)

Celebrimbor, Annatar whispered in his thoughts, precious one, my own, and Celebrimbor drifted off to sleep with memories that were not his, of a formless void where dusty stars spun into being with weight and sudden fiery light. - ‘precious’ has become a bit pat to me and I’m now quite a bit leery about using it, though I still do (typically as an adjective and not a vocative. Sauron in Bones uses it to describe Celebrimbor and the Ring both, but more along the lines of ‘it’s precious to me’ or ‘something precious,’ never ‘Tyelpe my precious’ or something like that). But I really love the imagery here.

In his dreams there was an ever-watching eye, and he smiled. - killer end line, if I do say so myself!

#ask #aipilosse #writing #was and will be sporadic on tumblr due to a major family thing #but i plan on taking care of the inbox even if i don't get a chance to check my dash #not that i was active before much #self-indulgence #meme #🐙🐙🦑#i'm always a fan of squid sauron #meta

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sosmartme · 3 years

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Law

Hello everyone, I’m 28 years old and go by Monster and my pronouns are she/her/them/them. I just wanted to start this off by saying I made this blog on a whim so I don’t know how serious I’ll be taking it or how active I’ll be. I also don’t know how long it’ll last but I’m here to have fun. Because of that, I will be making rules on here fairly simple but they are subject to change!

This is a THE SUICIDE SQUAD ONLY portrayal of King Shark. His other interpretations are fairly different to the point I’m not comfortable writing those at this point in time. Will that change? Maybe.

Due to the nature of the movie and King shark, this blog is 18+. If your age is not clearly stated on your blog I will not follow and may not interact. If you lie about your age I will block you.

Also, this is not my only blog so activity may be sporadic. We’ll see how it goes.

For the majority of the time, this blog will run on a queue. I will directly respond to starters/write starters without queuing them in order to get them on my tracker ASAP. Replies, for the most part will be answered in the order I received them. I'll kid of lurk on the weekdays but be more active on the weekends. Also, I wll mostly be on my main RP blog, Ruinous, so if you need me for any reason that is the best way to get in contact with me as its permanently logged in on my tumblr app.

General RP etiquette please: No god modding, no hounding for replies, assuming, no force shipping, mun and muse are not the same, no OOC drama, and please trim your posts.

For the moment the blog is selective but not mutuals only.

I am crossover friendly (again this is only TSS Nanaue so please keep that in mind) as well as OC, multiverse/fandom/ship friendly.

On the topic of shipping, not sure how much of the romantic or sexual kind I’ll be doing. I’m open to the idea but it’ll be a slow process. Any other types of ships I will take them ALL. GIVE ME THE GOOD FRIENDS AND FOUND FAMILY AND EVEN ENEMIES.

While I don’t mind constructive criticism I don’t tolerate blatant hate/negativity. If you don’t like my portrayal, it’s all good in the hood, just don’t come at me sideways. I’m liberal with the block button and just delete anon hate. I’m just here for some fun.

While this version of King Shark is a bit more passive DO NOT underestimate him or provoke him as he has an immense amount of power and will eat and kill someone at the drop of a hat.

I’ll be doing basic formatting: small font maybe some icons? But you’re free to do whatever you want as long as it’s legible! I’m fine writing any length but if I give a multiple paragraph response please don’t shoot me a 1 sentence reply. If you need to drop a thread then go ahead. I’d like a heads up but it’s not required. Any threads not answered within a couple months will automatically be purged.

I don’t have any triggers of my own but if you need something tagged and I’ll add it to my list. My tags for triggers are formatted like “___ tw”. I don’t know if there will be any smut on here but if there is it’ll be tagged as USFW and only put under a read more if requested.

Any art/graphics on the blog are mine unless otherwise specified. DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE.

When it comes to following, it may take me a few days to review the blog but again I’m not mutuals only. So if I don’t follow at first it’s ok! It’s nothing against you and I may have actually missed your follow! I can get easily distracted. But things a blog has to have is an easy way for me to check for rules and about so I know what I’m getting into. If you decide to unfollow me please go ahead and softblock. I won’t ask questions or bother you and if I accidentally follow again just go ahead and hard block me. No hard feelings! I will be doing the same.

For the most part that’s it. Just have fun! This is a hobby not a job! :D

#law

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psychefm · 4 years

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talk to the hand [ booboo stewart ], [ deon damgaard ] is the new kid on the block around here. at [ twenty one ], the [ demi boy ] works at [ chuck e cheese ] in the mall and, like, [ he ] totally reminds us of [ travis birkenstock ]. oh snap! what? their favorite movie is [ addams family values ]???? so is mine! (pepper, she/her, twenty three, est )

ABOUT THE MUN. hey demons, it’s ya gurl pepper

tumblr still hates me, and yk what i hate it right back.

BIO. i need a himbo! i’m holding out for a himbo at the end of the night! he’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be dumb and polite! suicide tw, depression tw, death tw !!!

Deon Damgaard was born from a tryst of passion. In other words, an affair. A very exciting affair, if that makes things any better. Said affair was between his mother, a talented young pianist, and his father, an influential, very much married businessman. You see, his father saw his mother play once and instantly fell in love. He came to every single one of his mother’s performances after that, and every time he did he left her flowers. Extravagant, beautiful flowers, the kind of flowers that make an impact on a woman, apparently. And they must have, because before long Deon’s mother was falling just as in love with Deon’s father as he was with her. And obviously you know what happens next. Deon.

Now, the thing about passionate love affairs is that they’re love affairs for a reason. There’s the love part of course. But there’s also the affair part. And that’s where things get complicated. Because despite being utterly, and completely in love with Deon’s mother, his father was still married. And he had no intention of ending his marriage, even for love.

But Deon’s mother didn’t know that at first. You see, Deon has inherited his mother’s easy optimism. The woman was in love and she believed with absolute surety that the love of her life would ultimately choose her. And so she waited for that day. And waited. And waited.

She spent most of the first few years of Deon’s life waiting, but the longer she waited the less Deon’s father even bothered to come around. The thing with falling in love hard and fast is that you can fall out of love just as quickly. And that’s exactly what Deon’s father did. He fell out of love like it was nothing.

So there was Deon’s mother, with a baby she shared with a man who didn’t love her anymore. One that carried his last name against his wishes, one that even had the name that he’d said he’d always wanted to give a son. One that she loved, truly. But that love wasn’t enough. Because Deon’s mother was in pain. More pain than a little baby like Deon could understand. Enough pain to end her own life.

Deon was six at the time. Not old enough to know what was happening, but old enough to understand that something was wrong. Especially when he quickly found himself in an orphanage. His father never claimed him of course. Deon doesn’t even know if he mourned his mother. Or if he wanted to come to her funeral. All he knows is that he wasn’t there.

There’s not much to be said after that, or at least nothing as poetic as the beginning. Deon was put into the foster system and he was never really wanted again. Well. Maybe that’s not completely true. The truth is no one ever wanted to adopt him. But he always hoped someone would. He’d be passed from family to family to family, bright eyed and hoping like the optimistic child he was. But they never wanted him. Some said he was too hyper. Others said he was too curious. More than a few just said he was too odd, and Deon always found that strange. That he was too odd to keep. Too odd to love.

Of course most of them didn’t expect Deon to be eavesdropping when they said these things so Deon couldn’t really fault them. They didn’t mean to hurt him. And so he could never truly hate them. He couldn’t find it in his heart to. But it was painful, to get his hopes up each time only to have them dashed away. Whether that be by being tossed aside like nothing but a nuisance or tossed around like nothing but a rag doll. It always hurt to seek love and give love and yet never get any in return.

Deon moved to Strawberry, Nebraska at thirteen to be fostered by a cold, gruff couple who didn’t really have much of an interest in him other than the checks he provided. It took a while for Deon to realize that and even longer for him to accept it, and honestly some part of him still hasn’t. Even to this day Deon will try with them, just optimistically hoping that this one extra act of kindness, or one extra attempt at bonding will be the one to break the camels back and make them like him. It never is though. But at the very least Jack and Barb Finchum never got rid of him. They kept him around for the money, and due to this Deon got to stick around Strawberry. Strawberry is the place he’s been the longest in his entire life.

And after Deon realized that he might be around for good he started trying harder than ever to make friends. Prior to Strawberry Deon had never really made many, and honestly he tried to see it as a blessing. I mean, could you imagine having to leave not only your family but also friends time after time? It would be too much to bear. So Deon did his best to see it as a good thing. But now that he had the opportunity Deon was trying harder than ever to find his people. Maybe a bit too hard. Honestly Deon was probably known throughout town for being the weird loud kid, and he was pretty okay with that. I mean, he didn’t know it but he would be okay with it if he did.

Was the guy you’d see at every house party, the guy who would make an elaborate plan to skateboard down the stairwell railing of the school on a dare, who would do your big chemistry project for nothing but a couple of joints and a taco, because that’s another thing, despite being a complete idiot Deon is also somehow a genius. Like he’s stupid, but he’s good at school, mostly because Deon quickly learned that everything in life had a price: food, toys, family, but school? School was free, and he adored it. Okay, maybe not all of it. English and foreign languages and god, history, all of that was painfully boring even if Deon could pass. But science? Science was the one thing that he had to look forward to throughout most of his childhood. And it continued to be that one thing into his young adulthood.

The majority of Deon’s said young adulthood was also spent sporadically behind bars. Let’s just say Deon fell into the wrong crowd. It wasn’t on purpose, Deon has just and likely always will be the kind of person who is eager for friendship. All these kids had to do was be even slightly nice to him and ‘sure, man! i can totally hotwire that car for you!’. That’s not to say Deon was completely innocent himself. Most of his arrests for theft, graffiti, and street racing, were products of his own doing. But sometimes, Deon just happened to be the guy abandoned at the scene of the crime. He never gave up his friends, no matter what the cops threatened him with, but he unfortunately never had the privilege of having his loyalty returned.

Deon stayed out of juvie by the skin of his teeth. It was mostly due to the fact that strawberry wasn’t a particularly big town, and Deon could usually endear the small town sheriff to him with his incessant chatter, and well meaning demeanor. He honestly made friends with more than a few of the cops that had arrested him, and there are more than a few that Deon would still call up today and chat with. He is probably in mall jail all the time for little things honestly. Sorry Peter.

Despite his dabbling in crime, Deon graduated from high school with an almost spotless GPA and partial to full scholarships to more than a few universities including Harvard, MIT, Yale. Deon was kind of startled by all of the offers, but he did have more than a few projects during his years of schooling that caught the universities attention (including making the car from back to the future for fun but also making it so that it could possibly run on electricity, making a small robot that could run on used vegetable oil, etc). But with all the offers, Deon decided to stay local, because I would like to think that he finally made friends here and he could never just leave them now that he did.

I feel like Deon has been working at Chuck E Cheese since he was maybe fourteen? And he loves it, he has the time of his life every shift. Likes to go around and play with the kids, can generally be depended on to fix the animatronics when they’re acting up, honestly probably started working there because he kept fucking with the animatronics for fun in his spare time and realized he could actually fix them too. that said, he still likes to reprogram chuckie himself to like do the worm or something. he has a great time with it, and i am so sorry kath.

okay that’s it i think

HEADCANNONS. if i get shot do i own the bullet? like can i keep it?

this is deon.

fun fact, i originally made deon as an npc in a house party para i was doing with my friend sdkjsdjk he was genuinely made to be as annoying as possible but then my friend actually really liked him so now he’s a whole ass muse. that said if he is annoying… it’s because he was legit designed to be i’m sorry folks sdkjdskj fingers crossed he’s not though! but grating traits he has: never stops talking man, says man, dude, bruh, and bro, constantly. CONSTANTLY. you’ll be having a conversation with him and he’ll just blurt out something completely off topic??? HE’S SO LOUD TOO! And incredibly inappropriate god

that said deon was also inspired by jason mendoza and i literally teared up writing that because i’m still not over the end of the good place so dkjsdkj let’s move on!

loves back to the future and honestly i should have put back to the future as his favourite movie but i really didn’t remember it existed until now.

has a septum piercing, a tongue piercing, a smiley piercing, a nipple piercing on his left nipple and several tattoos, most of which he’s done himself after buying a tattoo gun (honestly you shouldn’t let deon tattoo you because he just does whatever comes to him at the time but also LET DEON TATTOO YOU!). honestly has more than a few earrings too like both ears are probably full of piercings and he’s very proud of all of his them honestly.

loves colour and neon especially, but also loves to wear a lot of black like he’s a whole ass mess. his favourite colour is yellow btw. generally just wears what he likes, but he pretty much never looks polished.

his favourite number is 0!

wears a lot of rings and jewelry as well, you will rarely find your boy without something on his fingers.

has a rat named titty boy that he calls titty for short. his name is titty boy because he only eats hot cheetos and likes to watch garbage tv. as sad as it sounds he was one of deon’s first genuine friends so he loves him like BIG. takes him everywhere like he usually has him in his bag at work, so you can catch titty scurrying around chuck e cheese sometimes.

built a little bot and named him douche bag, or rather deebs for short. also loves him big. deebs is constantly getting updated by deon honestly, but your boy actually probably won a prize when he made him because he’s actually?? very like advanced for what he is (he runs on used oil from fast food chains, has a touch screen, etc). deon literally made him so that he could help him remember to take his pills (deon has clinical depression and adhd, so he needs deebs around to give him that nudge sometimes), and he can do that and more now. deon kind of wants to see if he can break him into the service animal industry, cause he figures he could be good for people who need service animals but have allergies to fur.

gets around, mostly because he is attracted like everybody and feels no qualms about telling them that? and omg he’s also bi btw, no one is surprised. but honestly isn’t really a player just cause he’s too dumb to be one man. like if he was suppose to call you and he didn’t he literally just forgot sdkjsdkj

does not talk about himself at all! ever! like legit learning anything about deon’s past is like pulling teeth!

like i said deon has depression, but like most people probably don’t know that because again,, your boy is close lipped. that said he doesn’t try to hide it, like if you see him taking his pills you see him taking his pills. there are times though that deon will just not be found for a week or two when his depression gets bad. he usually emerges from these occasions chill and chipper as he usually is with sdkmds absolutely no mention of it. i don’t know if he has any friends he’s close enough to that he’d talk to about that though you know, like honestly from deon’s perspective *deon vc* i don’t wanna bring anybody down, man…

says man and bro and bruh and dude WAY TOO MUCH like they punctuate most of his sentences sdkdjs

surfer dude energy. skater dude energy. stoner dude energy.

smokes A LOT of weed. LOVES to party! that guy you see at every house party and have to wonder like??? how is he passing ANY of his classes sdkjsdj how is he SURVIVING

honestly when i usually write deon he’s an MIT graduate so dskjds he definitely got an offer from there that he casually responded to like ‘oh shit, thanks man, but i’m cool!’ sdkjdsjk

sometimes you can catch deon sitting in his car blasting mariah carey and crying in the mall parking lot.

knows all the words to TLC’s waterfalls and will sing it to completion whenever it’s on.

will come to your flat and like fix your heater if it’s acting up. literally just hail deon down if you need anything fixed and he will do it for literally nothing. he just likes to help, and to be wanted around tbh rip

swears A TON omg i almost forgot deon swears constantly dkjds he doesn’t see a problem with it honestly, and he’s never like angrily swearing honestly it’s usually excited swearing but sdkjsdkj he’s a potty mouth nonetheless and if your muse doesn’t swear deon will pay them money to do it despite being BROKE. “will you say fuck for a dollar?” sdkjdsj

PERSONALITY. do u are have stupid? hell yeah brother!

honestly one of my most kindhearted muses. like deon wouldn’t hurt a FLY! he catches spiders in his hands and takes them outside sdkjsdk. like even if you’re a dick to deon he will still be nice to you! never gets mad at ANYBODY, like it’s so rare to see deon pissed man he has the heart of a surfer dude

just freaking says things man. doesn’t think before he says anything ever. no brain to mouth filter at ALL.

that said he’s a lot smarter than he looks and acts skjdsj but he’s also so so stupid, it’s a bit contradictory honestly because deon is a DUMBASS! but he be knowing things man i can’t explain it. like he has no brain to mouth filter but like if you tell deon a secret no one is ever going to know.

PAINFULLY loyal to his friends like to a fault! even if you betray deon or abandon him he legit will not do the same to you, like if you were ever his friend you will be his friend until the day he dies.

generous. would give the shirt off his back to someone if they needed it

humble? like deon knows he’s good at what he does because people keep telling him that but he doesn’t do it because he’s good at it he does it because he thinks it’s fun and like rewarding, like seeing deebs beeping around just makes him happy.

doesn’t have a competitive bone in his body when it comes to academic success or professional success but when it comes to pacman or tWISTER and suddenly nothing else matters in the world

lowkey still desperately wants friends and to be accepted, and cares a lot more about what people think of him than he lets on, rip

you absolutely could manipulate deon whenever you wanted to, he would skdjdsjk probably never catch on man. it’s like ‘fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, come on man… fool me THREE TIMES?? bro.’ dkjdskj

lowkey sad sometimes because it be like that, but he will hide it the minute there’s someone around him.

one of those muses that is like… are you pretending to be dumb or are you really that dumb? and like legit i don’t even know the answer man and i’ve never actually got to play him long enough to find out so i’m hype for that!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. *tries to crowd surf at a ted talk*

BROS. give deon some a group of close guy friends he will adore them with everything in him!

SOMEONE THAT’S ANNOYED BY HIM. whether you’re trying to go home after your shift and deon is talking your ear off about the toe he found in his subway sandwich, or you have to hear him playing cotton eyed joe over the mall’s speakers (cause deon would do that,,,, i am so sorry peter blooth mall cop) you have a right to be annoyed by him. you are valid.

CONFIDANTE. despite the amount deon likes to talk he’s actually a really good listener and will keep all your secrets forever! so confide in him man, he’s got you. or the other way around someone deon feels like he can confide in and talk to?? a concept.

EXES. give me someone who broke his heart! i’ve never gotten to play brokenhearted deon but it would be fun. or someone who’s heart he accidentally broke, honestly he wouldn’t know it until it was too late sdkjsdkj.

CRUSH. give me someone who has a crush on deon that he is completely oblivious to. give me someone who deon has a crush on that he doesn’t know what to do with! honestly for the most part deon is either very blunt and forward or awkward and dumb with a crush, but either way it will be entertaining for all involved.

DAD FRIEND/MOM FRIEND. deon is a whole mess honestly, and he just needs someone who will make sure he doesn’t die you know? because he’s used to taking care of himself generally but he really will get himself into dangerous situation because he’s just stupid. some random stranger offers deon crack at a music festival? deon will take it! it’s so nice that they offered him some! *deon vc* yoooo, thanks man!

ENEMY. i just find it funny that deon wouldn’t know they are enemies. he’d wave to them and say hi and they’d be like I HATE YOU and he’d laugh like it’s a joke dkjdsk it’d be very one sided but very entertaining.

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. deon has traveled all around america so give this to me friends! they were buds for maybe a bit before he moved or something like?? i want it.

FWB. just really chill buds who also have sex. deon will try to high five them after sdkjdsjk maybe someone involved is catching feelings or maybe they’re just going to always be friends who have seen each other naked, and you know what that’s okay too.

alright that’s all i’ve got for now and yk how it is, please smash that like button if you’d like to plot and i’ll come running.

#d.d. | intro.#vhsintro #god finally done #this is probably a mess and there might be mistakes but i'm tired of looking at it #suicide tw #death tw #depression tw #just in case

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waywardfeathered · 5 years

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yo.

so while writing here may happen the rest of this week, and next week, it is unlikely i will be anything less than highly sporadic. i’m still working on the fic i’m writing for the destiel zine, which is due 27, and also 27 marks the start of this year’s GISH hunt week. my team is ‘in it to win it’, so i just... won’t be writing rp things other than maybe highly sporadic few replies if i have the time and the energy.

my fiance’s situation also affects my activity, and i don’t think i should apologize for that. he has two major illnesses, he deals with daily abuse from his transphobic family, and is still trying to work and survive like with food and bills and debt and things. my brain is most days on a ‘wants to take all the time with him that is available’. sometimes that means writing rp while on a call, mutually doing things alone while still present, but sometimes that means 7-hours-on-discord-with-nothing-else-but-profound-sapping-and-laughing. we need those dates. it’s a rough time, but we’re ok. he’ll move to finland by the end of the year as long as his surgery is before november. we’ll find the money.

(and then we’ll stress about his residence permit and our marriage licence and everything but boo that is easier stress than being apart stress is.)

tl;dr: i am in love, there’re a lot of things to be sorted out, i am busy. i love cas, and i love writing on tumblr, but i just don’t have the time and the energy for the rest of july, and i will have more time and energy as things normalize a little after next week.

#; outofgrace #; fiance tag

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quandongcrumble · 6 years

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Writer meme thingy

tagged by @starlanellwrites

What is your total posted word count on AO3? (Go to your Works, then click Statistics.)

63,403 -- however I’d have probably near 100k of abandoned or unfinished fic sitting on my Evernote, iphone notes, & google docs.

How often do you write?

Very sporadically. Sometimes I get a good streak up and I’ll write daily for a while, and then I won’t even look at my writing for 6 months.

Do you have a routine for writing?

Nope. I should, because I’ve seen how productive people with routines are, but I’m terrified that I’ll just sit and stare at a blank page and then my anxiety will get the better of me, and writing won’t be fun because I’ll be all panicky about it and then... yeah... despite some brilliant antidepressants / anti anxiety meds I still have issues about putting pressure on myself.

What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Wow... that’s difficult.

I’m a multishipper and adore all sorts of pairings, however my favourites are Rhodey/Tony and Fenders. My thing is I’ll fixate on a character more than a ship, and then I’ll read every ship with that character involved. Current fixations are Tony Stark (Marvel) & Anders (Dragon Age). I also fixate on original characters within a fandom universe, but @s-hylor and my fiance are pretty much the only people who gets to read those.

Kinks -- I’m a major sucker for BDSM, especially the masochism and submission parts. I live vicariously through fic because I’m kinky as all get out, but my fiance is about as vanilla as it gets. I guess that was TMI but really, the question was about kinks :P

Tropes -- Oh gawd, all of them. Fake relationship with mutual pining is a huge favourite. Enemies to friends to lovers. Fuck-buddies to lovers. Found family. But then I also love the friends to lovers trope where they’re just so in love with each other and everyone knows it, but it takes them a while to realise.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

I like almost everything I’ve posted, but there’s three that I am excessively proud of.

Promises [x] -- Rhodey/Tony gentle established relationship smutfic I wrote for the glorious @notfknapplicable after we’d known each other on here for a while. Due to our long tumblr relationship and my obsession with her fics, I managed to hit just about every one of her kinks for that relationship with it... pretty proud of that.

It goes like this (just like heroin) [x] -- on again off again Rhodey/Tony that explores Tony’s trouble with addiction through Rhodey’s eyes from the early years through to the end of Iron Man 2. I fucking love this fic. It’s the only one I have insisted on sharing with people outside of fandom. I just... it’s in an experimental style and I actually wrote it all in one glorious evening, in probably just a couple of hours. It’s probably the one I re-read the most.

Beyond Recourse [x] -- Greg/Tony omgdirtybadwrong twincest fic. Is it weird to be proud of a twincest fic? Doesn’t matter, I am. I feel like I captured a heck of a lot of feelings in this one, as well as some hot love/hate sex.

Your fic with the most kudos?

Promises (linked above) has the most. Coming in second is Lazy Light of Morning [x] which is a morning sex smut fic I wrote for @s-hylor.

I don’t have that many smut fics in comparison to non-smut, but the smut seems to be popular.

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

My fickle muse? I don’t know. I think I go mildly out of character a lot, but that doesn’t bother me as much as it should. I feel like a lot of my stuff is a bit same-y, like I can’t get an individual voice for characters that other people manage to do... I don’t know. I think I probably put too much of myself into the character I identify most with.

Now something you do like?

When things are flowing, I can get some serious writing done. I’ve knocked out 10k words in a couple of days before (unfortunately, muse for that fic died so it’s a 10k beginning languishing in my drafts). I feel like I have a poetic way with words that can evoke a lot of imagery. I like when I succeed at hinting what the non-POV character is feeling without the POV character explicitly noticing or accepting it.

Tagging.... @dovabunny, @s-hylor, ummmmm @bonzai-bunny, & @phoenixfalls and anyone else who wants to do it. Please tag me so I can read your answers :)

#writing meme #meme things

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