#uo vent
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we're all rooting for you / a version of you that doesn't exist
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Maybe i am a burden afterall with my stupid life and my stupid useless existence ;D
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I have been re reading the manga lately, and every single time I have to skip the entire hospital arc because I get too damned pissed.
Uo, Hana and Yuki are simply annoying and downright selfish, and they dont give a damn thing about Tohru. They all let Tohru believe that Kyo hates her, for the sake of their own anger and for the enjoyment of tormenting Kyo.
They lie about Tohru not wanting to see Kyo. It's not something Tohru said straight. It's just something they have assumed.
They all just assume that Tohru doesn't want to see him because she cries but they also know that she cries because she thinks he dumped her.
As they know she cries because she thinks he dumped her, then
why the hell they dont allow him to clarify the misunderstanding?
Also, Yuki's behaviour is absolutely selfish and totally OOC. He knows better than anyone else that Kyo is the only one who can make Tohru feel better, and instead of facilitating their reunion for her sake, he wants them to be apart so they can all have Tohru for themselves. How could Yuki say something like that about Tohru?
He says he doesnt care about Kyo's feelings, and thats understandable, but truly he doesnt care about Tohru's feelings either. If he did, he would do his best to make Kyo talk to Tohru to clarify the misunderstanding, instead of feeling free to decide who can spend time with Tohru. It makes him sound very much like his own fan club. He should know better.
They all act like they have Tohru's best interest at heart, but the truth is that they are all just mad at Kyo and they all prioritize punishing Kyo over making Tohru happy.
Kyo is at his lowest point and Yuki knows it. He is trying so hard to overcome 18 years of trauma and to do better. Also, he acknowledges he had messed up from the very first moment:
And still, they all keep giving him hard time, mocking him and calling him an idiot, and banning him from seeing Tohru until she gets released, only to indulge their own their anger and their own sense of justice.
And the worst thing is that, in all of this, Tohru is left suffering.
I hate it. I hate it so much. This arc is completely wrong and goes against the FB theme of acceptance, understanding and recognise the mistakes to do better. Takaya must have been drunk when she wrote this. Kyo didnt need to be punished. He had recognised his mistakes and he had already taken steps to do better. Such harsh treatment is totally unnecessary and it's ironic how not even Akito is treated this way, but instead she is accepted and acknowledged as a victim by Uo and Hana themselves.
#I wonder what would Tohru think if she knew how Uo and Hana treated Kyo#I wonder what would Tohru think if she heard that remark Yuki made#this was totally unnecessary#if not even akito is punished why should kyo#I had to vent#fruits basket#furuba#kyo sohma#tohru honda#yuki sohma
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🤧
#bo posting#vent#discord wont load so i have to yell here#ABOUT FISCORD NOT WORKING#the apps fucking ui is one thing#but the fact i have to restart the app multiple times#sometimes uninstall it COMPLETELY#just so it MIGHT load messages?#bullshit#my connection has NEVER been worse#and its not me for once#what the fuck did they do#how do you fuck uo THIS BAD
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Boss makes a buck, I make a dime
So I apply to other jobs on company time
#work reform#ik the first part isn't the original phase#but the wealth disparity is even worse than it used to be#and this has alitterstion and also rhymes#but yeah supervisor decided that all of a sudden I need to me micro managed even tho I'm the best in my area#I've already been fed up but with no car and no degree my options are limited#yesterday was just super bad#and i ended up venting a bit to the cashier at nearby petstore#cause she's retail she understands the woes#she mentioned they're hiring#I remember looking uo wages prior and they weren't the best#and so I brought it up#but she was like 'yeah our minimums 15 :(v#well fuck me because I get paid FOURTEEN AN HOUR#so that's still a fucking raise#and instead of working for a dying clothing store#I at least get to work for animals
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I am NOT shaming anyone for this because doing it at all is a huge undertaking but the animation snob demon in my head is eating my brain and I have to say it or else I die. But it's always a bit obvious when an artist decides to create an animatic while being entirely unfamiliar with the principles of sequential art.
And I hate that I care about this. Why does it matter if an otherwise very good animatic made out of love for a story looks like a slide show. Why do I have to be this pretentious and picky. The art is beautiful. The editing is perfectly serviceable. Why can't I just appreciate something for what it's trying to do and how do I stop immediately noticing every flaw in everything I look at.
#FUCK YOUUUU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LITTLE BITCH BRAIN THAT KEEPS WANTING TO UNDERMINE EVERYTHING I LOVE#JUST LET ME LIKE THINGS#NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A MASTERPIECE CATERED TO YOU AND YOU ALONE#AND IT ALSO FUCKS UO OUR PERCEPTION OF OUR OWN WORK#WE DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT#WE DON'T HAVE TO REWRITE AND REDRAW SHIT 1000 TIMES TRTING TO DO IT EXACTLY HOW IT LOOKS IN OUR HEAD#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU A MILLION TIMES#vent#sorry. my standards are too high. i need to exercise understanding and patience
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Her: "I had no energy to talk" (no sorry, not even once during the past four months)
Me: "Ah okay I understand I get that way sometimes"
Her: "But I talk to my other friends like all the time"
...
I wish I didn't know, it only made everything worse. I wish I could just forget and move on. I wish I didn't care. I wish she'd see me as a friend too. What even am I to her? I wish I could say I'm the therapy friend but I'm just the therapy something. It's not like she's any friend, she's been my closest friend... And it's not just about talking. She doesn't ask about anything about me. Everything's just been about her, and I was there for her, of course. She's going through so much. I just wish she'd ask me at least once about how I'm doing.
#personal#like very personal I'm sorry for being so random#it's just that I have this friend that's been making me feel insane#I can't even bring anything uo because she wouldn't take it well at all#like getting defensive or being arrogant again#vent#venting
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sorry i feel like my brain is kind of untethered to the rest of me
like im thinking from above
#also everything has been so exhausting and my binge eating finally caught uo to me so i can't look at myself in the mirror and#i dont fit half my clothes and my rooms a fucking mess and i literally eat 7000+ calories a day cause i cant stop myself and#i smoke too much and im genuinely doing something wrong with ny hands and#well#at least ive been sober two days#but still#how tf do i suppress my appetite at this point i can't stop myself from going to The fridge/ordering food whenever i think about it#and im too fucking dumb to just#eat normally#and i wish i would kill myself or just hurt myself#but even thinking about it is too exhausting#im just. so physically tired#i dont ever want to gwt out of bed#i just want to sleep#sorry#i guess im doing worse than i thouhgt#time to go smoke and gonto sleep hopefully#vent
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going to cry because i am worried i won't finish all the crochet gifts in time :''")
#okay wait time to decide on a vent tag sjdkskl UHHHHH#can i just... tag it with ... ''vent //'' or is that annoying to add to a the tumblr filtering system fhdkdl#thats how old school tumblr cw/tw tagging worked fjdkl they'd just put slashes in so thats what im used to#vent //#we'll go with that ig? lmk if that doesnt work for anybody for any reason and u want smth else and I'll accomodate!!!#okay. um. anyways yeah idk fjdkdl i have been crocheting pretty much all day? i havent done anything else other than eat meals fjdksl#just... crocheting. my wrist hurts sm fjfkdl#i would still be crocheting but after messing up three times on this wing and frogging it all the way back i gave uo#up*#decided to just call it a night bc damn thats frustrating! idk what i was doing wrong but i kept ending up w the wrong amount of stitches!!#i think theres a possibility i can finish everything but im rly not sure fhdkdl tomorrow is already the 17th#im just. afraid fhdkdl i rly want this to work out !!! agh!!#I cant tell if my current chest pain is from anxiety or from medication (which i take for heart pounding from anxiety) wearing off djdkdl#ough. uncomfortable. I'll go draw and hopefully i can calm down bc im just sbdhdkl so afraid rn#IT ALSO DOESNT HELP that im the only one besides Kam in the system who knows how to crochet well fsbdhdkl#so the others cannot take over bc they cannot crochet either at all or as fast as i can :') i am stuck! in front!! AGGHH#i want a break man djsksl this season is so bad for me mentally fbjfdkl but by god i am getting thru it#okay off to go draw now fhdksl i have several ideas for drawing yay
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I'm gonna bury the version of me that you killed / I have to move on even if you won't let me
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vent;;
having a lot of health issues yet having nothing diagnosable show up on tests is very frustrating. on the one hand i’m vv glad that i’m healthy & that nothing is wrong, but on another hand my body is falling apart and i don’t know why. and no one will help me or listen to me bc doctors say there’s nothing wrong :/
#— vent#{{ woke up today and }}#{{ couldnt move }}#{{ bending my knees & trying to hold things hurts so bad }}#{{ joint & bone pain is normal for me but today it was HORRIBLE }}#{{ ik my ARNA showed uo high on tests but im too young to test for any kind of arthritis or joint issues }}#{{up**}}#{{ so im just }}#{{ hh… }}#{{ & all of my bodily systems fail me all the time but when i go to the doctor everything’s okay }}#{{ idk }}#{{ just wish i knew wtf was going on i hate this }}
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Me: gets angry and speak my mind because fuck being nice and not saying anything, justified anger or not
My body: and now we're gonna give you a case of the full body shiver and stomach curl of stress and anxiety for being the worse person alive
#I hate my body I hate it I hate it#If I was too harsh I ll apologize tomorrow because rn im too emotional to do it properly#but gods I hate that im so used to bottling uo everything and not allow myself to be upset till im breaking that i feel physically sick#argggg#vent#personal#I dont care if Im the bad guy here fuck it#everything fucking SUCKs and I'm fucking TIRED#so what if i m a fucking mean bitch huh#fuck this I dont wanna be nice anymore I dont wanna fucking keep bottling up everything because what if other feels sad#yeah well I feel sad too godamnit#ignore me I'm fine I just need to sleep and step away from the situation and cool down and apologize once I do
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'im doing great!!!' <- had to read through old messages from their [????] to remind themselves that was a legitimate thing that happened and not just a delusion
#tw for tags- allusions to kidnapping and abuse and grooming and various sentiments around that. a vent.#genuinely had myself questioning if it actually occurred or if it was all in my head like the recurring kidnap Thoughts#i dont honestly remember much that occured around that time so#retraumatise urself a little to remind yourself how fucked up that was#i put ??? because i honestly. dont know what to call him. now stalker; then? abuser? groomer?#i honestly struggle w words because i struggle to give myself the grace about what happened.#but i spent some time with [removed because they could see this + Who holds no relevance] and i just. it really clicked here#what the fuck i was a child. i look at them and i see a baby and they remind me so much of myself and i was a child#and they are older than i was!! what the fuck#i struggle to give myself the grace because i know i made a lot of mistakes and i was stupid and i knew better but also what the fuck#sorry syrry. looking at them and thinking who would ever. fucked me up#and then i started questioning if it even happened or if i made it uo#and im deeply upset now rereading all of this and theres more than i remember becuase i went looking to find something with another person#acknowledging it happened and i. i dont remember it and i dont know why i did it and hes still following me and i want him to STOP#i want to feel safe again#i want my actions as a 15 y/o to not be held against me until he dies#im fucked up#but i think i needed to say these things. to put them out into the world. i feel a little better. ill probably delete this later#nyxtalks#jesus this is a swing from my last post sorry guys#ik nobody read this far but i feel the need to say it. this is not the kind of person i want to be online
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#vent#venting#ventish#spencer vents#i fucking act with this#im so sad right now#i cant stand myself or anything i do#and i just. i gave uo on this thing#this thing that i had gping on for so long#and i dont even care anymore#why do i feel like tvis#i ahte this feelign and i want it to go away so badly#why cant i be normal and happy
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*has too much thinking time at work*
Welp
#decided im done with vent blogs#was thinking on it for a while i swesr this was just a oush i needed lol#10% cuz of recent evebrs but the rest is other stuff so#gbai lol#im just switching to more private stuff#if i do end uo liking blogs better itll be a new one
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The duality of 'my mental health is deteriorating, I should stay away from people so it doesn't impact them' vs 'my mental health is deteriorating because I can't talk to people'
#ouroborus ouroborus ouroborus#our most frequent fronters now are delusional or abuser introjects who are struggling#but i feel like i cant trust anyone enough to talk about the fucked uo shit happening in my brain#vent#personal
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