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wiselyghost · 1 year

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⁂Ghost as a dad⁂

Authors note: l had seen a couple of people posting on there blog about there not being a lot of ghost as a dad or some other characters so l thought l could help out otherwise l hope you guys enjoy! also this isn’t about reader this is just if he had a s/o but you can use your imagination <3

warnings: suggestive, Fluff, just ghost trying to be a good dad

He really thought that he couldn’t be able to have s/o and rise a family with the line of work he has and what he has been though.

That all changed when s/o showed up and their bundles of joy appeared years later

I feel like he wouldn’t care for the gender but had little hopes for a baby boy but he was still happy either way

His s/o was the first to mention about raising a family and he was scared shitless after they mention that

His backstory explains how he didn’t have the greatest relationship with his family especially with his dad to

He was going to give his kids the best dad they deserve the one Ghost never had :/

Not a huge family guy prob only wants one or two then that's it

Knows it was going to be a rough 9 months and even harder when he was away on missions and won’t be able to take care of his s/o but knows she is tough and can handle herself. He won’t complain about first steps of making a baby though😩

When in labor he is with his s/o every step of the way holding her hand, brushing her hair out of her face, and kissing her crown whispering soft spoken praises of how well she is doing and how proud he is

S/o fell asleep a few minutes after the birth so she rested while Ghost held his son first (I HC if he had kids he would have a son first then a daughter so that's what am going with)

ghost’s hand almost broke from his s/o holding his hand he knew she was strong but gawd DAWM

Ghost was in awe

He made this

we made this he thought as he looked at his beautiful s/o sleeping peacefully

a Tiny warm tear rolled down his cheek when he held his son he would never admittee that though

soap is the godfather

One night the baby would not stop crying until Simone held him then he just decided to bring him to bed with him and s/o

He took a photo of that night when his s/o cuddle up with their son and put it in his pocket when ever he went to work to remined himself that now he doesn’t only do this for his country or his team but for his family to

He does everything to keep his line of work away from his family so he barely mentions about work when he comes back home his s/o knows it's for the best

One day Simone got a little horny one day when he back from a rough misson and was missing his s/o badly

S/o was cooking dinner until he showed up hugging her from behind and dry humping her slowly

When things were getting more heated they hear a shuffle noise near the island table and saw a little confused boy

Little Bro standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️

"What are you guys doing?"

.......

Wrestling

When their son was around 6 s/o and ghost had another kid and this time it was a beautiful babby girl

Ghost played dressed up with his daughter a couple of times

When Ghost comes back from a longgg mission he would surprised his kids at school cutest thing ever when their little legs run towards him

Sometimes Simone does this thing where they have a moive night every Saturday if he is home and watch a moive

Simone's daughter wants to watch a horror moive and his son wants to watch a comedy so he chose a Disney moive "Bambi" to be precised

(Spoiler!) Ghost almost cried the first time he watched that moive when the mom died

Weekend moives always end with them all sleeping on the couch snuggle up

S/o catch them doing this when she came back from the store at night and took photos of them :')

When the kids are older Simone will teach them self defense and how to use a gun he doesn't want them to do the same job he has but he doesn't want them to get hurt either

The son would look just like his dad but has his mother's eyes and the daughter would look like her mom but acts like ghost and she has his nose

Ghost Would give the death stare at any boy who looks at his little girl

Overall he would be a good dad just would take a while to let him think about it and let it sink in

His s/o would always be patient with him though and it was worth it in the end

Hey guys wisely here again l hope you liked this thought it would be really cute to post. I do request right now so if you guys want to request just comment below and l will respond when ever l can! Love you all and have a wonderful, night/morning/day!!!

:) <3

Yours truly, wisely ghost

#ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #ghost headcanons #mw2 #ghost cod

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clownboymcchucklefuck · 10 months

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I got a bit feral about Simon, read at your own risk 💀

No you really don't understand- I so desperately want to see Simon pathetic. Not in a "oh shy boy type way" I want to see this mf OBSESSED. I WANT HIM UNHIGNED. I want that mother fucker blushing and drooling like some shit that Kylar from DoL would do. I need him whiny and desprate for any type of attention. I need that bitch to stalk me because gahd dawm I have a thing for stalkers that I never knew I had until this salad head showed up in my life and said hello. He's probably the type that writes jouenal entries about you, if he talks to the plant bout you then you bet I'm running to that notebook like I'm the fucking flash. Am I saying all this because I was looking at the itchio page for Colored Gaze and was reminded of the unhealthy obsession warning and really got to thinking of a obsessed Simon? Maybe. BUT HEAR ME OUT BRO-

#DONT PERCIVE ME #YOU NEVER SAW THIS #I NEED HIM UNHIGNED SO BADLY #yandere vn #yandere visual novel #yandere #male yandere #coloredgaze #visual novel #yandere male #colored gaze #coloredgazevn #clrdgazevn #coloredgazesimon

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nerdygirlwithanxiety · 3 months

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Name; William Grossman

Age; 16-18 (origins), 19-early 20s (v1-underworld arc),

Hair color; blond

Eye color; Ocean Blue

Emblem; a finch inside of a cage

Aura; Blue

Semblance; ~unknown~

Current goal; trying to find an escape from LJ and the underworld (on going)

Weapon; butcher knife ( temporary before Isaac shattered the blade to prove a point), blessed katana he took from an exterminator angel that was murder for an unknown reason

Story inspiration; ~unknown for now~

Headcannon voice; ~ unknown will update this when I find a proper voice~

Theme song; Back to school by Mother mother/ Vandalized by OK One Rock (his character trailer/short)

Height; 5"7

Team; DAWM (disbanded)

Team Partner; Anthony Kurosaki

Love intrest; Anthony Kurosaki, Theliel

Rival; Mercury (formally during high school arc), Isaac Grossman

Personality; Will is a high-spirited male with a strong attitude. Just like Anthony, he acts dumb to hide his high intelligence. This could be because some years ago, during a demon summoning to record and prove some myths, he may have summoned a certain clown by accident Because of this both him and one other person was haunted by two different separate entities this lasted until the ending fo their junior year in high school when a fire accident happened which lead LJ to 'save' will only to lead some disturbing abuse like SA and brainwashing and drugs and alchohol abuse. Thankfully, this didn't last very long, but like most things, when one thing happens, another bad happens, which would be the extermination. The holy kataba was what helped him survive the monsters. As long as he did, he discovered the katana, maybe a key to getting him out and finding a certain male, hoping he's alive.

Family; Jackson Grossman (father), Marilyn Grossman (Mother), Chupper (Familar), Anthony (childhood friend), Duncan (childhood friend), Mercury (childhood friend temporary rival),

Allies; Frankie (one of his mentors), Theliel (girlfriend/mentor teaching him how to use the katana), Anthony Kurosaki, Duncan Yume, Mercury Black, Rebellion

Enemies; Isaac Grossman, Rosalyn Kurosaki, Laughing Jack, the crooked man (his second personality when LJ brainwashed him using him as a puppet), Zalgo, Slender, those who opposed humanity and plans to destroy it.

#will grossman #creeps comic #william grossman

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artwithoutblood · 1 year

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(I just realized I used the wrong pronouns for Aeron im so sorry I didn't realize they were non-binary until I was looking through their tag)

I have decided that Aeron isn't that scary anymore purely because I saw the toxic to least toxic and they were low on the list so now like them <3

Would they give me some fashion tips cause gahd dawm they literally have the style I strive to have

they use they/he prounouns! they lean more into they but they don't mind he! i appreciate you looking out for it, but don't worry so much.

aeron is scary but they're also a little silly goofy. they love you!!!

and they're more than willing to dress you up and give you tips and do your hair!

#aeron ask

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mangowa · 7 years

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his line was the only intelligent line in the whole game you idiots

#turns out doing a dumb comic actually works #my art #until dawm #josh washington #mike munroe #chris ud

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theazkapack · 3 years

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Discoveries

Glawn makes an unsettling discovery while exploring the edges of the pack territory

Content Warning: Mentions of dead baby animal.

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When Glawn manages to get out of her den, the sun is fast approaching midday, it’s unforgiving rays pelting her coat with its warmth, as she stretches and yawns widely. She had gotten back home late last night, and had woken up late, it seemed, as she peered around in search of any of her packmates.

The den was without a single soul, although it wasn’t that unusual. Everyone mostly met at dusk and at dawm, spending most of their free time exploring and hunting for supplies, enjoying the Summer while it lasted. Ashlen barely spend any time inside, all of their waking hours spent scouring the territory, always on edge. Glawn didn’t quite understand why, after all, their territory was mostly secluded, up in the mountains, far away from any clearing or thick forest with prey, nobody would want to be here.

Not feeling particularly hungry, Glawn set off to scout, following the same ritual she had been following since she had arrived at this wilderness, with no humans in sight, the instructions Ashlen had given her still clear as if it was yesterday when it was said.

Follow the river down the mountain, until you brushed against the edges of the grasslands below, had Ashlen said, as they laid together on the floor, back against back, muzzle against muzzle, and then simply follow the edge, stepping between the forest and the valley, before coming back through the mountains, see what lays beyond, what is around. That, is the job of a scout.

Of course, she now sometimes strayed more far, letting the wind guide her into stranger places with even stranger animals, the likes she didn’t remember seeing before. But it was a good change, she had decided long ago, it was a good change despite everything. She jumped between the rocks, claws providing grip against the slippery surface of rocks covered with moss, following the small stream that was near the den and that flowed down to the main river that led into the grasslands.

She paused after a few hours, laying down across a fallen log, the moss tickling her fur as she closed her eyes and took a small break. She felt some apetite, but not enough to want to eat, since the pack had fed on a carcass barely a few days ago, Shivo had been so proud, carrying the ram back home all alone.

He had improved greatly since the start of summer, all of Ashlen’s lessons finally showing results. The first tie he had finally managed to kill something bigger than a porcupine, the whole pack had celebrated, the bashful wolf showered in praise. And it was no small feat, considering that a season ago Shivo barely had been able to stalk a bird. Ashlen had crowned him an official hunter of the pack, going off about... something, Glawn couldn’t quite remember honestly. Something about wild packs? And worth? It was all blurry, she had been more preocupied with stuffing her mouth full of ram than listening Ashlen ramble about wild packs.

It was nice, how worried Ashlen was about trying to teach the pack about living in the wild. They worried immensely about the pack, constantly offering tips and suggestions, even despite half the pack barely managing to understand them. It... It was nice, Glawn decided, standing up to continue on with the scouting, it was really nice.

It is by now late afternoon, and she decides to check out only the next sector before going back home, still tired despite how much she slept. She is now approaching the place where the stream connected to the river and then diverted south, one of the last places before the mountain started levelling down and connected to the grassland. Slowing down, Glawn sniffs the air, ears standing up as she checks if anything is nearby. This place is more filled with animals, thanks to the abundance of water, and she doesn’t want to find herself face to face with a wolverine or a bear.

The coast is mostly clear, although there is a sickly sweet scent in the air. Confused, Glawn follows the track, carefully stepping around the moss covered floor, until she finds herself at the feet of a giant tree. The smell is stronger, and it is with a startle that she recognizes, finally, the scent of meat rotting. She circles around the tree, hoping to find the carcass, but it is fruitless, nothing to be found besides piles of dead twigs and leaves.

It smells like sickness, rotten meat left to the bugs, and strangely, of fur. It... It smells of wolf.

But how? It doesn’t smell like anyone in the pack, and when she looks around in the floor, she cannot find any tracks indicating where the strangers could have gone. Glawn frowns, and sniffs deeper, ignoring how the smell almost burns her nose with the intensity. There! Scratching at the dead leaves, she empties a small mound and stops, freezing in her tracks at the sight.

There is a dead pup half buried in the dirt.

She hesitates, and looks up, as if she would be now ambushed by some wolf, but the place is empty, only the sound of the rushing water filling the silence. The pup is small, very much so, fur decaying already, the scent of sickness so clear it makes her mind spin. It cannot be older than a few days, half saved from rotting faster thanks to the shade the dirt offered, but why is it here? Why is there a dead pup in their territory? She passed less than a few days ago by, and there hadn’t been any signal that this could have happened.

She buries the wolf pup again, a half stuck whine in her throat as she covers the innocent pup laying in the dirt. A pack was here, must have been here recently, and had left the pup half buried in their haste. It raised the hair on her tail the thought of a pack, having been so close to their den, without having any clue about it. It made her feel vulnerable, a hollowing and cold feeling in her chest.

She... She needed to tell Ashlen about this.

Glawn turned tail and ran back, tail tucked between her legs, jumping over the logs, paws hitting against the forest floor as she ran as fast as she could back home.

This was bad.

#Wolvden #wolvblr #Snippets from Azka #Azka Lore #glawn #glawn: this is fucked up im outta here

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andersunmenschlich · 3 years

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Genesis 1

In the beginning, we’re told, there was gods.

Yes, gods. Don’t like it? Take issue with the original: “אֱלהִים” wasn’t my idea. Stupid idea, if you ask me, pluralizing “אֱלוֹהַּ.” Did I ask the original writers of this book to do that? No. It was all their brilliant idea. Why did they think this was a good idea? I don’t know! Do I look like a necro-telepath to you?

Anyhow. In the beginning, there was gods. And gods went right ahead and created the ground and the space above the ground. Also there was a lot of water. And things were dark, because there wasn’t any light.

Also the spirit (or wind or breath or mind or…) of gods was hovering over the water, which I guess is to give us an idea of where they were in all this.

So we’ve got some ground, and some water, and some space, and a gods.

Then gods goes ahead and speaks light into existence. That’s right: they “hey, Siri”d light into existence, except without Siri because they’re gods and whatever they command just plain happens. Poof, light. Nothing emitting it. Nowhere for it to come from. But hey—there’s light. Completely and utterly sourceless. Don’t ask me how that works, because I have no idea. So far as I know it’s actually impossible. But here we are. Gods, right?

Next gods takes a look at the light and decides it’s all right. So they divide it from the darkness, which… apparently didn’t happen automatically. Strange, you’d think it would. How could light not be divided from darkness?

If you’ve got photons, you haven’t got an absence of photons. Got an absence of photons? Boy, do I have news for you: you haven’t got any photons!

But somehow light (the presence of photons) was indistinguishable from darkness (the absence of photons) until gods separated the two. How is this possible? I don’t know! This makes no sense whatsoever! Ahahaha! Gods, amiright?

Anyway.

Gods’s next move is to call the light “day” and the darkness “night.”

Oh, so we’re talking about some generalized light and darkness here, not “I lit a candle so now it’s day in my room” stuff… right? Right?

Note that there’s still no source for the light. “The sun is shining on this part of the planet, so it’s day here” is not a thing. Day is completely independent of the sun. The light fades out—evening—and fades back in—morning—and here we are, the first day. With no sun. Just light. Coming from… nowhere. Gods, man. They make no sense. Presumably there was a night in between that evening and morning somewhere, but who knows?

[cough]

So. Gods’s next move, on this first day of all days, is to create a firmament.

What the heck is a firmament.

“רָקִיעַ,” as it turns out, is an “extended surface.” So that’s what a firmament is: it’s a solid, flat, long and wide thing that’s useful as a base or a support. All right. Fine.

Where does gods put this firmament? Uh… in the water. Dividing it. So there’s some water below this firm, extended surface, and some water above it. And gods calls this thing “sky,” which is… interesting, because I’m pretty sure no airplanes or rockets or what-have-you have ever run into a firm, extended surface anywhere up there in the sky, and there’s no water outside the atmosphere, so—

No, no, don’t stone me.

If the Bible says the sky is a solid thing with water above it, well. Who am I to question the Bible, right? I’m sure there wouldn’t be any misinformation in here. The Bible is a great source of scientific knowledge, or so I’ve been repeatedly told.

Maybe there was an OS update later, or something. “Remove solid sky.” Who knows? Gods move in mysterious ways.

So. Speaking the sky into existence in the midst of the waters so as to put some water above it and some water below it takes up the whole of the first day! The completely sourceless light fades out, then back in again, starting up the second sunless day. Was there a night in there? Who knows! It’s not mentioned! You’d think we could assume, but—gods! Gods be weird, man. They might just be skipping it.

Second day, gods talks the water under the sky into bunching up into one spot so as to clear some dry land. You’d think this would result in a big pile of water towering over the land, but—gods! Maybe it was like that. Maybe it wasn’t. We don’t know.

Anyway, gods names the gathered-together water “sea” and the dry land “earth.”

Gods checks out what they’ve got so far, and decides it’s good.

This doesn’t take all day, by the way! They’ve still got time, so next they tell “earth” to sprout some plants: stuff that produces seeds and stuff that produces fruit that’s got seeds in it and stuff that produces fruit that is a seed. So… potatoes? Strawberries? Almond trees? Sunflowers? That kind of thing, I guess.

And earth sprouts the stuff. Pretty good considering gods never bothered to create any helpful microorganisms. Or a sun. And that they put all the water in existence either on the other side of the sky or in a big heap off to the side somewhere.

Gods, man. I know I keep saying it, but they defy reason, they really do.

So. They check it all out and go, “Yup, that’ll work.” And just in time, too, because the light fades out and back in again, and the third day starts.

Third day, gods figures it’s finally time for some sky decoration.

Why a sun is needed to shed light on the earth during the day when we’ve already had two perfectly well-lit days with no sun at all, gods only knows. The moon and stars make a little more sense, since light’s been completely excluded from the night—but wait, isn’t light day? And doesn’t sticking day into night kind of….

Well, never mind.

The point is, gods speaks a whole lot of lights into existence: a big one, a smaller one, and a lot of really little ones.

The idea is that these will really set the day and night apart from one another all fancy-like, and also they’ll be good for miraculous signs and omens and showing people what day or year or season it is. Super handy.

Now, don’t you get on my case about the sun and moon and stars being set up deliberately for use as signs from on high. This wasn’t my idea. “וְהָי֤וּ לְאֹתֹת֙,” gods says: “let them be for signs, omens, warnings, assurances.” I didn’t write this. Stop glaring at me like I invented the idea of the horoscope.

[sigh]

Well. So. Gods sets all these lights in the firmament. Yes, that’s right—in the firm stretched-out thing dividing the water under itself from the water above itself. Right inside it.

Don’t look at me like that. It’s not me that says this, it’s the Bible.

Incidentally, the sun and moon and stars are all the same type of thing: lights. Every one of them is a luminary—you know, an object that gives off light, a source of light.

Stop looking at me like that.

I’m not the one who says the moon is the same type of thing as the sun, only lesser. Anyway, who are you to say the moon doesn’t produce light? The Bible says it’s the same thing as the sun, just smaller and weaker! Who are you to question the Bible, huh?

So the sun and the moon and all the stars are inside the solid expanse of the sky, which has water above it. I don’t make the rules.

This little job takes all of the third day.

That’s right: commanding things into existence is time-consuming work.

The light fades, presumably taking the sun with it this time, then comes back again (probably bringing the sun with it this time, too), and here we are: the fourth day.

Gods commands the water to produce a whole bunch of living things. Does this include the water above the sky? That is up for debate! The Bible never says. Maybe there are fish above the sky. Maybe there aren’t. We don’t know, because we aren’t told. We could make guesses, or assume, but—gods, over here. Anything is possible.

Gods also commands there to be flying things, to fly above the earth, across the face of the sky.

So over the earth, under (but right up against) the firmament.

And that’s how everything in the sea and everything that flies got created. Right there and then. Fourth day. Gods checks it all out and yup, it’s good. But they’re not done there, oh no. They gotta endow all these creatures with the ability to reproduce. So they do that, and then they’re done, and the day is over.

Evening, morning, fifth day.

Would this be a good time to mention that traditionally, for the people who first believed this book, each new day starts at sunset? Sun sets, one day’s over, the next one’s started. So technically Wednesday night belongs to Thursday.

Yeah, not really important. Just a side note. Fifth day!

On the fifth day, gods tells the earth to sprout living creatures. Yeah, it’s the same word from when the earth sprouted plants. “יָצָא.” Once again, not my idea.

So the earth sprouts mammals and reptiles and bugs and all that.

Gotta emphasize here—this is gods making this stuff. Not the earth. Gods told the earth to do it and the earth did it, but that still counts as gods doing it. Okey-doke? Good. Glad we’re on the same page.

Gods inspects the lot and calls it good.

You ever notice what things gods inspects and what things they don’t? The ground and the space above it and the water—they never inspected that. Never checked it out and saw it was good. The darkness? Nope. Just assumed that one was all right, I guess. The firmament? Once again, free pass.

Anyway, creating every living creature on the land that doesn’t fly takes less time than creating a firmament, so gods goes on to another project.

“Let us make ‘Adam’ in our image, similar to us, and have it dominate all over living things and even the earth itself!”

Yeah, “אָדָם,” “aw-dawm, adam.” Just means “human,” basically. Or “man.”

Hey, “man,” “human,” what’s the difference?

So poof, there’s Adam, or Human, or Man—whatever you want to call it. Created in the image of gods, male and female.

...Okay, okay, I hear you! First we’ve got the plural “אֱלהִים” for one being, so I’m stuck saying “gods” when there’s a perfectly good singular “אֱלוֹהַּ” available, but I can’t use it and just say “god” because that’s not what the Bible says—and now we’ve got the singular “אָדָם” but it’s male and female so there must be two of it, right? Or is it intersex? Are “gods” a single being? Is “Adam” more than one person? Gaaaah!

The only thing to do is look at what the divinely inspired writer is actually saying.

Gods is plural. Adam is singular. Multiple gods created a single human, and that human was both male and female.

“But,” I hear you say, “this isn’t what I was taught in church!”

Well, I can’t help that, can I? It’s what the Bible says! It’s right there in divinely inspired black and white! “אֱלהִים” is plural! “הָֽאָדָם” is singular! This isn’t my idea! It clashes with what I was taught, too! But here it is! You want me to pretend these aren’t the words this divinely inspired writer used?

Thank you.

The gods endow this dual-sexed being with the ability to reproduce itself using basically the same words they used to bless the sea creatures and the flying things with that ability—“be fruitful and multiply”—which I guess means asexual reproduction was the original plan for humanity. Then again, who knows? These are gods. Maybe the plan was for Adam to split into two for the act, then recombine. Or some other weird thing that I can’t even think of. They’re, you know… gods. Anything is possible.

Incidentally, Adam is another thing that gets a free pass on the inspection deal! The gods don’t bother to check and see if Adam’s any good, nope. They just charge right on ahead into setting up what Adam’s going to eat (seeds and fruit, in case you were wondering), and what the other non-sea-based creatures are going to eat (the plants themselves).

Yes, vultures ate plants. Lions ate plants. Mosquitoes ate plants. Don’t question it. These are gods. They can do what they want.

Still the fifth day here, in case you were curious. Unless the time before light and darkness got separated counts as a day, in which case it’s the sixth day—but still. This is a lot to get done in one day. Guess they’re really hitting their stride, these gods.

And they’ve got time left, so they look over everything they’ve made and decide it’s all a-okay.

Evening, morning, sixth day starts.

Or seventh, depending on how you’re counting.

#Bible #Genesis 1 #nondenominational Christianity #upbringing #Isaiah reads

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sirmattyofpants · 4 years

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Combating projection. That's what I'm all about.

There's encouraging news that all is not lost, even though Tuesday night was hard. . . My mother in law just has pneumonia and has looked a bit improved. My kids are all breathing healthy, especially the Bear (my youngest). . . My wife has been vigilant with the Lysol disinfectant and spraying surfaces and wiping down door handles and routinely cleaning.

There's a solid chance they're shutting down my place of work soon, and believe me, after today, I could use the break both mentally and physically. . . A couple mandated weeks away would be beneficial. I haven't had a week away from this place since I went to Hawaii a couple years ago.

A break where I can be at home would be relief. Although, after today, I don't have to come back until Wednesday (thanks planned vacation days!) so that's what my primary focus is.

But back to the main topic. . .

I projected my anxieties. I am unaware at times when I'm doing it, and my wife called me out. I was making her anxiety worse by adding mine, and she was diagnosed with a panic disorder so. . . Let's just say I was not helping. At all.

I did a full stop, apologized, and told her I'd be more mindful. Shit's already TENSE so adding to it ain't gonna do no good. It had me dawm on other ways I projected. . .

For the longest time I projected my abandonment issues. . . And didn't realize that can be a form of manipulation. The "I'm nothing without you" or the "well if you leave then I'm leaving too" or what was probably the worst. . . Bringing up what will happen to the kids.

She was never obligated to stay. She was choosing to stay.

I was horrifically abused by someone who used my insecurities against me. . . When you're with someone abusive, you never know what their intentions are. . . Which poisons you. You either find someone worse or you wind up becoming abusive. . . Especially when you don't get therapy for it.

So for the majority of my relationship with my wife, I was thoroughly convinced she was going to leave at some point. . . Instead of trusting her entirely. . . And that lead me to become a monster to someone who grew up in pure hell.

I couldn't be honest because I was afraid that my honesty would push her away. . . Or start a fight that would cause her to leave. . . And when I would mess up something, anything. . . I became a dissociated, insufferable mess. . . And couldn't. .. . Wouldn't explain it. . . Instead I'd just take shit out on her passive aggressively and be an asshole and down the line knew damn well I deserved to not have her.

It wasn't fair. At all.

Then I grew the fuck up. I GREW the FUCK up and out of everyone and everything around me. While she was going through her dark spot (hanging with some of the shittiest people that I wasn't related to), I was starting my grand exodus.

She didn't leave. Every day for almost 4 years I was waiting for her to. . . Blaming myself and knowing my past sins against her, not being outward or properly apologizing. . . But her friends at the time made it impossible to talk about anything. ANYTHING.

So I carefully and quietly purged family and friends that were toxic and garbage and did nothing for me. Any friend linked to anyone who tried to get us to cheat on each other, tried to lure us away, meddling, conniving, or flat out fucking awful was systematically being phased out and blacklisted.

After moving into our own house, and getting therapy and growing to a point where I told the final boss in that chapter (my dreadful mother) to fuck off entirely and stop contacting me. . . I have no more issues with abandonment. The only issue I have, the only real fear is if she suddenly were to pass. She told me that's the only real way she'd leave. Or if I regress and revert back to who I was years ago. . .

Fuck that. . . Experience is a teacher, and I have learned that I never will put anyone through that experience again. . . Myself included.

I am combating projection. Fighting it with kindness. Because I know what I'm all about.

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mmanchadibethestoryteller-blog · 5 years

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becoming 20something.

okay so boom... there i am in matric sitting next to Lerato and applying for any and very course i could think of. just as long as i get into uj, then i’m good. the reality of how real shit was about to get in a few months didnt kick in.

there was a clear difference between how me and Lerato felt about school. my interest was inconsistent, it depended on various things from how much i liked my teacher, what incentive would i receive for getting good marks...

keep in mind, i wanted to take a gap year after matric but since that wasn’t an option, i just settled for getting into a university and never thought after that. meanwhile Lerato has it all figured out. literally... she knows what she wants to study, where, why, bursaries, financial aid.. she even knows the order of how her career is gonna work out. everything thoroughly thought out and researched.

fast forward to after high school, i choose to study jewellery because it sounds easy, i mean doesnt seem too complicated. a few months down the line, i think to myself:”dawm this is shit, what were you thinking?” because i mean everything is great in theory but when it comes to practice, the actual doing of the thing. now thats a shit fest. my gosh... so then i decide,”i mean one year down, whats two more years?” the answer to is two more years is 3 more years because i failed one module by 2%. come on TWO percent! i mean how pathetic, i didn’t even fail properly, i failed by a landslide basically. and no my lecturer wouldn’t give me the two percent because the rules state that the student must have atleast 49% then and only then can you “make up marks’...which is trash if you ask me. you score badly on one assignment and your entire year is ruined. second year comes and oh my freak i can actually do this. because im Khumi baby and i’m an optimist as fuck. until October came and i just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel because if these next two years are gonna be as long as the past two years then i just wont make.

fast forward to this moment right now when im in bed having quality conversations with my son. telling him that i hope by the time hes 16 he already has it figured out for the next 12years.. so that when hes 22 he is already on his startup. so that he isnt 22 and only then starting to figure out the whole life thing instead of letting it happen to him. because lets face it, if youre 18/19 and you dont have it figured out for 24 then its already too late. just hope that by 21/22 you can figure it out for 26.

and yeah i know theres nothing wrong with studying something new at whatever age youre at and any point in your life, blah blah blah... another thing we should face... you get to a certain age and at that point in your life when you realise life has been happening to you. you realise where you couldve been had you known at 18/19 what you know now. you could be stepping into the beginning stages of adulting and being on your own two feet... so for those of you that know 100 what im talking about. lets start doing things that scare us the most because those are the things worth doing.lets start tapping into our greatness and get to where we’re meant to be in this trap called life. lets start looking at 26

#motivation #truth #reality #life quotes #short story

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rage-against-the-meyer · 4 years

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Breaking Dawn (2008)

So, I've reviewed the other Twilight Saga books already, but I promiss you, this is gonna be the worst one yet. I must admit, as a 13-year-old girl this was my favorite book (don't kill me yet). I was growing up in a Dutch small Christian town that had had a big infuence on my views. In my mind, it was perfectly logical that the story ends with a child against all odd. As a grown-up Biomedical scientist, this does not go anymore. As such, I now view Breaking Dawm as the absolute worst one yet and here, I will tell you exactly why.

Breaking Dawn is a big fat book that consists of three different books. I will discuss the books seperately in fear that it might be too much otherwise.

Part I from Bella's point of view

It's no surprise that I actually do like this book. We get 6 chapters of sheer happiness and joy. Very much Edward/Bella intimacy and they finally have sex (woohoo). So what can I bitch about?

Well, actually not too much. I loved the wedding, the secret goodbyes (yes, I cried). I just believe that after the first 6 chapters Bella should have struggled with the decission to change instead of the pregnancy. Yes, Chapter 7 is the cursed chapter for me. It's the onset of all pending misery. Also, it is the first time that menstruations are mentioned and the weak excuse SM gave to explain the never-having-killed-her-due-to-smelling-period-blood on Edwards part is just that, weak. So, all-in-all, I hated this chapter but what comes after is exceedingly worse.

Part II from Jacob's point of view

I hate Jacob. That much hasn't changed. I hated the cold Jacob that is so prominent here very very much. Personal sun my ass. I have always loathed this POV but it offers us some interesting views on the wolves and the Quileute people. It was good to see the communication between the wolves, but it was also nonsense. The big difference between you can't hide what you think and thinking in directed full sentences became a blurry line that never really made sense to me. What was good about it, is that we saw how pure Seth's mind is and how deeply hurt and actually good Leah is. Seth, a mere teenager, is objectively one of the purest characters I have ever read and that's on that. The faint influence of the coming Gen Z was shimmering through in his defiance of made boundaries in communication: Seth saw the good in the Cullens and defied his tribes prejudice. Good for him. Leah, of course, is one of the most denied characters in the series. Such a fierce young woman that has suffered so much is the only character that does not get redemption. It is absolutely outrageous and I agree with many that it shows SMs prejudice against women of colour. She gets literally nothing. She stands on her own in a group of men that mock her for her guard as she has to suffer through knowing her ex's love for his new love. Then, of course, she cannot have children and she gets no love interests. To through all these (in SMs mind) limitations only at one of the few POC is not great. I do like the fact that Leah and Jacob become closer and that Leah cares most for Seth. It's not enough, though. Leah should have gotten the trip to go to college somewhere far away, paid for by the Cullens out of sheer gratitude. She should have everything and all but through Bella's (read: SMs) mind she is still depicted as sad, lonely and bitter. To show a woman's anger like that is straight up misogynistic. Great start.

Jacob's story skips so many valuable parts of Bella's story, which we have been focussing on until now, and it makes so little sense that Jacob would be there for all the important interactions.

In Jacob's part, some shocking facts become clear. As a biomedical scientist, I have been holding back the outrageousness of this one: the chromosomes.

Vampires are frozen in time; after the change, their bodies don't change anymore. They also don't grow new or longer hairs, new teeth, anything. They are frozen in time. Curiously, they still have a need to feed (blood) and their consumption influences four things: their thirst, the colour of their eyes, their strength and their behaviour. I will tell you why this makes absolutely no sense. In humans, we feed for much the same reasons: we don't get hungry, we stay alive, become stronger and we are nicer when we aren'r hungry. This influence is exerted by the distribution of food molecules throughout the body; to the brain, to the muscles, the organs, you name it. Vampires don't have blood, their distribution of food molecules would be so slow that it would take days if not weeks for the molecules to get to the eyes or the brain. We know vampires aren't mushy inside to increase the distribution so how does it work? It eludes me, I'll tell you. Also, every part of the vampire body is supposed to be solid. Where does the liqud from the blood go? A human averagely holds 5 litres of blood. That is a lot. And since the body doesn't change, where does the liquid go? Aside from the distribution, it makes even less sense that any of these factors should be influenced by anything at all. It is likely that vampires still have cells, their bodies still need to create impulses, movements, talk etc. But their bodies don't changes anymore, so after the change the cells stop producing hair molecules? Why don't the hairs drop anymore? It is so dumb that SM suggested a certain balance between the actiond that continue and actions that don't. We still move the muscles but they can't grow anymore but the cells in the muscle stay active?? This brings me to the chromosomes.

So, Carlisle has tested human, vampire and werewolf (without consent) blood. He found that vampires have 25 chromosome pairs, werewolves 24 and humans 23 chromosome pairs. His findings and his tone suggest that he attributes all the vampire qualities to the 2 extra chromosomes. Now, with everything that I have just explained, I see no possiblity behind that. The venom of a vampire just adds two pairs of chromosomes to your cells? One from your mother and one from your dad? And then, these chromosomes are able to pinpoint exactly with genes to silence and which to activate and that is enough to make your skin hard as granite? No way. The body makes strong pieces, but still the strongest is the teeth. Strong but not as strong as SM thinks.

All-in-all this science is straight up the biggest fucking bullshit I have ever seen. There is just no logic behind the logic SM gave. It doesn't stop here, though. No. I am 100% convinced that SM has not had any sex talk ever in her life. She started with Edward's 100-year-old sperm being vital enough to produce a baby. This sperm is saved at approxomately the temperature of a rock/as cold as ice. This is far far far too high a temperature to preserve sperm cells for long, let alone a 100 years. So, No. No, again. Then, Edward's dick is magically able to get hard without any liquids in the body? No. And THEN, his human sperm cells (human but also vampire?) are able to make a zygote with Bella's egg cell??? A zygote with 24 (!!!) chromosome pairs???? So, it's one of each of Bella's, one of each of Edward's and then just one of the two vampire pairs?????? No. Nah-ah.

I haven't been this vocal about any of my other issues, including racism and other forms of discrimination. Somehow, I have accepted that these concepts come from very well-preserved ideas and I can plainly discuss this matter. However, the pain Stephenie Meyer has put me through as a scientist is still very unknown to me and it annoys me to the core.

I suppose, while I'm on the matter, I should address the elephant in the room. Resumé. Renesue is the embodiment of everything Bella didn't need. The book should have ended before the pregnancy. A story of a woman that found a love in a vampire and she needed nothing else in her life but him. This was the story we were promissed. And then, SM takes her turn to make the last non-conservative woman in the book a mother (her being a mother will come later).

In conclusion, this part stretched every nerve in my body and made me cringe so hard I felt sick.

Part III from Bella's point of view

I'm not gonna lie, I have been pretty dark about the last part. But I LOVE Bella as a vampire. The tranquil chapters where she learns everything about being a vampire made me confident I wanted to be one. I loved Bella more confident and comfortable. I loved the new ease between Bella and Edward. Tranquil, as I said.

Of course, these chapters are overshadowed in part by Rususme. I don't mind the child. It seems nice enough - SM made it pure. But Bella is not a very caring mother. She meets her daugther and then, both Edward and her really don't mind her. They have no urge to be with her and have no trouble letting her go. They go have sex the whole night instead of looking at Relsume's dreams. Then, there is the fact that all tense and loaden discussions are held in the presence of the exceptionally perceiving child. Edward can SEE that she understands tensions. It's so fucking dumb. It really bothered me the last time I read it, maybe because I've matured or maybe because I didn't really care the first time.

When it comes to the final battle approaching, I enjoyed that. I loved Alice's plan. I like the Volturi and their grand dramatic scheming and such. I loved the new characters very much. I think they added a whole new demension to the story. I would have been there for Edward and Bella traveling around the world meeting these people with the oncoming thread of genocide for a child as well though. Of course, the racism is back. The Amazonian and Egyptian vampires are so blatantly racistly described. In that aspect, the movie deserves way more credit for giving us the straight up prettiest actors ever to cover this.

Wrongness continues as Jacob imprints (as the second wolf) in an infant. I know some people see no issue with this. SM tried to make it clear that it was just about her happiness by letting Edward see that Jacob wasn't thinking sexually about his equivalent-of-a-three-year-old child. I mean. Looking at this logically, it's disgusting and there is no changing my mind. Personally, I feel Jacob could have imprinted on any other female character (with the exception of Leah). For all I care it was a 35-year-old woman. But, reversed pedophilia (Jacob was still underage) isn't fun for SM so she sticks with what she knows.

I think I have adressed my most important issues. Please inform me if I've missed any. As usual, I urge you to inform yourself on the Quileut Tribe as it is and donate to them for SM has wronged and exploited them.

The Quileute Tribe

Information:

Donation:

TLDR: I curse Stephenie Meyer for creating that incredibly stupid child as a way to project Jacob's love to something of Bella. Please inform yourself on the Quileute Tribe and donate to them via the links above; SM has wronged them.

As a final note, I am a biomedical scientist at heart. I am always interested in a challenging topic, so fire away.

#breaking dawn #bella swan #bella #edward and bella #edward cullen #edward #the cullens #rosalie cullen #esme cullen #alice cullen #emmett cullen #jasper cullen #bella cullen #renesmee and jacob #renesmee cullen #resume

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kalmeria · 6 years

Conversation

*decides not to sleep until dawm because that's a waste of time*

*is genuinely suprised by being tired*

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survivorindia · 7 years

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Bitch I’m Shook...and I Have a Fucking Idol- Sarah (Episode 9-10)

Operation “Don’t Be A Dick”-Kendall (Episode 10)

idk what to say lol. i thought my confessionals were being leaked. still think they are. i dont like talking about game because i dont have any. this should just be a reminder to myself to stop being a neurotic mess. start being confident. stop talking so much. be nice. stroke jordan pines' ego. believe sarah's horse shit lies. look for idol. also eat healthy. i wont win so maybe i should start playing to fuck shit up. good luck to everyone in my path.

Curse that idol play. We're gonna have to try again to get Ruben out, but since 5 vs 1, hopefully it's simple..

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Dawm and Rubum honestly are so fucking annoying? like cry me a fucking river [4:15:39 PM] Dommy 🔸: Honestly [4:15:57 PM] Dommy 🔸: This group sucks ass and it's not fair to Regan for me to quit. [4:16:27 PM] Dommy 🔸: So all of y'all petty asses can vote me out. All of you are lairs. [4:16:31 PM] Dommy 🔸: and snakes. [4:17:17 PM] Lexi: wtf

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I’m here to show tumblr that wiki people can play.

I’ve mended ties with Ruben and got some juicy details on Alex… this shall be a very very fun merge :) Look out Pines :O

Moving forward into the merge, my plan is to first and foremost mend ties with Dom. How do I do this? It will be difficult… really difficult, and I’ll need Ruben to be my middle-man. The first step in that plan was put in motion tonight, with me talking to Ruben and trying to re-establish some level of trust. It is clear as day that he still doesn’t trust me, but that’s a given… I need to vote his way at a tribal to truly gain his trust. If I can get Dom off my back, I just want to fade into obscurity for two to three votes come merge… allow Pines to duke it out with Dom as I ferry between the two sides. During this period, my focus will be on getting closer to Ruben and Kendall. If Dom stills targets me, I’ll look to rally the Shallow Alliance against Alexis or Dom, and begin to talk to Robin. I’m pretty sure I could get Ashley and (hopefully) Sarah in on an Alexis or Dom vote. Jaiden, from what I have heard, appears to be an easy vote later down the line so I have no issue with him staying in the game. I can depend on him to always be crazy… I don’t fear people like him whatsoever. The people I fear are those I cannot get a solid read on, and that’s why Dom is such a fearsome adversary.

On 2/26/17, at 11:46 PM, Ruben wrote: > Gotcha thanks man that means a lot. Honestly as long as Lexi doesn't care idgaf what happens over there lol. I'm just glad I'm getting the chance to make merge in my first tumblr game haha Cut the “happy to make merge” bs >,> I know you’re a very very very shrewd player… no need to fake anything mate ;o

So my goal going into the challenge was to allow the reward to act as a reason to talk to other players that I haven't talked to all that much... and that worked out pretty well! Ashley and I have been "working together" for reward... mainly just her giving me reward answers and then me giving her one in return because I was under the impression we would tie for first if I gave her all my answers. Then comes along Ruben, who has 20+ reward items... so I give him my entire list without Ashley knowing, in an attempt to garner a little bit of trust and hope he shares reward with me :) Turns out I had three items he didn't have, so yay, I kinda helped! Ruben is now bound to win reward over at the least Ash, Liam, and I... immunity will be far tighter, but honestly doesn't matter all that much so early into merge. The Nu-Nu-Parvati tribe sans-Ruben should be able to run the table with Sarah and Ashley's help for a bit of the merge. That being said, I've talked quite a bit with Ruben and a fair bit with Robin. I love them both... more Robin than Ruben, though :P Robin seems fun but a bit harder to talk to, while Rubin seems to be always thinking. My goal in this merge is to have openings with most people for when it comes time to take a stab at Sarah and Pines. Oh, I almost forgot! I've been talking a fair bit to Jaiden as well. He's a talkative guy... you can really tell he is trying super hard to keep the conversation going and he feels slightly alienated (or at least tries to portray himself as so). He's a person I can depend on to go against Jordan, and Jordan will always go against him before he takes a shot at me. I am getting ready, talking to people so nobody has a reason to openly gun for me in the near future. Jordan, like me, has been talking to the people that the Shallow Alliance have no interest in talking to (like Rubin, Robin, Jaiden, etc...), but he is coming off as fake to those folk, which plays into my favor

I just wanna say that I love the hosting crew this season. As a host myself, I know how frustrating it can be to have certain... things occur. So I am honestly sorry that you guys are dealing with this. I personally love this season and can't wait to see what happens <3

This tribe has been really interesting. The dynamics were a little hectic at first but things settled down. We have majority at the moment and it's fantastic. I think I have a solid path to make it far unless the majority decides to turn on itself, but there are indeed bigger fish to fry.

So, with the merge comes the Jury, and I definitely have to see how to handle this Jury. My main issue in my entire life has been a social game in Survivor. I ignore people sometimes, and I'm just generally bad at keeping up conversations. Gavin isn't. I am fully aware that going into a FTC with Gavin will be very difficult. And so I have to prepare myself to try and get people to sway more towards my side. That means conversating with Ashley on a daily basis, or Lexi L, etc. Just because they aren't in my end game does not mean I don't talk with them, and that's something I need to make sure I do.

Well... Lexi just offered me nudes in exchange for safety. I was lonely enough to consider it but then I remembered that I don't want to get arrested for child pornography. It's bad enough with the necrophiliac charges... Where was I going with this? Oh right merge! We merged! I CAN BEAT MY PLACEMENT FUCKING FINALLY!!!!!! I JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT I DON'T FUCK UP! Also I'm trying this new thing called "Socializing" I'm not sure how I'm doing because my austic ass can't read people for shit. But Lexi offered to be my best friend and give me nudes so I'm probably off to a good start. I get along well with my alliance members, I just need to extend my reach to others. This season has been heavily divided by newbs versus returnees and I feel that anyone who can cross the aisle would have a chance at winning. I know I'm on good terms with Robin and I get along well enough with Jaiden. I'm not sure how I'm doing with Lexi and Ruben. Sure they are being nice to me and they wanted to name the merge tribe Bayi Mati but they could just be frenching my ass hole. I try really hard to get people but I don't think I will ever know how to. Still operation "Don't-Be-A-Dick" is a go!

It's just an assumption as of now but I don't think the returnees want to get rid of Jaiden since he's a returnee. Ruben & Lexi are probably winning the challenges I think, so that leaves Robin and I and from the two of us, it's almost a no-brainer, who would want to get rid of Robin, she's so nice and I can assume that a lot of people love her so I'll be following Dom out of the game most likely. Dustata really was doomed after those initial tribals woo! I'll try my best but it's super blah when no one wants to do anything fun. I don't blame them since returnees have majority, it's easier just to pick half of the newbies off and use us as numbers but it makes for such a bland game.

Ruben not taking me to the cave, REALLY REALLY cute! I'm such a spiteful person so we'll see where that leads. :) Did I want to go? No, but it would have been smart to ask first! I didn't want to go because being too close to the newbies is a huge target and as of right now, I believe I'm close with the returnee villains or at least Jaiden and possibly Jordan but Sarah is allergic to replying back to me. Sarah is also is alienating all her potential jury votes by antagonizing the minority constantly which makes me laugh, not going to lie! Imagine having a huge train wreck of a game like that; I love good TV! If Liam is really dense to the point where he believes his best chance to make it further is to stick with the returnees then we might as well write the metaphorical check to Kendall or Jordan but let's be honest, he doesn't care about the game and he's just here to screw us (the minority) over by staying. I'll be talking to Jordan later and sharing my pitch which is to use me as a vote to take out the large group of returnee heroes or they would have the numbers to take out the returnee villains which is essentially just Jordan and Sarah at this point because Sarah already antagonized Jaiden to the point where he doesn't want to work with her. I think Jordan's best shot at forming something with us would be through me but I have no clue as to how much he has talked to the others. I believe that Ruben or Lexi L might be leaving this time around since they have rubbed the majority the wrong way as of the #cheatinggate scandal. To ensure the newbies do not have numbers, they will not align with us until a few of us have gone so that's the downside. I have the fear that they may try and target someone else so we don't see it coming so that's a little terrifying but I'll try and speak with everyone to see which road I should head down.

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause

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