vent post lol

oh i think I'm going to throw myself into a ravine actually

@sorrowmarked || smoochie prompts || hehehehehe[this is cut bc it is SUPER FUCKING long. This is literally the longest thing I've written for you I think]

His team has had a couple of practice matches against the soccer club from Ken's school since they both entered high school, in part thanks to Daisuke's friendship with him. Even without any influence from dark gears or things like that Ken has managed to remain an excellent player with a wide reputation.

Daisuke is unknown, of course. There was no soccer club at his middle school, after all, so he wasn't able to play competitively. He stayed on top of fitness training, even adopting some of the rigorous conditioning routine his sister had used for prep after being scouted by a pro team. Still, with no reputation to boost him he had to earn his place on the main lineup when he entered high school.

...Which he's done, really. He's far exceeded anyone's expectations, especially his own. His drive, his vigor, and his honest love for playing have earned him a lot of strong friendships, and apparently also skyrocketed the morale and motivation of his teammates on more than one occasion. They went from a club thought of as 'not bad, but nothing special' to semifinalists at the prefectural tournament all within the course of his first year. They'd lost to Ken's school, in fact, by a single point shave in the last two minutes of the match.

At his school, first years who join the club via application and not recommendation don't play starting positions in tournament matches(common practice, really). Daisuke still managed to distinguish himself, though. When he was played as a starter in practice matches against Ken's school he was usually placed in a midfield winger position. It gave him some flexibility for movement while relying on the one thing the coach and captain already knew he had, which was stamina.

When their first tournament rolled around, he was put in as a substitute for their attacking midfielder. The position was considered the playmaker, as far as team structure. They were responsible for helping to direct the flow of the team's offensive play, connecting the defensive positions to the forward ones and managing the support for the striker, who was the primary goal scorer(and the position he had played in elementary). For Daisuke, it felt like a test, an opportunity and a show of faith all in one, and so he'd pushed himself past his limits to live up to those expectations.

His fierce, quick, and precise play style coupled with his apparently 'freakish' stamina and adaptability in the position have since earned him a place as its starter as well as the team's vice captain in his second year.

When he was ten or twelve, he'd have been gunning for the striker position. It was flashy and considered the really 'cool' position in most formations.

Now, though, he's stopped caring about looking cool. He wants to play his best, he wants to have fun- and he wants the rest of the team to have those things as well. Realizing that his play sense and his technical skill are best suited to that position when those goals are in mind, he's both content with and proud of his current place.

Ken is a striker. And in their practice matches this season his team has, as usual, come out on top(even if it's usually close).

In the prefectural finals this year, Daisuke's team drags Ken's into a lengthy and brutal double overtime- in the pouring rain, no less. Everyone is exhausted, sore, soaked and filthy. Losing momentum, losing cohesion, desperate for a goal just so things will be over.

...Daisuke, though, ignores it. His burning legs, the sharp pain of his overworked lungs, the chafing of his drenched uniform, the slick ground beneath him and the way the water impedes the ball's movement. He puts himself in a mindset as if he were playing a one on one scrimmage against his sister. She's a professional player on a high ranking team in the highest tier women's league of Japan's professional circuit and has even earned a place on its national team.

If Daisuke's stamina is freakish, then Jun's entire spectrum of skill is on the same level as a natural disaster. The ferocity and lack of hesitation she shows on the field would terrify any normal high schooler, boy or girl, and even a lot of capable players from the men's league.

Which means that even a casual match against her demands ignoring his body's pleas for a break and pushing past its screaming to keep playing at his top form no matter how exhausted he is.

That's the extent he exerts himself to in that double overtime. He's in a state where he barely even registers physical sensation because he's so focused. He barely even registers the directional tips he shouts to the other mid and forward positions, and he doesn't register at all the captain calling for everyone to follow Daisuke's lead.

There's a single thought in his head: keep moving. If he stops or even slows down for just a split second, he knows he'll keep losing steam and he won't get it back. He has to barrel forward no matter what until the game is over. He doesn't pay attention to the faces or numbers of the opposing team. He focuses on keeping the ball in play, keeping his body in motion and staying at least aware of where his teammates are, though he doesn't differentiate between them very well.

When he scoops the ball right out of Ken's grasp, turns sharp, rockets past him, he doesn't know that it's Ken. He doesn't try to close the full distance to the goal either. The moment he sees a small gap in the defense he shoots. For the left corner and with every ounce of strength he has left.

The ball hit's the keeper's open palms- and blasts right through them like they're made of paper, making a loud snap sound and spinning against the net. Daisuke watches it sail in, speechless, and slowly he sinks to his hands and knees, well past being completely spent.

His awareness comes back to him gradually in the several seconds both the players and spectators are left in shock to process the split second reversal and upset of a team that made it to the nationals last year. Even the referees take a few second to declare the clean goal. But once they do, everything erupts around him.

He hears it, registers the shouting and the celebration, the exhausted and frustrated but still impressed acceptance of the other team. And he lets himself laugh breathlessly in relief, still completely unaware that he left Ken dizzily in the dust a few moments ago. Right at that second, he's mostly glad he still pre-medicates with his inhaler before any kind of exercise and keeps it on hand as a rescue. He's going to need it.

His teammates, bless them, have the presence of mind not to jump on him the way they would normally. The captain and Ken make sure he's not injured and help him to his feet, and once he confirms he can walk with some support they help him to the sidelines. The teams shake hands, exchange congratulations. Both for a hard earned victory and a well played match despite a loss. The coaches and officials are able to get the attention of the crowd enough to let the players have some breathing room for a few minutes.

Ken informs Daisuke of exactly what he did in those last few seconds while he digs for his inhaler and then takes a long drink from his water bottle. Daisuke is a little shellshocked by it all now that he's properly registering it, but he's happy all the same. He's helped carry his team to nationals, a first time accomplishment for them.

Moreover, he had the time of his life with this match, even as exhausting as it was. The frail little kid he used to be would never believe he could accomplish something like this.

He makes a note to himself to call Jun with the news- this isn't the kind of thing he should relay via text. She'd just drop everything and call him to yell about it anyway.

There isn't a formal locker room building at this field, but there's covered areas around the benches and a lot of the seating. Daisuke and a lot of his teammates take some time to rinse the mud and sweat off of exposed skin, towel off, change into dry shoes from their cleats, put their warmups on to keep from catching cold.

Everything is so hectic that when he finally shoulders his bag and shambles off the grounds a half hour later he's completely forgotten that Hikari was planning to try and be at the match.

So when he sees her he's not really shocked, but he does sort of stare at her for a few seconds, brainless.

She's been his girlfriend for less than three months. Having her so openly focused on him is still a new experience. In general he's really not used to being anybody's first priority. He still pinches himself sometimes to make sure he's not dreaming when Hikari ducks under one of his arms to curl against his side on the train or in front of the television.

Still, he manages a weary smile, and greets her. "I'm glad you managed to make it out," he says, and his voice is hoarse, "I know you weren't sure you'd be able to see the whole game, or even be here at all."

He lifts his neck towel and wipes some lingering rainwater off of his face.

...She's a little flushed, he notes. Wearing a decent raincoat and carrying an umbrella. She's just a bit damp, where he's still pretty drenched. (the moisture and humidity add just a touch of wisp to her hair though, lift it just a little from its usual straight line. It's cute.)

A half suppressed laugh trickles out of her as she looks up at him. Daisuke's not very tall- he's right around average height- but he's strong, filling out a lot as he nears the end of his growth period, so Hikari looks almost tiny next to him now. (She certainly feels delicate when he hugs her)

Her eyes are shimmering. It's easy to see she's feeling pretty emotional right now, and she still hasn't said anything. Daisuke rifles a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"...Uh...Hikari-chan?" He asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she blurts, beaming, "Sorry. You were just- you were incredible out there. I think you left everyone there starstruck."

"O-oh," he feels himself flush, "Y'think? Those last few minutes I was running on autopilot, so I wasn't really-"

The rest of whatever rambling he was launching into freezes and catches in his throat. If real life came with record scratches or freeze frames, this would be one of those moments.

She's usually the one to kiss him first. He's a little shy, still, not completely confident taking the initiative with affection yet.

But this is- she's never jerked him down by the collar before. Certainly not so suddenly and so sharply that he's actually unbalanced and brought in.

It's a hell of a kiss, to be frank. Firm, held out for so long, her hands moving to his shoulders, pulling herself in as close as she can until he has the presence of mind to lift her at the waist and kiss back.

He's outright dizzy when she finally lets him break away for air, and Hikari is flushed and beaming.

"Uh," he fumbles, "Oh, uh. Okay."

She peppers his face with short, sweet little pecks until he's laughing, and then she hugs him tight.

"I know how hard you worked to get here," She murmurs, "I'm so proud of you. Congratulations, Daisuke."

He tenses just a little in response. Hearing this kind of praise from anyone is always a bit of a tearjerker for him, but from Hikari it's a million times more significant.

"Yeah," He breathes, setting her down and holding his hand out for the umbrella. "...Let's get to the station, though. I want to get somewhere I can change into dry clothes. And then maybe pass out for a couple of hours. I'm beat."

autistic robin evidence

warning: super super long

y’all ready for this

evidence number ONE!!!! raptor hands!!! (this is also a thing i do!!)

ok so theres a rlly good blog called starbutterflyisautistic that shows exactly wht raptor hands are so!! heres a pic of star with raptor hands:

aND NOW HERES ROBIN W RAPTOR HANDS!!!

i have more examples in a post here (i only used th hd examples fr this post)

evidence two!! no gotdam personal space

that last one gets bonus points because hes literally inside cyborgs body (they have to tear apart cyborgs body to get him out)

evvvidence three: difficulty understanding the rules of conversation, difficulty understanding group interactions, difficulty maintaining friendships.

hoo boy this one. robin is, rlly, rlly bad at this. like rlly bad. combined w his poor empathy this puts him in a lot of bad situations like,

...the titans kicking him from the team for working them too hard and having no cares for their problems (the only reason robin became the leader again was because he broke kid flash’s leg). this situation happens twice, actually! theres two whole episodes (well, three since the second one is a two-parter) where kid flash takes over the titans since hs actually treats them well.

this isnt just robin being mean though!!

in one episode he says that he really does love and appreciate his team, he just doesn’t know how to show it at all, which leads to situations like him promising them pizza and then saying they have to pay for it

evidence four (back to th positive stuff!!!!!): special interests and infodumping!!!

...the other titans dont rlly appreciate it.

see, robin doesnt really infodump about idk, movies or games. he infodumps about money planning and public holidays.

this doesnt even happen once, theres several episodes where robin goes on about them while trying to explain them to the other titans and hes absolutely delighted. of course, it always backfires because well, 

the titans think hes more boring than paint drying.

evidence five! oh boy this is a lot of evidence the way he talks

i was debating on whether or not to include this one, since it seems nearly every character on this show yells.... except apparently that isnt really the case.

in the episode jinxed, its shown that robin actually talks. a lot. loudly. so much that the other titans celebrate when he loses his voice (its a little mermaid-esque episode, kinda). dont know if this one exactly counts, but thats how i saw the episode.

evidence six is unusual attachments to objects and comfort objects, which is the plot of an entire episode!!

in the episode staff meeting robin uhh

is really attached to his staff (he straight up calls it his best friend which makes cyborg upset), and gets mad when his friends insult it and his attachment. in the same episode, the staff breaks (thanks to the other titans) and,

robin breaks too. he literally cant fight crime effectively anymore because he cares about his staff that much and pretty much falls into a depression until the titans decide to fix it for him.

EVIDENCE SEVEN!!! perfectionism.

in the episode ‘some of their parts’, robin gets split into his 5 main personality traits. obsessive, paranoid, crazy, controlling... and perfectionist.

 apart from that already glaring piece of evidence, in the episode ‘uncle jokes’ when the titans dont meet the team dynamic they usually do, robin breaks down and starts acting like the other titans to “fix” the dynamic and make everything normal again because he cant handle change (which would fall under controlling as well, maybe???).

evidence eight/nine, and its two i really relate to. sensory issues and samefooding. (samefooding is when you eat the same foods over and over again without eating anything else, and its pretty common w autistic ppl including me)

to start this evidence off, robin literally cannot eat spicy foods. sometimes he cant even be around them.

he gets choked up and instantly has to replace the sensory with something else bc its simply way too much for him to handle, same buddy

and onto samefooding! robins done this twice in the show, in the episode ‘spice game’ (potatoes) and in th episode ‘the avogodo’ (avocados, duh). 

the titans dont like eating potatoes because theyre too bland (see th sensory issues above) and are sick of robin samefooding so much, which leads to them eating spicy foods (which robin understandably hates)

evidence ten (oh boy, two digits) is routines. theres probably a lot of evidence for this in the show and im just forgetful, but at the moment all i can think of is robin’s sleep pattern. in the episode ‘spice game’ (oh boy theres a lot of this episode on this list), he quickly abandons a conversation with the titans at exactly 7:15pm stating that its his bedtime why would he have one theres no adults in the titans tower and in other episodes, he states he needs an exact number of hours of sleep and that he apparently makes sleeping a sport (according to cyborg, at least). this behaviour COULD also count towards evidence seven (perfectionism)

evidence eleven!!!! robin is, really gullible and trusting. and really, really bad at sensing sarcasm at times. when the titans joke around at the idea of him becoming a cat by wishing on a shooting star, he honest to god gets off the couch and starts talking to the sky hoping it’ll work

in a meaner example in the april fools episode (although its implied the whole episode is staged im still including this one) the titans apart from raven somehow manage to trick robin into thinking his parents are alive which isnt too unbelievable for him to think, since hes hallucinated them before, but thats for a completely different overly long headcanon post and gets extremely upset when he finds out the titans were tricking him.

and finally, for evidence number twelve, because if i keep going this list will be way too long, the one you probably all saw coming,

robin stims!!!!

well, i only have two gifs of evidence for this, but he stims!! which i think is the one autistic behavior everyone knows about

in conclusion, i have no idea how to end this post, since this took me literal hours to type which is probably why the tone changes alot, 

but i hope u guys enjoyed me infodumping for way too long about a headcanon i have!!!!!

💖

Remus X Reader- Light Hearted Air

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a imagine where you are pregnant of Remus and you don't dare to tell him bc you are afraid he wil leave you but he is super happy. Thanks I love your work you inspire me. <3

First off, Anon, thank you so much! Your message was really sweet. I'm really excited to write this for you, I hope you enjoy! I hope I did Remus justice, it’s my first time writing him.

A breeze lightly rattles the window. The same breeze gently shaking the foliage covered branches. Birds bask in the rising sun trying to warm themselves from the previous night's chill.

A small content sigh escapes you. Turning back over, greeted by the peaceful face of your boyfriend, Remus. You'd moved in together after three years of dating, the day he asked you to move in with him had been one of the best you'd ever had. Glancing back at the window you decide it's too early to start the day and slowly try and cuddle back up to Remus.

Just as sleep was beginning to overtake you again the warmth enveloping you began to stir. Cracking open an eye you peek up at the stirring man. His eyes flutter open, the peaceful look briefly leaving his eyes were attacked by the now blinding sun peering through the glass window panes. His arms wrap back around you as he pulls you closer. A tired groan leaves the man currently burying his face in your hair.

"Come on, Rem, we should probably get up." You suggest pulling out of the embrace and pushing the duvet aside. Leaving the comfort of your bed, Remus following suite. Eventually, you made it to the kitchen and pull down a book of cereal from atop the fridge. After making yourself a bowl you plop down at the table and dig in. About five minutes into your bowl Remus casually saunters back in completely ready for the day ahead.

"Going somewhere?"  Curious as to why he was prepared to go somewhere on a Sunday, a day the two of you usually spend inside together, you decided to ask.

"There are a few things I need to grab before we go to the order on Thursday." Before he walks past he plants a swift kiss on your cheek, a quick 'I love you' and then he was out the door. A few minutes pass and your thoughts start to swirl around in your head. One particular one planted itself in the front of your mind. That one thought, the baby now growing inside of you.

You found out that you were pregnant a week prior. There was just one catch, you haven't told Remus yet. It's not that you're ashamed of yourself or that you were unhappy about the news. You're just worried that Remus might not share the same view. For the past week, you've been trying to figure out how to tell him or even if you would. You had a few ideas as to what may be the best way to tell him, but you wanted an outside opinion.

If there was one person who knew a lot about telling someone they were pregnant, it was Molly Weasley. She's had seven kids, this makes her an expert in your eyes. A good hour of your morning was spent trying to find the right way to ask her.

By noon a letter had been sent off. You really don't like keeping anything from Remus, you had always said that you would be 100% open with each other. It almost felt like you were lying in a way. Again your thoughts slip back to the overwhelming presence of the growing baby.

No longer wanted to dwell on it, you head to the living room and pull a book from the mahogany shelf. Nestling up on the couch you get comfortable and dive into the pages of the book. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few hours had passed and you'd lost yourself in the pages. So absorbed in your book you didn't even notice Remus had returned until you felt a hand brush some of your hair out of your face. Jumping at the sudden touch you lose your page. Snapping your head in the direction of the contact, your eyes land on the now amused man, all panic flees your body.

"You scared the shit out of me." Playfully slap his shoulder. "Well, I called out to you a few times but you never responded," As he spoke he dug around in his pockets. With a brief pause, he continued to speak as he pulled something from said pockets. "Here I bought you something while I was out." Finishing his sentence he hands you a chocolate bar, his and your favorite kind. A smile spreads your face and you lean in and the two of you share a loving kiss. Once you break apart you glance over at the clock on the wall,  7 p.m. "Did you eat while you were out? Because I have not eaten yet and I want tacos. You in?" Sliding your arms around Remus's neck you rest your head on his shoulder. There was a brief, peaceful silence before Remus answered. "If you're making them, I'm all for it." After another quick kiss, you head to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After the pair of you finished dinner you both decided to curl up with a good book for an hour or two. You ended up falling asleep on Remus while reading, he picked you up bridal style and started carrying you back to your shared bedroom. As gentle as he was being the movement woke you up. He didn't seem to notice you stirring. Looking up at your lover you feel an overwhelming feeling of love and protection. Closing your eyes again you let him settle down in the bed with you in his arms and let sleep's grasp take hold. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A gentle hand running through your hair lulled you out of your sleep. Your eyes flutter open and peer into the hand owner's green ones. A soft smile spreads works it's way across your face matching his. The details of the upcoming day slowly creep into your mind and small groan of annoyance left you as you remembered you had plans with an old friend, Tonks, in about three hours. This pulls you out of bed to start the day.

You go through the motions of your normal routine, kiss Remus goodbye and head out to start your day. You and Tonks had been friends since your first year at Hogwarts, the plans you two had made took away any thought of your growing problem. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Currently sitting at home reading, Remus is pulled from his book as he hears a soft pecking from the window across the room. Looking up he sees (Y/N's) owl carrying a few letters and pecking at the window to try and get in. Crossing the floor he unlatches the black metal latch and pushes the window open. Greeting the bird with a good head scratch, he takes the letters and shuts the window. Shuffling through the letters he sees one from Molly. He flipped the letter in his hands, no name. Curious, he opened the letter and began reading. '...The best thing is to be honest and up front. We all have these worries when we find out, I'm sure he'll be happy. I highly doubt he would leave you over such a thing, he loves you and is a good man. Just tell him.         -Best of Luck,                                  Molly' He was puzzled, nowhere in the letter did it mention what exactly you were trying to tell him. Possibilities swamped his mind, there were so many he didn't want to assume the wrong one. He knew that you'll tell him when the time is right. He thought back to see if he could find any recollection of you seeming unhappy with him or the relationship, he failed to find any signs. No longer wanting to dwell on what may be nothing, he continues to read the rest of his letters and then back to his book. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yes, see you soon, Tonks. I had a great time. Take care." Bidding your friend farewell you walk into your shared flat, a smile stretched from ear to ear. "Rem! I'm home!" Kicking off your shoes you walk into the living room. Remus sitting on the couch, asleep with a book over his face. You let out a small laugh walk over to him and remove the book covering his face. Walking over to the bookshelf, a pile of letters sitting on a nearby coffee table caught my attention. Picking them up I shift through the letters to see if any were mine. Tonks, Harry, Moody, and Molly. All normal letters, shuffling back through you notice that one looked as though it had already been opened. Examining the envelope, all that it said was that it was from Molly. When I found it in my pile I assumed it had been addressed to me, I mean I knew that I wrote to her yesterday, but Remus didn't so it was logical for him to open it and see if it was for one or both of us. Remembering what the letter I sent yesterday had entailed my blood ran cold. 'Wait, did Rem read the whole letter? Does he know? Is he upset?' Those and a million more thought swarm your head, in the midst of your mini freak out, Remus had woken up and was now just sitting and watching you. Taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself, you turn to start heading towards the kitchen. Your eyes fall on the now awake Remus, the undetected change in the environment startled you, a sharp exhale was all that was heard for a good 30 seconds. "God, Rem, you've got to stop scaring me like that!" You laugh from both nerve and being scared by your boyfriend sitting up. Looking back at the letters in your hand you decide it's better now than never, he may already know somethings up.

"Rem, um, I, uh, need to tell you... something." It sounded a lot more confident in your head, but came out was an awkward string of words. "Yes, Love, what is it?" He looks at you expectantly, but no trace of anger. 'Confidence: Boosted! I can do this, I can do this.' "Remus," You take another deep breath "I'm," another pause. You look him directly in the eye, knowing that if you were going to do this you might as well be as confident as you could, there was no going back now. "I'm pregnant." You finally managed to get the words out. The second those words left your mouth your eyes shot to the floor and your teeth were on your lip, you prepared for the worst.

The silence was taking over an indistinguishable emotion hung in the air. Remus is just sitting there. After a few seconds, a look of realization hit his face, but your eyes are still on the floor. "You are?" He needs to be sure he heard you correctly. "Yes, I'm pregnant." Tears started to prick at the corner of your eyes, taking his original silence as him being upset.

Within the next few seconds, arms were around your waist and your feet off the ground. Blinking in shock you realize Remus was spinning you around. "You're serious?" A broad smile on his handsome face. "Huh? Well, yeah. You aren't upset?" You didn't believe your eyes at first. "Why in the world would I be? I love you and I love this baby." He kisses you passionately his hand on your waist, yours in his hair. Breaking away your foreheads pressed together. "How long have you known?" A look of pure happiness on his face. "Um, only a little over a week now." "Are we going to tell the order?" "Well, I, sure. I mean, should we?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The whole order was gathered at the Weasley's home for a get-together. You and the rest of the order were currently all sitting down for a meal, Remus to your right, Molly to your left. Turning to Molly you pull her closer. "Do you mind if Remus and I make an announcement?" You whispered into the red-heads ear. "If it's what I think it is that go right on ahead, Dear." Sharing a look you both smile. Turning to Remus you give him a curt nod.

Remus clears his throat and quickly glances at you. You smile at him. "If you don't mind (Y/N) and I have some news we'd like to share with you." It took a little bit but all of the eyes in the room made their way to the two, no, three of you. Smiling at Remus you decide to speak up. "We're having a baby! We wanted to tell all of you because you're like family to us and hope that you will continue to be."

A light air overtook the atmosphere. In a time of such tension, moments like these were what everyone yearned for. And this moment would only create more to come.