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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months

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Supervised AI isn't

It wasn't just Ottawa: Microsoft Travel published a whole bushel of absurd articles, including the notorious Ottawa guide recommending that tourists dine at the Ottawa Food Bank ("go on an empty stomach"):

https://twitter.com/parismarx/status/1692233111260582161

After Paris Marx pointed out the Ottawa article, Business Insider's Nathan McAlone found several more howlers:

https://www.businessinsider.com/microsoft-removes-embarrassing-offensive-ai-assisted-travel-articles-2023-8

There was the article recommending that visitors to Montreal try "a hamburger" and went on to explain that a hamburger was a "sandwich comprised of a ground beef patty, a sliced bun of some kind, and toppings such as lettuce, tomato, cheese, etc" and that some of the best hamburgers in Montreal could be had at McDonald's.

For Anchorage, Microsoft recommended trying the local delicacy known as "seafood," which it defined as "basically any form of sea life regarded as food by humans, prominently including fish and shellfish," going on to say, "seafood is a versatile ingredient, so it makes sense that we eat it worldwide."

In Tokyo, visitors seeking "photo-worthy spots" were advised to "eat Wagyu beef."

There were more.

Microsoft insisted that this wasn't an issue of "unsupervised AI," but rather "human error." On its face, this presents a head-scratcher: is Microsoft saying that a human being erroneously decided to recommend the dining at Ottawa's food bank?

But a close parsing of the mealy-mouthed disclaimer reveals the truth. The unnamed Microsoft spokesdroid only appears to be claiming that this wasn't written by an AI, but they're actually just saying that the AI that wrote it wasn't "unsupervised." It was a supervised AI, overseen by a human. Who made an error. Thus: the problem was human error.

This deliberate misdirection actually reveals a deep truth about AI: that the story of AI being managed by a "human in the loop" is a fantasy, because humans are neurologically incapable of maintaining vigilance in watching for rare occurrences.

Our brains wire together neurons that we recruit when we practice a task. When we don't practice a task, the parts of our brain that we optimized for it get reused. Our brains are finite and so don't have the luxury of reserving precious cells for things we don't do.

That's why the TSA sucks so hard at its job – why they are the world's most skilled water-bottle-detecting X-ray readers, but consistently fail to spot the bombs and guns that red teams successfully smuggle past their checkpoints:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/investigation-breaches-us-airports-allowed-weapons-through-n367851

TSA agents (not "officers," please – they're bureaucrats, not cops) spend all day spotting water bottles that we forget in our carry-ons, but almost no one tries to smuggle a weapons through a checkpoint – 99.999999% of the guns and knives they do seize are the result of flier forgetfulness, not a planned hijacking.

In other words, they train all day to spot water bottles, and the only training they get in spotting knives, guns and bombs is in exercises, or the odd time someone forgets about the hand-cannon they shlep around in their day-pack. Of course they're excellent at spotting water bottles and shit at spotting weapons.

This is an inescapable, biological aspect of human cognition: we can't maintain vigilance for rare outcomes. This has long been understood in automation circles, where it is called "automation blindness" or "automation inattention":

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29939767/

Here's the thing: if nearly all of the time the machine does the right thing, the human "supervisor" who oversees it becomes incapable of spotting its error. The job of "review every machine decision and press the green button if it's correct" inevitably becomes "just press the green button," assuming that the machine is usually right.

This is a huge problem. It's why people just click "OK" when they get a bad certificate error in their browsers. 99.99% of the time, the error was caused by someone forgetting to replace an expired certificate, but the problem is, the other 0.01% of the time, it's because criminals are waiting for you to click "OK" so they can steal all your money:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/ema-report-finds-nearly-80-130300983.html

Automation blindness can't be automated away. From interpreting radiographic scans:

https://healthitanalytics.com/news/ai-could-safely-automate-some-x-ray-interpretation

to autonomous vehicles:

https://newsroom.unsw.edu.au/news/science-tech/automated-vehicles-may-encourage-new-breed-distracted-drivers

The "human in the loop" is a figleaf. The whole point of automation is to create a system that operates at superhuman scale – you don't buy an LLM to write one Microsoft Travel article, you get it to write a million of them, to flood the zone, top the search engines, and dominate the space.

As I wrote earlier: "There's no market for a machine-learning autopilot, or content moderation algorithm, or loan officer, if all it does is cough up a recommendation for a human to evaluate. Either that system will work so poorly that it gets thrown away, or it works so well that the inattentive human just button-mashes 'OK' every time a dialog box appears":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/21/let-me-summarize/#i-read-the-abstract

Microsoft – like every corporation – is insatiably horny for firing workers. It has spent the past three years cutting its writing staff to the bone, with the express intention of having AI fill its pages, with humans relegated to skimming the output of the plausible sentence-generators and clicking "OK":

https://www.businessinsider.com/microsoft-news-cuts-dozens-of-staffers-in-shift-to-ai-2020-5

We know about the howlers and the clunkers that Microsoft published, but what about all the other travel articles that don't contain any (obvious) mistakes? These were very likely written by a stochastic parrot, and they comprised training data for a human intelligence, the poor schmucks who are supposed to remain vigilant for the "hallucinations" (that is, the habitual, confidently told lies that are the hallmark of AI) in the torrent of "content" that scrolled past their screens:

https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922

Like the TSA agents who are fed a steady stream of training data to hone their water-bottle-detection skills, Microsoft's humans in the loop are being asked to pluck atoms of difference out of a raging river of otherwise characterless slurry. They are expected to remain vigilant for something that almost never happens – all while they are racing the clock, charged with preventing a slurry backlog at all costs.

Automation blindness is inescapable – and it's the inconvenient truth that AI boosters conspicuously fail to mention when they are discussing how they will justify the trillion-dollar valuations they ascribe to super-advanced autocomplete systems. Instead, they wave around "humans in the loop," using low-waged workers as props in a Big Store con, just a way to (temporarily) cool the marks.

And what of the people who lose their (vital) jobs to (terminally unsuitable) AI in the course of this long-running, high-stakes infomercial?

Well, there's always the food bank.

"Go on an empty stomach."

Going to Burning Man? Catch me on Tuesday at 2:40pm on the Center Camp Stage for a talk about enshittification and how to reverse it; on Wednesday at noon, I'm hosting Dr Patrick Ball at Liminal Labs (6:15/F) for a talk on using statistics to prove high-level culpability in the recruitment of child soldiers.

On September 6 at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.

On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

West Midlands Police (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/westmidlandspolice/8705128684/

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

#pluralistic #automation blindness #humans in the loop #stochastic parrots #habitual confident liars #ai #artificial intelligence #llms #large language models #microsoft

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beckandbulow · 2 years

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How To Make Cuban Picadillo With American Wagyu Beef

Picadillo is a Cuban style of hash traditionally made with ground beef. It has tons of flavors and texture thanks to ingredients like chopped green olives, capers and raisins. Plenty of spices and a touch of coconut sugar make this simple dish completely irresistible. Traditionally served over white rice, picadillo also makes a scrumptious filling for tacos, burritos, quesadillas, sandwiches, etc. Great for breakfast (fry an egg and put it on top), lunch or dinner, it’s versatile and always satisfying.

Ingredients:

🍴 1 tablespoon bison tallow 🍴 2 large cloves of garlic, finely minced 🍴 ½ large onion, chopped 🍴 ½ red bell pepper, chopped 🍴 1 pound American Wagyu ground beef 🍴 ⅓ cup green olives, sliced in half, pits removed 🍴 ½ cup golden raisins 🍴 1 ½ tablespoons capers 🍴 1 cup diced canned tomatoes 🍴 1 tablespoon double concentrated tomato paste 🍴 2 packages sazon seasoning 🍴 1 tablespoon cumin powder 🍴 1 teaspoon coconut sugar 🍴 Sea salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste. https://bit.ly/3pWrwPO

#Cuban Picadillo #American Wagyu Beef #bison tallow #American Wagyu ground beef

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jellogram · 11 days

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Imagine having a fanbase that would give you over a million a year in patreon subs just to watch you get drunk and read ghost stories and you decide to burn it all to the ground because it's not good enough and you want more money so you can eat wagyu beef on camera

#my for you page is like 90% watcher rn so every time i get over it i see more poasts and get mad again #watcher

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katzkinder · 1 month

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Put too much dijon on my burger (again) so now you get burger headcanons. Yeah. I know.

Mahiru: simple and classic hamburger. Rare instance where he prefers premade over doing it himself because a pound of ground chuck makes So Many Patties and he’s just one person. This changes though when he has more people over than ever, especially because it means he can tailor the fat content and ingredients to Misono’s more delicate body so his friend can enjoy a good old burger too. LOVES the Alicein cookouts for giving him access to a fancy outdoor grill.

Kuro: children’s Cheeseburger from WacDonald’s because the onions come pre diced lmao. His only request is that they hold the mustard. The type of person who likes to open his burger up and stuff french fries on it

Sakuya: bacon cheeseburger. He used to get a fried egg on top but one time Belkia said it looked like a pimple ready to be popped and Sakuya can no longer eat it that way. It’s for the best; he never managed to not be messy with the yolk

Tsubaki: veggie burger with avocado and grilled onion. Yes he’s picky about it. Yes he’s a pain in the ass about it too. Yes, Shamrock will make it from scratch for him

Belkia: Meat! meat! Meat! Wagyu beef or bust! Swiss cheese and mushrooms cooked in the beef fat are a must!

Otogiri: you ever seen those crazy burgers with stir fried noodles piled on top? Yeah

Mikuni: eats fast food with surprising regularity. He likes Wanda’s* when it comes to chains, but mom and pop diners always serve the best of the best he’s ever had. They’re so greasy though…

Jeje: Does not like to eat burgers. Will steal mikuni’s fries or onion rings, though

Ildio: do I even need to say it. Bigger is better and the more toppings the more he loves it. Frankly, though, he’s learning to actually enjoy his food instead of inhaling it. Give him time to figure out what he actually likes.

Nicco: like Mahiru, wants to keep it simple. Loves heirloom tomatoes and bread and butter pickles.

Lawless: prosciutto and avocado on a fresh ground patty cooked medium rare. Roasted tomato slice, garlic pepper, and a focaccia bun. Did you expect anything less?

Licht: Basic and familiar WacDonald’s is his go to. Reminds him of late night concerts and the satisfaction of a job well done

Anyone else have some ideas??

*Wanda’s, the servamp equivalent of Wendy’s

#servamp #kat’s katerwauling #mahiru shirota #servamp Kuro #sakuya watanuki #servamp Belkia #servamp otogiri #servamp Tsubaki #servamp Ildio #niccolo carpediem #servamp jeje #Mikuni Alicein #servamp lawless #licht jekylland todoroki #did I miss anyone

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funnyfooddatabase · 5 months

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Arby's Good Burger 2 Meal

Food AND Drink

Type of Funny Food: Tie-In Product

Introduced: November 2023

Location: Arby's

In preparation for the Paramount+ sequel to the 1997 comedy film Good Burger, fast food hamburger chain Arby's released the Good Burger 2 Meal.

The meal came with a deluxe wagyu steakhouse (half ground beef half wagyu) burger on a brioche bun made with American cheese, pickles, tomato, red onion, shredded lettuce, and burger sauce, along with crinkle cut fries, and a special strawberry milkshake. Additionally, the burger came with a special Good Burger 2 Meal sticker.

Images courtesy of Arby's, jackmovejohnny on Twitter, and Cool_DJ_ICE on Twitter.

#funny food #food #tie in #good burger #film #movie #restaurant

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cruelfeline · 3 months

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Korean open-face Wagyu sliders with spicy kimchi slaw and mango salad.

Yes, I know it's pointless to have ground Wagyu beef. No, I don't care because these are delicious!

#cf cooks

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wellthebardsdead · 2 years

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Shimada coffee an who ordered the hotdog?? ~Bambi

———

Sojiro: *pushing the shopping cart with the kids inside, following Jack through the store while Gabe runs off to grab other supplies for the bbq* everyone’s staring…

Jack: hm? *turns to see a bunch of other customers all recognising him as the golden boy of overwatch* oh don’t mind them. *smiles and waves at the people before gently ushering Sojiro and the kids along to the meat section*

Sojiro: *nervously looking away feeling uncomfortable with so many eyes on him* wh-what was it we had to get again?

Jack: *holds up a list* about 30 packs of ground beef, 50 packs of hotdogs and 40 packs of steak.

Sojiro: mm, *immediately reaches into the shelf and pulls out a pack of wagyu beef*

Jack: woah hold up there! Not that steak you wanna go broke over a bbq??

Sojiro: *tilts his head in visible confusion* but we’re having guests, it’d be rude to give them less, besides, I can afford it.

Jack: *somehow managing to look shocked and calm at the same time* how much money did you say you took from your family??

Sojiro: *remembering he still hasn’t revealed the full truth about his past* a-a lot alright. *huffs putting the steak back*

Jack: *eases up knowing family is a touchy subject for his boyfriend* hey, don’t be like that pumpkin. *leans in giving his cheek a gentle smooch*

Sojiro: *not at all used to public displays of affection, bright red shyly hiding his face behind his hand* j-Jack- p-people are staring-

Cole: *sitting in the cart* bleeeeggghh gross pa!!

Hanzo: *sitting beside Cole with sparkly eyes just happy his dad is loved, gives a lil thumbs up* mm!

Genji: *definitely just did his business and needs a diaper change* AAAAEEEEHHH!

Gabe: *walks over with a shopping cart full of beer and soda* I thought it might be you making that rack- ey! You two getting in on kisses and I ain’t? *pecks Soji on the other cheek just making the former yakuza melt*

Sojiro: *practically glowing red* s-stop it y-you p-pair- *hurriedly squeezes away from them grabbing literally every single steak off the shelf in varying prices before tossing it into the cart with the kids and speeding off to the checkout*

Jack: *snickers* he forgot the hotdogs and ground beef.

Gabe: I say we just get the hotdogs and have that and steak roulette. Take a bite and guess how expensive it is.

Jack: that- sounds fun actually let’s do that.

*the next day*

Ana: *taking a bite of her steak burger* mm! I must admit they really went all out on this! I’ve never had a steak like it.

Reinhardt and Torbjorn: *trying to pull apart a steak so rubbery it’s practically a car tire*

Reinhardt: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!

#meanwhile Sojiro is 3 hotdogs in and going back for a fourth #overwatch #overwatch shitposts #gabriel reyes #jack morrison #cole cassidy #hanzo shimada #genji shimada #Sojiro shimada #Shimada coffee #coffee shop au

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park-ranger-is-my-comfort-animal · 1 year

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These Woods Aren't Your Home || Jerry Melano (Solo)

Timing : The recent past Location : Wicked's Rest State Park Summary : Park Ranger Jerry Melano tries to enjoy the dawn of a beautiful new day, but duty comes first when a terrified visitor stumbles his way and needs protection from the local wildlife.

Warnings Physical & Psychological Abuse (suggested, not overt), Feelings of Fear / Terror, Violence (suggested, not overt)

The park was especially beautiful at this time of the morning. The sky had that kind of pre-dawn glow that made promise of a glorious sunrise and the wilderness felt like it was holding its breath, waiting for the new day to start. A few birds gave voice to premature song - testing their voices for the chorus to come - as the early-rising grazers snuffled around in the undergrowth seeking out the tastiest morsels before the morning rush turned breakfast into a melee.

There was a slight chill in the air, not unexpected for the time of year, and a haze of mist clung to the dew soaked plants lending the grove an almost mystical quality. A handful of stars still painted the sky between the drifting clouds, as if the Night was trying to hang on a little longer and witness the new dawn as well. Somewhere overhead the Moon would be slowly gliding towards the opposite horizon, pursuing Night's velvet cloak across another slumbering place, but the towering great pines blocked her from view. Still, just knowing she was there brought a special kind of comfort.

Everywhere felt at peace.

Jeremiah Melano - known to his few friends as Jerry - gently swung the pack off his shoulders and lowered it to the ground, being careful not to startle any of the wildlife (or wyrdlife for that matter) that would have observed his arrival. They were almost impossible to spot in the pre-dawn light, even with Jerry's exceptional eyesight, concealed as they were among the bracken and foliage, but there was no mistaking the individual scents in that riotous kaleidoscope of forest smells. White-tailed deer, martens, thrushes and cottontails all watched carefully, ready to run at the slightest provocation. Jerry could taste their fear, each having a different flavor and texture unique to the species. It was like a taster menu, and each sensation was an exquisite morsel on Jerry’s tongue. His stomach growled loudly in anticipation of a larger meal, nearly scaring a nervous cottontail into fleeing. Jerry chuckled to himself, carefully taking a zip-lock bag of trail mix from his jacket pocket, scattered a handful on the ground before eating any himself. A pair of Martens, their own hunger momentarily overcoming any apprehension they felt, dashed out and snatched some banana chips and roasted nuts before diving back into cover, but it was enough to give some of the others confidence. Smiling to himself in peaceful satisfaction, Jerry chewed on the mix of fruits and nuts as more woodland creatures came out to help themselves to his shared breakfast as the sun started to crest the horizon, sending out shafts of molten gold to herald the new day.

Distracted by the beauty of the moment, Jerry almost missed the scent of a young woman as she crashed through the undergrowth, but there was no ignoring the abject terror that came off her in waves. After having his taste buds teased by the nervous fear of the forest animals, this was like being suddenly slapped in the face with a piece of exquisitely-prepared Wagyu Beef.

The wildlife scattered as she stumbled into the clearing, eyes wide in panic as the wild haired woman cast repeated glances into the forest behind her. She wasn’t dressed for spending the night in the State Park; her dirty feet were bare and the ripped jeans that she wore were sodden and mud-stained. She was trying to hold her flimsy satin top up with one hand where the thin spaghetti strap had broken, but her hands were shaking so much that she kept dropping it. On seeing Jerry, the young woman froze like one of the woodland creatures, unsure whether to run or hide. It was clear that there was no fight in her, she was exhausted and her legs were just barely holding her up.

Jerry wet his lips as he got up slowly, keeping his hands in view and wide open, trying to present himself as calm and non-threatening. The temptation to gorge himself on her terror was difficult for Jerry to ignore, but he’d learned a long time ago not to be a slave to his bugbear heritage. He was much more than that now, a Senior Park Ranger with duties and responsibilities that mattered more to Jerry than anything the circumstances of his birth had ever given him.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. I ain’ gonna hurt ya,” Jerry said quietly, turning towards the panic-stricken woman, while keeping his hands raised. Her eyes fixed on his golden badge as the dawn’s light flashed off its metallic surface, and a heart-rending sob suddenly broke out of her. She ran forward and collapsed into Jerry’s arms, tears flowing freely down her dirt streaked cheeks as she clung to him.

Jerry gently wrapped those arms around her, offering comfort in a soothing voice as he might to a child or wounded animal. The woman buried her face into his padded jacket, her body shaking with every sob and cry that she uttered.

Somewhere amongst the shadows between the trees, along the trail of broken undergrowth that the scared young woman had left behind in her panicked flight, a figure moved.

Raising his head, Jerry sniffed the air. There were three of them, all young males and all bugbears like him, making their way carefully through the forest towards the clearing. It was obvious to Jerry that they were in human-form, which at least meant there was a chance that they could be reasoned with.

Extricating himself from the young woman’s grip, he removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, guiding her to sit on the mossy ground behind them. She jumped and gave a tiny squeal of fear as he raised his voice to address the trio hiding in the woods.

“Y’all might as well come out into the open, fellas,” Jerry said, his voice projecting authority as he signaled for the scared woman to remain still and quiet. “I already know there’s three of you out there and it’s too damned early in the day to be chasing anyone through these woods.”

The shapes stepped out from the gloom into the new day’s light, their shadowy figures coalescing into three bare-chested young men, probably no more than sixteen years old to Jerry’s eyes. The one in front grinned at Jerry with teeth that seemed too white and too large for his thin-lipped mouth.

“Well shit, Ranger Yogi, we was just out trying to find little Darlene there… She got away from us, didn’t ya, Darlene?”

His voice tried to drip honey and sound sincere at the same time, but there was an edge to it that Jerry recognised; hunger. The Ranger rested a hand on the handle of the revolver holstered at his hip, and returned a smile of his own towards the adolescent.

“We both know what you were doing out here, Pike. Now you and your boys have had your fill of fun and breakfast, so why don’t you turn around and head on home now… and if your friend keeps trying to creep around me like that, I’m gonna make sure that he regrets it.”

A second boy, his cropped blonde hair spiky with sweat, froze as the one named Pike glared at him.

“But she’s still good for a meal or two, and me and the boys is still hungry. You can taste her fear, can’t you, Yogi? My Pa told me that you ain’ much of a bugbear, but I bet you can still taste that fine terror on her skin. We might even share her with you, if you treat us nice, old man.”

“You think chasing some woman that you picked up at a bar through the woods is real fear?,” Jerry scoffed, his voice tight and low. “Your Pa’s right, I ain’ much of a bugbear ‘cos I wasn’t never scary, not like you boys. I had to learn about fear, to understand it and how it can affect folks in different ways.”

“What’s your point, Yogi Bear?” the last of the trio piped up, looking confused.

Jerry smiled. “You ever learn about the ‘Fight or Flight’ response? I don’t suppose it’s anything real bugbears like you would care much about. See, when a creature feels threatened, its gotta decide in an instant whether to run away or try to fight. It’s triggered by fear, you see - fear for yourself, fear for your home, fear for your family - and not everything runs away from what it fears.”

“Get to the damned point!” Pike yelled, taking a step forward, his eyes flashing angrily at Jerry’s still smiling expression.

“Truth is, this forest ain’ your home, boys. It’s theirs... and they know how best to protect it.”

As Jerry stopped talking, everyone gathered in the clearing became aware of how quiet the forest had become. The sun was high enough to dispel the shadows and a thousand pairs of eyes watched the scene from perch, burrow and bracken. Each pair of eyes was fearful, but it wasn’t the fear felt by prey as it ran from a predator. It was the fear from having been backed into a corner and knowing the only way out was through. A thousand pairs of eyes, blinded by the illusions subtly cast as Jerry spoke, fixed on the trio of young bugbears and as one they moved.

They say that bugbears aren’t capable of feeling fear, but as Jerry helped Darlene out of the forest and back to Wicked’s Rest, he was fairly certain that what he heard in the screams from the three young bugbears was a pretty close approximation.

#jerry_bear_solo #jerry-bear

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lavenderedhoney · 1 year

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I fucking love this bitch so much. We had a good meat coupon that we used on some wagyu ground beef and she turned it into burgers and now she's eating one and moaning like I've got 3 fingers on her g spot. I asked her if the burger was fucking her because of all the noise she's making and she said "it's making love to me." I'm going to scream I'm so in love with her!!

#text #baby 💖

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strangeauthor · 8 months

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So I’m watching a video where a guy compares wagyu ground beef burgers with regular cheap ground beef you can find at a store. In the end he thought the Wagyu beef was pretty similar to the cheaper beef.

He only noticed a difference when the Wagyu was higher in fat but less in meat

#Anonymous

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serenity-bitty · 2 years

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THIS IS A MOMENTOUS OCCASION HOLY SHIT.

Okay. As an autistic person, I have had texture issues my ENTIRE LIFE. And I have mourned for so many foods that TASTE and SMELL absolutely fantastic, but my body refused to swallow. Mourned. Grieved these foods. I can't eat mashed potatoes, I can't eat applesauce, I can't even have a French fry too thick because the texture of mashed potato happens inside the fries.

And I certainly can't eat ground meat.

That's right. Be it beef, chicken, turkey or any other meat, I cannot eat ground meat. No sloppy joes, no hamburger, cheeseburger, big Mac, whopper. NONE OF IT.

Barbeques and cookouts are a special kind of hell for me, to say the least.

And don't get me wrong, sometimes there are moments that give me a small sliver of hope.

On rare occasion, I will outgrow my issues with one type of texture.

I couldn't stand avocados until I was 25 years old. But now? I LOVE them.

After so many years, though, I had given up hoping.

But tonight.

Tonight I was blessed.

My roommate, Maddie, has a good amount of money. Not like rich, but enough to be considered stable and she has the help of her family as well. She can afford nice things.

And one of those nice things was a package of on-sale wagyu ground beef.

And if you don't know what that is, come back to this post after you've gone down a YouTube/Googling rabbit hole about it, and you will understand.

Even if it is discounted, frozen grocery store brand beef, you do NOT disrespect the fucking wagyu. Don't even risk it.

So my roommate is lying on the couch and she isn't feeling well, there's a shortage of her blood pressure medication, so she's having a bit of trouble doing things.

So she asks me to do her a favor and check if the meat she was gonna cook was defrosted yet.

I checked, it was upside down in the bowl, and it was defrosted, but when I turned the package around to see what it was (plastic was too foggy to see) I nearly screamed.

"YOU GOT FUCKING WAGYU BEEF!?!?! HOW MUCH DID THIS COST YOU?!?!"

She seemed a little sheepish for a second, and I kinda felt bad for blurting that out, so I quickly moved on to offering to help her cook it. Because I can't eat ground beef, however, I never really cooked a burger before, so she has to teach me a bit.

I helped her off the couch and we decided it would be less labor-intensive on Maddie if we broiled it in the air fryer.

So she seasoned it and got it started, splitting it up into two halves. I cut up the ingredients and put away the other half of the meat while the patty cooked and she rested in the office. She didn't even ask me to do all of those things, I just did it to help. I flipped it and double checked with her to make sure it was properly cooked.

It came out medium.

I was honestly excited to see her try it, like it is NOT every day you get to see this kind of delicacy.

I'm so broke even seeing someone eat fancy food is an event for me 🙃

(but in my defense, I was pretty fucken high when this happened.)

Anyway, so she eats it and I'm asking her how it is, give us the juicy (pun intended) DEETS.

And she is thorough in her description. And even MY mouth starts to wonder at the thought of tasting it.

And then. I had a thought.

If she lets me try a bite, I can do a bit of an experiment.

If even the texture of a WAGYU. FUCKING. BURGER. Makes me gag.

I would give up on ever enjoying the texture of a burger.

But if not, ohohoho.... I would never stop searching, never stop struggling, never stop trying to find a burger with a texture and budget I could stand.

So I start to work up the courage to ask if I could try a bite.

But she actually offered it to me before I could even get the chance!

I explained what I was thinking to her, and she was a bit interested in my little experiment.

So she hands me the burger.

It's on a bakery bun, with Mediterranean Cheddar (FANCY AS FUCK BOII), Whataburger ketchup, mustard, and some good ole Texas Pickles.

I let the smell hit my nose, and almost audibly gulped.

I took the bite.

Oh. My. God.

It was the best damn thing I'd ever eaten, let alone the first burger I could ever truly enjoy. Holy hell.

I felt like Squidward after his first Krabby Patty.

I had to break into a vault. I needed more. I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes out of both pure joy and deep despair.

I wasn't about to eat more than the one bite I was given. That would be incredibly rude and also just plain mean.

I handed it back to her, desperately hiding my urge to eat it.

I don't know if she noticed, or if she's literally just that fucking nice (and believe me she has shown me nothing but kindness) but she literally offered me the other half of the meat to make my own burger.

I could have cried.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yes, my mom gets me this kind of stuff all the time! Go ahead!"

Bruh.

Avocado, bakery bun, onions, ketchup, and that Mediterranean Cheddar.

Hooo boy. The only thing that would have made this better would be if I had toasted the bun.

Even the grease tasted good. THE. GREASE. Autistic people and grease don't exactly tend to mix!!!! And usually, I don't like too much grease. But this was amazing, an explosion of grease mingling in with the juice of the meat. And the way it interacted with the toppings and the bun.... Oh fuck.

I now understand what Gabriel Iglesias meant when he talked about food. I sounded like I was making love to that burger, and I didn't care.

I may as well have been a judge in shokugeki no soma.

It was glorious. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth. I could die happy.

Also it makes me more like Sans Undertale and that makes me happy.

#actually autistic #sans undertale #shokugeki no soma #food wars #undertale #holy shit #food #food tw #blood mention

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recentanimenews · 2 years

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FEATURE: 7 Anime-Inspired Burgers Of The Day Bob Belcher Could Add To The Menu

Bob Belcher and his family have finally made it to the big screen, and what could go better with a family-friendly movie than family-friendly food fare? If you’re not ordering a juicy burger to nosh on while watching The Bob’s Burgers Movie, you’re doing it wrong.

Bob, of course, is known for his burger of the day — a special burger with unique ingredients and a pun-based name. And so many are total hits, like the “Pepper Don’t Preach” and “Last of the Mo-Jicama.”

Naturally, this leads to the question: What if Bob based his burger of the day on different anime? Keep reading to find out, but just a warning: you may get hungry.

The Bourbon & Buu Burger - Dragon Ball Super

If there’s one thing the Belcher kids love, it’s Halloween. If there are two things, they're Halloween and fantastical stories in which heroes come in the clutch to save the world. The Bourbon & Buu Burger combines both of these things with one of anime’s biggest villains, and, well, ghosts.

It’s made of a mix of bison and ox meat stuffed with Buu cheese (bleu cheese), topped with bourbon-glazed bacon, and crunchy Piccolos (pickles). The buns are buttered and lightly toasted in a pan to add additional flavor. The finishing touch? A napkin with two eyeholes cut out, carefully draped over the top.

The Double Deku Burger - My Hero Academia

With great power (and glasses) comes great responsibility. Heroes give their whole selves to those in need. Flying through the clouds, doing helpful things or, you know, finding kitchen stuff. Why not celebrate their hard work with a super special burger? This one features not one, but two beef patties with lettuce, tomatoes, red onions and Bob’s house-made Kacchan Ketchup!

Served with an icy cold beverage and hot fries, what a refreshing clash! This burger is so good y’all might have to go back for more. Maybe Bob can even get his own personal hero, Torpedo Jones, to say he likes it!

RELATED: Cooking With Anime - Giant Burger And Fries From "ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept."

The Turkey Club Sandwich - Ouran High School Host Club

Listen, if Bob Belcher were ever going to make a burger that didn’t include some kind of red meat, it would be turkey. The man loves his Thanksgiving dinners, so pass the cranberry sauce, we’re havin’ mashed potatoes!

This one features a fried turkey breast with lettuce, a delicate tomato bacon jam, ranch dressing, and toasted bread cut into four with no crusts. And don’t worry, the turkey can easily be swapped out for chicken every other day of the year. The perfect burger for a smart, and strong woman who’s definitely old enough to sit at the adults’ table.

The Spicy Dattemayo Burger - Naruto/BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS

Leftover from Bob’s foray into the food truck industry, this delightfully weird concoction starts with a 6oz wagyu (Hokwagyu? Is that anything?) patty stuffed with habanero pimento cheese and chopped up naruto. This is topped with spicy mustard aioli, crispy kale, and two Ichiraku ramen buns. Is it a little strange? Sure. Too spicy? Maybe. But is it good? You better BELIEVE IT!

RELATED: Does Boruto Eat More Burgers Than Naruto Eats Ramen?

The Meatball Head - Sailor Moon

Image via Toei Animation

Don’t ever say Bob is a one-note chef. He can take a simple bowl of ground meat and transform it into anything, whether it be a patty or a … ball. This burger comes with a large meatball made with a blend of beef and pork, glazed in a teriyaki sauce, topped with wilted bok choy, and crystallized ginger on a sesame seed bun.

Not only is Bob versatile, but this sandwich is also. It can be served anywhere from a school cafeteria to a formal event. Tuxedo mask optional.

The Blue-Finned Elephant Tunami Burger - One Piece

No way would Bob even allow tuna to be served in his restaurant! This burger features a sea salt and pink peppercorn crusted tuna patty topped with a chutney of grilled devil fruits, one piece of cheese, and sprinkles of gold leaf. But you’ll have to be quick — this limited-edition burger is only available until Bob finds his way out of the wall.

It’d be great to pack along for a ride in Teddy’s boat. Just a regular boat ride, not a murderous one. Results may vary from consuming devil fruits.

RELATED: This Surprising Technique Can Help You Achieve The Perfect WdDonald's Burger

Don’t Burn The ‘Wich - BURN THE WITCH

Can vegan food be good? Witch, Please! This vegan burger is so good, that you’ll think it was magic enough to take on a powerful witch like Mr. Ambrose. It’s a black bean patty blended with mushrooms and carrots. It is then topped with caramelized onions, sunflower seeds for crunch, and dragonfruit ketchup.

What would possess Bob to serve vegan burgers? Especially after the debacle that was sweet potato fries? Maybe he’s just looking out for his not-friend Teddy’s heart. Aww.

Does this menu of anime-pun-based burgers have you starving? Which one will you be ordering up? Let us know in the comments below!

By: Yali Perez

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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holatexasus · 28 days

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Dallas Dining Delights: Exploring Iconic Restaurants in Dallas

Dallas has an almost glorified reputation as a city not only in Texas known for its food scene but also as its diverse sports teams like the Cowboys, Mavericks, and Stars. From delicious Indian barbecue to connoisseur of Mexican food favorites, Dallas has many irresistible restaurants that will definitely leave your tongue wanting more. The article is about to identify some of the most popular Dallas restaurants in Dallas where you can find not only both tourists as well as residents of this city but also loads of good food.

Barbecue: A Taste of Texas

Texas is known across America for mouthwatering barbecue, and restaurants in Dallas serving up smoky brisket, fall-off-the-bone ribs, and more. Many of the most popular barbecue joints have been around for decades, gaining fame through word-of-mouth over tender, juicy meats. From old-fashioned, hole-in-the-wall spots to newer, hip restaurants, barbecue has a strong standing across Dallas neighborhoods. Visitors making a barbecue pilgrimage won’t want to miss out on staples like pecan pie to finish a meal dripping in savory sauces.

Tex-Mex Favorites

You can’t talk about Texan cuisine without mentioning Tex-Mex. Dallas offers plenty of casual Tex-Mex restaurants serving up classics like tacos, enchiladas, fajitas and more with a touch of the Southwest. Crispy tacos filled with spiced ground beef, chicken or succulent barbacoa paired with a frosty margarita is one of the treats in Dallas. Many local favorite Tex-Mex spots have been family-owned for generations, passing down recipes and traditions to keep diners happy. Be sure to save room for some warm, just-fried chips and queso or a hearty bowl of chili con carne.

Where Sports Fans Gather

Sports culture is huge in Dallas, so it’s no surprise that many iconic restaurants also double as sports bars and pubs. Televisions lining the walls make these eateries popular places for fans to gather over wings, pizza and beer to cheer on the Cowboys, Mavericks, Stars or Rangers. Some old-school spots maintain an old-world pub vibe while newer hot spots have a modern, lively energy fueled by crowds reacting to big plays and wins.

From traditional Irish pub fare like shepherd’s pie and fish and chips to classic bar food like juicy burgers and loaded nachos, sports bars allow fans to fuel up without missing a moment of the action. Many have expanded outdoor patios and an energetic atmosphere after big victories.

Southern Comfort Food

In a blend of Deep South influence and Texan flair, Dallas comfort food brings diners generous portions of cuisine that feels like home. From chicken fried steak smothered in peppery gravy to fluffy biscuits and giant cinnamon rolls, comfort food eateries in Dallas serve up hearty cuisine, often with a helping of southern hospitality on the side. Chicken and waffles, catfish, collard greens, cornbread and other soul food staples also populate menus at spots across the city.

For those with a sweet tooth, banana pudding, pecan pie, peach cobbler and hummingbird cake are just some of the decadent southern desserts that top off a meal.

Fine Dining & Upscale Eats

Dallas also shines when it comes to elegant, fine dining featuring steakhouses, seafood eateries, five-star restaurants and more upscale cuisine. Splurging on Wagyu beef, fresh sushi and seafood towers or enjoying a special occasion meal at a celebrity chef’s hot new outpost pairs nicely with views of the glittering Dallas skyline.

The famous steakhouse scene offers premium cuts of beef and old-fashioned tableside service amid clubby, masculine interiors. Lobster bisque in bread bowls, crabcakes with spicy aioli and creme brûlée provide a taste of luxury that keeps Dallas high on lists of American foodie destinations.

Whether you’re looking for barbecue, Tex-Mex flavors, bar atmosphere for sports in Dallas, southern comfort foods or five-star elegant dining, Dallas delivers iconic restaurants to satisfy any craving. From old soul spots to new hot spots, chow down on local specialties and regional cuisine that makes Dallas a tasty Texas destination for food lovers. With such a strong sports culture and vibrant dining scene, Dallas brings people together through mouthwatering meals to savor for memories long after the plates are clean.

#Restaurants in Dallas #Sports in Dallas #Treats in Dallas

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