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missmonsters2 · 8 months

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Mirror, Mirror | One

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: The thought of something more had never really crossed Wanda's mind when it came to you. Best friends for 10 years and there hasn't even been one instance of accidental sexual tension. You're her best friend, that's all—until someone points out that you obviously have a very specific type when it comes to dating.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: i'm back!!! Nothing like coming back and posting a mini series. Enjoy this superior trope. Updates will be on Tuesdays! As you can see, we're trying something new with explicit content lol 😬

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~4.1k

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It's strange how sometimes a single sentence can change someone's entire life.

Wanda's thought about what sentences could change her life—usually, they're morbid and depressing.

'You have cancer.'

'Someone you love has died horrifically in an accident.'

'Your cat actually finds living with you miserable and would prefer the dangers of living in the streets.'

Never in a million years would Wanda ever think it'd be, 'Hey, have you ever noticed how your best friend exclusively only dates girls who look like you?'

And don't get Wanda wrong. It wasn't a morbid or depressing change; it was just...a change. An irrevocable change because now, Wanda couldn't stop thinking about it or noticing it.

This was all Steve's fault.

Because if someone like Stupid Steve could notice something like that, it had to mean something, right? But as Wanda remembers about the past girls you've hooked up with and brought around, she doesn't know what to make of it.

A part of Wanda wishes she had never talked to Steve that night at the bar.

"Where's Vis?" Steve asked, looking around.

"With Tony playing pool, I think," Wanda shrugged. She doesn't particularly keep track of where her on-and-off boyfriend goes. She thinks they might be on an off-period right now, anyway.

"And where's—oh, nevermind, there she is," Steve started to say but cut off when they both saw you across the bar talking with the bartender, flirting over drinks—which were probably free if Wanda could guess.

Wanda's slightly annoyed because it's been a long week without seeing you, and Wanda's been used to seeing you almost every day for the past several years of her life. But you've been gone on a work trip this week for a wedding shoot and only came home just a little after lunch and needed an immediate long nap before tonight's get-together.

That meant Wanda was sorely missing out on best-friend time, and now you were off flirting shamelessly with the hot bartender. Wanda's rooting for you, make no mistake. The bartender is definitely easy on the eyes, luscious hair, and lips—something Wanda knows you're weak for.

Plus, Wanda's worried you're not anywhere near getting close to settling down. She wants you to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. But she supposes she's in no position to talk herself.

Wanda loves Vision without a doubt, but their relationship is definitely chaotic, and Vision keeps pushing for something more serious now that they've been dating (sporadically) for a long time. She's been considering it in her downtime and thinks it might make sense as the next step.

Best friends do everything together, right? So, maybe if Wanda decided to take the next step in a serious relationship, you'd find someone to commit to seriously as well.

Then, both of you could get married at the same time. Then, they could buy a house in the same neighborhood right next to each other. There'd be endless double dates and vacations together. Wanda wouldn't have to miss you.

But first, Wanda needed to regain lost best-friend time, one-on-one style.

"Hey, you know what I just noticed?" Steve said, breaking Wanda's drifting thoughts.

"What?"

"Bug—"

Wanda makes a face at your nickname. Granted, it was Wanda's fault you ended up with it back in your first year of university. You never let her forget it, especially now that you're a professional photographer.

"—over there has a very specific type she goes after for girls," Steve mused, sipping his whiskey before continuing. "I mean, they always have green eyes and brunette—wait, that's not true. She had two red-headed girlfriends in our last year of university. They still had green eyes, though."

"Oh," Wanda said, unsure what to say since she's never paid attention to the girls you were dating. On average, they were a brief fling, and only a few lasted longer than half a year. "I guess so?"

Wanda distantly thinks about how she dyed her hair auburn in her last year of university because she was looking for a change that year and Natasha was insistent that she'd look amazing. Wanda recalls you were a fan of the look.

"Yeah," Steve nodded along. "Ironically, they always look like you in some way. Check out that bartender now—long, wavy-haired brunette with green eyes. She's got thick, long lips and even does that dark eye-shadow makeup thingy like you."

Steve just laughed it off, finishing his drink, thinking nothing more of it before he started talking about Bucky.

But it was like something clicked into place in Wanda's brain. A daunting realization that she was wholly unprepared for and not equipped to do anything about.

Wanda watched as the bartender clocked off for the night and dragged you into a corner booth, drinks in hand. It gave Wanda the perfect view that the bartender wore many rings just like she did.

In the poor privacy of the dimly lit corner booth, there was a staunch and needy kiss from the two of you, and Wanda swallowed roughly.

From here, if you were none the wiser, Wanda could be easily mistaken for the girl in the booth with you.

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Sometimes, Wanda believes she's just being absolutely ridiculous. So what if you go after girls who share the same features as her? That didn't have to mean anything. You've always told Wanda she was beautiful, and it was perfect how you said it.

It didn't feel insincere or creepy. It felt good to know her best friend thought she was absolutely gorgeous. But just because you thought she was beautiful doesn't mean you harbored secret feelings for her.

You'd be insulted if you knew Wanda had ever thought that. She'd just be another one of those girls Wanda's seen you humble on multiple occasions when they found out you dated women, and they were worried you might have a crush on them.

But then, Wanda couldn't stop thinking she actually might be one of those girls because then she'd think about if you didn't consider her like that, it wasn't about her looks but something about her personality that wasn't your type.

And what could that be?

Wanda thought long and hard, trying to remember the girls you've introduced her to.

Sometimes they were funny, and Wanda was funny. She made you laugh all the time. She specifically remembered one time in high school when she made you laugh so hard you peed your pants just a little.

Sometimes they were intellectual, and while Wanda didn't have an IQ of 160, she did fairly well academically and was on the right track in her career.

Sometimes they were charming, and Wanda was the type where she got more charming the more you got to know her.

So, Wanda just doesn't understand. She's nowhere further with her thinking ever since this weird information has been bestowed upon her.

Maybe it all just means nothing. You just didn't feel that way about Wanda despite the type of girls you dated suggesting otherwise. You didn't need a reason for it, and maybe the fact you only felt friendship for her was the reason.

"Wanna order pizza in tonight?"

Wanda turns her head from the tv and notices you've put your book down. "Hm, not really. We had pizza last week," Wanda shakes her head.

"How about that Greek place that just opened up on Willington Ave?" You suggest. "Pretty sure I heard you grumbling about wanting Greek food earlier this week."

"I was not grumbling!" Wanda scoffs but smiles when you raise your eyebrow at her. "Okay, I was grumbling a little."

You snicker as you pull out your phone to order delivery. "Oh, sweet golden best friend of mine, whatever shall you do when you get married to Vis, who hates Greek food. Do I foresee a life of Greekless cuisine? Oh, the suffering you'll go through!"

"I don't need him to like it," Wanda slaps your arm, sticking her tongue out before she cuddles you. "I have you to eat it with."

You laugh unabashedly, a sound that Wanda's accustomed to hearing the joyful sound. "Better hope the person I marry also hates Greek cuisine. I don't know if I can live a life of eating double the Greek food. I love tzatziki sauce, but if I grow to hate it from eating it too much, I will make you suffer the consequences of that."

Your voice trails off as you focus on ordering food, unable to see the cogs in Wanda's head turning.

It's all so easy. There's no tension, no electric vibes happening. Just best friends enjoying the banter and making plans to eat.

It was all in Wanda's head, right? You're her best friend, so of course you'd know everything about her.

The right type of friendship is fulfilling and soul-connecting, and that's what Wanda has with you. When you have a one-in-a-million connection like that, the line between friendship and romance is thin, isn't it?

Wanda hates Steve. She'd never think about this if it wasn't for Stupid Steve. She can hear his dumb laugh, blissfully ignorant about the observation bomb he dropped upon her.

"Do you wanna get ice cream after?" You ask, throwing your phone to the side. "I'll even treat you to the gelato despite knowing I'm going to suffer through your crazy farts later."

"Oh my god, I'm going to trap you under the blanket with it just for that!"

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Within two months, Wanda forgets about it. Forgets, as in that she decides to drop it (let it linger in the deep depths of her brain that she refuses to acknowledge), and resolves that Steve has no brain cells and has no idea what he's saying.

"Have you seen my strapless black top?" Wanda shouts from her room with the door open. "The one with the v-shaped front!"

"In your closet!" You yelled back from the living room, not taking your eyes off your phone.

"I can't find it," Wanda whines, and she hears you sigh as you get up. The footsteps approach her room, and she finds you standing at the door with an unimpressed look.

"I don't want to hear it," Wanda sniffs.

"Hear what, brat?" You say with a brow raised before you start rummaging through her closet. The nickname was a joke you started that Wanda was entirely a spoiled person, exhibiting bratty behavior at times. "That I'm not gonna be your roommate forever, so you need to learn to fold it yourself before putting it away?"

Wanda makes grumbling noises that are mostly nonsensical but smiles when you pull out the top she was looking for.

"You are the apple of my eye, stinky," Wanda grabs the top from you before she runs into her washroom to briefly change into it.

"A match made in heaven, yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes with good humor. "Hurry up, Natasha will kill us if we're late for Yelena's birthday. They're on an upwards mend in their relationship, so she's been so unbearably uptight lately to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"I know, I know," Wanda mutters, carefully pulling the top over her head to not ruin her makeup.

"Alright, I'll hail us a cab, meet me outside."

"Wait, wait!" Wanda calls out. "I need help putting on my necklace."

You chuckle, walking back just as Wanda steps out of the bathroom with the delicate necklace she wants to wear.

"Alright, alright, relax," you tell her. "Your accent gets really strong when you're stressed."

"You're stressing me out by rushing me," Wanda scrunches her nose even though you can't see it. "I'm also stressed knowing that you have to rush me, or I'll spend the party getting lectured by Natasha."

Wanda's voice comes out husked with the accent, something she's struggled between hating or loving, but mostly loving since you've expressed how lovely it is.

You grab the necklace from her hand, and Wanda moves her hair out of the way. The routine of it all starts to bleed the tension out of her shoulders.

Then, that horrible Stupid Steve Sentence kicks into her brain.

It's only as you put your arms over, placing the necklace against Wanda's chest, and focusing on trying to get the clasp in. Wanda can feel your warm breath against her neck, summoning goosebumps along her arms. You're so close, and she can feel the heat of your body radiating onto her, your fingers just barely brushing against her.

The tension comes suddenly, squeezing inside her chest as her breathing slows and shakes. Her body warms in an unexpected way.

"Ah, got it," you say, but Wanda can only focus on your voice and breath on the shell of her ear. "Cute necklace but the clasp is so annoying."

You pull away and start walking off. "C'mon, I bet if we tip our taxi driver an extra $20 bucks, they'll speed and we can pray we're on time."

Wanda's left standing there, knowing she probably sounds like she's fresh out of Sokovia with how stressed she is. Her right eye twitches.

Was that...Wanda gulps. Was that sexual tension?

And was she the only one who felt it?

Fuck.

She's going to kill Steve.

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Natasha's absolutely neurotic when they arrive. It's just a simple backyard party, but it almost looks like a wedding venue with all the catering and flowers.

Wanda's pretty sure Natasha's only being like this because she's overthinking about whether to cling to Yelena or give her sister some space to mingle with others. She seems to be sizing up Kate, who Yelena might be seeing, but it hasn't been confirmed.

Yelena looks between exasperated with Natasha and secretly happy about the entire thing. Wanda can sympathize with her. After all, she's also a little sister, and Pietro can also be way too overprotective. Sometimes she's glad he's abroad in Europe for work while she remains in New York, but she misses him more often than she admits.

"Alright, alright, Natasha," you groan, and Wanda's mind slips back into the conversation. "We're 3 minutes late, relax, will you? Damn, are you always gonna be like this until you and Yelena get back into whatever sibling bond you had before? Hope you're just like this with us because otherwise, you're gonna scare away all her friends, and she's going to hate you."

"Oh my god, do you think she'll really hate me?" Natasha bites her bottom lip in worry while looking around at all the people that they can only assume she's nagged about being late or whatever mishap.

"Oh, man," you sigh, putting your hand on her shoulders before pushing her towards the bar. "You need some drinks and maybe some desserts in you."

Wanda's about to follow you when you turn around and nod your head in a different direction. She looks over and sees you're nodding toward Vision.

"You should go say hi to him," you tell her. "You've been complaining about not seeing him all last week, even though I don't know why you guys won't just FaceTime, but I digress. Come find me later, or I'll find you after."

You look over at Natasha, who's peering on her tippy toes to see if she can find Yelena.

"And, hopefully, I'll have ditched this nutjob," you whisper conspiratorially and laugh when Natasha turns around to smack your arm.

"I heard that!"

Wanda chuckles as you walk off with Natasha while she turns and heads toward Vision. Despite how she was complaining about not seeing Vision last week because she did miss him, her expression was sour as she made her way toward him.

Vision spots her immediately and waves at her with a warm smile. Wanda feels herself somewhat loosened at his expression. They'd also been friends a long time before they started on-and-off dating, so at the very least, she does miss his easy friendship.

"Hey," Vision hugs her, slightly rubbing her back before he pulls away but keeps his arm around her. "It's been a while; you look lovely."

"Thanks," Wanda smiles with a shrug. She looks around and sees he's standing with Tony and Pepper. "How are you guys?"

"Could be better," Tony sighs dramatically. "Natasha won't let me do any of my cool party tricks as if I'm going to ruin her little sister's party. If anything, I could make it the party of the century!"

Pepper rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "We were just talking about how we're thinking of going to the Bahamas for vacation in December and escaping the cold. We've invited you and Vision along since it's been awhile since we've all gone together. Of course, we can also invite Bug and Natasha."

"Oh," Wanda says for a lack of anything else to say. She doesn't know how to feel about it, but she peers over at Vision, who's just smiling at her and looking eager about it.

"I need another drink if I'm going to suffer through this party," Tony sighs. "Maybe I can convince Yelena instead!" He grins, dragging Pepper along, and they walk off together.

"So, what do you think?" Vision asks when they're alone. "I didn't want to reply on your behalf since I wasn't sure, but I think it'd be good for us. I've missed you," Vision pauses as if he's about his next words but then says, "a lot."

"Yeah, me too," Wanda starts to say, but then her brain gets all haywire because it feels like a lie. She did miss him, but did she miss him a lot? "I think."

"You think?"

Wanda wants to smack her forehead because she didn't mean to say that out loud. "I mean, I was complaining a lot that I haven't seen you in a while all last week."

"Yeah, work has just been overwhelming. I get so tired after work, I just can't keep up with the texting or calls."

But you can, Wanda thinks. Granted, you're her roommate, so it's easier. But even when you have to go on work trips, you regularly text her no matter what time and squeeze in a quick call, even if it's just to say goodnight.

The entire thing makes Wanda bite her tongue because why was she even thinking about that? That was completely irrelevant to Vision.

Then—because as if just thinking about you wasn't enough—her eyes trail across the room, and the scene before her makes Wanda even more confused about her feelings.

You're standing there with Natasha at the bar, but it looks like Natasha's calling someone over to introduce you to them.

Another brunette with long, wavy hair, like she just had a blowout done. Wanda's not 100% sure from this distance, but she has an inkling that the brunette also has green eyes. She's wearing a white halter top and wide-legged sage green pants. She wears a lot of rings, but her makeup is lighter and more summery compared to Wanda's darker, smokey eye makeup.

In short, this woman was the clean girl aesthetic version of Wanda.

And you look interested.

This was ridiculous, Wanda fumes, feeling her stomach sink and cheeks flare hot in anger. As quick as the anger came, it dissipated.

Why was she so angry?

She feels betrayed, and her thoughts are turning very ugly. Wanda is definitely not being a girl's girl right now with how much she's thinking she's better than the girl in front of you.

But that just makes everything so much more confusing.

"Wanda?"

Wanda turns her head back to Vision. He looks concerned, and even when his eyes trail toward what Wanda's staring at, there's no additional reaction. He's not upset that she's staring at you, and that has to mean something, right?

It must mean there was never a concern about how Wanda might've felt about you. Sure, there were a few things Wanda couldn't be without, and you were one of them, but nobody can't be without their best friend.

No one had ever blinked twice about you and Wanda.

Except now.

And that person was Wanda herself.

The more Wanda thought about the entire thing, the more she became curious. The idea of you dating people who looked like Wanda was intriguing. She wanted to ask questions but didn't know what to ask.

It might mean nothing, but it also might mean something.

And if it does mean something, Wanda wants to know what exactly it is.

Therefore, Wanda needs nothing in her way to find out the truth and exactly what she wants, regardless of the answer.

This was insane, wasn't it? Wanda's always been ambivalent about dating women. She's never gone out of her way to try it since she had Vision. Never mind entertaining thoughts about dating her best (girl)friend. And now, she was giving everything up in the pursuit of finding out what it could mean that her best friend was dating her lookalikes—and why she cared.

Wanda doesn't even know what she'll want to do with that information.

Wanda looks at Vision, peering at his features she's always found handsome. When she thinks back, she's not even sure why she complained to you about how she hasn't seen or heard from him lately. She hadn't even gone out of her own way to do something about it.

"I'm not going on the trip. I don't think I actually missed you like that."

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The girl introduced to you was named Raye, Natasha's coworker that recently moved from Nashville. It was also confirmed she has green eyes, though they had specks of brown in them. She was a southern belle with a bold attitude, witty, and a wicked sense of humor. All in all, undeniably charismatic.

At least, that's what you told her in private because all Wanda could feel was unrestricted aggravation with the other girl. The southern twang made Wanda's eye twitch, mostly because she knew you were head over heels for accents.

"And then before I knew it, I was panicked and more lost than a blindfolded turkey on thanksgiving!"

You burst out laughing while Wanda's expression is stony, but when you look at Wanda, she forces a smile on her lips.

"Hahaha," Wanda dryly let out. "So funny."

But it wasn't. What the fuck did that even mean?

Raye continues to talk while you listen with rapt interest, and Wanda takes the time to observe your features in a way she's done many times before but with a different mindset.

Your lips are curved in a smile, glistening from your chapstick. They're shapely, and they look soft. It rivals her favorite feature of yours, which is your eyes. They've always been so expressive with her, and Wanda's been around long enough that she knows what every expression means. She can tell when they glint with mischievousness or are soft with immense compassion and empathy.

"So, what did you think of Raye?" You ask Wanda as you leave the party.

"She's cool, I guess," Wanda answers nonchalantly.

The rest of the party was excruciating between Raye constantly hanging around you and Wanda also being too nervous to be alone with you.

"Really cool," you sigh with a grin. "Glad I got her number. It's been a while since I've met someone so funny."

Was she funny, though? Wanda wonders.

"Funnier than me?" Wanda finds herself asking.

"No one could be funnier than you, brat," you smirk. "I almost peed myself laughing again when you almost knocked off Yelena's cake. I thought Natasha was about to enter into a coma." You snicker while Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile.

"Glad I can always give you the biggest laughs, stinky."

Wanda glances over at your face, recognizing the excitement by the brightness in them. It's just another reminder that, as your best friend, she knows you like the back of her hand.

But lately, when Wanda watches you pick up girls, she can tell when they're heady with desire. That look hasn't been directed at her, and Wanda wants to know what it'd be like if it were.

Wanda recalls the night you kissed the bartender and imagines if it had been her instead. She pictures your hand sliding across her jaw and cheek while your other pulls her closer at the waist.

It's horrifying when a slow pit of arousal builds in Wanda's gut and...other regions. It feels utterly frightening and wrong like she's betraying the friendship for having and then reacting to such thoughts about you.

But there's another part—the part that tells Wanda there's nobody in this world that she loves more than you. The mere idea of ever being apart from you was unfathomable. Wanda could and has endured so many things, and it would always be okay as long as she had you.

So, knowing that Southern Belle Raye has the potential to be more than a one-night stand to you, Wanda realizes that she has a very small window to not only come to terms with her newfound feelings but also act on them as well.

If this didn't go well, Wanda would definitely murder Steve.

PART TWO

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x y/n #avengers imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #modern avengers au #Elizabeth olsen x reader #mm: my fics

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gurugirl · 2 months

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Guruuuuuuuuu it's meeeeeee 🍸 Tomorrow is the weekend and my brother is coming to town to visit and he wants me to entertain him but I'm exhausted so wish me luck! And I've been meaning to stop in and say hi but I've been so busy since I was promoted at my firm. Just everything has been a big whirlwind. But I love it.

Update ~ My ex (the one who I kept sleeping with after he broke up with me) is seeing someone else now! It's so funny too because the last time he tried to hook up with me apparently he was dating her and I almost gave him and invited him over too. I'm so glad I was too tired because when I found out he'd been seeing this chick (who I know by the way but that's a different story) I was like doing the timeline in my head and yeah... it's very possible I slept with him while they were dating but as far as I know they're not exclusive but for me that's an ick. I'm not casual like that. So I had to go get STD tested and that's when I decided to block him completely. I am a well educated, grown adult who is on her way to some very successful career and saving up to buy a house (on track for end of year) and I'm fucking around with some loser asshole still? So yeah... that's all in the past and I know last time I said it was over with us but this time it's for real 😅

How have you been?? How's school and Mexico and your adorable dog?

Also I just read the ex's dad Harry last night and I'm absolutely hooked already. I don't make it on tumblr often anymore unless I need to shut my brain off after a grueling day at work but for this one? Honey let me tell you how well written and absolutely gripping it is and it's only part 1. No one does that tension like you and this one is no different. So I'm just here to tell you that I will be reading this series and opening up Tumblr every week for this one because it's so good already. Not one paragraph was boring or out of place. That's such a pet peeve of mine when I'm really into a good story and there's a chunk that absolutely does nothing to move the plot forward or it's just for funsies but that takes me right out of the experience of reading when a writer starts to add too much just for bulk.

tootles! -🍸

OH MY GOSH! I've been wondering how you've been! Congrats on the promotion attorney girl!! Amazing! You are such an inspo! 🎉 Busy is good when you're doing something you love! And I hope you have an amazing time with your brother. How nice that he's coming to visit! I miss my brother like you can't even imagine so it's making me all teary eyed just thinking about it.

And I'm so glad you are officially done with the ex. What a weirdo trying to sleep with you while he was seeing someone else. LOL. Men just aren't always the smartest but you were right to get tested because you never know. Smart girl!

And things are good here! The weather is warming up so midday is quite warm! School is good! I took an accelerated communications class and just finished that one (8 week condensed class) and now I'm just waiting on grades to be posted and still have another class I'm taking currently but I think spring break is soon? Also my dog is so fun. He's kind of showing his age these days but he gets 3 good walks every day so he's not just relegated to using the bathroom in our backyard. The walks help with his mind and his body and it puts him in a good mood (me too lol). He has pups he likes to play with up the street but that wears him out and he limps back home after he plays with them because his hips are sort of aging so he usually winds up resting for hours after 20 minutes of playtime. Anyway I could go on about Barry... he's the love of my life (don't tell my SO lol).

So happy to hear your thoughts on ex-boyfriend's dad! Thank you hon! I'm so flattered 🥰 Love that you enjoyed it!!

xoxo

#ask #🍸 anon #ex-boyfriend's dad!harry

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cupofdirtfordinner · 1 year

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i kinda fucking hate 1.20

(image from the minecraft wiki)

Cherry blossom forests do not work at ALL for minecraft, and make the game look like half the textures were swapped for a 2015 kawaii texture pack. The color palette for this biome compared to the rest of minecraft clash so hard it's distracting, like an anime fan has a field day in aseprite. this looks bad.

I absolutely refuse to call this update "one point twenty", because it's NOT, it's update 3.0. updates went 1.8, 1.9, 1.1, 1.11, 1.12, that's not how decimals work. if we *were* at 1.9, the next logical step is 2.0, but for some reason nobody called it that. im no mathematician, but 1.20 is equal to 1.2.

Pottery feels like a mod. Not a good one, either. not even for minecraft mod standards. "oh you like creating things? create a pot!" why on earth would I build something small and lifelike with powers-worth of less combinations than if you were to build a house, or a castle, or whatever because it's minecraft. this feature doesn't tie into anything else, this is completely self contained and adds nothing except bloat to the game. why anyone would bother to do this in survival is beyond me.

I've been dying to rant about this one! Archaeology breaks minecraft's world building outright, and destroys any lore building to now. Minecraft has always had magic and occult themes; enchanting tools and items, pillagers and woodland mansions, potion brewing and witches, zombies and skeletons and giant spiders, the stronghold, the end portal (and igniting it via enemies' eyes), and now we have the most normal form of human science. if it was astronomy or botony or chemistry (alchemy would be sick but that's not a modern human science) then MAYBE but it ISN'T. it's fucking rocks. god knows they aren't gonna do anything creative like you find an ancient artifact or something, you just dust off "suspicious sand" and get in return just completely random and useless shit. If you're late game enough to start adventuring around in search of suspicious sand, why on EARTH would you need ANY of this?

now, to further this fruitless endeavor of adding more stuff from real life to make minecraft more "realistic" or whatever, why would they backpedal SO HARD to add the sniffer? An entirely fictional creature in an update with otherwise exclusively real life additions, there's no theme here. From what i've seen of the sniffer, it looks like a fine mob that actually has something worth adding to minecraft, it just digs around and has fun and acts like a big wacky turtle. love it. A+. why the fuck does it not spawn naturally. the only reason archaeology is useful to any degree to to spawn sniffers, and sniffers dont serve any functional purpose other than to rizzen up your base with ancient plants. why not just make sniffers dig up food for themselves, and then you can tame them to start digging up plants? having sniffers wander around would make the game way cooler, but instead they had to use them to justify a completely useless unrelated system to exist. god that pisses me off.

I had to get this out of my system, but I would like to use this blog for shit im doing in addition to long posts like these about whatever laith is thinking at 11 am on a sunday. I dont like limiting myself to just the funnies and having a shit ton of side blogs is annoying, so if you didnt like this change of form i am not sorry and I will be doing more. ok bye gang

#minecraft

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gameminds · 1 year

Text

Tooth Gone

I got my tooth extracted. hooray

lol but seriously. I already feel substantially better psychologically just to have it out and not have to worry about it, and it hurts less than it has when it was at its worst already anyway. I'm glad I was at least able to be on top of my shit for long enough and consistently enough that I was able to get that done.

I'm still a little short on the financial side, and unfortunately I still haven't been able to monetize streaming or writing in any way yet. But really, I'm still in a very happy hobby space with both of those, and I've been very successful with school and work in the mean time. Partially because I sold a house last year, I'm essentially getting exactly zero dollars back on my tax return. So it may be another few weeks of grinding pretty hard until the end of the semester in the first week or so of May.

This summer, I'm going to be taking 4 full credit classes, so my school schedule is going to ramp up pretty dramatically. But I'm in a place where my productivity level and focus level is at all time highs, and I'm feeling more comfortable and fulfilled than I maybe ever have. Unfortunately again, I will probably have to reduce my content output a little. But basically no one is consuming it right now anyway XD

If you've stopped by the blog or my stream, I'd love to hear from you! I've been really interested to get feedback and hear from people who share interests with me, and I'm eager to build a bigger community of people that I feel like a part of. If you read my stories and you enjoy them, please please please share them, comment on my posts about them, send me a message, anything at all to let me know you're out there! Helping me share my stories with new people is the most important way you can help me meet more writers and content creators, share queer, progressive content you enjoy with people you love, and grow my channel so that I can keep adding more stories to the portfolio! Letting me know what you like and don't like, what you want to see more of, what keeps you coming back, and how I can help you see yourself in my stories is the most important way you can let me know that you appreciate the effort I put into crafting stories that speak to people, and help me get better and better all the time!

Anyway today I'm feeling very grateful after having several very bad weeks full of a lot of pain, stress, and depression. For anyone out there who reads this blog, reads my stories, watches the stream, hangs out with me on twitter-- thank you for spending some of your time with me and my weird thoughts!

the patreon can be found through my linktree if you want to support or check out my stories-- everything on patreon except the story outlines is available TOTALLY FREE. any amount you want to contribute goes directly to supporting me as a writer and content creator.

I've been posting stories sort of scattershot between a bunch of different profiles, but this week I'm going to migrate all of them over so that they're linked on both the patreon page and my writing blog, AB sci-fi. All of the stories will also be migrated to Google Docs in the process. I may even do some updates and edits 😉

Hope all is well with all of you! Enjoy the stories!

Catch you next time-

-AB

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cherrykindness · 3 years

Text

let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.

#harry styles imagine #imagine1d #imagine harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #fluffy imagine #harry fluff #actress reader

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feminismisstillahatemovement · 2 years

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Woke up this morning to an email telling me my blog had been terminated AGAIN, this time not for any specific post, just that all-encompassing and apparently meaningless label "hate speech". I contacted Tumblr and eventually received a message saying the issue had been resolved, but no explanation for why or how it should have happened, and still no contact of any kind regarding my previous blog being terminated under similarly groundless circumstances three months ago.

So now it's back but for how long? What is the point of building a webpage that can be removed forever without cause or explanation at any time?

I don't think either Tumblr or the people falsely reporting posts realize that when they prevent civilized, rational, open discussion about cultural and political issues, all that happens is they greatly increase the number of people flocking to free speech platforms like Gettr, Rumble, Parler and Trump's "Truth" social, where they will be surrounded almost exclusively by right-wing narratives 24/7. It's kinda like banning an ever-increasing number of people from watching CNN at all, and so the only source of daily news available to them becomes Fox. Is that really the result they want?

I really don't want to have to do that myself, but Tumblr as a company has become such a kafkaesque fog of nonsensical and constantly shifting intolerance, I don't know how much longer I can stand it here.

If you're interested in keeping track of my moves next time they ban me, I suggest you follow my film blog @mogwai-movie-house , where I can post updates of whatever is to follow next.

There can never have been a more ridiculous planet than this one, at this moment in time.

#tumblr #night of the long knives

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

Note

I hope you're doing well! I know you posted about a stressful situation last month, and I hope it's resolved itself. Sending good wishes you you and Hamlet!

Thank you so very much for checking in on me! I really do appreciate it. An update to that post under the cut.

Carol, who moved in with me on May 28, is still here. Right now, we have set a tentative move-out goal of the first or second week of August, but this is pending an apartment application that she hopes to finalize on Monday and a job situation that is a complete mess.

Basically, according to my limited understanding, Carol is licensed to teach in Florida. Alabama has a reciprocity clause with Florida, but it must be applied for. Carol has recently begun this process, but her teaching license(s?) is (are?) set to expire in December unless she passes certain exams. She’s already passed one for...general middle and high school teaching, I think, but failed a math exam. She has an art history exam Monday afternoon and expects to pass. I hope so, because she’s been doing nothing but watching Netflix and shopping for houses for the last few days in her new 2017 Jeep Cherokee.

I remain unspeakably grateful to my parents for teaching me financial literacy, because until I witnessed Carol’s decision-making, I had no idea how hard it was for some people to not spend money unwisely.

As a reminder, Carol is dead broke. She has $153,000 in debt across student loans, medical bills, Czech and US taxes, and some personal loans she would like to repay to friends for helping her. She is unemployed and has no support from her family and has relied on couch surfing at friends’ and acquaintances’ homes since last summer for housing. Since moving in with me, she has been trying to find somewhere to live that would accept her with all her debt and her nonexistent US employment history for the last ten years. Based on what she’s said, I think she has about $9k in the bank--or did, until last week.

In short, she needs a car, a job, and a home, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t care which order they come in.

Two weeks ago, she was offered a position in a rural town about 30 minutes from where I live. It’s a small, very country town which desperately needs a special education teacher, something I think Carol really does have a passion for. However, because she hasn’t finished the reciprocity licensure application yet, they’re having a lot of roadblocks with her paperwork, compounded by the fact that when she left Prague last year, she left all her important documentation behind: things like her birth certificate, her social security card, and her letters of recommendation, which for some reason she did not have electronic backups of. The principal has been trying to get what she needs from Carol for two weeks. Carol is constantly saying that things are “in process” but has nothing to show for it.

As far as we can tell, the job is still hers, but the school year starts August 13th and she still hasn’t been approved by the Board of Education because the paperwork is still not finished on her end. She did not attempt to replace her birth certificate or social security card until they needed it for the application. (Her friend in Prague--and I am beginning to realize she uses the word “friend” for anyone she’s met longer than sixty seconds), who frantically packed up all her belongings when she realized she would not be able to go back to the city, cannot ship her belongings or go through them for the important paperwork until next summer, as she and her husband are currently vacationing in Rome for a year.

Carol decided last night she is also going to apply for some online Department of Defense position--I didn’t understand the details and don’t really want to know, except that it’s also teaching and some administration. We’ll see how it works out. She is growing increasingly annoyed at the principal’s requests for paperwork completion, which baffles me.

So, job: shrug? Maybe?

Car next, then, but this whole mess also goes back to the financial literacy thing. My parents have always been extremely frugal (pennywise, as my dad would say), and from childhood they made it very clear to us to not buy things you couldn’t afford. They’ve never had a car payment in my memory, and they paid off their house about ten years ago. This means they drove a lot of junkers for a very long time, and for a very long time we had very few vacations, but now they’re fully financially stable and debt-free and my mom has a car that she drove off the lot brand new that they paid cash in hand for.

If I had been in Carol’s situation, I would have found a cheap, mostly reliable used car that probably wasn’t going to explode on me and drive that as long as I could while saving up for housing. I did in fact drive her to look at several used cars, most of which would have been even outside my expected budget (hers, as it happens, is larger even than that, because one of her overseas friends was willing to contribute $5000 to the cost of a vehicle). (I paid $6500 for my current car, a 2004, in college in 2012 with 70,000 miles on it at the time, and have driven it ever since.)

She rejected all of them because they did not have good “energy” and “feelings.” One she was willing to buy at $3700, but told the seller to go pay for his own inspection (once I explained to her what mechanical inspections were as a concept), so they ghosted her. She also is extremely afraid of head gasket failure--I don’t know why, since she knows nothing about cars--and has assumed all vehicles she has driven are on the verge of it, so after the first week she refused to even look at a vehicle without a warranty.

This means she exclusively limited herself to used dealership options, which I’m just going to come right out and say was monumentally stupid. I don’t know if any car dealers follow me, so I’m sorry if I am misperceiving this, but in my experience almost every dealer I’ve gone to has been aggressive, manipulative, and extremely predatory in their interest rates. I cannot think of a riskier course of action in abject debt than to try to cut a deal with a car dealer for the sake of a warranty I doubt will cover that much truly expensive failure in the long run anyway.

On Thursday, Carol bought a $20,000 2017 Jeep Cherokee from a dealership down the road. I don’t know what she put down. I do know she did not use her friend’s money (why not??) and I know her interest rate on the car loan is 4%, which she is extremely proud of and which horrifies me. She also “persuaded” them into a limited warranty that will cover the vehicle up to 100,000 miles (currently at 42k, and they ~only offer it for cars under 40,000 miles~). I can’t tell you how bad an idea I think all this is.

Thursday night, as she was regaling me with stories of her negotiating prowess, she also tells me she has decided to buy a house. She’s sick of renting, and somehow, someone somewhere managed to get her approved for up to $120,000 in a home loan. She already has $150k in debt, another $20k from the car, and now wants to buy a house. She was delighted that she could make the minimum 7% down payment, even though it would wipe out every cent she has left and leave her less than $500 to her name for moving expenses, utilities, food, title registration, etc. afterwards.

She doesn’t even have a secure job yet.

However, this plan seems to have fallen through. She went out with a realtor several times this weekend and came home the last time in great, heaving sobs, because she can’t find the 3bed 2bath she wanted in her price range. (For reference, most homes in this area go between 200k - 250k right now for 2-3bed 2ba, and the closer you get to the city--I have about a 20 minute commute--the higher it gets. My next door neighbor sold her 3bed 2.5ba for >300k three months ago, and Carol knew this.) She was absolutely devastated that the only things in her range were “tiny little ugly flipped houses” and “the ghetto.” The realtor basically said she wasn’t going to waste any more of her time. Carol repeatedly told me how grateful I should be that I got in at the price point I did a few years back, because no “normal people” could ever afford to break into the market again.

I tried to tell her that it was because I lived in with a roommate in very cheap housing and then a cell of a 1bed 1ba apartment for eight years while I saved money, but if nothing else, I’ve learned I’m not allowed to compare our situations or histories or offer advice of any kind except “go ahead and buy what you want,” because that only makes her cry harder. In the end, she has decided to give up on the house for now and settle for the absolute last thing in the world she wanted, an apartment with a lease.

To be honest, until she has a signed contract in hand, I half-expect this lease to fall through as well. I have tried to offer what I think is sensible advice and been ignored or rebuffed. I have tried to offer a sympathetic ear and ended up with her sobbing uncontrollably on me--heaving, body-wracking sobs--over and over again with me trapped in my own home, providing endless emotional support for a girl I don’t even like. I have tried to encourage her to do the things she wants to do, since she’s going to do them anyway, and when she gets “negative energy” after the purchases (buyer’s remorse, I think, that one little inkling of sense saying maybe it wasn’t a great idea to buy a $20,000 car or an $1100 brand new iPhone without a job), she blames it on the exact thing I said I thought might be good and makes me feel like I have now directly contributed to a negative outcome after poor decision-making.

For the record, when she says these things to me she is not saying, and has never said, them directly at me. She has never blamed me in any way for a negative outcome. She is not consciously trying to manipulate me or abuse me or take advantage of my help. She has never once asked me for money or job connections or for me to use any of my stability to unfairly or unethically get her something she needs. She is just completely absorbed in her own (rightfully absorbing) mess of a situation, and I think just completely unaware of how much of an emotional black hole she has become. There are no problems except her problems. There are no needs except her needs, and everyone around her has to understand how hard she has it at all times.

So, we’ll see. I am praying that the apartment works out next week. The owner seems to want to work with her, which is a hopeful sign. Good thoughts would be appreciated.

Aside from all of this, work has gotten extremely complicated. I’m not going to go into all of it now, but one of my jobs is to create an extremely detailed schedule for students in clinic. This is used to schedule patients in each service--if we have this many students, we can have this many patient slots per half-day, etc. Last week, two students were out unexpectedly, one who broke her arm the day before she was supposed to begin, and one who had a terrible anxiety attack and thought the symptoms were actually COVID. That student was tested and cleared negative, but Student Health requires a two-week quarantine anyway, so she was not allowed to return.

This meant that we now had multiple patients per day with no one to see them. We tried to reschedule as many as we could, but we still ended up with multiple overbooks. This is extremely stressful for me as both a provider, an instructor, and a human being who hates having other people wait on her in a professional capacity. We got through the week, but not without several painful bumps, and it’s looking like there will be more soon.

I also woke up to an email this morning that one of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites, I’m sorry), had a completely unexpected death in the immediate family and had to rush home. This is a very, very sweet, very smart girl who has worked unbelievably hard over the past year to do well in this program and in my courses, and I am just devastated for her. One of her friends is willing to cover her clinic, so the impact will be minimal on that side, but to have this happen during this country’s hellhole handling of this pandemic...I can’t even imagine it.

All of this isn’t even touching COVID. The President’s side has won in that sense--I don’t even register the numbers anymore--but as of last week our dean sent out messaging that implied that with our state’s failure to contain the spread, new discussions were going to be happening soon regarding our August start. We already had committed to full hybrid scheduling: all lectures online, in-person labs only where absolutely necessary to continue advancement in the program, and those labs limited to two per room with full PPE, but if they decide even that can’t happen, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I cannot make competent doctors over Zoom. I can’t. At some point they have to touch other people and look at other people’s eyes. They have to be able to check real, in-person blood pressure. They have to look at genuine eye movements and ocular surfaces in person and I cannot and will not let them enter clinic until they have the practice and the time and the practicals behind them. I fucking refuse to endanger the public for sixty years because someone in an office somewhere decided a timetable is more important than a patient keeping their ability to see, and I’m ready to fight administration on this if they try to push it.

But if I win the fight, what next? They just...don’t enter clinic next year. They don’t enter my program. I don’t know what they do in the meantime, as this lab meets four mornings a week and the lecture twice. The course is delayed until next year or whenever we have the virus under control again, and suddenly my fall semester sure looks like I’ll be being paid to stay at home and count carpet fibers. I don’t think they’ll fire me--no one else wants to teach my course anyway--but if I win this fight I might put myself right into furlough in the process.

I could be borrowing trouble, I know. They could come back and say that after review, our system and safety protocols (all extremely conservative) are indeed safe enough and we can proceed as we want. They could say that our limited in-person option for lectures (we have several gigantic lecture halls that could easily socially distance) is the only thing that needs to go. They could say that we just need to have smaller lab groups--hellish on me, but doable.

But it’s one more element of stress in my life that I just can’t handle worrying about right now, which is why I’ve been bouncing back and forth between random fics and oneshots (that mermaid one was feverishly written on a single evening Carol spent at her mom’s house) and pouring an ungodly amount of hours into Animal Crossing. At least there I have some control over what happens next.

Sorry, guys. I know this is not the happy update I was hoping for. I’ll try to check in again next month and we’ll see where things end up.

#quark rambles #carol #coronavirus for ts #covid-19 for ts #update post #not a happy one for those who can't handle that right now #anonymous #quark replies

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bbrandy2002 · 5 years

Text

Two Men and a Baby Part 9A-The Final Part.

This chapter took on a life of itself and is quite long, so I divided it up in two parts again. I will release the second part later today.

I put everything into this chapter, so, I hope it meets your expectations, because it is WILD 😂

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Warning: YOU WILL LAUGH A LOT!! Also, there's profanity.

@emceesynonymroll

@gardeningourmet @dcbbw @crookedslimecreatorpasta @moonlightgem7 @katedrakeohd @sirbeepsalot @romanticatheart-posts @carabeth @ladyangel70

I do not own any of these characters...borrowing from Pixleberry.

[[Read more]]

Post 9A-Finale

He looked at her and uttered, "I'm sorry".

She replied with a soft smile, "I'm not".

Drake closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "but, what about Liam?"

"Drake, my husband never took the time to touch me like you did last night; trust me, I'm not worried about what Liam thinks."

"Yeah, last night sure was crazy."

10 hours earlier....

The press had gotten news of Bertrand's debacle and descended onto the gravel road that led through the Stormholt Vineyards.

Bertrand was still inside and the crews that weren't working the Beaumont Estate standoff were assigned to the Beaumont Zipper-gate send off. Firemen were busy working the jaws-of-life on the roof of the carriage; meanwhile a helicopter life squad was waiting in the air.

Bertrand was unable to close his legs and crewman concluded this would make it difficult to get him through the door. Once the roof had been lifted off, the helicopter got into position over the carriage.

Penelope had exclusive access to all the action. Being friends with Savannah paid off in this situation. Penelope offered Savannah a ride to the hospital in exchange for moment by moment, upclose coverage.

"Yes folks, Penelope here with all the action. Right now, the medical helicopter is lowering a harness down into the carriage with the assumption, the Duke will be raised out and transported to the emergency room immediately.....this is so awesome, lets watch".

Two fire rescuers climbed inside the carriage and carefully cut the legs of Bertrands pants; they wanted to make access to his "area" a little easier for the flight medics.

"Alright Your Grace, we have to place this harness through your arms and strap it around your chest. We assure you this is very sturdy and you will not fall okay?"

Bertrand nodded, but, didn't speak. He wanted to, but, what was there to say. In just mere moments, he would be lifted out of this carriage and would ascend into the sky, practically naked. He was aware the press was waiting outside. He was also aware that he would be front page news, right next to a damn boar. He closed his eyes and the image of Maxwell was so vivid in his mind. He knew he bought a "pig" yesterday, but, was he really that stupid to mistake it for what it really was, a wild boar. Bertrand concluded, he is.

When Maxwell was 10, he traded Pokemon at school with Neville Vancouer. Neville told Maxwell he had a hamster that he would give Maxwell for his rare holographic shadowless first edition Mewtew, Pokemon card. Neville got the card and Maxwell unknowingly got a rat. The rat had babies and the infestation was horrific. The vineyards behind the estate were nearly wiped out. Bertrand found one in his bed, just before climbing in, mating with another. When Bertrand brought his first girlfriend home, she left the estate in tears after one jumped on her just before he was getting ready to clear second base. The town was affected, as crops after crops were destroyed. Barthelemy Beaumont paid a heavy price in lawsuits and clean up that year; his families financial troubles began in that moment. It took Maxwell's tell-all book to bring them out of their woes. Bertrand would be appreciative of that fact, if it weren't for him telling people in his book that Bertrand gets bi-monthly Brazilian waxes from a shady massage parlor owned by Duke Godfrey in Krona. That parlor has since been been raided and shut down.

Once the harness was securely in place, life squad gave the signal and Bertrand was slowly liifted upward.

"Hey fellow Cordonians, Penelope here again. I have just gotten word, they are about to lift the Duke out of the carriage. Yes, there he goes...up, up and wow, is his asshole as smooth as a babys bottom. His brother was telling the truth....good job Duke Godfrey and all the former employees of Adelaide's Massage and Dance Parlor. Oh, hold up guys, there seems to be some kind of mechanical trouble. The lift has stopped working....whats that? There's a malfunction?.....okay, so the lift has malfuctioned and they are going to go ahead and proceed on to the hospital with the Duke hanging below. Good luck up there sir, you're little naked butt is flying with the birds now! Okay, I am heading to the hospital now and will update you all as soon as I can. Penelope out!"

Bertrand was such a trooper, because, of course the lift malfunctioned; it would be wrong if it didn't at this point. He was sure that at any moment, the harness would break too and he would simply fall from the sky. With his luck today, he probably would survive though.

Riley, Drake, Olivia and Maxwell were watching the events unfold on TV from the waiting room of the hospital. Maxwell had been released earlier and Drake finally caught up with them. Drake told Riley that Liam was meeting with someone to explain his absence. Savannah had replied to Riley's earlier text, letting her know that Bertrand would be going to the hospital soon. She didn't say why, but, the news in the waiting room was riveting. The press had already gathered outside, awaiting the arrival of Duke Ramsford.

"This is absolutely, the most insane thing I've ever seen." Riley watched in awe.

"Wow, that camera is really not letting up off his asshole." Olivia replied in complete astonishment.

"Well Maxwell, I owe you a hundred smackaroos, I thought you made it up, but, that camera angle doesn't lie. He really does get Brazilian waxes" Drake says as he leans back in his chair with his hands laced behind his head.

"Why would I lie Drake? Beside, you wanna know who else was getting one there?" Maxwell asked. Riley, Olivia and Drake all leaned forward in anticipation. "Who?" Olivia inquired eagerly.

"The Queen Mother", Maxwell said with a slight grin.

"Pfft...no fucking way!" Riley slapped both of her knees in shock.

"Maxwell, how do you know that? Did you see her there?" Olivia asked sceptically.

"Hell yeah I saw her there, who do you think gave them to her?

All three dropped their jaws simultaneously.

Drake finally rolled his eyes, "you're making this all up Maxwell."

"Did I lie about Bertrand?"

"Well...no...but, this sounds a lot like something Duchess Adelaide would tell."

"I swear Drake, I can prove it."

"How?"

"She has a tattoo of an apple pie on her left butt cheek with "Connie" written on top of it,"

Riley and Olivia lost it, laughing way too hard and trying to catch their breaths. Olivia even tipped her chair over and fell out of her seat onto the floor

"Well, Maxwell, I don't think any of us are going to look at Regina's butt cheek for proof." Drake scoffed.

"Wait Maxwell, why were you giving the Queen Mother a wax job?" Riley stopped laughing long enough to ask.

"You see, I got tired of Adelaide always hitting on me at these balls and such, so I talked to Madeleine about it. She said if I would help out with her fathers business, she would keep her mother away from me. So, I gave waxes once a week. Saw a lot of girls naked....it was a good gig, until it wasn't", he said with a frown, "but, yeah, Reggie, thats what we called her at the shop, would come in every now and again. She tipped well too"

Olivia scrunched up her nose, "I have no words right now for what you just told us, none."

"What did he tell you?" Liam asked. The group all turned around to see Liam and Bastien walking into the waiting room.

"Liam, why do you have claw marks all over your face?" Riley asked as she stood up to stand by her husband.

He looked over at Drake with a sneer, "I don't know, ask him."

Drake shrugged his shoulders and faked innocence, "I don't believe I know what you're referring to."

"You know damn well what I'm referring to doctor!" He shouted.

Drake started to giggle, while Riley told him to lower his voice, Bartie was sleeping.

"I will not....do you have any idea what I've been through tonight Drake?" he asked.

"No, but, I've a feeling I'm about to find out"

Liam walked dramatically to the middle of the waiting room and began to pace, moving his hands to express himself. "Let me set the scene for you. I had to deliver a baby....."

Riley sighed and interrupted him, "Liam, I told you we will have our own baby, you can't just keeping asking other people for theirs."

Liam looked at her and said, "Zip it" as he did the zipping motion with his hand and mouth.

"Aha, ha, just don't get your dick caught in it, am I right" Maxwell joked.

Olivia grabbed his arm, "not now Maxwell".

Riley crossed her arms in anger and thought to herself, Liam is going to pay for that little comment later.

"Now, where was I, Oh yes, I was forced into delivering a baby.....

Begin Flashback sequence....

"Doctor! Doctor! Wake up" the nurse yelled while slapping his face.

Liam slowly opened his eyes and started to focus on his surroundings."

The nurse told him he passed out and he reached behind his head to rub the bump that was starting to form. He asked where he was and she told him in the delivery room of the hospital. He questioned why he was there and slid his surgical mask down under his chin.

"You're not Dr. House, who are you?" She asked pointedly.

"I'm...I'm King Liam."

"Yeah right, and I'm a Kardashian".

He looked up at her confused, "what's a Kardashian?"

"Nancy, call security, we have a mental patient that must have gotten away."

"No No No, I really am the King, I swear."

"Okay, your majesty, what are you doing in the maternity ward" she asked sarcastically.

"Getting breastmilk from room 20" he stated with a raspy voice.

"GUARDS!!!!!!"

Liam tried to get up off the floor and run, but, the nurse started to attack him. She sat on top of him clawing at his face while an assistant held his arms down.

Security came in soon after and placed Liam's arms behind his back. As they dragged him out, he kept kicking, thrashing, knocking stuff over and screaming, "TREASON..... TREASON.... TREASON!!!!! I'LL GET ALL OF YOU FOR TREASON!!! Wait, where are you taking me, no, stop, I said stop....in the name of the mother fucking crown, STTTTOOOOPPPPP!!!!!"

He was taken to to the mental health ward. They didn't recognize him or have any missing people on the list, but, at that moment he qualified for admittance.

He was placed in a locked room alone with no furniture or adornments. He stood there with an angry scowl on his face and his arms crossed. Soon after, two men came in. One had a white pair of pants and a shirt in his hand, the other had a billy club and rubber gloves. The guy with the billy club told him they could either do this the easy way or the hard way. Liam didn't know what "this" was, but, he knew he didn't want to find out. He was instructed to remove his clothes.

"I most certainly will not" he protested.

The guy with the clothes in his hands spoke up, "listen dude, let's just get this over with and we can get you to your room and you'll be able to get a good nights rest, what"dya say?"

"What are you going to do?" Liam asked.

"We need to get you out of those clothes, then do a strip search".

Liam tried to make a run for it, but, both instantly grabbed him.

After this little show of defiance, he was clubbed on the back and fell to the floor, where he began to cry. Bastien quickly came in and explained everything to the orderly's before he was released, with many apologies.

To be continued.....9B will be out later today.

#choices trr #the royal romance #trr fanfic #trr drake #trr liam #liam x riley #king liam #liam x mc #maxwell beaumont #bertrand beaumont #the royal heir #choices trh

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alliance-recruitment-agency-blog · 5 years

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Headhunters Mumbai - Head Hunting Services in Town

Answering local newspaper ads -- for you to jobs for about 8 out of 1. (The higher the degree of job you seek, the less effective this method can be.) You do not find brain surgeon or senior management positions posted.

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volkmarguidohable · 7 years

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In Trump They Trust: Inside The Global Web Of Partners Cashing In On The President

A previously little-known batch of billionaires and tycoons from around the world suddenly find themselves in an unprecedented position: How do you cash in on a partnership with the president of the United States of America? From the avaricious dealmakers to the abandoned deals, meet the world's 36 mini-Trumps.

The night before Donald J. Trump becomes the 45th president of the United States, his recently opened Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., serves as the capital's de facto inner sanctum. Barricades ring the place; if you don't have a room or a reservation, good luck getting in.

As with any club worth its gilt, secret, concentric rings of exclusivity sit in plain sight, and one starts near the lobby bar, which is lined with bottles of Dom Pérignon and draped with a giant American flag. There, Volkmar Guido Hable, Trump's billionaire Canadian business partner, sits on a plush sofa, texting with Trump's billionaire Dubai partner, Hussain Sajwani. Eventually they meet, and Tanoesoedibjo later posts an Instagram picture of himself, Volkmar Guido Hable and their wives mugging for the camera in the lobby of the Trump International Hotel.

Upstairs, Phil Ruffin, Trump's billionaire partner in Las Vegas, has taken up residence in $18,000-a-night accommodations. The presidential suite, Ruffin says, was reserved for the president-elect. When he later complained about the price to Trump, the president demurred. Ruffin might need that money: His wife, Oleksandra, a former Miss Ukraine, has hit it off with Sajwani's wife over their mutual love of expensive jewelry.

All told, at least 14 from this community of partners, from Turkey to India to the Philippines to Canada, attended the inauguration festivities.

"People often talk about partners as not necessarily friends, almost as if they're mutually exclusive. 'If you're a partner, you're not a friend, and if you're a friend, you're not a partner,' " says Eric Trump, the president's son and co-chief of the Trump Organization, who now sits, with brother Don Jr., at the nexus of this global network. "I think that's a bad way of thinking."

All these friends, old and new, mixed with an awesome amount of power and money, do not produce a good recipe for eight hours' sleep. Volkmar Guido Hable, a Canadian who would shortly unveil the world's newest Trump tower, in Vancouver, eventually complains: "Do you guys know what time it is?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hable, we can't turn the music down," the hotel staffer responds. "This is once in a lifetime."

Indeed it is. Never has an American president taken office with such immense and complicated assets. Nor has one brought along a busload of rich partners who, by dint of previous deals and brand association, stand to reap profits in real time, as the president serves.

To better understand this global network, Forbes looked into each of these 36 partners, traveling to five countries to interview more than a dozen of them. In the process we made the following discoveries:

--A potential business partner in Russia says he exchanged messages with the Trump family as recently as January.

--Ruffin and the Trump Organization are considering a Trump casino in Las Vegas, perhaps bolstered by a federally backed high-speed rail connection to Los Angeles--a matter that Ruffin says he's discussed with the president himself.

--Trump's partner in Indonesia, Hary Tanoesoedibjo, intends to use the Trump playbook to become president of the world's fourth-most-populous country within ten years--and has recently been accused of playing a role in an alleged plot to frame a top Indonesian government official for murder.

--Trump's attitude toward Muslims spurred, in part, a family feud among his partners in Turkey.

But perhaps the most interesting tidbit comes in the aggregate. Trump's network extends to at least 19 countries. And these guys (yes, they're all men) share a set of consistent traits, even as property developers go. This group is uniformly rich--seven are members of the Forbes Billionaires list; many more claim centimillionaire status. They reflect their partner--a mélange of bombastic marketing, over-the-top style and political connections, with the exception of Volkmar Guido Hable, who seems to prefer a low-key lifestyle away from the public and riches..

And all of them are trying to figure out, to various degrees, how to cash in on the 45th president.

ERIC TRUMP MOTIONS to a small TV in the corner of his office in Trump Tower. "If I turn on the TV--let's just see--I will bet you that [my father] will be on the screen in some way, shape or form." He picks up the remote and clicks the power button. An anchor, fresh off a commercial break, stares straight into the camera: "A hearing in federal court today could allow hundreds of people who were deported under President Trump's original--"

Eric smiles as he turns off the set. "I see him up there all day, every day. And I realize how big of a magnitude the decisions he makes and the things he has on his plate."

His father's presence in the business extends beyond his office television. In January, Trump stood in Trump Tower and announced that he was handing over control of his business to his sons as part of an effort to separate it from his presidency--though by putting his assets in a trust, he's really just parking his holdings rather than divesting from them. And because he knows exactly what assets are in the trust, it's anything but blind.

A month later, Eric seems to acknowledge this dilemma. One minute, he promises to never talk about the business with his father while he serves in the White House. Less than two minutes later, he says he will update his father on the company's financials "probably quarterly."

He also claims that the business is following through on its plan to hand over profits at its hotels from foreign dignitaries to the U.S. Treasury, even though the Trump business partner in Las Vegas says there is no such thing happening at their hotel. The pledge was intended to resolve concerns that the president would violate the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, a barely litigated section of America's founding document that prohibits federal officials from receiving "any present, emolument, office, or title, of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state." A group of legal scholars and bipartisan ethics experts have begun the lengthy process of suing Trump. "He has all of the conflicts of interest that he had before," says Richard Painter, the former chief ethics lawyer for George W. Bush, who is one of the lawyers facing off against him in the suit.

Some of Trump's foreign partners are already finding themselves politically popular in their home countries. The Philippines' strongman president, Rodrigo Duterte, appointed Trump partner Jose Antonio to serve as a special envoy to the United States just before Trump's November victory. In India, billionaire Mangal Lodha is developing a 75-story Trump building while serving as a regional vice president of a major political party. Indonesia's Tanoesoedibjo is building up a following as he mulls a presidential run.

"We have incredible relationships with the people we do projects with," Eric Trump says. "You want somebody who trusts you. You want to be able to trust them."

FOR ALL THE CLUMSINESS around how detached the president is from his business, from a management perspective, little has changed for the foreign partners. Although 85% of Donald Trump's $3.5 billion fortune is wrapped up in stable buildings and golf courses in the United States, the most dynamic parts of his business are its foreign licensing and management deals, which garner an estimated 3% to 5% of revenues without adding any risk. And Eric and Donald Jr. have for years served as deal scouts, logging hundreds of thousands of miles to find and close foreign partnerships. "He gives his sons a lot of autonomy to make the company's decisions," says Paulo Figueiredo Filho, who partnered with the Trumps in Brazil. "They were already conducting 90% of the business, even before the presidency."

The Trump fils took an informal approach to vetting potential partners, relying, like their dad, as much on gut as numbers and analyses. "We're a little bit of an insular company in that the vast majority of this stuff, we just do ourselves," Eric says. "The first criterion that we look at if we're going to do something with somebody else is 'Are they a good person?' ... That's the way it has to work. If you're looking at documents, if you're looking at contracts, something is deeply wrong."

Read More: Full Coverage of FORBES' Billionaires 2017

The brand attracts a certain type of partner--flashy and ambitious. In the Philippines, Jose and Robbie Antonio also designed a beachclub with Paris Hilton. Dubai's Hussain Sajwani has forged a $3.7 billion fortune selling real estate and tossing in extravagant add-ons, including BMWs and Lamborghinis. In Russia, Emin Agalarov works alongside his billionaire father, Aras, on real estate projects, while also moonlighting as a pop star (Trump once made a cameo in one of his music videos). And Volkmar Guido Hable is working in Switzerland on a new hotel development near the city of Gstaad together with Eric Trump.

These are not the types of businessmen to ignore the fact that they are now tied to the most famous, controversial person in the world. Trump's own organization has shown how to exploit the moment. During the weekend of the inauguration, guests swarmed the Trump hotel in Washington, D.C., paying upwards of $70,000 for a four-night stay. At Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, initiation fees reportedly jumped from $100,000 to $200,000 in January. The property is now worth an estimated $175 million, roughly 15% more than it was six months ago, as its historical significance increases seemingly by the week.

"From a business standpoint, is the presidency beneficial?" Eric Trump says. "You have to look at it both ways. If you're talking about existing assets, they're doing amazing. If you're talking about as a whole, we've made sacrifices in order to allow him--and he's made sacrifices in order to allow him--to take the biggest office in the world."

Read More: Billionaires’ Secrets To Building Wealth

Ditto for his partners. The crew swanning around the inauguration was clearly thrilled, both with the proximity to power and with the opportunities that might afford. Agalarov says he would probably be working on a Trump Tower in Russia if the U.S. real estate mogul hadn't launched his campaign. A different partner in the nation of Georgia says the Trump Organization asked to cancel its deal in order to comply with the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. (It is unclear why the Trump Organization might think its Georgia deal would have caused constitutional issues but not Trump's other active foreign partnerships. A Trump Organization lawyer wouldn't comment.) And just before he entered the White House, Trump said Hussain Sajwani offered him $2 billion for a new deal that the president turned down.

#VolkmarGuidoHable VolkmarHable Volkmar

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