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homeofjonicles · 2 years

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The Jonicles - Entry 4

Note: This is the fourth entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in May of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the fourth entry of The Jonicles! (i promise this note will disappear soon)

It is (still*) currently the 27th of May, 2022. It is 3:20 pm on a Friday and I have returned from school, and it is still day #9 of my Jon Arbuckle fixation. The day of reckoning is close, my friends.

This entry is special, and compared to the last one, this entry is a lot more lighthearted. This entry is, first of all, the (*)second entry for today, as the previous was Entry 3.5. I usually wouldn't do this if it weren't for the fact that I had some very important news to share.

This is where my second point comes in. Yesterday, on May 26th, I bought the original Garfield Kart on Steam for exactly 82¢ $AU at around 7-ish (Steam didn't save the exact time). I saw in a comment on the track "Sneak-A-Peak" from Garfield Kart (the best song) that mentioned the soundtrack having a good rating on Steam, which prompted me to exclaim "wait wHAT ITS ON STEAM????". I frantically looked up the game's store page and lo and behold, there it was, shining with its bright orange tinge as Garfield's happy little face beamed at me contently. I was in utter disbelief, but upon noticing Jon Arbuckle's happy, excited smile as he drove in the game's cover art, I instantly knew I was sold. I had to get my hands on this. The game was on sale (80% off to be exact), and upon seeing the hilariously low price of 82¢, I immediately bought the game and installed it, excited for the experience of finally committing vehicular manslaughter as Jon "Quincy" Arbuckle.

Upon opening the launcher, I decided to just play the game as is without changing any keybinds or graphics properties, leaving them on "High". I started up the game and was immediately blessed with the image of Garfield cruising around on said kart, looking at me with those beady, sarcastic eyes of his as a city spun around behind him. Then, it transitioned to the title screen, aaand...

The background was black, for some odd reason. In fact, all the backgrounds were like this, including the game itself, and I was thus unable to see what I was doing, so I restarted the game and went to configure the keybinds and graphics options. Keeping the graphics on "High" turned out to be a mistake, so I set them on "Medium" and configured the arrow keybinds to the titular WASD keys I'm used to. Then, I relaunched the game, and was truly blessed with Garfield Kart's immaculate beauty.

The sight of a colourful, cartoony neighbourhood blessed my eyes, and the equally pleasing music also blessed my ears. The music was nice, as Garfield Kart is known for having a surprisingly great soundtrack, but it was odd as it was slightly compressed like it was playing from a New 3DS, and sounded strangely like it could have come from a mix of The Sims and Simpsons Hit And Run. Calming yet goofy. Just like Jon. I like it.

I chose the tutorial stage as I wanted to get a gauge at learning to drive in this game. I had to restart the game multiple as it strangely did not save my keybinds, noting that it should have a keybind profile to quickly switch to, but I evetually got it working right. Like a child on Christmas Morning, I hurriedly started the tutorial race, being guided by a random spider (who acted as this game's answer to Lakitu from Mario Kart) and felt the joy of finally being able to cruise around in Garfield's hometown. Granted, I couldn't choose to play as Jon, but I did spot him near one of the houses and happily approached him, only to be met with the slightly terrifying realisation that he had absolutely no animations or collision as Garfield phased right through him. Additionally, he also had a vacant, blank stare upon his handsome polgonal face. From this, we can assure that this Jon is not the real Jon, but simply a fake decoy to give Garfield the illusion that all his friends and family are cheering him on. Horrifying.

The game started to have it's admittedly funny problems when I approached some wrapped lollies and boost pads. The game began to lag, and as someone with an idiotic sense of humour, I joked and laughed about how the game couldn't handle all these high quality models on the screen at once. Additionally, I was terrible at driving, particularly at drifting, which also contributed to the funnies.

Finally, I got my masters degree in eating lasagna and driving like a drunkard on a late Friday night, and I was finally ready for the Reel Deel™. I went into a race, immediately chose Jon Arbuckle as my main, chose a stupid car and chose the highest speed I could (I like my racing games FAST AS FUCK), which was 150cc. It's not 200cc like I expected, but it would have to do and I accepted it. (Additional note: Jon's description calls him clumsy and not very clever, which first of all, is rude, and second of all, made me think about how cartoony and goofy Jon is in modern comics and media, and I really quite miss seeing his more balanced serious side.)

I let out a burst of laughter upon seeing Jon's content "no thoughts, head empty" smile he seems to always have on his face and seeing him revving up for the race. God, Jon is so fucking adorable, just look at him preparing for the big race... A-Anyway, my experience was quite similar to the tutorial level, just with the added joy of playing as Jon Arbuckle. Of course, not being a very good driver, I kept crashing into things, still not getting the hang of drifting and whatnot. But it was fun, I enjoyed seeing inertia take its toll on Jon and probably causing some form of minor concussion from how violently he was being thrown around in that kart. I like how sometimes when he equips an item he ends up consistantly saying the same line twice every time he says it, say for one exception when he was interrupted by my poor driving. Heck, I clipped right through a garbage can at one point. It was fun. The only bad thing was that when I inevitably came last, Jon expressed feelings of sadness, disappointment and failure, looking glum and shaking his head solenmly. I can personally relate to those deep and crushing feelings of not being good enough to amount to anything, even something as simple as a kart race. And I just want to say, Jon, please don't be so hard on yourself. You are still a valued and loved person, even if you came last, that does not determine your worth and just how much you mean to so many people. And you may fail and fail again, and some people may laugh, but if there's one thing to remember, it's that at least I will never look down on you for your failures and low moments. And you can trust me on that. You may have come last in the race, but that doesn't mean you come last in life. I love and care about you, Jon, and I once again welcome you with open arms into my splattered mess of a memory organ I call my own brain. Enjoy your stay, buddy.

Last edited at 9:23 pm. No it did not take me 6 hours to write this, I just took a very long break and kinda forgot I was writing this.

Not much to say here other than the PC port of Garfield Kart slaps, except for when it keeps resetting the controls, and that this purchase of Garfield Kart would eventually forshadow my unending hatred for Squeak. I may write an entry about that later.

Also I really like the bit where I mention the Jon decal with no collision. I literally when "Hi Jon!" when I saw him and immediately became terrified when I drove inside him. It's like those horror movie scenes where a character sees their friend from the distance and is so happy to see them and they turn them around only to realise that their friend has been horrifically murdered and they start screaming and crying

And yeah, "lollies" is what we call candy here in Australia. No NO not THAT type of lollies. I mean the type of lollies you find in the confectionary section of Coles. Those ones.

This is probably one of my favourite entries, apart from the "Turnip Jon" one. Oh my gosh, you're gonna love the Turnip Jon entry.

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 19th of July, 2022 at 7:00 am

#jonicles 4 #ughghdgh gafiled kart #vroom vroom weeee #god garfield kart is such a weird concept for a video game #also 82 CENTS WHAT A STEEEAAAL #jon arbuckle commits vehicular manslaughter

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aka-indulgence · 2 years

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Smol pause, gonna be traveling and I think I'm gonna get motion sick nsjdnf

#vroom #weeee #life update

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moonlightchn · 2 years

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#admin talker #SCREE #CHHH #WEEEEEEEEEE #BIDI BIP BOOP #MEEP #HONK HONK #VROOM VROOM #WEEEE WOOOOO WEEE WOOOO WEEEEE WEEEEEE #WEWEWEWEWE #TI NI NI NI #TU NU NUUU NUNUUUU #MEEEEEEEH #MOOOOO #OINK OINK #UH UH AH AH

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flower-zombie-rob · 2 years

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Small markiplier

Put him in a shopping cart

Push the cart and watch him go

WEEEE!

Put him in a race car bed

Push the race car bed, Vroom vroom

YEAH!!!!

Sorry am not funny today

...

Put him in a tyre

Woosh

#markiplier

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lunar-writings-love · 4 years

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College!AU - Yunho (ateez)

Trying to be more consistent with uploading these!! I’ll try to finish up the series throughout this week!

Author’s Note: Bullet pic :DD

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! PLEASE REQUEST ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR ANY GROUP YOU PREFER!! I’ll be finishing this series soon and I want to get started on some new material! I’m thinking about starting perhaps a college!au for a.c.e! let me know what you guys think

warnings: y’all I REALLY tried to make this one as soft as possible, but alas there’s some sexy times ahead, nothing graphic, just some dancing // one cuss word // drinking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yunho:

bABiE BOY

okAy so our (sin)amon roll here is a dance major because ,, well that’s pretty self explanatory

and i honestly couldn’t see him doing anything else

but yunho was pretty well known within the department and the university, because he was 1)

extremely good at dancing and anyone who ever saw him ever would just stand there, mesmerized at the things he could do; and 2)

he was literally at every dance event he ended up getting to know a lot of people; and 3)

hot

and you ,, you were NOT a dance major , nor could you even begin to replicate those moves with your body

but you were part of the university’s student-run paper, and in charge of the arts column in said paper

that being said

you were also one of those people, along with yunho, who showed up to every. dance. event. :))))))))

iT was your ObLigaTioN To the paper to do your best in reporting these events, but ---

to be honest, you only joined the paper with the hopes of writing the political columns, but instead,, well at least you understood that everyone starts somewhere

soo long story short, you knew yunho pretty well

you asked him for statements a couple of times, and even treated him out to coffee once in order to interview him for your paper’s issue on “stUdENt ceLebRITY” :DDD

you wanted to die

but, despite your obvious realization that reporting on college performances had nothing to do with any of the investigative and educational work you thought you’d be able to achieve working for the paper ,,,

you really liked yunho

he was always so polite to you and always greeted you

,, and his smile

hIs babiE BoY SMILE ,, it could light up an entire world

now , you wouldn’t call this feeling you have a crush, but you do admit that you have a ,, deep admiration for yunho

and tHE THINgs He DID to you wHEn hE WasDANCING weeee

,, anyways

you knew it would never go farther than the friendship you two had now because ,,;

this man was THE jeong yunho --- the kind, polite, caring, and drop dead gorgeous dance major that you had 100% certainty was going to take over the world with his talent on day ,,

and you ,,,

well you were just the moody and nerdy student journalist, who lived, breathed, and slept coffee--staying up all night in order to make deadlines

,,,,,,,

little did you know though,,

that yunho, was head over heels in love with you

in fact, it was an inside joke within the dance department

because IT.WAS.SO.OBVIOUS

whenever you walked over, yunho would literally drop everything he was doing at the moment and give you his full attention

he would NOT stop sneaking glances at you whenever you came to his shows

and he thought you were the most adorable thing he had ever seen,

with your old-style glasses, and messy hair, and those bangs that you gave yourself the day before your midterm at two in the morning because SteSS

he loved all of it

but you ,, you never noticed any of this because you’re,, dumb oblivious

but he,, always noticed these things about you, and he cared so much about you he just ,, didn’t know what to do

so he went to mingi for advice BAD IDEA

and mingi knew all about you at this point, and he was getting tired of hearing about you so he and yunho developed what he believed to be a fool-proof plan!!! to get you two together

and yunho like the idiot he is ,,, listened

and that’s how you both ended up here, both drunk out of your minds at the water-polo team’s party dancing sIIINning!!1! to the loud music

yunho mingi sent you a text earlier that night asking if you’d be at the party

and you unfortunately said yes because your room-mate basically coerced you to go

and when she heard Yunho was gonna be there

bOy did she make you go

and made sure you looked HOT AS HELL TOO (she’s doing God’s work that one)

and then when you saw yunho and mingi at the party, one thing led to another or more like one drink led to another and there you guys were ,,,

sinning

luckily your room-mate pulled you away at some point to go back to the dorms, and when you woke up next morning hahahah

you replayed last night’s events over and over in your head

and you wanted to smack end yourself

dID you really dance grind with yunho ??!?

the nice, well-mannered, SOFT!!tm boy ??!?

and let me tell you y’all’s actions last night were not nice, well-mannered, OR soft

you didn’t know how you’d face him

because you realized at this point that you had a big, fat crush on jeong yunho

so you put it through your head that you’d just ,, never see yunho again

because GOD FORBID YOU ACT LIKE A REASONABLE ADULT !!

and so you did

you managed a whole two weeks without contacting, seeing, or meeting yunho

and yunho at this point, was getting desperate poor bby

he reeeeallly liked you and he couldn’t help but feel that he may have fucked up that night

so when he saw you walking into a coffee shop off campus one day as was passing by, he once again dropped everything to go see you

he waited patiently until you finished paying ,

ran up to you ,,

grabbed your arm ,,

and basically accidentally screamed in your face that he liked you and was sorry for that night

and you ----;-

were SO shook

and even though your mind was going at 100 miles per hour VrooM you managed to squeeze out that you liked him too

and so that day you guys officially had your first date !

desPITE the way things played out, both of you guys were major soft bbies and your relationship reflected that

dates consisted of amusement park days, and taking romantic walks through parks and lakes

lots of cuddles! and lots!of!hugs!

and you no longer dreaded attending those dance performances, because now you spent your time cheering on yunho, screaming as loud as possible and smothering him with your affection after he finished

you guys were just too cute

and mingi to this day credits your relationship to his fool!proof!plan!tm ,, which both of you deny vehemently

and your room-mates credits herself for the way things played out because she a) made you look so good that night and b) actually forced you to go

but those two are a different story smh

so yeah! you and yunho were just so cute

and you couldn’t be happier than this, spending days at the dance studio as he tried teaching you what he loved so much

but to no avail, you just ,, couldn’t dance but that’s okay yunho still loves u :pp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways guys, I hope you enjoyed this one! I actually loved writing yunho’s college au sooo much and i hope you guys like this one as much as I dO! Requests are open so please send in anything y’all want! love uuuu <333

- Luna

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spread-the-nerd · 4 years

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Have you ever LAUGHED while doing cardio?! 🤪🤪⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Because you will TRULY enjoy yourself doing this fun & silly #HarleyQuinn inspired Cardio Workout 😅😅 ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Happy #FandomFriday y’all! The #BirdsofPrey release inspired me to drop an INSANE Harley Quinn workout that I CAN’T wait for you to try! ⁣⁣ SAVE THIS POST to find it easily when you’re ready.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Here is a breakdown of the moves: ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 1. Carefree Kicks! Dance around as care free as can be, just like ya girl Harley! Flexed foot kicks while twirling in a circle ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 2. Bat Swing, Criss Cross: take a batters stance, swing the “bat” then criss cross hop the legs quickly. (Make sure to alternate sides for each round of this move)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 3. Skaters, Weeee! ⛸⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 4. Shuffle Shoot: lateral shuffle into a lunge twist w/arms like you’re shooting a gun 🔫 FREEZE, CLOWN! ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 5 . Harley Hop w/ Mallet Drop: heisman jump with a balanced hinge forward from the hips like you’re hitting the ground with a mallet. Your back leg stays lifted for core work/balance.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Do each move for 30 secs followed by a 30 second rest. Complete the set 4x to rev up your inner Harley Quinn! Vroom, vroom! Let’s get started! 🃏⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ .⁣⁣ #NerdyWorkout #Cardioishardio #HarleyQuinn #HarleyQuinnWorkout #HarleyQuinnInspiredWorkout #fitnessisfun #funfitness #traininsane #puddin #geekyworkout #nerdyfitness #geekyfitness #fitgeekychick #geekoutwhileyouworkout #gymforgeeks #nerdgym #strongnerd #strongher #geeknasium https://www.instagram.com/p/B8RPrVMjnjo/?igshid=1b53jzh2jti9v

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